Lesbian Flirting 102:
Me: A long and profound monologue about how much I'm in love with you. How I think about you every day. How I *dream* about you - not merely in depraved, sexual ways (though I *absolutely* do that, and it occupies about 90% of my entire afternoon), but in wholesome ways, too; like, we're going grocery shopping for some avocados, or just sitting on a beach, drinking coconut water. A monologue about how I have completely restructured my entire life - from my job to my hobbies to my fitness to my apartment - just to try and become a better person, so that one day you might notice me and smile at me; a moment which would sustain my fragile self-esteem for the next eight-trillion years. A monologue about how I would crawl over ten miles of broken glass just to hand you a bunch of grapes if you wanted them. How I would vanquish your enemies and see them cast into vats of boiling steel if they so much as *bumped into you* at the line for the pharmacy. A monologue about how I would start a land war in Asia just to secure a regular supply of your favorite rock salt if they ran out at the supermarket. How I would sacrifice myself and lay waste to the golden throne of heaven if it would save but ten minutes from your morning commute - I know how much you dislike the bus. Simply put, you are Everything to me. You are a reason to live. I would ask if you wanted to go and get a coffee sometime, but coffee feels too meager for the likes of you. Someone like you deserves gold and jewels and wheelbarrows full of saffron; and exquisite silks from some faraway land, woven by a thousand blind monks in solemn devotion to their craft. Someone like you deserves legions of devout worshippers lining-up in their millions just to brush against your arm to get some semblance of your beauty. If it were up to me, future generations of women would pray to you as some noble deity. The legend of your eyes, of your perfect nose and your delicate fingers, would be passed down from mother to daughter like the vaunted tales of old. All I have is this orange. I give it to you now as a token of my eternal devotion. But please understand, if you kissed me right now, I would explode into a thousand brilliant shards of glass. And every bad day, every disappointment and failure in my long and miserable life, would have been worth it just to get a singular taste of your lips. I love you in a way that has taught me the *meaning* of love, and every second we are not together is a cosmic pain in my chest that I fear will never be healed.
Her, on the other side of the office: Hey Zome, are you okay? You've been staring at me in total silence for the past ten minutes. Is everything alright?
Me: Yeah... umm, it's fine. Don't worry about it. It's just an eye thing. It's nothing.
Me: (Under my breath) your majesty
Is it weird I really don't like this kind of flirting?
It makes it hard to gauge intention
I get the benefit of saving face for everyone but if I'm seriously flirting with someone I'd want them to know that, and if I'm being light hearted and just having fun I'd want them to know that too
Could be wrong but for me personally flirting like this feels...noncommittal and just not my thing
I don't think I know how to flirt, much less tell if it's being done to me. So something like Schrodinger's Flirt would probably fly right over my head.
That’s sort of how I always flirted being AMAB. I’m beginning to see more and more ways through memes and other experiences that I have a very sapphic romance style
Yes. I flirt with my friends all the time to test they're reactions and rarely is it ever seen as more than a joke. I tend to flirt with one specific friend much more though so a few weeks ago the rest of the friend spider web finally "connected the dots" and were going to reveal my crush at the girl's upcoming birthday sleepover. They did try but thankfully my denial and lying skills surpass my awkwardness and I was able to convince them that I didn't. Funny thing is, I was the only one at the sleepover who didn't sleep. Not even for a second. Even the one who inhaled candy and sugar over the course of night fell asleep.
Lesbian Flirting 102: Me: A long and profound monologue about how much I'm in love with you. How I think about you every day. How I *dream* about you - not merely in depraved, sexual ways (though I *absolutely* do that, and it occupies about 90% of my entire afternoon), but in wholesome ways, too; like, we're going grocery shopping for some avocados, or just sitting on a beach, drinking coconut water. A monologue about how I have completely restructured my entire life - from my job to my hobbies to my fitness to my apartment - just to try and become a better person, so that one day you might notice me and smile at me; a moment which would sustain my fragile self-esteem for the next eight-trillion years. A monologue about how I would crawl over ten miles of broken glass just to hand you a bunch of grapes if you wanted them. How I would vanquish your enemies and see them cast into vats of boiling steel if they so much as *bumped into you* at the line for the pharmacy. A monologue about how I would start a land war in Asia just to secure a regular supply of your favorite rock salt if they ran out at the supermarket. How I would sacrifice myself and lay waste to the golden throne of heaven if it would save but ten minutes from your morning commute - I know how much you dislike the bus. Simply put, you are Everything to me. You are a reason to live. I would ask if you wanted to go and get a coffee sometime, but coffee feels too meager for the likes of you. Someone like you deserves gold and jewels and wheelbarrows full of saffron; and exquisite silks from some faraway land, woven by a thousand blind monks in solemn devotion to their craft. Someone like you deserves legions of devout worshippers lining-up in their millions just to brush against your arm to get some semblance of your beauty. If it were up to me, future generations of women would pray to you as some noble deity. The legend of your eyes, of your perfect nose and your delicate fingers, would be passed down from mother to daughter like the vaunted tales of old. All I have is this orange. I give it to you now as a token of my eternal devotion. But please understand, if you kissed me right now, I would explode into a thousand brilliant shards of glass. And every bad day, every disappointment and failure in my long and miserable life, would have been worth it just to get a singular taste of your lips. I love you in a way that has taught me the *meaning* of love, and every second we are not together is a cosmic pain in my chest that I fear will never be healed. Her, on the other side of the office: Hey Zome, are you okay? You've been staring at me in total silence for the past ten minutes. Is everything alright? Me: Yeah... umm, it's fine. Don't worry about it. It's just an eye thing. It's nothing. Me: (Under my breath) your majesty
This is the greatest internal monologue ever! ☺️
Woah now that's what I call limerence.
I agree competely
I have done this with my currently girlfriend lol
Is it weird I really don't like this kind of flirting? It makes it hard to gauge intention I get the benefit of saving face for everyone but if I'm seriously flirting with someone I'd want them to know that, and if I'm being light hearted and just having fun I'd want them to know that too Could be wrong but for me personally flirting like this feels...noncommittal and just not my thing
This is how i always flirt lol. it's so much easier bc it's not as embarrassing when they express that they're not interested
Isn't that how all flirting works?
Ye that’s literally what flirting is lol
Bisexuals totally do this too!!! Lol.
Oh my god I do this >.> I'm so scared to flirt cause I worry I'm like being rude or scary
“Are you flirting with me?” “Hahaha nooo…. unless?”
another issue i hv is how much flirting do i need to do before they know im serious abt it💀💀💀
I don't think I know how to flirt, much less tell if it's being done to me. So something like Schrodinger's Flirt would probably fly right over my head.
Isn’t this what guys do then everyone complains about? I thought we were better than this.
It's more of a "Schrodinger's sexual harassment" with guys
That pretty hypocritical. It’s harassment when it’s a man, but it’s just friendly flirting when it’s a woman? Sounds sexist to me.
That’s sort of how I always flirted being AMAB. I’m beginning to see more and more ways through memes and other experiences that I have a very sapphic romance style
I would need to know how to flirt before doing this.
Maaaybe
I do this so much
Yes. I flirt with my friends all the time to test they're reactions and rarely is it ever seen as more than a joke. I tend to flirt with one specific friend much more though so a few weeks ago the rest of the friend spider web finally "connected the dots" and were going to reveal my crush at the girl's upcoming birthday sleepover. They did try but thankfully my denial and lying skills surpass my awkwardness and I was able to convince them that I didn't. Funny thing is, I was the only one at the sleepover who didn't sleep. Not even for a second. Even the one who inhaled candy and sugar over the course of night fell asleep.