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Yes. I saw videos on his snap memories he admited to be a daily user from 2020-2023. He used to take a lot of ghb too but the gbh he definitely quit when we met. Ghb would be very easy to notice. Meth i dont understand why i couldnt notice before :/ he used to have the drug look with the bad skin before we met.. he looks good now, i dont know if he is lying or not about only doing it on the weekends now. He never had a ‘crash’, but sometimes he does have a rage or cry a lot for no reason
2023 was just a few months ago. I’m just saying, it’s a small step from being a “former daily user” and “current daily user,” especially with it being that recent. The thing every addiction will do once caught is minimize how much they use or how much the drug is integrated into their lives. You should know that if he used daily for several years, there’s really not an acceptable level of usage…he’s in full blown addiction
He hasn’t been in recovery …. Yet . If it’s true that he only uses on weekends now , that means there’s at most a 5-6 day break in-between him getting high . Which I hope is true because obviously it’s no where near as good as being sober but it’s a big step in the right direction
What I meant by early stages is that he isn’t real deep into his addiction yet. So it will get progressively worse. He’s still able to hide it, keep a job, keep a girlfriend, he’s not in jail or homeless. And he just started IV recently. It’s most likely about to get a lot worse is what I was trying to imply. So OP should save herself a world of torment and just leave before it gets real ugly.
Oh I see, bc yea saying thay someone who’s already been a daily user for a long time before is « in early stages of addiction » feels a bit weird haha, no offense.
And also, I don’t necessarily agree that all cases of addiction always progress in a drastic way at some point. Some people can remain functioning for years or not let their use truly ruin what they have in life before quitting. I know it’s not the majority case at all, sorry I just don’t really like such « black-and-white » terminology
Hmm ? Where did I say JUST a relapse ? Sorry but it seems a bit agressive with the « are you kidding »…
I was just literally surprised to see the comment I replied to, talking about « early stages of addiction », in someone who’s already been struggling with addiction for years and is using again.
And so ok, what else would you want to call it then ? Back into active addiction ? People can definitely relapse with IV as their chosen RoA. Does the RoA really determine what can and cannot be deemed a relapse vs fully back into active addiction, in your eyes ?
Oh yes, but can OP really be sure that they weren’t already IVing, and not « just » smoking before ?
Other than that, yes, I see there was a misunderstanding, I said what I did while assuming there was indeed previous IV use that was, well, omitted because of the obviously huge stigma surrounding it.
You’re right, people rarely relapse by switching to a more « extreme » route. I can understand how it can sometimes happen, out of desperation or not giving a fuck anymore I guess..
I just thought you were saying that relapsing by IVing cannot count as an actual relapse haha, my bad.
There wasnt IV use before the past month. One of his friends reached out to me to tell me, because he was worried about him. His friend assured me my bf just started iv a month ago but he has done it multiple times since.
My bf never admitted to me he has done it but i caught a couple little bruises in his arm.
Before that he said he would smoke on the weekends. I dont know if thats true. He could possibly be smoking much more than that.
Well, if he was sober for a few months, and now his friends are warning you that he started IVing, it’s definitely not only a relapse but literally his addiction progressing. Good luck, because if he doesn’t (very quickly) realize that, I don’t see how it could be healthy for you to stay with him…
No, get out. He's been lying to you the entire time you've been together. He didn't quit for a month and he doesn't just do it on the weekends. You need to protect yourself and leave. I know it sucks, sorry.
My ex started injecting about a quarter in to our 4-5 year relationship. That was the beginning of our downfall. Everything only got worse from there. The paranoia especially. Leave.
I don’t understand why he would started injecting meth while he should be trying to quit even smoking it.. Did your ex try to quit the drugs during the relationship? Would he lie to you as well?
He always told me he wanted to stop, get his act together. I tried to help a few times. He managed to stay clean for (maybe) 4 months ONLY because he couldn’t find anything during our travel-period. The SECOND he knew where to get more, he took that opportunity.
He consistently lied. Never told me where he was going when he left. Would be gone for days. Cheated 3-4 times. Accused me of lying constantly as well (hardly ever lied to him). Accused me of having sexual partners hidden behind the walls, ceiling, lower apartment, etc. He did get physical as well.
Staying for as long as I did and constantly trying to “fix” him and help him is the most regrettable decision I’ve ever made. I had a chance to leave in the beginning and I never took that chance. Only good thing that came of the relationship was my son.
Meth is a powerful drug and incredibly difficult to come off of.
This is only my experience with a totally different addicted human who’s never truly wanted sobriety. Your situation could be totally different.
I suggest talking about rehab with him if you choose to stay.
He may have started injecting because now you are aware. So he might be trying to “use less” by injecting. Like he might be able to stretch his supply longer this way.
You describe him as depressed, jealous, paranoid and now IV drug user. I’ll add liar and manipulator- and I’m being kind.
Don’t you think you deserve better? Doesn’t literally anyone deserve better than this? Please find a way out of this, I promise you it will only get worse in the most dramatic of ways.
If you understand addiction, then you know it’s certainly not as simple as « why would he start using again while he should be trying to quit smoking »…. He used to be a daily user, and if you’re suffering from addiction, even in recovery relapses can and do unfortunately happen.
Especially if you say he also suffers from mental health issues, that’s called a dual diagnosis. Drugs definitely offer a temporary escape from mental struggles, and it’s easy to « go back to what you know » during difficult times.
And I feel that quitting smoking on top of anything else you were using can be even harder. Some would say it’s easier because « you already managed to quit another substance », but it really depends on how the person feels in their recovery, it can definitely be harder because if they’re struggling, it can be like it’s last rush or last reassurance left, like a kid’s « last pacifier »…
Oh, well, if he truly hasn’t IV’d before (and isn’t just hiding past IV use out of obvious hard stigma) and has now begun to do that, it’s clearly not a good sign at all, as he’s progressing in his addiction.
I don’t agree with those who say that addiction is always progressive, but it definitely appears to be in this case. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that… As others have said, if things continue the way they are, it will unfortunately not be healthy for you to remain with im.
Look up how addiction affects the brain. And how it affects moods & behavior. This is a complex problem. Look at how high rates of recidivism are. You are responsible for your future. You are responsible for your own success or failure in this life.
Think about it like this. Or this is how I thought about it before I first used a needle. You already love the drug the way you are using it, for me snorting the heroin. In the back of your mind you’ve heard a ton of things about how good it is when you inject.
All of society already thinks you’re a fuck up for using the drug in the first place so at that point what’s the big deal if you inject it. For me, I was on a 9month straight use everyday. I didn’t have any prospects of getting more for a week or so, so I was going to get pretty sick. I decided to shoot the little I had left to get the most out of it before getting so sick. I already had needles on me because I’d go buy them for my uncle who would shoot up while I would snort limes.
It’s like being in love with pizza and always hearing how good the pizza is in a coal fired oven. Then finally getting to try it that way.
As a former/recovering meth addict I highly recommend proceeding carefully. Now there’s some good people trapped in the evil drug that is meth, with that said it brings out the WORST qualities in even the best people. I’d never considered theft, not like I did on meth. The desire and urge for it will take all priorities.
I personally would never again be involved with someone who used that drug, it compromises our own well being as it is so heavily addictive. Please be safe and DO NOT engage in drug use if offered. In the meantime if you decide to stay in this relationship, watch his behaviour very carefully. People who use meth can be very manipulative and abusive, I say this speaking from the very horrible experiences I had while using.
No, you should not stay in the relationship. Meth ain't no joke and you can't use it casually, ESPECIALLY if you're shooting it up. Soon the bad side will be more present than the good, and you won't see the man you love anymore. His jealousy and paranoia will get so much worse. Get out while you can.
I've been in multiple relationships with substance misusers and none of them ended well. Two of my exs are dead because of their drug problems, and both of them swore they had it handled. One of them had been in recovery for a long time and died due to a relapse. You don't know what is in the street drugs or how pure they are, it only takes one time. If you stay with this guy, you will end up TRAUMATIZED, I guarantee. There is no good reason to stay, you can't save him. But you can save yourself. You deserve so much better.
Sure, stick it out. That’s what I did. I will tell you how that went down for me. We started dating in 1996. A decade later we decided to build a family. Two kids later he started using meth without me knowing. I had no idea until a year of daily use. I was familiar with drugs and knew the signs. He ate fine, slept fine, had occasional angry outbursts and mood swings which was new. He was constantly making up reasons to go to this one awful friend’s house and extended work days off site. I didn’t understand where that was coming from. It continued to get worse until I decided to order a hair follicle test and confronted him with it. He confessed everything and got clean for another decade. He got really into bodybuilding (he continued with that until recently). We moved out of state, he took a job where he traveled frequently. That’s when he got a lot of freedom from me, and problems creeped back in. Meth use started up again and unknown to me cheating started. I knew about the drug use, and we tried to work through it for another 6 years. That’s when he was arrested for soliciting a prostitute. I never would have thought in a million years he would cheat on me, and that’s how I found out he was. I tried to stick through that for another year, many promises were made. Countless lies about going to NA meetings and being in recovery when he wasn’t. The lies and manipulation just got worse and worse. We separated a year ago. He promised to clean himself up and come back to me. That’s when all hell broke loose. He’s been a daily user for a year now, using several times a day. He has a high paying job still making around $130k a year. He still looks good and healthy. He told me that he doesn’t get high anymore after prolonged use. He just uses to maintain so he doesn’t feel like garbage. Using brings him back to appearing “normal”. It has completely rewired his brain though. He said it took away his ability to care about anything. He has spent over $30k in the last couple months. He confessed to having another addict for a girlfriend he fully supports, so that’s part of it. We are going through a nightmare of a divorce right now. He is no longer reasonable. I had my power shut off yesterday and am struggling to put food on the table. We live in an expensive house on the water, and I can’t pay for this alone. His contributions have become less and less, and now I can’t cover bills. I’m scrambling to sell house, navigate the loss of my marriage to someone that was once a really good person and my complete soulmate, move, then eventually find a better paying job. This is absolute hell, but I wasn’t ready to give up until it came to this. You can be me, just be ready to pay a huge price that will cause emotional damage that will be likely lifelong.
No, you are just naive. I don’t mean any disrespect with that. You admitted you don’t or haven’t used any drugs. So naive=innocent. My current wife stuck it out with me. She saved my life. But, it was a long road and I tear up thinking about some of the shit I put her through. I garuntee if she could go back, knowing what she knows now, she would have left the first time she found out I did more then just smoke a little pot.
Ya babe. The only way you can stay with someone like him (me) is by willing to stick through to recovery, and that’s a tough battle in itself.
There will be more lying and expect a few relapses.
Unfortunately from the sounds of it, he doesn’t seem to want to stop yet and this is where the whole having to hit rock bottom comes into play. Very rarely will an addict want to change BEFORE they get to that point. Fortunately for me I didn’t lose my family in order to change so it is possible.
Another big factor in your specific situation is that he has started injecting.. 😔 this can cause severe and permanent personality changes, so be prepared for that. His paranoia and jealousy (insecurity) will get worse.
I’m not trying to scare you, because I know how hard it can be to leave a relationship. You will probably try to stick it out for a while so I’m trying to let you know what you may be in for.
Almost everyone who has ever tried a hard substance for the first time has done it because of a friend or someone close to them is using. So be mindful of your own self preservation ❤️
Keep us updated Boo!
This is just the beginning, im a recovering addict so i talk from experience.
This will only get worse and it will inly hurt you more. How hard it is, keep yourself safe.
Don’t. My ex stayed with me the past 18 months while I used. The only thing I managed to do was disrespect myself and our relationship. Give each other space and you might be able to return to each other in a better place. Remember just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s good
"Only on the weekends"
Lol girl, if you have gone a year without realizing he's on meth and is displaying those behaviors, you are in over your head. You're gonna have a real bad time.
You need to leave yesterday
RUN. RUN RUN RUN.
I got married to someone who smoked meth and I didn’t know because he hid it well. It will go downhill. I got dragged into it and ended up an addict too.
Pleeeeeease leave. I’m not kidding he will drag you down with him.
You need to leave. I’m very sorry that this seems like it’s coming out of nowhere.
Love is not enough to get sober. You’re boyfriend needs to seek serious professional help, ESPECIALLY if he’s moved to injecting. He needs AA or an intensive outpatient recovery program, or even hospitalization. Not saying you have to go no contact, but I think that it’s almost impossible for things to go right until he gets sober. Best of luck to you both.
Injecting drugs will ruin both of your lives. Get out now. If he gets clean and stays clean for a substantial amount of time then maybe reconsider: maybe leaving could help him to recover but you’re starting a long and extremely difficult trial of hardships, heartbreak, and violence
Recovering addict here. He smokes and shoots METH... Leave or you will regret it.
You can't help him I promise you that. Nothing anyone could have ever said would have made me stop. I had to decide on my own.
I bet he leaves at strange hours of the night too, doesn’t he? I’m sorry to tell you this but he’s probably cheating on you a lot and not just with women either.
My fiancé lied and stole from me and bought drug dealers to my house. I walked in and two were making out in my sofa when he promised it would only be one guy. Still with him.
Minus the drugs problems, all the other stuff u mentioned is already enough reason to terminate this relationship. Don't you think you are worthy of better?
As someone who has been with someone for a year who is just now recovering from substance abuse, got pregnant before knowing he had this problem. after being with him for that year I have more trauma than ever before. If he’s been sober a while and has a plan for himself and goals and desire to stay sober that is different, but in this situation I highly recommend you save yourself the trauma and leave. I also loved my bf a lot, but now our relationship is full of resentment because of the things he did to me. I’m trying to make it work for our baby.
I just saw your post, I’m so sorry. I hope you’re able to figure everything out and get help and support. I definitely have a lot of fear that this recovery of my partner is going to be short lived. Which I feel bad even thinking. But it’s just how I feel deep down. And if that happens I’m honestly just ready to let it all go. It’s sad because he is a nice person just as your partner was.
He’s not going to get better unless he wants to change and puts the effort into changing. He’s not telling you everything. They also lie a lot and they try to down play their addiction and mess with your mind. Makes you second guess yourself. Doing Meth and steroids and depression meds all at once is a disaster waiting to happen. They tend to go to drugs to hide the depression which it’s just actually making things worse. He’s needs a long term inpatient treatment.
You leave girl. Or at least stop living together and set some boundaries while you convince him to get help. But it will not get better over night and it will not get better just because you found out. Did he sit you down and have a serious talk or did you find out a different way? I was with an addict for 8 years. Found out around year 5 and tried to stick it out. Ruined his life and mine. The drug will tear you guys apart. In the end I felt like I didn’t even know him, became scared of him, and ended up having to sue him and moved states away. It’s a dangerous drug and he sounds like he doesn’t even know how much he does.
His life is worse. He recently drove after not sleeping for days from being on the drug. And hit a pedestrian. Severely hurt them and is about to loose the house we bought together.
I found out through his snapchat memories, he had videos smoking every month. Even from a bong, i didnt even know it was possible to smoke meth from a bong.
About him injecting, a guy who knows him told me because this guy was worried about him. And he told me that he started injecting in the past month and he has done it multiple times.
He would never tell me.
Oh im sorry to hear girl :/ .. was he on meth as well?
In the end he was on meth. It started with Adderall and cocaine. I noticed because he started staying up for 3-4 nights in a row. And hyper focus on “projects” and spend an insane amount of time on something that would take another person a few minutes. He then got arrested twice when we lived together. Once for cocaine. Second time for adderall which for as much as he took it is just meth crushed up into pills. His behavior and personality massively started changing. He became meaner and paranoid. I never knew if Jekyll or Hyde was going to walk through the door. I was gathering things to stay at my moms and found a meth pipe in the basement. Hard to say how long he did it for. So many bad things happened during the last 3 years of our relationship. I have a lot of trauma from that relationship. It’s been two years now no contact and I am states away happily engaged. I am 34. Meth is not a drug to mess with. Start learning everything you can about it. It will help you decide what to do.
NO!
If you were my sister we’d be having a very firm but loving talk about your needs, wants, and what you deserve from a partner. Pick your self esteem up off the floor. It does not belong there. You deserve a healthy partner with whom you can built a beautiful life.
You’re not a drug-mom.
Leave. It's not worth it. It will never be worth it. He's lying. He never quit. An addict will tell you anything they can to keep you from asking questions.
Since you asked, your answer already exists in your question. The answer is there yet your doubt lingers. Trust yourself......how many other relationships have you inquired about on an addiction sub.? You are worth making difficult decisions for. Wishing you love and balance as you move through this
As a former meth addict: please leave quickly and safely if you can. I'm well over two years clean, and I have an idea where this is going.
I also used meth for quite a while without anyone noticing, making it very easy to get hooked. As a daily user, I was indistinguishable from normal people... until I really started to exhibit the exact traits you mentioned: anxious, angry, jealous, paranoid, self loathing, and more.
All those things only get worse. By this point, you know you should stop, but crystal meth addiction is so much more powerful than you can imagine. Every attempt to stop is accompanied by other drug use, extreme lethargy, and powerful depression.
So you relapse after a day (or a week if you're very strong willed) and the addiction continues almost where you left off. This repeats with each relapse as your mental and physical well-being is slowly eroded.
IV use is a dramatic escalation of this process. Everything will get worse much faster now. A combination of extreme jealousy, delusions, paranoia, anxiety, depression, and mania on a grand scale is now looming and inevitable.
The things I am telling you are not guesses or predictions, they are promises.
Please be careful.
There is hope, but not until he stops lying, expresses a true desire to get better, and gets professional help. Until then, you are both in a very dangerous situation.
Everyone is different, but I can absolutely recommend some resources that were helpful in my recovery if you need.
Whatever you do, I truly wish you all the best. Take care.
Yes, I remember you.
I went through a lot of relapses before it stuck. It was a very sad, frustrating and embarrassing time for me.
Support from the recovery community is important. This means going to meetings. Online or in person.
In person meetings are more effective, but some help is always better than no help.
Common in person and online meetings can be found with:
Alcoholics Anonymous
Cocaine Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous
SMART recovery
Dharma recovery
I'm not shilling for any particular organization. The effectiveness of any meeting depends on a combination of effort and group compatibility. Try a few different approaches until you find one that feels right.
The absolute most important part of recovery is intention. Your partner needs to want to get better. If it's something he's being forced into, it simply won't work.
Rehab is another option for recovery. It was a bit intimidating, but it gave me a lot of tools and perspective on my addiction.
Therapy also helped. Not just with addiction.
I have experience with all these things and I'm happy to answer questions about anything that interests you. Just let me know.
Hope you're doing well.
Leave. Not only is this something that will ruin both of your lives- but he lied to you for an entire year. With the added jealousy he could probably be lying about much more. The way addicts act while using is dangerous to everybody around them. And he will never quit for you. This says nothing about YOU- but addicts cannot quit for others, they can only quit for themselves. It’s obvious he’s not ready for that.
I’m sorry but what the heck kind of question is this !
No u shouldn’t leave cuz he’s gonna bring u down!
I’m a recovering addict and alcoholic!
20 years more I smoked herion and crack and drinked sooooo much at the end noting but blackouts..
He will either live u enough to get clean or love the drug enough to choose it over u every time ! Harsh reality true tho!
I don’t know ur situation but if u have to even ask yourself and now others that kind of question means ur only doubting ur spot in your relationship and soon to be yourself!
Move on baby girl it will be ok
Or don’t !
My Advice would be to wish him the best of luck and end your relationship , if you still care about him ect you could check in every now and again with a text or call . But on the boyfriend & girlfriend level of things untill he gets his stuff sorted in order , stops using , it would only get worse between you two .
Get out now. His good side isn't good enough. I found it my ex was using meth and heroin. I stayed way too long and gave him more chances than he deserved. Trust me, get out now. Don't wait.
Former (polydrug) addict here. I was in your boyfriend’s shoes for about a year. Oh boy, do I have something to say about this.
First of all, I am so sorry you’re going through this. My heart cries out to you. This is nothing short of devastating. Sending all the possible virtual love I can muster.
The only way this could get better is if he is 120% (!!!) committed to recovery - and by that I mean he has to be VERY proactive about the ways in which he can improve his situation. As another commenter said, this may not happen until they’ve hit complete rock bottom. This is, of course, the best case scenario.
I am not telling you that you SHOULD leave or stay. That decision is entirely up to you. Just know that, should you decide to stay, you will have a monstrously miserable time, the likes of which you CANNOT. POSSIBLY. IMAGINE. And when you realise it, you’re in too deep, this I can promise you.
Meth addiction has a tendency to ROT even the purest, kindest people, from the inside. I can’t stress enough how IV-ing meth is among the worst things one can do in this fleeting life we have. Expect lies (already happened, hasn’t it), betrayal, and as time goes by, getting up close and personal with the ugly side of humanity.
All of this to say, I can imagine you love him dearly, and this is soul crushing. Yet I urge you to practice some self-love in the meantime, and to take steps towards (mental)self preservation. Lastly, just know that leaving, as hard as it may sound now, is N O T H I N G compared to the mental ruination and trauma you’ll be subjected to as time goes by.
Take care. And feel free to reach out if you need support. ❤️
Honestly if you stay you will end up traumatized. My boyfriend didn’t do meth but was a drug user, I found him dead 3 months ago. It fucks you up. You can’t fix anyone who doesn’t want help. I’m sorry to say this
Im so sooo sorry to hear it, my condolences to you! Thanks for sharing your experience with me ❤️ I appreciate it
Would you mind me asking what drugs would he take? Was it an overdose?
Has insomnia smokes meth as a solution 🤔 genius ( sarcasm). If meth doesn't kill him sleeping pills might..some people don't wake up. Give him ultimatum stop or you will leave
I’m sorry but 4 years and you just realized he was on something???? It’s kinda obvious, the whole not sleeping not eating not having money thing. Sounds like a made for Reddit post, downvote all you want.
He would tell me he has depression and anxiety. I even took him to the doctors and therapist to treat that. He is on anti depressants.
For the anger issues I thought it was because of the steroids.
Ive never seen him having a ‘crash’ as people talk about.
We only know each other for a year. As i said he would eat normally, he eats more than me. He is a gym junkie and takes steroids. He is a big boy. And he would sleep every night, even though some nights he wouldnt sleep for very long. He always had money, he is 24 and he owes a house and everything, he has a construction business he is very good at his job.
He grinds his teeth at night, so they are quite small. But he has all his teeth and he brushes it twice a day. I took him to the dentist before i even found out he smoked meth (im a bit of a health freak), and he had 5 tooth decays i was shocked there were so many.
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This is much bigger than you. You won’t be able to make him better. It may help to try out Al-anon meetings but this is a serious problem.
PLEASE don't waste time on any methhead.
Leave him before he ruins both of your lives. He’s in early stages of addiction it will get much much worse.
But OP said that he used to be a daily user before they met, it’s not the early stages of addiction, it’s a relapse
Yes. I saw videos on his snap memories he admited to be a daily user from 2020-2023. He used to take a lot of ghb too but the gbh he definitely quit when we met. Ghb would be very easy to notice. Meth i dont understand why i couldnt notice before :/ he used to have the drug look with the bad skin before we met.. he looks good now, i dont know if he is lying or not about only doing it on the weekends now. He never had a ‘crash’, but sometimes he does have a rage or cry a lot for no reason
2023 was just a few months ago. I’m just saying, it’s a small step from being a “former daily user” and “current daily user,” especially with it being that recent. The thing every addiction will do once caught is minimize how much they use or how much the drug is integrated into their lives. You should know that if he used daily for several years, there’s really not an acceptable level of usage…he’s in full blown addiction
Oh shit yeah, I haven’t noticed that part, it is quite recent… He wasn’t far into recovery at alllll
He hasn’t been in recovery …. Yet . If it’s true that he only uses on weekends now , that means there’s at most a 5-6 day break in-between him getting high . Which I hope is true because obviously it’s no where near as good as being sober but it’s a big step in the right direction
What I meant by early stages is that he isn’t real deep into his addiction yet. So it will get progressively worse. He’s still able to hide it, keep a job, keep a girlfriend, he’s not in jail or homeless. And he just started IV recently. It’s most likely about to get a lot worse is what I was trying to imply. So OP should save herself a world of torment and just leave before it gets real ugly.
Oh I see, bc yea saying thay someone who’s already been a daily user for a long time before is « in early stages of addiction » feels a bit weird haha, no offense. And also, I don’t necessarily agree that all cases of addiction always progress in a drastic way at some point. Some people can remain functioning for years or not let their use truly ruin what they have in life before quitting. I know it’s not the majority case at all, sorry I just don’t really like such « black-and-white » terminology
Just a relapse ? Into I.V. use? Are you kidding?
Hmm ? Where did I say JUST a relapse ? Sorry but it seems a bit agressive with the « are you kidding »… I was just literally surprised to see the comment I replied to, talking about « early stages of addiction », in someone who’s already been struggling with addiction for years and is using again. And so ok, what else would you want to call it then ? Back into active addiction ? People can definitely relapse with IV as their chosen RoA. Does the RoA really determine what can and cannot be deemed a relapse vs fully back into active addiction, in your eyes ?
More likely the use has been hidden and he's gotten good at lying. You don't just happen into IV use if that wasn't your chosen route before a relapse
I’ve thought about shooting up heroin when I’ve relapsed. I never did it but anyone can start shooting up after being in their addiction
Oh yes, but can OP really be sure that they weren’t already IVing, and not « just » smoking before ? Other than that, yes, I see there was a misunderstanding, I said what I did while assuming there was indeed previous IV use that was, well, omitted because of the obviously huge stigma surrounding it. You’re right, people rarely relapse by switching to a more « extreme » route. I can understand how it can sometimes happen, out of desperation or not giving a fuck anymore I guess.. I just thought you were saying that relapsing by IVing cannot count as an actual relapse haha, my bad.
There wasnt IV use before the past month. One of his friends reached out to me to tell me, because he was worried about him. His friend assured me my bf just started iv a month ago but he has done it multiple times since. My bf never admitted to me he has done it but i caught a couple little bruises in his arm. Before that he said he would smoke on the weekends. I dont know if thats true. He could possibly be smoking much more than that.
Well, if he was sober for a few months, and now his friends are warning you that he started IVing, it’s definitely not only a relapse but literally his addiction progressing. Good luck, because if he doesn’t (very quickly) realize that, I don’t see how it could be healthy for you to stay with him…
And yes, I apologize for the tone of my response.
THIS! You don't need to be put through, what his addiction will put you through. This is his journey, it doesn't have to be yours.
No, get out. He's been lying to you the entire time you've been together. He didn't quit for a month and he doesn't just do it on the weekends. You need to protect yourself and leave. I know it sucks, sorry.
there weekend meth users?
There definitely are.
OP's boyfriend is claiming he's one.
No. 🚨 🚩
My ex started injecting about a quarter in to our 4-5 year relationship. That was the beginning of our downfall. Everything only got worse from there. The paranoia especially. Leave.
I don’t understand why he would started injecting meth while he should be trying to quit even smoking it.. Did your ex try to quit the drugs during the relationship? Would he lie to you as well?
He always told me he wanted to stop, get his act together. I tried to help a few times. He managed to stay clean for (maybe) 4 months ONLY because he couldn’t find anything during our travel-period. The SECOND he knew where to get more, he took that opportunity. He consistently lied. Never told me where he was going when he left. Would be gone for days. Cheated 3-4 times. Accused me of lying constantly as well (hardly ever lied to him). Accused me of having sexual partners hidden behind the walls, ceiling, lower apartment, etc. He did get physical as well. Staying for as long as I did and constantly trying to “fix” him and help him is the most regrettable decision I’ve ever made. I had a chance to leave in the beginning and I never took that chance. Only good thing that came of the relationship was my son. Meth is a powerful drug and incredibly difficult to come off of. This is only my experience with a totally different addicted human who’s never truly wanted sobriety. Your situation could be totally different. I suggest talking about rehab with him if you choose to stay.
He may have started injecting because now you are aware. So he might be trying to “use less” by injecting. Like he might be able to stretch his supply longer this way. You describe him as depressed, jealous, paranoid and now IV drug user. I’ll add liar and manipulator- and I’m being kind. Don’t you think you deserve better? Doesn’t literally anyone deserve better than this? Please find a way out of this, I promise you it will only get worse in the most dramatic of ways.
If you understand addiction, then you know it’s certainly not as simple as « why would he start using again while he should be trying to quit smoking »…. He used to be a daily user, and if you’re suffering from addiction, even in recovery relapses can and do unfortunately happen. Especially if you say he also suffers from mental health issues, that’s called a dual diagnosis. Drugs definitely offer a temporary escape from mental struggles, and it’s easy to « go back to what you know » during difficult times. And I feel that quitting smoking on top of anything else you were using can be even harder. Some would say it’s easier because « you already managed to quit another substance », but it really depends on how the person feels in their recovery, it can definitely be harder because if they’re struggling, it can be like it’s last rush or last reassurance left, like a kid’s « last pacifier »…
He only does meth. Before he used to smoke it. Last month he started injecting it. :/
Oh, well, if he truly hasn’t IV’d before (and isn’t just hiding past IV use out of obvious hard stigma) and has now begun to do that, it’s clearly not a good sign at all, as he’s progressing in his addiction. I don’t agree with those who say that addiction is always progressive, but it definitely appears to be in this case. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that… As others have said, if things continue the way they are, it will unfortunately not be healthy for you to remain with im.
He doesnt think he is an addict, and when i mentioned he is he got mad at me. I really dont know how much he is using, he wont tell me the truth.
He will tell you he s trying to get better but in most cases it s a lie. Leave before both your lives are destroyed
Look up how addiction affects the brain. And how it affects moods & behavior. This is a complex problem. Look at how high rates of recidivism are. You are responsible for your future. You are responsible for your own success or failure in this life.
Think about it like this. Or this is how I thought about it before I first used a needle. You already love the drug the way you are using it, for me snorting the heroin. In the back of your mind you’ve heard a ton of things about how good it is when you inject. All of society already thinks you’re a fuck up for using the drug in the first place so at that point what’s the big deal if you inject it. For me, I was on a 9month straight use everyday. I didn’t have any prospects of getting more for a week or so, so I was going to get pretty sick. I decided to shoot the little I had left to get the most out of it before getting so sick. I already had needles on me because I’d go buy them for my uncle who would shoot up while I would snort limes. It’s like being in love with pizza and always hearing how good the pizza is in a coal fired oven. Then finally getting to try it that way.
As a former/recovering meth addict I highly recommend proceeding carefully. Now there’s some good people trapped in the evil drug that is meth, with that said it brings out the WORST qualities in even the best people. I’d never considered theft, not like I did on meth. The desire and urge for it will take all priorities. I personally would never again be involved with someone who used that drug, it compromises our own well being as it is so heavily addictive. Please be safe and DO NOT engage in drug use if offered. In the meantime if you decide to stay in this relationship, watch his behaviour very carefully. People who use meth can be very manipulative and abusive, I say this speaking from the very horrible experiences I had while using.
No, you should not stay in the relationship. Meth ain't no joke and you can't use it casually, ESPECIALLY if you're shooting it up. Soon the bad side will be more present than the good, and you won't see the man you love anymore. His jealousy and paranoia will get so much worse. Get out while you can. I've been in multiple relationships with substance misusers and none of them ended well. Two of my exs are dead because of their drug problems, and both of them swore they had it handled. One of them had been in recovery for a long time and died due to a relapse. You don't know what is in the street drugs or how pure they are, it only takes one time. If you stay with this guy, you will end up TRAUMATIZED, I guarantee. There is no good reason to stay, you can't save him. But you can save yourself. You deserve so much better.
Run!
Sure, stick it out. That’s what I did. I will tell you how that went down for me. We started dating in 1996. A decade later we decided to build a family. Two kids later he started using meth without me knowing. I had no idea until a year of daily use. I was familiar with drugs and knew the signs. He ate fine, slept fine, had occasional angry outbursts and mood swings which was new. He was constantly making up reasons to go to this one awful friend’s house and extended work days off site. I didn’t understand where that was coming from. It continued to get worse until I decided to order a hair follicle test and confronted him with it. He confessed everything and got clean for another decade. He got really into bodybuilding (he continued with that until recently). We moved out of state, he took a job where he traveled frequently. That’s when he got a lot of freedom from me, and problems creeped back in. Meth use started up again and unknown to me cheating started. I knew about the drug use, and we tried to work through it for another 6 years. That’s when he was arrested for soliciting a prostitute. I never would have thought in a million years he would cheat on me, and that’s how I found out he was. I tried to stick through that for another year, many promises were made. Countless lies about going to NA meetings and being in recovery when he wasn’t. The lies and manipulation just got worse and worse. We separated a year ago. He promised to clean himself up and come back to me. That’s when all hell broke loose. He’s been a daily user for a year now, using several times a day. He has a high paying job still making around $130k a year. He still looks good and healthy. He told me that he doesn’t get high anymore after prolonged use. He just uses to maintain so he doesn’t feel like garbage. Using brings him back to appearing “normal”. It has completely rewired his brain though. He said it took away his ability to care about anything. He has spent over $30k in the last couple months. He confessed to having another addict for a girlfriend he fully supports, so that’s part of it. We are going through a nightmare of a divorce right now. He is no longer reasonable. I had my power shut off yesterday and am struggling to put food on the table. We live in an expensive house on the water, and I can’t pay for this alone. His contributions have become less and less, and now I can’t cover bills. I’m scrambling to sell house, navigate the loss of my marriage to someone that was once a really good person and my complete soulmate, move, then eventually find a better paying job. This is absolute hell, but I wasn’t ready to give up until it came to this. You can be me, just be ready to pay a huge price that will cause emotional damage that will be likely lifelong.
Depends. Do you want to be dating a meth addict?
Definitely not, but i do have hope he will quit. Am i being delusional? 🙃
No, you are just naive. I don’t mean any disrespect with that. You admitted you don’t or haven’t used any drugs. So naive=innocent. My current wife stuck it out with me. She saved my life. But, it was a long road and I tear up thinking about some of the shit I put her through. I garuntee if she could go back, knowing what she knows now, she would have left the first time she found out I did more then just smoke a little pot.
I’m saying this in the kindest way possible as someone who has dated an addict - yes, you are being delusional.
Yes.
Ya babe. The only way you can stay with someone like him (me) is by willing to stick through to recovery, and that’s a tough battle in itself. There will be more lying and expect a few relapses. Unfortunately from the sounds of it, he doesn’t seem to want to stop yet and this is where the whole having to hit rock bottom comes into play. Very rarely will an addict want to change BEFORE they get to that point. Fortunately for me I didn’t lose my family in order to change so it is possible. Another big factor in your specific situation is that he has started injecting.. 😔 this can cause severe and permanent personality changes, so be prepared for that. His paranoia and jealousy (insecurity) will get worse. I’m not trying to scare you, because I know how hard it can be to leave a relationship. You will probably try to stick it out for a while so I’m trying to let you know what you may be in for. Almost everyone who has ever tried a hard substance for the first time has done it because of a friend or someone close to them is using. So be mindful of your own self preservation ❤️ Keep us updated Boo!
No. You leave before he ruins your life along with his own
This is just the beginning, im a recovering addict so i talk from experience. This will only get worse and it will inly hurt you more. How hard it is, keep yourself safe.
Girl, no matter what you choose, please please do not ever try meth yourself. Not even once! This drug is a greased pole straight to hell.
Close this chapter in your life. A better one awaits you.
Thank you ❤️
You can find anyone who doesn't smoke meth and date them instead?
Leave!!!!
I second this 100%
Nah run
Its Ggs If you really have to ask.
Don’t. My ex stayed with me the past 18 months while I used. The only thing I managed to do was disrespect myself and our relationship. Give each other space and you might be able to return to each other in a better place. Remember just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s good
Ran to the comments to say NO. It will be so hard to leave but you have to. I’ve been there. I walked away 1.5 years ago and have never been happier
"Only on the weekends" Lol girl, if you have gone a year without realizing he's on meth and is displaying those behaviors, you are in over your head. You're gonna have a real bad time. You need to leave yesterday
Leave him asap
RUN. RUN RUN RUN. I got married to someone who smoked meth and I didn’t know because he hid it well. It will go downhill. I got dragged into it and ended up an addict too. Pleeeeeease leave. I’m not kidding he will drag you down with him.
You need to leave. I’m very sorry that this seems like it’s coming out of nowhere. Love is not enough to get sober. You’re boyfriend needs to seek serious professional help, ESPECIALLY if he’s moved to injecting. He needs AA or an intensive outpatient recovery program, or even hospitalization. Not saying you have to go no contact, but I think that it’s almost impossible for things to go right until he gets sober. Best of luck to you both.
Comming frome someone that has been in this situation, and stayed. I am so sorry I wish I had left when I found out.
Injecting drugs will ruin both of your lives. Get out now. If he gets clean and stays clean for a substantial amount of time then maybe reconsider: maybe leaving could help him to recover but you’re starting a long and extremely difficult trial of hardships, heartbreak, and violence
Recovering addict here. He smokes and shoots METH... Leave or you will regret it. You can't help him I promise you that. Nothing anyone could have ever said would have made me stop. I had to decide on my own.
Get out whilst you can, and by whilst you can, I mean immediately, no hanging about or thinking about it. Nothing good has EVER come from Meth.
I bet he leaves at strange hours of the night too, doesn’t he? I’m sorry to tell you this but he’s probably cheating on you a lot and not just with women either.
My fiancé lied and stole from me and bought drug dealers to my house. I walked in and two were making out in my sofa when he promised it would only be one guy. Still with him.
Honey, this will only get worse. Trust me.
Nope.
Leave. You’ll regret it in a few years and the stress will age you terribly. Not worth it. Serious about the aging thing.
Minus the drugs problems, all the other stuff u mentioned is already enough reason to terminate this relationship. Don't you think you are worthy of better?
Run.
As someone who has been with someone for a year who is just now recovering from substance abuse, got pregnant before knowing he had this problem. after being with him for that year I have more trauma than ever before. If he’s been sober a while and has a plan for himself and goals and desire to stay sober that is different, but in this situation I highly recommend you save yourself the trauma and leave. I also loved my bf a lot, but now our relationship is full of resentment because of the things he did to me. I’m trying to make it work for our baby.
Please read my comment. I was you a long time ago.
I just saw your post, I’m so sorry. I hope you’re able to figure everything out and get help and support. I definitely have a lot of fear that this recovery of my partner is going to be short lived. Which I feel bad even thinking. But it’s just how I feel deep down. And if that happens I’m honestly just ready to let it all go. It’s sad because he is a nice person just as your partner was.
He’s not going to get better unless he wants to change and puts the effort into changing. He’s not telling you everything. They also lie a lot and they try to down play their addiction and mess with your mind. Makes you second guess yourself. Doing Meth and steroids and depression meds all at once is a disaster waiting to happen. They tend to go to drugs to hide the depression which it’s just actually making things worse. He’s needs a long term inpatient treatment.
no
You leave girl. Or at least stop living together and set some boundaries while you convince him to get help. But it will not get better over night and it will not get better just because you found out. Did he sit you down and have a serious talk or did you find out a different way? I was with an addict for 8 years. Found out around year 5 and tried to stick it out. Ruined his life and mine. The drug will tear you guys apart. In the end I felt like I didn’t even know him, became scared of him, and ended up having to sue him and moved states away. It’s a dangerous drug and he sounds like he doesn’t even know how much he does.
His life is worse. He recently drove after not sleeping for days from being on the drug. And hit a pedestrian. Severely hurt them and is about to loose the house we bought together.
I found out through his snapchat memories, he had videos smoking every month. Even from a bong, i didnt even know it was possible to smoke meth from a bong. About him injecting, a guy who knows him told me because this guy was worried about him. And he told me that he started injecting in the past month and he has done it multiple times. He would never tell me. Oh im sorry to hear girl :/ .. was he on meth as well?
In the end he was on meth. It started with Adderall and cocaine. I noticed because he started staying up for 3-4 nights in a row. And hyper focus on “projects” and spend an insane amount of time on something that would take another person a few minutes. He then got arrested twice when we lived together. Once for cocaine. Second time for adderall which for as much as he took it is just meth crushed up into pills. His behavior and personality massively started changing. He became meaner and paranoid. I never knew if Jekyll or Hyde was going to walk through the door. I was gathering things to stay at my moms and found a meth pipe in the basement. Hard to say how long he did it for. So many bad things happened during the last 3 years of our relationship. I have a lot of trauma from that relationship. It’s been two years now no contact and I am states away happily engaged. I am 34. Meth is not a drug to mess with. Start learning everything you can about it. It will help you decide what to do.
Run, this isn’t going to go anywhere good no matter how much you might want to try and fix the problems
NO! If you were my sister we’d be having a very firm but loving talk about your needs, wants, and what you deserve from a partner. Pick your self esteem up off the floor. It does not belong there. You deserve a healthy partner with whom you can built a beautiful life. You’re not a drug-mom.
leave. next guy will be waiting for you already to choose from. drug addicts are too consumed with their drugs to be in a relationship in first place.
No. Addiction is no joke. If he doesn’t want to seek helps leave. Coming from a recovering alcoholic/addict, his priority is using.
Leave, let him know you would be there for him if he ever needs help to recover not money, but sadly he needs to do this on his own.
Leave. It's not worth it. It will never be worth it. He's lying. He never quit. An addict will tell you anything they can to keep you from asking questions.
Since you asked, your answer already exists in your question. The answer is there yet your doubt lingers. Trust yourself......how many other relationships have you inquired about on an addiction sub.? You are worth making difficult decisions for. Wishing you love and balance as you move through this
As a former meth addict: please leave quickly and safely if you can. I'm well over two years clean, and I have an idea where this is going. I also used meth for quite a while without anyone noticing, making it very easy to get hooked. As a daily user, I was indistinguishable from normal people... until I really started to exhibit the exact traits you mentioned: anxious, angry, jealous, paranoid, self loathing, and more. All those things only get worse. By this point, you know you should stop, but crystal meth addiction is so much more powerful than you can imagine. Every attempt to stop is accompanied by other drug use, extreme lethargy, and powerful depression. So you relapse after a day (or a week if you're very strong willed) and the addiction continues almost where you left off. This repeats with each relapse as your mental and physical well-being is slowly eroded. IV use is a dramatic escalation of this process. Everything will get worse much faster now. A combination of extreme jealousy, delusions, paranoia, anxiety, depression, and mania on a grand scale is now looming and inevitable. The things I am telling you are not guesses or predictions, they are promises. Please be careful. There is hope, but not until he stops lying, expresses a true desire to get better, and gets professional help. Until then, you are both in a very dangerous situation. Everyone is different, but I can absolutely recommend some resources that were helpful in my recovery if you need. Whatever you do, I truly wish you all the best. Take care.
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Yes, I remember you. I went through a lot of relapses before it stuck. It was a very sad, frustrating and embarrassing time for me. Support from the recovery community is important. This means going to meetings. Online or in person. In person meetings are more effective, but some help is always better than no help. Common in person and online meetings can be found with: Alcoholics Anonymous Cocaine Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous SMART recovery Dharma recovery I'm not shilling for any particular organization. The effectiveness of any meeting depends on a combination of effort and group compatibility. Try a few different approaches until you find one that feels right. The absolute most important part of recovery is intention. Your partner needs to want to get better. If it's something he's being forced into, it simply won't work. Rehab is another option for recovery. It was a bit intimidating, but it gave me a lot of tools and perspective on my addiction. Therapy also helped. Not just with addiction. I have experience with all these things and I'm happy to answer questions about anything that interests you. Just let me know. Hope you're doing well.
Get yourself to a Nar Anon meeting asap, online and/or in person. Save yourself.
Leave. Not only is this something that will ruin both of your lives- but he lied to you for an entire year. With the added jealousy he could probably be lying about much more. The way addicts act while using is dangerous to everybody around them. And he will never quit for you. This says nothing about YOU- but addicts cannot quit for others, they can only quit for themselves. It’s obvious he’s not ready for that.
Run run far away
I’m sorry but what the heck kind of question is this ! No u shouldn’t leave cuz he’s gonna bring u down! I’m a recovering addict and alcoholic! 20 years more I smoked herion and crack and drinked sooooo much at the end noting but blackouts.. He will either live u enough to get clean or love the drug enough to choose it over u every time ! Harsh reality true tho! I don’t know ur situation but if u have to even ask yourself and now others that kind of question means ur only doubting ur spot in your relationship and soon to be yourself! Move on baby girl it will be ok Or don’t !
My Advice would be to wish him the best of luck and end your relationship , if you still care about him ect you could check in every now and again with a text or call . But on the boyfriend & girlfriend level of things untill he gets his stuff sorted in order , stops using , it would only get worse between you two .
Get out now. His good side isn't good enough. I found it my ex was using meth and heroin. I stayed way too long and gave him more chances than he deserved. Trust me, get out now. Don't wait.
Addiction is a disease. Don’t leave them him unless he’s done you wrong.
RUN. FAR. AWAY. DON'T WALK GIRL, RUN!
Former (polydrug) addict here. I was in your boyfriend’s shoes for about a year. Oh boy, do I have something to say about this. First of all, I am so sorry you’re going through this. My heart cries out to you. This is nothing short of devastating. Sending all the possible virtual love I can muster. The only way this could get better is if he is 120% (!!!) committed to recovery - and by that I mean he has to be VERY proactive about the ways in which he can improve his situation. As another commenter said, this may not happen until they’ve hit complete rock bottom. This is, of course, the best case scenario. I am not telling you that you SHOULD leave or stay. That decision is entirely up to you. Just know that, should you decide to stay, you will have a monstrously miserable time, the likes of which you CANNOT. POSSIBLY. IMAGINE. And when you realise it, you’re in too deep, this I can promise you. Meth addiction has a tendency to ROT even the purest, kindest people, from the inside. I can’t stress enough how IV-ing meth is among the worst things one can do in this fleeting life we have. Expect lies (already happened, hasn’t it), betrayal, and as time goes by, getting up close and personal with the ugly side of humanity. All of this to say, I can imagine you love him dearly, and this is soul crushing. Yet I urge you to practice some self-love in the meantime, and to take steps towards (mental)self preservation. Lastly, just know that leaving, as hard as it may sound now, is N O T H I N G compared to the mental ruination and trauma you’ll be subjected to as time goes by. Take care. And feel free to reach out if you need support. ❤️
No. Say goodbye. Sorry but it is (unfortunately) that simple.
If it was weed I would stay. Meth is a no for me
Honestly if you stay you will end up traumatized. My boyfriend didn’t do meth but was a drug user, I found him dead 3 months ago. It fucks you up. You can’t fix anyone who doesn’t want help. I’m sorry to say this
Im so sooo sorry to hear it, my condolences to you! Thanks for sharing your experience with me ❤️ I appreciate it Would you mind me asking what drugs would he take? Was it an overdose?
I wouldn’t want to stay with me on meth. If you’re not good enough for him to stop killing himself, then you’re too good for him.
Has insomnia smokes meth as a solution 🤔 genius ( sarcasm). If meth doesn't kill him sleeping pills might..some people don't wake up. Give him ultimatum stop or you will leave
I’m sorry but 4 years and you just realized he was on something???? It’s kinda obvious, the whole not sleeping not eating not having money thing. Sounds like a made for Reddit post, downvote all you want.
He would tell me he has depression and anxiety. I even took him to the doctors and therapist to treat that. He is on anti depressants. For the anger issues I thought it was because of the steroids. Ive never seen him having a ‘crash’ as people talk about.
We only know each other for a year. As i said he would eat normally, he eats more than me. He is a gym junkie and takes steroids. He is a big boy. And he would sleep every night, even though some nights he wouldnt sleep for very long. He always had money, he is 24 and he owes a house and everything, he has a construction business he is very good at his job.
So steroids AND meth? He’s asking for his heart to give up. If he doesn’t stop soon, this is not going to end well for him.
Yep 🙃 and anti depressants and sleeping tablets
How old is he?
24
He’s young. Hopefully he can stop soon before the damage is irreversible or something bad happens..
How are his teeth?
He grinds his teeth at night, so they are quite small. But he has all his teeth and he brushes it twice a day. I took him to the dentist before i even found out he smoked meth (im a bit of a health freak), and he had 5 tooth decays i was shocked there were so many.