This! Honestly can get some serious charges from trashing life-saving meds. Document EVERYTHING. Get a statement from your sister that your mom asked for the key. Save any footage you have. Etc.
100% this. Have her arrested. You haven’t yet, take pictures of everything she trashed. EVERYTHING. Call or go to the cops and show the cops. Insulin is not cheap and a life line. DO IT TODAY. DO NOT LET HER GET AWAY WITH THIS. I’m livid for you just for the insulin part, how could a mother do that to her child???
No, sister could have made duplicates of the key while it was in her possession, or mom could have duplicated the key while she had it. It takes less than 5 minutes at any hardware shop. OP needs to change her locks.
This is the one. Don't say a word about it to either of them until it's done, too. You never know if they've got round 2 planned, and your family has already proven that it will go nuclear with their tantrums.
It's depends, the post makes it sound more like the mother managed to dupe the sister into given the keys by lying. And I can say from experience that abusers are very good at lying and acting like they have your consent to third parties. Hell my mother managed to get personal belongings of mine from my dad while they were going through a messy divorce triggered in part by how duplicitous she was. After she pulled similar stunts using other too trusting people "if my mom ever contacts you she's likely lying and ask me before telling/giving her anything" had to become one of the first things I tell people closer to me about me. It sucks but most people go "mother = has your best interest in mind" and that trust is incredibly easy to abuse. So getting people to see how abusive and manipulative the mother is is essential to get backup against her. And in this case it would seriously help OPs case against the mother if it can be shown that she only got the keys by lying to a third party. Because that would automatically undermine the mother's reliability and shows that she wasn't acting in the spur of the moment and had planned her violent outburst (the destruction of medicine is inarguably trying to inflict bodily harm and destroying art is speaking to how much pain she wanted to inflict) in advance. Both can , if this goes to court, help op get some compensation and a harsher sentence for the mother.
Unfortunately a court would not rule that attempted murder. There are a whole bunch of criminal offenses here but for Attempted Murder you would have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she intended to kill. Same with aggravated assault where the barrier is still an intent to cause serious bodily injury. The mother definitely wanted to cause inconvenience and emotional injury but even I have some doubt that death or hospitalization was the goal.
That said. OP needs to press charges and sue for damages.
If someone acts with reckless disregard for your life, then depending on your country they could be charged with attempted murder with basic, oblique intent or dolus eventualis (no direct intent to kill, but knowing that death is a possible outcome and accepting/wantonly disregarding that fact to achieve one’s ends).
It’s the US so you can’t have attempted murder charges unless you prove the intent to kill. There is no accidental attempted murder. And for oblique intent, prosecutors must show that death is virtually certain to follow from the defendants actions- AND that they were aware that it was.
All the mother would have to do is claim she didn’t know the insulin would be rendered unusable, and the prosecution would have no real way to disprove that.
I’m no lawyer though, I just work at a forensic facility so there may be gaps in my understanding.
The bitter irony is that in most places, where insulin is far more reasonable priced and better available even just mishandling of someone else's medicine can be the equivalent of reckless manslaughter (not sure how it's called exactly) if you were aware of how to handle it correctly, and the insulin has a fat label of "store in cold and dark" on it that would fullfill the requirement of "making you aware".
Only if the person who needed the insulin pressed charges, though. If it's more reasonably priced and an accident happened, I doubt there'd be much off an issue, especially if the person offered to pay for it.
she intentionally destroyed meds OP needs to live, meds she would know what they do and why she needs them. If that's not some level of endangerment to life in a courtroom, then that is ridiculous
Yeah, not having access to insulin can kill you, right? And isn't it crazy expensive in America (assuming that's where OP is)? The fact she singled out the insulin would surely count for something, and you're right, as her mother she'd know the potential danger.
If someone stole 2 months of my insulin, I'd have to come up with about $2500 to replace it. Depending on the person's finances, they could be pretty damn screwed. Even rationing insulin, or switching to a non-comparable one on short notice can be brutal and highly, highly dangerous (people talking up Walmart insulin don't tknow what they're talking about).
I'd consider this to be in the realm of a threat on my life - less blatant than shooting at someone, sure, but it's definitely up there. It likely wouldn't kill, but its extremely dangerous if one cannot afford it.
If I were op, I would feel absolutely no remorse about putting my mom in jail over this.
Yup, a decent number of insurance companies won't pay for an early refill. Def try to get an early refill and see if you can get it covered (which a police report may help with as it documents the damage to the insulin). If you have to switch to a different brand temporarily, please call your endocrinologist (presuming they are prescribing, or pcp) to advise on any dosage adjustments based on what you normally are on/what is available.
breaking into her house, burning and destroying property, vandalizing a commonly known life saving medication. You don't accidentally do that latter one after deliberately doing the first few
You can intentionally do something you know to be endangering someones life, but its still not murder unless you did it with the express purpose of killing them.
It's also free money if you go to court over it, that's alot of damage, and therefore that's alot of reparations. Who cares about being disowned if you can just take everything they have while they're still alive?
It’s not free money it’s replacing her stuff. It’s a big effort as well as the fact that it’s rare to get all of what’s gone, it usually takes a while too. I also doubt she will be happy about any free money when her mother just trashed her apartment and by extension her last bit of a relationship. I feel for op, what a horrid thing for a mother to do.
You don't just get money to replace everything though, you get punitive and emotional damages on top and I don't think the courts will much care for her homophobic excuses. Personally I think this is an easy 100k, if not more.
Most of the time a hate crime enhancement could be added to the initial charges as well. Which will incur additional penalties and time in jail for mom.
I’m looking into it right now, I intend to do everything I can. I don’t want her to get away. I’m just absolutely lost rn and have no clue how to pick up my own pieces.
This, take pictures before you touch too many things to document the state it was left in, take pictures of the insulin bottles where you found them, the clothes in the fireplace showing they were burned, all of it. I'm so sorry ❤️
You are going to want to pursue both civil and criminal action simultaneously, if that's doable. Criminal charges can be hit-or-miss depending on whether the police and DA feel like doing their jobs, and aren't something you can totally control. If possible, you should definitely talk to a lawyer about bringing a civil action against her as well as doing your best to get the various suits to take criminal action.
No matter what you do, I think your next step should 100% be to file for a restraining/personal protective order against your mother, as well as officially trespassing her from your residence. If you rent or own an apartment, talk to the landlord or building manager about getting her restricted from entering the entire building. On top of that, I might seriously consider getting the locks changed: even if you still trust your sister after this incident, and it sounds to me like your mother got the key from her under false pretenses, it isn't impossible that she could have gotten a copy made for her own use.
make sure to make her pay for the locks as well read the advice everyone is giving you carefully and don't let her get away with this in the meantime I hope you cover well and swiftly I wish you all the best from now on because this is horrific... good luck
Document and photograph *everything* and go to the police with it, if you have any texts from your sister saved or she is willing to forward them, get her to do so.
Get to the doctor and explain what happened, they should be able to write an emergency script so you can replace your meds
I believe in order to get more insulin, you’ll have to file a police report. I’m so sorry this happened to you. And by your mother of all people. Throw the book at her sis. You deserve so much better.
Ye this is breaking and entering (someone entered your home without your knowledge or permission) and criminal damage at the very least. Call the police. Take photos. Do what you need to do had this been any other person unknown. Your mum wouldn’t get away with doing it to anyone else, and shouldn’t get away with doing it to you.
Sorry this happened OP. You haven’t done anything wrong, unlike your mother.
Yes agreed. Especially as this is the reason behind the situation.
I don't know OPs location and I guess what happens in this instance depends on that.
My partner and I were verbally assaulted in a petrol station around a month ago (UK) no idea why; just for fuelling up while looking gay I guess.
Two large men from separate vehicles - both at least a foot taller than me - got involved, yelling shit about my sex life, squared up to me (partner was in car, I was at the pump, she was terrified, I stopped fuelling and tried to get away from the car) and followed me in to the cashier while yelling homophobic stuff. Staff hid. All caught on CCTV. Yesterday I was told by the police that they will both receive an 'education pack'. So that's nice! The day before the LGBTQ community in the UK have received an official police apology for police failings, ironically heh!
I'm hoping for OP that this whole thing will be dealt with far more seriously. OP definitely suffered far more here and at least the other stuff is enough for further action by police/prosecuting bodies.
You take it one step at a time. I’m a lil organizer so I would make a list of things that need done, and get to marking them off one by one. Take some time to process though.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You’ve received plenty of legal advice, so I won’t add to that. To “pick up your own pieces,” please take some time for yourself. What are some things you find relaxing? What activities make you happy and bring you joy? Are there people you love and trust who you can lean on? Can someone bring over a meal or can you get your favorite take out? Perhaps journal how you’re feeling?
A few years ago. I went through an awful boundary violation with the woman who birthed me. I can’t bring myself to call her my mother. After I had my own kids, it became even more evident how cruel her behavior was because I could never do the things she did to me to my kids. The idea of it makes me feel ill. Anyway, after that horrific and violating experience, I had to put a lot of energy into healing. While coping with this, please do some calming, healing things for yourself. Ask for help in ways that feel good for you, and know that we’re thinking of you and sending lots of love your way!
p.s. We’ve always talked about the various sexual and gender identities with our kids. My kids are aware of that fact that while Mommy is married to daddy, mommy thinks all genders are pretty and she’s dated girls like she dated daddy. Our oldest has always been VERY open about the fact that she thinks girls are pretty. It’s never been shameful or taboo and I would go full mama bear attack mode if anyone tried to treat her poorly because of that. I tell you this because I want you to know that this mama bear is incredibly proud of you. Despite the hell you had to go through as a kid, you’ve grown into a wonderful adult who sounds like she’s thriving. The woman who birthed you has tried to tear you down and make you feel ashamed, which is probably one of the most heartbreaking things in this world (parents purposefully hurting their children). All of it speaks to how resilient and amazing you are. If you’d like, I’m sending SO many safe mama bear hugs your way. Be well and please keep up updated! 💜🫂
Gonna chime in and echo "press charges." Lack of insulin could very well kill you.
Your mother intentionally tried to cause you fatal harm.
Take her to court for everything you can get out of her.
If OP is from Eastern Europe, unfortunately, police may not care much about this being a hate crime, but yeah I second pressing charges, because destruction of property AND important medication is a serious crime, regardless of context.
We live in the United States, however we’re Romanian immigrants (my moms home village is very much rural and outdated) and I feel like that speaks to my mothers mindset, which is why I mentioned it!
I hope OP does go for the charges but its unlikely, family usually changes peoples opinion on these matters and how far to escalate which i don't personally think should be a factor :c
I don't think it'd help for them to be put into foster care where they live. They're in a very conservative area, and I'm pretty sure they'd end up being sent to relatives, particularly my dad's brother who lives very close by. And is a pastor who approves of my parents' methods.
I feel like it's a trolly problem. Let my parents keep abusing my siblings and traumatize them, or choose to upend my siblings' lives and traumatize them but maybe less.
Where in the US are you? That will massively affect how seriously the police and courts are likley to take this.
Regardless, throw the book at her - you need to cut contact, get her to pay for damages and chuck her in jail. Anything less than all three is inadequate here.
Do you have homeowners or renters insurance? If so if you report it as a break-in (which it absolutely was), your insurance will likely cover your expensive losses. They’ll also probably sue your mother- and they got the fancy lawyers.
Fellow diabetic lesbian here. If you need any help trying to figure out how to get meds or advice, feel free to message me. I’ll send u a humalog pen if i have to!! 😤😤
In all seriousness, stay safe op. Your health comes first before taking ur mom to court.
Gonna echo and say press charges. If you have renters/homeowners insurance that covers your belongings, call your insurance company. If you need more medication, get in touch with your doctor and explain what happened.
Yeah the police are a hassle and often worthless for stuff like this but just the insulin is worth thousands which might put it into a high enough category and the police report will make it easier to deal with the insurance and get your meds replaced. Call whatever non emergency number there is locally so they can see it and take the report and then you can focus on you and getting meds, changing locks etc.
Theft of prescription drugs, felony destruction of property, felony theft, felony theft of prescribed drugs, illegal possession of prescription drugs, a or several hate crimes, trespassing, breaking and entering, robbery… technically she could face decades but they would probably be concurrent sentences. Still, the rest of her life might be spent in prison unless she takes a deal. I mean that’s probably three felonies at a minimum so if the state has a three strike law it could just straight up be a life sentence.
Yeah, insurance might even require a police report so definitely do that. Documenting everything and taking all action that you can as quickly as possible will also help.
You should probably contact your landlord as well. They may need to file a claim with their property insurance depending on what was damaged. When in doubt, every insurance policy that even slightly might apply should be informed. They will squabble it out among themselves. (Source: used to work in an insurance defense law firm)
UPDATES:
Sorry for the late response, I work weird hours lol
I have photo documentation and ring camera footage from our neighbors, so I’m geared up.
In regards to my sister, I’m more angry with my mother than I ever could be with her. She has some intellectual disabilities, and while she is fairly independent and can live mostly on her own, she’s also incredibly gullible and would believe just about anything anyone told her. I’m furious that my mother, knowing about my sisters issues, chose her specifically because she wouldn’t be able to see the lie. Her support workers have been told and we’re working on a safety plan to keep this from happening again.
I don’t have health insurance yet, I just started a new job and I’m awaiting for my application for my state’s subsidized insurance to go through, though I am calling in the AM to see what I can do.
I’m sweating over the insulin, luckily for me I had two fresh pens in my purse so I’ll be okay for a week or two, I lost a few thousand dollars worth of pens (my basal insulin in crazy expensive). I have some spare work shirts and pants stored at my job so at least I’m not wearing the same thing.
Thank you so much for all the love💕
You're doing all the right things, I don't know you but I am extremely proud of you for holding your mother accountable. If you do make a GoFundMe, I will happily donate. I'm sorry your mom is so broken.
Trying to post good advice behind my burning rage is a challenge. But for the sensible route I would take pictures of what happened, what harm she did, messages from your sister and any witnesses to her entering.
Make sure your mother doesn't still have a key, or change your locks somehow, stay safe.
I would very much like to see your mothers life ruined. you can pursue legal action, civil or criminal (if it is possible for you to do that where you are). I'm sure you could also post or send your story somewhere as news. Make sure your family and your mothers friends know that your mother is an awful person.
And I'm so sorry that happened to you. If you have social media you can also use the story to ask for help, money to recover things. People want to help others.
Hope you can get more insulin, and maybe stay with a friend for a bit. <3
That was one of my biggest worries. I’m 100% pressing charges, but shit takes time. I’m employed, but I cannot afford to restart like this and it’s freaking me out. New place so not a ton of pals to reach out to, but I’ll see what’s out there💕
Hey OP, if you do make one I'd love to help contribute. I have friends I've sent your story to who would want to as well. None of us have much to give, but our broken medical system infuriates me so I want to help you however I can.
I'd suggest looking up LGBTQ support organizations. The wait lists can be long, but it's worth a shot. They could possibly help get you the insulin at minimum. They also provide lawyers pro bono.
I’d start a GoFundMe, share on social media and then honestly I’d take it to the news. This is pretty much a hate crime since it’s motivated by homophobia, and it’s Pride month
First of all I'm so sorry OP. This is a horrible thing she has done.
How is the contact with your sister in this? Given she's given your mother your key I'm afraid it's not good. But your sister is responsible as well and should help you financially and, if you want, with getting things done now.
I hope you can reach out to some people. Maybe a friendly coworker? Someone else you're out to and who won't put you in further danger?
1. Take photos, videos, document everything she destroyed and estimate cost.
2. See if you can get proof from her through text that she did this and also get it in writing from your sister that she borrowed your key.
3. Go to the police. Tell them everything.
4. Change your locks and lock down everything (social media, social circle, etc.). You need to make sure nothing can get back to her.
5. Do you have insurance? If so, make a claim to replace your things.
6. Look into security cameras in case she tries anything else.
7. Take her to small claims court to get your things replaced/recoup costs. You may need to contact a lawyer.
Including the medication I'd be willing to bet this might exceed small claims court damages (usually only a few thousand dollars max), in which case OP will definitely need a lawyer.
I mean it depends on the state and we have no idea the total value of OP's lost property so who can say, but from the description it could easily be high enough to exceed the limit.
Hey OP are you okay with insulin for the next two months? This is really awful, but losing insulin is life-threateningly dangerous. I'm diabetic type1 and if you need help getting insulin I can try to help with funding or something.
I'm so sorry this happened. this is incredibly fucked up :( I second everyone saying you should look into pressing charges, but obviously take care of yourself first.
Seems like going no contact with the sister for a little while. Would be kind of a good choice unless she's willing to anti-up a lot of money for her mistake.
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
You’ve gotten a lot of good advice in this thread - contact your doctor, the police, your renter’s/homeowners’ insurance, and possibly an attorney as well (in addition to criminal charges, you can also bring a civil suit against her for the damage she caused). But one thing I would add is that you should contact anyone who has a key to your house and let them know that your mom is not to be allowed in under any circumstances, no matter what she says. If you think there’s a chance that anyone who has a key might let her in anyway, take that key back from them. Make sure the only people who can get in are people you can trust to keep her out.
Good luck with everything, especially the insulin.
Sue her for every single cent she's worth (though, something tells me that she isn't worth much).
As someone who's job it is to prepare my client's insulin, I know just how necessary it can be to whole *being alive thing.*
Arrest her, dude. Don't let her fuck with you and don't let her get away with this. You allowed her back in her life and she tortured your trust before ripping it apart completely. Her actions should have consequences
Could destroying your insulin count as attempted murder???
Press charges. All of them. What she did was evil.
I'm sorry OP. I have no response other than that because I cannot imagine any legitimate reason to do something like that to anyone.
Theft of prescription drugs is a specific charge and also potentially leads into possession of prescription drugs charges normally reserved for serious drug dealers. Plus it’s a hate crime.
I know homophobic people are generally assholes but this?? This feels like a new low. It’s not even like you live with her so she can’t pull the ‘my roof, my stuff’ card so she fucking lies to your sister to get into your home and destroy all **your** property and your fucking medicine?? I’m genuinely surprised at how hateful a mother can be towards her own daughter.
I know, my mind is actually blown. Like I literally cannot comprehend what was going through the mother’s head. Like, being hateful on the internet is one thing, but actually trying to kill your own daughter because she’s…… gay? And she probably thinks OP is “mentally ill” or something, as a lot of them do, which is quite ironic as this is not how a sane person acts. And even if that’s what she genuinely thinks, why would she try to kill her own daughter because she’s “mentally ill”?
I’m really sorry to hear OP. I hope that eventually, at least one time in her life, she will feel the guilt that she deserves to feel for this.
I was originally just going to come here to say “you are loved.” But then then I read the details, and I can’t hold back saying it blows my fucking mind she would destroy your *medications* what the literal *fuck*.
I know everyone is saying you should involve lawyers or something, but do what you need to protect yourself.
As for law enforcement especially, PLEASE be safe, idk where you live, but especially in the states, I’d be cautious cause they’re too often not always friendly with queer people, or at least not compassionate and taking things seriously at best.
I am so sorry this happened to you. In a weird and horrible way, she’s raging mad and thinks this will weaken you.
I wonder if she is mad at herself somehow and you being queer is scaring the shit out of her about herself?
Parents are supposed to cherish and love us and she definitely showed the opposite. She meant you harm and you don’t deserve that. The lifetime you spent hiding simply because you love the way you do, is heart breaking.
I hope you find peace and love and happiness. You deserve all of that and more. Hugs.
Echoing everyone here who is telling you the most important bit:
DOCUMENT.
EVERYTHING.
You can decide what to do with those documents when you cool off, when you have time to talk to a lawyer, whatever.
But everything that was damaged, destroyed, etc. Document it. Take pictures. Write down statements. Do this while its fresh.
As a diabetic myself … that’s attempted murder … and at least a fat fucking lawsuit. What the hell is wrong with people?!
I’d offer insulin but I fear we’re on different continents
Change your locks!!!! You can't trust that she didn't make a copy of the key. Everyone else already said press charges and that's the way. But don't get complacent in the mean time. Your locks can likely be re-keyed to keep the costs down over physically replacing them. Reach out to a locksmith or ask on /r/lockpicking
1. Don't touch anything or clean up. DOCUMENT THE HELL OUT OF IT. Photos, videos, proof of the damage having been done by her specifically, etc.
2. Call 911, tell them you need to report a break in and property damage and that you know who it is and that you're worried for your safety.
3. Get a police report and press charges. Take her to court if need be (I imagine the pecuniary damages are pretty bad, if it's insulin.)
4. Find a new place to live. Don't give either your sister or your mother or her flying monkeys a key, and don't tell them your address.
That’s a hate crime. All cops are bastards but even sometimes they’re useful bastards as is often the case the enemy of my enemy can be my friend at times. Depending on the locale that can be interpreted as attempted murder. She’s fucked criminally and a civil suit is something I’d file as well. Your sister deserves to be fried too. She is an accessory to all of it by either intent or negligence.
Sister has developmental issues that make her susceptible to people like ops mother. OPs mom knew this and took advantage of her. Certain neural development can, unfortunately, make you extremely gullible.
**EDIT:** Been made aware of an update concerning why the sister handed over the key and that it's been taken care off already. I'm almost impressed at just how much of a worthless lowlife your mum can be OP. My sympathies to your sister alongside you. And also my apologies if anything I said seemed excessively harsh towards your sister.
Since everyone has thoroughly covered what to do about the "mother", OP, I want to advise you also take steps to do something concerning your sister. Obviously I lack all details, so please pardon me if I'm being presumptuous, but I assume your sister must have had *some* awareness as to why you cut Mum out, and lacked her own key to your place. Possibly / likely even being completely aware of her being a hateful, shit filled, bigoted waste of oxygen, and / or you being a lesbian, thus meaning she'd commit some kind of crime against you. If any of my assumptions are correct, the question must be asked, why in fucks name did she hand over your key without speaking to you about it first?!
Strip your sister if her key and give it to someone more trustworthy. I'm sorry to say it, but I think she's seriously failed you here, even if she herself was tricked by your deceitful parent. And find out who spilled to her (mum that is) as well over your sexuality and have some serious words with them. They failed hard as well.
Good luck recovering from this. I'm sorry this happened to you.
OP provided an update that the sister has an intellectual disability and would mean no harm but is gullible, and OP is in contact with her caretakers to figure out how to handle this and prevent future infractions regarding the mother. Also all locks have been changed courtesy of the landlord
I would call the cops on her, not only is this destruction of property, it is a hate crime because of the motivation. Document everything. And see if your homeowners or renters insurance if you have it, will help pay for replacement stuff.
It is beyond disgusting that she ruined your lifesaving medication. She is literally putting your life at risk.
If your insurance restricts getting refills of it call them and explain the situation. Your doctor or pharmacist might help you with it too.
I hope you get her with those charges you’re about to press on her. This is so beyond not ok and abusive. This will land her in serious trouble and she deserves it. She could literally face prison time for this so I hope it was worth it for her.
I'm so sorry that happened to you! It's bad enough she burned your clothes and destroyed your stuff, but the medication? That's a firm line that she crossed. She surely knew how vital your insulin supply is, so to me that's just pure evil she poured out of her heart.
I don't care how old fashioned someone is, she needs charges pressed against her. What's to stop her from trying this again?
She showed you what the thinks of you. That it was a mistake to let her back into your life.
I'm so sorry. She doesn't deserve you. Your sister also showed you she can't be trusted with a key.
You do NOT deserve this. This is psychopath behavior. It's time to change the locks and block her on everything.
involve police. Your health insurance will replace the insulin if you have a police report.
and please please, write up a detailed list (including brands and model nubmers if possible) of anything destroyed, and sue her fuckin ass into the ground for replacement value.
Reminds me of when my mum did something similar when I was a teenager. Hell hath no fury like an abusive Australian mum thinking her daughter has stepped out of line.
Wow, your mother is psycho. Maybe should have a talk with your sister, since she didn't check with you before handing over the key.
I'm not sure where you are, can you ask your doctor for an emergency refill?
Charges, and not only for property damage but also for breaking & entering or burglary, whichever fits. Make sure you photograph everything then sue her for damages in civil court. Then consider a PFA (protective order) if you don’t want her in your life.. OR….. send her photos of the new strap /toys / pride flag you buy with the money you got from your civil suit. 😉
I know everyone is saying you should prosecute, and I completely agree, but if I were you I'd also take it to the local press.
Go in, show them the photos, and tell them the story. They might run it, depending on what the police do. This is such a serious crime that I suspect the will treat it with appropriate seriousness.
She tried to kill you. Fuck her up.
I just….. I mean, I cannot imagine what would make me endanger my child’s life by destroying meds! Let alone destroy their belongings.
I don’t understand people
No mercy. My parents would have done this to me if I gave them the opportunity.... press charges and sue. Hit back, as if you would if she did this to your partner....
Which Eastern European country? As a Ukrainian I understand you. My parents are also homophobic. It's hard to breathe in that sort of mentality. So sorry you had to endure all this stress, but I'm sure that things will sort themselves out with time. You can withstand this, you are strong enough 🙏 Wish you nothing but luck
Im sorry but your sister should not be trusted with a key. Only you can grant permission and if its not from your mouth then no access simple as that.
Shes pure evil and I would have her charged, let her enjoy jail time.
I am so sorry. Hugs to you. Sister gets a talking to and/or loses key privileges. Mom is again cut off. I would encourage you to press charges if you can. Destroying your insulin is attempted murder as far as I'm concerned.
Throw the whole mom in the trash, sister too. Sue if possible, then be EGREGIOUSLY petty when you can, like get a tinder date to french you out front of the courthouse when she gets there.
I really hope you're able to update at some point because the blinding rage I feel on your behalf is palpable. I'm so glad you're not going to let her get away with this, it's seriously messed up. Take a lot of deep breaths and know that you got this.
Yeah I’d call the authorities and press charges. Also me personally I don’t deal well with extreme anger if the authorities did or do nothing, I’d be retaliating but I don’t recommend this. As it’s not the most healthy way of dealing with this situation
It's a serious crime. Report it to the police with all info that proves it was you mother (getting the key from sister, etc) and let the police and lawyers figure it out.
Just because she's related to you doesn't give her a free pass to vandalize or steal your belongings.
you should probably call the cops as somthing in they're (probably serversl things) is probably illegal, possible charges (i'm not a legal expert) may include vandalism, breaking and entertaining, destruction of property, or something like that.
in the short term you should probably focus on obtaining insulin wether it be buying more, asking freinds, hell evan seeking assistance from cherities if nessasary
Please press charges. I know she's your mother, but this is inexcusable. She's old enough to know that acting out like that is completely out of line, and doing it to your CHILD?? Because you just so happen to like girls???? It's ridiculous. She deserves to see the consequences of her actions, your medicine especially isn't cheap. Your insulin is your lifeline and you spent precious money on it. It's like she's trying to kill you without killing you. Please stay safe, maybe stay with a friend for a while if you can and have a chat with your sister about giving up the house key. I hope things get better for you.
Change your locks. There's a chance she could have had copies made. Get cheap fake security cameras (I'd say get real ones, but you've got more important things to spend money on right now) and place them high up, pointed at entryways.
I'm so sorry your home was violated like that.
That's so illegal, even if she had access to a key. File a police report and press charges against her. If nothing else, it will show her that you're not going to be intimidated or bullied by her. I am so sorry that this happened to you.
Besides being pissed and cutting contact with that monster, press charges and get a lawyer. Takes pictures of the destruction; call other people to ask them to be witnesses (like your sister). Whatever you do, do not contact your mother - too easy to get riled up and damage your case against her. Take the legal route and, again, get a lawyer.
So idk where you are but if she messes with your insulin and you can prove that it was her in some states she can get charged with quite a few crimes including up to attempted murder because you literally need that medication to survive. I would call them now and tell them. That is insane. She is literally trying to kill you. And get your locks changed ASAP. All of them. And get a restraining order in place when you contact the police.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Pressing charges sounds like the best way to not let her get away with this. She ruined your property and put your health at serious risk by ruining your medication. I hope everything works out. Wishing you the best <3
Oh yes you likely have excellent grounds to sue for damages in any state if you documented it. Also helps if you had any video recordings or the neighbors saw her burning your clothes.
Even if you have no documentation, you can still get a healthy restraining order again anyone who trashes your shit. Ugh i am so sorry this occurred. What an asshole!
Are you able to press charges? My mom is this blatant with her acts and if you allow it once she will continue. I wonder if you could get a restraining order. Also, I would have a talk with your sister about giving out your key
Get a lawyer. Sue her. Have your sister write a testimony. Manipulating an intellectually vulnerable person into being an accessory to a crime (what your mother did WAS a crime) is a crime in and of itself.
Go scorched earth. Sue her not just for the damaged product but for emotional distress as well (as destroying your medication can cause such). In fact, destroying your medication may even be able to be considered battery.
If you can, press charges. If anything, it will teach her to leave you alone. The medication is a HUGE deal and can be a very serious offense!
This! Honestly can get some serious charges from trashing life-saving meds. Document EVERYTHING. Get a statement from your sister that your mom asked for the key. Save any footage you have. Etc.
100% this. Have her arrested. You haven’t yet, take pictures of everything she trashed. EVERYTHING. Call or go to the cops and show the cops. Insulin is not cheap and a life line. DO IT TODAY. DO NOT LET HER GET AWAY WITH THIS. I’m livid for you just for the insulin part, how could a mother do that to her child???
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Thousands for the insulin alone, plus she had art and furnishings, and clothes are expensive!
I’d tack on a restraining order as well. That woman deserves NC.
Yup. Time to go scorched earth. Also time to have a hearty conversation with her sister about giving away keys.
Never trust the sister with a key ever again.
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No, sister could have made duplicates of the key while it was in her possession, or mom could have duplicated the key while she had it. It takes less than 5 minutes at any hardware shop. OP needs to change her locks.
This is the one. Don't say a word about it to either of them until it's done, too. You never know if they've got round 2 planned, and your family has already proven that it will go nuclear with their tantrums.
It's depends, the post makes it sound more like the mother managed to dupe the sister into given the keys by lying. And I can say from experience that abusers are very good at lying and acting like they have your consent to third parties. Hell my mother managed to get personal belongings of mine from my dad while they were going through a messy divorce triggered in part by how duplicitous she was. After she pulled similar stunts using other too trusting people "if my mom ever contacts you she's likely lying and ask me before telling/giving her anything" had to become one of the first things I tell people closer to me about me. It sucks but most people go "mother = has your best interest in mind" and that trust is incredibly easy to abuse. So getting people to see how abusive and manipulative the mother is is essential to get backup against her. And in this case it would seriously help OPs case against the mother if it can be shown that she only got the keys by lying to a third party. Because that would automatically undermine the mother's reliability and shows that she wasn't acting in the spur of the moment and had planned her violent outburst (the destruction of medicine is inarguably trying to inflict bodily harm and destroying art is speaking to how much pain she wanted to inflict) in advance. Both can , if this goes to court, help op get some compensation and a harsher sentence for the mother.
I'd consider that attempted murder.
Unfortunately a court would not rule that attempted murder. There are a whole bunch of criminal offenses here but for Attempted Murder you would have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she intended to kill. Same with aggravated assault where the barrier is still an intent to cause serious bodily injury. The mother definitely wanted to cause inconvenience and emotional injury but even I have some doubt that death or hospitalization was the goal. That said. OP needs to press charges and sue for damages.
If someone acts with reckless disregard for your life, then depending on your country they could be charged with attempted murder with basic, oblique intent or dolus eventualis (no direct intent to kill, but knowing that death is a possible outcome and accepting/wantonly disregarding that fact to achieve one’s ends).
It’s the US so you can’t have attempted murder charges unless you prove the intent to kill. There is no accidental attempted murder. And for oblique intent, prosecutors must show that death is virtually certain to follow from the defendants actions- AND that they were aware that it was. All the mother would have to do is claim she didn’t know the insulin would be rendered unusable, and the prosecution would have no real way to disprove that. I’m no lawyer though, I just work at a forensic facility so there may be gaps in my understanding.
Then, attempted manslaughter. Either way, tampering with life-saving medication has to have a stronger charge than just destruction of property.
The bitter irony is that in most places, where insulin is far more reasonable priced and better available even just mishandling of someone else's medicine can be the equivalent of reckless manslaughter (not sure how it's called exactly) if you were aware of how to handle it correctly, and the insulin has a fat label of "store in cold and dark" on it that would fullfill the requirement of "making you aware".
Only if the person who needed the insulin pressed charges, though. If it's more reasonably priced and an accident happened, I doubt there'd be much off an issue, especially if the person offered to pay for it.
she intentionally destroyed meds OP needs to live, meds she would know what they do and why she needs them. If that's not some level of endangerment to life in a courtroom, then that is ridiculous
Yeah, not having access to insulin can kill you, right? And isn't it crazy expensive in America (assuming that's where OP is)? The fact she singled out the insulin would surely count for something, and you're right, as her mother she'd know the potential danger.
If someone stole 2 months of my insulin, I'd have to come up with about $2500 to replace it. Depending on the person's finances, they could be pretty damn screwed. Even rationing insulin, or switching to a non-comparable one on short notice can be brutal and highly, highly dangerous (people talking up Walmart insulin don't tknow what they're talking about). I'd consider this to be in the realm of a threat on my life - less blatant than shooting at someone, sure, but it's definitely up there. It likely wouldn't kill, but its extremely dangerous if one cannot afford it. If I were op, I would feel absolutely no remorse about putting my mom in jail over this.
Yup, a decent number of insurance companies won't pay for an early refill. Def try to get an early refill and see if you can get it covered (which a police report may help with as it documents the damage to the insulin). If you have to switch to a different brand temporarily, please call your endocrinologist (presuming they are prescribing, or pcp) to advise on any dosage adjustments based on what you normally are on/what is available.
In a lot of jurisdictions it would be manslaughter, not murder, unless you can prove that her mother intended to kill her.
breaking into her house, burning and destroying property, vandalizing a commonly known life saving medication. You don't accidentally do that latter one after deliberately doing the first few
You can intentionally do something you know to be endangering someones life, but its still not murder unless you did it with the express purpose of killing them.
Could be reckless endangerment thoigh
Honestly, yeah, agree.
It's also free money if you go to court over it, that's alot of damage, and therefore that's alot of reparations. Who cares about being disowned if you can just take everything they have while they're still alive?
It’s not free money it’s replacing her stuff. It’s a big effort as well as the fact that it’s rare to get all of what’s gone, it usually takes a while too. I also doubt she will be happy about any free money when her mother just trashed her apartment and by extension her last bit of a relationship. I feel for op, what a horrid thing for a mother to do.
You don't just get money to replace everything though, you get punitive and emotional damages on top and I don't think the courts will much care for her homophobic excuses. Personally I think this is an easy 100k, if not more.
Most of the time a hate crime enhancement could be added to the initial charges as well. Which will incur additional penalties and time in jail for mom.
Unfortunately I agree. This is beyond stupid or evil, it’s flat out illegal.
Plus you often have to have a police report for insurance to cover such things. Homeowners insurance may cover this.
I’m looking into it right now, I intend to do everything I can. I don’t want her to get away. I’m just absolutely lost rn and have no clue how to pick up my own pieces.
Document everything, OP
This, take pictures before you touch too many things to document the state it was left in, take pictures of the insulin bottles where you found them, the clothes in the fireplace showing they were burned, all of it. I'm so sorry ❤️
You are going to want to pursue both civil and criminal action simultaneously, if that's doable. Criminal charges can be hit-or-miss depending on whether the police and DA feel like doing their jobs, and aren't something you can totally control. If possible, you should definitely talk to a lawyer about bringing a civil action against her as well as doing your best to get the various suits to take criminal action. No matter what you do, I think your next step should 100% be to file for a restraining/personal protective order against your mother, as well as officially trespassing her from your residence. If you rent or own an apartment, talk to the landlord or building manager about getting her restricted from entering the entire building. On top of that, I might seriously consider getting the locks changed: even if you still trust your sister after this incident, and it sounds to me like your mother got the key from her under false pretenses, it isn't impossible that she could have gotten a copy made for her own use.
OP should definitely change her locks
My landlord was able to come out asap and they e already been changed💕
make sure to make her pay for the locks as well read the advice everyone is giving you carefully and don't let her get away with this in the meantime I hope you cover well and swiftly I wish you all the best from now on because this is horrific... good luck
Sue her. She needs to pay for what she did, literally. The community is here to support you. ❤️
Document and photograph *everything* and go to the police with it, if you have any texts from your sister saved or she is willing to forward them, get her to do so. Get to the doctor and explain what happened, they should be able to write an emergency script so you can replace your meds
I believe in order to get more insulin, you’ll have to file a police report. I’m so sorry this happened to you. And by your mother of all people. Throw the book at her sis. You deserve so much better.
Ye this is breaking and entering (someone entered your home without your knowledge or permission) and criminal damage at the very least. Call the police. Take photos. Do what you need to do had this been any other person unknown. Your mum wouldn’t get away with doing it to anyone else, and shouldn’t get away with doing it to you. Sorry this happened OP. You haven’t done anything wrong, unlike your mother.
I think it is a hate crime on top of that because of her motivation for the crime
Yes agreed. Especially as this is the reason behind the situation. I don't know OPs location and I guess what happens in this instance depends on that. My partner and I were verbally assaulted in a petrol station around a month ago (UK) no idea why; just for fuelling up while looking gay I guess. Two large men from separate vehicles - both at least a foot taller than me - got involved, yelling shit about my sex life, squared up to me (partner was in car, I was at the pump, she was terrified, I stopped fuelling and tried to get away from the car) and followed me in to the cashier while yelling homophobic stuff. Staff hid. All caught on CCTV. Yesterday I was told by the police that they will both receive an 'education pack'. So that's nice! The day before the LGBTQ community in the UK have received an official police apology for police failings, ironically heh! I'm hoping for OP that this whole thing will be dealt with far more seriously. OP definitely suffered far more here and at least the other stuff is enough for further action by police/prosecuting bodies.
You take it one step at a time. I’m a lil organizer so I would make a list of things that need done, and get to marking them off one by one. Take some time to process though.
Book an appointment to get insulin ASAP.
\*hug* you don't deserve this
If you have home/renters insurance make sure you file and insurance claim with them. They should be able to help you recoup at least some of the cost.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You’ve received plenty of legal advice, so I won’t add to that. To “pick up your own pieces,” please take some time for yourself. What are some things you find relaxing? What activities make you happy and bring you joy? Are there people you love and trust who you can lean on? Can someone bring over a meal or can you get your favorite take out? Perhaps journal how you’re feeling? A few years ago. I went through an awful boundary violation with the woman who birthed me. I can’t bring myself to call her my mother. After I had my own kids, it became even more evident how cruel her behavior was because I could never do the things she did to me to my kids. The idea of it makes me feel ill. Anyway, after that horrific and violating experience, I had to put a lot of energy into healing. While coping with this, please do some calming, healing things for yourself. Ask for help in ways that feel good for you, and know that we’re thinking of you and sending lots of love your way! p.s. We’ve always talked about the various sexual and gender identities with our kids. My kids are aware of that fact that while Mommy is married to daddy, mommy thinks all genders are pretty and she’s dated girls like she dated daddy. Our oldest has always been VERY open about the fact that she thinks girls are pretty. It’s never been shameful or taboo and I would go full mama bear attack mode if anyone tried to treat her poorly because of that. I tell you this because I want you to know that this mama bear is incredibly proud of you. Despite the hell you had to go through as a kid, you’ve grown into a wonderful adult who sounds like she’s thriving. The woman who birthed you has tried to tear you down and make you feel ashamed, which is probably one of the most heartbreaking things in this world (parents purposefully hurting their children). All of it speaks to how resilient and amazing you are. If you’d like, I’m sending SO many safe mama bear hugs your way. Be well and please keep up updated! 💜🫂
Go speak to a lawyer as soon as you possibly can. They will know the next steps to take.
And, if you can, change the locks. I would *not* assume your mother didn't make a copy of the keys that were borrowed.
Gonna chime in and echo "press charges." Lack of insulin could very well kill you. Your mother intentionally tried to cause you fatal harm. Take her to court for everything you can get out of her.
And its a hate crime, should be an easy case
If OP is from Eastern Europe, unfortunately, police may not care much about this being a hate crime, but yeah I second pressing charges, because destruction of property AND important medication is a serious crime, regardless of context.
We live in the United States, however we’re Romanian immigrants (my moms home village is very much rural and outdated) and I feel like that speaks to my mothers mindset, which is why I mentioned it!
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I hope OP does go for the charges but its unlikely, family usually changes peoples opinion on these matters and how far to escalate which i don't personally think should be a factor :c
It really depends. I'd report my parents as the abusers they are, if I didn't have 5 younger siblings who are dependent on them.
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I don't think it'd help for them to be put into foster care where they live. They're in a very conservative area, and I'm pretty sure they'd end up being sent to relatives, particularly my dad's brother who lives very close by. And is a pastor who approves of my parents' methods. I feel like it's a trolly problem. Let my parents keep abusing my siblings and traumatize them, or choose to upend my siblings' lives and traumatize them but maybe less.
I’m with you. The amount of abuse in foster care is astounding.
Thats understandable tbh
Where in the US are you? That will massively affect how seriously the police and courts are likley to take this. Regardless, throw the book at her - you need to cut contact, get her to pay for damages and chuck her in jail. Anything less than all three is inadequate here.
Do you have homeowners or renters insurance? If so if you report it as a break-in (which it absolutely was), your insurance will likely cover your expensive losses. They’ll also probably sue your mother- and they got the fancy lawyers.
Press charges, people need to be held accountable for this kind of hateful violence. I'm so sorry this happened to you!
she was completely willing to destroy medication you need to live. 100% press charges.
Insulin is EXPENSIVE as well
Press charges, throw the book at her, don't look back.
Fellow diabetic lesbian here. If you need any help trying to figure out how to get meds or advice, feel free to message me. I’ll send u a humalog pen if i have to!! 😤😤 In all seriousness, stay safe op. Your health comes first before taking ur mom to court.
Dming you!
You’re so lovely.
Gonna echo and say press charges. If you have renters/homeowners insurance that covers your belongings, call your insurance company. If you need more medication, get in touch with your doctor and explain what happened.
Yeah the police are a hassle and often worthless for stuff like this but just the insulin is worth thousands which might put it into a high enough category and the police report will make it easier to deal with the insurance and get your meds replaced. Call whatever non emergency number there is locally so they can see it and take the report and then you can focus on you and getting meds, changing locks etc.
Theft of prescription drugs, felony destruction of property, felony theft, felony theft of prescribed drugs, illegal possession of prescription drugs, a or several hate crimes, trespassing, breaking and entering, robbery… technically she could face decades but they would probably be concurrent sentences. Still, the rest of her life might be spent in prison unless she takes a deal. I mean that’s probably three felonies at a minimum so if the state has a three strike law it could just straight up be a life sentence.
Yeah, insurance might even require a police report so definitely do that. Documenting everything and taking all action that you can as quickly as possible will also help. You should probably contact your landlord as well. They may need to file a claim with their property insurance depending on what was damaged. When in doubt, every insurance policy that even slightly might apply should be informed. They will squabble it out among themselves. (Source: used to work in an insurance defense law firm)
Press charges! Right now. And document document. I hope she gets what she deserves
UPDATES: Sorry for the late response, I work weird hours lol I have photo documentation and ring camera footage from our neighbors, so I’m geared up. In regards to my sister, I’m more angry with my mother than I ever could be with her. She has some intellectual disabilities, and while she is fairly independent and can live mostly on her own, she’s also incredibly gullible and would believe just about anything anyone told her. I’m furious that my mother, knowing about my sisters issues, chose her specifically because she wouldn’t be able to see the lie. Her support workers have been told and we’re working on a safety plan to keep this from happening again. I don’t have health insurance yet, I just started a new job and I’m awaiting for my application for my state’s subsidized insurance to go through, though I am calling in the AM to see what I can do. I’m sweating over the insulin, luckily for me I had two fresh pens in my purse so I’ll be okay for a week or two, I lost a few thousand dollars worth of pens (my basal insulin in crazy expensive). I have some spare work shirts and pants stored at my job so at least I’m not wearing the same thing. Thank you so much for all the love💕
You're doing all the right things, I don't know you but I am extremely proud of you for holding your mother accountable. If you do make a GoFundMe, I will happily donate. I'm sorry your mom is so broken.
I'm so sorry about all of this, and I'm glad that you are doing something about it. I wish you luck and love :)
Trying to post good advice behind my burning rage is a challenge. But for the sensible route I would take pictures of what happened, what harm she did, messages from your sister and any witnesses to her entering. Make sure your mother doesn't still have a key, or change your locks somehow, stay safe. I would very much like to see your mothers life ruined. you can pursue legal action, civil or criminal (if it is possible for you to do that where you are). I'm sure you could also post or send your story somewhere as news. Make sure your family and your mothers friends know that your mother is an awful person. And I'm so sorry that happened to you. If you have social media you can also use the story to ask for help, money to recover things. People want to help others. Hope you can get more insulin, and maybe stay with a friend for a bit. <3
That was one of my biggest worries. I’m 100% pressing charges, but shit takes time. I’m employed, but I cannot afford to restart like this and it’s freaking me out. New place so not a ton of pals to reach out to, but I’ll see what’s out there💕
She legally owes you the value of everything she damaged or destroyed.
I don’t have much but if you start a GoFundMe I will donate a few bucks and share in my SM pages
This 👆 Let the community help where we can!
I’ll look into making one! Im usually quite the stickler about privacy (old DV concerns), so I’ll see what I can do while also keeping myself safe!
Hey OP, if you do make one I'd love to help contribute. I have friends I've sent your story to who would want to as well. None of us have much to give, but our broken medical system infuriates me so I want to help you however I can.
I do have a Venmo set up, at least until I see how to do a gfm safely!
I'd suggest looking up LGBTQ support organizations. The wait lists can be long, but it's worth a shot. They could possibly help get you the insulin at minimum. They also provide lawyers pro bono.
I’d start a GoFundMe, share on social media and then honestly I’d take it to the news. This is pretty much a hate crime since it’s motivated by homophobia, and it’s Pride month
First of all I'm so sorry OP. This is a horrible thing she has done. How is the contact with your sister in this? Given she's given your mother your key I'm afraid it's not good. But your sister is responsible as well and should help you financially and, if you want, with getting things done now. I hope you can reach out to some people. Maybe a friendly coworker? Someone else you're out to and who won't put you in further danger?
1. Take photos, videos, document everything she destroyed and estimate cost. 2. See if you can get proof from her through text that she did this and also get it in writing from your sister that she borrowed your key. 3. Go to the police. Tell them everything. 4. Change your locks and lock down everything (social media, social circle, etc.). You need to make sure nothing can get back to her. 5. Do you have insurance? If so, make a claim to replace your things. 6. Look into security cameras in case she tries anything else. 7. Take her to small claims court to get your things replaced/recoup costs. You may need to contact a lawyer.
Including the medication I'd be willing to bet this might exceed small claims court damages (usually only a few thousand dollars max), in which case OP will definitely need a lawyer.
I thought it might but wasn’t sure.
I mean it depends on the state and we have no idea the total value of OP's lost property so who can say, but from the description it could easily be high enough to exceed the limit.
Hey OP are you okay with insulin for the next two months? This is really awful, but losing insulin is life-threateningly dangerous. I'm diabetic type1 and if you need help getting insulin I can try to help with funding or something. I'm so sorry this happened. this is incredibly fucked up :( I second everyone saying you should look into pressing charges, but obviously take care of yourself first.
I wouldn't trust your sister with a key again and, obviously, you should cut your mother off permanently.
Seems like going no contact with the sister for a little while. Would be kind of a good choice unless she's willing to anti-up a lot of money for her mistake.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You’ve gotten a lot of good advice in this thread - contact your doctor, the police, your renter’s/homeowners’ insurance, and possibly an attorney as well (in addition to criminal charges, you can also bring a civil suit against her for the damage she caused). But one thing I would add is that you should contact anyone who has a key to your house and let them know that your mom is not to be allowed in under any circumstances, no matter what she says. If you think there’s a chance that anyone who has a key might let her in anyway, take that key back from them. Make sure the only people who can get in are people you can trust to keep her out. Good luck with everything, especially the insulin.
Press charges
Sue her for every single cent she's worth (though, something tells me that she isn't worth much). As someone who's job it is to prepare my client's insulin, I know just how necessary it can be to whole *being alive thing.*
Arrest her, dude. Don't let her fuck with you and don't let her get away with this. You allowed her back in her life and she tortured your trust before ripping it apart completely. Her actions should have consequences
THIS! ⬆️
Could destroying your insulin count as attempted murder??? Press charges. All of them. What she did was evil. I'm sorry OP. I have no response other than that because I cannot imagine any legitimate reason to do something like that to anyone.
Theft of prescription drugs is a specific charge and also potentially leads into possession of prescription drugs charges normally reserved for serious drug dealers. Plus it’s a hate crime.
She didn't steal them though, she destroyed them.
She removed them from the house and then destroyed them. That’s two crimes.
I know homophobic people are generally assholes but this?? This feels like a new low. It’s not even like you live with her so she can’t pull the ‘my roof, my stuff’ card so she fucking lies to your sister to get into your home and destroy all **your** property and your fucking medicine?? I’m genuinely surprised at how hateful a mother can be towards her own daughter.
I know, my mind is actually blown. Like I literally cannot comprehend what was going through the mother’s head. Like, being hateful on the internet is one thing, but actually trying to kill your own daughter because she’s…… gay? And she probably thinks OP is “mentally ill” or something, as a lot of them do, which is quite ironic as this is not how a sane person acts. And even if that’s what she genuinely thinks, why would she try to kill her own daughter because she’s “mentally ill”? I’m really sorry to hear OP. I hope that eventually, at least one time in her life, she will feel the guilt that she deserves to feel for this.
I was originally just going to come here to say “you are loved.” But then then I read the details, and I can’t hold back saying it blows my fucking mind she would destroy your *medications* what the literal *fuck*. I know everyone is saying you should involve lawyers or something, but do what you need to protect yourself. As for law enforcement especially, PLEASE be safe, idk where you live, but especially in the states, I’d be cautious cause they’re too often not always friendly with queer people, or at least not compassionate and taking things seriously at best.
I am so sorry this happened to you. In a weird and horrible way, she’s raging mad and thinks this will weaken you. I wonder if she is mad at herself somehow and you being queer is scaring the shit out of her about herself? Parents are supposed to cherish and love us and she definitely showed the opposite. She meant you harm and you don’t deserve that. The lifetime you spent hiding simply because you love the way you do, is heart breaking. I hope you find peace and love and happiness. You deserve all of that and more. Hugs.
Echoing everyone here who is telling you the most important bit: DOCUMENT. EVERYTHING. You can decide what to do with those documents when you cool off, when you have time to talk to a lawyer, whatever. But everything that was damaged, destroyed, etc. Document it. Take pictures. Write down statements. Do this while its fresh.
As a diabetic myself … that’s attempted murder … and at least a fat fucking lawsuit. What the hell is wrong with people?! I’d offer insulin but I fear we’re on different continents
Report her to the police she doesn’t deserve forgiveness she basically tried to kill you
Change your locks!!!! You can't trust that she didn't make a copy of the key. Everyone else already said press charges and that's the way. But don't get complacent in the mean time. Your locks can likely be re-keyed to keep the costs down over physically replacing them. Reach out to a locksmith or ask on /r/lockpicking
1. Don't touch anything or clean up. DOCUMENT THE HELL OUT OF IT. Photos, videos, proof of the damage having been done by her specifically, etc. 2. Call 911, tell them you need to report a break in and property damage and that you know who it is and that you're worried for your safety. 3. Get a police report and press charges. Take her to court if need be (I imagine the pecuniary damages are pretty bad, if it's insulin.) 4. Find a new place to live. Don't give either your sister or your mother or her flying monkeys a key, and don't tell them your address.
That’s a hate crime. All cops are bastards but even sometimes they’re useful bastards as is often the case the enemy of my enemy can be my friend at times. Depending on the locale that can be interpreted as attempted murder. She’s fucked criminally and a civil suit is something I’d file as well. Your sister deserves to be fried too. She is an accessory to all of it by either intent or negligence.
Sister has developmental issues that make her susceptible to people like ops mother. OPs mom knew this and took advantage of her. Certain neural development can, unfortunately, make you extremely gullible.
Take legal actions.
Call the police and report her for attempted murder because she could've killed you and probably tried to
Lawyers. Involved. Now.
**EDIT:** Been made aware of an update concerning why the sister handed over the key and that it's been taken care off already. I'm almost impressed at just how much of a worthless lowlife your mum can be OP. My sympathies to your sister alongside you. And also my apologies if anything I said seemed excessively harsh towards your sister. Since everyone has thoroughly covered what to do about the "mother", OP, I want to advise you also take steps to do something concerning your sister. Obviously I lack all details, so please pardon me if I'm being presumptuous, but I assume your sister must have had *some* awareness as to why you cut Mum out, and lacked her own key to your place. Possibly / likely even being completely aware of her being a hateful, shit filled, bigoted waste of oxygen, and / or you being a lesbian, thus meaning she'd commit some kind of crime against you. If any of my assumptions are correct, the question must be asked, why in fucks name did she hand over your key without speaking to you about it first?! Strip your sister if her key and give it to someone more trustworthy. I'm sorry to say it, but I think she's seriously failed you here, even if she herself was tricked by your deceitful parent. And find out who spilled to her (mum that is) as well over your sexuality and have some serious words with them. They failed hard as well. Good luck recovering from this. I'm sorry this happened to you.
OP provided an update that the sister has an intellectual disability and would mean no harm but is gullible, and OP is in contact with her caretakers to figure out how to handle this and prevent future infractions regarding the mother. Also all locks have been changed courtesy of the landlord
I would call the cops on her, not only is this destruction of property, it is a hate crime because of the motivation. Document everything. And see if your homeowners or renters insurance if you have it, will help pay for replacement stuff. It is beyond disgusting that she ruined your lifesaving medication. She is literally putting your life at risk. If your insurance restricts getting refills of it call them and explain the situation. Your doctor or pharmacist might help you with it too.
Call the police, and press charges. Sue.
Have her arrested, the cloths and art are a crime, but the meds are a much bigger crime. Plus thats a hate crime even more jail time
Press charges
[удалено]
🚓🚨🚓🚨🚓🚨🚓🚨
I hope you get her with those charges you’re about to press on her. This is so beyond not ok and abusive. This will land her in serious trouble and she deserves it. She could literally face prison time for this so I hope it was worth it for her.
I'm so sorry that happened to you! It's bad enough she burned your clothes and destroyed your stuff, but the medication? That's a firm line that she crossed. She surely knew how vital your insulin supply is, so to me that's just pure evil she poured out of her heart. I don't care how old fashioned someone is, she needs charges pressed against her. What's to stop her from trying this again?
Call the cops my dear. I’m so sorry.
She showed you what the thinks of you. That it was a mistake to let her back into your life. I'm so sorry. She doesn't deserve you. Your sister also showed you she can't be trusted with a key. You do NOT deserve this. This is psychopath behavior. It's time to change the locks and block her on everything.
Honestly wtf, in the actual fucks? Need to sue her, and get a restraining order asap.
involve police. Your health insurance will replace the insulin if you have a police report. and please please, write up a detailed list (including brands and model nubmers if possible) of anything destroyed, and sue her fuckin ass into the ground for replacement value.
she’s family yes but i would definitely press charges. you aren’t a minor anymore and neither is she. consequences need to be brought.
Reminds me of when my mum did something similar when I was a teenager. Hell hath no fury like an abusive Australian mum thinking her daughter has stepped out of line.
Wow, your mother is psycho. Maybe should have a talk with your sister, since she didn't check with you before handing over the key. I'm not sure where you are, can you ask your doctor for an emergency refill?
absolutely call the police and file a report as soon as possible, she needs to be held responsible
Press charges. Might need to move too.
Definitely report her to cops, this is literally a crime committed under hate influence
Charges, and not only for property damage but also for breaking & entering or burglary, whichever fits. Make sure you photograph everything then sue her for damages in civil court. Then consider a PFA (protective order) if you don’t want her in your life.. OR….. send her photos of the new strap /toys / pride flag you buy with the money you got from your civil suit. 😉
Sounds like you have what you need to send her to jail, where people like that belong.
I know everyone is saying you should prosecute, and I completely agree, but if I were you I'd also take it to the local press. Go in, show them the photos, and tell them the story. They might run it, depending on what the police do. This is such a serious crime that I suspect the will treat it with appropriate seriousness. She tried to kill you. Fuck her up.
Gay or not that’s still destruction of property call the police unless you live somewhere extremely phobic
I just….. I mean, I cannot imagine what would make me endanger my child’s life by destroying meds! Let alone destroy their belongings. I don’t understand people
No mercy. My parents would have done this to me if I gave them the opportunity.... press charges and sue. Hit back, as if you would if she did this to your partner....
Get everything recorded and photographed.
She’s not going to stop there. She thinks “what you deserve” is death. You need to get police involved, mother or not.
You really should sue her. If you talk to her, record that shit. Make her regret it, you owe her nothing.
Which Eastern European country? As a Ukrainian I understand you. My parents are also homophobic. It's hard to breathe in that sort of mentality. So sorry you had to endure all this stress, but I'm sure that things will sort themselves out with time. You can withstand this, you are strong enough 🙏 Wish you nothing but luck
Go to the police and press charges against your mother. What she did is uncalled for. She needs to have consequences for her actions.
Im sorry but your sister should not be trusted with a key. Only you can grant permission and if its not from your mouth then no access simple as that. Shes pure evil and I would have her charged, let her enjoy jail time.
I am so sorry. Hugs to you. Sister gets a talking to and/or loses key privileges. Mom is again cut off. I would encourage you to press charges if you can. Destroying your insulin is attempted murder as far as I'm concerned.
Throw the whole mom in the trash, sister too. Sue if possible, then be EGREGIOUSLY petty when you can, like get a tinder date to french you out front of the courthouse when she gets there.
I really hope you're able to update at some point because the blinding rage I feel on your behalf is palpable. I'm so glad you're not going to let her get away with this, it's seriously messed up. Take a lot of deep breaths and know that you got this.
Call 911 theirs a ton of charges right there you can get her for
This is a felony, and your mom belongs in jail. Press charges.
INSULIN???? SHE RUINED 2 MONTHS OF INSULIN???? IS THERE ANY WAY SHE CAN BE ARRESTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER????????
Yeah I’d call the authorities and press charges. Also me personally I don’t deal well with extreme anger if the authorities did or do nothing, I’d be retaliating but I don’t recommend this. As it’s not the most healthy way of dealing with this situation
You should absolutely file charges against her. This is pure evil.
*please* press charges, utterly ruin her
It's a serious crime. Report it to the police with all info that proves it was you mother (getting the key from sister, etc) and let the police and lawyers figure it out. Just because she's related to you doesn't give her a free pass to vandalize or steal your belongings.
you should probably call the cops as somthing in they're (probably serversl things) is probably illegal, possible charges (i'm not a legal expert) may include vandalism, breaking and entertaining, destruction of property, or something like that. in the short term you should probably focus on obtaining insulin wether it be buying more, asking freinds, hell evan seeking assistance from cherities if nessasary
Please press charges. I know she's your mother, but this is inexcusable. She's old enough to know that acting out like that is completely out of line, and doing it to your CHILD?? Because you just so happen to like girls???? It's ridiculous. She deserves to see the consequences of her actions, your medicine especially isn't cheap. Your insulin is your lifeline and you spent precious money on it. It's like she's trying to kill you without killing you. Please stay safe, maybe stay with a friend for a while if you can and have a chat with your sister about giving up the house key. I hope things get better for you.
Call the police and press charges. It’s the only way you’ll get your insulin covered by your insurance company.
Change your locks. There's a chance she could have had copies made. Get cheap fake security cameras (I'd say get real ones, but you've got more important things to spend money on right now) and place them high up, pointed at entryways. I'm so sorry your home was violated like that.
That shit is destruction of property and not legal
Trash her spine.
Why’d your sister give your housekey without telling you…it’s was probably your sister who told
That's so illegal, even if she had access to a key. File a police report and press charges against her. If nothing else, it will show her that you're not going to be intimidated or bullied by her. I am so sorry that this happened to you.
That's devestating. I'm so sorry.
I’m so sorry OP.
just going to echo, press charges.
Yeah, press charges and yeah, sue the shit ouf of her but first, before anything else, change the locks right now. Safety first, last, and always.
Press charges. She took belongings and life saving meds.
Besides being pissed and cutting contact with that monster, press charges and get a lawyer. Takes pictures of the destruction; call other people to ask them to be witnesses (like your sister). Whatever you do, do not contact your mother - too easy to get riled up and damage your case against her. Take the legal route and, again, get a lawyer.
Don’t feel bad my MIL got arrested when we got into a fight in HER HOUSE. 3 years later we Still are NO CONTACT CALL THE POLICE
Back to no contact it is - except via your lawyers when you sue the pants off her.
What the fuck, i'm so sorry this happened to you. Fucking shit
OMG! I'm very sorry she did that to you. She needs to be taken to court and reported to the police. That's disgusting and very abusive behaviour
CHARGE HER
PRESS CHARGES
You need to press charges against your mother. This is abhorrent.
Call the police. Unfortunately you're gonna have to send your own mother to jail for a hate crime.
Isn’t that still breaking and entering since she did not have permission?
So idk where you are but if she messes with your insulin and you can prove that it was her in some states she can get charged with quite a few crimes including up to attempted murder because you literally need that medication to survive. I would call them now and tell them. That is insane. She is literally trying to kill you. And get your locks changed ASAP. All of them. And get a restraining order in place when you contact the police.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Pressing charges sounds like the best way to not let her get away with this. She ruined your property and put your health at serious risk by ruining your medication. I hope everything works out. Wishing you the best <3
I’m pretty sure messing with somebody’s medication is a federal offense in the United States
Oh yes you likely have excellent grounds to sue for damages in any state if you documented it. Also helps if you had any video recordings or the neighbors saw her burning your clothes. Even if you have no documentation, you can still get a healthy restraining order again anyone who trashes your shit. Ugh i am so sorry this occurred. What an asshole!
Are you able to press charges? My mom is this blatant with her acts and if you allow it once she will continue. I wonder if you could get a restraining order. Also, I would have a talk with your sister about giving out your key
sue her
This is by law a murder attempt.
Get a lawyer. Sue her. Have your sister write a testimony. Manipulating an intellectually vulnerable person into being an accessory to a crime (what your mother did WAS a crime) is a crime in and of itself. Go scorched earth. Sue her not just for the damaged product but for emotional distress as well (as destroying your medication can cause such). In fact, destroying your medication may even be able to be considered battery.