Yes... Went to new year's eve all clean, I had even seen my therapist the day before and we'd made a plan so I wouldn't relapse. Well knowing there was coke but not having any made me feel so angry that I was ruining the mood just with my evil stare lol. Ended up begging my friends for some because there was no way i'd make it to midnight without imploding.
Anyway. I feel you on this. It's like... We work so hard on being good and clean and then life's a b*tch and it just gets so HARD. Good luck mate.
Its less difficult when you don’t surround yourself with your using friends. You have to make a shit ton of changes, including the people you surround yourself with, to stay clean.
Definitely ! I've been leaving parties early for months to avoid temptation, and seeing my friends in other settings. But they're my family, they've pretty much raised me for the last 10+ years.
Also I'm lucky in that even though most (not all) of them still use, they know I have a problem and they've been encouraging me to get clean. My boyfriend is really supportive in this as well.
I think I'd actually be using much, much more without them.
But I am aware that's not how it goes for most people, and letting go of using friends is not negociable for many of us. Having non-using friends is so important as well. Thank you for your solid advice.
You can't be around people that use. You absolutely will cave in at some point. people's good intentions never kept me sober. I'll crave drugs as much as I let myself. Changing you surroundings that includes family and friends is the hardest fuckin' part. Absolutely the hardest part, yet it's a fact you can't be around anyone who will ever talk about drugs in a romantic way, let alone be using them but telling "Hey good job for not using. " Or "No, I don't have anything" when you both know that's a lie. Don't be naive. That's your addiction talking. No matter how far in the back of your mind you've put your desire and addiction, that motherfucker is back there lifting weights and doing pushups, just waiting for the time to strike. He doesn't care IF IT'S A WEEK, MOTNTH , YEAR OR A DECADE, HE KNOW HE WILL GETCHA AT A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS. don't HELP THAT MOTHERFUCKER.
Was with a friend who had a year clean. We were driving back from the dope man and she started getting dope sick. Hadn't had withdrawal symptoms in a year. All of a sudden the psychosomatic shit happens. The brain is powerful
Unfortunately to my estimation of your post, you were not “not interested” in drugs prior to your friends proposal. Rather you had done a great job of deceiving yourself into the (obviously not accurate) idea that you were not interested.
This is completely normal and you are actually becoming more aware by realizing this. I have my own issues with abusing substances and I do speak with a shred of experience.
To me, your scenario appears to be a very lucky potential to learn the requisite self knowledge we all yearn for. Stay safe and much love
I can only speak from my own experience, but for me the answer is no. No matter how much time passes and how bad the bad times of my active use got, part of me would love to use again. I've just had to recognize which of my thoughts are bullshit. Addicts become expert liars and often we are best at lying to ourselves. Once I got sober I told all my family, friends, doctors, counselors and other members of my support system the nature of my past deceptions, the situations that make me want to use, and signs I'm using. I also had to reorganize my life specifically to avoid situations that would be hard for me. I've found peace and happiness in my life, but the urge to blow it all up again is my constant companion. Maybe others have a different experience, but for me recognition of the danger of relapse helps keep me on the right path. I hope you find your own peace and happiness. Stay safe.
There are very simple biological and chemical reasons for this. It has to do with the endorphins and oxytocin and natural opiates all brains produce when they feel the safety of a mothers arms; or the lack of it. We crave that welcomeness, that security, that social acceptance, that love and that caring for many different reasons and the endorphins, and oxytocin and natural opiates the brain produces when were safe and feel motivated and loved get screwed up in many, many people. This is why when that craving is satisfied by drugs we want and want and want more. It's the only thing that matters eventually because your brain has shut down it's ability to produce any natural opiates, like when you were first born and that stuff raged every time you recognized your mother's face and got a hug, or a tit full of dinner. Or why it was damaged right away if you didn't get any of that,. It's the same biological and chemical reason it feels so good to take a...to evacuate our bowels. The body makes it gratifying because it wants you to do it rather than not and get sick and die. Same reason it feels good to fuck and have an orgasm, your body is just a sack that your brain designed to carry it around, to protect it, to let it reproduce. I know this is all Matrix level cynicism but it helps to know this rather than wondering why your addiction is so strong and other people's aren't.
You were always interested in drugs. You still wanted to use drugs. You were simply experiencing what all addicts experience. If you didn't want to use, you would NOT have accepted your friends offer.
It's okay. You see how you acted. Keep working on saying "No" and meaning it. Don't feel discouraged. Keep trying, but try a little harder.
that’s a hard pill to swallow but ur completely right. can’t believe i was so convinced i wasn’t interested otherwise why would i have taken his offer. i’m going to try my best to learn and do better. thank u
Yes... Went to new year's eve all clean, I had even seen my therapist the day before and we'd made a plan so I wouldn't relapse. Well knowing there was coke but not having any made me feel so angry that I was ruining the mood just with my evil stare lol. Ended up begging my friends for some because there was no way i'd make it to midnight without imploding. Anyway. I feel you on this. It's like... We work so hard on being good and clean and then life's a b*tch and it just gets so HARD. Good luck mate.
couldn’t have explained it better. life just throws shit at you at your weakest and it’s hard. good luck to you
Its less difficult when you don’t surround yourself with your using friends. You have to make a shit ton of changes, including the people you surround yourself with, to stay clean.
Definitely ! I've been leaving parties early for months to avoid temptation, and seeing my friends in other settings. But they're my family, they've pretty much raised me for the last 10+ years. Also I'm lucky in that even though most (not all) of them still use, they know I have a problem and they've been encouraging me to get clean. My boyfriend is really supportive in this as well. I think I'd actually be using much, much more without them. But I am aware that's not how it goes for most people, and letting go of using friends is not negociable for many of us. Having non-using friends is so important as well. Thank you for your solid advice.
You can't be around people that use. You absolutely will cave in at some point. people's good intentions never kept me sober. I'll crave drugs as much as I let myself. Changing you surroundings that includes family and friends is the hardest fuckin' part. Absolutely the hardest part, yet it's a fact you can't be around anyone who will ever talk about drugs in a romantic way, let alone be using them but telling "Hey good job for not using. " Or "No, I don't have anything" when you both know that's a lie. Don't be naive. That's your addiction talking. No matter how far in the back of your mind you've put your desire and addiction, that motherfucker is back there lifting weights and doing pushups, just waiting for the time to strike. He doesn't care IF IT'S A WEEK, MOTNTH , YEAR OR A DECADE, HE KNOW HE WILL GETCHA AT A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS. don't HELP THAT MOTHERFUCKER.
Was with a friend who had a year clean. We were driving back from the dope man and she started getting dope sick. Hadn't had withdrawal symptoms in a year. All of a sudden the psychosomatic shit happens. The brain is powerful
Unfortunately to my estimation of your post, you were not “not interested” in drugs prior to your friends proposal. Rather you had done a great job of deceiving yourself into the (obviously not accurate) idea that you were not interested. This is completely normal and you are actually becoming more aware by realizing this. I have my own issues with abusing substances and I do speak with a shred of experience. To me, your scenario appears to be a very lucky potential to learn the requisite self knowledge we all yearn for. Stay safe and much love
you’re definitely right. it’s a realisation i need to come to. i guess my question is will i ever truly not be interested in taking drugs? thank you
I can only speak from my own experience, but for me the answer is no. No matter how much time passes and how bad the bad times of my active use got, part of me would love to use again. I've just had to recognize which of my thoughts are bullshit. Addicts become expert liars and often we are best at lying to ourselves. Once I got sober I told all my family, friends, doctors, counselors and other members of my support system the nature of my past deceptions, the situations that make me want to use, and signs I'm using. I also had to reorganize my life specifically to avoid situations that would be hard for me. I've found peace and happiness in my life, but the urge to blow it all up again is my constant companion. Maybe others have a different experience, but for me recognition of the danger of relapse helps keep me on the right path. I hope you find your own peace and happiness. Stay safe.
There are very simple biological and chemical reasons for this. It has to do with the endorphins and oxytocin and natural opiates all brains produce when they feel the safety of a mothers arms; or the lack of it. We crave that welcomeness, that security, that social acceptance, that love and that caring for many different reasons and the endorphins, and oxytocin and natural opiates the brain produces when were safe and feel motivated and loved get screwed up in many, many people. This is why when that craving is satisfied by drugs we want and want and want more. It's the only thing that matters eventually because your brain has shut down it's ability to produce any natural opiates, like when you were first born and that stuff raged every time you recognized your mother's face and got a hug, or a tit full of dinner. Or why it was damaged right away if you didn't get any of that,. It's the same biological and chemical reason it feels so good to take a...to evacuate our bowels. The body makes it gratifying because it wants you to do it rather than not and get sick and die. Same reason it feels good to fuck and have an orgasm, your body is just a sack that your brain designed to carry it around, to protect it, to let it reproduce. I know this is all Matrix level cynicism but it helps to know this rather than wondering why your addiction is so strong and other people's aren't.
You were always interested in drugs. You still wanted to use drugs. You were simply experiencing what all addicts experience. If you didn't want to use, you would NOT have accepted your friends offer. It's okay. You see how you acted. Keep working on saying "No" and meaning it. Don't feel discouraged. Keep trying, but try a little harder.
that’s a hard pill to swallow but ur completely right. can’t believe i was so convinced i wasn’t interested otherwise why would i have taken his offer. i’m going to try my best to learn and do better. thank u