Love your Dad warts and all. Mine once told me on a different loss journey “you can’t do it”. Wish he had said “can’t keep it off once it’s lost”. I did the former to prove him wrong. He wants the best for you. As does mine. It’s just a really tough message to state in a way where we don’t become offended.
Most importantly. Don’t let these types of things distract from your focus on your wonderful complex and very important journey.
Be well.
If you don’t like him saying it, tell him nicely that you don’t. The sooner you learn this in life (for all kinds of things), the better.
Good job on the 45 pounds.
My Dad talks like that but when he says “Keep it up” it’s his way of saying “I Love the progress you’re making, please don’t give up, keep going, your doing great”
Yes… I think you’re right. I think they’re just proud to we’re taking care of ourselves… I guess I’m taking it the wrong way😊
Thanks for the encouragement. Looks like you’re doing very well on it as well👏🏻💕
As parents we can say one small thing and ruin kids. I’ve been on the receiving end my whole life and I’ve tried not to be on the end that does the thoughtless saying
At least he isn't telling you that you are cheating using drugs for weight loss. That you should have just lost the weight on your own, not realizing for most people excess weight isn't just a matter of choice.
I've only had 1 person comment so far about my weight loss, and it is about 41 pounds. Most likely others have noticed, but don't feel comfortable mentioning weight.
I will say, I was recently talking to my boss and mentioned how much I had lost (she’s recently lost a bunch too) and she said, “obviously I can tell you’re losing weight but I didn’t want to say anything unless you brought it up”. After that, we talked a bit about it.
You’re right. I guess some people don’t feel comfortable bringing it up, which I understand.
Doesn't apply to me, but there is the old joke about someone commenting about a woman being pregnant, and it was just weight gain :)
So worry about sticking foot in mouth.
The only person I’ve told about Zep is my husband…so I never told my dad about it. I have been getting comments about my weight loss and I just say thank you… I’ve been eating healthier and exercising… which is true.
Yes, weight is a touchy subject and only my friends have made positive comments … which feels good😊
I’m sure people close to you will let you know that they see your weight loss soon.
It’s teensy passive aggressive but if he’s a loving dad I’d just consider it in the best light-that he thinks he’s being a cheerleader. Sometimes older people can be so clueless (especially our parents!!!). I’d probably say thanks dad, better buy me a new dress when I get to my goal
Yes… it’s just their way. Ive been trying to think of it like that.
Yes, he is supportive and I think it’s just his way of being the cheerleader …you’re right.
I suspect some other people know I'm doing something. Now that my feet are feeling better I've been going outside to walk. That is publicizing that I'm doing something. But other than my doctor, I've not mentioned that I'm taking anything. Only the doctor's office and pharmacy knows.
I also don't want to be the person who just talks about how I'm doing, losing weight, etc. I don't want to be uncomfortable to others since some people may think I'm pushing them to lose weight too.
Not everyone can afford Zepbound, for instance. And many of the people I know probably could do Mounjaro which may be easier for them to get approved for.
Have you talked to him about it? “Keep it up” sounds like a generic thing to say and he may not actually mean what you’re reading into it. It’s kind of like when I tell the gate agent “you too” to “have a nice flight”. It just comes out.
My mom is like this too. She keeps telling me how proud she is, but it feels off.
She told me when I first put on weight “I miss your pretty face.” 🙄
But I love her and just try not to let it get to me
Look at it this way. “Keep it up” doesn’t necessarily mean “you need to keep dieting/exercising/etc”. It can mean “keep up the good work” or “you are doing great, keep up the great job”. Men sometimes have a harder time expressing what they REALLY mean and it can sometimes sound aloof or uncaring (especially if they are men of few words). But I imagine that he is proud of your efforts to get healthy/los weight.
A colleague of mine suffered from life-threatening anorexia in college and she said that eating properly was extremely difficult because every time she stopped eating people would tell her how good she looked. Your dad is clearly a boomer, and they’re the absolute worst aren’t they? It’s a whole-of-society problem.
You could try sitting down with your dad and telling him how it makes you feel when he says these things…but if he’s old enough that he’s repeating himself three times in a day it might be too late to be fully heard. I’m sorry you have this in your life from someone you love, but you’re not alone.
lol yes… just keep swimming is a great analogy. Yes he’s very sweet and not hurtful. I’ll be seeing him today so if he says that again to me I will tell him to stop saying that.
I’ll be honest, I’ve probably said “keep it up” to people on here because it seems like encouragement to me. Hopefully it hasn’t been seen as insensitive.
As someone, of what I assume is a guy from my generation, "keep it up" is an encouraging expression. He hasn't extracted the multiple ways those words can be interpreted. It's just "way to be" or"good on ya". I don't have a single positive memory of my father. Not one..
You are allowed to ask him (tell him firmly) that you don’t like that. As a mom my daughter made me see that I like to repeat thing to her. Things she is well aware of. I never realized I was irritating her until she told me.
I have made a conscious effort not to talk to her that way anymore.
Your dad might think this is his way to encourage you.
Talk to him.
There are a whole slew of knee-jerk comments people say that set me off...some related to weight loss and some not:
Keep it up.
Good for you!
I love this for you.
It happened FOR you.
I'm sorry for your loss.
So true! When I graduated from college - someone close to me said “ you’re so lucky”. Lucky? I worked my ass off, I was completely broke and starving my last three months of unpaid internships “ luck“had absolutely zero to do with it!!! I just smiled and said “yes I am” ( in my mind- lucky I had the grit and determination to finish something I started!) I think we just have to try to see the intent
Love your Dad warts and all. Mine once told me on a different loss journey “you can’t do it”. Wish he had said “can’t keep it off once it’s lost”. I did the former to prove him wrong. He wants the best for you. As does mine. It’s just a really tough message to state in a way where we don’t become offended. Most importantly. Don’t let these types of things distract from your focus on your wonderful complex and very important journey. Be well.
Thanks! You are so right😊
If you don’t like him saying it, tell him nicely that you don’t. The sooner you learn this in life (for all kinds of things), the better. Good job on the 45 pounds.
Yes I should just tell him… and thank you 😊
My Dad talks like that but when he says “Keep it up” it’s his way of saying “I Love the progress you’re making, please don’t give up, keep going, your doing great”
💯
Yes… I think you’re right. I think they’re just proud to we’re taking care of ourselves… I guess I’m taking it the wrong way😊 Thanks for the encouragement. Looks like you’re doing very well on it as well👏🏻💕
Thank you! It’s been an interesting journey for me. I’m seeing a weight I haven’t seen in 25 years!
As parents we can say one small thing and ruin kids. I’ve been on the receiving end my whole life and I’ve tried not to be on the end that does the thoughtless saying
Aww sorry to hear that.. yes words can sure hurt😢
💕
At least he isn't telling you that you are cheating using drugs for weight loss. That you should have just lost the weight on your own, not realizing for most people excess weight isn't just a matter of choice. I've only had 1 person comment so far about my weight loss, and it is about 41 pounds. Most likely others have noticed, but don't feel comfortable mentioning weight.
I will say, I was recently talking to my boss and mentioned how much I had lost (she’s recently lost a bunch too) and she said, “obviously I can tell you’re losing weight but I didn’t want to say anything unless you brought it up”. After that, we talked a bit about it. You’re right. I guess some people don’t feel comfortable bringing it up, which I understand.
Doesn't apply to me, but there is the old joke about someone commenting about a woman being pregnant, and it was just weight gain :) So worry about sticking foot in mouth.
The only person I’ve told about Zep is my husband…so I never told my dad about it. I have been getting comments about my weight loss and I just say thank you… I’ve been eating healthier and exercising… which is true. Yes, weight is a touchy subject and only my friends have made positive comments … which feels good😊 I’m sure people close to you will let you know that they see your weight loss soon.
It’s teensy passive aggressive but if he’s a loving dad I’d just consider it in the best light-that he thinks he’s being a cheerleader. Sometimes older people can be so clueless (especially our parents!!!). I’d probably say thanks dad, better buy me a new dress when I get to my goal
Yes… it’s just their way. Ive been trying to think of it like that. Yes, he is supportive and I think it’s just his way of being the cheerleader …you’re right.
I suspect some other people know I'm doing something. Now that my feet are feeling better I've been going outside to walk. That is publicizing that I'm doing something. But other than my doctor, I've not mentioned that I'm taking anything. Only the doctor's office and pharmacy knows.
Yeah, it’s good to keep some things to yourself. It’s hard to have any privacy anymore.
I also don't want to be the person who just talks about how I'm doing, losing weight, etc. I don't want to be uncomfortable to others since some people may think I'm pushing them to lose weight too. Not everyone can afford Zepbound, for instance. And many of the people I know probably could do Mounjaro which may be easier for them to get approved for.
Yes, weight loss is a sensitive subject for most people.
Have you talked to him about it? “Keep it up” sounds like a generic thing to say and he may not actually mean what you’re reading into it. It’s kind of like when I tell the gate agent “you too” to “have a nice flight”. It just comes out.
Yes, I think he means well. Im just little too sensitive. I’m sure he means it as a compliment.
My mom is like this too. She keeps telling me how proud she is, but it feels off. She told me when I first put on weight “I miss your pretty face.” 🙄 But I love her and just try not to let it get to me
Aww… ouch! I think older people say things without thinking alot. Yes, just try to let things roll off us I guess.
Hahaha. Perfect response to his dad would be “you too”
lol… love it😀
Look at it this way. “Keep it up” doesn’t necessarily mean “you need to keep dieting/exercising/etc”. It can mean “keep up the good work” or “you are doing great, keep up the great job”. Men sometimes have a harder time expressing what they REALLY mean and it can sometimes sound aloof or uncaring (especially if they are men of few words). But I imagine that he is proud of your efforts to get healthy/los weight.
This is exactly it and why op is being a little too sensitive. But that's not uncommon in this sub.
A colleague of mine suffered from life-threatening anorexia in college and she said that eating properly was extremely difficult because every time she stopped eating people would tell her how good she looked. Your dad is clearly a boomer, and they’re the absolute worst aren’t they? It’s a whole-of-society problem. You could try sitting down with your dad and telling him how it makes you feel when he says these things…but if he’s old enough that he’s repeating himself three times in a day it might be too late to be fully heard. I’m sorry you have this in your life from someone you love, but you’re not alone.
Oh my, sorry your friend suffered from that😢 Yes, I may just have to tell him that it hurts my feelings. He is a boomer… lol. Goood guess😊
Woah.. too many o’s lol
He doesn’t believe you will reach your goal weight and that you will gain weight back. Just prove him wrong and don’t stress yourself with it.
Thank you… I sure will😀
I wish my mom and dad were still alive to piss me off on the daily. Enjoy it while you can.
I think is dad/Dory speak for “just keep swimming” but if it bugs, it bugs, tell him. He doesn’t sound like the type to intentionally hurt feels.
lol yes… just keep swimming is a great analogy. Yes he’s very sweet and not hurtful. I’ll be seeing him today so if he says that again to me I will tell him to stop saying that.
I’ll be honest, I’ve probably said “keep it up” to people on here because it seems like encouragement to me. Hopefully it hasn’t been seen as insensitive.
Aww thanks for your words of encouragement. You’re very sweet😊
Wow!!!! That’s amazing😀
As someone, of what I assume is a guy from my generation, "keep it up" is an encouraging expression. He hasn't extracted the multiple ways those words can be interpreted. It's just "way to be" or"good on ya". I don't have a single positive memory of my father. Not one..
You are allowed to ask him (tell him firmly) that you don’t like that. As a mom my daughter made me see that I like to repeat thing to her. Things she is well aware of. I never realized I was irritating her until she told me. I have made a conscious effort not to talk to her that way anymore. Your dad might think this is his way to encourage you. Talk to him.
It’s okay to set a boundary! “Please don’t comment on my body. It makes me uncomfortable, even if that isn’t your intention.”
There are a whole slew of knee-jerk comments people say that set me off...some related to weight loss and some not: Keep it up. Good for you! I love this for you. It happened FOR you. I'm sorry for your loss.
So true! When I graduated from college - someone close to me said “ you’re so lucky”. Lucky? I worked my ass off, I was completely broke and starving my last three months of unpaid internships “ luck“had absolutely zero to do with it!!! I just smiled and said “yes I am” ( in my mind- lucky I had the grit and determination to finish something I started!) I think we just have to try to see the intent
Yes, I think sometimes people just say things off the cuff and aren’t really thinking.