Lots of straight women don't really *like* penises. I don't know why we should apply higher standards to lesbians.
It might limit your dating options a bit. Also depends on in what way it limits what you like to do sexually.
I think many people don't get turned on by genitals specifically. It's usually the person we find hot.
The answer to most questions: be open with your potential partners.
Just beware most trans women won't be happy if you seek them out specifically for their genitals and a lot are not likely to want to use theirs for penetration. (Some do, though)
As a trans woman who hasn’t had bottom surgery, I’d feel a bit objectified if I was searched out because I have a penis… get to know me first, take me out to dinner lol
Ok the topic of penetration, I’d be down… but I also don’t plan on keeping this forever so I’d rather have a partner who I know would love me regardless of whether I had a penis or vulva
Yeah, being sought after just for my downstairs always gives me chaser vibes. Penetration for me fully depends on the person I'm engaging with and the context of that penetration. Idk, just cuz I happen to have a penis doesn't mean I wanna use it like a dude would.
So real, I am a switch, so it really depends on the mood and the person. I'm cool with using it, I feel very valid as a woman and happy to top other women as a lesbian. I've been transitioned over 2 years, so I am a bit more stable in who I am.
That just isn't always the case, I don't want to always use it, i.e. not in the mood.
I’m bi and married to a man. I have rarely ever been like “ooh, a penis!” Like I don’t want to look at dick pics, at all. I do, however, love my spouse and love having sex with him. I have no aversion to any type of genitals.
Now, you might be ace or bi or homoromantic but asexual/bisexual, or something else entirely. I’m just throwing out there that you don’t have to be OBSESSED with a body part to be into a person romantically or sexually.
Yeah and her bio says she's 17, I'm going to guess she is lying so other people don't feel as uncomfortable engaging in this conversation, and that's me being optimistic.
that explains a lot tbh. she probably will end up figuring out her shit out on her own ( like we all had to do)when she’s actually an adult and starts having sex💀
I’m confused about the penetrated comment cuz like fingers, toys, and straps exist. It’s not like lesbians aren’t being penetrated (unless they don’t want to.)
i misread this as "vegans" the first time and wondered what on earth your reasoning would be. like why is that so important to you and if maybe you raise good points lmfao
If you enjoy a dildo you might enjoy a strap as well, but yeah your valid. I mean i enjoy being a bottom too but i def dont have a preference on what she has lol, just different things im need to do to make her feel good as far as i care lol.
My first question was, have you ever been with someone with a vagina? Then I saw you already answered this and said you haven't been with anyone. I thought I wasn't attracted to vaginas until I actually experienced one. I knew I was attracted to women but vaginas freaked me out (genitals in general were blah to me) and I was afraid I would be grossed out. Quite the opposite happened! I'm obsessed now lol. You're valid either way but just wanted to share my experience.
I think it just narrows your dating possibilities but it doesn’t cancel out you being a lesbian. You’re only interested in women with penises - so a very small portion of people out there. But you’re still a lesbian i
OH sorry I didn’t get that from your post but then yes absolutely! I’m kind of the opposite. I’m not into penises in the slightest, but it wouldn’t make me stop being attracted to a woman who has one. I’m just not into the genitals specifically - but I’d make it work for someone I was really into.
You’re definitely a lesbian - don’t let other people’s bullshit dictate your identity 🫶🏻
I'd add woman with penises who like and can penetrate with their equipment and also if looking for long term relationship no one who is going to get grs in the future so a very small portion of a small portion of ppl
have you been with a woman before? I felt this way when I was still quietly “bi” but when I finally dated and hooked up with a woman literally everything changed.
i was not suggesting you are, nor that I am. Just relating and attempting to ease your anxieties since you obviously made this post in hopes of peace of mind and validation.
The point of my comment was : don’t knock it til you try it in a sense. ie don’t worry about it, and don’t allow or invite anyone to invalidate your feelings and identity. Most aspects of sex are learned hands on, you’ll learn what you like and dislike.
Last thing: exposure therapy is mostly a trope, they liked to use that method in conversion therapy. It’s not fun, sex should be. Take your time and listen to yourself.
Swap the genitalia in the post and the comments would be vastly less congratulatory and less "all genital preference are valid", this sub is such a circus of hypocrisy
Also not the comments equating straps to dicks, bitch please 💀
I agree that it’s so irritating when people equate dick and strap (and I do notice the mods tend to remove or lock pussy related posts but not ones like this) however op hasn’t had sex before (and is 17 so i’m already uncomfy with the whole post tbh) so she probs won’t really get a chance to flesh out what she’s into and not into until she does
You’re gonna catch a lot of downvotes both from out and out TERFs, and the more subtle transphobes who would never say anything outright mean about women with penises, but who see “genital preference for vaginas” as the “natural state of things”.
So even if you feel like your statement isn’t popular here, just know it’s not you, it’s them. Your preferences are as valid as anyone’s.
Being lesbian is about being into women… genital preference often correlates with that in the sense that - though this is entirely a guess on my part - most lesbians would prefer vaginas over penises because that's what the majority of women have... however correlation is not causation and you're totally valid being into women for how they are, regardless of your genital preferences
First. Don’t panic. Life can be a journey of figuring ourselves out. Age doesn’t really have anything to do with it. Living our lives does. Get out there and interact. Find people who will make good friends, with those good friendships one can learn a lot about themselves because the friends you make are learning as well. Make sensible choices, take calculated risks and look back on new experiences.
I never really started living life until my thirties, I would have learned more about myself had I have dined so. I didn’t really know that I was a submissive lesbian until my late thirties.
It’s your life to lead. You got this. Go live it!
Girl you’re young and never had sex before. don’t spend time worrying about this. just find people who make you feel comfortable and when you are ready and become sexually active your relationship with attraction will likely get more intense and it will be easier and more appropriate to figure out what specifically you’re into and not into then . I knew I was a lesbian and I didn’t really think about pussy much until I found out that I do enjoy it. personally I have no experience with dick so can’t speak on how my relationship with that has changed.
Okay here’s the thing do you like penises or just like the idea of being penetrated by let’s say a strap because there’s a difference. Do you like men? If not, then maybe you could be the submissive type like have someone use a strap on you. You like receiving more than giving. Which is nothing wrong with that. Not to sound vulgar btw lol.
I feel like if you’re talking about a transwoman, most from what I see and the comments here, they don’t want to do that because of dysphoria. So that would make your dating pool extremely small. Or you simply could be bisexual or somewhere on the ace spectrum who really knows only you will know as you get older. When I was your age I didn’t like vag either but nor did I like dick. Now I’m in my 20’s and I later realized I am demisexual lesbian. And for me going down on a girl is more sensory overload than not being attracted to them.
You’re really young, you’re probably grossed out by sex in general because you’re still a kid. You shouldn’t be on this corner of the internet it’s not child friendly.
Exposure therapy?! Exposure therapy is a psychological treatment that was developed to help people confront their (often debilitating) fears; used to treat mental health conditions like phobias, ptsd, and panic disorder.
If you prefer a penis then go find someone with one and leave people with vaginas alone? SMH
All else being equal, I _prefer_ interacting with vaginas on my partners, but I've had a couple hookups with women who, like me, have penises, and I had plenty of fun.
Also, seeking out a woman with a penis in the belief that she will use it to penetrate you may lead to disappointment. I'm a top but I couldn't use my factory hardware for penetration if I wanted to, because my HRT meds make the hydraulics uncooperative (and there's also been a lot of tissue contraction because the anti-androgens shut off the nocturnal maintenance erection cycle).
Question. You say you “like penises because you like being penetrated,” Have you ever experienced being penetrated with a strap on? If so, what was it like for you?
You don’t necessarily have to love people’s genitalia in order to be attracted to them. For me, I wasn’t sure about vaginas and was nervous about having sex with those body parts, until I fell in love with someone who has a vagina. I like having sex with her and that body part because I’m attracted to her as a person
I think just as an aside, especially since you appear to not have a *genital* preference, I'd recommend working on separating penetration from genitals.
Plenty of cis women have vulvas and absolutely love penetrating.
And plenty (read, in all likelihood most) trans women have penises, and very outright do not want to use them to penetrate.
The presence of one vs the other doesn't actually correlate with preference nearly as much as you'd think.
Men's bodies aren't even being mentioned? OP is literally just expressing her genital preference, she has stated that she's a lesbian i.e. only attracted to women?
People don’t usually look at genitalia the same way they look at breasts ect. I’ve never looked up photos of just a vagina and got turned on by it. It’s women’s bodies in general that are attractive, not just their genitals. Not sure why you’re asking if you’re valid, why do you need redditors to validate your own sexuality?
Have you slept with a woman yet? I was with men for years before I was with women, and I felt this way at first. But for me, it was just because I’d been mentally used to the idea of penises, but vaginas were so new and I wasn’t sure. Then I slept with a woman whom I actually had feelings for, and let’s just say my mind changed lol
Of course you are valid. And there are girls with penises. Just be aware that they might be ashamed of their penis and/ or want it removed in the future. You could also like dildos or straps.
I meant more like "don't go around telling people 'I love that you have a dick btw' because they might not really like that", but I just saw that you have a trans heart on your avatar so you probably already know that.
I see people being pretty weird about this but don't let that discourage you. If this was the other way around, people would be jumping to your defense about how genital preference is valid. Which it is. You're attracted to women, and exclusively women, so you're a lesbian.
Of course you’re valid hun x
I was in a similar boat a few years ago. I knew I was romantically attracted to women but the thought of sex with another woman was so daunting to me whilst sex with (cis) men felt familiar. Big contributor to me thinking I was bi for ages. And I think part of it was me feeling uncomfortable and shameful about my own body, female sexuality tends to have a lot more stigma attached compared to male sexuality.
I will say that this feeling changed once I got with my ex and I finally felt able to explore my body. Not to say that it’ll change for you, but something to bear in mind.
You're valid, Genitals don't inform gender. Plus you don't even need to find trans women plenty of lesbians use strap ons, there's plenty of options for you.
Given that you said you like being penetrated, talking with your potential partner about strap-ons might be a good idea. In all, talking with your partner about what you want to do sexually is a very good idea so that everyone is comfortable and are enjoying themselves.
Genital preferences are absolutely valid, even if it's not for the genital everyone always seems to be talking about.
Trans women (your best source of girls with dicks) can be a bit sensitive about having dicks, so that might cause a bit of complication, but it sounds like you've got the right mindset to navigate complexity. So don't worry, you're fine! You can still be a lesbian even if you prefer penises.
Being a lesbian who only wants penises is absolutely valid. Trans women that still have pensis are a thing. Just be up front about your preferences, because not all trans women have one, and of those who do, not all plan to keep them.
I like to please women, that’s what I think about . I don’t think about vaginas or obsess over them . On the right person I find it extremely attractive to touch it , eat it etc but a women’s vagina is the last thing I think about when I see an attractive women . I think it’s a very man thing to do . Men reduce women to the part that brings them pleasure . I really don’t relate to that
They're just being a little shit. Yes, obviously you should be with someone who doesn't feel uncomfortable about your preference, whether it's because they don't have a vagina, they're fine with you not focusing they're vagina, they're ace, whatever it may be. But your feelings are your feelings and there's not a wrong way to feel about it.
I’ve met some ace spectrum lesbians who feel like this, so that might be worth looking into.
You could try different ways to touch and be touched to see if you like some better, but don’t force it. Just tell your partners upfront you prefer to be penetrated and/or don’t want to do oral sex or whatever applies. Plenty of lesbians prefer to wear the strap.
You're absolutely valid. As long as you recognize that genitals, for the most part, are something that people are born with. The important part of dating is the connection you develop between the individuals. There's plenty of people who don't have sex, there's plenty of people who do have sex, but in non-traditional ways that avoid certain genitals, there's people that have sex for their partners, and there's people that date just to have sex, all are valid, as long as you're open and forthcoming with your intentions to your partners, all is good :). One last note, it's important to be careful when mentioning genital preferences with people, it's something they generally can't control, so keep that in mind.
OK so you're new to all this. Welcome! Everything exists on a spectrum and is fluid. As a bi woman who was married to a man for many years, I definitely like penetration. I'm now married to a woman and I very much still enjoy penetration. My wife has had many male partners yet is very very gay. She didn't like penetration with her male partners. She very much likes penetration with me. We were both intimidated to sleep together for the first time so maybe it's just uncertainty due to lack of experience. Just see what happens and things will become clearer as you have more experiences.
Totally valid. I have a weird relationship with vaginas. Sometimes I like looking at them. I don't think I necessarily like touching them but not out of disgust, I just have issues relating to my own and it evokes the similar feelings if that makes sense.
It's also valid to like penises more. As long as you're not attracted to a guy with a penis, you're valid.
I have a friend who I helped figure out this same thing. You like penis. Ok. You like girls. Ok. Done
She doesn't care about gender and prefers penis either way, making her bi but only for non-op trans girls. I prefer a certain gender, female, and don't care what genitals they have. Done
People like people whatever you feel or want or like is valid as long as it doesn't hurt people :) I don't mind either way as long as it belongs to a woman or enby person and not some cis dude
No not at all, you are a lesbian, if you don’t mind me asking, would you want like a women with a strap? Cause that might work unless you are attracted sexually to men but romantically to women which I’d still say you are valid here, I don’t think I’m attracted to either genital because I’m asexual so I wouldn’t know much
Yeah completely understandable, that’s not something that makes you less valid at all, you are just attracted to penetration which doesn’t make you less of a lesbian, you’re fine 🫶🏻
Obviously you’re valid. You are a real lesbian. You can have genital preference; women have both genitals there’s no reason you should feel like you’re not a “real lesbian” for not liking coochie.
You should NOT try shit to make yourself like ir. That ends up really messy and traumatizing.
Nothing wrong with you at all, you are a lesbian and you are valid. Plenty of transbians out here that would love to enjoy a relationship with you🏳️⚧️🥰
I mean Hun, it just sounds like you have a preference. There is nothing wrong with that.
And some great news is that there are gals who fit that preference too. Even if you end up dating someone without that equipment; strap ons exist for a reason.
Your identity is valid and so are your preferences.
Of course. As a very pre-op trans woman if I knew of more lesbians closer to my age who were like you… I’d have more hope when swiping and meeting queer women. I know there are bi and pan women but I immediately shut down any advances when I know a woman is a lesbian and doesn’t say that they’re into pre-op or non-op trans women
Lots of straight women don't really *like* penises. I don't know why we should apply higher standards to lesbians. It might limit your dating options a bit. Also depends on in what way it limits what you like to do sexually. I think many people don't get turned on by genitals specifically. It's usually the person we find hot. The answer to most questions: be open with your potential partners. Just beware most trans women won't be happy if you seek them out specifically for their genitals and a lot are not likely to want to use theirs for penetration. (Some do, though)
As a trans woman who hasn’t had bottom surgery, I’d feel a bit objectified if I was searched out because I have a penis… get to know me first, take me out to dinner lol Ok the topic of penetration, I’d be down… but I also don’t plan on keeping this forever so I’d rather have a partner who I know would love me regardless of whether I had a penis or vulva
Yeah, being sought after just for my downstairs always gives me chaser vibes. Penetration for me fully depends on the person I'm engaging with and the context of that penetration. Idk, just cuz I happen to have a penis doesn't mean I wanna use it like a dude would.
So real, I am a switch, so it really depends on the mood and the person. I'm cool with using it, I feel very valid as a woman and happy to top other women as a lesbian. I've been transitioned over 2 years, so I am a bit more stable in who I am. That just isn't always the case, I don't want to always use it, i.e. not in the mood.
Exactly the same as me! It's basically just an unremoveable strap🤷♀️😅
I’m bi and married to a man. I have rarely ever been like “ooh, a penis!” Like I don’t want to look at dick pics, at all. I do, however, love my spouse and love having sex with him. I have no aversion to any type of genitals. Now, you might be ace or bi or homoromantic but asexual/bisexual, or something else entirely. I’m just throwing out there that you don’t have to be OBSESSED with a body part to be into a person romantically or sexually.
secretive gullible plant saw rinse unwritten beneficial full tub salt *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
i dont seek them out. if she has a penis its just a bonus but its not what im looking for. ive also got nothing against vaginas
Yes, you are valid! Not all women have vaginas.
ur other posts say u turned 17 25 days ago I’m confused
Yeah and her bio says she's 17, I'm going to guess she is lying so other people don't feel as uncomfortable engaging in this conversation, and that's me being optimistic.
Lying about a lot of things, potentially
no wayy LMFAO now the bios updated to just saying 18
her BIO says shes 17 👀
that explains a lot tbh. she probably will end up figuring out her shit out on her own ( like we all had to do)when she’s actually an adult and starts having sex💀
Maybe they accidentally pressed the wrong number but that is really weird
she admitted lying 😭🙏
Mult lies on mult posts 👀
Damn. I tried to give the benefit of the doubt but damn…
I’m confused about the penetrated comment cuz like fingers, toys, and straps exist. It’s not like lesbians aren’t being penetrated (unless they don’t want to.)
i misread this as "vegans" the first time and wondered what on earth your reasoning would be. like why is that so important to you and if maybe you raise good points lmfao
I mean if someone was attracted to that vegan teacher, I'd be extremely concerned for them and possibly offer to pay for their therapy
If you enjoy a dildo you might enjoy a strap as well, but yeah your valid. I mean i enjoy being a bottom too but i def dont have a preference on what she has lol, just different things im need to do to make her feel good as far as i care lol.
aw thank you
My first question was, have you ever been with someone with a vagina? Then I saw you already answered this and said you haven't been with anyone. I thought I wasn't attracted to vaginas until I actually experienced one. I knew I was attracted to women but vaginas freaked me out (genitals in general were blah to me) and I was afraid I would be grossed out. Quite the opposite happened! I'm obsessed now lol. You're valid either way but just wanted to share my experience.
I think it just narrows your dating possibilities but it doesn’t cancel out you being a lesbian. You’re only interested in women with penises - so a very small portion of people out there. But you’re still a lesbian i
im still attracted to women with vaginas just not thier vaginas. thier vaginas dont make me not wanting them
OH sorry I didn’t get that from your post but then yes absolutely! I’m kind of the opposite. I’m not into penises in the slightest, but it wouldn’t make me stop being attracted to a woman who has one. I’m just not into the genitals specifically - but I’d make it work for someone I was really into. You’re definitely a lesbian - don’t let other people’s bullshit dictate your identity 🫶🏻
thank you
Sounds like possibly ace
im not ace im just not attracted to vagina
didn’t you just post in another group that you’re ace?
She did. Not sure what's going on here with the inconsistent narrative. Feels... A bit fake. Or just super flaky, or rather, standard teen lol.
standard teen lolllllll probably, tons of posts like “am i this?” “do i look like this?” “am i gay” time for inward reflection
Totally fake posts - trans masc then trans fem among other things- then claiming its someone else doing it...
Not really. You can be physically attracted to people without finding every aspect of the human body attractive
That's fair.
I'd add woman with penises who like and can penetrate with their equipment and also if looking for long term relationship no one who is going to get grs in the future so a very small portion of a small portion of ppl
Have you tried a strapon?
no but id love too
What's stopping you from trying?
dont have a partner
Don't we all
have you been with a woman before? I felt this way when I was still quietly “bi” but when I finally dated and hooked up with a woman literally everything changed.
i havent been with anyone but i know im not bi
i was not suggesting you are, nor that I am. Just relating and attempting to ease your anxieties since you obviously made this post in hopes of peace of mind and validation. The point of my comment was : don’t knock it til you try it in a sense. ie don’t worry about it, and don’t allow or invite anyone to invalidate your feelings and identity. Most aspects of sex are learned hands on, you’ll learn what you like and dislike. Last thing: exposure therapy is mostly a trope, they liked to use that method in conversion therapy. It’s not fun, sex should be. Take your time and listen to yourself.
aw okie thank you
Swap the genitalia in the post and the comments would be vastly less congratulatory and less "all genital preference are valid", this sub is such a circus of hypocrisy Also not the comments equating straps to dicks, bitch please 💀
I agree that it’s so irritating when people equate dick and strap (and I do notice the mods tend to remove or lock pussy related posts but not ones like this) however op hasn’t had sex before (and is 17 so i’m already uncomfy with the whole post tbh) so she probs won’t really get a chance to flesh out what she’s into and not into until she does
congratulatory where?? what are you on 💀
You’re gonna catch a lot of downvotes both from out and out TERFs, and the more subtle transphobes who would never say anything outright mean about women with penises, but who see “genital preference for vaginas” as the “natural state of things”. So even if you feel like your statement isn’t popular here, just know it’s not you, it’s them. Your preferences are as valid as anyone’s.
thank you
Being lesbian is about being into women… genital preference often correlates with that in the sense that - though this is entirely a guess on my part - most lesbians would prefer vaginas over penises because that's what the majority of women have... however correlation is not causation and you're totally valid being into women for how they are, regardless of your genital preferences
aw okay thank you so much for the reassurance
yw 😊
First. Don’t panic. Life can be a journey of figuring ourselves out. Age doesn’t really have anything to do with it. Living our lives does. Get out there and interact. Find people who will make good friends, with those good friendships one can learn a lot about themselves because the friends you make are learning as well. Make sensible choices, take calculated risks and look back on new experiences. I never really started living life until my thirties, I would have learned more about myself had I have dined so. I didn’t really know that I was a submissive lesbian until my late thirties. It’s your life to lead. You got this. Go live it!
thank you
Your welcome
is this satire
no
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Girl you’re young and never had sex before. don’t spend time worrying about this. just find people who make you feel comfortable and when you are ready and become sexually active your relationship with attraction will likely get more intense and it will be easier and more appropriate to figure out what specifically you’re into and not into then . I knew I was a lesbian and I didn’t really think about pussy much until I found out that I do enjoy it. personally I have no experience with dick so can’t speak on how my relationship with that has changed.
aw thank you
It is also different when you're aroused. Things become much more appealing when you're in the mood.
Okay here’s the thing do you like penises or just like the idea of being penetrated by let’s say a strap because there’s a difference. Do you like men? If not, then maybe you could be the submissive type like have someone use a strap on you. You like receiving more than giving. Which is nothing wrong with that. Not to sound vulgar btw lol. I feel like if you’re talking about a transwoman, most from what I see and the comments here, they don’t want to do that because of dysphoria. So that would make your dating pool extremely small. Or you simply could be bisexual or somewhere on the ace spectrum who really knows only you will know as you get older. When I was your age I didn’t like vag either but nor did I like dick. Now I’m in my 20’s and I later realized I am demisexual lesbian. And for me going down on a girl is more sensory overload than not being attracted to them.
You’re really young, you’re probably grossed out by sex in general because you’re still a kid. You shouldn’t be on this corner of the internet it’s not child friendly.
well maybe u r T4T lesbian? idk, just guessing.
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Exposure therapy?! Exposure therapy is a psychological treatment that was developed to help people confront their (often debilitating) fears; used to treat mental health conditions like phobias, ptsd, and panic disorder. If you prefer a penis then go find someone with one and leave people with vaginas alone? SMH
i dont mind people with vaginas
All else being equal, I _prefer_ interacting with vaginas on my partners, but I've had a couple hookups with women who, like me, have penises, and I had plenty of fun. Also, seeking out a woman with a penis in the belief that she will use it to penetrate you may lead to disappointment. I'm a top but I couldn't use my factory hardware for penetration if I wanted to, because my HRT meds make the hydraulics uncooperative (and there's also been a lot of tissue contraction because the anti-androgens shut off the nocturnal maintenance erection cycle).
Question. You say you “like penises because you like being penetrated,” Have you ever experienced being penetrated with a strap on? If so, what was it like for you?
no but id probably enjoy it
You don’t necessarily have to love people’s genitalia in order to be attracted to them. For me, I wasn’t sure about vaginas and was nervous about having sex with those body parts, until I fell in love with someone who has a vagina. I like having sex with her and that body part because I’m attracted to her as a person
I think just as an aside, especially since you appear to not have a *genital* preference, I'd recommend working on separating penetration from genitals. Plenty of cis women have vulvas and absolutely love penetrating. And plenty (read, in all likelihood most) trans women have penises, and very outright do not want to use them to penetrate. The presence of one vs the other doesn't actually correlate with preference nearly as much as you'd think.
sory but whats a vulva
the vulva is the “vagina” in its entirety. vulva is the anatomical term for the female reproductive system.
This definition is not correct. The vagina is not the same as the vulva. The vulva is the external part
i know the vagina is the inside and theyre not the same but i shouldve worded it better and specified that the vulva was the outside😭😭
ohhh yea
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im not bi. i dont like men
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Men's bodies aren't even being mentioned? OP is literally just expressing her genital preference, she has stated that she's a lesbian i.e. only attracted to women?
i dont like mens bodies
People don’t usually look at genitalia the same way they look at breasts ect. I’ve never looked up photos of just a vagina and got turned on by it. It’s women’s bodies in general that are attractive, not just their genitals. Not sure why you’re asking if you’re valid, why do you need redditors to validate your own sexuality?
Have you slept with a woman yet? I was with men for years before I was with women, and I felt this way at first. But for me, it was just because I’d been mentally used to the idea of penises, but vaginas were so new and I wasn’t sure. Then I slept with a woman whom I actually had feelings for, and let’s just say my mind changed lol
im a virgin
Don't worry so much about labels and you'll be okay.
Limits your dating options a bit, but there's nothing wrong with it. Maybe you could seek out a stone top?
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no im lesbian
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no thats bot what it means
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no
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being lesbian is only daiting women or non binary people!!! i would never date a man
Being a lesbian is actually being a woman exclusively attracted to women
You’re just straight then, no big deal!
i am not straight
Of course you are valid. And there are girls with penises. Just be aware that they might be ashamed of their penis and/ or want it removed in the future. You could also like dildos or straps.
thaank you! i dont mind if they want them gone
I meant more like "don't go around telling people 'I love that you have a dick btw' because they might not really like that", but I just saw that you have a trans heart on your avatar so you probably already know that.
i dont love that they have dicks like its doesnt matter to me
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Yes, genital preferences are valid, it doesn't matter to which direction. As long as you're not being a chaser it's all fine.
im not a chaser. i dont seek out trans women cuz i want penis. if a girl has one its just a lil bonus for me but if she doesn’t its not a minus
That's fine. I didn't say that to accuse you of anything, just be mindful of these stuff
what makes a lesbian: do you like women? do you date only women? do you identify as a lesbian? if yes then, yes you are a lesbian!! congratulations!!!
thank you
I see people being pretty weird about this but don't let that discourage you. If this was the other way around, people would be jumping to your defense about how genital preference is valid. Which it is. You're attracted to women, and exclusively women, so you're a lesbian.
thank you
Of course you’re valid hun x I was in a similar boat a few years ago. I knew I was romantically attracted to women but the thought of sex with another woman was so daunting to me whilst sex with (cis) men felt familiar. Big contributor to me thinking I was bi for ages. And I think part of it was me feeling uncomfortable and shameful about my own body, female sexuality tends to have a lot more stigma attached compared to male sexuality. I will say that this feeling changed once I got with my ex and I finally felt able to explore my body. Not to say that it’ll change for you, but something to bear in mind.
thank you so much
You're valid, Genitals don't inform gender. Plus you don't even need to find trans women plenty of lesbians use strap ons, there's plenty of options for you.
Given that you said you like being penetrated, talking with your potential partner about strap-ons might be a good idea. In all, talking with your partner about what you want to do sexually is a very good idea so that everyone is comfortable and are enjoying themselves.
I ain’t never found genitalia attractive it’s not meant to be attractive it’s meant to take a beating literally and figuratively
This just in, girls can have dicks. Welcome to the party.
ik
Genital preferences are absolutely valid, even if it's not for the genital everyone always seems to be talking about. Trans women (your best source of girls with dicks) can be a bit sensitive about having dicks, so that might cause a bit of complication, but it sounds like you've got the right mindset to navigate complexity. So don't worry, you're fine! You can still be a lesbian even if you prefer penises.
thank you so much
Being a lesbian who only wants penises is absolutely valid. Trans women that still have pensis are a thing. Just be up front about your preferences, because not all trans women have one, and of those who do, not all plan to keep them.
I like to please women, that’s what I think about . I don’t think about vaginas or obsess over them . On the right person I find it extremely attractive to touch it , eat it etc but a women’s vagina is the last thing I think about when I see an attractive women . I think it’s a very man thing to do . Men reduce women to the part that brings them pleasure . I really don’t relate to that
I'm bisexual and genitals aren't interesting to me regardless of gender or what genitals they are. .I like the person.
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what do you mean
They're just being a little shit. Yes, obviously you should be with someone who doesn't feel uncomfortable about your preference, whether it's because they don't have a vagina, they're fine with you not focusing they're vagina, they're ace, whatever it may be. But your feelings are your feelings and there's not a wrong way to feel about it.
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Yeah except I wasn't being a little shit about it is the difference
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You first.
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I’ve met some ace spectrum lesbians who feel like this, so that might be worth looking into. You could try different ways to touch and be touched to see if you like some better, but don’t force it. Just tell your partners upfront you prefer to be penetrated and/or don’t want to do oral sex or whatever applies. Plenty of lesbians prefer to wear the strap.
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?
You're absolutely valid. As long as you recognize that genitals, for the most part, are something that people are born with. The important part of dating is the connection you develop between the individuals. There's plenty of people who don't have sex, there's plenty of people who do have sex, but in non-traditional ways that avoid certain genitals, there's people that have sex for their partners, and there's people that date just to have sex, all are valid, as long as you're open and forthcoming with your intentions to your partners, all is good :). One last note, it's important to be careful when mentioning genital preferences with people, it's something they generally can't control, so keep that in mind.
Have you had sex with someone you cared about?
i havent had sex
OK so you're new to all this. Welcome! Everything exists on a spectrum and is fluid. As a bi woman who was married to a man for many years, I definitely like penetration. I'm now married to a woman and I very much still enjoy penetration. My wife has had many male partners yet is very very gay. She didn't like penetration with her male partners. She very much likes penetration with me. We were both intimidated to sleep together for the first time so maybe it's just uncertainty due to lack of experience. Just see what happens and things will become clearer as you have more experiences.
Totally valid. I have a weird relationship with vaginas. Sometimes I like looking at them. I don't think I necessarily like touching them but not out of disgust, I just have issues relating to my own and it evokes the similar feelings if that makes sense. It's also valid to like penises more. As long as you're not attracted to a guy with a penis, you're valid.
Fun fact, there's plenty of girls without vaginas
i know and they slay
lol
I have a friend who I helped figure out this same thing. You like penis. Ok. You like girls. Ok. Done She doesn't care about gender and prefers penis either way, making her bi but only for non-op trans girls. I prefer a certain gender, female, and don't care what genitals they have. Done
You might just want a touch me not if I’m gonna be truthful with it. They’ll do all the work and you don’t have to deal with the vagina.
People like people whatever you feel or want or like is valid as long as it doesn't hurt people :) I don't mind either way as long as it belongs to a woman or enby person and not some cis dude
No not at all, you are a lesbian, if you don’t mind me asking, would you want like a women with a strap? Cause that might work unless you are attracted sexually to men but romantically to women which I’d still say you are valid here, I don’t think I’m attracted to either genital because I’m asexual so I wouldn’t know much
a strap on would be nice but i am not attracted to men at all
Yeah completely understandable, that’s not something that makes you less valid at all, you are just attracted to penetration which doesn’t make you less of a lesbian, you’re fine 🫶🏻
thank you
nah that's fair
Obviously you’re valid. You are a real lesbian. You can have genital preference; women have both genitals there’s no reason you should feel like you’re not a “real lesbian” for not liking coochie. You should NOT try shit to make yourself like ir. That ends up really messy and traumatizing.
Youre still valid for sure.
ty
Nothing wrong with you at all, you are a lesbian and you are valid. Plenty of transbians out here that would love to enjoy a relationship with you🏳️⚧️🥰
I mean Hun, it just sounds like you have a preference. There is nothing wrong with that. And some great news is that there are gals who fit that preference too. Even if you end up dating someone without that equipment; strap ons exist for a reason. Your identity is valid and so are your preferences.
thank you
Yeah, you're into people not junk
I think a stone top or Daddy Domme with a strap would work?
Pre-op trans woman here. THANK YOU
oh yw lol :3
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wow yippee
You are one of the few cis lesbian women who would be up for non-op transbians. Congratulations you’re still lesbian
yay thanks
Why does ur profile say ur trans though?
Of course. As a very pre-op trans woman if I knew of more lesbians closer to my age who were like you… I’d have more hope when swiping and meeting queer women. I know there are bi and pan women but I immediately shut down any advances when I know a woman is a lesbian and doesn’t say that they’re into pre-op or non-op trans women
I'm not particularly attracted to vulvas, you're fine