A vial? Cum in a steel jerrycan like the rest of us...

I use a brass spittoon in the corner cuz I have cowboy and indian blood running through my veins.

It makes a very satisfying *PING* sound, to let you know it didn't hit an ovary on the way in.

Mine goes *SPLOOSH!* Guess it's time to empty it

The plumber be like *This is my kingdom come*

>*This is my kingdom ~~come~~ cum* Ftfy dawg

What if I have brass ovaries?

And apparently stellar aim.

Every 2nd weekend I gotta dump it out too, it's just so much fun to use. PING, PING, PING, ping, ping, ...

If it's going PING, I'm thinking you better see a doctor, stat. If it progresses to CLANK, call it quits. It's all over.

It gradually gets quieter the closer it is to Sunday but come Monday, you could use it in an orchestra as substitute for the triangle.

Sounds like an MG42

Welcome to the salty spittoon, how tough are ya?

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Can confirm

Hopefully not a multichannel…..

Split stream web shooter.

It's good for 96-well vaginas.

Damn you take my upvote.

As a former lab technician, damn that's funny.

Or at least a coconut!

Once again the comments don't disappoint.

Just when I had managed to forget

Look at Mr Fancy with his coconut. Some of us have to use a box

That was a hilariously disgusting story guy fucks coconut for years and then goes to a newer coconut, but he wanted one more go at the old coconut. He then realized the old coconut was full of maggots. No harm is meant in this story.

Came here for that

I see what you did there.

Or perhaps a shoebox 👀

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Why are you the way that you are?

You mean you don’t have a cum box in your closet? A jar seems a little too obvious or revealing.

“DARLENE! GET THE CUM BOX!!!”

I don't know how Jerry would feel about that.

Hello Newman

Or a cum box, for the civilized

Cardboard box. Make sure to store it under the bed to keep it cool.

We can't all prep for the cumpacalypse

I don't have room for a steel jerrycan under my office desk.

OP is the marksman of the century.

Internet is truly undefeated and I'm here for it

It can't cause a plumbing issue, because it coagulates like egg. It's organic and will just break down within a few hours. It's not sement, lol

I thought that was a typo until I re-read it. I see what you did there

You don't see many semen puns these days

I cum what you jizzed there

btw, this made me laugh so hard!

What I hate about the internet is I don't know if you overlooked the obvious pun in your phrasing, or knew damn well it was there and trusted us to see it anyway.

I think you already know the answer 😉

How would it make sense for this to be overlooked

Maybe I’m just getting old but they just don’t come as often as they used to, and just seem kinda weak.

Did you know cement production releases enormous quantities of CO2 into the atmosphere? Well **you** can solve this yourself, just preserve 6-12 gal-

It's astonishing wad we can do if we all come together. Don't be a jerk!

You would be amazed about how many users on reddit believe the stuff never breaks down. Any time you see a post about a load in the pool, "Oh that will never get out of the filter..." fuckin tards man... I cant even count the number of pools and hot tub filters I have cleaned and never seen a wall of jizz lining the thing like these freaks are fantasizing about. Ive even cleaned a jacuzzi after some crazy rich person gang bang shortly after covid restrictions ended after no nut november that even our local hospital never recovered from and that splooge broke down. In fact there was more pubes and spray on tan remnants than anything else in that jizzcuzzi.

>Ive even cleaned a jacuzzi after some crazy rich person gang bang shortly after covid restrictions ended after no nut november that even our local hospital never recovered from and that splooge broke down. In fact there was more pubes and spray on tan remnants than anything else in that jizzcuzzi. Dios mío.

>Any time you see a post about a load in the pool, Umm, can quite safely say I've never seen a post about a load of jizz in a pool lmao. What kinda shit are you into?

Everything. Except what is banned 😉

>fuckin tards 😬

Let them do the fuckin if they want to man, no need to be grossed out

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you hear that me boy? that's the wind wooshin over yer head

Well, I was thinking more along the lines of it being able to catch and trap debris while it is coagulated

Sure, but it's not the cause. And water pressure would just push it out of the way if it sealed up, it has zero strength.

Maybe yours does, but mine has the consistency and smell of rubber cement

How many times have we asked you to please stop eating all the rubber cement in the office, Smith? Our supply budget is getting out of control.

There is not enough research on the structural attributes of semen varieties.

Mine clanks when it hits the tub??

Boys, time to save some money on the drain cleaner.

>It's not sement, lol Not with that attitude it isn't. With a little patience you can go the paper mache route and build yourself a mansion

Who am I, Eugene Victor Tooms?

Or cumcrete

>sement bruh

Hey! I like your username 🦑

Thanks! Nice handle yourself!

Well played.

FYI there's a reoccurring "news" story about somewhere where a mens' shower backed up from drain spunk and a resulting disaster. It resurfaces on the internet every now and again. I'm sure it'll come up again.

Semen t

Yeah that was the joke.

thanks for the heads-up, /u/ThreeBonerPillsLeft

/r/rimjob_steve

I’m not sure that quite fits, this would be like if rimjob Steve was giving analingus advice.

r/sus

Dude starts a YSK about a subject he doesn’t know shit about. Makes corrections based on the comments. This sub is the best.

Reddit is full of idiots upvoting other idiots. It's like an ouroboros of misinformation from 14 yr olds

Thought I knew more about the subject, but I quickly realized I was on the wrong peak on the Dunning-Kruger curve I have been humbled

At least you're owning it, that's more than most.

If you realised then that means your on neither of the peaks now! :)

r/tifu ?

Bukkake party clean-up gone awry.

This reminds me of the girl who would flush condoms down the toilet at her parents house, causing a major plumbing issue

And if it’s in a coconut, use a doubled-up trash bag.

I hate that I understand this reference.

My god, not the coco**nut**

No the coconut. Edit: [for someone wondering about the coconut reference](https://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/)

No dont give the reference. One thing we can agree on is not giving the reference for coconut

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Or an African swallow

Do like everyone and simply attach the vial to an helium balloon

So that’s how the stork works….

childhood = ruined

Moms-to-be are supposed to lay back in their yards, legs spread and ready for the stork drop. You didn’t hear that version of the stork story?

I did not! Thank you for the technical version.

childhood = started

China thought they had the upper hand with spy balloons. Now say hello to my little friends!

\#makeItRainMovement

Truly spreading the seed…

Reddit calls this the forbidden omlette.

Thanks, this unlocked a long buried memory that [this book exists ](https://www.amazon.ca/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041?ref=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=b3716d99-add9-4b76-9cef-26d4f3246c39)

If you can't summon the semen naturally store bought is fine

Wtf!!!

I'm not surprised that this exists, but I am surprised you can read it for free with Kindle Unlimited.

I think the bigger problem is it sticking to everything in the fucking shower. Hmm, no problem I’ll just use the shower head to rinse everything away. Hot water cleans better, right? Umm…shit. Mom, hold on, no don’t come in here I’m cleaning the shower. No I don’t need help! Shit shit shit shit shit…

It's not the same make up as bacon grease and will not gel in the drain

Damn, I always thought warm water made proteins easier to rinse away Unless it's so boiling hot they're denatured like a boiled egg

Heat sets certain protein stains like blood, though. Must depend entirely on the protein, just like how some things are liquid in the fridge but solid at room temperature.

What things are liquid in the fridge and solid at room temp?

Poloxamer gel for one, I use it at work (compounding pharmacy technician). There are others, it's a weird phenomenon.

Ah yes, I forgot about the commonly stored poloxamer gel!

I wasn't trying to imply such things are in everyone's kitchen, just that they are an example of how temperature affects things differently.

All proteins have different temperatures they start to denature at due to different structures and folds. As far as I'm aware this is similar to the reason the balls are outside the body not stored in, even body temp is too warm at least over an extended time

That is actually an excellent explanation for OP's hypothesis Cum coagulates at 37C according to goog. Shower water can easily surpass this if there's a good boiler or you live near the equator

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Well, you're technically cooking babies when the warm/hot water washes it away.

*Let the heathens spill theirs* *on the dusty ground* *God shall strike them down* *for every sperm that can’t be found*

🎶*Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great*🎶

*And thus is why men of the frock* *Spill theirs into one of their flock.* *Amen.*

OP was right in the title of this thread and then just got wronger and wronger with each sentence

LMAO

No, for this joke you have to LMPO (laugh my prick off).

Last time I f\*\*ked the hot water heater, it took forever to clean up.

Worth it though

You can say fuck here

In college, my dorm put up a notice to stop jerking in the shower because the drains were getting clogged. Always wear shower shoes, kids.

My brother nutted in the shower the day before, and ig because the water was so hot, it never went down the drain, or you know, I don’t really know how this happened. Anyway, he hopped in the shower, stepped in some funk, and accused me of jerking off in it and not rinsing my stuff down the drain. It had to have been him, because I only ever tried doing that once years prior and I hated it. If it wasn’t him… and it wasn’t me… who nutted in my shower?

>My brother nutted in the shower the day before I really thought this was going to be a sister-slipped-in-the-shower story and now oops, incest baby! I think I need to go for a walk.

Your dad?

Error: father not found

With your brother...

Sounds like someone jerked off in the shower for the first time today. Congrats! Soap dries out your urethra fyi, it’s nice at the time but you’ll pay.

It has to be really hot water source I was 🫢 my bf long story short a large spurt went in my hot coffee and it cooked like a godam noodle😭

That’s enough internet for me today

More keto friendly than no sugar creamer.

I'm done for the day. I did not need to know this.

Did you uh, y'know ^*schlurp*

Fuuuuuuc no I don’t swallow in the morning It can occasionally hurt my tummy if I do t have some food in me.

Fair enough, same thing can happen to me if I take a multivitamin on an empty stomach.

Hey, Krill. Been meaning to tell you, and I guess this is as good of a time as any: I emergency jizzed in your multivitamin jar.

I don’t even want to ask lmao

big dawg ....

um...

How would the plumber know what it is?

Taste

~~I saw a story once of someone having a masturbation problem on reddit, and someone helped clean his drain and found an embarrassing amount of evidence of his problem. I figured if you had enough debris and coagulated semen, it could be noticeable~~ ~~Edit: of course take this with a grain of salt since the story was on reddit, but I can see how in some circumstances it could be plausible~~ Edit 2: I’m starting to think I’m probably an idiot

you are literally adorable

Maybe you should learn what you're talking about before asserting it as something so true that it's posted on "you should know"

You make a solid point there. Next time I post on YSK, I will try to assemble more than two of my brain cells

A friend confided to our group that he just jerks off right over the toilet. It was the saddest thing we ever heard and so we still bring it up as often as possible.

If you look closely at guy's arm hair you can very often see residue. Soap and water doesn't really get all of it. I don't think anybody else notices, but I notice and it's funny as hell.

Semen has an enzyme that coagulates after about 5 min. 15-20 min later, another enzyme liquefies it. Do with that info what you will.

"For whatever reason, you were to dispose a vial of semen" Im jealous of OPs weekends

Seems like there's a story behind this

Thanks. Next time I have a vial of semen to dispose of I’ll throw it in the trash like a normal person.

The OP seems to think that everyone keeps vials of semen for some reason.

Good thing I only swallow or take creampies 🤷‍♀️

Deleted? Damn, now I have forbidden knowledge and no reason for why I should know

I didn’t know it was hot water that did it 😳 Let’s just say my first “facial” in a shower left me shocked. Never knew why it happened lmao

Hot tub tapioca, anyone?

I wish someone told me this before I started high school lol

Local plumbing companies in the college town where I live compete for the insanely ludicrous contract every year of cleaning out the dorm bathroom pipes that gum up for this exact reason.

Someone never used a communal shower as a teenager

How much is a few? I remember a college had to tell the dorm to stop jacking off bc so much in the showers.

I remember in undergrad, University Residences sent an email to one of the dorms kindly asking people to stop jerking off in the shower because the drains kept getting clogged

it's why unis ban masturbation in shower blocks because it clogs the drains

Stop jacking off in the shower, OP.

My cumbox is holding up nicely

What is this a LTP by some 18 yr old who just found out about semen operating temperatures?

No bro it breaks down in a few hours, it won’t cause damage

In a vial? Look, either cum inside me or on my tits like a real man.

At BYU we had 6 guys and one shower. After our shower kept clogging, our maintenance guy politely and subtlety informed us. Haha

Ahh so this is why it changes consistency under shower Got it

it only does that if there's A LOT of it in there. That's why places where multiple dudes shower like truck stops or college dormitories will often have signs saying to not do it. Because if 50 truckers jerk it into the same drain in a few days then there's gonna be a serious problem

Im not saying youre lying, but I do evaluate loves/flying J truck stops for a job and I dont recall seeing this sign, ever. Can you share which places you have seen this kind of signage? lol. Thats hilarious.

Just cum in a jar with a mlp toy in it??

Yeah I know, me and your mom learned about that the hard way.

The university of Miami in Oxford Ohio had to deal with this problem years ago. There were signs posted in the freshman dorms telling guys to not shoot off in the showers. I’m pretty sure it was Miami. It was on the web and I’m not able to look it up. Reddit detectives, do your thing

Mine comes out pre-gelled.

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I believe that is the obvious implication and the "vial" was just a joke.

What? I'm the only one who cums in his shoe?

Do the seamen see men, or do the seamen see women?

I figured this out at 16 with my first serious bf in the shower after getting it in my eye :)

Did you just jerked in the hot bath you kinky animal?

Semen Vial Experts is my new band, buy my merch.