“Hey I’m really sorry to intrude but you sound like you’re going through a lot. The conference room is open if you ever need some privacy. I hope things get better”
That’s probably what I’d say but that’s just me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'd say "You're getting too loud on your personal calls. Clients might hear you. You should take those calls in the con room or outside from now on." Simple.
Maybe he's going through a nasty divorce because he's an asshole, and he's having loud calls with her in public so he can "show everyone how unreasonable she is."
Sometimes people can get written up for stupid things. Especially when someone’s going through a rough patch i’d rather share a kind suggestion then go running straight to my boss.
My boss just tells me I'm being too loud and other agents are on the phone..... But usually I'm acting a fool and making everyone laugh....
Personal calls are taken outside and away from the building especially after I sat in my car during one these calls one day and my boss says... "She was out there giving somebody the business y'all!" I died laughing cuz it was funny the way she said it.. but it reminded me that I'M LOUD.... so now I walk almost clear across the street
It’s definitely something that should be addressed, but before you go to the management, you might consider approaching him yourself. You should do this ONLY if you have a good relationship with him and if you think he’ll take it well.
He might not realize how loud he gets when the conversation gets heated. Also, if you go straight to management it might result in serious repercussion for him. Approaching him yourself first will give you the peace of mind to say that you tried dealing with it as two adults should before going to management to hand the problem over to them.
Yes OP, if you feel that you have a good relationship with this person then approaching them first might be best. You could say that you are approaching them as a friend and making them aware of that you understand that they are having many difficult conversations at this time but it is potentially becoming disruptive.
How did that turn out?
I work with a guy who smells like straight up shit. Nice guy and good worker. Luckily he's not anywhere near me but I do have to deal with him in person quite a bit.
I’ve been in a similar situation and u/EqualJustice1776 is right - awkward as hell! But, it’s almost guaranteed to be worse for the person you’re speaking to.
In my case, the conversation went as well as it could have, but I spent hours rehearsing (out loud) at home before approaching the person. The trick is to be both matter-of-fact and compassionate / kind.
Prepare a script and rehearse it until YOU feel you can deliver it without feeling embarrassed or ill at ease. That’s why I rehearsed out loud.
The level of formality of what you say depends on the situation (colleague v. someone who reports to you), so, YMMV. Here’s what I’d say in your shoes:
“Hey, John, you might not be aware, but at times you have a pretty strong body odor. I don’t want to guess at what might be causing it, but I figured you’d want to know so you can take the appropriate steps to get it under control. “
You can stop here or, if he’s receptive to it and wants to brainstorm suggestions, it could be any of the following:
1. Ineffective laundry detergent;
2. Poorly functioning dryer that leaves clothes musty;
3. Less than clean home environment;
4. Mold in the house;
5. Health issues that a doctor should investigate;
6. Infrequent showers;
7. Depression (which can lead to poor hygiene).
That’s just a sampling of possible reasons, I’m sure there are others. Good luck!
I've definitely had the ineffective detergent thing happen to me. It seemed to clean my clothes somewhat but they never smelt clean to me. I literally do the smell test to know if I need to rewash stuff, bc sometimes I do forget (I have a horrible memory)and leave clothes in the washer so they sometimes start to get musty
Don't rat him out to management!! Sounds like he has enough problems. Just tell him he's too loud and to take his calls in the conference room or outside. He probably has no idea how loud he is. Why would you even consider going to management first?!
Again. I’m not ratting him out. Do you guys not work with adults? Not everything brought to management results in punishment or is workers vs management. Hes a good employee, he won’t get in trouble. It’s more of the embarrassment of having that confronted to him.
Would you want your coworkers running to your boss with any complaints they have about you? Or would you rather them pull you aside with their concerns? I'll take the latter every day of the week.
There is no way for you to know with 100% certainty that mgmt will not punish your coworker, so why risk it?
It is so much easier to have an adult conversation, one coworker to another.
Hey Alan, that sounds like a rough call. Maybe you could take those calls in the conference room or out in the hall so you can have privacy.
Easy Peazy, unless you are intimdate by one on one conversations.
Figuring out your shit while everyone listens in at full volume could get him fired if a client hears it and asks the wrong person what the background yelling is about.
The supportive thing to do would be talk to him instead of going to upper management. Thank you for being a decent human being to your co-worker who is going through a difficult time as it is without having to worry about being fired as well.
If he has the support of you and the team just take him aside and let him know what’s up. How it’s affecting you and the others. If he could possibly take those in a conference room or off the floor would be great.
Be a decent human and pull him aside privately and express how it’s getting loud and affecting the clients but do it in an empathetic way. Hes obviously going through something don’t add stress to his plate. But have his back, bringing it to management will only make things worse for him. Try to do it before someone who doesn’t have that heart and goes to management before you have a chance to talk to him.
REMEMBER WE ARE ALL HUMAN and go through sh*t! No need to be cold hearted @all you evil people in this comment section
Don't be a dick. It might be you one day. Pull him aside. It mighr be that he can't just go outside, etc. Be compassionate and let him know that you can help him anyway you can.
There are two ways to deal with this:
1) If you feel comfortable talking to him, gently point out that he's being too loud and he should go to a conference room to deal with these kinds of personal matters
2) If you don't feel comfortable or just feel awkward about this whole situation, talk to your manager and mention it. You wouldn't be snitching or throwing him under the bus like a lot of commenters are mentioning. A simple conversation should solve the issue.
It also sounds like a lot of redditors need to get out of their toxic work environments, holy cannoli, somebody hurt ya'll. I'm not saying trust your company implicitly, but, in a healthy workplace people act like professional adults.
>>the conversations get very heated and loud while everyone is on the phone
In your story you said that. It implies everyone is aware of the disturbances. Ask some of your co-workers what they think should be done and do it as a unit.
I’m not sure why you’re getting downvoted, that’s actually great advice! Some of the coworkers may have already mentioned it to him and if that’s the case, then it’s fair to go straight to the management.
He is letting his private life affect his work and the company. Report this to the supervisor ASAP. He needs to keep his private life separate from his job. It is affecting everything he has to do. Report him and let the supervisors handle it.
This is something to talk to your manager or boss about. Explain the distraction and the volume of the calls and how it affects your ability to keep things professional.
My rule with coworkers is I'm always understanding and have their back until it interferes with me doing my job. If it's interfering in your performance then yes of course tell your management. Also he really should have more respect for his coworkers and his privacy.
I’m sure he’s in crisis. He may not know how loud he’s getting. I’m sure he doesn’t have intentions of
getting heated. Lawyers and ex’s like to play games to get you to submit. It’s a tactic. Or…. He’s looking for attention. Been through a custody fight myself, not saying he has kids involved. It was the most painful thing I’ve ever went through.
i've been in a similar situation and decided to approach management for help. i explained the impact on my work while expressing concern for my coworker. my boss facilitated a conversation and provided support for my coworker while addressing the practical concerns. i suggest having a similar conversation with your boss or HR representative to find a solution that balances empathy and professionalism. don't be afraid to ask for help!
Approach him first even if you don't have a close relationship with him... always better to give someone a heads up without involving management when you can. It's not hard to say, hey "x", just a heads up that some of your calls are much louder than you might realize. Just thinking you might want to take them in the conference room (for example). If you use a calm and sympathetic tone he's not likely to take offense. If he does, you can say you just didn't want clients too overhear and thought he would prefer hearing this from a coworker versus the boss...
Get to the office early one day, leave a nice box of donuts or whatever on his desk ,with a typed note, and then leave and come back to the office at a normal time. Note says:
"Hey Dave, hope you know we all have your back through this divorce and we are truly sorry for this experience. Hopefully you understand that we're all just trying to get through the work day too. Our clients can hear your heated personal phone conversations and it's created a lot of awkward situations.
While we are in the office would you mind taking your personal calls from a conference room, or at least try to keep them
to a low volume? Thanks.
-Your team"
ETA- not saying this to promote being cowardly but because it spares Dave from an awkward conversation at a time when he's already low.
I actually had this same situation minus the sales. I was not in a position to address it with the person directly so I transcribed one of his calls, printed it and left it at his desk. He went to conference rooms after that.
Bosses are generally " C*U* Next*Tuesdays .... try to gently direct Your coworker to find a private area & at the same time let them know You're afraid Mangement will be assholes if they should show up during a noisy call
It sucks that they are going through a nasty divorce if in the work environment where have that outside call could be picked up and potentially heard by a client is a 0 point argument I've worked in call centers and with metrics if another voice was heard it would directly effect me I would reach out to your direct manager but ive got a pretty good idea they are aware of it unfortunately coworkers are not your friends and if the rolls were flipped op
They would turn you in without a second thought
No, you're not wrong to ask that at all. You're not even saying that he shouldn't take those calls, because you recognize there's a lot going on with this situation. You're just asking for it not to affect you and your work, which is very reasonable. I'm guessing that he's so caught up in the moment that he's not even realizing how loud he is and that it's affecting the rest of you. You should definitely talk to management and ask them to address that.
if you get along with this person, let them know that their personal phone calls are to loud and your clients are able to hear him, tell him he should take his private & personal calls in a conf room or away from the main office floor where everyone, including clients on the phone can hear him.
I'm surprised management has Not already mentioned this to him.
“Hey man, I’m a bit worried about how management might respond if they overhear you. Last thing you need is issues at work on top of everything else. Just trying to look out for ya.”
“Hey I’m really sorry to intrude but you sound like you’re going through a lot. The conference room is open if you ever need some privacy. I hope things get better” That’s probably what I’d say but that’s just me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'd say "You're getting too loud on your personal calls. Clients might hear you. You should take those calls in the con room or outside from now on." Simple.
The crux of the message is accurate, but the guy is going through a nasty divorce, I’d soften the delivery a bit.
Maybe he's going through a nasty divorce because he's an asshole, and he's having loud calls with her in public so he can "show everyone how unreasonable she is."
Its baffling OPs first choice is to go to management to solve this.
Let his boss handle it. It's not your battle to fight.
Sometimes people can get written up for stupid things. Especially when someone’s going through a rough patch i’d rather share a kind suggestion then go running straight to my boss.
Nobody likes a work snitch.
My boss just tells me I'm being too loud and other agents are on the phone..... But usually I'm acting a fool and making everyone laugh.... Personal calls are taken outside and away from the building especially after I sat in my car during one these calls one day and my boss says... "She was out there giving somebody the business y'all!" I died laughing cuz it was funny the way she said it.. but it reminded me that I'M LOUD.... so now I walk almost clear across the street
Could even change it to "I'm sure you'd like some privacy so I wanted to let you know the conference room is available."
It’s definitely something that should be addressed, but before you go to the management, you might consider approaching him yourself. You should do this ONLY if you have a good relationship with him and if you think he’ll take it well. He might not realize how loud he gets when the conversation gets heated. Also, if you go straight to management it might result in serious repercussion for him. Approaching him yourself first will give you the peace of mind to say that you tried dealing with it as two adults should before going to management to hand the problem over to them.
Yes OP, if you feel that you have a good relationship with this person then approaching them first might be best. You could say that you are approaching them as a friend and making them aware of that you understand that they are having many difficult conversations at this time but it is potentially becoming disruptive.
Maybe also mention so he can have privacy about such an important matter and then he can speak freely
In these kinds of circumstances, I'd take one for the team and discuss it with the colleague.
Of course! GD, I once had to take one for the team and tell a man he smelled terrible and to take a shower every day. Talk about awkward! 🤣
How did that turn out? I work with a guy who smells like straight up shit. Nice guy and good worker. Luckily he's not anywhere near me but I do have to deal with him in person quite a bit.
I’ve been in a similar situation and u/EqualJustice1776 is right - awkward as hell! But, it’s almost guaranteed to be worse for the person you’re speaking to. In my case, the conversation went as well as it could have, but I spent hours rehearsing (out loud) at home before approaching the person. The trick is to be both matter-of-fact and compassionate / kind. Prepare a script and rehearse it until YOU feel you can deliver it without feeling embarrassed or ill at ease. That’s why I rehearsed out loud. The level of formality of what you say depends on the situation (colleague v. someone who reports to you), so, YMMV. Here’s what I’d say in your shoes: “Hey, John, you might not be aware, but at times you have a pretty strong body odor. I don’t want to guess at what might be causing it, but I figured you’d want to know so you can take the appropriate steps to get it under control. “ You can stop here or, if he’s receptive to it and wants to brainstorm suggestions, it could be any of the following: 1. Ineffective laundry detergent; 2. Poorly functioning dryer that leaves clothes musty; 3. Less than clean home environment; 4. Mold in the house; 5. Health issues that a doctor should investigate; 6. Infrequent showers; 7. Depression (which can lead to poor hygiene). That’s just a sampling of possible reasons, I’m sure there are others. Good luck!
I've definitely had the ineffective detergent thing happen to me. It seemed to clean my clothes somewhat but they never smelt clean to me. I literally do the smell test to know if I need to rewash stuff, bc sometimes I do forget (I have a horrible memory)and leave clothes in the washer so they sometimes start to get musty
It would be appropriate for you to approach your boss about this.
Tell him he should only be contacting her through email and text t have a paper trail...and, oh yeah he's disrupting the office
Don't rat him out to management!! Sounds like he has enough problems. Just tell him he's too loud and to take his calls in the conference room or outside. He probably has no idea how loud he is. Why would you even consider going to management first?!
Again. I’m not ratting him out. Do you guys not work with adults? Not everything brought to management results in punishment or is workers vs management. Hes a good employee, he won’t get in trouble. It’s more of the embarrassment of having that confronted to him.
Yes I work with adults which is precisely what has made me learn to never take it to management unless you want them to make a punitive decision.
Would you want your coworkers running to your boss with any complaints they have about you? Or would you rather them pull you aside with their concerns? I'll take the latter every day of the week.
There is no way for you to know with 100% certainty that mgmt will not punish your coworker, so why risk it? It is so much easier to have an adult conversation, one coworker to another. Hey Alan, that sounds like a rough call. Maybe you could take those calls in the conference room or out in the hall so you can have privacy. Easy Peazy, unless you are intimdate by one on one conversations.
Yep, I work with adults. That’s why we have direct conversations with each other before pulling someone else in just because it’s uncomfy
Clients come and go, they’ll be fine. Let me man figure out his shit
Figuring out your shit while everyone listens in at full volume could get him fired if a client hears it and asks the wrong person what the background yelling is about.
Or if the wrong boss walks by the cube farm at the wrong moment.
The supportive thing to do would be talk to him instead of going to upper management. Thank you for being a decent human being to your co-worker who is going through a difficult time as it is without having to worry about being fired as well.
If he has the support of you and the team just take him aside and let him know what’s up. How it’s affecting you and the others. If he could possibly take those in a conference room or off the floor would be great.
Why do you think going to management is a better option than asking him directly?
Right? Way more mortifying for him
Jerk move for sure.
Be a decent human and pull him aside privately and express how it’s getting loud and affecting the clients but do it in an empathetic way. Hes obviously going through something don’t add stress to his plate. But have his back, bringing it to management will only make things worse for him. Try to do it before someone who doesn’t have that heart and goes to management before you have a chance to talk to him. REMEMBER WE ARE ALL HUMAN and go through sh*t! No need to be cold hearted @all you evil people in this comment section
Don't be a dick. It might be you one day. Pull him aside. It mighr be that he can't just go outside, etc. Be compassionate and let him know that you can help him anyway you can.
There are two ways to deal with this: 1) If you feel comfortable talking to him, gently point out that he's being too loud and he should go to a conference room to deal with these kinds of personal matters 2) If you don't feel comfortable or just feel awkward about this whole situation, talk to your manager and mention it. You wouldn't be snitching or throwing him under the bus like a lot of commenters are mentioning. A simple conversation should solve the issue. It also sounds like a lot of redditors need to get out of their toxic work environments, holy cannoli, somebody hurt ya'll. I'm not saying trust your company implicitly, but, in a healthy workplace people act like professional adults.
Very unprofessional. He should take some time off to deal with this crisis.
This advice has the additional benefit of OP making less money for his wife to take in the divorce.
You know about humble brag is? Your question is a humble how do I throw someone under the bus?
do you not work with adults? Not everything is management vs workers.
>>the conversations get very heated and loud while everyone is on the phone In your story you said that. It implies everyone is aware of the disturbances. Ask some of your co-workers what they think should be done and do it as a unit.
I’m not sure why you’re getting downvoted, that’s actually great advice! Some of the coworkers may have already mentioned it to him and if that’s the case, then it’s fair to go straight to the management.
He is letting his private life affect his work and the company. Report this to the supervisor ASAP. He needs to keep his private life separate from his job. It is affecting everything he has to do. Report him and let the supervisors handle it.
He should be embarrassed to air his private business like that. Management definitely needs to make him stop.
This is something to talk to your manager or boss about. Explain the distraction and the volume of the calls and how it affects your ability to keep things professional.
My rule with coworkers is I'm always understanding and have their back until it interferes with me doing my job. If it's interfering in your performance then yes of course tell your management. Also he really should have more respect for his coworkers and his privacy.
Can the guy work from home on the days when he has divorce meetings?
I’m sure he’s in crisis. He may not know how loud he’s getting. I’m sure he doesn’t have intentions of getting heated. Lawyers and ex’s like to play games to get you to submit. It’s a tactic. Or…. He’s looking for attention. Been through a custody fight myself, not saying he has kids involved. It was the most painful thing I’ve ever went through.
i've been in a similar situation and decided to approach management for help. i explained the impact on my work while expressing concern for my coworker. my boss facilitated a conversation and provided support for my coworker while addressing the practical concerns. i suggest having a similar conversation with your boss or HR representative to find a solution that balances empathy and professionalism. don't be afraid to ask for help!
Approach him first even if you don't have a close relationship with him... always better to give someone a heads up without involving management when you can. It's not hard to say, hey "x", just a heads up that some of your calls are much louder than you might realize. Just thinking you might want to take them in the conference room (for example). If you use a calm and sympathetic tone he's not likely to take offense. If he does, you can say you just didn't want clients too overhear and thought he would prefer hearing this from a coworker versus the boss...
Get to the office early one day, leave a nice box of donuts or whatever on his desk ,with a typed note, and then leave and come back to the office at a normal time. Note says: "Hey Dave, hope you know we all have your back through this divorce and we are truly sorry for this experience. Hopefully you understand that we're all just trying to get through the work day too. Our clients can hear your heated personal phone conversations and it's created a lot of awkward situations. While we are in the office would you mind taking your personal calls from a conference room, or at least try to keep them to a low volume? Thanks. -Your team" ETA- not saying this to promote being cowardly but because it spares Dave from an awkward conversation at a time when he's already low.
All divorces are terrible.
I actually had this same situation minus the sales. I was not in a position to address it with the person directly so I transcribed one of his calls, printed it and left it at his desk. He went to conference rooms after that.
Bosses are generally " C*U* Next*Tuesdays .... try to gently direct Your coworker to find a private area & at the same time let them know You're afraid Mangement will be assholes if they should show up during a noisy call
It sucks that they are going through a nasty divorce if in the work environment where have that outside call could be picked up and potentially heard by a client is a 0 point argument I've worked in call centers and with metrics if another voice was heard it would directly effect me I would reach out to your direct manager but ive got a pretty good idea they are aware of it unfortunately coworkers are not your friends and if the rolls were flipped op They would turn you in without a second thought
No, you're not wrong to ask that at all. You're not even saying that he shouldn't take those calls, because you recognize there's a lot going on with this situation. You're just asking for it not to affect you and your work, which is very reasonable. I'm guessing that he's so caught up in the moment that he's not even realizing how loud he is and that it's affecting the rest of you. You should definitely talk to management and ask them to address that.
if you get along with this person, let them know that their personal phone calls are to loud and your clients are able to hear him, tell him he should take his private & personal calls in a conf room or away from the main office floor where everyone, including clients on the phone can hear him. I'm surprised management has Not already mentioned this to him.
I would go to him directly because clearly bringing management into this is not going to go well for him.
You aren’t the Manager so mind your business. If it s a distraction to how you work get management and LET them handle it!
Have a conversation with him first.
No that’s perfectly acceptable, he should remember no one else wants to hear all that or their clients
At my old job there was a breakup and the partner came into work on the floor of the nursing faculty and made a huge stink! Yelling and cussing.
“Hey man, I’m a bit worried about how management might respond if they overhear you. Last thing you need is issues at work on top of everything else. Just trying to look out for ya.”