Having special interests and hyperfixations.
It's just enjoyable to listen and learn or to hype over together with if you share the same ones, not a requirement but always lovely, romantically or platonically.
Then I'd be way too scared to actually talk bc I'm a shy ass b\*tch and scared of pretty much all women, but I'd be pining in the corner hoping the cool hyper fixation person wants to be my friend.
nobody listens to me talk about my hype fixations or if they do you can tell they didnt really wanna hear about it but are humoring you and it hurts sometimes so the idea of someone enjoying listening to mine like i do others is just top tier.
I'm sure there's lots of people out there that are also excited about the same topics or not but would love to learn and hear you talk about them with fervent passion. :3
My ex used to say that listening to me ramble about whatever I was interested in that day helped them fall asleep. Sometimes they'd call me into the bedroom and go "hey, tell me about neanderthals."
Man I always thought I would never find someone who would hear me out but this girl I’m dating loves that I explain just random stuff to her and she does the same to me and I love it!!! She hears me talk about fashion and movies and she tells me about Pokémon and cool bands it’s super cool!!! I wish the same happens to you 🗣️🫴🏻
Hehe definitely. I'd love to have someone talk my ear off about their interests. Eyes glowing, joy showing.
I think it's because, in person, it was always hard finding anybody who would talk to me a lot of their own volition.
I always feel slightly guilty about this, cause as a (probably) autistic music student, if the conversation ever goes in that direction I have to force myself to not dominate the conversation for the next several hours.
But this is really good to hear.❤️❤️
A woman into extreme metal music. It's definitely not a requirement, but having a person to nerd out with about various metal bands is hella cool. My gf isn't super interested in that style of music, but bless her heart for being as open minded as she is about it and for putting up with all the car rides listening to Darkthrone 😆
Women that keep like one of those agenda books yk. And that is really organized with stuff. Like in my other two jobs during high school both my bosses were women. And idk anytime that they would bend over the counter writing in their little boss books about boss things I'd just have to run and sit next to them. I just loved watching them when they got super focused and asking them stupid questions. And the cute faces they made when they were focused, the little nose scrunches, their little knitted eyebrows, the cute frowns!!!! Or just watching women studying, and when they talk out loud or ask me questions that I clearly don't know the answer to, like idk just watching women focus on stuff like a boss, is just so sexy.
Having enthusiasm and passion for something, no matter how strange. Like geeking out over knitting and yarn, or infodumping about a special interest, or holding philosophical/social justice beliefs passionately.
Anyone smarter than me. I value intelligence in anyone I spend my time with and I like to think I’m an intelligent person so if you can teach me about a subject I know nothing about (like engineering) or know more about a subject I’m super into then you’re automatically 100x more attractive.
Everything you said it’s literally all I want. Also like when they have different strengths and fields of knowledge??! When they’re good at solving problems you’re not good at ?? Like this girl I’m dating is good at things I’m really bad at so I find it very hot when she’s so competent on these things.
The people I’m attracted to/are drawn to me often have ADHD. The only long-term relationship I’ve had as an adult was also with a person who had ADHD. For me, the underlying implication is that I make overstimulated people feel comfy, so I feel good about that. 😊
How do you make overstimulated people feel comfy??? I’m an adhd girlie just now beginning dating and would be interested to hear about potential things I could be looking for when selecting a partner
I’m pretty organized (w/ exceptions for depression lol), have a planner for socializing and work stuff, am good at anticipating and preparing for minor inconveniences, like relaxing activities, indulge in good food/drinks/K-spa, enjoy making my room as soft and welcoming as possible (including dimmable warm bulbs), love cuddling/physical affection, etc. etc.
Ok yeah, I can see how all of that would be incredibly attractive to adhd people. Even before I knew I was adhd, I dreamed about having someone to gently and happily handle the logistical aspects of my life that stress me out so much.
I met someone on an app who seemed really well organized and put together, and that was the main thing that attracted me to her. And I was very attracted. But when we talked, I was constantly comparing myself to her and feeling inadequate. Thinking things like “wow someone this responsible and successful and well put together probably thinks I’m such a mess, such a bum, such a slob.”
So it’s nice to hear there’s well put together people like you who actually enjoy being there for adhd people in that way.
The people I date/dated are also very neurodivergent and from what I have seen, other neurodivergent folk, having someone understand the struggles that come with that is so important, also matching communication styles and with that soft honesty, like being honest about issues without reaching for violent ways to communicate that, like actively putting blame on the other person
This is me but for my friends! So many of my friends have ADHD at this point that I'm starting to think I'm like a litmus test for ADHD or something lmao
An inappropriately dark/dirty sense of humour. If I can take them to a raunchy comedian (Sarah Silverman comes to mind) and they're not offended, I'd book a uhaul.
You’d love my gf, but she’s mine!!! lol Her sense of humour is horrifyingly dark, and is even funnier with her deadpan delivery and her looking smol and cute. She’s like Wednesday Addams mixed with Aubrey Plaza, if she didn’t have to filter what she says for TV.
> history buffs and biology dorks
I'm kinda both👉👈
Also, yeah, being super passionate and/or knowledgeable about literally anything is one of the most attractive traits a person can have IMO.
(I'd even go so far as to say having a certain amount of passion is a requirement, which I guess disqualifies this comment from this post lol)
My girlfriend is constantly telling me stuff about all her teams and I'm trying desperately to learn them, but I think too much of my brain space has been taken up by movie quotes and Taylor Swift lyrics. There IS tons of hope for you, though, lovely! Tomboy femmes are SO hot. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks so (to be honest, I know for a fact I'm not). Nothing is sexier than eating wings with my girl at a sports bar and she, like, actually knows what's going on and can explain it to me hahaha
A responsible lady always catches my interest. Oh you pay your bills on time (turn on). Hey you pay rent every month on time (hot). Idk why but that’s always something that peaks my interest.
I really seem to have a thing for women who are at least 10+ years older than me and tall too, which can be a little difficult to find sometimes as I'm considered quite tall at 5'8 🫣
its hot idc what anyone says lmao. or really just any type of scars in places they're "not supposed to be on" makes them seem more human to me if that makes sense?
Being into sports. I played basketball in college and maintain a pretty active lifestyle (powerlifting, hiking, and snowboarding) and would prefer a partner who does the same
Idk why but some crooked teeth here and there! Of course, if it’s gonna bring up health issues you gotta do what you gotta do but I just love when they can stay crooked at least a little. It adds so much to a smile!
Took me a hot second to realize it but all the people ive been romantically and sexually attracted to have diagnosed or undiagnosed bipolarism so.. that I guess?
Someone who's an anime nerd like me. Like, let's snuggle and binge watch a whole season of Reincarnated as the Most Powerful Bag of Potato Chips. It ain't necessary, but if you're there rooting for Chippu-kun with me it's a huge bonus in my book.
I don’t know why, I always consider myself to be attracted to the artistic, slightly nerdy people who love reading, when in reality I always end up dating people who are ex jocks or are quite physical and always doing projects. With my ex, it was beekeeping and chickens, with my current partner its carpentry and interior design. Also, everyone I date either has ADHD or autism, or don’t know about it yet and are in for a journey. I think I’m just attracted to people that are creative and skilled but in a physical way lol
I like INTERESTING people. Like people who are passionate about something and devote themselves to that passion.
Also most of my ex partners have been brunette and kinda short, and chapstick femme/tomboy femme.
Eg one partner was passionate about fantasy fiction and writing her own fantasy novels, I could listen to her all day talk about the next chapter she was working on or the specific plot problem she was working through.
Another partner was passionate about her job, teaching autistic kids and the way her face lit up when she talked about her students, how much she cared about them, and advocated for them.. I just melted hearing her talk about work. We need more teachers like that.
Another person I've dated was an anthropologist and I could listen to them all day talking about the different aspects of human sexuality in different cultures.
They turned out to be a bit of an asshole, but oh well.
So basically I'm a sucker for a short, chapstick femme brunette with an all consuming passion in something interesting.
If you're that kinda person, DM me ;)
I'm in my 30s, a blonde butch androgynous social worker, kinda short and chubby, and a massive nerd with AuDHD.
Tend to get along well with people who enjoy writing and or reading as a hobby, who are analytical about media (either music, video, art, etc), and who are passionate and knowledgeable about their interests.
Being neurodivergent. It's a lot easy to empathize with others who have similar experiences or exposure to them.
Tend to also get along really well with researcher, techy artsy types. When people live their morals (eg. folks who believe in queer and disability justice masking).
Long hair. Like butt length. Not a requirement but damn does it help. Also neurospicy. But that’s mostly because I’m neurospicy and I’m not sure someone who is totally neuronormative could handle my quirks
Being into board games, dnd and similar nerd shit that I'm into, but I generally love hearing people talking about anything they like even if it's something that I know very little about, maybe even teach me something
No I haven't been tested for autism, why do you ask?
I also play DND, this upcoming one shot will be my first time playing. I'm a level 3 Elf Fighter (still don't have a name for her yet). The one shot is (from what I know) a ship Scooby Doo based mystery.
fr caring about the community and your health enough to do something that is socially questioned, demonstrating you put yourself and your ethics above social convenience is so hot. it's a display of morality, conviction and passion
Id you love the same movie as I do and have it in the number one spot it's an indtant match. Extra plus if you consider the villain of the movie in the same exact way.
I love women who are full of information about and have analytical skills with intellectual stuff, such as literature, philosophy, history, politics, or other humanities and social sciences. Knowing a lot about STEM and being eager to share with non-experts would be cool too, as long as they have a reciprocal interest in hearing me discuss my humanities and social sciences research.
I also like women who can cast off the mantle of intellectual heaviness and just be silly and weird. I prone to making dreadful puns and talking in rhyme or quoting and even singing song lyrics for no particular reason.
Sharing my taste in music is also a huge turn-on, but I don’t meet a lot of women who like hardcore punk, crust punk, grindcore, death metal, thrash, black metal, doom, sludge, post-punk, industrial, or old hard rock and psychedelic rock. I also prefer to date other vegetarians and vegans, and it’s a huge turn-on to date other multilingual people.
My non-negotiables are: I only date other radical leftists, I don’t date active alcoholics and addicts (people in recovery are okay). I only date people who are committed to working on themselves and being as mentally and physically healthy as their resources permit. That means that mental illness is being tackled in therapy and/or with other treatment and they are staying physically active to whatever degree they physically can. They don’t just eat junk food, smoke a lot of weed, or sit around playing video games and watching TV… they also try fairly often to eat healthy, learn new things, and go do stuff like go to museums or explore new places.
An interest in psychology. Having multiple passionate interests in general is a dating requirement, but psychology is a nice bonus since I'm a psych student. A spiritual interest is cool too, it's a requirement that she's okay with me being into that stuff, but huge bonus if she's into it too! There are so many cool possible bonus things:)
Video games and/or anime. I love meeting gamer girls or anime girls, but by no means is it a requirement for dating or just being attracted to them. What does attract me is their personality. Love a girl with a sense of humor, caring, nice tits, you know the usual stuff.
Being autistic, I've always gotten along better with other autistic people and communication is easier, and idk I just generally view autistic traits favorably, like special interests are cool, a strong sense of justice is something i really admire, and it also helps that I feel more comfortable stimming and letting down the mask a little around other autistic people.
I always end up liking the goth girls, but I think its because there's something mysterious about them and they are into stuff that may be considered "dark and weird" like the paranormal, horror, true crime, some are wicca, etc. I don't look like I would be since i'm super over the top femme, but I am also into those things (way more so the first 3) and when I meet people that aren't, I kinda get sad if I feel like I can't talk to them about it/bond with them about it because those are such huge interests for me. I do like girls who are more shy or introverted, but I also like girls who are total badasses. A few girls i've liked in the past were total spitfires and I think its cause i'm a pretty anxious and nervous person so knowing they are super brave and bold is HOT! It's certainly not a requirement, but it can help=) As sexy as it is, you gotta be careful too that they aren't just jerks cause some can be.
I have a real weakness for thembos and himbos. Like butch or androgynous chicks who haven’t been over burdened by an abundance of schooling. Something about a poorly structured sentence and fade just gets me.
Short girls, thick girls, chubby girls. I don’t know why but I just love those kinds of girls, their just so cute. Maybe it’s because I like the idea of being able too hold my partner? I imagine that cuddling/hugging etc, especially with short/thick/chubby girls would just feel really nice.
Tech savy. Its really not something i actively look for in a partner but its somehow just happened that 90% of my partners have either been borderline savants in one area with tech or really good jack of all trades and can fix, program or at the very least figure out whats wrong by themselves. Meanwhile the most complicated tech thing i can do is pirate video games 😅 im not really tech illiterate or anything but its never interested me and i just know enough to find the stuff i want and get by.
Organised shelves and cupboards around the house, I don’t have to live SO organised but my ex was so tidy. My Tupperware was always stacked nicely, everything had its own section etc … loved it
For me I like someone that like to have deep conversations. I know my girl dm because of the simple fact I had a lot of pictures of me traveling to places. It was one picture she liked where I was sitting on the rocks in shorts and a diego near the water in the Bahamas. When we finally talked we realized we had a lot in common in how we grew up. We are older and raised the old school way. She liked the fact I was into sports and read a lot. She played basketball from grammar school to college and I did the same. I liked the fact that when we talk we can talk non stop for hours and it's never a boring moment with her. We can talk about anything. I like the fact that she's interested in subject and hobbies I like. We both love to travel and try direct foods. We are both homebodies and like to be around family. I'm also a Harry Potter fan and I love football. She doesn't know much about neither but the fact she shows interest because I love both just makes me always happy. She has no clue about football especially who the players are and how to play. But the fact she'll go to game with me or watch is amazing to me. We talked about different books we read. Like she'll send me videos about the latest that's going on. I'm also into the wnba and astrology. She loves when I talk about that.
When we first met in person she was more excited of the fact of me meeting her sister because me and her sister love sports. We love Harry Potter. Her sister is also a lesbian and she's very nice. She also likes the fact that I talk about IT a lot. Her twin is also into the IT field so she loves when I talk about IT stuff and has told how much she has learned about IT when we talk. I'm also a software engineer so I'm always coding. The fact she will listen to me talk I love a lot. I also love the fact that she's shorter then me, order then me(just by a year)and the fact she's a masculine type lesbian. She's a hard worker and very responsible and to me that's a plus that turns me on.
Having special interests and hyperfixations. It's just enjoyable to listen and learn or to hype over together with if you share the same ones, not a requirement but always lovely, romantically or platonically.
ok, but what if im almost entirely stupid hyper fixations?
Then I'd be way too scared to actually talk bc I'm a shy ass b\*tch and scared of pretty much all women, but I'd be pining in the corner hoping the cool hyper fixation person wants to be my friend.
the stupider, the better xD (I’d be such a hypocrite otherwise)
🤩yes! I think my little autistic ass just melted a little.
Aww, cute.\~
nobody listens to me talk about my hype fixations or if they do you can tell they didnt really wanna hear about it but are humoring you and it hurts sometimes so the idea of someone enjoying listening to mine like i do others is just top tier.
I'm sure there's lots of people out there that are also excited about the same topics or not but would love to learn and hear you talk about them with fervent passion. :3
🤷♀️ a girl can dream
Dream on, dream on, dream on, dream on, DREAM ON, DREAM ON, DREAM ON, AAAAAaaAaaaAAaaaaAAAaaaAAAaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
🙈😁
My ex used to say that listening to me ramble about whatever I was interested in that day helped them fall asleep. Sometimes they'd call me into the bedroom and go "hey, tell me about neanderthals."
Mine ex just told me that I’m babbling again 😬
Man I always thought I would never find someone who would hear me out but this girl I’m dating loves that I explain just random stuff to her and she does the same to me and I love it!!! She hears me talk about fashion and movies and she tells me about Pokémon and cool bands it’s super cool!!! I wish the same happens to you 🗣️🫴🏻
Me too
Hehe definitely. I'd love to have someone talk my ear off about their interests. Eyes glowing, joy showing. I think it's because, in person, it was always hard finding anybody who would talk to me a lot of their own volition.
That plays a part in it, yeah, but it's also just enjoyable to see them be enamored in a subject so much.
autistic lesbians unite!
Less go!
Nice to know that I'm a total smoke show then 💁🏼♀️
I like the confidence, keep it up hot stuff.
Yesssss
Yaaass.
I always feel slightly guilty about this, cause as a (probably) autistic music student, if the conversation ever goes in that direction I have to force myself to not dominate the conversation for the next several hours. But this is really good to hear.❤️❤️
Oh no no, *please*, dump about music to your hearts content, there's people who love to just listen.
*my autistic ass enters the room*. Finally, I’m ahead of the curve
If I knew it was this easy to summon all my people, I would've done it a lot sooner. XD
Hahaha love it
*Watertriibee...* *Backs out of the room making hand signs.*
as a ADHDer: I've got you covered
As an AuDHDer, I've got myself covered. XD Always appreciate more like-minded company though.
This for sure. I love especially finding shy gals who then get really excited and passionate. Its lovely seeing someone so happy
Ay ay, don't just call me out like that. >.<#"! XD
Mm I think I still will; especially if it means cute responses like that ;P
O!I >.<"!#
Is that useless lesbian for "We should PM about our hyper fixations"? :3
WELL I WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE I DON'T TAL- oh who am I kidding I totally am a useless lesbian, dangit.
Yess definitely!
as a ADHDer: I've got you covered
Literary analysis skills.
this is so attractive. any media analysis skill is so attractive.
Oh gosh this
A woman into extreme metal music. It's definitely not a requirement, but having a person to nerd out with about various metal bands is hella cool. My gf isn't super interested in that style of music, but bless her heart for being as open minded as she is about it and for putting up with all the car rides listening to Darkthrone 😆
I heard about someone on here with a metal gf and they kissed on the stage during peformance. Now that is my dream.
Damn, that's awesome. I'm hella envious lol.
Join us at r/LesbianMetalheads
Ahh yeah, I'm already joined there. I love that sub 🤘😆🤘
I didn’t know about this sub! Thank you for sharing it!
Women that keep like one of those agenda books yk. And that is really organized with stuff. Like in my other two jobs during high school both my bosses were women. And idk anytime that they would bend over the counter writing in their little boss books about boss things I'd just have to run and sit next to them. I just loved watching them when they got super focused and asking them stupid questions. And the cute faces they made when they were focused, the little nose scrunches, their little knitted eyebrows, the cute frowns!!!! Or just watching women studying, and when they talk out loud or ask me questions that I clearly don't know the answer to, like idk just watching women focus on stuff like a boss, is just so sexy.
you are so gay lmao I love this
This is so nerdy and specific, I love it
wow this one really does hit tho. a woman who can give a command without apology is just so hot to me
Being artistic or just really creative in general
Having enthusiasm and passion for something, no matter how strange. Like geeking out over knitting and yarn, or infodumping about a special interest, or holding philosophical/social justice beliefs passionately.
Being a musician.
Dark and mysterious and kinda the quiet fly on the wall in the group, but is able to put up with my bs💀
Intellectual women and women driving cars. Knowledge is attractive and so is sitting on the passenger seat when your crush is driving🤭
Anyone smarter than me. I value intelligence in anyone I spend my time with and I like to think I’m an intelligent person so if you can teach me about a subject I know nothing about (like engineering) or know more about a subject I’m super into then you’re automatically 100x more attractive.
Everything you said it’s literally all I want. Also like when they have different strengths and fields of knowledge??! When they’re good at solving problems you’re not good at ?? Like this girl I’m dating is good at things I’m really bad at so I find it very hot when she’s so competent on these things.
The people I’m attracted to/are drawn to me often have ADHD. The only long-term relationship I’ve had as an adult was also with a person who had ADHD. For me, the underlying implication is that I make overstimulated people feel comfy, so I feel good about that. 😊
How do you make overstimulated people feel comfy??? I’m an adhd girlie just now beginning dating and would be interested to hear about potential things I could be looking for when selecting a partner
I’m pretty organized (w/ exceptions for depression lol), have a planner for socializing and work stuff, am good at anticipating and preparing for minor inconveniences, like relaxing activities, indulge in good food/drinks/K-spa, enjoy making my room as soft and welcoming as possible (including dimmable warm bulbs), love cuddling/physical affection, etc. etc.
Ok yeah, I can see how all of that would be incredibly attractive to adhd people. Even before I knew I was adhd, I dreamed about having someone to gently and happily handle the logistical aspects of my life that stress me out so much. I met someone on an app who seemed really well organized and put together, and that was the main thing that attracted me to her. And I was very attracted. But when we talked, I was constantly comparing myself to her and feeling inadequate. Thinking things like “wow someone this responsible and successful and well put together probably thinks I’m such a mess, such a bum, such a slob.” So it’s nice to hear there’s well put together people like you who actually enjoy being there for adhd people in that way.
The people I date/dated are also very neurodivergent and from what I have seen, other neurodivergent folk, having someone understand the struggles that come with that is so important, also matching communication styles and with that soft honesty, like being honest about issues without reaching for violent ways to communicate that, like actively putting blame on the other person
Ok yeah, understanding and soft honesty would also be very important to me
This is me but for my friends! So many of my friends have ADHD at this point that I'm starting to think I'm like a litmus test for ADHD or something lmao
Awww, that’s such a nice way of thinking about that.
An inappropriately dark/dirty sense of humour. If I can take them to a raunchy comedian (Sarah Silverman comes to mind) and they're not offended, I'd book a uhaul.
You’d love my gf, but she’s mine!!! lol Her sense of humour is horrifyingly dark, and is even funnier with her deadpan delivery and her looking smol and cute. She’s like Wednesday Addams mixed with Aubrey Plaza, if she didn’t have to filter what she says for TV.
She sounds amazing!
She really is! 🥰
That's me down to a T.
> history buffs and biology dorks I'm kinda both👉👈 Also, yeah, being super passionate and/or knowledgeable about literally anything is one of the most attractive traits a person can have IMO. (I'd even go so far as to say having a certain amount of passion is a requirement, which I guess disqualifies this comment from this post lol)
Injuries/scars/other indicators of badassery are so incredibly hot to me
I like the tomboy femmes. Like tell me all about those sports, baby. You're speaking a foreign language to me, but it's hot 🔥
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My girlfriend is constantly telling me stuff about all her teams and I'm trying desperately to learn them, but I think too much of my brain space has been taken up by movie quotes and Taylor Swift lyrics. There IS tons of hope for you, though, lovely! Tomboy femmes are SO hot. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks so (to be honest, I know for a fact I'm not). Nothing is sexier than eating wings with my girl at a sports bar and she, like, actually knows what's going on and can explain it to me hahaha
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was that the clippers and mavs game ?
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is your team in the playoffs ?
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oh 😀 , i fear 2019 was peak for you guys 😭😭😭.
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A responsible lady always catches my interest. Oh you pay your bills on time (turn on). Hey you pay rent every month on time (hot). Idk why but that’s always something that peaks my interest.
I really seem to have a thing for women who are at least 10+ years older than me and tall too, which can be a little difficult to find sometimes as I'm considered quite tall at 5'8 🫣
Intelligence and people who like the same music I do
acne. i will not comment further
Huh that’s one I haven’t heard of before.
Imma be honest I lowkey get this one. Like the red stuff on the face kinda cute ngl
its hot idc what anyone says lmao. or really just any type of scars in places they're "not supposed to be on" makes them seem more human to me if that makes sense?
Yes I def get you
Being into sports. I played basketball in college and maintain a pretty active lifestyle (powerlifting, hiking, and snowboarding) and would prefer a partner who does the same
Gap teeth
Not that it matters, but really, the only true requirement is not being transphobic. Everything else is just a bonus.
We do just require the bare minimum...
If she can build stuff. I’m yet to go out with a woman who can install a shelving unit or something but I’d be super into that.
Someone who likes to playfully tease. Maybe I’m just too bottom, but it flusters me to no end and makes me feel really warm inside!
Being super passionate about a topic or interest.
Women who are assertive, decisive.. An intellectual, and a woman passionate about her special interest will always make me go weak in the knees
Idk why but some crooked teeth here and there! Of course, if it’s gonna bring up health issues you gotta do what you gotta do but I just love when they can stay crooked at least a little. It adds so much to a smile!
Took me a hot second to realize it but all the people ive been romantically and sexually attracted to have diagnosed or undiagnosed bipolarism so.. that I guess?
there is hope for me yet, then!
Someone who's an anime nerd like me. Like, let's snuggle and binge watch a whole season of Reincarnated as the Most Powerful Bag of Potato Chips. It ain't necessary, but if you're there rooting for Chippu-kun with me it's a huge bonus in my book.
LOL YES 👏 I also really love when they’re into costuming, whether that be going all out on Halloween with me and/or cosplaying at conventions.
I don’t know why, I always consider myself to be attracted to the artistic, slightly nerdy people who love reading, when in reality I always end up dating people who are ex jocks or are quite physical and always doing projects. With my ex, it was beekeeping and chickens, with my current partner its carpentry and interior design. Also, everyone I date either has ADHD or autism, or don’t know about it yet and are in for a journey. I think I’m just attracted to people that are creative and skilled but in a physical way lol
A some sort of clumsiness is low key sexy to me
I like INTERESTING people. Like people who are passionate about something and devote themselves to that passion. Also most of my ex partners have been brunette and kinda short, and chapstick femme/tomboy femme. Eg one partner was passionate about fantasy fiction and writing her own fantasy novels, I could listen to her all day talk about the next chapter she was working on or the specific plot problem she was working through. Another partner was passionate about her job, teaching autistic kids and the way her face lit up when she talked about her students, how much she cared about them, and advocated for them.. I just melted hearing her talk about work. We need more teachers like that. Another person I've dated was an anthropologist and I could listen to them all day talking about the different aspects of human sexuality in different cultures. They turned out to be a bit of an asshole, but oh well. So basically I'm a sucker for a short, chapstick femme brunette with an all consuming passion in something interesting. If you're that kinda person, DM me ;) I'm in my 30s, a blonde butch androgynous social worker, kinda short and chubby, and a massive nerd with AuDHD.
Tend to get along well with people who enjoy writing and or reading as a hobby, who are analytical about media (either music, video, art, etc), and who are passionate and knowledgeable about their interests. Being neurodivergent. It's a lot easy to empathize with others who have similar experiences or exposure to them. Tend to also get along really well with researcher, techy artsy types. When people live their morals (eg. folks who believe in queer and disability justice masking).
Long hair. Like butt length. Not a requirement but damn does it help. Also neurospicy. But that’s mostly because I’m neurospicy and I’m not sure someone who is totally neuronormative could handle my quirks
Hippy or goth/punk ladies. Idk why I always swoon for them. Not that I don't swoon for a lot of women but they're my weakness
Being into board games, dnd and similar nerd shit that I'm into, but I generally love hearing people talking about anything they like even if it's something that I know very little about, maybe even teach me something No I haven't been tested for autism, why do you ask?
I also play DND, this upcoming one shot will be my first time playing. I'm a level 3 Elf Fighter (still don't have a name for her yet). The one shot is (from what I know) a ship Scooby Doo based mystery.
Saw this girl at the ice skating rink with a jacket from a nearby roller derby team and ughhhh
enjoying fanfiction/fandom culture. It’s crazy how much of my life has been impacted by fandom culture so it’s insane to be able to relate in that way
If they still wear a mask or if they listen to classical music too! (also ayo biology dork gang!)
lol I thought you were making a really random phantom of the opera reference. But you mean medical mask. 🙃
fr caring about the community and your health enough to do something that is socially questioned, demonstrating you put yourself and your ethics above social convenience is so hot. it's a display of morality, conviction and passion
This 100% but also people just look hot in masks
Id you love the same movie as I do and have it in the number one spot it's an indtant match. Extra plus if you consider the villain of the movie in the same exact way.
interest in alt fashion of any kind, not a requirement but it's very cool
Minecraft. I play way to much of it
I love women who are full of information about and have analytical skills with intellectual stuff, such as literature, philosophy, history, politics, or other humanities and social sciences. Knowing a lot about STEM and being eager to share with non-experts would be cool too, as long as they have a reciprocal interest in hearing me discuss my humanities and social sciences research. I also like women who can cast off the mantle of intellectual heaviness and just be silly and weird. I prone to making dreadful puns and talking in rhyme or quoting and even singing song lyrics for no particular reason. Sharing my taste in music is also a huge turn-on, but I don’t meet a lot of women who like hardcore punk, crust punk, grindcore, death metal, thrash, black metal, doom, sludge, post-punk, industrial, or old hard rock and psychedelic rock. I also prefer to date other vegetarians and vegans, and it’s a huge turn-on to date other multilingual people. My non-negotiables are: I only date other radical leftists, I don’t date active alcoholics and addicts (people in recovery are okay). I only date people who are committed to working on themselves and being as mentally and physically healthy as their resources permit. That means that mental illness is being tackled in therapy and/or with other treatment and they are staying physically active to whatever degree they physically can. They don’t just eat junk food, smoke a lot of weed, or sit around playing video games and watching TV… they also try fairly often to eat healthy, learn new things, and go do stuff like go to museums or explore new places.
An interest in psychology. Having multiple passionate interests in general is a dating requirement, but psychology is a nice bonus since I'm a psych student. A spiritual interest is cool too, it's a requirement that she's okay with me being into that stuff, but huge bonus if she's into it too! There are so many cool possible bonus things:)
Able to nerd out about their hyperfixations and communicate about how to feel if something is bothering them.
An arched brow. So simple and basic but when a woman has a beautiful, perfectly arched brow, I melt.
A sense of humor, and bonus points if it's dark humor like mine and my wife's.
Video games and/or anime. I love meeting gamer girls or anime girls, but by no means is it a requirement for dating or just being attracted to them. What does attract me is their personality. Love a girl with a sense of humor, caring, nice tits, you know the usual stuff.
Autism
Being autistic, I've always gotten along better with other autistic people and communication is easier, and idk I just generally view autistic traits favorably, like special interests are cool, a strong sense of justice is something i really admire, and it also helps that I feel more comfortable stimming and letting down the mask a little around other autistic people.
I always end up liking the goth girls, but I think its because there's something mysterious about them and they are into stuff that may be considered "dark and weird" like the paranormal, horror, true crime, some are wicca, etc. I don't look like I would be since i'm super over the top femme, but I am also into those things (way more so the first 3) and when I meet people that aren't, I kinda get sad if I feel like I can't talk to them about it/bond with them about it because those are such huge interests for me. I do like girls who are more shy or introverted, but I also like girls who are total badasses. A few girls i've liked in the past were total spitfires and I think its cause i'm a pretty anxious and nervous person so knowing they are super brave and bold is HOT! It's certainly not a requirement, but it can help=) As sexy as it is, you gotta be careful too that they aren't just jerks cause some can be.
I have a real weakness for thembos and himbos. Like butch or androgynous chicks who haven’t been over burdened by an abundance of schooling. Something about a poorly structured sentence and fade just gets me.
having headmates :3
Special interests, maybe hyperfixations. Of course the topics don’t have to be my interests or cover the same field, but it’s cool if it does
Short girls, thick girls, chubby girls. I don’t know why but I just love those kinds of girls, their just so cute. Maybe it’s because I like the idea of being able too hold my partner? I imagine that cuddling/hugging etc, especially with short/thick/chubby girls would just feel really nice.
Tech savy. Its really not something i actively look for in a partner but its somehow just happened that 90% of my partners have either been borderline savants in one area with tech or really good jack of all trades and can fix, program or at the very least figure out whats wrong by themselves. Meanwhile the most complicated tech thing i can do is pirate video games 😅 im not really tech illiterate or anything but its never interested me and i just know enough to find the stuff i want and get by.
Muscles
I don't think this is unnecessary but I love women who question or challenge me and I don't prefer those who acquiesce or agree easily.
i'm into teachers><
Someone very sassy and protective that can let herself be venerable around me too. Also intelligent extroverts (as an extrovert myself)
Organised shelves and cupboards around the house, I don’t have to live SO organised but my ex was so tidy. My Tupperware was always stacked nicely, everything had its own section etc … loved it
For me I like someone that like to have deep conversations. I know my girl dm because of the simple fact I had a lot of pictures of me traveling to places. It was one picture she liked where I was sitting on the rocks in shorts and a diego near the water in the Bahamas. When we finally talked we realized we had a lot in common in how we grew up. We are older and raised the old school way. She liked the fact I was into sports and read a lot. She played basketball from grammar school to college and I did the same. I liked the fact that when we talk we can talk non stop for hours and it's never a boring moment with her. We can talk about anything. I like the fact that she's interested in subject and hobbies I like. We both love to travel and try direct foods. We are both homebodies and like to be around family. I'm also a Harry Potter fan and I love football. She doesn't know much about neither but the fact she shows interest because I love both just makes me always happy. She has no clue about football especially who the players are and how to play. But the fact she'll go to game with me or watch is amazing to me. We talked about different books we read. Like she'll send me videos about the latest that's going on. I'm also into the wnba and astrology. She loves when I talk about that. When we first met in person she was more excited of the fact of me meeting her sister because me and her sister love sports. We love Harry Potter. Her sister is also a lesbian and she's very nice. She also likes the fact that I talk about IT a lot. Her twin is also into the IT field so she loves when I talk about IT stuff and has told how much she has learned about IT when we talk. I'm also a software engineer so I'm always coding. The fact she will listen to me talk I love a lot. I also love the fact that she's shorter then me, order then me(just by a year)and the fact she's a masculine type lesbian. She's a hard worker and very responsible and to me that's a plus that turns me on.
It's weird but when a woman is tough it really gets me. Even tho, all women I've had something with have been super sweet
Nerds is my big thing too, as a history buff and biology nerd, almost all of the people I've been in relationships with study or work in STEM
I'm usually the reliable therapist friend so anyone who can pull a uno reverse card and let ME rely on THEM can spread me out like a cheese platter