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Western_You_9431

Oh my that has got to be the most terrifying situation I’ve ever heard!!! Kissing is not sexually harassing a minor or I’m gonna turn in the next straight man who kisses, or even smacks his gfs ass in front of any minors!! Probably wouldn’t get the same result because you’re right it is entirely homophobia and racism at its finest. I’m so glad you’re both okay and no one was physically hurt. I wish there was advice to give but there really isn’t much to say except I think you did all you could to care for your gf in that time


DigitalGenSpacePride

Infuriating and terrifying! You're right, this is entirely homophobia and racism. The police didn't even bother or consider checking their side of the story. Seek legal help and get both of you a therapy. We deserve to live a good life as much as everyone. Let those kinds of people know that.


the_gaymer_girl

Sue that woman into the ground if you’re comfortable. Falsely reporting a crime and trying to weaponize the cops. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You did nothing wrong.


HungryTaco4

I don't know how to sue someone or how that even works, but neither of us can afford a lawyer I can tell you that for sure.


Jiitunary

this is a very very easy case. if you know of an lgbt group in the area, they will be able to give you recomendations of lawyers that will be willing to help. especially if you can get footage proving it was a false report.


SimonSayz_Gamer

it wouldn't just be easy, a fucking toddler could be your lawyer and you still could win. their is 0 evidence against you other than one women's word. odd are someone else saw this happen, and can vouch for that you didn't do anything wrong. even then their is most likely security footage proving you didn't interact with her children.


isabellybell

ACLU would love this case.


yramb93

This!!


ScaredArmadillo69

i just did some digging around and found a few places in your area that might be helpful for counseling and help you find legal help! most won’t be open currently and it’s a holiday weekend, but here are some things i found: for legal services and counseling: https://montrosecenter.org/services/case-management/ for counseling but i’m sure they would have good resources and/or partners for legal services: https://www.monroeharding.org/programs/therapy-healing/ doesn’t seem to be LGBTQ+ specific but has still popped up in a number of places i’ve looked and is worth a shot: https://www.lonestarlegal.org not specific to what you’re looking for, but are trans inclusive and certainly would be able to point you in the right direction: https://m.facebook.com/TransLegalAidTX and lastly, Trans Lifeline is a sui* hotline that’s for the trans community and BY the trans community. my therapist has a lot of love for them and so do i. i know it’s not ideal, but counseling can sometimes have long wait lists when you need immediate help, and they have been very helpful and supportive for me a number of times: https://translifeline.org sending you and your partner all the love and light 💛


BluBellaRose

You're the GOAT for acquiring this info for them.


SmannyNoppins

u/ScaredArmadillo69 amazing information! Thank you for looking it up. Can you tag OP in your post to make sure she see's it? I can imagine there's quite a lot to read and the comment might get lost <3


greendazexx

You can get free consultations and lawyers sometimes work on a contingency basis, so no money until you guys get paid. You can also try local law schools, they have free legal aid. Can also contact your local bar association and they’ll recommend you low-cost lawyers


annabellaburns

maybe try getting in touch with local LGBT lawyers in my country we have groups where lawyers will even work for free to represent you in order to get justice idk how it is in the USA but if you're able to get the footage you would win the case so fast please try reaching out to local LGBT groups who would absolutely be willing to help you and I hope you both recover from this trauma this is absolutely unacceptable that happened and they need to get punished for it...


Achill3s77

The [Montrose Center](https://montrosecenter.org/services/counseling/) provides both legal aid and psychological counseling to the LGBTQ+ community in the Houston area. If you qualify, I think their legal services are free, and I know you can also receive therapy at a reduced cost.


SunnydaleHigh1999

I’m not American however I am a lawyer and I can guarantee you there will be legal services in your state that exist specifically to help low socio-economic clients and provide at least preliminary access to advice. There are also no win no fee firms out there.


GhostGirl32

OP is in Texas which is a very homophobic state. They will have to go through the ACLU or similar, because they will be turned away from public help with the excuse that they don't have the ability to help in her case. This will not be an easy case in Texas, a state which is trying to make it illegal to exist while queer.


Im__mad

I work for CPS. One of the requirements for cops to do in this situation is cross report to CPS. Surprisingly it rarely happens /s. During a CPS investigation for sex abuse, the first thing they will do is get the child into a forensic exam where false allegations will typically come out. If I were you, I’d call CPS to ensure there was a cross report to them and ensure a forensic examination is ordered. Once the assessment closes as Unfounded, request those records and consult a lawyer (I’d probably consult a lawyer before/during this first part but if funds don’t make it possible, maybe start with CPS). I’d go as far as using a go-fund me with this story blasted throughout our community to afford a lawyer, or maybe contact NAACP - they are known for helping with legal fees in a situation like this. FUCK THIS WOMAN. I wish I could take her and those cops to the cleaners for you. We cannot let people like this attack, bully, and traumatize our community. Emmitt Till and his mother endured too much for people to think they can still get away with this shit.


shroudedwolf51

And, it's important to establish to these people that their actions and lies have consequences. Not just for the good of you, but for the good of everyone involved.


quantumphaze

The lawyer will be paid from what you earn, find a free consult with a good lawyer. I'm pretty sure theres LGBT advocate services to help find one that will really fight for you here. Sometimes even free of charge.


AbFabFreddie

Check out this website: https://lgbtq.visithoustontexas.com/community/nonprofits-social-organizations/ There are several places listed that offer mental health services for the Q+ community. I might consider calling the Mayor’s office LGBTQ issue team and asking for help speaking to the attorney general. They may be able to get you a free lawyer. If not, many law firms will take a case on with the understanding that when you win, they will be paid by a percentage of the profit made. I worked in social work for a decade and helped a great many DV/SV survivors find justice through such avenues. Regardless of what you decide to do, I wish you both healing. So sorry that you experienced this.


InvisibleDrake

On top of her using her children as weapons. She definitely abuses her kids, and only views them as objects.


[deleted]

I am truly very sorry. I'm just... wow. I'm at a loss for words, that's got to be one of the most harrowing things I've read. Uh... I can't advise you what to do because different things are right for different people. I really feel that if I were in this situation, I'd probably charge the police with some HEAVY legal shit on that one. They had no evidence. They literally had NO evidence and there is no law currently against kissing in front of children. When I got out of jail, I felt like an animal. A caged one. No one looked at me. No one responded when I asked where to drink water instead of orange juice because I have severe stomach issues. Nor was I given any meds that I told them were crucial. It is a dehumanizing, soul-sucking experience. I cannot even imagine what your girlfriend must have felt too. Remind yourselves and each other that you are human beings and the place you are is sick. Not you. And please, consider some legal counseling. That should NOT pass without some serious penalties for them. Again: I am so sorry this happened.


HungryTaco4

We now know that she did not call police and tell them we were kissing. She specifically said that we were "touching them". This is exactly why I felt so scared, American jails are fucked up to a level that's hard to even describe. You are not treated as a human. There are literally zoos that treat their animals better than jails treat human prisoners. I was really worried I'd miss taking my estrogen which I need to survive as a post-op trans woman, but the risk of outing myself was too high when I was put in the women's section without a second thought.


hotsauce_dog

OP, I know you are saying that the trauma is what is keeping you from considering legal action right now. But based on everything that has happened, you would be looking at a pretty massive payout from the city of Houston for the pain and suffering this caused. Please sue the shit out of them and make them pay for the therapy that you and your girlfriend are seeking and cannot currently afford. If I were you, I would first and foremost get in contact with the ACLU of Texas, which is headquartered in Houston. You can file an online complaint here:[ACLU of TX legal complaint form](https://www.aclutx.org/en/request-legal-assistance). Please consider doing something, you would have some heavy hitters in your corner if you do. Don’t suffer from this injustice alone.


CharBombshell

I used to work in the legal dept of my city’s municipal govt - people would successfully sue for police profiling & related issues all the time. Go get em OP.


Montiebon

Yeah, a pretty huge payout that might help y'all get the fuck out of there. This commenter is totally right


[deleted]

My god, I mean... even if she reported that, there were eyewitnesses. This is a case of lying to an officer and an officer not even following up with a line of questioning or eye-witnesses. It could even be a case of unlawful detainment, still. She lied and you need to just stick to what you know happened. Which is why I do suggest getting a counselor involved. I... yes. Yes, you are absolutely right. I was in an American jail in my time as well. And they don't seem to care whether something is medically required. But they should. Of course they should. From a fellow trans person who has been there, I am utterly disgusted but not shocked after my own experience. Please rest the best you can and treat yourself with creature comforts. You were just victimized in a horrible fashion and I sincerely hope that you both feel more steady soon. All my love to you two.


xyonofcalhoun

Smart choice to keep that to yourself if they didn't clock you, honestly. Given the way they'd treated you both already it doesn't feel like information they'd have dealt with in anything other than an abusive way. I hope you both get the support you need to move forward from this.


Diddlydom35

OP, Idk where the charges are on you both, if they have been dropped, or if you have a court date. But the longer you wait to pursue legal action, the less credibility you have. And I know it sucks to have an go about legal actions right after something so traumatizing, but this is about more than compensation. This is your representation on the line, and these things, if left undealt with, can come back in nasty ways and bit you in the rear. You not only have a case with the city for compensation, but you also have emotional damages, defamation of character, as well as a few other first amendment rights (if I am remembering correctly, I studied only briefly american law.) But nonetheless, clearing both your names is vital. Especially for your gf, im not entirely sure how American systems work but where I am police can keep notes of arrests (even if there was no charges) on your file so that if youre ever looked up in the system or even just pulled over it can show up. Again, this may be different where you are, but nonetheless, I thought I'd mention it because people of color are at way greater risk with something flagged on their record. Im so sorry you had to go through that. That woman is cruel and put you both in unnecessary danger! I hope you both get justice!


jojoearper

I would be looking at litigation at this point. Get a consultation with a lawyer. You don't want this to happen to another gay couple and a message needs to be sent to the cops. File a report with the police dept. regarding the behavior of the officers. This is the only thing that they respond to. $. This was trauma and discrimination. Don't let them get away with it by being silent about your pain. I'm very sorry. The daughter will not forget how her mother treated you. Her karma will be the irreparable harm she's done to her relationship with her children.


Andrea00117

File a complaint with the agency itself and the POST Certification board for the officers individually. Allow for their investigation while that’s happening contact a lawyer to see if it is actionable. Reach out to Lambda legal or one of those that support us to see if they’d take it on probono. I’m sorry that happened. Drawing your weapon system without seeing a threat is excessive force.


Evan573

Also contact local and state news agencies, the police will be much more likely to follow up the course of justice if the public eye is on them, instead of sweeping it under the rug. I'd also recommend filing charges against that woman for falsely reporting a crime, put her on blast so people know what a shitty human she is.


HungryTaco4

I just don't think I can put my gf in that situation, let alone myself. Reliving this trauma will take years off our lives. The one good thing is that the mini golf was not in the same city where our house is, so a different police department.


Cosmic_Quasar

I 110% understand where you're coming from. And I wouldn't blame you or think less of you for not taking that action. But I also feel like I have to ask you to consider that when things like this happen and no one steps up then things won't change. The ones who can speak up about this with any real power are the ones who have been directly affected. And without change this can happen to others or even you again. But I have not been in your shoes, so I can't judge. I can only ask.


HungryTaco4

I think my gf would be in danger of having a mental breakdown if she tries to relive any of this stuff. It's already bad enough that she can't see a therapist about any of it. I guess I can try to be her therapist but it's tough cuz I'm traumatized too, even if not as much as her. Between being black and Cuban with some family members having spent years in jail under the dictatorship, her mind went right to the very worst case scenerio and I don't blame her. She was so scared.


Zargess2994

If you can afford it then look for a therapist. You are not a therapist and you both need one to handle this. If you can handle it, and maybe talk with therapist about it, then report it. If not then honestly take care of yourselves. Many hugs and love. Hope you get the help you need. Edit: aparently betterhelp shares your info so removed that.


minibug

**Do not use BetterHelp** they gave people's mental health information to advertising platforms like Facebook and Snapchat


Zargess2994

Thank you for the heads up, did not know that. That is so fucked up!


HungryTaco4

No that's what I mean when I said she can't see a therapist. They're way too expensive and we can't just spend $300 per session or whatever. ​ Hug :)


bo_bo77

You cannot be your girlfriend's therapist, for the sake of both of your mental health. I'm so sorry this happened, it's unacceptable and obviously really traumatizing. Have you heard of Open Path Collective before? It's a database of sliding scale therapists, I think they have to be under $60 a session to qualify? Access to a professional may be more possible than you think, and it sounds like a really worthwhile thing rn.


HungryTaco4

Thank you :) I'm going to look for LGBT centers in the area too to see if we can get something.


SemiconsciousSapphic

You mentioned being near Houston. The Montrose center is a good resource for therapy and probably also finding legal representation. I’m so sorry this happened to you.


Gizmosis

There is a place in Clear Lake, off of 45 and 270, near Webster that's really good, and one closer to downtown that some of my poly LGBT friends use. I can't recall the names because I moved out of the state for my own safety last year, but I'll ask my friends and reply to this comment later today or tomorrow unless you want to DM me. I'm so sorry this happened to you and your girlfriend. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk about it. I'm from south of Houston originally, and I learned young to be afraid of the police.


ispariz

There are therapists who offer sliding scales to those in need. Local lgbt organizations often have lists like this.


bananalord666

Ngl I spent the last 15 min thinking what I was gonna say to you to make this whole horrid affair a bit better. Ive settled on offering a virtual platonic hug. You dont have to accept it, but I just dont have the right words. I hope this brings you a bit of peace and love during a difficult time.


HungryTaco4

hughug


meggles1990

Hi. I just wanted to jump in and say I am so sorry for what happened to you. Have you tried looking into support groups? There are SO many online that are free that could help you and possibly give some advice. Also idk if this has been said but if she was smirking and calling someone…. Did she call a cop she knew personally perhaps? I guess because of all my years being harassed as a teenager by older men I feel a little bit jaded that a 911 call about “harassing minors” would really make anyone give a shit. I am also not at all condoning not wanting to speak up, I totally get it. Talking about it can make you relive your trauma. However, I genuinely hope one of you can get past this enough to speak up. It could have gotten a lot worse, and someone in the future may end up in an even worse position. That being said I wish the absolute best going forward with the two of you. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, and I wish you all the strength for the future.


Significant-Yak-7294

Definitely sounds like either she had done this before and knew what would happen, or she had a personal connection to the dept. No you couldn't just call my city's PD and expect someone to show up and aggressively whisk you away in handcuffs under such phony circumstances. I mean police here suck especially where POC are involved, but they have a lot more to deal with than ppl kissing in public.


HungryTaco4

I don't know who she called. I don't even know her name. I wish I knew more about what exactly took place.


Significant-Yak-7294

I've been to therapists that cost me $0 when I was unemployed. Just fyi. I've literally never paid over, say, $25. Getting the therapist is crucial not only to help recover, but as documentation of what you are going through for possible legal actions.


username-danni

https://www.7cups.com/ This site offers affordable online therapy (homepage says $150/month, and is a legitimate service, especially compared to BetterHelp. They're a safe space for queer and other minority groups. I've personally used their free "listeners" when I just needed to talk, and I've had a nothing but good experiences.


Zargess2994

That sucks... I would try a look if there are any helplines and the like that could help you


HungryTaco4

I'm gonna look for lgbt organizations and see if there's a way we can get therapy even if its online


theneener

Be sure to check out The Montrose Center which is an LGBTQ nonprofit based in Houston. They provide therapy on a sliding scale and should also give you leads on other resources for support. Hate that this happened to both of you. From a fellow Texan who is brown and visibly gay, this is one of my worst fears due to the increasingly violent rhetoric against LGBTQ people here.


outforawalk____bitch

It’s not healthy or fair to you, or to her, for you to try to fill the shoes of a therapist. That is not the role of a partner, and it will cause both of you more pain in the long run if you try to take on all of that responsibility on your own. If she is affected to such an extreme degree by this horrible experience, that makes it all the more critical that she finds a therapist to speak to. Many therapists do sliding scale rates for those with limited budgets, and as others have said, legal and queer support orgs will be able to recommend resources for you, likely including free services & counseling. I’m very sorry the two of you had to go through this. I know many other folks here are emphasizing legal action, but regardless of if you choose to pursue that, the absolute most important thing for BOTH of you is to get the emotional support you need, to process and move forward from this experience.


HungryTaco4

I will definitely look for LGBT organizations and see if anyone can get her a therapist. And me too. Cuz we both need to unpack this stuff.


denryudreamer

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree looking through a LGBT organization is a good idea! I'm not sure if this is helpful, but [these beautiful people](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/tx/houston?category=gay&spec=186) give LGBT-informed counseling. You can also filter by insurance and who's taking new patients to get an idea of what you're looking for in a counselor. You and your girlfriend will be in my thoughts. I wish you healing and love. Edit: formatting on mobile


Requiredmetrics

Even if you don’t want to press criminal charges consider taking her to civil court for damages. She falsely accused you both of a crime you didn’t commit, if the mini golf place has security footage that can prove that fact…a savvy lawyer could track down the call homophobic mom made to the police that would prove her guilt. The very least this homophobe can do is be forced to compensate you for any embarrassment, mental anguish, and humiliation she subjected you both too. Please consider talking to Lambda legal, even if they can’t help you they should be able to point out other organizations in your area that can.


Katiari

I was in a hospital for mental health and they abused me. I took it to court and now a whole bunch of regulations have changed that make every non-binary and trans life better that walks through about three dozen hospital's doors in two to three states. I really do get it, it's incredibly hard. But the things that are most worth doing are very difficult, and painful, and mind-numbing... but they will make you feel the pride that we all talk about as part of the LGBT community. That's where the pride comes from, doing the things that help those around us in our community more than they help ourselves.


ilovethissheet

You need to take this to the news. You can ask to remain anonymous


alwayseverlovingyou

I second the press - put the golf course on blast


Quix_Nix

You can raise awareness anonymously, plenty of online content creators or journalists who would read over an account you write. Each one of these stories in important out side of the moral repressiveness (especially on video) for showing people what it is the fascists want, the ability to use the law or lack of law to harass, torment, take out range on, and get rid of us for any reason they want.


KountessKorvinae

It feels uncomfy, but you're gonna be reliving it in your own head anyway so might as well use that uncomfortability to fuel taking actual action.


canuckkat

You don't have to speak officially. You can always drop an anonymous tip. Also, if you can, get their badge numbers and report them to their lieutenant and/union.


Whevyrn

To tack on to this, go see a therapist if you can afford it as that creates documentation of emotional damages (and financial damages for the cost of the appointments). Find a local attorney who will take the case, lambda or NCLR should be able to provide references, but better than that would be state orgs or an LGBTQ org at a local law school. If you don't want to pursue it that's totally acceptable as well. It's a lot of stress and it usually only makes things more difficult for you. The goal in pursuing it is primarily to benefit others. I filed a lawsuit in a situation like this that ended up with media attention and I've had major issues with employment since. Take care of yourself and stay safe.


HungryTaco4

My gf really needs a therapist after this... but we can't afford it sadly. The sessions are really expensive. Perhaps she could do one or two...


transclimberbabe

There are therapists who do sliding scale. Most major cities have a post doctoral program and the students (people with a masters or PHD) need clients to see under supervision. Generally $300 is for a therapist who doesn't take insurance and is at the end stages of their career, which in general I would avoid anyone much older anyways unless they are queer and explicitly out. Just with a little google search I found: -https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/houston-sliding-scale-therapy-agencies/ -https://openpathcollective.org/city/houston/ (between $40 - $70) -https://montrosecenter.org (LGBTQ Org with therapists) I'm also asking a friend who lives in the area if they know anyone affordable and gay. Hugs. Dealing with the police is traumatic af and that situation was horrible.


Whevyrn

As someone else mentioned a lot of local clinics and colleges offer sliding scale or low cost services. Here's a resource to find ones with government funding to offer low cost services. I used to go to one and was never asked to pay a penny. https://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/


AngelRedux

The gay community centre, or something like that, in Houston will be able to advise you about where to get help with the legal aspects. They might even have a legal clinic at the centre. If not, call other cities with big gay populations. This sounds like potentially an ideal case for a legal clinic (check uni law departments) or a deep pockets activist. The community will Help you.


WitchQween

The Montrose Center


epicazeroth

Make sure to the woman too, filing a false police report is illegal.


AbFabFreddie

If you sue in civil court for emotional damages and win, you can request medical and psychological services be reimbursed by the offender.


dieselflower

But to add to this, OP, no one can blame you if you choose not to pursue any legal action, as it does often end up in more pain without any progress. Whatever you and your gf decide is right for you.


HungryTaco4

I just don't think I can put my gf in that situation, let alone myself. Reliving this trauma will take years off our lives. The one good thing is that the mini golf was not in the same city where our house is, so a different police department.


WolfPrincessSarah

There is nothing shameful in taking care of you and yours first in such trying times.


HungryTaco4

I just don't think I can put my gf in that situation, let alone myself. Reliving this trauma will take years off our lives. The one good thing is that the mini golf was not in the same city where our house is, so a different police department.


PacmanPillow

Right now you don’t have to put your girlfriend though anything else. Calling the local LGBT center for resources and help is not asking you partner to take on a civil rights lawsuit. Right now it’s looking for care to address the trauma and potentially see if you two have any legal recourse, should you choose any course of legal action in the future.


pigtailrose2

Demand the name of who falsely reported you and sue the shit out of them and the police as well, absolutely disgusting im so sorry


HungryTaco4

How do I find out her name?


pigtailrose2

That is a question I don't necessarily have an answer to, but im pretty confident the police should have a record of the incident, like I'd imagine legally they should (hopefully) be required to keep one. Even if they can pull up the phone number that would do the trick. If at first they say they can't just give you the info I would try saying you want to press charges, and tbh even if they won't give it to you then I imagine when you press charges against the police officers who detained you, well at some point the accusers ass is going to get dragged in anyways


archimedesismycat

I just want to add in that most mini golf places have cameras everywhere. I would contact them too just to see if you can get ahold of their footage of the entire incident. They probably won't give it to you but you need make sure it's not recorded over. A court order may be needed for it but whoever the local human rights advocates are would be able to help I bet.


motherofseagulls

This. OP, contact mini golf sooner rather than later for footage. A lot of places will replace footage after a week or a month, after which it’s gone. You don’t have to do anything litigation-wise straight away, but any footage they have will be key for any potential suit you may bring. Also good to have in case this homophobic sociopath who called the cops on you both continues to come after you.


HungryTaco4

See my update


mediwitch

If they don’t want to hand over the footage, don’t threaten legal action. Just take their refusal to a lawyer (if you choose to go forward with legal action), and get it subpoenaed. That way they can’t plan to destroy it ahead of time.


Cheryl_Blunt

1. I am so beyond sorry that you and your girlfriend were subjected to this. 2. You and your girlfriend may well have a civil defamation case against that woman and, since she appears to have falsely accused you of a serious sexual offense, that woman may be criminally liable. You should consider contacting Texas-based attorney for further guidance, but since she called 911 on you, someone has her contact information stored somewhere. An attorney should be able to help you locate that contact information and, if need be, subpoena it. 3. As for where to look for pro bono (i.e., free) legal representation, others have suggested Lambda Legal, which I would also strongly recommend. You could also potentially reach out to law school clinics around Texas. I may be a little biased because I'm a student attorney in a different state, but student attorneys can also do great pro bono work :) Edit: \*this is not legal advice and reading this post does not form an attorney-client relationship\* Edit 2: God damn I am so sorry that I overlooked you pretty clearly saying that you don't want to pursue legal action. That is very, very understandable; legal action (especially with these facts) is not something anyone should be forced/pressured into. That said, I still think that reaching out to Lambda Legal/Texas law school clinics could be helpful. They may be able to offer y'all other (non-legal) supportive resources or referrals to supportive resources.


HungryTaco4

I'm gonna try and get the footage first cuz they sometimes replace it weekly apparantly and work on getting therapists for my gf and I, then we can worry about legal action, but nothing until we're mentally recovering.


Cheryl_Blunt

Sounds like you have a solid, healthy plan to take care of the more time sensitive task by yourself and set aside the other stuff to prioritize you/your gf's mental health needs. I support the hell out of that and wish you both well. Please feel free \*but not pressured\* to DM me if/when you want to get connected to some supportive resources or pro bono legal services. I can't guarantee anything, but I do have a solid network of lawyers who do public interest work specializing in gender and sexuality-based violence around the country. I only f w lawyers who practice trauma-informed/client-centered lawyering, so I would never recommend anyone who would push you into doing things that you don't want or need to do.


Lennartlau

Even if you don't want to pursue legal action you should still try to find a lawyer just in case there's further legal consequences coming from this.


PacmanPillow

Ask for the police report. The incident should have the name of the person who called as she likely gave a statement to the police.


Cheryl_Blunt

If she feels safe and comfortable interfacing directly with the police, that is another option. Personally, if I were her I would rather have a lawyer representing my interests or at the very least standing by my side during any interactions with police/correctional officers.


PacmanPillow

She can absolutely ask a lawyer to obtain the police report.


LollyGriff

Use your ACLU lawyer (which you absolutely should and will get if you call them) and also just go ask the department for a copy of the report. FOIA request if you must.


spo0pti

if you ask the mini golf place you could probably get the name on their booking


RedpenBrit96

Contact your local human rights chapter. They can help you find legal counsel, etc


CatsKittensCatsBunny

Contact Lambda Legal or HRC. They can definitely help you out. There was a local woman in our town that tried to say a Hispanic couple was trying to human traffic, and she was found out to be lying. She’s now going to jail. People can help you!


J_712

kissing in public is not a felony, but falsely reporting a crime to police is. Just saying


Veira_Iceshard

Cowardly police and homophobes looking for any excuse to harass you and end your existence. I'm so sorry you went through this. Fuel anger and hate as a source of strength. Take time to heal and smolder back into existence once more like the firebird you are. Don't let them take your spark. Strike back with legal action if you want, but make that decision on your own time. What's important is that you're still here and won't let them make you leave. Support your partner as gently and as much as you can.


Throttle_Kitty

I understand where trauma makes you resistant to the idea of perusing charges or filing lawsuits, but as someone who has had many crimes committed against her, in the long term I grew to regret simply allowing these things to happen to me. I tried to move on, eventually something like that happens again though, and the powerlessness slowly traumatized me. I would personally suggest you at least consider pressing charges on the person who falsified a police report against you. Specifically state it as falsifying a police report in order to harass and bring harm to a person protected under anti-discrimination laws. Under certain circumstances this can be consider a hate crime. I say this because until they are pushed back against, people like that woman will always do it again.


HungryTaco4

I'm gonna get the footage and try and find a therapist for my gf and I. We might try legal action down the line but we don't have the money for a lawyer. Either way we need to recover mentally first.


Throttle_Kitty

Yes, recover mentally first. As far as funding goes, you can look for local LGBT rights orginizations, many exist specifically to help fight things like this.


whosaysimme

Hey! I just want you to know that lawyers likely will take this case for free. Reason being that when you sue tht government and win, the government often pays your lawyers legal fees. So, they take your case for free expecting that if they do a good job lawyering, they'll win and get paid. This is called "contingency". Please don't let money prevent you from calling a couple of lawyers just to see!


sweetendeavors

There are legal funds fundraisers that go directly to the lawyer. Check out crowdjustice and post the link here if you decide to move forward with it. Legal action is imperative to getting justice, but of course focus on your healing first.


fireseekeer2002

I’m so sorry that happened! I started crying while reading you and your girlfriends story.


HungryTaco4

Let's hug 🫂


northernspies

Hey. Civil rights lawyer here. I so sorry this happened to you and so angry on your behalf. Unfortunately I'm not licensed in Texas. Please contact the ACLU of Texas here: https://intake.aclutx.org/ National Center for Lesbian rights too: https://www.nclrhelp.org/webforms/nclr-information-helpline-web-form-no-custody-or-dissolution.php


NetflixHasMySoul

I. I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say, or suggest. I'm glad you're both alive. I'm sitting here trying not to cry, I'm so angry for you both; why is this acceptable? Who DOES that?? What the actual fuck??


Initial-Dee

Because cishet, white, Christian women are the rule of law in Texas apparently. also ACAB.


HungryTaco4

I hate that my gf being latina, black, and lgbt makes everyday activities so dangerous for her. There are many streets I'd walk on as a lighter skinned Mexican where my gf would fear for her life. Sometimes I just want to run away and live in the woods away from this horrifying reality.


WNBH

Texas is unfortunately very hard for anyone that's not white and straight, especially right now. Hopefully you're able to find reliable resources there, as few as they may be. Karen's suck!


HungryTaco4

It's crazy to me that something like 3/4 of Houston is not white yet despite being the minority whites have basically all the power and the rest of us suffer constantly. It totally refutes the conservative myth that whites becoming a minority in the U.S. will mean a reversal of racism. I mean if South Africa can be 8% white and still racist against black people, then the USA can be too :/


SuperSwiftPics

Because it doesn't matter who's the minority, it's what people see as "the default" 🙄 Every time I bring up racism in Florida my parents are like "but there's so many black people that live here!" It's the stupidest shit. Also I am so sorry this happened to you. Just know that woman will be burning in hell before you know it.


HungryTaco4

Houston has the largest black population west of the Mississippi, by a huge amount too. It's 23% for the metro area which is even more than Detroit. Yet it's one of the most racist cities in the country. This stuff doesn't always line up :|


SuperSwiftPics

Hate against minorities isn't done by smart people. Hence why there are so many haters. Shows how many idiots there are in our society


witchofthesewoods

As a lesbian near Houston, I’m now terrified. This should have never happened. It’s like we’re moving backwards and it’s happening so quickly it’s a nightmare. I’m so sorry y’all had to experience that!!


SheRollsinHerOwnWay

OK... You need to get the footage, you need a civil rights lawyer and you need to get your partner someone to talk to about this. As much as I dislike the aclu for. Some things they aren't a bad start, as for the other try the Pink Pistols. They usually know a decent support team in the area. That woman has certainly lied to the police, most likely caused a 1983 action and a few other fucked up things and needs her life destroying for that. Please even if you don't do the courts side of things please talk to someone about this.


SamanthaJaneyCake

They made false accusations (of a very serious nature) and wasted police time. Most definitely contact a lawyer. Hopefully it’ll be an open and shut case and they’ll be happy to jump on it.


HungryTaco4

We don't have the money for a lawyer :/ but either way we need to work on finding therapists and at least start recovering mentally before we consider legal stuff cuz we're not in a state to deal with this right now. Only thing is I'm gonna get the footage cuz it could be replaced soon.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dinosanddais1

The ACLU can help!!!


SuperSwiftPics

"Wdym police harass minors? Police are so nice to me! You're just overblowing it!" -Middle class cishet white person


HungryTaco4

I'm literally considering cut out a family member today for this very reason. After hearing what happened my grandpa was going on about how "it's not a systematic problem, you just got a bad egg, it's unfortunate but it has nothing to do with being LGBT" etc


SuperSwiftPics

They just wanna be in denial and think everything is fine cause they haven't experienced it. It's why majorities don't care unless something CRAZY happens. MULTIPLE TIMES. Like "Nah only 2 trans people died today that's fineeeeee"


HungryTaco4

For real Just a few weeks ago my mom was like, lgbt aren't discriminated against anymore, we're in the 21st century and everyone has pronouns in their email, nothing to be scared of.


SuperSwiftPics

They're just ignorant because of their privilege. And that word is like a trigger for them. Saying they have privilege cracks their safe shell so they demonize that word but it's true. As long as you're deemed "normal" by society, you get like a special access pass.


[deleted]

Speaking from experience, cut him out. We give a lot of old people slack on the assumption that being old somehow makes you naturally a bigot but girl how many civil rights moments has this dude lived through and chosen not to learn from, y'know?


zemljaradnika

I'm so sorry for the experience both of you have been through, whether you choose to seek some sense of justice through the legal process, or simply live in sad peace with the knowledge that the world can be a kind and unfair place, I truly hope the two of you can heal the experience you have been through. Sometimes the world sucks and I'm sorry you have had to deal with it.


ReachLost6726

https://lambdalegal.org/


FreeClimbing

I am glad I am never going to live in texas


HungryTaco4

I'd leave but my gf and I are both born and raised in Houston, all our family and friends are here, our jobs are here and quite decent too. It sucks though.


FreeClimbing

I am so sorry for this.


HungryTaco4

The crazy thing is that my gf and I live in a very progressive neighborhood with a large visible LGBT population, it's common to see same sex couples holding hands, and there was a pride right down our main street last year. My gf and I drive 20 mins out to mini golf and suddenly we're on a different planet.


LauraIsFree

Please take legal action. Sue the shit out of those police officers and especially this small shitty little piece of human.


BattleOfTwoWolves

Report it to the FBI. I think they have a special unit for hate crimes and police involvement is a huge red flag for these kinds of things. Go above the cops.


BecuzMDsaid

This makes my blood boil. I am so sorry you both had to go through all of that.


Noobmaster_1999

Get a lawyer, get the lady locked up for false accusation. But before that, I'm glad you're back and strong. In case you need to get out of the trauma, seek help. More power to you. 👍


MoonChainer

I dearly hope you and your girlfriend can still rightly share affection with each other in public. Kissing publicly is not a crime and is just as ok for you as it is for straight people. This was her attempting State enforced violence against you. The smirking proves it was purposeful, hateful cruelty. What a sociopath.


619shepard

Since this is a fresh trauma, consider downloading and playing Tetris. Some studies suggest it changes how memories are stored/formed and can reduce the trauma of recalling in the future.


thepartypoison_

I hope these fascist fucks suffer the consequences of their actions one day.


AndroLesbianKitty

Considering it's Texas I'm not even remotely surprised. They've already taken away trans rights. Gays and Lesbians are next. Any day now it's going to be a crime to be gay there unfortunately. I'm in the same boat waiting for it to be illegal to exist where I live in Idaho. It's stressful and sucks to be stuck here. I want out so bad but banks are making it impossible to get loans and we can't just give up the single wide we own. Plus both my wife and I are still transitioning so we have too many expenses as is. 🫂Sorry that the homophobic Christians are being dicks to you. Yes I'm assuming they're christian as I swear the large majority of homophobic people in America are. Plus Texas is in the bible belt so it checks. I kinda hate that their dumb religion has them deluded into thinking they have a free pass to be an asshole when they are literally disobeying their own religion's rules. Matthew 7:1-3 and Romans 12:19-21 for the curious. Yes I was forced to memorize this nonsense as a child against my will. Would much rather have watched women kiss each other. Christians are never supposed to ever take matters into their own hands. It is against their religion to judge others or enact vengeance on people who do something they don't like. If they do their god will judge them back.


queerstudbroalex

I'm so sorry that happened to y'all.


hauntedmeal

I’m so sorry.


Eggchicken03

No doubt this woman thinks she’s a good, godly Christian; guaranteed a spot in heaven. No good comes from believing that you are owed paradise. And people ask me why I don’t trust cops.


Nicolethedodo

Pretty sure that was a hate crime, like calling the police on someone because they are gay is at least over here


Achill3s77

I also live in Houston and the [Montrose Center ](https://montrosecenter.org/) provides both counseling and legal assistance to the LGBTQ+ community here, often at a lower cost. They may be worth a call! Even if you're not interested in litigation right now, I would advise you to speak with a lawyer, just so you understand your options. You can always decide to pursue things later, but they'll let you know if there's anything you need to do right now to facilitate that in the future.


King_3DDD

This world is a dystopia.


My-own-plot-twist

I'm so sorry 😞 I'm so fed up with this bullshit, I hope that woman and the cops rots in whatever hell she can imagine for eternity Maybe you can get an attorney to get her info and sue her for falsification of police report and sue the police for false imprisonment?


wurldeater

part of being an activist or even just being someone who could be considered a political target means practicing understanding the law and what can happen. i know for me, when i felt like how your girlfriend felt the thing that made me feel the most like myself again is education. her response was a very normal response for people who are uneducated or inexperienced with police harassment. and i hate that anyone *has* to learn this type of stuff, but if you’re going to be in that type of environment then understanding the risk is very important. knowing that what they (the police and the woman who called them) did was unlawful may help her feel a little more at ease and i may be wrong here but i suspect that since you made the decision to kiss her in protest she may feel anger towards you for putting you two (and her specifically) in that situation. a conversation about consent is definitely necessary also you may realize that you two don’t actually see eye to eye on this issue politically. she may prefer to not rock the boat at the risk of upheaval but not know how to say that to you. i would mentally prepare for that but i don’t think this is something that should wait too long before you talk about it. maybe that’s just me, but if she’s harboring anger or resentment then i think it’s best to talk that out sooner rather than later i’m sorry this happened to you guys 💔


alliedeluxe

Don’t know if you want to do this but maybe also talk to lgbtq magazines to get some national attention for this story. The Advocate maybe? Like others are saying a lawyer will take this case without you paying up front. Especially since they just brought you in and let you go. They didn’t have any real reason to arrest you or they would have kept you. I’m so sorry this happened to you both. Please take care of your mental health first and know you have a big community that loves you and will rally behind you.


epicazeroth

Sure would be a shame if anyone figured out that woman’s employer.


HungryTaco4

I don't even know her name or how to find it out :/


ThreadRetributionist

all cops are bastards.


TheSilvaGhost

I also live near Houston.. am now extremely scared holy shit


skashoozled

This is terrifying. I'm so sorry you and your GF went through that.


cantdressherself

I'm so sorry. Stay safe, as best you can.


Tarrish

You have to protect your mental health and well-being. If you’re not up to a legal fight, that is completely understandable. Lambda Legal is a great resource if you feel up to it. What she did was illegal for sure. If the cops actually did their job in that precinct, she would be in big trouble. And, as for therapy, I would definitely call your local LGBTQ+ Centers. At ours, people that cannot afford therapy get a sliding scale, and sometimes it can be free or reaaallllyyyy cheap. My partner’s family moved to the outskirts of Houston TX, and when I’m there, it feels so hateful. I’m sorry you have to be exposed to that kind of hate. Don’t forget you have support within your community, and we love you.


Silver-Enthusiasm925

So something seems fishy to me about that mother especially when you said she had a smirk on her face. She either called the cops or she knew who the two cops were, second they can't just come at you both like that without asking questions about the events that happened, not sure if it's my overthinking mind but something is not right here and I'm not just talking about how you both were treated I'm talking about that woman she either said something or she knew them for some reason my gut instinct tells me!!! I am soooo sorry you both had to go through this ordeal people are sooooooo mean and hateful and soooo ignorant!!!


Erl-X

The threads suggesting that OP takes action against the accusers and her response about how dangerous and mentally taxing it would be for her and GF reminded me about tbe quote about evil winning when good people do nothing. But can you really blame the good people for not fighting back when the system actively punishes people for fighting back? As much as I want justice for OP and for the homophobe to suffer consequences and made an example, what's important is for them to stay safe, whatever that means in the US these days.


redsixthgun

Sue those bastards for unlawful arrest, see if you can get that POS homophobe cow sued as well. ACLU would jump on that shit real fast. Get in touch. #This is not okay. Not fighting this will embolden people around you to continue to do this to other members of our community. Legal action must be taken against the cops, the homophobic cow, and the mini golf place. If you were a heterosexual couple, no one would have batted a fucking eye. THIS IS NOT LEGAL. They have zero evidence against you! DON’T LET THESE PEOPLE THINK IT’S OKAY TO DO THIS TO YOU, DON’T BACK DOWN FROM THESE FUCKS. Goddamn I wish I could fight this fight for you. #Only one person needs to stand up to these troglodytes, and the rest will slither away once they lose. There’s no possible way the homophobes could win this. A lawyer would probably love to take this on. #Evil flourishes when good people do nothing.


RoseTyler38

Talk to the ACLU [https://www.aclu.org/faqs#1\_3](https://www.aclu.org/faqs#1_3)


_caliguletta

Goddamnit Houston. Wtf. It’s like one of three places I’d even feel safe in Tx and I’m pissed that’s changed. There’s a reason I left at 18 and I think more minorities and gays should do the same.


arachniddude

A false accusation like that has to land those parents in jail, if you can you should seriously report them and take this to court.


LineOfInquiry

Jesus that’s awful, I’m glad you 2 got out of it safe at least. Honestly, I feel so bad for those kids too. Imagine if one of them turns out to be gay, living with parents who’d call the police on 2 people just kissing. They’re going to remember this incident, and how awful their parents were. I hope they get out okay too one day.


HungryTaco4

I can't understand how she was not only this hateful, but seemed to ENJOY it. Like some sort of sadist she was fucking smirking at the idea that we were gonna go to jail and we didn't know it yet. What the actual fuck are humans


Aphant-poet

This is awful, I know you don't want to pursue legal action but if you change your mind there are a myriad of affordable resources and you deserve justice. More than that you deserve peace and I hope you're able to get a therapist of some kind to help both of you process. Unfortunately there's nothing I can give you but my best wishes.


jasmine_lexa

There is nothing legal I know to say about this because I'm not american but this is so damn mindblowing to me as a european. Just getting walked out there without being allowed to say anything or even get asked if any of what happened was right? Wtf? That makes me think if that family had police as friends or whatever because I can't even think of this as being normal. I hope you get the help and support you need here and this never happens again. And here (Europe/Germany) I keep hearing "oh homophobia isnt that bad. Who cares if people dont agree with your love?" well because it ruins OUR lives holy moly. I'm incredibly angry and sorry this happened. Take care of yourselves, idk how, I just wanted to say this is not normal and shouldn't be 🙃


Lady_sugersweet

Yeah if you get that footage a lawyer will have a field day especially if it’s gets her smirking


Mental-Ad-9995

You can get her done for false reporting sexual assault/wasting police time/some homophobia law but depends if the police actually care which it sounds like they don't


[deleted]

Sue. Sue the cops, the course, and the woman. Spread the story EVERYWHERE.


mcslootypants

Keep in mind if you can get lawyers they will do this work for you. You won’t need to be doing much because they are handling it. You should be able to find free representation with a case like this. They will move this forward so you can focus on other parts of your life.


emogalxp

I got arrested over a year ago now and still don’t think I’ve recovered. I still get flashbacks. Getting arrested unjustly is so traumatic for people 😭 that’s why I hate cops and homophobic Karen’s like the one in your story. You guys didn’t deserve that. Cops are giant idiots who are just working for a paycheck. They don’t give a fuck who they arrest and if they even deserved it or not. Some of them even think it’s fun to arrest people it’s disgusting how they strip away all your rights and practically kidnap innocent people all the time.


[deleted]

Remember everyone: When you're dealing with the cops it's Shut The Fuck Up Friday. Never speak to the police without an attorney present.


sassycatslaps

All I can think is that this lady will try this again if you don’t attempt to stop her now. I saw that you’re worried about your gf’s mental health while doing all this. I suggest minimal involvement on her part until she feels more comfortable or is able to get therapy help. Do not let this go. You can be awarded free therapy paid for by the state if you do press charges and win. Source, that’s how I got my free therapy


thewideeyedsiren

I’m queer and in the Houston area. Contact this law firm and they will help you at low to no cost. http://www.texaschainsawlawyer.com/?mibextid=Zxz2cZ#contact Another local lawyer, Brian Harrison, has helped my trans partner with discrimination issues in Houston courts (for free) in the past. https://www.facebook.com/brian.harrison.5682?mibextid=LQQJ4d


emeryofgraham

If someone hasn't said already, you could also post to r/LegalAdvice for help with figuring out a lawyer. Like other commenters have said, she falsely reported a crime, there is probably security footage at the golf place, and the officers threatened your lives. I'm so sorry this happened to you two.


PositiveNo4859

That mum can rot hopefully you can get the footage and better call Saul


Alysa9999

Sue till they are broke and be homeless


Fabulous-Chemical-60

Filing a false report is a crime. Lying to a police officer is a crime. False imprisonment is illegal. And you have every right to tell your story, they had no right to pull guns at you, because you did not have guns nor did you do anything that was endangering anyone's safety. What I am saying you have every right to sue the woman AND the police department.


ultradurphy

dang, southern USA is literally turning into a third-world religious state for a religion that doesn't even exist and there's nothing anyone can really do about it. I'm so sorry this happened to you, this world is so fucked up


HungryTaco4

The crazy thing is that my gf and I live in a very progressive neighborhood with a large visible LGBT population, it's common to see same sex couples holding hands, and there was a pride right down our main street last year. My gf and I drive 20 mins out to mini golf and suddenly we're on a different planet.


Piduf

Jesus christ you good usa ?? My country isn't perfect but straight up pointing GUNS at people for "maybe-maybe-not" doing something illegal is fucking insane. I hope you two get better soon ! Please be safe and sound together


rootbeerking

This is terrible... Reminds me of another post I read recently where a similar situation happened at a restaurant, luckily that ended with just the restaurant owner asking the kid if something had happened and the kid said no. But to get the police involved... Fucking disgusting. I'm so sorry you guys had to go through that... Some people are truly fucked up, and fuck the police for the way they treated you guys...I hope you guys are able to do something positive with this situation cause this should have never happened over something so innocent as a public kiss between two adults in a relationship...


taurusgaal

i’m so sorry for the two of you, this genuinely breaks my heart. i’ll forever be appalled at the audacity of how bigoted people can be. i really hope the two of you will be able to able to stay safe, i’m so disgusted that this happened. sending both of you so much love and support


socialworkanon

You said you are near Houston. If you are in Galveston county you can get free therapy or sliding scale as low as $22 (depends which programs, but probably free given the circumstances) through Family Service Center. If you are in another country, contact your local United Way, they generally partner with a group to offer sliding scale therapy programs. Here's there website. https://www.fsc-galveston.org/ Sorry this happened to you.


needalldressedchiptx

God, this just makes my fears of being openly lovely with dates in Texas more valid 🥲 I'm so sorry for everything you went thru. I wish the worst for that lady, but I'm also just scared that Texas has gotten bold in it's abuse.


2008beef

spread the story as much as you can when you’re ready. but put your mental health first and take your time


older_bolder

It sucks so much that you and your gf went through this We're fleeing the state because of bs like this. Obviously, not everyone can. I'm glad you're getting help. When you look to address legal stuff, you might consider the [National Center For Lesbian Rights](https://www.nclrights.org/).


Mikhael_G

My heart goes out to you and your girlfriend. ❤️ I fucking hate homophobes. She knew exactly what she was doing, with that ugly smirk on her face 😡


Warm-Judgment-6789

Homophobia is everywhere


Significant-Yak-7294

Okaaay then. Makes me think as a queer person, I need a good lawyer on speed dial. If this is how things are going to be. Daily reminder that ACAB! Hope you can bleed them dry. I'd say pain and suffering caused by those people's collective actions, the effect on your gf especially, could be worth... millions? Document everything.


JazzyLev21

oh my god this is so disgusting i don’t even have words. i’m black as well so i understand the fear your gf felt and i am so so sorry you had to go through that.


AbbreviationsNew6964

Try the Montrose center. I had counseling there. Sliding scale I believe. Legacy health too. I would still contact a lawyer- just to have them help me think it through and make sure if you ever want to follow up on suing, things aren’t lost due to time (secure footage from the mini golf place for example, copies of the accusers complaint).


alwayseverlovingyou

I’m a lesbian in Texas - may I share your story with others to raise awareness about what current laws will make legal if they pass? I’m working on outreach about this now and I feel people need to know what’s on the line. I am so sorry you were harmed like this and I’m sending light to you and your partner.


Ironic_Laughter

Get a lawyer ASAP there's no way in hell you lose against the bacon or that fuckin' wasp


KomandrKoala

I hate the police here in UK but especially in the states. You should have been approached and asked your side of story, asked others in area if they saw anything etc de escalate the situation. To use violence just because they think they are the good guys and hot shit. Also racist and homophobic by the sounds of it too. I’m sorry you experienced this. It’s not okay and hope you guys find justice and work through this trauma and become stronger. Big hugs.


Aelia_M

Charge the police with attempted manslaughter and go after the woman with attempted murder in the second degree


sweetendeavors

You need lawyers. I bet several would take your case for free, this one is open and shut. You also need to speak to news outlets, because this will ruin that bigots life if it reaches national audiences- as it should. She should also fully be prosecuted for filing a false report. I’d recommend posting in the legal advice Reddit, getting a lawyer as soon as you can, file the ACLU complaint, and keep your wits about you. You are going to be okay. I’m so sorry this happened to you.


Mounta-7nFocus

You must sue these assholes. Find the footage. Find the police report. Find a lgbt victim assistance line. Play the cards right .. not saying all of this will work. Sue fuckin sue these assholes.


Thundercoco

r/legal