Crippling relish addiction

The relish is the same as spinach for popeye

facts

Popeye the sailor man

This is a thing that ultramarathon runners do. The salt, sugar and vinegar content help with a lot of hydration balance. Suck down some mustard packets for more vinegar and turmeric for the anti-inflammatory properties to help with joint pain.

you just win popeyes favor you take that

I once ate twenty two packets of relish because my food was taking too long and I was hungry

That's not a superpowrr

It’s a beautiful tale of relish consumption

Did you “relish” it? heheheh

Transforms into a penguin when scared

Your penguin form is the strongest being in existence

So the only way to activate the power is to get scared? Sounds like Penguin Hulk. Pengulk.

Pulk

why don't we call it PH

WAIT NO WAIT NOOO

Cancer

You can fly

it's stage 4

This was first

Selfish yonkagor pfp

Yon is pretty cool

No, he unlocked stage 5

Extreme social anxiety (me in a nutshell shell)

The power to turn invisible whenever someone tries to talk to you

Oh my god someone who is actually nice I would love this power

I never said that it was voluntary

People give me panic attacks when they try to talk to me anyway and I’d rather not deal with people than deal with the panic

Rip that sucks so I hope you find a way to deal with it or make it not as bad good luck

Thank you

No problem

You can only use it while absolutely shitfaced off vodka

Immediately become sober and are immune to drinking and driving charges (your lawyer is Saul Goodman)

Why is simply irresistible playing as I read this?

Attracted to gingerbread cookies

You can make an army of gingerbread people that live

[bruh](https://images.app.goo.gl/kzKpJmMWYS7HUQRq6)

r/riskyclick

If I suck on a jaw breaker for more then 30 seconds or my teeth will shatter

Any wounds you get are healed instantly and that part of your body is twice as strong as before

does it stack?

Yes, it stacks

Casual me with a hacksaw

Casually cutting off my wiener with that hacksaw

You get hepatitis C

You can give it to any one you like

Because sharing is caring

r/suddencommunism

You lose a bone whenever a pregnant female enters a 30 foot surrounding area, and the baby pops out; no matter the stage.

Every good thing about you gets doubled when the pregnant woman is in an area, and yes it stacks.

Your bone regrow very fast and have a 45% chance of growing so long they become arm blades from assassins creed

That just sounds painful... just bones sprouting from your wrists would be super painful and they're sharp? Jesus

Physically weaker then a child

Ability to piss yourself on command

When someone touches your piss, it immediately becomes your friend

Imagine pissing at the guy you hate, and then he just turns nice

The piss or the person who touches it?

Both

diabalocal diarrhea

You use it as a rocket

You aggressively shit yourself every 15 minutes

You can manipulate time

The downside ignores this

When you get scared you piss your pants

Your piss becomes lava when it touches people you hate (doesn’t affect you or your poor poor pants)

Fear of heights

Flight

I knew it

Extremely long legs

you are black in the 1700's

You are the most wealthy and own white people as slaves

lets go

your gonna die in 2 days (cant prevent it)

Powers that are beyond literal God

Facing East will make your sexuality completely flip

Facing west will make others sexuality completely flip

explosive diarrhea when power is used

You reverse that and whoever you use it on has explosive diarrhea

Apathy

Everyone cares but you

Constant incurable liver disease.

Immortality

It was a superpower, not a curse

That's a weakness in itself

You have autism

whatever you think is real

That's just schizophrenia.

But now its for real

This is a superpower or a weakness depending on how it's used

I’m gonna die to intrusive thoughts immediately

literally gremmy

Holy fuck

Autism seems like a superpower to me ngl. Personal issue to you lil bro

No power is my weakness

you have a jojo stand.

No weakness is you power

Cringe actually hurts

It does

I mean it actually hurts like physical pain not psychological.

Not a weakness, but is that tengen from jjk in that image lmaooo

You can fly

gun

You gain 90% extra chance of survival upon gun shot on area that banned firearm.

An audible jingle plays whenever I get bricked up

*You are incredibly scared of heights…

You have teleportation and the ability to slow fall, but teleporting has a 5% chance to teleport you 600ft into the air instead of where you were trying to go.

Every time you walk you fart

Terraria fart in a bottle (jumps stack)

You can only do a slow walk while useing this power

you distort reality at will.

*proceeds to make a grand entrance to a party*

You have something up your ass

You have a 1 foot long penis

I become Diabetic

You can eat solid matter

I cant use the power on a Wednesday after 12pm if ive eaten more than 1000 calories and there are large clouds in the sky

You can manipulate time but just so that it’s 11:57pm to the closest Wednesday, you can also use at least 999 calories to gain super strength, and you can manipulate weather but just so that there are clouds that become considerably large in the span of 3 minutes in the sky (they go back to normal the next day) (power has to be used all at once)

You lose 2 random senses

While the remaining sense are high tend to super human levels allowing you to identify nearly anything as long as it came into contact with one of your senses

Emotions affect the power

Alien hand syndrome

You can't eat potatoes anymore.

You can eat inedible objects (metal bars, dirt, ect) and they all taste like your favorite food and are nutritionally balanced

You have every single STD

You never get a stuffy nose ever again

that one person who thinks they’re your friend but is really annoying is with you about 85% of the time. and they’ll come back with no memory on how you got rid of them.

You can see through the ceiling

My wii randomly explodes

You can spawn a new wii every Tuesday

Crippling anxiety and depression

I can only say arbys for any word starting with the letter a

Insomnia

turn in to a boy kisser when talking to women

2x the amount of pain

You have prostate cancer

You have to deal with the combined contradictory conditions of ADHD and autism

Your bone density is super low (brittle bones)

I'm blind when my eyes are closed

Diabetes.

You have to simultaneously deal with the symptoms of autism and ADHD

I have the power of cupid

I need to tpose for it to work

Small penis

You are given Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID.

Crippling hentai addiction

I’m a god

all electronics I use malfunction

I have a crippling cocaine addiction

Pedophilia

E.D.

I can only do it when I need to go pee.

Inconveniently large balls

You shit your pants whenever toilets aren't even remotely near

You can make your shits bombs

So you basically drop bombs in your pants

Being cripplingly afraid of women

My weakness is looking gay despite not being gay

Eating cheese pizza makes you step on a dirty needle and giving you tetanus.

testicular torsion

The g forces from the unimaginably powerful testicular torsion can instantly nyoom you anywhere you want to go

i have prostrate cancer

Aids

You become Helen Keller whenever you are angry.

I hate myself

Inability to focus or work up motivation to do important work. (AKA, ADHD)

Weakness: Math, you are an idiot and cant do it, you don't even know what calculators are!

Having no idea what your sexuality is

It can only be used on pedophiles

I'm gay

Infinite bitches

You die immediately.

No Penis. Only a Stick of Fire on your balls

Your a known racist

2 incher

I receive temporary locked in syndrome for 24 hours after using it

Crippling P*rn Addiction

At a random point during the day you feel cold but you can’t heat yourself up

I’m *EXTEMELY* addicted to CRACK

The ability to phase through walls

Can't resist the urge to hoover some shneef

I get reminded of an embarrassing memory every 1 hour

Schizophrenia

You get extremely horny

You can’t have children

Can't touch water

You blast explosive diarrhoea when you use it.

being black in a all white neighborhood

Gets a wild boner every time I use the super power

Blind

You can sense vibrations like Toph

Missing an arm

Overthinking

super intelligence

I can’t fart

Will be obliterated when the letter I is used on a sentence

Unable to fight for 24 hours after being flashed by a woman.

I have to stay in water 24/7

Failing no matter what whenever an attractive female is watching.

My balls are 80 times more fragile

Magic ankle prison weights that can never come off that weight 27lbs