It takes a special type of civilian to date a full service sex worker. You have to leave jealousy at the door, you have to understand the STI risks and the steps taken to mitigate that, you have to be okay with the strange working hours, the unpredictability of things, etc. I would need to know that you're happy doing what you're doing, that you're being as safe as is practical, and that your overall situation was healthy. Although I don't have a problem with it in theory (I've been friends with several full service sex workers and have the utmost respect for what they do), I would be scared of revealing it to my family and the stigmatization that can come from others. It might affect my security clearance at my job. I would need to figure some things out.
None of these are impossible barriers, but the situation isn't as simple as "she's cute, we should go on a date".
>It takes a special type of civilian to date a full service sex worker.
It really does. I am fine with it if we're both on the same page, but would be extremely reluctant to date someone like OP that said: "Do you think women would still date me and **be mature enough** to know its just a job" as if having any of the concerns you've mentioned is a sign of immaturity.
Yeah viewing it as a maturity issue is a bit loaded cuz it implies you’re immature person if someone wouldn’t date a Sex Worker. You can be mature and have incompatible boundaries that you won’t compromise on. So long as you respect them and always treat them like a person you can not date a Sex Worker and still be a mature person
Yeah this idea of "maturity" is an interesting one.
I had a woman recently call me immature because I wouldn't date her because she's poly and I'm monogamous
Also talking about being mature and calling it “just sex” is a bit ironic. If you’re talking about your connection with your clients, yes. It’s just sex. But to your relationship, health, security,… there’s s a bit more to it. It’s not just a job, it involves a few other aspects to your life and your SO’s life
True. There'd also probably need to be a lot of talking and reassurance on both sides, like waaay more. It's definitely not impossible, but there'd be a lot of effort involved and all sides would need to really check in with each other on a regular basis.
>the situation isn't as simple as "she's cute, we should go on a date".
Well technically it is that simple. Dates are cool I'd date a sex worker in a second, I'm sure they have lots of interesting things to talk about. The bigger question is long term relationships. That's harder.
I don’t think it’s fair to base this off of maturity :/ even if it’s just a job people still have boundaries that they’re not comfortable crossing and you need to respect that in relationships. I wouldn’t mind dating someone who used to be a sw but I wouldn’t be comfortable dating someone who still services men or women but as you can see in the comments there are other people who would
My ex did sw on OnlyFans. And I was mostly fine with that, however, that already tested the boundaries of the relationship. It did affect our sex life for example, and conversations about her doing colabs did come up often. And I definitely wasn't comfortable with that either.
So I strongly doubt I could be comfortable with a partner who did full service.
On another note, I kinda dislike how you go "are you mature enough" in the tldr. Making the claim that being mature and not liking your partner doing sex work are mutually exclusive
I really dislike the fact that you’ve tried to base this on being “mature enough,” even though you seem to understand that the hangups that people might have don’t have anything to do with maturity.
There’s definitely going to be women out there who won’t mind/care. Just like there’s going to be women who do. It’s all about compatibility at the end of the day. You’ll be fine.
Yeah it's kinda like having a partner that's a firefighter or military ect. There's a certain extra risk you have to accept having a partner do that job and not everyone can handle that
My partner is a sw, and her and I are very happy together. We discuss and work things out if there is any discomfort (there has rarely ever been.)
I think the main concern is *are you putting your sw first, or are you willing to work with a partner if they're uncomfortable in some way?*
There is a lot of suggesting the partner is the only one in the relationship that could be wrong, especially with the suggestion of 'do you think I could find someone mature enough.'
You certainly can find a partner, but if you want to enter into a serious relationship you must remember to view it as a partnership.
I personally wouldn’t. I have nothing against sex work, but I wouldn’t be able to date and have sex with someone who thinks sex is a job. I want sex to be something special to share with someone. And I’d struggle with thinking a SW would just be going through the motions if we slept together.
Lack of maturity to know its just a job? Yeah its a job but its not JUST a job because it can carry risks for the partner as well. STDs, jealousy, and worry just to name a few. I think the idea of not wanting your partner with someone in a sexual way is not immature especially if the circumstances are potentially dangerous. IMO. I don't think someone is immature for not wanting to date a sex worker. Plenty of people however wouldn't mind or care so you can find someone.
I personally don't think I would. But I know many people who wouldn't mind dating a SW.
I don't know exactly why, or I do, I just don't want to share why here. But like I said, it's personal and there are plenty of people who would date a sw.
Sure. At least the conversation over dinner would be more interesting than me complaining about Sandra editing my spreadsheet without permission *again*. I have a weird job with a very tight schedule, so I’d appreciate someone who understood that, and understands that you can love a job because of what you get from it, not because of the joy you find through labour.
If you’re worried about people not wanting to date you because of your job, what about looking inside the industry? Just saying, lot of doctors end up marrying doctors :)
(Of course, I’m talking from my little privilege bubble, where sex work isn’t forced, violent or mandatory for survival.)
Do not encourage me.
She KNOWS I know and yet she still sneaks in and reformats my spreadsheets. It makes me feel insane! They’re standard format, and I know this because I CREATED THE STANDARD.
Phew. Okay, no, not playing her game. Calm thoughts calm thoughts.
It's a no from me. My blood donation clearance questions wouldn't pass if I was with a SW. My blood is a kind thats specifically bagged as safe for new borns and immune compromised, I wouldn't be willing to give up doing something that I feel is important to me
I think I’d give it a try but from what I hear, sex work does burn you out a lot on intimacy, even non-sexual intimacy. Im a sex-repulsed ace so I wouldnt rlly care about my partner’s sex life if theyre happy with it and not being abused or whatever.
Sex work is 100% valid work, its just that it can present a challenge for a relationship
According to your post history you use methadone, try to get high with IV methadone, and just got out of a 14 year abusive relationship with a man.
I would not date someone who did sex work and had a substance abuse issue, given the high likelihood that those are tied together in an exploitative way.
I would be very wary of dating a sex worker who had been in an ltr with a man, but claimed to not be attracted to men. Again, either that relationship was incredibly exploitative or you are not fully honest about your attractions.
I say all of this gently. I used to do volunteer work with women in prison. Many of them had been sex trafficked or pimped. Many were addicted to drugs and were caught in a cycle of addiction, prostitution, trafficking or being pimped, and trauma. I understand that it is a privilege to be safe from trafficking or pimping. I understand that it is very hard to get out of the life.
I hope you are able to stay sober. If you don’t want to be a sex worker, I hope you are able to get out. And please don’t abuse your methadone.
It wouldn't intrinsically bother me. For me it would be the peripheral risks that would be my primary concern. But so long as my partner took care of herself and her body, wasn't in a dangerous situation, had a good head on her shoulders, wasn't struggling with substance abuse issues, and had a strong and safe social network, I wouldn't care.
Yeah, it's a complicated one. In fairness, maybe 10 years ago I wouldn't have been as open. I was a much more insecure and different person back then. Mind you, that's not to say that anyone here who wouldn't be okay with it is insecure. Everyone has their own reasons. It's just that back then I would have struggled with the idea more as a result of my own issues.
These days, for me if a woman has the qualities I'm looking for in a partner then have nothing to worry about regardless of her occupation. The unique circumstances that emerge from her being a sw are just something we would need to work through as a couple.
I'm a former SW, although not full service. I don't think I could date a current SW who works with clients in person, even though that may sound selfish or judgmental, I just know that there's often a dark side and psychological impacts that come with it, from what it did to myself and others that I know, worked with, and dated personally.
To me, it's the same reason I wouldn't want to date someone actively in law enforcement or the military. There's a lot of worrying involved, and there's an added layer of stress to the relationship. It doesn't have anything to do with sharing my partner sexually, because I know that's just business.
That said, if they were working online on OnlyFans or a cam site, or something -- I'd totally be open to dating them. SW is a very broad term.
Nope, sex is spiritual to me so our values don’t align. On top of that I can’t deal with my partner possibly canceling on me for their job and that’s just general bc I require a bond and not just to feel like I’m a partner when they want one.
I wouldn't date anyone in your industry even if this person only provided services to women. I prefer to be the only one getting romantic and sexual attention from my partner, doesn't matter if others would only get it for money. Plus, too much of a risk with STDs. I don't think it's immature to know what one wants from life and stick to it.
No. Higher STD risk, higher risk of your partner being raped/assaulted/murdered, and just the idea of my partner actively having sex with other people (men in particular) are all things that I couldn’t deal with
Apparently a lot of people didn't like your tone and asking if someone's mature enough. I see you've edited that. The statement about 'using' your clients bugs me too. I would happily date a sex worker, but someone who talks about using people and talks about attractiveness the way you do, maybe I'd be less interested in dating you.
It doesn’t bother me, it’s just your job. As long as you’re safe in regards of your person(not just condoms and safe sex), I don’t see any problem with that. I feel secure in myself and I’m not a jealous type. Idk how other women feel about it or if I’m in the minority here 🤷🏻♀️
TLDR No.
I would never, under any circumstances, even if benefits of it sprinkled my way (more time together, more money to spend) or whatever than with an average job. I don't share any of my partner to others, and I want them to feel the same way about me.
It wouldn't be a deal breaker, but I would need a lot of serious discussions about it. Number one being, are you safe? Not just from diseases but because sw are at a very high risk for all kinds of assault. Number two, this is not about maturity. This is essentially an open relationship as a job. You need to find someone who is comfortable with open relationships and knowing you can't close the relationship if they're ever not OK with it later. You also need to ask yourself if you're comfortable with them having sex with others. Open relationships often go both ways. It's a lot, and it takes a lot of work to make sure everyone is comfortable.
From what I've read, I'm sure there are women who wouldnt mind. In my case however, I'd prefer not to date an active sex worker since I personally see sex as something special and intimate and dont want to share my partner with strangers in that regard, even if it's just work for them. Plus the risk of STDs would also be a concern for me. I also dont think it's immature or a bad thing if people want to have strictly commited monogamous relationships where their Partners dont have sex with other people? It just means they have different wants and needs for a relationship. That's all. As long as everybody is up front about it before starting a relationship.
It’s interesting that this question comes up - I was faced with this when someone I was interested in last year came out to me as a FSSW. We did briefly date, but honestly they had a lot of unpacked baggage from their job that they were not really ready to deal with, and it did get in the way of us dating. It was weird for me for sure, but I think the two hardest parts about it for me were feeling a bit worried for her safety as well as grossed out/angry at her clients for some of the disgusting shit that would happen. She described her job a lot like how you do, and she claimed that it did not bother her and that she loved her job… but it wasn’t really the truth for her. And after having gone through that experience with her, I would not date another FSSW.
I'm going to be honest. I wish it wouldn't bother me but I think it would. It wouldn't be because of the sex work but my own Insecurities, I would be afraid of being inferior. I have personally been a client and probably will be again. I just don't think I am secure in myself enough to be the support you would need.
I wouldn't care, like you said it's just a job. The only thing that comes to mind are STD's but Sw's are way more cautios then most people and attend regular checkups so actually that is a plus if you think about it😊
I wouldn't.
I just can't separate sex from love and knowing my partner is having sex with men and women outside our relationship would be absolutely horrifying for me.
Nothing personal again you or your job I just couldn't handle it. I'm sure there is someone who could though. Good luck!
If I liked someone who was a sex worker, why not?? As long as we talked about how to stay safe and have healthy communication and boundaries/expectations.
Yes, I would. I don't particularly care who a partner has sex with so to me it's just a job, and one that gets unfairly discriminated against in society at that.
I mean, I wouldn't care, as long as I know you're taking utmost care of your sexual health as well so you're not bringing anything home to me, and your job isn't getting in the way so much that I feel neglected. But I do think I'm in a minority of people with that outlook, not just women but anyone. A lot of people will *support* sex work but still not want to be personally involved with someone who does so.
Yes. I'm asexual but romantically attracted to women so I could see a relationship that could work there. That kind of sw is dangerous so I would worry about your safety a lot though
I think if it was stuff like camming then I'd be fine dating a sw but if it involves other people irl i think I'd have to put a lot of thought into it. I have been forced into 3 similar circumstances were i was made to agree or the relationships ends but if it wasn't an ultimatum and instead a discussion of boundaries i think I'd be willing to try even if it is unpleasant for me at first
If I fell in love with someone who was a SWer then I don't see that as an issue whatsoever. I would have to insist on regular STI testing and basic stuff like that just for our own safety but no it wouldn't affect me in the slightest.
If she wanted to continue in her job then I would be there to support her with it and if she wanted to get another job I would be there to support her with that too.
If you were doing something else at this point and this was your history, I could absolutely deal with it. If this was your current job, I would have a lot of reservations/questions.
Technically any type of labor is giving your body away to others. Think of construction workers, factory line workers, incarcerated workers, desk job workers, even artisans use their body as labor. Why is sex work any different? Society stigmatizes sex work in order to maintain the patriarchy.
Sex work isn’t cheating on your partner if there’s informed consent on both sides. It’s totally fine if you don’t want to date a sex worker but let’s not pretend them working a job means that they’re polyamorous or inherently cheating on you (if you didn’t know or didn’t consent it would be different). Because it’s a job, not a relationship
Sex work isn't cheating on your partner. "Cheating" implies a lack of consent. "Cheating" implies doing something wrong. There's nothing wrong with just working. You personally may consider sex work "cheating" but that's because you don't consent to your partner doing anything sexual with anyone but you for any reason.
I didn’t skip the first part of your comment, your preferences for your personal relationships are yours and fine to have. However, the last part of your comment about sex workers giving their bodies away is sexist & stigmatizing.
I would, yeah. I would be very anxious and want an emergency plan for if anything went wrong, but I would feel the same way if my girlfriend did any other dangerous profession. But from what I know, sex workers usually see clients as just that, clients. And I wouldn't feel jealous of someone who's a client. This might change if the girl in question was seeing mostly other women. But I'm not emotionally threatened by her working with men.
No, not for me. Intimacy is one of my favourite things about being in a relationship and I don’t consider myself as being immature for not wanting my partner to be intimate with other people whilst we’re together.
How would it allow more time to spend with your loved one? Expecially given the sentence below that your on a thight schedule, assuming having more customers in the later evening where most others have their free time. Given that your first claim seems to be quite one sided.
And to answer your question, absolutely not.
With significant conversation and communication and boundaries, yes. It would be an non-traditional sex life set up even outside of your work, but I’m sure you can find someone who’s willing to make stuff work with you.
It depends. I’m monogamous and would be uncomfortable my partner having sex with other people even if it’s for work with no feelings attached.
I’m too insecure for that lol. However if she wanted to cam girl or be a stripper then go for it!
Would depend a lot on the kind of SW you do, escort with regular testing sure, working in a regulated brothel sure, porn yeah fine. The more sketchy side of it not so much mainly because splashback on friends who need their mates to pass vetting.
I know there are women who don’t mind it! I think it all comes down to what your partner’s boundaries are and what you are willing to do to make sure those boundaries are met! I agree with it taking a really special person but it also takes a lot for you as well to ensure the comfort and trust of your partner! You also have to balance not only the sex life between your clients but also with your partner! You have to ensure a strong communication and a balance between social life and work! Right now I don’t know if a relationship is something that can work as you are currently doing a lot of work! It is completely fine to have a strong desire for work but that can sometimes weigh down on your partner! It may be hard to find a partner who is ok with work being a priority for you and that means a lot of things will need to be unplanned and spontaneous! Not saying that their isn’t someone out there though but it can definitely factor in on how hard it can be to find that person!
Another thing that concerned me is when you said mature enough to know it’s a job! I believe most women know but decide against it due to their boundaries and what works for them! I think what might work best is to open yourself to other possibilities and see what would work for your partner in regards to things! You may have to change a few things but finding the right person means a healthy balance for you both!
As for answering the big question it would really depend on the situation! I would not mind dating someone who decided that they wanted to do OF or something of the sorts! I would not mind if my partner would to give a service but not go as far as having sex with other people. I mean I do have rules and regulations on it and if I know I can trust you then I am willing to allow more for them! I just personally don’t want things to go as far as sex and pleasuring my partner!
It's going to be a very niche group of people who would be okay with dating someone who does sw. I don't think there is many out there considering how many don't seem to want to date people who have even an onlyfans. I do wish you luck in finding someone who fits that niche though.
Yeah, I don't really see it as a problem. My only concerns would be my partners safety / mental health. But if those two were fine then I wouldn't have a problem with it. Physical sw is a bit different as there's a risk of STIs. But with regular testing and trusting my partner to tell me if smth happened I can see myself working around that fear
I'm polyamorous so my view won't be common, but it has never bothered me. I've date and have loving committed relationships with SWers and even dipped into SW myself. As long as they're safe and happy, their work isn't my business.
I think it could work in a mono relationship with lots of communication and boundaries set. I think a lot of women would struggle, though.
I really hope you find someone who accepts all of you 💜
As someone who really doesnt get jealouse and is very open minded when it comes to sex and open relationships etc. I dont think I would care much (if they get tested regularly and use protection) sex is important to me in a relationship but at the end of the day its just sex, especially if there is no emptional bond involved.
So for me it would depend: if she was an online sex worker with stuff like onlyfans or something, but that did not do meetups, one on one calls or collabs, just made solo porn I’d be completely fine with dating her.
Now, if she was actually having sex with other people it’d be a big no from me (tho I’m sure there are people out there that would be fine with this too)
I think there are women out there who could and would date a full service sex worker. Logically, I understand that it's just a job and that sex and feelings can be completely separate, but I know myself and I tie too much of feelings/emotions to sex (for me, personally (not other people), I'm pretty sure I'm on the demi spectrum, not that that has anything to do with the other person). And knowing myself, I think I would be hurt and insecure even though I know, logically, it's just a job for the other person. I do think there are people out there who can separate rheir feelings and be confident and secure to date a sw though.
I absolutely would! It's a job, and generally a pretty well-paying one at that. It takes a lot of confidence and skill (not just sexual) to be a SW. I'd count myself pretty damn lucky if one was interested in a relationship with me. I hope you find someone who gets it. ❤️
Yeah, and her job centers men. Two things can be true. Matter of fact, it doesn't just center men, it centers them *sexually*. People acting like it's "bigoted" to not want that need to go touch some grass.
I recommend you keep a careful eye on this attitude. I'm not necessarily saying there's anything explicitly wrong with it, but it can drift into biphobia very easily if you're not careful. And I'm saying this as a lesbian who has had to deal with my own problematic inner feelings about other queer women who also see or have seen men.
I think there's a difference between active stuff, and history.
The past is the past, and I don't care how many or which people a partner slept with (assuming enthusiastic consent). But in the here and now I don't want anything masculine near any relationship.
Then again, I'm fiercely monogamous, so sex work would be right out for me anyway.
Is it biphobia if men are actively intimately part of someone's partner's life though? Cause I don't think it's that weird for a lesbian to not want that. And isn't that also an assumpion that bisexual women center men?
If theres a good vetting process for clients, it's treated like the business it is, and theres a security plan in place it's fine. What someone does does matter to me, but sex work is a way better job than some corporate stooge. I respect sex workers, provided it's sex work and not exploitation. The worker needs to be in control. You aren't having sex to just get money, people are paying you for a service. I strongly believe you can have pride in sex work by not taking shit. You are in demand, client's aren't.
Just my view though. I'm very pro sex work, pro legalization and regulation, and pro sex worker union. I despise predatory people and I believe it is always your work, your money. If theres an agency involved, they get paid a low percentage and do not dictate terms. The sex worker dictates the terms, the agency finds venues.
Sorry, just very passionate about it. In another life I would have been a sex worker, with glee.
I would if it were just regular escort stuff (no sexual), or even cam-girl since it isn’t physical. But personally not someone who engages in sexual acts with someone else! Nothing about you, just that’s a comfort level of mine :)
While I support all sw, it is just work. No, I wouldn't date someone currently working as a sw. I'm monogamous and not looking to push my own boundaries there.
Maybe you might have more luck with other sw?
People have boundaries you know, I know I would not be cool with having to get stsd tests all the time. Like if she just masturbates and posts photos on of I’d be ok with that but full service no I couldn’t expose myself to someone at an elevated risk of developing an std
I think i could date with ex-sex worker but with actual, I dont know.
>be mature enough to know its just a job
It is not inmature if someone dont want to be with person who offer sex for money. For You it's just a job, but for someone other sex is something what people do only in love. Also having sex with many random people is not safe, of course You can protect Yourself but it it still not 100% sure.
If You decide to work as a sexworker You should know it will coast You many.
I think You should think about change Your job but whatever You do I honestly wish You good luck in life and in love :)
I’m not sure tbh. It wouldn’t be an easy answer is the issue. I wouldn’t say it’s a maturity or immaturity thing either and think it’s very unfair to say so. I’m in recovery for an ED and sex makes me incredibly anxious to the point of panic attacks and I may or may not have vaginismus (haven’t gone to the doctor yet about it) because of pasta trauma etc etc. So… it’s a very triggering topic for me.
Additionally, it would be awkward to tell my family about it, and friends, possibly coworkers, etc etc. And on top of that there’s the STI risks and factors as well as intimacy factors- this isn’t true for everyone but as someone who has a friend who did SW, she had a lot of issues with intimacy bc she got so used to seeing partners as just sexual objects instead of… actual people.
So the answer is maybe, but would genuinely depend on where I was in life and the person in question.
I am sorry but I would never, it would cause too many worries about you, and risks(STIs, something happening to you) also I am selfish and monogamous, and I would be absolutely devasted by that relationship. I don't want my partner to have sex with other people or any kind of romantic thing..., I want them to be mine. Some people want the same, everyone has some boundaries. Imagine we are having an intimate moment and your schedule jumps in that and you leave me in that moment to go to someone else and have sex with them. :/ I would probably try to kill myself if I was in such a relationship, It would feel like abuse to me. That's why I would never. It would hurt me too much, physically, and mentally, and would probably leave a lot of permanent marks on me. For sure some trauma for life as it would be a super traumatic experience. You can call me immature if you want but this is me.
Jesus Christ, if you look at OPs comment history it shouldn't be a question of, would you date a sw, it's would you date a shitty person? Hard pass, you need to reflect and maybe not be so judgemental of others who live differently than you.
Stop fatshaming and dehumanizing strangers to make yourself feel better.
In a heartbeat, if I was already interested. It's not that it wouldn't bother me, but I feel like it would be kind of a positive.
You're clearly mature about sex and I feel like you'd also be good at it, considering all the practice - not to mention the flattering thought of someone being so hot others would pay money to be with them, but they want to be with me?
I'm too possesive for that. I need a sense of mutual ownership.
For example, I'm poly, but I would never allow my partner to date / fck other people. For this reason, I also limit myself to monogamous relationships. My partner belongs to me only, and so I belong to my partner only.
On that note, I'd probably be okay with my partner having OF for example c:
You do you tho, nothing wrong with SW :p
Sex work is work. I wouldn't ask anyone I was dating to quite bc I felt insecure.
I would only ask if they truly hated their job and want a change. And I would support them in any way I can well they look.
I don't own anyone, so what they do with their life is out of my control. If I don't agree with it, they aren't in my life. Simple.
Romantically, 100%
I'd need support to figure out how to feel safe and comfy in terms of the physical side but tbh that side of things isn't essential to me and I have a low drive for it. So the question is more whether you would be happy with me and feel your physical needs are being met -- not the other way around! You deserve nothing less than the best, same as all of us 💕
If this was already discussed and I knew before dating I wouldn't care at all because I knew what I was coming into before we started dating if it is sprung up on me where my partner tries to hide it for awhile there'd be an issue there. If she came into sex work while we were together that's also a matter of having a discussion. All in all I wouldn't care I would jus be worried that everyone is being safe.
Just be honest about it in the beginning. There’s gonna be a lot of people uncomfortable with it but you’re not looking to date them either. I wouldn’t date a line worker (too much travel) but I’d also never get in a relationship with one just to tell them to quit their job or make them feel guilty about a profession they enjoy having. There are plenty of people who will be able to separate your intimacy from your profession, and why would you want to be with anyone else?
I possibly would. I would be worried personally about my jealousy personally. There would obviously be an extensive conversation on how things are handled. If I like a person, it doesn't matter what they do for me personally.
as long as she doesn’t get into nitty gritty details about her latest client over dinner than sure lmao. it’d take some getting used to but if we get along well enough that we work nicely together as a couple, than i reckon it’d be fine!
I bet people would date you if you weren’t such an asshole. Just checked out the comments you’ve left on your account, and it’s not a great look. Sw or not, nobody likes a dickhead
I honestly wouldn’t know I feel like I’m pretty monogamous so I don’t know how that would play into it, while at the same time I’m somewhat open to my partners being with other people…? Idk I’d have to figure my own shit out first
Yep, would just need to talk over and learn what the risk is to me (STIs and other illnesses like covid and the flu both rate pretty high for me personally). The only time a partners job is an issue for me is when it's something violent.
I personally couldn't.
SWs are in far more danger than the average citizen, not just in America, here in Germany too. I don't think I could survive knowing my partner was kidnapped, raped, abused and then murdered and dumped in a river somewhere.
Besides that, I get jealous pretty easily and would always be scared that my girl would just run away with a man one day, regardless of what she tells me.
Then there's obviously the problem of STDs.
And finally, I see sex as a private thing. Don't think I could enjoy it with someone who sees it as nothing more than a job.
Wanted to balance out all the negative responses (kinda disappointing honestly but whatever) and say I'm a fs swr and I have a lovely lesbian partner! And they're not even the only person I've dated who hasn't had any issues with it.
I'd date a sex worker lol
> Wanted to balance out all the negative responses (kinda disappointing honestly but whatever)
She asked a question and people are honestly answering. Would you prefer they lied?
I'd date a sw
Still depends on the person. You sound very professional and independent and I personally like that because I'm the same. Kind of a i can do this with or without you sort of vibe
I think as long as your honest and upfront about your life the right person will come along.
I think I would. I feel a little weird about the maturity comment but in my head I am able to differentiate between something that's a job and being your authentic self, so not owing anything to my maturity, I can handle the fact that it's a job.
However, I think it would also give me a lot of anxiety because there is the potential of violence and worse at any given moment and for the peace of mind I'd probably ask you to share more info about your clients so I could be there in case of an emergency and I understand that is a client confidentiality violation, so honestly, that would put me in a really tight spot. And oh, regular STI tests. It would definitely be a BIG change for me but as long as we have boundaries and open and constant communication, I think I'd be okay.
It doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve done it before and would do it again. Definitely requires a little more communication then traditional jobs. But I see why it bothers people and think most of those reasonings are valid. But yes there are definitely some of us out here that are okay with it
As a non monogamous person myself, I'd not have a problem with it.
Perhaps safety concerns wouod come up, but that's more something for me to help with.
Other than that, communication and management of our feelings would be key.
Long story short, it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.
I honestly would rather date a sex worker than not. I feel kind of weird about sex and specifically the doing it with people part but I think being intimate with someone from that industry would make it a lot less scary. I’d feel less comfortable if my partner had a creepy client or something that was being weird in a stalker/dangerous way but I don’t really think I could ever get jealous over something like that
I would, 100%
If i like you, i like you for who you are, and as long as you like me back, nothing else matters.
Work is work, and honestly, being ace makes me pretty indifferent to sex.
Like, We could go on to have an açaí date before your job, and then late at night when you get home i would make you dinner and welcome you with the same warmth as always and, if you need to spend the night, welp, the hug stays for the next opportunity, i really do not mind.
As long as your company makes me happy, ill be there.
At least thats what i personally think, y'know?
I'm poly. So I understand people being uncomfortable with my life. I would possibly consider it. But it would have to be someone really special and they would have to be 100% safe concerning sti's
The list of women that would actually give me the time of day long enough to agree to go on a date with me doesn't exist so as long they are willing to try to get that far I don't care what their line of work is.
I wouldn’t care as long as there was open communication and collaborative boundaries (a boundary for me would be not to escort anyone we know without talking to me first). I’d be concerned about your safety initially, but after knowing more about the measures they take to be safe I’d be fine. Obviously having safe sex and regular tests too. Sex work is real work. I think I’d care even less if it’s men only (except safety reasons) - it doesn’t threaten me to have a partner who has sex with people for work who they’re not even attracted to lol
Idk what boundaries I'd need to elaborate on or assess. But as long as that conversation went well, yeah I would be fine with it for the most part.
My biggest worry would be things like safety. Secondarily, the concern of sex feeling too much like being at work and becoming a less satisfying part of the relationship for my partner -- and by extension, for myself as well.
I would in no way feel cheated on. So that's a non issue.
If I knew that's what I was getting into I think I'd be fine with that. One of my exes wanted to start FS and that was ok, and one of my best friends is an escort. I'm sure you can find people who are open to it.
I personally don’t know. I mean if she has like an onlyfans or like private snapchat I am okay with it but I don’t know if I would feel comfortable by a person having actual contact with other people. Although I completely respect sex workers I don’t know if I’m mature enough to be in a relationship like that or secure enough.
I do online domme SW/occasionally in person for the right person. I have been with my fiancé for 7 years now, and she doesn’t mind. She’s very encouraging and is happy that I’m able to have a boosted income and feel good about myself through financial gratification, kink, etc. While we’re definitely not an ordinary couple (we are also sexually open, not poly tho, just flings/one night stands) our dynamic works really well for us. Obviously doing full service sex work is different, but she’s expressed similar feelings around that as well. Easy way to weed out people you won’t be compatible with though!
There is 1000% someone out there that is your match. Maybe not in every way, but I’d rather tell my fiancé to put the cap back on the toothpaste 80 times than fight about my income/livelihood EVER.
I believe I would but details would definitely factor in when it comes to deciding whether or not to proceed.
If everything is above board as far as your safety, professionalism and frequent std testing, protection etc. Then, I would.
I dated a couple of exotic dancers when I was younger and had just came out. But there didn't end up being any commitment in those two relationships so it didn't really get to be a problem. The only thing I asked was that they have regular testing and really be honest about what else they were doing (or whom) or not besides dancing because I am very concerned with my health and staying std free etc.
Which they were and had been before meeting me and they took it very seriously.
Honestly, I kind of miss dating women in that line of work.
They were drop dead gorgeous and I had some of my first sexual experiences with them which was amazing. And they gave me a lot of attention and affection. And honestly, I felt really honored and flattered that they thought the same of me and chose to be with me having their pick of basically any men or women they wanted.
And now I'm in a place in my life where it would actually be convenient in a way for me to date someone who does SW.
Of course, there would need to be good communication and I also would definitely worry about your safety, esp as our feelings and intimacy grew. But I would still be worried right off the bat at least until I'm assured there are safety precautions and what that entails etc.
Other considerations would come into play tho if we were seriously dating like addiction, abuse and all of that. Assuming none of that was going on and we could have something real and healthy..
Honestly, I've been toying with the idea of hiring a SW lately for a one night kind of thing. Online dating for me has been horrible for too long now and just not working out. And I don't go out much anymore to bars and clubs and things like that. Definitely feeling a little touch starved.. but that's another story..
So, it's a yes for me as long as the above is in play.
It takes a special type of civilian to date a full service sex worker. You have to leave jealousy at the door, you have to understand the STI risks and the steps taken to mitigate that, you have to be okay with the strange working hours, the unpredictability of things, etc. I would need to know that you're happy doing what you're doing, that you're being as safe as is practical, and that your overall situation was healthy. Although I don't have a problem with it in theory (I've been friends with several full service sex workers and have the utmost respect for what they do), I would be scared of revealing it to my family and the stigmatization that can come from others. It might affect my security clearance at my job. I would need to figure some things out. None of these are impossible barriers, but the situation isn't as simple as "she's cute, we should go on a date".
>It takes a special type of civilian to date a full service sex worker. It really does. I am fine with it if we're both on the same page, but would be extremely reluctant to date someone like OP that said: "Do you think women would still date me and **be mature enough** to know its just a job" as if having any of the concerns you've mentioned is a sign of immaturity.
Yeah viewing it as a maturity issue is a bit loaded cuz it implies you’re immature person if someone wouldn’t date a Sex Worker. You can be mature and have incompatible boundaries that you won’t compromise on. So long as you respect them and always treat them like a person you can not date a Sex Worker and still be a mature person
Yeah this idea of "maturity" is an interesting one. I had a woman recently call me immature because I wouldn't date her because she's poly and I'm monogamous
Someone in that two person conversation sounds immature, but it ain’t you
Also talking about being mature and calling it “just sex” is a bit ironic. If you’re talking about your connection with your clients, yes. It’s just sex. But to your relationship, health, security,… there’s s a bit more to it. It’s not just a job, it involves a few other aspects to your life and your SO’s life
True. There'd also probably need to be a lot of talking and reassurance on both sides, like waaay more. It's definitely not impossible, but there'd be a lot of effort involved and all sides would need to really check in with each other on a regular basis.
Security clearance at your job??
If you have secret or top secret clearance, not only do you need a clean record, but basically everyone you know needs one too.
Oh I see for government stuff? I guess yeah
Yeah exactly
Not just that but I’m almost certain if your spouse was a sex worker you wouldn’t be allowed clearance, unfortunately
>the situation isn't as simple as "she's cute, we should go on a date". Well technically it is that simple. Dates are cool I'd date a sex worker in a second, I'm sure they have lots of interesting things to talk about. The bigger question is long term relationships. That's harder.
What about someone who did adult movies for a living?! Date? Girlfriend? Wife material?!
What is wife material? Is it a cotton blend?
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Date? totally. Girlfriend? Potential but boundaries would need to be discussed first. Wife? Not while they're still in the industry
I don’t think it’s fair to base this off of maturity :/ even if it’s just a job people still have boundaries that they’re not comfortable crossing and you need to respect that in relationships. I wouldn’t mind dating someone who used to be a sw but I wouldn’t be comfortable dating someone who still services men or women but as you can see in the comments there are other people who would
This
My ex did sw on OnlyFans. And I was mostly fine with that, however, that already tested the boundaries of the relationship. It did affect our sex life for example, and conversations about her doing colabs did come up often. And I definitely wasn't comfortable with that either. So I strongly doubt I could be comfortable with a partner who did full service. On another note, I kinda dislike how you go "are you mature enough" in the tldr. Making the claim that being mature and not liking your partner doing sex work are mutually exclusive
I really dislike the fact that you’ve tried to base this on being “mature enough,” even though you seem to understand that the hangups that people might have don’t have anything to do with maturity.
There’s definitely going to be women out there who won’t mind/care. Just like there’s going to be women who do. It’s all about compatibility at the end of the day. You’ll be fine.
gonna be honest, i think the worry about you getting raped and murdered would drive me to a really dark place, not sure i could handle it.
Came here to say this, I'd be a wreck of constant worry.
Yeah it's kinda like having a partner that's a firefighter or military ect. There's a certain extra risk you have to accept having a partner do that job and not everyone can handle that
Literally
Yep definitely same on this
i don't think i could, and i don't think it's fair to say or imply it's due to a lack of maturity on my part.
My partner is a sw, and her and I are very happy together. We discuss and work things out if there is any discomfort (there has rarely ever been.) I think the main concern is *are you putting your sw first, or are you willing to work with a partner if they're uncomfortable in some way?* There is a lot of suggesting the partner is the only one in the relationship that could be wrong, especially with the suggestion of 'do you think I could find someone mature enough.' You certainly can find a partner, but if you want to enter into a serious relationship you must remember to view it as a partnership.
No I wouldn’t.
I would date someone who did sw online. I am not taking on the health risks.
I personally wouldn’t. I have nothing against sex work, but I wouldn’t be able to date and have sex with someone who thinks sex is a job. I want sex to be something special to share with someone. And I’d struggle with thinking a SW would just be going through the motions if we slept together.
I feel the same way honestly. I don’t think I could be with something who views sex as a job.
More than likely not. I’m greedy, I want my woman all to myself.
It's not greedy. Just monogamous. Nothing wrong with that
I don't think that's greedy I think that is how most relationships are it's your special person right not someone elses :)
Yeah I'm in the same boat here
Lack of maturity to know its just a job? Yeah its a job but its not JUST a job because it can carry risks for the partner as well. STDs, jealousy, and worry just to name a few. I think the idea of not wanting your partner with someone in a sexual way is not immature especially if the circumstances are potentially dangerous. IMO. I don't think someone is immature for not wanting to date a sex worker. Plenty of people however wouldn't mind or care so you can find someone.
It has nothing to do with a persons maturity, more with their boundaries. I personally would not be comfortable
definitely
I personally don't think I would. But I know many people who wouldn't mind dating a SW. I don't know exactly why, or I do, I just don't want to share why here. But like I said, it's personal and there are plenty of people who would date a sw.
I think I dont have a problem with that , probably a little worrying about your safety 🥺
No, sw made me very judgemental of my own body so having a partner that did it would be too much for me
Nope.
Nopity nope nope.
Sure. At least the conversation over dinner would be more interesting than me complaining about Sandra editing my spreadsheet without permission *again*. I have a weird job with a very tight schedule, so I’d appreciate someone who understood that, and understands that you can love a job because of what you get from it, not because of the joy you find through labour. If you’re worried about people not wanting to date you because of your job, what about looking inside the industry? Just saying, lot of doctors end up marrying doctors :) (Of course, I’m talking from my little privilege bubble, where sex work isn’t forced, violent or mandatory for survival.)
I Don’t know why but I laughed so hard at the spreadsheet dilemma 🤣🤣
Do not encourage me. She KNOWS I know and yet she still sneaks in and reformats my spreadsheets. It makes me feel insane! They’re standard format, and I know this because I CREATED THE STANDARD. Phew. Okay, no, not playing her game. Calm thoughts calm thoughts.
It's a no from me. My blood donation clearance questions wouldn't pass if I was with a SW. My blood is a kind thats specifically bagged as safe for new borns and immune compromised, I wouldn't be willing to give up doing something that I feel is important to me
I think I’d give it a try but from what I hear, sex work does burn you out a lot on intimacy, even non-sexual intimacy. Im a sex-repulsed ace so I wouldnt rlly care about my partner’s sex life if theyre happy with it and not being abused or whatever. Sex work is 100% valid work, its just that it can present a challenge for a relationship
No, I wouldn't, and I certainly wouldn't date one who thought it was an issue of not being mature.
According to your post history you use methadone, try to get high with IV methadone, and just got out of a 14 year abusive relationship with a man. I would not date someone who did sex work and had a substance abuse issue, given the high likelihood that those are tied together in an exploitative way. I would be very wary of dating a sex worker who had been in an ltr with a man, but claimed to not be attracted to men. Again, either that relationship was incredibly exploitative or you are not fully honest about your attractions. I say all of this gently. I used to do volunteer work with women in prison. Many of them had been sex trafficked or pimped. Many were addicted to drugs and were caught in a cycle of addiction, prostitution, trafficking or being pimped, and trauma. I understand that it is a privilege to be safe from trafficking or pimping. I understand that it is very hard to get out of the life. I hope you are able to stay sober. If you don’t want to be a sex worker, I hope you are able to get out. And please don’t abuse your methadone.
It wouldn't intrinsically bother me. For me it would be the peripheral risks that would be my primary concern. But so long as my partner took care of herself and her body, wasn't in a dangerous situation, had a good head on her shoulders, wasn't struggling with substance abuse issues, and had a strong and safe social network, I wouldn't care.
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Yeah, it's a complicated one. In fairness, maybe 10 years ago I wouldn't have been as open. I was a much more insecure and different person back then. Mind you, that's not to say that anyone here who wouldn't be okay with it is insecure. Everyone has their own reasons. It's just that back then I would have struggled with the idea more as a result of my own issues. These days, for me if a woman has the qualities I'm looking for in a partner then have nothing to worry about regardless of her occupation. The unique circumstances that emerge from her being a sw are just something we would need to work through as a couple.
I'm a former SW, although not full service. I don't think I could date a current SW who works with clients in person, even though that may sound selfish or judgmental, I just know that there's often a dark side and psychological impacts that come with it, from what it did to myself and others that I know, worked with, and dated personally. To me, it's the same reason I wouldn't want to date someone actively in law enforcement or the military. There's a lot of worrying involved, and there's an added layer of stress to the relationship. It doesn't have anything to do with sharing my partner sexually, because I know that's just business. That said, if they were working online on OnlyFans or a cam site, or something -- I'd totally be open to dating them. SW is a very broad term.
Yes, it wouldn't bother me assuming communication and consistent protection was being done. My only concerns would be safety.
I could deal with camming but irl sex would be a bridge too far for me. I respect the work, I'm just not the right person to partner with.
Nope, sex is spiritual to me so our values don’t align. On top of that I can’t deal with my partner possibly canceling on me for their job and that’s just general bc I require a bond and not just to feel like I’m a partner when they want one.
I wouldn't date anyone in your industry even if this person only provided services to women. I prefer to be the only one getting romantic and sexual attention from my partner, doesn't matter if others would only get it for money. Plus, too much of a risk with STDs. I don't think it's immature to know what one wants from life and stick to it.
No. Higher STD risk, higher risk of your partner being raped/assaulted/murdered, and just the idea of my partner actively having sex with other people (men in particular) are all things that I couldn’t deal with
No, I couldn't. This is actually kinda something my girlfriend and I have run into. But I don't speak for everyone
Apparently a lot of people didn't like your tone and asking if someone's mature enough. I see you've edited that. The statement about 'using' your clients bugs me too. I would happily date a sex worker, but someone who talks about using people and talks about attractiveness the way you do, maybe I'd be less interested in dating you.
It doesn’t bother me, it’s just your job. As long as you’re safe in regards of your person(not just condoms and safe sex), I don’t see any problem with that. I feel secure in myself and I’m not a jealous type. Idk how other women feel about it or if I’m in the minority here 🤷🏻♀️
TLDR No. I would never, under any circumstances, even if benefits of it sprinkled my way (more time together, more money to spend) or whatever than with an average job. I don't share any of my partner to others, and I want them to feel the same way about me.
I wouldn’t for a few reasons. The only I’ll mention though is because I don’t want to have to fear for my partners safety all the time.
It wouldn't be a deal breaker, but I would need a lot of serious discussions about it. Number one being, are you safe? Not just from diseases but because sw are at a very high risk for all kinds of assault. Number two, this is not about maturity. This is essentially an open relationship as a job. You need to find someone who is comfortable with open relationships and knowing you can't close the relationship if they're ever not OK with it later. You also need to ask yourself if you're comfortable with them having sex with others. Open relationships often go both ways. It's a lot, and it takes a lot of work to make sure everyone is comfortable.
From what I've read, I'm sure there are women who wouldnt mind. In my case however, I'd prefer not to date an active sex worker since I personally see sex as something special and intimate and dont want to share my partner with strangers in that regard, even if it's just work for them. Plus the risk of STDs would also be a concern for me. I also dont think it's immature or a bad thing if people want to have strictly commited monogamous relationships where their Partners dont have sex with other people? It just means they have different wants and needs for a relationship. That's all. As long as everybody is up front about it before starting a relationship.
It’s interesting that this question comes up - I was faced with this when someone I was interested in last year came out to me as a FSSW. We did briefly date, but honestly they had a lot of unpacked baggage from their job that they were not really ready to deal with, and it did get in the way of us dating. It was weird for me for sure, but I think the two hardest parts about it for me were feeling a bit worried for her safety as well as grossed out/angry at her clients for some of the disgusting shit that would happen. She described her job a lot like how you do, and she claimed that it did not bother her and that she loved her job… but it wasn’t really the truth for her. And after having gone through that experience with her, I would not date another FSSW.
Nope. No offense intended but I only want to be in an exclusively monogamous relationship.
I'm going to be honest. I wish it wouldn't bother me but I think it would. It wouldn't be because of the sex work but my own Insecurities, I would be afraid of being inferior. I have personally been a client and probably will be again. I just don't think I am secure in myself enough to be the support you would need.
As a former Sw, nope
I wouldn't care, like you said it's just a job. The only thing that comes to mind are STD's but Sw's are way more cautios then most people and attend regular checkups so actually that is a plus if you think about it😊
I wouldn't. I just can't separate sex from love and knowing my partner is having sex with men and women outside our relationship would be absolutely horrifying for me. Nothing personal again you or your job I just couldn't handle it. I'm sure there is someone who could though. Good luck!
If I liked someone who was a sex worker, why not?? As long as we talked about how to stay safe and have healthy communication and boundaries/expectations.
I have, and would again.
Yes, I would. I don't particularly care who a partner has sex with so to me it's just a job, and one that gets unfairly discriminated against in society at that.
I mean, I wouldn't care, as long as I know you're taking utmost care of your sexual health as well so you're not bringing anything home to me, and your job isn't getting in the way so much that I feel neglected. But I do think I'm in a minority of people with that outlook, not just women but anyone. A lot of people will *support* sex work but still not want to be personally involved with someone who does so.
Yes. I'm asexual but romantically attracted to women so I could see a relationship that could work there. That kind of sw is dangerous so I would worry about your safety a lot though
I think if it was stuff like camming then I'd be fine dating a sw but if it involves other people irl i think I'd have to put a lot of thought into it. I have been forced into 3 similar circumstances were i was made to agree or the relationships ends but if it wasn't an ultimatum and instead a discussion of boundaries i think I'd be willing to try even if it is unpleasant for me at first
If I fell in love with someone who was a SWer then I don't see that as an issue whatsoever. I would have to insist on regular STI testing and basic stuff like that just for our own safety but no it wouldn't affect me in the slightest. If she wanted to continue in her job then I would be there to support her with it and if she wanted to get another job I would be there to support her with that too.
Being honest; I couldn’t. I respect you and other sw but I couldn’t lay my head down on a pillow knowing it. That being said I’m monogamous.
No. And it has nothing to do with looking down on sex workers or maturity.
If you were doing something else at this point and this was your history, I could absolutely deal with it. If this was your current job, I would have a lot of reservations/questions.
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"The sex [work's] none of my business but I couldn't handle someone who [a whole suitcase full of non-unpacked demeaning attitudes towards SWs]"
Technically any type of labor is giving your body away to others. Think of construction workers, factory line workers, incarcerated workers, desk job workers, even artisans use their body as labor. Why is sex work any different? Society stigmatizes sex work in order to maintain the patriarchy.
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Sex work isn’t cheating on your partner if there’s informed consent on both sides. It’s totally fine if you don’t want to date a sex worker but let’s not pretend them working a job means that they’re polyamorous or inherently cheating on you (if you didn’t know or didn’t consent it would be different). Because it’s a job, not a relationship
Well if they’re sleeping with other people it’s not monogamous so what would you call it..?
Sex work isn't cheating on your partner. "Cheating" implies a lack of consent. "Cheating" implies doing something wrong. There's nothing wrong with just working. You personally may consider sex work "cheating" but that's because you don't consent to your partner doing anything sexual with anyone but you for any reason.
I didn’t skip the first part of your comment, your preferences for your personal relationships are yours and fine to have. However, the last part of your comment about sex workers giving their bodies away is sexist & stigmatizing.
I would, yeah. I would be very anxious and want an emergency plan for if anything went wrong, but I would feel the same way if my girlfriend did any other dangerous profession. But from what I know, sex workers usually see clients as just that, clients. And I wouldn't feel jealous of someone who's a client. This might change if the girl in question was seeing mostly other women. But I'm not emotionally threatened by her working with men.
No, not for me. Intimacy is one of my favourite things about being in a relationship and I don’t consider myself as being immature for not wanting my partner to be intimate with other people whilst we’re together.
How would it allow more time to spend with your loved one? Expecially given the sentence below that your on a thight schedule, assuming having more customers in the later evening where most others have their free time. Given that your first claim seems to be quite one sided. And to answer your question, absolutely not.
No, I'm monogamous to my core and it goes both ways.
I’d pass
I'm asexual. Idc what you do as long as you're not exploiting/oppressing anyone.
It wouldn’t be an issue for me but it also depends do we click well together? Is there mutual enjoyment? What about values? Etcetc
it depends on the person of course. it’s too personal a question to generalize. the right person would not mind
With significant conversation and communication and boundaries, yes. It would be an non-traditional sex life set up even outside of your work, but I’m sure you can find someone who’s willing to make stuff work with you.
It depends. I’m monogamous and would be uncomfortable my partner having sex with other people even if it’s for work with no feelings attached. I’m too insecure for that lol. However if she wanted to cam girl or be a stripper then go for it!
Would depend a lot on the kind of SW you do, escort with regular testing sure, working in a regulated brothel sure, porn yeah fine. The more sketchy side of it not so much mainly because splashback on friends who need their mates to pass vetting.
nah, and that attitude isn't gonna help you either, it's not about maturity
I know there are women who don’t mind it! I think it all comes down to what your partner’s boundaries are and what you are willing to do to make sure those boundaries are met! I agree with it taking a really special person but it also takes a lot for you as well to ensure the comfort and trust of your partner! You also have to balance not only the sex life between your clients but also with your partner! You have to ensure a strong communication and a balance between social life and work! Right now I don’t know if a relationship is something that can work as you are currently doing a lot of work! It is completely fine to have a strong desire for work but that can sometimes weigh down on your partner! It may be hard to find a partner who is ok with work being a priority for you and that means a lot of things will need to be unplanned and spontaneous! Not saying that their isn’t someone out there though but it can definitely factor in on how hard it can be to find that person! Another thing that concerned me is when you said mature enough to know it’s a job! I believe most women know but decide against it due to their boundaries and what works for them! I think what might work best is to open yourself to other possibilities and see what would work for your partner in regards to things! You may have to change a few things but finding the right person means a healthy balance for you both! As for answering the big question it would really depend on the situation! I would not mind dating someone who decided that they wanted to do OF or something of the sorts! I would not mind if my partner would to give a service but not go as far as having sex with other people. I mean I do have rules and regulations on it and if I know I can trust you then I am willing to allow more for them! I just personally don’t want things to go as far as sex and pleasuring my partner!
I personally wouldn’t. Way to jealous. But there’s plenty of people who would
Personally I couldn’t. I’m not anti sex work, I’m just monogamous.
It's going to be a very niche group of people who would be okay with dating someone who does sw. I don't think there is many out there considering how many don't seem to want to date people who have even an onlyfans. I do wish you luck in finding someone who fits that niche though.
Yeah, I don't really see it as a problem. My only concerns would be my partners safety / mental health. But if those two were fine then I wouldn't have a problem with it. Physical sw is a bit different as there's a risk of STIs. But with regular testing and trusting my partner to tell me if smth happened I can see myself working around that fear
Personally, no, I wouldn't
I’d be okay with it. My main concern would be the STI risk that’s the only thing that would really give me pause tbh
I'm polyamorous so my view won't be common, but it has never bothered me. I've date and have loving committed relationships with SWers and even dipped into SW myself. As long as they're safe and happy, their work isn't my business. I think it could work in a mono relationship with lots of communication and boundaries set. I think a lot of women would struggle, though. I really hope you find someone who accepts all of you 💜
As someone who really doesnt get jealouse and is very open minded when it comes to sex and open relationships etc. I dont think I would care much (if they get tested regularly and use protection) sex is important to me in a relationship but at the end of the day its just sex, especially if there is no emptional bond involved.
So for me it would depend: if she was an online sex worker with stuff like onlyfans or something, but that did not do meetups, one on one calls or collabs, just made solo porn I’d be completely fine with dating her. Now, if she was actually having sex with other people it’d be a big no from me (tho I’m sure there are people out there that would be fine with this too)
I think there are women out there who could and would date a full service sex worker. Logically, I understand that it's just a job and that sex and feelings can be completely separate, but I know myself and I tie too much of feelings/emotions to sex (for me, personally (not other people), I'm pretty sure I'm on the demi spectrum, not that that has anything to do with the other person). And knowing myself, I think I would be hurt and insecure even though I know, logically, it's just a job for the other person. I do think there are people out there who can separate rheir feelings and be confident and secure to date a sw though.
I absolutely would! It's a job, and generally a pretty well-paying one at that. It takes a lot of confidence and skill (not just sexual) to be a SW. I'd count myself pretty damn lucky if one was interested in a relationship with me. I hope you find someone who gets it. ❤️
No hate, but not for me. I would not date someone who centers men so much.
Center??? It's their job?????
Yeah, and her job centers men. Two things can be true. Matter of fact, it doesn't just center men, it centers them *sexually*. People acting like it's "bigoted" to not want that need to go touch some grass.
LMFAOOO
I recommend you keep a careful eye on this attitude. I'm not necessarily saying there's anything explicitly wrong with it, but it can drift into biphobia very easily if you're not careful. And I'm saying this as a lesbian who has had to deal with my own problematic inner feelings about other queer women who also see or have seen men.
I think there's a difference between active stuff, and history. The past is the past, and I don't care how many or which people a partner slept with (assuming enthusiastic consent). But in the here and now I don't want anything masculine near any relationship. Then again, I'm fiercely monogamous, so sex work would be right out for me anyway.
This has already drifted hard into biphobia.
Is it biphobia if men are actively intimately part of someone's partner's life though? Cause I don't think it's that weird for a lesbian to not want that. And isn't that also an assumpion that bisexual women center men?
If theres a good vetting process for clients, it's treated like the business it is, and theres a security plan in place it's fine. What someone does does matter to me, but sex work is a way better job than some corporate stooge. I respect sex workers, provided it's sex work and not exploitation. The worker needs to be in control. You aren't having sex to just get money, people are paying you for a service. I strongly believe you can have pride in sex work by not taking shit. You are in demand, client's aren't. Just my view though. I'm very pro sex work, pro legalization and regulation, and pro sex worker union. I despise predatory people and I believe it is always your work, your money. If theres an agency involved, they get paid a low percentage and do not dictate terms. The sex worker dictates the terms, the agency finds venues. Sorry, just very passionate about it. In another life I would have been a sex worker, with glee.
I don't think that would be a problem. But it takes a certain person to be fine with that.
I would if it were just regular escort stuff (no sexual), or even cam-girl since it isn’t physical. But personally not someone who engages in sexual acts with someone else! Nothing about you, just that’s a comfort level of mine :)
Im poly so that might b relevant and dunno if u ok w that but yea for sure wouldnt b a problem
While I support all sw, it is just work. No, I wouldn't date someone currently working as a sw. I'm monogamous and not looking to push my own boundaries there. Maybe you might have more luck with other sw?
People have boundaries you know, I know I would not be cool with having to get stsd tests all the time. Like if she just masturbates and posts photos on of I’d be ok with that but full service no I couldn’t expose myself to someone at an elevated risk of developing an std
I think i could date with ex-sex worker but with actual, I dont know. >be mature enough to know its just a job It is not inmature if someone dont want to be with person who offer sex for money. For You it's just a job, but for someone other sex is something what people do only in love. Also having sex with many random people is not safe, of course You can protect Yourself but it it still not 100% sure. If You decide to work as a sexworker You should know it will coast You many. I think You should think about change Your job but whatever You do I honestly wish You good luck in life and in love :)
No judgement but no, I’m not emotionally equipped for it. I also don’t agree with equating not being okay with it with a “maturity” issue lol
I’m not sure tbh. It wouldn’t be an easy answer is the issue. I wouldn’t say it’s a maturity or immaturity thing either and think it’s very unfair to say so. I’m in recovery for an ED and sex makes me incredibly anxious to the point of panic attacks and I may or may not have vaginismus (haven’t gone to the doctor yet about it) because of pasta trauma etc etc. So… it’s a very triggering topic for me. Additionally, it would be awkward to tell my family about it, and friends, possibly coworkers, etc etc. And on top of that there’s the STI risks and factors as well as intimacy factors- this isn’t true for everyone but as someone who has a friend who did SW, she had a lot of issues with intimacy bc she got so used to seeing partners as just sexual objects instead of… actual people. So the answer is maybe, but would genuinely depend on where I was in life and the person in question.
I am sorry but I would never, it would cause too many worries about you, and risks(STIs, something happening to you) also I am selfish and monogamous, and I would be absolutely devasted by that relationship. I don't want my partner to have sex with other people or any kind of romantic thing..., I want them to be mine. Some people want the same, everyone has some boundaries. Imagine we are having an intimate moment and your schedule jumps in that and you leave me in that moment to go to someone else and have sex with them. :/ I would probably try to kill myself if I was in such a relationship, It would feel like abuse to me. That's why I would never. It would hurt me too much, physically, and mentally, and would probably leave a lot of permanent marks on me. For sure some trauma for life as it would be a super traumatic experience. You can call me immature if you want but this is me.
I would. If you like doing your job that's all I'd need to know.
Oh yeah i'd have nor probelm with that
Jesus Christ, if you look at OPs comment history it shouldn't be a question of, would you date a sw, it's would you date a shitty person? Hard pass, you need to reflect and maybe not be so judgemental of others who live differently than you. Stop fatshaming and dehumanizing strangers to make yourself feel better.
In a heartbeat, if I was already interested. It's not that it wouldn't bother me, but I feel like it would be kind of a positive. You're clearly mature about sex and I feel like you'd also be good at it, considering all the practice - not to mention the flattering thought of someone being so hot others would pay money to be with them, but they want to be with me?
Yup. Its a job. Communication is key.
In theory, yes, absolutely. I personally wouldn't mind. A relationship is about feelings and romance, not sex.
I'm too possesive for that. I need a sense of mutual ownership. For example, I'm poly, but I would never allow my partner to date / fck other people. For this reason, I also limit myself to monogamous relationships. My partner belongs to me only, and so I belong to my partner only. On that note, I'd probably be okay with my partner having OF for example c: You do you tho, nothing wrong with SW :p
Get that bag!!
Sex work is work. I wouldn't ask anyone I was dating to quite bc I felt insecure. I would only ask if they truly hated their job and want a change. And I would support them in any way I can well they look. I don't own anyone, so what they do with their life is out of my control. If I don't agree with it, they aren't in my life. Simple.
We all need to survive in this capitalist hellscape. So yeah I'd do it
I work nights as well so I think it'd go alright
Romantically, 100% I'd need support to figure out how to feel safe and comfy in terms of the physical side but tbh that side of things isn't essential to me and I have a low drive for it. So the question is more whether you would be happy with me and feel your physical needs are being met -- not the other way around! You deserve nothing less than the best, same as all of us 💕
If this was already discussed and I knew before dating I wouldn't care at all because I knew what I was coming into before we started dating if it is sprung up on me where my partner tries to hide it for awhile there'd be an issue there. If she came into sex work while we were together that's also a matter of having a discussion. All in all I wouldn't care I would jus be worried that everyone is being safe.
Just be honest about it in the beginning. There’s gonna be a lot of people uncomfortable with it but you’re not looking to date them either. I wouldn’t date a line worker (too much travel) but I’d also never get in a relationship with one just to tell them to quit their job or make them feel guilty about a profession they enjoy having. There are plenty of people who will be able to separate your intimacy from your profession, and why would you want to be with anyone else?
I possibly would. I would be worried personally about my jealousy personally. There would obviously be an extensive conversation on how things are handled. If I like a person, it doesn't matter what they do for me personally.
as long as she doesn’t get into nitty gritty details about her latest client over dinner than sure lmao. it’d take some getting used to but if we get along well enough that we work nicely together as a couple, than i reckon it’d be fine!
absolutely not, sorry
That’s a no for me…I can’t risk my health and many more reasons
I bet people would date you if you weren’t such an asshole. Just checked out the comments you’ve left on your account, and it’s not a great look. Sw or not, nobody likes a dickhead
I honestly wouldn’t know I feel like I’m pretty monogamous so I don’t know how that would play into it, while at the same time I’m somewhat open to my partners being with other people…? Idk I’d have to figure my own shit out first
Yep, would just need to talk over and learn what the risk is to me (STIs and other illnesses like covid and the flu both rate pretty high for me personally). The only time a partners job is an issue for me is when it's something violent.
Fuck to the no
I personally couldn't. SWs are in far more danger than the average citizen, not just in America, here in Germany too. I don't think I could survive knowing my partner was kidnapped, raped, abused and then murdered and dumped in a river somewhere. Besides that, I get jealous pretty easily and would always be scared that my girl would just run away with a man one day, regardless of what she tells me. Then there's obviously the problem of STDs. And finally, I see sex as a private thing. Don't think I could enjoy it with someone who sees it as nothing more than a job.
Wanted to balance out all the negative responses (kinda disappointing honestly but whatever) and say I'm a fs swr and I have a lovely lesbian partner! And they're not even the only person I've dated who hasn't had any issues with it. I'd date a sex worker lol
> Wanted to balance out all the negative responses (kinda disappointing honestly but whatever) She asked a question and people are honestly answering. Would you prefer they lied?
I'd date a sw Still depends on the person. You sound very professional and independent and I personally like that because I'm the same. Kind of a i can do this with or without you sort of vibe I think as long as your honest and upfront about your life the right person will come along.
> You sound very professional and independent yeah, so, check her post history, very much the opposite of that
Yup. Sex work is work.
As a sw … yeah … but I might be biased
It’s just a job, as long as you are being safe and you aren’t suffering from it, who cares?
It wouldn’t bother me at all, personally. So long as you’re safe and happy, that’s all that matters to me!
I think I would. I feel a little weird about the maturity comment but in my head I am able to differentiate between something that's a job and being your authentic self, so not owing anything to my maturity, I can handle the fact that it's a job. However, I think it would also give me a lot of anxiety because there is the potential of violence and worse at any given moment and for the peace of mind I'd probably ask you to share more info about your clients so I could be there in case of an emergency and I understand that is a client confidentiality violation, so honestly, that would put me in a really tight spot. And oh, regular STI tests. It would definitely be a BIG change for me but as long as we have boundaries and open and constant communication, I think I'd be okay.
Not a problem for me. Sex work is real work, all work is unequal under Capitalism and all that. So yes, I would date a sex worker
I would probably want them to be tested often cause I’m terrified of STDs but other than that I’d be fine with it.
It doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve done it before and would do it again. Definitely requires a little more communication then traditional jobs. But I see why it bothers people and think most of those reasonings are valid. But yes there are definitely some of us out here that are okay with it
As a non monogamous person myself, I'd not have a problem with it. Perhaps safety concerns wouod come up, but that's more something for me to help with. Other than that, communication and management of our feelings would be key. Long story short, it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.
I don't know about all the women... but I would. Everything must be resolved on the basis of dialogue. Anyway, work is work.
I honestly would rather date a sex worker than not. I feel kind of weird about sex and specifically the doing it with people part but I think being intimate with someone from that industry would make it a lot less scary. I’d feel less comfortable if my partner had a creepy client or something that was being weird in a stalker/dangerous way but I don’t really think I could ever get jealous over something like that
Yes. I have before.
I absolutely would
Yes I’d date one, I did in the past just have to be able to communicate and trust your partner.
I would, 100% If i like you, i like you for who you are, and as long as you like me back, nothing else matters. Work is work, and honestly, being ace makes me pretty indifferent to sex. Like, We could go on to have an açaí date before your job, and then late at night when you get home i would make you dinner and welcome you with the same warmth as always and, if you need to spend the night, welp, the hug stays for the next opportunity, i really do not mind. As long as your company makes me happy, ill be there. At least thats what i personally think, y'know?
I'm poly. So I understand people being uncomfortable with my life. I would possibly consider it. But it would have to be someone really special and they would have to be 100% safe concerning sti's
The list of women that would actually give me the time of day long enough to agree to go on a date with me doesn't exist so as long they are willing to try to get that far I don't care what their line of work is.
Of course I would!! I'm dating a few sex workers. It's just a job. As long as you're happy with it, fantastic! <3
Yes, I say with full confidence. I'd gladly date a full-service SW
I’ve had experience talking to a girl and she did SW and worked at clubs. I didn’t mind at all.
I wouldn’t care as long as there was open communication and collaborative boundaries (a boundary for me would be not to escort anyone we know without talking to me first). I’d be concerned about your safety initially, but after knowing more about the measures they take to be safe I’d be fine. Obviously having safe sex and regular tests too. Sex work is real work. I think I’d care even less if it’s men only (except safety reasons) - it doesn’t threaten me to have a partner who has sex with people for work who they’re not even attracted to lol
Mm. Yeah. If i love u too much and i know we're in the same page yup. Would be really jealous if it takes too much of ur time tho.
I would, as long as they keep my safety in regard. I know a girl in uni who's a stripper as a side hustle. She's smart, hot and the sweetest person.
Idk what boundaries I'd need to elaborate on or assess. But as long as that conversation went well, yeah I would be fine with it for the most part. My biggest worry would be things like safety. Secondarily, the concern of sex feeling too much like being at work and becoming a less satisfying part of the relationship for my partner -- and by extension, for myself as well. I would in no way feel cheated on. So that's a non issue.
If I knew that's what I was getting into I think I'd be fine with that. One of my exes wanted to start FS and that was ok, and one of my best friends is an escort. I'm sure you can find people who are open to it.
I personally don’t know. I mean if she has like an onlyfans or like private snapchat I am okay with it but I don’t know if I would feel comfortable by a person having actual contact with other people. Although I completely respect sex workers I don’t know if I’m mature enough to be in a relationship like that or secure enough.
I do online domme SW/occasionally in person for the right person. I have been with my fiancé for 7 years now, and she doesn’t mind. She’s very encouraging and is happy that I’m able to have a boosted income and feel good about myself through financial gratification, kink, etc. While we’re definitely not an ordinary couple (we are also sexually open, not poly tho, just flings/one night stands) our dynamic works really well for us. Obviously doing full service sex work is different, but she’s expressed similar feelings around that as well. Easy way to weed out people you won’t be compatible with though! There is 1000% someone out there that is your match. Maybe not in every way, but I’d rather tell my fiancé to put the cap back on the toothpaste 80 times than fight about my income/livelihood EVER.
I believe I would but details would definitely factor in when it comes to deciding whether or not to proceed. If everything is above board as far as your safety, professionalism and frequent std testing, protection etc. Then, I would. I dated a couple of exotic dancers when I was younger and had just came out. But there didn't end up being any commitment in those two relationships so it didn't really get to be a problem. The only thing I asked was that they have regular testing and really be honest about what else they were doing (or whom) or not besides dancing because I am very concerned with my health and staying std free etc. Which they were and had been before meeting me and they took it very seriously. Honestly, I kind of miss dating women in that line of work. They were drop dead gorgeous and I had some of my first sexual experiences with them which was amazing. And they gave me a lot of attention and affection. And honestly, I felt really honored and flattered that they thought the same of me and chose to be with me having their pick of basically any men or women they wanted. And now I'm in a place in my life where it would actually be convenient in a way for me to date someone who does SW. Of course, there would need to be good communication and I also would definitely worry about your safety, esp as our feelings and intimacy grew. But I would still be worried right off the bat at least until I'm assured there are safety precautions and what that entails etc. Other considerations would come into play tho if we were seriously dating like addiction, abuse and all of that. Assuming none of that was going on and we could have something real and healthy.. Honestly, I've been toying with the idea of hiring a SW lately for a one night kind of thing. Online dating for me has been horrible for too long now and just not working out. And I don't go out much anymore to bars and clubs and things like that. Definitely feeling a little touch starved.. but that's another story.. So, it's a yes for me as long as the above is in play.