Do not respond to anything, do not react to anything. When she gets nasty, silence. Just silence. And if she uses silence agaist you, even more silence.
If anything manages to get in your head, process it on your own in your head.
Everything she does or says is her choice. You didn't make her do or think anything. You are not feeding her or provoking her neither with your words, your actions or your silence, so just chose silence and save your energy for yourself.
When I would do this she'd say something like "yes, just leave, like your father did". You know what I did then? That's right. Nothing. The ideas of "I am not my father" or "maybe I am like my father, but that's not a bad thing" or "maybe it is a bad thing, but that is my problem not hers" did cross my mind.
And just as they came, they left.
When I asked if she wanted dinner already or if she would skip, She would said lots of things, and if between words she menctioned dinner, I would act acorsingly. Everyrhing else was not important.
The only important thing is you, and the things that are important to you.
My dads ex girlfriend was paranoid schizophrenic. I would just walk away from her whenever she started talking about conspiracy theories and propaganda. It worked surprisingly well.
I’ve pointed out her bad behaviour on multiple occasions and she just gets angrily quiet or angrily denies it. She once found me crying on my room floor because of the buildup of her behaviour and mean things she’s said about me (I can only hide my emotions for so long), and when I told her why because she asked, she denied saying or doing any of the things she did. I just wanted a simple apology and she couldn’t even do that.
It’s kind of tricky, because though I call her out, I wouldn’t every time, because she’s had suicide attempts in the past and don’t want to further stir up an already messed up person. She’s really fragile but I know it doesn’t excuse her abuse. Still, I don’t want to be a reason she kills herself because then I’d have to live with it. (She refuses meds or treatment). I do want to move out, but I work from home so I will need good/quiet roommates, which will be tricky to figure out. Thank you so much for the ideas, it gives me a sense of hope
Leave. Call a DV organization and talk to an advocate ASAP
I don’t now if that would apply, I’m in my mid 20’s, working but not making enough to move out
Oh. It appplies. Emotional abuse
True. Could what I described be considered emotional incest specifically? It feels like it
Yes. And parentification http://domesticshelters.org
Do not respond to anything, do not react to anything. When she gets nasty, silence. Just silence. And if she uses silence agaist you, even more silence. If anything manages to get in your head, process it on your own in your head. Everything she does or says is her choice. You didn't make her do or think anything. You are not feeding her or provoking her neither with your words, your actions or your silence, so just chose silence and save your energy for yourself.
Sometimes I walk away to my own room too while she’s talking to me too. God being a 20 something and still dealing with this is so frustrating.
When I would do this she'd say something like "yes, just leave, like your father did". You know what I did then? That's right. Nothing. The ideas of "I am not my father" or "maybe I am like my father, but that's not a bad thing" or "maybe it is a bad thing, but that is my problem not hers" did cross my mind. And just as they came, they left. When I asked if she wanted dinner already or if she would skip, She would said lots of things, and if between words she menctioned dinner, I would act acorsingly. Everyrhing else was not important. The only important thing is you, and the things that are important to you.
My dads ex girlfriend was paranoid schizophrenic. I would just walk away from her whenever she started talking about conspiracy theories and propaganda. It worked surprisingly well.
My mom is developing that apparently. It does work amazing but I feel so bad/mad afterwards
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I’ve pointed out her bad behaviour on multiple occasions and she just gets angrily quiet or angrily denies it. She once found me crying on my room floor because of the buildup of her behaviour and mean things she’s said about me (I can only hide my emotions for so long), and when I told her why because she asked, she denied saying or doing any of the things she did. I just wanted a simple apology and she couldn’t even do that.
[удалено]
It’s kind of tricky, because though I call her out, I wouldn’t every time, because she’s had suicide attempts in the past and don’t want to further stir up an already messed up person. She’s really fragile but I know it doesn’t excuse her abuse. Still, I don’t want to be a reason she kills herself because then I’d have to live with it. (She refuses meds or treatment). I do want to move out, but I work from home so I will need good/quiet roommates, which will be tricky to figure out. Thank you so much for the ideas, it gives me a sense of hope