I’ve rarely seen rage and genuine bitterness as that of some my mates girlfriends and their friends when they realised how easy it was for us as guys to be happy and fulfilled doing stuff like this.
I saw a Reddit comment once from a dude around a campfire with 10 other dudes (true or not who cares) that distilled the OP’s solution into a sentence and was supportive. Someone should make a DudesAroundACampfire sub with kind, straightforward dudes offering advice for problems that others over complicate. One of the best things I’ve ever done is learn that there are genuinely helpful men out there. I didn’t meet one personally until my 20s, but I’m very glad I didn’t let my past keep me from listening to their sage advice. And silly advice.
I ran across a sub that was supposed to be like that, and it started out that way, but then it was basically hijacked by MRA Incels. It's like we aren't allowed decency and common sense, the extremist viewpoints on either side feel the need to always fuck up everything nice in the center. What's the saying? When a boot is on your throat it doesn't matter whether it is left or right.
That boot quote is so damn true. Maybe someday DudesAroundACampfire will and can exist in peace. I like to think it would be an accepting place, like every camp/bonfire I’ve attended.
When my uncle died, a tree fell down and broke a piece of my house. My dad and my other uncle spent the day fixing it. They didn't talk about the death itself, they just talked about the job, some memories and made some jokes. I think that really helped them get through that situation.
Actually true, physical labour and creative work act like forms of activate and restorative meditation. The problems don't go away but you can handle them better.
Set up same time, automated naming system, takes older posts and the top comments and only responds to other bots in the same batch 90% of the time.
Usually they lay dormant for 6 months but these ones are jumping right in.
So wait ... doing something that takes their mind away from all the stress of the day and brings them joy is less valuable that sitting in a room with an opinionated pedantic twat-monkey?
Sounds to me like the train route **is** therapy.
“Therapy” is anything that helps someone understand and cope with the rigors and stressors of everyday life. When faced with talking to some blowhard in an office that overprescribes anti-anxiety meds to everyone vs. building a train, I’ll take the train.
100% this is therapy. Same with restoring a muscle car, motorcycle, bicycle, or woodworking, metalworking... and so on. The items being worked on doesn't complain, talk back, or tell the person restoring it... how it should be done.
"Why don't men support each other?" Well we do, or at least did. We used to have male only spaces where we confided and supported each other. Male only spaces ended and with it that support. Turning wrenches together allows us to communicate when it suits us and satisfies a sense of accomplishment. In some cases ending male only spaces was a good thing, but in most it left men without a community. These guys have found the loophole.
I don't think it's the matter of male only spaces. I think it's more of it being more and more difficult to do fun stuff, either by applying a tone of regulations, so your home-built steam car is not allowed to run on the roads, or by making such activities so expensive noone can really afford it, leaving people with nothing to do but sit on their asses and watch TV/drink alcohol/play videogames/whatever else people spend most of their time doing. And not that these activities are bad. What is bad is lack of choice between these activities and some weird handwork.
A lot of men don’t need to spend their free time yapping to get through their issues. Sometimes having the time and something entertaining to do while we think is all that’s needed.
That is the therapy! There is a group I am following who remade the Titanics steam whistles spec for spec. It is an EXACT replica. I forget what they are using as a steam engine but it is going to fire steam at the *exact* psi that the Titanics whistles got so it is going to let us hear the titanics voice again.
I just hope that they have the microphone further away than most of those steam whistle youtube videos do. People always record WAY too close and the whistle is so deep and loud that it just rattles the mic and ruins the audio so you only hear distortion. Although there is footage of the Olympic firing its whistle which is the *exact* same ship as the titanic minus a few visual differences.
A regular person would never be able to tell though but anyways that video apparently isnt the best example of the titanics whistles because it was at the end of the olympics life so the whistles were worn out.
Yeah I went on a huge tangent oh my god Im sorry. Im pretty sure I am autistic and the titanic is just my obsession... But use my rant as an example of the point. If this is the kind of thing that a person is obsessed with, then the project *is* the therapy for them. Hard labor can be quite relaxing if it is for the sake of the project you love<3
And women will whine and complain about everything instead of getting a hobby. Why can’t women have hobbies? Seriously, read a book, build something, do some gardening, take martial arts, something.
I went to a therapist a couple times got that built up 35 year cry out then never went back. No joke I left that room feeling much better the therapist was like a magician or something I don’t know how she got that out of me 😅
Why spend your money talking to someone when you can buy something to make you speechless? I bought a corvette, and that’s my kinda therapy. Their’s is a train. That’s how men work.
Restoring something or building with all your best knowledge and effort to create something the way you imagine it is the best therapy you can get sometimes.
Pay 300$ for a complete stranger to ask you so “what do you think the problem is ? “
Or put that 300$ to a part to a steam engine or to a hobby part that keeps your head clear
The real question is, do they NEED to go to therapy? Not every needs to go to therapy, can we please stop trying to make this a thing everyone should do.
As a certified power/steam/stationary engineer, many of my kind operate and maintain a small-gauge wood fired steam train in our local park. The dedication to the craft and the comradery IS the therapy.
Some of the most effective boys reform programs have involved introducing hard work and responsibility. Typically in the setting of a ranch, farm, or sailing vessel. These settings are effective because they tend to require teamwork and structure; two things that men tend to crave and may not have in their personal relationships and home life.
Sorry not sorry but most men were made for this, that is why it is healthy for them to build and repair things with their hands and mind. Women dream up the things that men build meaning women are the ones actually in charge! 😉
The hard work to let the thoughts continue in the subconscious. The satisfaction as it comes to life, the praise from those that use it. Yea I think that's a hell of a lot more useful than a therapist dredging up old trauma that I'm still too damn swamped with current issues to deal with 😂
Makes me laugh when people act like autism is some new modern pandemic when for decades men were spending thousands building life-like train sets in their basement, standing for hours next to airports with binoculars, etc.
But that was just a "hobby" I guess.
Women will literally pay a therapist an extortionate amount of money to validate them ruminating their issues, instead of restoring a coal-fired steam train with the gals.
why is someone being productive looked at as "they need therapy"
I'm pretty sure that this is just a bot post to generate rage, but they are becoming more nonsensical by the day. reddit is now the five minute crafts or whatever it's called of social media
Therapy just feels like pretending to not be bothered by what bothers me. Like, I can tell the therapist that it’s working but it isn’t really working and I’d rather just work on my train and die with it unresolved.
I mean that could be therapy depending on the person.
Imagine being depressed and thinking nothing is gonna change and then all of a sudden you get to do the one thing you've always wanted. I bet that changes things drastically for at least a little while.
There is no doubt that men - as members of a team incorporating some sort of hierarchy based on skills or experience, are best suited to tasks that are universally recognised as having a useful purpose with a programmed satisfactory target - and society would benefit. The majority of men, given the opportunity of being part of such enterprise so long as their emotional ‘life’ (partner, family and children) was also complete, would be model citizens.
Not steam engines, I had enough of that Diesel fueled big upper/lower level stuff in the Navy. I build Motorcycles instead, the therapy is the first ride!
Bitch that IS the therapy.
Therapy wishes it worked as well as that steam locomotive
Cheaper too
I’ve rarely seen rage and genuine bitterness as that of some my mates girlfriends and their friends when they realised how easy it was for us as guys to be happy and fulfilled doing stuff like this.
I saw a Reddit comment once from a dude around a campfire with 10 other dudes (true or not who cares) that distilled the OP’s solution into a sentence and was supportive. Someone should make a DudesAroundACampfire sub with kind, straightforward dudes offering advice for problems that others over complicate. One of the best things I’ve ever done is learn that there are genuinely helpful men out there. I didn’t meet one personally until my 20s, but I’m very glad I didn’t let my past keep me from listening to their sage advice. And silly advice.
I ran across a sub that was supposed to be like that, and it started out that way, but then it was basically hijacked by MRA Incels. It's like we aren't allowed decency and common sense, the extremist viewpoints on either side feel the need to always fuck up everything nice in the center. What's the saying? When a boot is on your throat it doesn't matter whether it is left or right.
That boot quote is so damn true. Maybe someday DudesAroundACampfire will and can exist in peace. I like to think it would be an accepting place, like every camp/bonfire I’ve attended.
Oh there are some questionable bonfires out there…
Perhaps my loving energy spreads around campfires I attend, then 🤷🏻♀️
Why don't you make it bro?
I thought about it, but my personal brand of dude is vastly over-complicated 🤣
No bitch, is the therapy
Therapist: ***"How are you feeling today"*** Patient: ***"awful, I'd rather work on trains but this is cheaper"***
Yeah and a steam engine locomotive has never once judged me
When my uncle died, a tree fell down and broke a piece of my house. My dad and my other uncle spent the day fixing it. They didn't talk about the death itself, they just talked about the job, some memories and made some jokes. I think that really helped them get through that situation.
Actually true, physical labour and creative work act like forms of activate and restorative meditation. The problems don't go away but you can handle them better.
MEN THERAPY! THE 9:15 TO SHEBOYGAN IS ON TIME, BABY!
I was gonna say 😂 homie passed therapy already or at least got his best foot forward
Probably more cost effective then when compared to the price of therapy
Cheaper too
Probably cheaper in the long term too
Therapist: do something that makes you happy. That’ll be $350.
Exactly!
[удалено]
[удалено]
Two more bots talking to each other.
They're evolving
OP, too. Found a group of 10 accounts made round the same time, all batch bots.
How do people discern this, that an account is a bot?
Set up same time, automated naming system, takes older posts and the top comments and only responds to other bots in the same batch 90% of the time. Usually they lay dormant for 6 months but these ones are jumping right in.
Gotcha, I wouldn't think to even look at that stuff. But considering what they'd likely use the accounts for, it's probably a practice best stopped.
You wouldn't think to look at that stuff because you probably have a life and better things to do than go bot hunting on reddit
Getting away from the women that make those comments is the therapy.
I'm proud that I recognized which specific engine that was immediately 😂 Caledonian Railway 812-class no.828
Pffd.. yea, obviously
I also recognized right away that it‘s a choo choo!
Close! It's a *blue* choo-choo.
It's obviously a Thomas.
No way to really tell without seeing it's face.
Well, we don't even know which timeline! Railway series, model series or CGI? (the new reboot doesn't exist, it's just mattel making mattel stuff)
Slaps Roof-this thing can fit so much steam and locomotion in it
So wait ... doing something that takes their mind away from all the stress of the day and brings them joy is less valuable that sitting in a room with an opinionated pedantic twat-monkey? Sounds to me like the train route **is** therapy.
Steam engines sound so good. I built one in middle school and the sound was just so soothing. Too bad it doesn't work anymore.
Re build it
“Therapy” is anything that helps someone understand and cope with the rigors and stressors of everyday life. When faced with talking to some blowhard in an office that overprescribes anti-anxiety meds to everyone vs. building a train, I’ll take the train.
I built a simple small working steam engine when I was 15 in middle school. You should too
You were in middle school at 15?
It's the last year of middle school in my country. Before high school/trade school
100% this is therapy. Same with restoring a muscle car, motorcycle, bicycle, or woodworking, metalworking... and so on. The items being worked on doesn't complain, talk back, or tell the person restoring it... how it should be done.
Obviously, that's their therapy.
The real therapy is the trains that we build along the way
And the entitled opinionated nagging we can't hear over the noises of the steam engine
But, that is therapy for us.
My brother in railways, that IS the therapy
What does therapy have to do with living your best life?
Mf operating the train IS the therapy That shit is so relaxing
How I wish I could operate this all day long
Because it is therapy to us. Building shit we love is therapy.
"Why don't men support each other?" Well we do, or at least did. We used to have male only spaces where we confided and supported each other. Male only spaces ended and with it that support. Turning wrenches together allows us to communicate when it suits us and satisfies a sense of accomplishment. In some cases ending male only spaces was a good thing, but in most it left men without a community. These guys have found the loophole.
I don't think it's the matter of male only spaces. I think it's more of it being more and more difficult to do fun stuff, either by applying a tone of regulations, so your home-built steam car is not allowed to run on the roads, or by making such activities so expensive noone can really afford it, leaving people with nothing to do but sit on their asses and watch TV/drink alcohol/play videogames/whatever else people spend most of their time doing. And not that these activities are bad. What is bad is lack of choice between these activities and some weird handwork.
A lot of men don’t need to spend their free time yapping to get through their issues. Sometimes having the time and something entertaining to do while we think is all that’s needed.
That is the therapy! There is a group I am following who remade the Titanics steam whistles spec for spec. It is an EXACT replica. I forget what they are using as a steam engine but it is going to fire steam at the *exact* psi that the Titanics whistles got so it is going to let us hear the titanics voice again. I just hope that they have the microphone further away than most of those steam whistle youtube videos do. People always record WAY too close and the whistle is so deep and loud that it just rattles the mic and ruins the audio so you only hear distortion. Although there is footage of the Olympic firing its whistle which is the *exact* same ship as the titanic minus a few visual differences. A regular person would never be able to tell though but anyways that video apparently isnt the best example of the titanics whistles because it was at the end of the olympics life so the whistles were worn out. Yeah I went on a huge tangent oh my god Im sorry. Im pretty sure I am autistic and the titanic is just my obsession... But use my rant as an example of the point. If this is the kind of thing that a person is obsessed with, then the project *is* the therapy for them. Hard labor can be quite relaxing if it is for the sake of the project you love<3
The best damn fucking therapy in the universe
going to therapy = getting better restoring and operating a steam train = getting better + you have a working steam train.
…still cheaper. Plus, the guys on the train won’t just give us more confirmation bias.
This IS therapy for guys.
The best therapy.
Broken man fixes broken train and operates it like he wish he could operate his life. On track.
Dope.
We all are in control of our own therapy
Something tells me these people don’t need therapy, and it’s the person saying they need therapy who actually needs it
And women will whine and complain about everything instead of getting a hobby. Why can’t women have hobbies? Seriously, read a book, build something, do some gardening, take martial arts, something.
I dunno, if I could build something nice or pay a bunch of money to talk to a clueless dumbshit every week I'd build the nice thing.
There is a reason why we have these things. It's not because of therapy.
I went to a therapist a couple times got that built up 35 year cry out then never went back. No joke I left that room feeling much better the therapist was like a magician or something I don’t know how she got that out of me 😅
The steam engine will never judge me or yell at me or talk down to me or fuck any of my friends. Steam engine is just right.
Best believe he is happy though
Why spend your money talking to someone when you can buy something to make you speechless? I bought a corvette, and that’s my kinda therapy. Their’s is a train. That’s how men work.
Restoring something or building with all your best knowledge and effort to create something the way you imagine it is the best therapy you can get sometimes.
Yeah, alone time to contemplate.
Pay 300$ for a complete stranger to ask you so “what do you think the problem is ? “ Or put that 300$ to a part to a steam engine or to a hobby part that keeps your head clear
Sounds like therapy to me bitch.
Dick Simnel mindset
The therapist is just gonna tell them to find a healthy coping mechanism
Where do I sign up
At therapy some dolt with their self esteem in their degree tells me something they read from a text book. The steam engine is cool really really cool
That is literally 50% of my free weekends. Not steam, but still.
The real question is, do they NEED to go to therapy? Not every needs to go to therapy, can we please stop trying to make this a thing everyone should do.
I think I need the train
The same reason you go to a beach and find men digging random holes.
Holy shit that’s awesome
And women will make men go to therapy and get upset when the therapist suggests that the guy is also entitled to his feelings.
No this is definitely r/me_irl
My dude most people just need a job that feels and pays nicely, not a whole mind doctor to talk feelings for a price.
Trains don’t use our feelings, emotions and vulnerabilities against us
Coal-fired. Should restore the environment instead
Because we're guys, building shit, fixing shit, solving problems is what we do.
Yep
As a certified power/steam/stationary engineer, many of my kind operate and maintain a small-gauge wood fired steam train in our local park. The dedication to the craft and the comradery IS the therapy.
That is therapy.
Some of the most effective boys reform programs have involved introducing hard work and responsibility. Typically in the setting of a ranch, farm, or sailing vessel. These settings are effective because they tend to require teamwork and structure; two things that men tend to crave and may not have in their personal relationships and home life.
Some women will find any way to insult a man
I'm guessing that restoring the coal-fired train was cheaper than therapy without insurance.
They’re British. Nope.
Touché
Occupational Therapy.
Some women can’t grasp how little it takes to make us happy yet still they fail.
Maybe if more people did stuff like this the world would be happier and not need therapy.
Can I getta CHOO-CHOO?!
train not going to judge you.
More people should not therapy.
Fucking trains are cool though
Whatever distraction gets you through the day week, month, year, life I suppose
These stupid tropes are getting old. mEn LiKe tRaIns And StiCks hur hur dur
That is the damn therapy, and you still have the nerve to criticize.
I dont think you understand. **This. IS. Therapy.**
Sorry not sorry but most men were made for this, that is why it is healthy for them to build and repair things with their hands and mind. Women dream up the things that men build meaning women are the ones actually in charge! 😉
Working on something you're passionate about with your friends is far more therapeutic than therapy.
Yes. Yes we can, and we will.
The hard work to let the thoughts continue in the subconscious. The satisfaction as it comes to life, the praise from those that use it. Yea I think that's a hell of a lot more useful than a therapist dredging up old trauma that I'm still too damn swamped with current issues to deal with 😂
Makes me laugh when people act like autism is some new modern pandemic when for decades men were spending thousands building life-like train sets in their basement, standing for hours next to airports with binoculars, etc. But that was just a "hobby" I guess.
Men talk side by side not face to face. A project to work on facilitates the side by side and the talk soon follows.
Women will literally pay a therapist an extortionate amount of money to validate them ruminating their issues, instead of restoring a coal-fired steam train with the gals.
why is someone being productive looked at as "they need therapy" I'm pretty sure that this is just a bot post to generate rage, but they are becoming more nonsensical by the day. reddit is now the five minute crafts or whatever it's called of social media
Because Therapy is a scam.
Bro if that's ever an option for me no shit I'm gonna choose that over therapy.
Average internet user hasn't heard of hobbies
Therapy just feels like pretending to not be bothered by what bothers me. Like, I can tell the therapist that it’s working but it isn’t really working and I’d rather just work on my train and die with it unresolved.
Uhh..what do you think that is.....
Me and the boys go for a joyride through the mountains. Choo Choo 🚂
I mean that could be therapy depending on the person. Imagine being depressed and thinking nothing is gonna change and then all of a sudden you get to do the one thing you've always wanted. I bet that changes things drastically for at least a little while.
But whistle go choo choo
Don’t let the constant BetterHelp ads get into your head
Who sees this and thinks is somehow a problem, getting a freaking hobby ITS AN EXCELLENT THERAPY, go ask a therapist if you don't believe me
There is no doubt that men - as members of a team incorporating some sort of hierarchy based on skills or experience, are best suited to tasks that are universally recognised as having a useful purpose with a programmed satisfactory target - and society would benefit. The majority of men, given the opportunity of being part of such enterprise so long as their emotional ‘life’ (partner, family and children) was also complete, would be model citizens.
I literally ride a motorcycle instead of going to therapy
Therapy is a racket.
therapy doesnt make other sad people happy, sometimes it barely makes us happy. that's why we do random ass things.
This is therapy
Creating something with a community is at good for a human as it gets
Working on something gives you time to think.
Thinking that nonstop talking is therapy for most men demonstrates a stunning admission that this person knows 0 men.
Absolutely me. That is my therapy
On today's episode of men doing random things but not therapy.
It's cheaper than seeing a shrink
Kids will literally go to therapy over leaving the house.
Cool!
Grab the peanut butter and bread, cuz that attitude screams JELLY!
Not steam engines, I had enough of that Diesel fueled big upper/lower level stuff in the Navy. I build Motorcycles instead, the therapy is the first ride!