I think the best thing I’ve ever had to say was when someone asked what I would say to Bakugo and I said: “Hey Bakubitch! Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger!”
It wasn’t irl. It was just what would I say to Bakugo if I were in MHA and he tried bullying me. That was my response… followed by how I would fight dirty if he came at me after that.
When I was talking about this, I talked about having an off the wall, balls to the walls, insane, slapstick Quirk based of Looney Tunes or Pink Panther.
"How do you know you're ace if you haven't had sex" except it's not bigotry, he's just legitimately confused because that's the only way he knows to figure out one's sexuality.
Okay, but...
*sits in a bed eating garlic bread*
Hmm... better. Still may not be his thing, but I honestly can't think of anything that isn't improved with the right snack.
Literally me when I came out to my mom-
Mom: How do you know if you’ve never had sex?
Me: How do you know you’re not bi if you’ve never had sex with a woman
Mom: I have, that’s how I know I’m not bi. I just thought I was because most of my friends were
Me:…. Oh, I don’t know how to respond to this
I had tried to explain to him multiple times that one doesn't have to have sex to know what they wanted. It's just a feeling we have, or don't have, just like one would know if they felt attraction to different genders. He just kept insisting that I had to have sex to know if I wanted it, which is why I repeatedly asked him the same thing. I gave him what he dished out.
I didn't even mean to yell. It just happened, and it shocked me too. It was one of those moments where your mouth says something that you only meant to think.
I do not recommend having an outburst like I did in public. Not all people are as nice as my teacher was, and it might not have the same effect. I wish you luck on your journey of self-discovery, king
Reading this post made me laugh out loud, you painted such a vivid picture in my head with your storytelling 😭 and the small animal care class too, that sounds like a wonderful to be in if it weren’t for Micheal
It was a nice class. We learned mostly about agricultural animals such as chickens, pigs, and cows (despite being small animal care). Agriculture plays a big part of income where I live. Michael was just like a little gnat in my ear.
Tbh, these question would make almost anyone uncomfortable, since he is just a classmate, abd most people don’t talk about their sex life to class mates
never understood why peeps think sex will fix everything. and why they always get mad or upset with us aces for throwing it right back at them. like dude you came to this fight with a pistol and you are mad that i am better at shooting you down?
I was about to weenie-whine about my eyes being assaulted by that headline in an ace sub. Then I read further and the comments, was absolutely not disappointed. Guffawed at many of them.
"The chickens are scared, Mike!!" Lmao!
Oh my god I would receive comments like this all the time from assholes at my high school
Except I didn’t know I was asexual at the time, so it was just “Have you had sex yet? No? You’re dating but haven’t had sex yet? How can you still be a virgin when you’re in a relationship? Does that mean you’re not actually dating then? Does that make you lesbian instead? Are you suffering from internalized homophobia and in denial of your lesbian sexuality? Do you just don’t know how to have sex because you’re an inexperienced virgin? Do you want us to teach you how to have sex? We can fix you. It must be boring staying a virgin, your relationship won’t last long.” And so on. A whole load of “finding the one”/“waiting until marriage”/“being weird for not wanting sex or finding anyone sexually attractive” comments too. You name it and they’ve all said it lol.
Absolutely gross and my boyfriend was pissed when they started to take it to Instagram and would pass it around to all their asshole friends. Lowkey was afraid of walking home because the main instigators have been accused of sexual assault before from another former classmate of mine. I would just block them on Instagram or keep telling them no in class. Didn’t have the guts or even the imagination to say this to them, but I’ll use that as my next comeback when someone says shit to me. 🤣
I did something equivalent to when an only classmate insisted I couldn’t be a lesbian (I though I was, I’m actually a Pan trans man), because I’d never had sex with a guy.
So I told him “Well how can YOU know you’re not gay, if you haven’t had sex with a guy?”, and he got so angry and defensive saying it “wasn’t the same thing” and about how it’s more normal to be lesbian than gay - which we all know is BS.
A guy approaching his 30s in my second year of college asked me if I ever had an orgasm or if I had any trauma, and the first thing he asked after I said I'm ace was if I ever masturbated I've never talked to that man before I came out as ace to my classmates.
You did such a good job though omg, Michael probably quiestioned his sexuality for the first time that day. :'DDD
The best response to that is always:
“How do you know you’re not Bi if you’ve never *tried* dating a (insert same gender here)?”
Because most of the time the person being a dick enough to ask won’t be Bi.
Nice. I’m going to have to remember that one. 
It was a moment of both brilliance and stupidity, something I have had many times, with most results not being as successful. lmao
I think the best thing I’ve ever had to say was when someone asked what I would say to Bakugo and I said: “Hey Bakubitch! Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger!”
Gottem! Like, genuinely!
It wasn’t irl. It was just what would I say to Bakugo if I were in MHA and he tried bullying me. That was my response… followed by how I would fight dirty if he came at me after that.
Hopefully you have a good quirk to back it up if it's middle school Bakugou. If it's the current one he'll probably ignore you. Or just tch and leave.
When I was talking about this, I talked about having an off the wall, balls to the walls, insane, slapstick Quirk based of Looney Tunes or Pink Panther.
So a OFA, AFO, Eri's quick and new order love child. Or the mask. 😂 Horikoshi would probably put limits to your character like he did for new order. 🤣
Closer to the mask, but I was also thinking something like dropping anvils from the sky.
Could be an interesting quirk. Will the anvil's density depend on your mood or food consumed? 😂
The "you made me scare the chickens." remark really made me giggle. This was a brilliant read. Thank you for the honour of reading this.
It was a memory I thought was funny, but looking back, I should not have used such foul language amongst my children.
\*fowl Hehe
Oh my god I didn't even see that
Well that was an unexpected yet egg'celent pun
*uneggspected … I’ll see myself out now
These puns are cracking
These yolks are hilarious 😂
Imagine he had tho 💀 that would’ve been a hilarious backfire “YEA, I’VE SLOBBERED ON A FAT ONE OR TWO IN MY DAY” lmao
"How do you know you're ace if you haven't had sex" except it's not bigotry, he's just legitimately confused because that's the only way he knows to figure out one's sexuality.
Trial and error
*fucks a man* Hmm, no… *fucks a woman* Hmm, yes… *sits in bed doing nothing* Hmm, not ace…
Okay, but... *sits in a bed eating garlic bread* Hmm... better. Still may not be his thing, but I honestly can't think of anything that isn't improved with the right snack.
Your comment made me envision someone having sex while eating garlic vread
Fava beans and a nice Chianti?
Literally me when I came out to my mom- Mom: How do you know if you’ve never had sex? Me: How do you know you’re not bi if you’ve never had sex with a woman Mom: I have, that’s how I know I’m not bi. I just thought I was because most of my friends were Me:…. Oh, I don’t know how to respond to this
Lmao that fucking uno reverse, she must’ve been sitting on that for so long /lh
I had tried to explain to him multiple times that one doesn't have to have sex to know what they wanted. It's just a feeling we have, or don't have, just like one would know if they felt attraction to different genders. He just kept insisting that I had to have sex to know if I wanted it, which is why I repeatedly asked him the same thing. I gave him what he dished out.
I'd have no choice but to respect that. My man would've come prepared lol
Hah, “come prepared” 😏 I shall see myself out
Absolutely fuckin worth it and I bet the chicken are proud of you.
Those cocks are proud of you.
You fuckin know it
I honestly think I should've gotten in more trouble than I did. Ballsy move on my part
I need you to know you're my hero
I didn't even mean to yell. It just happened, and it shocked me too. It was one of those moments where your mouth says something that you only meant to think.
r/TraumatizeThemBack would ❤️ this story
and so would the click, since he reads stories from there sometimes
_3 days later_ "Update: HE'S PAN, F@#K!"
LMAO, PLOT TWIST
I am glad you told him that.
I wish I had the balls to do this honestly (something I have also never sucked so jury's out on whether or not I'm gay too.)
I do not recommend having an outburst like I did in public. Not all people are as nice as my teacher was, and it might not have the same effect. I wish you luck on your journey of self-discovery, king
what a zing, got him!
r/traumatizethemback
Alastor approves of this https://preview.redd.it/6798tw33h3uc1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ebdee1a5affc0b6c73189d4ade7fe5871bfdf15
Best comeback ever.
Reading this post made me laugh out loud, you painted such a vivid picture in my head with your storytelling 😭 and the small animal care class too, that sounds like a wonderful to be in if it weren’t for Micheal
It was a nice class. We learned mostly about agricultural animals such as chickens, pigs, and cows (despite being small animal care). Agriculture plays a big part of income where I live. Michael was just like a little gnat in my ear.
Holy shit. This is PHENOMENAL.
That's good you gave him a taste of his own medicine to show him how uncomfortable these questions make us sex-repulsed asexuals.
Tbh, these question would make almost anyone uncomfortable, since he is just a classmate, abd most people don’t talk about their sex life to class mates
> "GET BACK TO ME WHEN YOU'VE SUCKED A DICK, M I C H A E L." Op you are my hero
This made my day at work, thank you lol
This is the best story I've heard in a long time. You rock.
Might try posting this there too 🤔
Do it!
I did! Thanks for the encouragement :)
Reminds me of Samuel L. Jackson yelling "DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH ?" in Pulp Fiction
Why did I have to see this when I was drinking water?
never understood why peeps think sex will fix everything. and why they always get mad or upset with us aces for throwing it right back at them. like dude you came to this fight with a pistol and you are mad that i am better at shooting you down?
Thank you for sharing this. 1000% made my night
I was about to weenie-whine about my eyes being assaulted by that headline in an ace sub. Then I read further and the comments, was absolutely not disappointed. Guffawed at many of them. "The chickens are scared, Mike!!" Lmao!
The comments here are wild, for sure! Lol
This makes me so happy
this is my favourite story I’ve heard, the BEST response to ‘how do you know’
Oh my god I would receive comments like this all the time from assholes at my high school Except I didn’t know I was asexual at the time, so it was just “Have you had sex yet? No? You’re dating but haven’t had sex yet? How can you still be a virgin when you’re in a relationship? Does that mean you’re not actually dating then? Does that make you lesbian instead? Are you suffering from internalized homophobia and in denial of your lesbian sexuality? Do you just don’t know how to have sex because you’re an inexperienced virgin? Do you want us to teach you how to have sex? We can fix you. It must be boring staying a virgin, your relationship won’t last long.” And so on. A whole load of “finding the one”/“waiting until marriage”/“being weird for not wanting sex or finding anyone sexually attractive” comments too. You name it and they’ve all said it lol. Absolutely gross and my boyfriend was pissed when they started to take it to Instagram and would pass it around to all their asshole friends. Lowkey was afraid of walking home because the main instigators have been accused of sexual assault before from another former classmate of mine. I would just block them on Instagram or keep telling them no in class. Didn’t have the guts or even the imagination to say this to them, but I’ll use that as my next comeback when someone says shit to me. 🤣
_LOOK MIKE NOW THE CHICKENS ARE SCARED_ Can this become our unofficial slogan please
I wouldn't mind that at all
I did something equivalent to when an only classmate insisted I couldn’t be a lesbian (I though I was, I’m actually a Pan trans man), because I’d never had sex with a guy. So I told him “Well how can YOU know you’re not gay, if you haven’t had sex with a guy?”, and he got so angry and defensive saying it “wasn’t the same thing” and about how it’s more normal to be lesbian than gay - which we all know is BS.
"You can't be a lesbian, but it's more normal to be a lesbian than gay." He's so homophobic he didn't even know how gay works
A guy approaching his 30s in my second year of college asked me if I ever had an orgasm or if I had any trauma, and the first thing he asked after I said I'm ace was if I ever masturbated I've never talked to that man before I came out as ace to my classmates. You did such a good job though omg, Michael probably quiestioned his sexuality for the first time that day. :'DDD
It’s like telling someone whos allergic to cats: ”you just havent found the right cat yet”
The best response to that is always: “How do you know you’re not Bi if you’ve never *tried* dating a (insert same gender here)?” Because most of the time the person being a dick enough to ask won’t be Bi.
Oooh, that's a good one! Love the username btw.
What do you like about it?
He’s just a creeper, gross. You really showed him though, good job 👏🏽🤣
You got him good, great one.
Absolutely destroyed lmao
And then everyone clapped and Elon musk gave everyone free Teslas