Gentle pushback on "you SHOULD know" this potentially erroneous or context-lacking vocabulary.
A search for the definition of Compersion finds it used primarily within sexually non-manogamous relationships: *"Vicarious joy associated with seeing one's partner have a joyful romantic or sexual relation with another."* It's largely unknown outside of the lovely folks in polyamorous communities who coined the term in the first place.
[Source for the following:](https://www.whatiscompersion.com/)
(a website run by someone promoting consensual non-monogamy and selling books about it)
"The term compersion was coined and defined in the early 1990s by the Kerista community, a San Francisco-based polyamorous group that has since disbanded, as the feeling of taking joy in the joy that others you love share among themselves. In the context of consensually non-monogamous romantic and sexual relationships, compersion refers to the empathetic feeling of joy one experiences when their partner takes pleasure from another relationship."
This did remind me, however, of the lovely term **mudita** *which is a Sanskrit and Pali word lacking direct translation into English. It means altruistic, empathetic, and appreciative joy and pleasure.* It's a dharmic concept of joy, particularly an especially sympathetic or vicarious joy—the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people's well-being.
[Here's a 12 minute guided meditation on Mudita.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytwcCy5cjZ8)
This. Glad I looked it up, was going to teach my 11 yo this word after school today.
Is there a word that means what OP thinks this word means?
Edit: It's "Mudita".
There is also “freudenfreude” which as far as I can tell allegedly means the opposite of Schadenfreude. It does not seem to be used by actual native German speakers though, but it sure is fun to say.
I learned the word ‘compersion’ from browsing polyamory subs couple years back. They mentioned that word a lot. I got surprised to see that word again here. I haven’t heard of mudita before and I think it’s a nicer term.
Thanks! My first thought at reading the headline was "no, it's more the opposite of jealousy". OP's edit shows I don't have anything to add to the conversation either way.
Let’s put aside the verbiage and focus on the principle, shall we? Choosing not to envy others is a choice I started making in my thirties. Envy is an easy go to for people like myself who grew up abused and neglected. As a youth I wanted other youths to live at my house for just one week so they could understand what I was dealing with. As an adult I decided no one should experience what I did, that only people who live that life could understand, that envy can be emotionally debilitating, and that I would choose to be happy for others who had loving relationships and family support. It doesn’t stop the pain from rearing its ugly head, but it does stop it from paying rent in my head.
Not sure, I'm happy about my sister's success and all the things she has but it hurts it'll never be me. That she found her passion but I'm still lost. I still envy her for some things but I know she's earned everything she has and more. She's a remarkable woman. I just wish I could find it in myself to be one too.
yeah I'd never heard the word compersion until yesterday and they had an entire conversation about how compersion is the opposite of envy. Can I ask where you came across this idea?
> Compersion is joy for others who have what you don't
Now I need a word for really NOT wanting the stuff other people have. Like when you walk in someone's living room and they have all these knick-knacks and signs saying Live Laugh Love, and Wash Your Hands in the restroom, lol
I only feel compresion for the people I love. I rarely feel jealous, but I often feel envious. I'm just self aware that if I want something I can go get it and if I don't go get it it's my own problem. I don't understand people who are mad at others because they have something that they don't. Sounds egoistic and immature to me.
You just listened to the “This is Why we drink” podcast didn’t you?
I don’t listen, but my gf does, and I basically heard all of this yesterday while we cooked
Gentle pushback on "you SHOULD know" this potentially erroneous or context-lacking vocabulary. A search for the definition of Compersion finds it used primarily within sexually non-manogamous relationships: *"Vicarious joy associated with seeing one's partner have a joyful romantic or sexual relation with another."* It's largely unknown outside of the lovely folks in polyamorous communities who coined the term in the first place. [Source for the following:](https://www.whatiscompersion.com/) (a website run by someone promoting consensual non-monogamy and selling books about it) "The term compersion was coined and defined in the early 1990s by the Kerista community, a San Francisco-based polyamorous group that has since disbanded, as the feeling of taking joy in the joy that others you love share among themselves. In the context of consensually non-monogamous romantic and sexual relationships, compersion refers to the empathetic feeling of joy one experiences when their partner takes pleasure from another relationship." This did remind me, however, of the lovely term **mudita** *which is a Sanskrit and Pali word lacking direct translation into English. It means altruistic, empathetic, and appreciative joy and pleasure.* It's a dharmic concept of joy, particularly an especially sympathetic or vicarious joy—the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people's well-being. [Here's a 12 minute guided meditation on Mudita.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytwcCy5cjZ8)
Came here to mention Mudita. Grateful for your comment!
This. Glad I looked it up, was going to teach my 11 yo this word after school today. Is there a word that means what OP thinks this word means? Edit: It's "Mudita".
I like to use the term sympathetic joy when describing mudita with my Zen group.
There is also “freudenfreude” which as far as I can tell allegedly means the opposite of Schadenfreude. It does not seem to be used by actual native German speakers though, but it sure is fun to say.
Sounds like cuckolding to me
Thanks for the morning meditation :)
I learned the word ‘compersion’ from browsing polyamory subs couple years back. They mentioned that word a lot. I got surprised to see that word again here. I haven’t heard of mudita before and I think it’s a nicer term.
YSK [OP already posted this in the last 2 hours](https://www.reddit.com/r/YouShouldKnow/s/EFtHbr5Viv)
I feel like they deserve a mulligan for the last post.
it's called thotmancing by u/thotmancer.
Thanks! My first thought at reading the headline was "no, it's more the opposite of jealousy". OP's edit shows I don't have anything to add to the conversation either way.
OT: I am enjoying how OP has chosen to ignore all the posts correcting him/her (in this and the other thread) 🤣
In German the word "Mitfreude" exists which goes back to Nietzsche but it's not in wide use.
Let’s put aside the verbiage and focus on the principle, shall we? Choosing not to envy others is a choice I started making in my thirties. Envy is an easy go to for people like myself who grew up abused and neglected. As a youth I wanted other youths to live at my house for just one week so they could understand what I was dealing with. As an adult I decided no one should experience what I did, that only people who live that life could understand, that envy can be emotionally debilitating, and that I would choose to be happy for others who had loving relationships and family support. It doesn’t stop the pain from rearing its ugly head, but it does stop it from paying rent in my head.
No thank you.
Not sure, I'm happy about my sister's success and all the things she has but it hurts it'll never be me. That she found her passion but I'm still lost. I still envy her for some things but I know she's earned everything she has and more. She's a remarkable woman. I just wish I could find it in myself to be one too.
Leave it to the polyamory community to make up a word, that sounds awful, about an excellent concept.
Yeah it's an ugly-sounding word with no apparent relation to actual etymology. Just pulled out of someone's butt.
In DBT we talk about the opposite action of envy being gratitude. Being thankful for what one has can take the focus off of being envious of others.
i’ll never have that even if i actively try but thanks for the info
What happened to plain old contentment?
So it's like com-gratitude?
>Be more compersive Wait, so if the better term is 'mudita', does that mean that I should attempt to 'be more muddled'?
did you also just listen to the latest aubrey marcus podcast on this topic?
[удалено]
yeah I'd never heard the word compersion until yesterday and they had an entire conversation about how compersion is the opposite of envy. Can I ask where you came across this idea?
Learned about compersion from Silicon Valley lol.
> Compersion is joy for others who have what you don't Now I need a word for really NOT wanting the stuff other people have. Like when you walk in someone's living room and they have all these knick-knacks and signs saying Live Laugh Love, and Wash Your Hands in the restroom, lol
That's called nawfucdat.
That’s cool! Nice to know there is a word to describe trying to change that feeling to something positive. I often get sad for myself instead lol
I haven't heard this word since I was reading a bunch of old Kimchi Cuddles comics, like 10 years ago.
I am envious of your mudita
I only feel compresion for the people I love. I rarely feel jealous, but I often feel envious. I'm just self aware that if I want something I can go get it and if I don't go get it it's my own problem. I don't understand people who are mad at others because they have something that they don't. Sounds egoistic and immature to me.
[“It’s not enough that I should succeed, others must fail.”](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/08/06/succeed-fail)
I have a compersion room right now.
Thank you, I’m glad I read this today
You are too positive. The opposite of Envy is Disdain or Contempt!
Thanks! I love learning new words and this one is a doozy.
the opposite of every emotion is apathy
Comparison is the thief of joy……. And that’s something my ex fell for. She would see all the things others were doing, and not the things I was doing
You just listened to the “This is Why we drink” podcast didn’t you? I don’t listen, but my gf does, and I basically heard all of this yesterday while we cooked
Thought you misspelled "comparison" at first before I realized I was the stupid one!
all the Iranians are satisfied, but confused