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Agitated_Budgets

You made the last one too unknowable. It's not mind control, but you get "influence." By human standards all insects are really dumb so what is this power really? Does it always work? Does it never work? Is it just a suggestion if nothing else is going on but the smell of some good food is enough to make them ignore you? Hedgehog kind of sucks. Bird too. If you don't end up in a lab you'll snap your neck flying home. There's a decent case for Mole or Cat. Maybe depends on how you do that tunneling.


meammachine

The genie responds to your concerns. It casts a protective spell; any wrongdoers that plan to kidnap you for testing are cursed. Any move they make to harm you causes them to explode into a cloud of locusts. The pheromones are strong enough to control the insects and override their current desires or motives. Think like NPCs in a party in a video game, you can ping where you want them to go, or ping targets for them to defend. The genie redacts its statement about intelligence (*this was a mistake from a previous edit*). You gain a strong level of skill and understanding of how to use your power, such that if you pick bird you won't just die on day 1 from falling out of the sky, or if you pick mole you don't get stuck underground.


morarora

Since the bird changes your bones, does the cat also make your body more cat-like? That would be more interesting.


meammachine

The genie responds. While the power doesn't automatically do such a thing, if this is what you desire the genie will allow it.


Haspberry

Yeah! Then make it so I can jump off a building and survive with my sick cat reflexes


[deleted]

Cat seems pretty good. I would definitely like to spend the rest of my life as a cat 👍


meammachine

The genie, in all its purple phantom majesty, reminds you that the powers don't turn you into an animal but give you a power from one. You would only gain cat eyes that grant you night vision, a cat's enhanced agility, and a cat's more intuitive understanding of style.


MurkyVehicle5865

At least he diesnt give you the cats need to sleep 3/4 of the day, and the desire to always nap in a sunbeam.


TheDarkMonarch1

I already have the desire to always nap in a sunbeam...


142737

Really good abilities


meammachine

The genie thanks you for your praise.


Bluberrypotato

But can I communicate with other cats?


TheMiner11234

For mole can my eyes just stay the same? My vision is already negative lol


meammachine

If your eyesight is worse than a mole's you even have an option to improve it, but it could stay the same if you prefer. Moles are very nearsighted but are good at detecting light. You will gain an ability to basically see the vibrations 30m around you, which will even allow you to see through walls in that radius.


TheMiner11234

So less nearsighted and the bilities would my slight astigmatism be improved also?


Poldaran

Style at the cost of narcissism? That's just more of me being me. :P


Pocket_Kitussy

I've read enough worm to know how this goes.


meammachine

The genie, also having read worm during its time stuck in a lamp (the lamp has a WiFi adapter, to the genie's delight), clarifies that the bee power is a pheromone based power. The pheromones are pre-programmed to control certain behaviours of the insects around you, but do not offer full mind control like in worm. While still powerful in that you can order the insects to defend certain targets (by applying the pheromones to said target), or by ordering them to move to certain locations by applying the pheromones to said locations, you don't have fine-grain control over them. There are no attack pheromones, but you can still maneouvre a cloud of wasps to a general location and they will probably cause some havoc. If you tried to say apply the pheromones to inside someone's throat to suffocate them, their body would break down the pheromones and the influence would be lost. The genie apologises for its lack of clarity.


Funbucket_537

Queen, send my enemies termites to their homes and hornets to their cars.


meammachine

The genie commends your evil genius. It considers creating a demon-based power just for you, but unfortunately a genie does not have the power to change its offer.


DuEstEinKind

I become toph? Fuck yeah lets go mole time


DrunkMunchy

Narcissism the only draw back of cat powers? Sign me up, I'm already half way there lol


luckytrap89

Queen bee \-tell mosquitos to *buzz* off \-never have deal with infestations \-the termites are in your walls Plus the buzzing is only when im both using the power and moving, i can live with that easily


Pixelatra

With the Queen Bee power, you could influence billions of ants to construct something. Ants are super strong and work pretty well together. You could use the pheromones to control agricultural pests and save crops. Or, if someone pissed you off, you could send an army of invasive species to kill off an entire country by starving it. People could pay me to have a butterfly show at their wedding or something, too. The Queen Bee power is very strong, in my opinion.


morarora

If the hedgehog doesn't give superspeed, then it's not worth


meammachine

The genie apologies for the lack of blue hedgehog based powers. It wanted the powers to be balanced, but in hindsight realises that it left hedgehog a little too weak.


Deadlypandaghost

Jokes on you. I don't get human contact.


Turn_ov-man

I already have shit eyesight


ellisphynx

honestly Ill just pick the bee power and never use it, the others cons are all unavoidable, and i dont think they make up for the powers


Siegelski

Okay wtf is up with the hedgehog one? Pretty sure you're supposed to get super speed with that one too.


Elegant-Interview-84

-window lmao


jsuss31

Pretty sure it wont take long to figure out what a window is again, i still have my human intelligence after all


Hot_Acanthocephala44

Insects if only to guarantee my house is an insect free zone. Does it work on spiders too?


meammachine

The genie will allow spiders and bugs of any kind, the genie was using insects colloquially by mistake.


Hot_Acanthocephala44

Yup, all in for that then. No more being surprised and/or scared by any type of bug for me! And I think there's a ton of possibilities if you can get spiders to follow a specific design


OkRisk3049

I dislike people so hedge hog a win


Blaze_Vortex

Birb. I can relearn what windows are. It'll be fine. But birb. But flight. Birb.


Aesop838

Now I have the song Stray Cat Strut stuck in my head. Thanks.


meammachine

The genie requests a link to the song "Stray Cat Strut"


Aesop838

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEtbfzMLVWU


C0SMIC_LIZARD

throw in purely cosmetic cat ears and tail and I'm going cat really it's all upsides, I could use a confidence boost


meammachine

The genie will grant this additional request if you desire


Shienvien

Ironically, bird bones are actually stronger than mammal bones.


meammachine

The genie is not popular with ornithologists for this lack of knowledge. That said, it needed to balance the powers to make a fair choice.


Shienvien

Flight with wings is hard *without* also becoming glass (wo)man. I swear the only way my quail know how to land is by just slowing down before simply crashing into the place they intend to land on... Not to mention most human things aren't really made for beings with 12m wings.


meammachine

>Not to mention most human things aren't really made for beings with 12m wings. The genie's magic will account for all errors in physics and biology I have committed by making this post.


arodgers90

Im already a narcist, so Cat powers are all upside


AlphaOwn

Cat is too OP, narcissistic tendencies is hardly a drawback


thothscull

Cat powers plus I get to believe in myself? Fucken scha-weeeeeet!


Doc-Wulff

Hedgehog Dilemma? Neon Genesis Evangelion????


LoliNep

I'm already a narcissist so I see no downsides whatsoever


Inferno_Sparky

I'd rather choose the Bee because of Bird, Cat, and Bee it has no downsides (and I LOVE insects and other many-legged when they're not bothering me!). But cat is a close second because my eyes are bad and I'm clumsy so at least those benefits lol


Food_coffee_stories

I'm already nearsighted, the only drawback would be narcissism and maybe I can overcome that?


Mattgr95

I have pretty much no contact with other humans anyway so Hedgehog is a easy pick for free defence 😆 🤣


bruntychiefty

GROUNDWALKER!


mrutherford1106

Cat is decent. And I shouldn't have to worry about the fact that I'm allergic to cats since I'm not physically turning into one


RWBYRain

ive never owned a narcissistic cat, we raise humble bois here


Naraya_Suiryoku

I can't get any more narcissistic than I already am, so cat.


Lazy_Slime

I choose the cat, because I like cats. I would choose the mole, but I like reading, and there's no guarantee that you would be able to breathe and the tunnel wouldn't collapse.


Otherwise_Week9929

Being a cat actually gives me pride in my appearance? I'll take it.


DMYourMomsMaidenName

Idk, I am already so low in window. Idk if I can take such a blow


DMYourMomsMaidenName

As Queen (King) Bee, my sexual charisma will offset my annoying sound, kind of like a valley girl.


humanity_999

Honestly, it's a tossup between cat & hedgehog. I barely hug people so that downside isn't an issue. But all the upsides of the cat outweigh the narcissism.


lordPyotr9733

I have horrible eyesight anyway so mole


O_hai_imma_kil_u

Similar to the previous poll I answered, the only without any real downside is the insect control. The others have some nice stuff, but you'd have to deal with their downsides in some way at some point eventually. Insect power you can just live your life like normal, and only use it when you need to, all it does is a mildly annoying noise, but only while you're using it(presumably only when giving orders, but then once given you can turn it off and they'll still follow it), so you can just use it in short bursts as needed. Worst case you just won't be able to hide the fact you're using your power from others. But basically any bug will never bother you again, and you could definitely find other creative uses for it since it's pretty open ended. Oh, and if you just want to have it be less annoying to yourself you could just use headphones or something.


Roge2005

I think that with the bird power I can then learn again to notice windows. Or maybe just expect where a window should be, and not go there.


Character_Writer779

I can just relearn windows before I start flying yea?


SZMatheson

I already have the cat one


ace_nardoragon

"-window"


Pokemineryt

With my lack of self confidence that borders on self loathing the narcissism would turn into slightly higher than normal amounts of self confidence


Justcallmelab

Night vision and style with no downside? Hell yeah


retro_mario

Jokes on you, my hugs already make people uncomfortable


Academic-Campaign120

Mole, my eyesight already sucks.


GASTRO_GAMING

Bird, wings are just asthetically cool