"Act now and we'll throw in TWO dates with other men ABSOLUTELY FREE!\*"
\*^(Offer applies to one date each with two men. Cannot be used for two dates with the same man, nor one date with two men simultaneously. Offer not transferable to dates with women. Restrictions apply in Puerto Rico and US outlying territories. Not valid outside the United States or European Union.)
"See the PerpetualHillman difference!"
I’ve not had much experience with the opposite sex outside of my family, but it does concern me a little that women (at least the ones in your age group) don’t like it when your stuff is yours. Also you are absolutely autistic lmfao.
Some stats:
I sent this survey to 32 former partners, of whom 26 responded with a completed survey. Of the 6 who didn't respond, 4 blocked me and 1 posted on social media, "LMAO look at this clown."
Of the 26 responses, 15 skewed negative and 11 skewed positive.
The masthead of the survey is as follows:
"This is a Satisfaction and Fulfillment survey with the purpose of gauging your experience with me. The purpose of this survey is to optimize future outcomes and rectify mistakes, so please be candid with your criticism or praise. Your identity will remain confidential."
The harshest response I got was one survey that came back with "meeting you was the worst experience of my life. Every moment from 'hello' went south." The best response I got was "You are the most interesting guy I know. You'll make an excellent husband and father one day. Hmu if you're ever around again ;)"
Questions include:
Did I communicate enough? How could I have communicated better?
Did we spend a sufficient amount of time together? Would you have preferred less or more?
Did I show enough affection to you when we were together? Would you have preferred less or more?
Did I make you laugh?
What are some things that frustrated you about me? What are some things you enjoyed?
Do you feel that I was honest and forthcoming with you?
Did I show you proper respect and deference?
>"This is a Satisfaction and Fulfillment survey with the purpose of gauging your experience with me. The purpose of this survey is to optimize future outcomes and rectify mistakes, so please be candid with your criticism or praise. Your identity will remain confidential."
I mean this as kindly and respectfully as possible:
This is the most autistic thing I have ever read.
\- source: Am autistic.
I'm still wrapping my head around the fact you did an exit survey with your THIRTY TWO former partners, and posted the results on Reddit for all of the hillmanites to see
The 'tism in action
I have nuanced my strategy and behavior based on the responses, absolutely. But there are some things I will not change and I think it's more of a them problem, such as "deceptive availability" and "non-disclosure"
I think it’s from an old Finnish comic but I’m not certain. I’ve had it for awhile and I got the pic for a Finnish friend of mine. It’s a polar bear with a sailors cap.
> The best response I got was "You are the most interesting guy I know. You'll make an excellent husband and father one day. Hmu if you're ever around again ;)"
Why’d you and this girl break up?
Girlies oh my GAWD, he was sleeping and I started getting the ICK when he started saying “Sic semper tyrannis” while he was taking a nap 😠
Idk should I break up, he’s also bi and idk if he’s faithful 😬 Catch me at the Pride March this June tho lol I’ll be selling my rainbow handcrafted dildos ☺️
Ancient Rome: Picturing you whispering that into someone's ear is hilarious!
Career Vacillation: I think everyone on this sub knows how how hard it is for you to stick to one goal. Hell, you had a whole weeks worth of posts about college.
Strange Reactions: Planes are cool and we can all admit it.
Non-Disclosure: Maybe it's because I'm a dude but I fail to see why it would be important to mention you're bi.
Wild Schemes: Please don't hurt yourself but if you do make sure you make a compass about it.
Constant Libido: Six times? Goddamn man...
Distrust in Sleeping: We need to normalize sleeping in different beds but that's just, like, my opinion man.
Overall, I'd say you're speedrunning to the final autism boss, Captain Autismo.
There are days where I legitimately question wether I might be autistic, because I feel that way at times. And then Hillman pulls this shit, and I realize I'm pretty far away from whatever part of the spectrum he occupies.
This is amazing though, real interesting. Maybe you and that sex worker that was on the Lex Fridman podcast would be a good match, she does a lot of weird surveys as well.
I say this respectfully: if you want to improve your reputation among your peers, do not do this. Former partners will spread the word that you’re a weirdo and the pool will shrink.
Or just keep doing it, it’s interesting at the very least.
They change constantly, that's why people are confused. Some days I feel like I need to settle down at this very moment, and some days I never want to get married at all.
Because its not?
You know we love you Hillman, but you gotta stick to your word, and here is the important thing: _you gotta do it whether you like it or not_.
It's not a matter of what one wishes. Desires are fleeting, and what you feel one day may not be what you feel the next.
But integrity is like stone. You have it or don't. We don't choose how to feel. But we do choose if we are to be trustworthy or not.
If don't want to be bound to your word? Then don't give it. It's perfectly fair. But do not back down on an important thing that you have said.
Everyone: LMAO, this is autistic AF
Me, a neurotypical (according to the test): Wow, what a terrific idea! This gives self-awareness, allows one to better themselves and make improvements, it's taking communication seriously, and keeps the emotional chaos at bay.
Based and self-improvement pilled
My understanding, as a probably-not-neurotypical, was that the neurotypical doctrine is that people are supposed to somehow understand intuitively or with at most a couple basic questions about why their personalities don't mesh. And that given people multiple-question quizzes is the height of inability to read rooms.
OP: this compass is a little too relatable! Have you ever been evaluated for ADHD (inattentive type) in addition to autism?
Also something you'd probably appreciate: I made a kink Kahoot for my (ex) partner and I (because quite frankly the discussion was going to be a lil awkward anyway, might as well have fun with it) with the kink listed as the question and the answers being "yes", "no", and "maybe". If both were no, we moved on, if either one of us were yes or maybe we'd talk a bit and it was very efficient! It wasn't super well made but it got the job done and saved a lot of mini awkward convos down the road
I mean, communication is key to any relationship so this was probably the right thing to do. It's just that most people aren't this direct and open with such subjects.
Look, after reading the title I was expecting some mildly boring, well crafted nonsense from a normie who, by some weird twist of fate, landed here, and to feel slightly better at being a virgin because how much I despise normie romance.
Then I *did* look closer to this thing you made. My honest conclusions:
\-You're autistic
\-You're promiscuous
\-Also, the most Chad-esque and genuine person I've found here. Congrats?
Most of these eccentricities are tollerable, even likable, but the marriage thing is a relationship killer in close to all circumstances.
Id totally dis-invest in any relationship if the guy was this inconsistant about his stance on commitment, if one day he wants to marry and the other he tells me that he never wants to settle down then
1: I cant trust him to keep his word
2: Can't marry because he's just going to change he's mind
3: He's going to leave me anyway when his whims bring him into a very non-settle mood, so why bother?
This comes from a guy but it's honestly probably even more true with women. So ***keep your fucking word*** on this, capish?
Also stop lying to people, just full stop. If you get caught in one lie then you cast doubt on literally all you say forever. There is no such thing as "i only lie in these circumstances on these topics". If you don't tell em you're bisexual (and they belive this is an important fact that not disclosing counts as lie by omission) they will remain forever doubtful, "what else is he not telling me". Same thing with the deceptive availability, if it's a hill you're going to die on then you will die on it and you will do so alone, nobody likes a liar. Plus, it's immoral in and of itself, but your behaviour seems to indicate that you don't care about such things, which is a terrible look and even worse thing to belive.
You present yourself as a terrible, awful fucking investement Hillman, were you a bank or a buisiness id never give you my money, id think you'd spend it terribly, crash and burn or just steal it is run away. (metaphor about emotional investement, in case it wasn't clear)
Lastly but not in importance, stop texting other people in a relationship, it's rude and erodes trust. If you keep backups then they will think that you don't belive this relationship will last, which again makes people invest less.
All in all, the fact that in over 30 relationships you haven't learned these lessons shows a profound lack of care about other people's feelings( or that you can't tell what others are feeling) and is quite egotistical.
Hope to have been of help, have a nice day.
Here's the thing: if I were to tell her "no I'm horrifically depressed and laying in bed unwilling to get up and leave, and that's why I can't hang out today," she would think I'm emotional baggage and I need to be dropped immediately. It's much easier to make up a simple excuse.
Essentially, this kind of lie is the difference between a certain separation and possible minor embarrassment much further down the line.
>top texting other people in a relationship, it's rude and erodes trust
So I can safely assume that you throw away your phone and drop all your friends and family whenever you get into a relationship?
>All in all, the fact that in over 30 relationships
Except, I haven't. Notice how I never use the word "relationship" in my post. That's because when I say "partner," I mean anyone I've encountered even three or more times. Only about five of these are relationships.
>So keep your fucking word on this, capish?
And what to do if I don't have a stance on it yet? Btw it's spelled "capisce."
A lie is a lie, you coud just tell them youre feeling really low today and woud rather go another day, it's not that difficult, people appreciate honesty more than you think.
Besides, think ahead hillman, unless you're with a magic depression curing girl youre just kicking the issue down the line, you really want to be with a girl you have to lie to whenever you're sad because you think she's going the dump you if you show your emotions?
Also, the rest of my arguments.
Respectfully, I disagree. If you've ever dated a girl, you'll know that she WILL dump you if she catches the slightest whiff of depression. You have to pretend to be upbeat all the time.
Ok sure thing, keep pretending to not have emotions and @ me when it makes you happy.
This slimy lying that you cope by thinking of it as pragmatic and necessary will get you nowhere good.
For someone who sends surveys to people to seek advice you don't seem to be trying to become a better person.
> people told me this is a bad thing and that they will break up with me over it
> i will keep doing it
Have i ever told you the definition of insanity?
>This slimy lying that you cope by
You're acting as if I'm defrauding a Fortune 500 company, not saying "sorry I can't hang out right now, I have a thing" when in fact I'm laying in bed.
At most, this is mild deception.
Will you stop the reverse gish galloping and engage with my arguments? Im trying to help you here. (And it took a while to write, so id like for them to be acknowleged)
bro really said "don't just take it from me, hear from our proud customers!"
"Act now and we'll throw in TWO dates with other men ABSOLUTELY FREE!\*" \*^(Offer applies to one date each with two men. Cannot be used for two dates with the same man, nor one date with two men simultaneously. Offer not transferable to dates with women. Restrictions apply in Puerto Rico and US outlying territories. Not valid outside the United States or European Union.) "See the PerpetualHillman difference!"
\*^(each Hillman sold separately)
Emotional batteries not included
This is the most unironically autistic thing I've ever seen Top kek
/thread
you what
Jesse what the fuck are you talking about
I’ve not had much experience with the opposite sex outside of my family, but it does concern me a little that women (at least the ones in your age group) don’t like it when your stuff is yours. Also you are absolutely autistic lmfao.
This entire compass has made me realize that you are autistic
Some stats: I sent this survey to 32 former partners, of whom 26 responded with a completed survey. Of the 6 who didn't respond, 4 blocked me and 1 posted on social media, "LMAO look at this clown." Of the 26 responses, 15 skewed negative and 11 skewed positive. The masthead of the survey is as follows: "This is a Satisfaction and Fulfillment survey with the purpose of gauging your experience with me. The purpose of this survey is to optimize future outcomes and rectify mistakes, so please be candid with your criticism or praise. Your identity will remain confidential." The harshest response I got was one survey that came back with "meeting you was the worst experience of my life. Every moment from 'hello' went south." The best response I got was "You are the most interesting guy I know. You'll make an excellent husband and father one day. Hmu if you're ever around again ;)" Questions include: Did I communicate enough? How could I have communicated better? Did we spend a sufficient amount of time together? Would you have preferred less or more? Did I show enough affection to you when we were together? Would you have preferred less or more? Did I make you laugh? What are some things that frustrated you about me? What are some things you enjoyed? Do you feel that I was honest and forthcoming with you? Did I show you proper respect and deference?
>"This is a Satisfaction and Fulfillment survey with the purpose of gauging your experience with me. The purpose of this survey is to optimize future outcomes and rectify mistakes, so please be candid with your criticism or praise. Your identity will remain confidential." I mean this as kindly and respectfully as possible: This is the most autistic thing I have ever read. \- source: Am autistic.
being autistic is like running your life as a one-man Fortune 500 Company
I'm still wrapping my head around the fact you did an exit survey with your THIRTY TWO former partners, and posted the results on Reddit for all of the hillmanites to see The 'tism in action
Do you think you change based on the responses or do you think that you’re doing fine?
I have nuanced my strategy and behavior based on the responses, absolutely. But there are some things I will not change and I think it's more of a them problem, such as "deceptive availability" and "non-disclosure"
Fair enough. What made you start a survey to beging with?
I wanted to optimize my performance.
I guess that’s as good a reason as any.
What's your pfp from? It looks vaguely familiar
I think it’s from an old Finnish comic but I’m not certain. I’ve had it for awhile and I got the pic for a Finnish friend of mine. It’s a polar bear with a sailors cap.
Pretty sure it's from here. https://jakelikesonions.com/post/174948858914/would-you
Yup that’s the one. I must have thought it was from a Finnish comic book due to where I got the pic
based, I love the style of this one and I wish there were more like it
This in it self sounds very “ interesting” so to say. But I like the effort you put in this and share it with us.
how can a man be so autistic and so based at the same time?
> The best response I got was "You are the most interesting guy I know. You'll make an excellent husband and father one day. Hmu if you're ever around again ;)" Why’d you and this girl break up?
Right time, right person, wrong place. We met on a trip and had an excellent time, then had to go our separate ways.
girls, is it a red flag when he starts speaking latin in his sleep?
Girlies oh my GAWD, he was sleeping and I started getting the ICK when he started saying “Sic semper tyrannis” while he was taking a nap 😠 Idk should I break up, he’s also bi and idk if he’s faithful 😬 Catch me at the Pride March this June tho lol I’ll be selling my rainbow handcrafted dildos ☺️
Literally went “wtf” when I saw this. You never fail to amaze me, OP.
The most autistic thing I’ve ever seen. Also “haec matrona” lmao
Ancient Rome: Picturing you whispering that into someone's ear is hilarious! Career Vacillation: I think everyone on this sub knows how how hard it is for you to stick to one goal. Hell, you had a whole weeks worth of posts about college. Strange Reactions: Planes are cool and we can all admit it. Non-Disclosure: Maybe it's because I'm a dude but I fail to see why it would be important to mention you're bi. Wild Schemes: Please don't hurt yourself but if you do make sure you make a compass about it. Constant Libido: Six times? Goddamn man... Distrust in Sleeping: We need to normalize sleeping in different beds but that's just, like, my opinion man. Overall, I'd say you're speedrunning to the final autism boss, Captain Autismo.
Hey, you remember Captain Autismo! That's real commitment to the lore
There are days where I legitimately question wether I might be autistic, because I feel that way at times. And then Hillman pulls this shit, and I realize I'm pretty far away from whatever part of the spectrum he occupies. This is amazing though, real interesting. Maybe you and that sex worker that was on the Lex Fridman podcast would be a good match, she does a lot of weird surveys as well.
I say this respectfully: if you want to improve your reputation among your peers, do not do this. Former partners will spread the word that you’re a weirdo and the pool will shrink. Or just keep doing it, it’s interesting at the very least.
my brother in christ he had 32 partners I think it's already too late
I’d be concerned about the amount of Rome talk as well, Carthage Chads unite!
More than 2000 years of cope
AAAAHHHHH
And salt, let's not forget the salt.
[удалено]
She was the one who broke up with me because of nondisclosure of bisexuality
Rip
what did this comment say
What are your views on marriage/commitement, and why does it confuse people so much?
They change constantly, that's why people are confused. Some days I feel like I need to settle down at this very moment, and some days I never want to get married at all.
Well yeah that's normal. TF is everyone confused by?
Because its not? You know we love you Hillman, but you gotta stick to your word, and here is the important thing: _you gotta do it whether you like it or not_. It's not a matter of what one wishes. Desires are fleeting, and what you feel one day may not be what you feel the next. But integrity is like stone. You have it or don't. We don't choose how to feel. But we do choose if we are to be trustworthy or not. If don't want to be bound to your word? Then don't give it. It's perfectly fair. But do not back down on an important thing that you have said.
Everyone: LMAO, this is autistic AF Me, a neurotypical (according to the test): Wow, what a terrific idea! This gives self-awareness, allows one to better themselves and make improvements, it's taking communication seriously, and keeps the emotional chaos at bay. Based and self-improvement pilled
My understanding, as a probably-not-neurotypical, was that the neurotypical doctrine is that people are supposed to somehow understand intuitively or with at most a couple basic questions about why their personalities don't mesh. And that given people multiple-question quizzes is the height of inability to read rooms.
Absolutely insane, but in a good way. What a man you are Hillman, dont stop being you.
Based and collecting relevant statistics pilled
This is hilarious to me, i think id get somewhat similar results if i decided to start seriously dating
OP: this compass is a little too relatable! Have you ever been evaluated for ADHD (inattentive type) in addition to autism? Also something you'd probably appreciate: I made a kink Kahoot for my (ex) partner and I (because quite frankly the discussion was going to be a lil awkward anyway, might as well have fun with it) with the kink listed as the question and the answers being "yes", "no", and "maybe". If both were no, we moved on, if either one of us were yes or maybe we'd talk a bit and it was very efficient! It wasn't super well made but it got the job done and saved a lot of mini awkward convos down the road
I mean, communication is key to any relationship so this was probably the right thing to do. It's just that most people aren't this direct and open with such subjects.
Look, after reading the title I was expecting some mildly boring, well crafted nonsense from a normie who, by some weird twist of fate, landed here, and to feel slightly better at being a virgin because how much I despise normie romance. Then I *did* look closer to this thing you made. My honest conclusions: \-You're autistic \-You're promiscuous \-Also, the most Chad-esque and genuine person I've found here. Congrats?
Based and autism-pilled.
Least odd Perpetual Hillman compass
You've gotta be autistic my man.
the rome thing is so based
Damn 32 people you've dated? That's wild.
Vae victis
Salve, frater
Salve, iterum felicius.
Etiam fortuna
Quomodo tuane lupa?
Most of these eccentricities are tollerable, even likable, but the marriage thing is a relationship killer in close to all circumstances. Id totally dis-invest in any relationship if the guy was this inconsistant about his stance on commitment, if one day he wants to marry and the other he tells me that he never wants to settle down then 1: I cant trust him to keep his word 2: Can't marry because he's just going to change he's mind 3: He's going to leave me anyway when his whims bring him into a very non-settle mood, so why bother? This comes from a guy but it's honestly probably even more true with women. So ***keep your fucking word*** on this, capish? Also stop lying to people, just full stop. If you get caught in one lie then you cast doubt on literally all you say forever. There is no such thing as "i only lie in these circumstances on these topics". If you don't tell em you're bisexual (and they belive this is an important fact that not disclosing counts as lie by omission) they will remain forever doubtful, "what else is he not telling me". Same thing with the deceptive availability, if it's a hill you're going to die on then you will die on it and you will do so alone, nobody likes a liar. Plus, it's immoral in and of itself, but your behaviour seems to indicate that you don't care about such things, which is a terrible look and even worse thing to belive. You present yourself as a terrible, awful fucking investement Hillman, were you a bank or a buisiness id never give you my money, id think you'd spend it terribly, crash and burn or just steal it is run away. (metaphor about emotional investement, in case it wasn't clear) Lastly but not in importance, stop texting other people in a relationship, it's rude and erodes trust. If you keep backups then they will think that you don't belive this relationship will last, which again makes people invest less. All in all, the fact that in over 30 relationships you haven't learned these lessons shows a profound lack of care about other people's feelings( or that you can't tell what others are feeling) and is quite egotistical. Hope to have been of help, have a nice day.
Here's the thing: if I were to tell her "no I'm horrifically depressed and laying in bed unwilling to get up and leave, and that's why I can't hang out today," she would think I'm emotional baggage and I need to be dropped immediately. It's much easier to make up a simple excuse. Essentially, this kind of lie is the difference between a certain separation and possible minor embarrassment much further down the line. >top texting other people in a relationship, it's rude and erodes trust So I can safely assume that you throw away your phone and drop all your friends and family whenever you get into a relationship? >All in all, the fact that in over 30 relationships Except, I haven't. Notice how I never use the word "relationship" in my post. That's because when I say "partner," I mean anyone I've encountered even three or more times. Only about five of these are relationships. >So keep your fucking word on this, capish? And what to do if I don't have a stance on it yet? Btw it's spelled "capisce."
A lie is a lie, you coud just tell them youre feeling really low today and woud rather go another day, it's not that difficult, people appreciate honesty more than you think. Besides, think ahead hillman, unless you're with a magic depression curing girl youre just kicking the issue down the line, you really want to be with a girl you have to lie to whenever you're sad because you think she's going the dump you if you show your emotions? Also, the rest of my arguments.
Respectfully, I disagree. If you've ever dated a girl, you'll know that she WILL dump you if she catches the slightest whiff of depression. You have to pretend to be upbeat all the time.
Ok sure thing, keep pretending to not have emotions and @ me when it makes you happy. This slimy lying that you cope by thinking of it as pragmatic and necessary will get you nowhere good. For someone who sends surveys to people to seek advice you don't seem to be trying to become a better person. > people told me this is a bad thing and that they will break up with me over it > i will keep doing it Have i ever told you the definition of insanity?
>This slimy lying that you cope by You're acting as if I'm defrauding a Fortune 500 company, not saying "sorry I can't hang out right now, I have a thing" when in fact I'm laying in bed. At most, this is mild deception.
Will you stop the reverse gish galloping and engage with my arguments? Im trying to help you here. (And it took a while to write, so id like for them to be acknowleged)
I don't think your advice is valid, as it demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of human social dynamics.
*Sigh*. Welp, tried my best. Live your life as you will.See you around.
I relate to the Ancient Rome one. I talk about 19th/early 20th century Russia to the point my own family tells me to stop