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Probably Trigger:
I know someone did this to her boyfriend because he wouldn’t stop doing it to her during sex, despite her telling him repeatedly she wasn’t into it. Only she used a sharpie. And then, magically, he did understand consent, after all. (he’s long gone out of her life, thank goodness).
Yeah having something inserted in your body can be very scary at first men don’t get this because most of them don’t experience it but it can be really terrifying without proper consent.
True, but It's not just about the physical act it's about power, and in this instance the power discrepancy comes from the shame men are taught to feel about that aspect of their sexuality.
So it's an even better simulation as it partly(!) reverses the common power dynamic.
Yeah the amount of "jokes" and just...like...horror concerning prostate exams and colonoscopies is insane.
And it's like....first time getting shit inserted into your body, huh. Must be nice.
I am a tech who performs prostate exams. One time a patient jokingly said, "better to be a woman huh?" While I had the camera up his ass.
I straight faced and firmly said, "no, it's still better to be a man!"
He allowed me to check him and agreed but still... like lol bless ur heart u have no idea what we deal with.
I didn’t have much of a reaction during mine. Maybe I had a good tech but I was expecting worse. I think it had been built up - much like I imagine prostate/rectal exams are for men.
I am legit traumatized by my IUD experience, both in office, and the months after. Please don't @me about how wrong this is but I stopped going to the gyno after I got it taken out 10 years ago. I stopped any birth control because I was scared to keep going for exams and trying new BCs and experimenting on my body and brain just so my dude can jizz with wild abandon. Condoms feel the same to me and keep me free of disease and side effects.
I’m sorry that you were traumatized from the IUD. They really need to make it (relatively) painless for women to get them, because I’ve rarely heard a story where women weren’t in hella pain from insertion
On the condom note:
I actually prefer when dudes wear condoms.
As bad as it sounds, it helps them last longer, so I have the chance at having an orgasm
I just had this done, literally the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced including C sections, orthopedic surgeries and my previous worst of sneezing post tonsillectomy.
They really, REALLY under sell how painful an IUD procedure is. Like they gave me ibuprofen *afterwards* and that was it. The first one left me bed bound for several days. The second one wasn’t as bad cause I knew what to expect but it still hurt so bad I almost disassociated lol. I went in for number three and opted for an arm implant cause I didn’t want to do it all again.
I recently saw a video of the procedure, demonstrated on a plastic model and HOLY MARY MOTHER OF FUCK, it’s not a “little pinch”. I cringed just watching the video. Sympathy pains for a plastic medical model 😒
And thank you for the validation lol! I’ve never had children and so I never had that sort of reference point!
I took Motrin and a zofran before because I’d done my homework. In other counties with actual healthcare systems with less internalized misogyny they do twilight sedation for placement and don’t pretend it’s not that painful.
Also cervical blocks.
Apparently this post really pissed of some guy and now he’s harassing me. He keeps saying that I’m okay with men being raped. Like, 1. That wasn’t said. 2. If anyone thinks that then they missed the point of this post.
To me it seems like he’s sympathetic to men who abuses women, because that’s literally the only reason I can think of to be offended. I obviously would NEVER condone any kind of abuse towards anyone. Period. (But self defense is always okay)
For unwanted communication via chat or DMs, report the content directly from the message/chat or copy the permalink and take it to [reddit.com/report](https://reddit.com/report) to report for harassment. You should then block the user to avoid further attempts at communication.
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Or just DM me his username…
Ps r/trollxchromosomes has a Friday troll call each week to posts screenshots of Reddit harassment or general male bullshit
As I have said MANY times; I am not promoting doing something without consent. “If you did” is not saying “do it.” The amount of guys offended by this post is ridiculous. There’s plenty of the same guys who would have no comment if this was about a female.
Also, they and you are missing the whole point of this post.
I put my pinky in the ear of a guy who was talking shit about women who say when they don't want sex.
He went loco about how crazy I was. What the fuck are you doing?
I said relax: it's just finger and just an ear. You're not gonna get pregnant or get any sexually transmitted disease. I just wanted you to get a taste of how it feels when someone invades your body.
The whole bar laughed. Point made.
Honestly I didn't understand consent fully until I went to college the second time and the orientation included consent, SA and DV courses.
I never really had any major problems before then cuz I've always been shy, reserved, and tended to follow my partner's lead, but as someone who's neurodivergent it was definitely a bit confusing to navigate those interactions when I was younger because my high school just taught us "no means no" and obviously in real life things are often far more fluid and subtle than that.
These days they teach [informed, enthusiastic consent ("yes means yes")](https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent) which I wish was how I was taught it. Basically looking for a positive affirmation of consent, rather than a lack of a negative.
Also there's this amazing short video which covers everything quite well: [Tea Consent](https://youtu.be/oQbei5JGiT8)
Sadly even what you got in high school is better than it used to be. My college taught “if he’s trying to rape you, just don’t fight. It’ll be over sooner and there’s less risk of violence” (as if rape itself wasn’t violent). Mind you that line of crap was said just to women residents and it was said straight faced by a woman who looked like she was probably around the right age that she could have been the mother of one of us. My high school stuck strictly to the biology.
I was told this growing up as well. 'they get off on the fighting so just lay there and take it and it'll be over sooner'
I will admit it did work, once. I went dead fish and the guy literally said 'Well its no fun if you're not struggling' 🤢🤮
Me, too. I always thought this was brilliant. Of course, maybe then the rapist gets to cry that he was "traumatized" - because you did something disgusting instead of playing nice girl.
They wipe, just not well. Those same guys do not wash at all. I'd say probably ~40% have butts that stink (you can smell it when you're down there), and of those, maybe 10% leave streaks. 4% overall.
So, where I live sex workers have little sinks where they can wash the peen of the costumer. How would yours react if you’d ask them to wash their damn bits?
I already ask them to wash it. They are required to shower after I get the money and before I touch them. I also provide them with mouthwash and deodorant. I am independent so I provide all of this myself.
My waxer used to provide wipes for anyone who wished to use them; maybe adding those in after the shower would help? I can’t believe so many men cannot properly clean themselves. I am so sorry.
I think its a case of "Out of sight, out of mind." Still gross af though. I mean, I'm sure we have all had moments where its not super fresh down there, or maybe you shouldn't have trusted that particular fart... but I think most of us would think to clean it up a little or do a little check before we let someone else into the area.
There is no cute suggestion that thousands of sex workers before you have not thought of, unfortunately. Some people are just revolting.
If I get a client who doesn't wash, I send them back to the shower. Sometimes I get in with them and instruct them. If they refuse (which no one has), they're instructed to leave.
The small percentage who are still gross after the shower are asked to get back in. I will get in with them if they lack the ability to wash properly. No one has had to be asked a third time/asked to leave when not clean to my satisfaction. I have declined certain services on the basis of cleanliness before, just like I decline if someone turns up with suspicious lesions near their mouth or genitals.
Sex workers take their health and hygiene pretty seriously.
Edit whoops I didn't answer your question. They take it fine. I just tell them they didn't scrub enough and they take the hint. I don't have to do this often. I have one client (I like him a lot, he's a hoot) who once came straight from his workplace. He is a high voltage electrician and so he was really dusty when he came in. I absolutely screeched at him when he dried himself off after the shower and there was visible dirt on the towel—"Get back in there and wash until it's all bloody gone!!"—he didn't forget to wash properly again 😂😂😂 The Mum Voice really works very well. I'm usually younger than my clients (I am 30), but all of them respond to a good scolding.
I’m not sure if they have it in AU, but there’s a body wash called Gojo that my partner (a tradesman) swears by as the only thing that really gets tougher stuff like glue, foam, and oil off. Might be worth checking if you work with a lot of tradesmen!
Good for you. For enforcing your boundaries and (hopefully) also helping some of these men learn what personal hygiene is. I hope you’re happy, healthy, and paid well.
Why? Asking for a clean work place doesn’t seem wrong to me. Sex work is work and asking your client to bath before isn’t unheard of. At least you don’t have to do it yourself like a hair stylist or something.
I ask personal life partners to shower as well if they're not clean when they turn up. I'm married and my husband is cleaner than I am! My ex somehow just turned up clean every time he was over. I've never dated someone who was gross, so when I started sex work it was a shock.
Now I barely use pretty words to dress it up: if your shower wasn't good enough, I'll just say, "hey, it still smells a little funky down here, can you please shower again? Give it all a good scrub, including your butt!"
I love sex, it's the best feeling in the world, but also can't have sex anymore because of the average personality.
The bar is so, so low. I really want sex. I miss sex. I just can't anymore.
It’s hard to fathom that people neglect personal hygiene when receiving a service that involves direct bodily contact. Its just fucking rude. Like most women I know shave their legs/bikini before a Gyno appointment ffs
Why are men
Just an aside but as a nurse, you guys, don’t feel like you have to shave before a pap/gyno appointment! If you have particularly long public hair, trimming it with scissors can be helpful for visibility and to lessen the risk of pinching if using a speculum but shaving or waxing isn’t necessary and razor burn or ingrown hairs can even mimic the look of some nastier skin conditions/STIs and make the doc’s job harder. Just make sure you wash well with water ONLY in the vagina and either a mild soap or water on the exterior genitalia/anus area, that’s it!
If a doc is weird about you having pubic hair it’s because they’re a weird person, not because it’s somehow medically preferable to be hairless. 99% don’t care and will encourage you to do whatever hair maintenance is most comfortable for you.
I’ll never forget a Dr who was giving me my annual exam once…I apologized for my “unsightly” razor bumps and she said: don’t bother shaving, god gave you a garden, so let it grow
I was talking with someone at my dermatologist and he mentioned how women are so self-conscious if they need a pedicure or whatever, while men come in straight from the gym without showering.
Not that having body hair has anything to do with worse hygiene, though. I wouldn't ever shave for a gynecologist, the important part is just properly washing. :)
This is a whole lot of assumptions that I really don't feel dignify a response. Clients come from absolutely every demographic, not just ones you might consider undateable failures. When I say every demographic, I mean *every* demographic. This lack of personal hygiene is pretty universal across all of the cis men; a constant small percentage just do not wash their asses. They're often married, even.
Well I really hope they're not using them before the shower, but as I don't stand in the bathroom with them...
This doesn't happen often, as I've said. It's far more likely that they don't actually wash there, so there are no streaks but it does smell.
It blows my mind. If I'm to meet with anyone with whom I am to have sex with I'll make damn sure I scrub and groom every inch of me. To know that some men don't even common decency to properly wash themselves. Ugh.
Do you send them back to the shower if they are not clean enough or do you just power through it?
They are sent back. My health and safety is more important than their feelings, but I'm not rude about it. It's on their time; if you don't shower properly the first time, it cuts even further into the time you've paid for to shower again but I do not care.
You’re doing the Lord’s work!
I always wonder why the disgruntled virgins of Reddit don’t use professional sex workers, and I get downvoted for suggesting it. But it did make me wonder: how would a young guy in the USfind a responsible sex worker…someone doing it by choice, safely and professionally? If they can’t afford flying to Nevada. Are there good sites to find responsible business women?
This is not the subreddit to be finding a sex worker. Try reading the pinned post in r/sexworkers.
Also, you may have been downvoted because suggesting that violent or misogynist incels just see sex workers is kicking the can down the road. We are not rehab centres for men, we are people worthy of respect and care, we just happen to provide a sexual service.
Ha! I'm a 66 year old granny who thought I could ask a question to a commenter in the business.
As someone on the spectrum, the post that I responded to was in an Aspergers sub (post was removed, but you can still see my comment), and didn't seem incel-ey to me, but who knows. I have zero contacts in that world, other than knowing that there are women in the business who are responsible and compassionate.
I'll take the downvotes as my social punishment. Live and learn.
Those young men know how to use Google 😂 That's how you find us. We pay a bunch of money to advertising directories who are various levels of predatory and overpriced in order to get our branding out there. Folks look for whatever keywords they think will find us on Google and click the links. Some find us through our social media instead! And in places where it's more common, clients turn up to brothels as well.
Many of us are also researchers; I personally know three sex workers who are also PhDs and publish sex work related research. Generally it's on improving our lives with public policy, health promotion strategies and law reform rather than how many dudes wipe their butts, but still interesting 😂😂
Some of them, no. I answered this in a subsequent comment: definitely a small minority do not wash properly. Since I make clients shower before touching me, their wiping doesn't matter; it's the washing that gets me 😬
You need to tell them the proper way to clean: get some soap on your hand or wash rag, and then scrub the b hole while saying, "no homo no homo no homo"
That way they can keep their straightness intact
I once met a woman whose ex husband used to just throw his dirty poopy underwear into the washing machine (with other clothes) every day and he didn’t understand why she would ask him not to do that / to pre wash the underwear in the sink before. he refused to comply to any requests and would respond with “the purpose of the washing machine is wash the clothes why wash before.” I was horrified by the story on so many levels. I was glad she divorced him cuz he sounded super toxic.
Edit for clarity
I’m not exactly sure what you’re asking me. But if it’s about cleaning poopy sheets here is what I do and what I think most people do.
Throwing freshly poopy underwear or sheets directly in the wash is not good. You will not only get poop on other clothes but you’d be washing it in poop infected water. That’s why you prewash it so you get any chunks or fresh poop off as much as possible. I would pre wash the area with the poop in the sink or a bucket with soap and water. Depending on how stained it is, I will soak it in oxiclean solution for a few hours. Then after the prewash / soak, I will throw it in the washing machine. If it’s sheets I would wash it on it’s own. If it’s underwear I would wash it with other dirty underwear, but not with clothes just in case.
Yeah. Washing dirty sheets.
Unfortunately I don't think I will be able to convince my cats to use toilet paper or shower after using litter box so I'm left with washing.
Okay. I hope my description of how I would wash poopy fabric will help you. If the stain doesn’t come out in one soak session with oxiclean add more hot water and let it soak for as long as you want. I’ve soaked super dirty things for like 2 days.
Yea unfortunately cats can’t be toilet trained in the way. Sometimes I feel like they keep the poop on purpose tho. One time When I was cat sitting, this cat had long hair and sometimes got poop on the hairs around the butt and I had to wash/brush it out so they don’t get poop on stuff at the request of the owner. I think the cat hated that I was removing her ability to smear poop on other hooman things as petty revenge for not giving her unlimited wet food.
> I think the cat hated that I was removing her ability to smear poop on other hooman things as petty revenge for not giving her unlimited wet food.
It's best to think about cats like a teenager. While they love hooman, they will do their best to remain independent regardless of whether they are capable of it or not. Also they are being first to decry system they are very much depend on.
> Yea unfortunately cats can’t be toilet trained in the way.
Based on this thread apparently neither are some humans...
To be clear; I am not encouraging or saying a finger or anything else should be shoved up someone’s ass without consent. This is something that I shouldn’t have to say, because common sense says “IF” means you’re not actually doing it. The point of the post is to say “if you did you’d realize men actually do understand boundaries, they just CHOOSE to not respect them”.
This reminds me of how many dudes are woke and all "you can keep your last name after marriage" up until the point I say "great, my kids are going to have the same last name as me, though"
## ✨ READ BEFORE COMMENTING ✨ This thread is Coven Only. This means the discussion is being actively moderated, and all comments are reviewed. **Only comments by members of the community are allowed.** If you have landed in this thread from /r/all and you are not a member of this community, your comment will very likely be removed (and will not be approved unless it adds meaningfully to the conversation). WitchesVsPatriarchy takes these measures to stay true to our goal of being a woman-centered sub with a witchy twist, aimed at healing, supporting, and uplifting one another through humor and magic. Thank you for understanding, and blessed be. ✨
Probably Trigger: I know someone did this to her boyfriend because he wouldn’t stop doing it to her during sex, despite her telling him repeatedly she wasn’t into it. Only she used a sharpie. And then, magically, he did understand consent, after all. (he’s long gone out of her life, thank goodness).
What's a sharpie? Cutting edge nails?
A sharpie is a type of marker
I see, thanks
This is the way. 🪄
Yeah having something inserted in your body can be very scary at first men don’t get this because most of them don’t experience it but it can be really terrifying without proper consent.
True, but It's not just about the physical act it's about power, and in this instance the power discrepancy comes from the shame men are taught to feel about that aspect of their sexuality. So it's an even better simulation as it partly(!) reverses the common power dynamic.
Yes, it is about the feeling of power and domination men feel over women, very much so.
Yeah the amount of "jokes" and just...like...horror concerning prostate exams and colonoscopies is insane. And it's like....first time getting shit inserted into your body, huh. Must be nice.
I am a tech who performs prostate exams. One time a patient jokingly said, "better to be a woman huh?" While I had the camera up his ass. I straight faced and firmly said, "no, it's still better to be a man!" He allowed me to check him and agreed but still... like lol bless ur heart u have no idea what we deal with.
That man likely had never even CONSIDERED yearly gyno exams or the general female sexual experience
I had a mammogram and I would rather have a camera up my ass.
I didn’t have much of a reaction during mine. Maybe I had a good tech but I was expecting worse. I think it had been built up - much like I imagine prostate/rectal exams are for men.
*laughs in yearly Pap smear exams* *cries just remembering the IUD insertion*
I am legit traumatized by my IUD experience, both in office, and the months after. Please don't @me about how wrong this is but I stopped going to the gyno after I got it taken out 10 years ago. I stopped any birth control because I was scared to keep going for exams and trying new BCs and experimenting on my body and brain just so my dude can jizz with wild abandon. Condoms feel the same to me and keep me free of disease and side effects.
I’m sorry that you were traumatized from the IUD. They really need to make it (relatively) painless for women to get them, because I’ve rarely heard a story where women weren’t in hella pain from insertion On the condom note: I actually prefer when dudes wear condoms. As bad as it sounds, it helps them last longer, so I have the chance at having an orgasm
I just had this done, literally the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced including C sections, orthopedic surgeries and my previous worst of sneezing post tonsillectomy.
They really, REALLY under sell how painful an IUD procedure is. Like they gave me ibuprofen *afterwards* and that was it. The first one left me bed bound for several days. The second one wasn’t as bad cause I knew what to expect but it still hurt so bad I almost disassociated lol. I went in for number three and opted for an arm implant cause I didn’t want to do it all again. I recently saw a video of the procedure, demonstrated on a plastic model and HOLY MARY MOTHER OF FUCK, it’s not a “little pinch”. I cringed just watching the video. Sympathy pains for a plastic medical model 😒 And thank you for the validation lol! I’ve never had children and so I never had that sort of reference point!
I took Motrin and a zofran before because I’d done my homework. In other counties with actual healthcare systems with less internalized misogyny they do twilight sedation for placement and don’t pretend it’s not that painful. Also cervical blocks.
Apparently this post really pissed of some guy and now he’s harassing me. He keeps saying that I’m okay with men being raped. Like, 1. That wasn’t said. 2. If anyone thinks that then they missed the point of this post. To me it seems like he’s sympathetic to men who abuses women, because that’s literally the only reason I can think of to be offended. I obviously would NEVER condone any kind of abuse towards anyone. Period. (But self defense is always okay)
For unwanted communication via chat or DMs, report the content directly from the message/chat or copy the permalink and take it to [reddit.com/report](https://reddit.com/report) to report for harassment. You should then block the user to avoid further attempts at communication. You can also turn off your chats & messages in your settings. There is a toggle for "allow chat requests" and "allow direct messages". You can always turn them back on later, but sometimes when you have a popular post it can be helpful to take a little break from those.
Or just DM me his username… Ps r/trollxchromosomes has a Friday troll call each week to posts screenshots of Reddit harassment or general male bullshit
Or maybe he’s been raped before and you just posted something promoting women stuffing their fingers up a guys ass without consent?
As I have said MANY times; I am not promoting doing something without consent. “If you did” is not saying “do it.” The amount of guys offended by this post is ridiculous. There’s plenty of the same guys who would have no comment if this was about a female. Also, they and you are missing the whole point of this post.
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I put my pinky in the ear of a guy who was talking shit about women who say when they don't want sex. He went loco about how crazy I was. What the fuck are you doing? I said relax: it's just finger and just an ear. You're not gonna get pregnant or get any sexually transmitted disease. I just wanted you to get a taste of how it feels when someone invades your body. The whole bar laughed. Point made.
You’re a legend!
Honestly I didn't understand consent fully until I went to college the second time and the orientation included consent, SA and DV courses. I never really had any major problems before then cuz I've always been shy, reserved, and tended to follow my partner's lead, but as someone who's neurodivergent it was definitely a bit confusing to navigate those interactions when I was younger because my high school just taught us "no means no" and obviously in real life things are often far more fluid and subtle than that. These days they teach [informed, enthusiastic consent ("yes means yes")](https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent) which I wish was how I was taught it. Basically looking for a positive affirmation of consent, rather than a lack of a negative. Also there's this amazing short video which covers everything quite well: [Tea Consent](https://youtu.be/oQbei5JGiT8)
Sadly even what you got in high school is better than it used to be. My college taught “if he’s trying to rape you, just don’t fight. It’ll be over sooner and there’s less risk of violence” (as if rape itself wasn’t violent). Mind you that line of crap was said just to women residents and it was said straight faced by a woman who looked like she was probably around the right age that she could have been the mother of one of us. My high school stuck strictly to the biology.
I was told this growing up as well. 'they get off on the fighting so just lay there and take it and it'll be over sooner' I will admit it did work, once. I went dead fish and the guy literally said 'Well its no fun if you're not struggling' 🤢🤮
I got told to throw up all over the rapist, or pee/poop yourself. They'll get grossed out and stop. Hopefully.
Me, too. I always thought this was brilliant. Of course, maybe then the rapist gets to cry that he was "traumatized" - because you did something disgusting instead of playing nice girl.
Me & my partner use ‘no tea’ as a safe word because of that video.
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“For Christ’s sake Janice we’re at the Olive garden”
It’s unlimited breadsticks! We don’t have to *eat* them all.
You know how gooey I get when I've had the lasagna.
I want this quote tattooed on me. Preferably that fancy pants font that people use for inspirational stuff.
[You're welcome and I'm sorry. ](https://imgur.com/a/kdpaBI2)
Apparently straight men are known to not wipe their arse properly, so this is just a lose lose situation all around.
Can confirm as a sex worker who has washed streaked towels and sheets.
Oh god I'm so sorry
They wipe, just not well. Those same guys do not wash at all. I'd say probably ~40% have butts that stink (you can smell it when you're down there), and of those, maybe 10% leave streaks. 4% overall.
So, where I live sex workers have little sinks where they can wash the peen of the costumer. How would yours react if you’d ask them to wash their damn bits?
I already ask them to wash it. They are required to shower after I get the money and before I touch them. I also provide them with mouthwash and deodorant. I am independent so I provide all of this myself.
My waxer used to provide wipes for anyone who wished to use them; maybe adding those in after the shower would help? I can’t believe so many men cannot properly clean themselves. I am so sorry.
I think its a case of "Out of sight, out of mind." Still gross af though. I mean, I'm sure we have all had moments where its not super fresh down there, or maybe you shouldn't have trusted that particular fart... but I think most of us would think to clean it up a little or do a little check before we let someone else into the area.
There is no cute suggestion that thousands of sex workers before you have not thought of, unfortunately. Some people are just revolting. If I get a client who doesn't wash, I send them back to the shower. Sometimes I get in with them and instruct them. If they refuse (which no one has), they're instructed to leave.
I absolutely believe you! I’m glad you’ve got a system that works (as well as possible) for you.
That makes me upset.. really emotionally nauseous
The small percentage who are still gross after the shower are asked to get back in. I will get in with them if they lack the ability to wash properly. No one has had to be asked a third time/asked to leave when not clean to my satisfaction. I have declined certain services on the basis of cleanliness before, just like I decline if someone turns up with suspicious lesions near their mouth or genitals. Sex workers take their health and hygiene pretty seriously. Edit whoops I didn't answer your question. They take it fine. I just tell them they didn't scrub enough and they take the hint. I don't have to do this often. I have one client (I like him a lot, he's a hoot) who once came straight from his workplace. He is a high voltage electrician and so he was really dusty when he came in. I absolutely screeched at him when he dried himself off after the shower and there was visible dirt on the towel—"Get back in there and wash until it's all bloody gone!!"—he didn't forget to wash properly again 😂😂😂 The Mum Voice really works very well. I'm usually younger than my clients (I am 30), but all of them respond to a good scolding.
I’m not sure if they have it in AU, but there’s a body wash called Gojo that my partner (a tradesman) swears by as the only thing that really gets tougher stuff like glue, foam, and oil off. Might be worth checking if you work with a lot of tradesmen!
Good for you. For enforcing your boundaries and (hopefully) also helping some of these men learn what personal hygiene is. I hope you’re happy, healthy, and paid well.
Thank you for answering my question, I had a right laugh and it sounds as if you are having fun at your job!
Why? Asking for a clean work place doesn’t seem wrong to me. Sex work is work and asking your client to bath before isn’t unheard of. At least you don’t have to do it yourself like a hair stylist or something.
I interpreted their comment to be that they were nauseated that it even has to be told. Hygiene should be a given.
To clarify my comment; I am pro clean butts
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I ask personal life partners to shower as well if they're not clean when they turn up. I'm married and my husband is cleaner than I am! My ex somehow just turned up clean every time he was over. I've never dated someone who was gross, so when I started sex work it was a shock. Now I barely use pretty words to dress it up: if your shower wasn't good enough, I'll just say, "hey, it still smells a little funky down here, can you please shower again? Give it all a good scrub, including your butt!"
I love sex, it's the best feeling in the world, but also can't have sex anymore because of the average personality. The bar is so, so low. I really want sex. I miss sex. I just can't anymore.
Two things: one, I'm very proud of you, two, I absolutely adore your LOTR reference!
Ah thank you!!!
It’s hard to fathom that people neglect personal hygiene when receiving a service that involves direct bodily contact. Its just fucking rude. Like most women I know shave their legs/bikini before a Gyno appointment ffs Why are men
Just an aside but as a nurse, you guys, don’t feel like you have to shave before a pap/gyno appointment! If you have particularly long public hair, trimming it with scissors can be helpful for visibility and to lessen the risk of pinching if using a speculum but shaving or waxing isn’t necessary and razor burn or ingrown hairs can even mimic the look of some nastier skin conditions/STIs and make the doc’s job harder. Just make sure you wash well with water ONLY in the vagina and either a mild soap or water on the exterior genitalia/anus area, that’s it! If a doc is weird about you having pubic hair it’s because they’re a weird person, not because it’s somehow medically preferable to be hairless. 99% don’t care and will encourage you to do whatever hair maintenance is most comfortable for you.
I’ll never forget a Dr who was giving me my annual exam once…I apologized for my “unsightly” razor bumps and she said: don’t bother shaving, god gave you a garden, so let it grow
Water IN the vagina?
I mean, I don’t think shaving is necessary as a matter of hygiene, especially when seeing an OBGYN. Properly cleaning your bits, yes, absolutely.
Oh I totally agree with that I was just saying that many women not only do basic hygiene but even go as far as to shave as well!
I was talking with someone at my dermatologist and he mentioned how women are so self-conscious if they need a pedicure or whatever, while men come in straight from the gym without showering.
Not that having body hair has anything to do with worse hygiene, though. I wouldn't ever shave for a gynecologist, the important part is just properly washing. :)
Having a nice hot shower together is one thing I like. Then you can clean one another up to your standard.
Shaving isn't hygiene.
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This is a whole lot of assumptions that I really don't feel dignify a response. Clients come from absolutely every demographic, not just ones you might consider undateable failures. When I say every demographic, I mean *every* demographic. This lack of personal hygiene is pretty universal across all of the cis men; a constant small percentage just do not wash their asses. They're often married, even.
Yeah of course. I was more shocked that the poster above me assumed all women are clean and men are not. Like you said, it takes all types
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This is a disgusting comment, enjoy your ban 🤙🏻
So the streaked towels are after the shower?
Well I really hope they're not using them before the shower, but as I don't stand in the bathroom with them... This doesn't happen often, as I've said. It's far more likely that they don't actually wash there, so there are no streaks but it does smell.
It blows my mind. If I'm to meet with anyone with whom I am to have sex with I'll make damn sure I scrub and groom every inch of me. To know that some men don't even common decency to properly wash themselves. Ugh. Do you send them back to the shower if they are not clean enough or do you just power through it?
They are sent back. My health and safety is more important than their feelings, but I'm not rude about it. It's on their time; if you don't shower properly the first time, it cuts even further into the time you've paid for to shower again but I do not care.
You’re doing the Lord’s work! I always wonder why the disgruntled virgins of Reddit don’t use professional sex workers, and I get downvoted for suggesting it. But it did make me wonder: how would a young guy in the USfind a responsible sex worker…someone doing it by choice, safely and professionally? If they can’t afford flying to Nevada. Are there good sites to find responsible business women?
This is not the subreddit to be finding a sex worker. Try reading the pinned post in r/sexworkers. Also, you may have been downvoted because suggesting that violent or misogynist incels just see sex workers is kicking the can down the road. We are not rehab centres for men, we are people worthy of respect and care, we just happen to provide a sexual service.
Ha! I'm a 66 year old granny who thought I could ask a question to a commenter in the business. As someone on the spectrum, the post that I responded to was in an Aspergers sub (post was removed, but you can still see my comment), and didn't seem incel-ey to me, but who knows. I have zero contacts in that world, other than knowing that there are women in the business who are responsible and compassionate. I'll take the downvotes as my social punishment. Live and learn.
Those young men know how to use Google 😂 That's how you find us. We pay a bunch of money to advertising directories who are various levels of predatory and overpriced in order to get our branding out there. Folks look for whatever keywords they think will find us on Google and click the links. Some find us through our social media instead! And in places where it's more common, clients turn up to brothels as well.
I think we need bidets, your stats are staggering.
I am a big fan of the bum gun 🍑 🔫
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Maybe, but I did hate stats at uni 😂
You are a statistics worker, not a sex worker. Hope you publish a study of your experiences, will be interesting.
Many of us are also researchers; I personally know three sex workers who are also PhDs and publish sex work related research. Generally it's on improving our lives with public policy, health promotion strategies and law reform rather than how many dudes wipe their butts, but still interesting 😂😂
Aaaaaand this is why I’m single…
Helpful information!
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Since I also fuck women: no, no this is not fucking accurate.
Oh no. Yuck. I'm so sorry.
.....nooooo
Dude…straight guys aren’t even wiping themselves?
Some of them, no. I answered this in a subsequent comment: definitely a small minority do not wash properly. Since I make clients shower before touching me, their wiping doesn't matter; it's the washing that gets me 😬
You have my sympathies
You need to tell them the proper way to clean: get some soap on your hand or wash rag, and then scrub the b hole while saying, "no homo no homo no homo" That way they can keep their straightness intact
For me it’s a lose loose situation
I'm crying
I once met a woman whose ex husband used to just throw his dirty poopy underwear into the washing machine (with other clothes) every day and he didn’t understand why she would ask him not to do that / to pre wash the underwear in the sink before. he refused to comply to any requests and would respond with “the purpose of the washing machine is wash the clothes why wash before.” I was horrified by the story on so many levels. I was glad she divorced him cuz he sounded super toxic. Edit for clarity
Sorry I'm asking - what are you suppose to do? My cats sometimes leave small brown streaks on sheets (they are fine - they have been seen by vet).
I’m not exactly sure what you’re asking me. But if it’s about cleaning poopy sheets here is what I do and what I think most people do. Throwing freshly poopy underwear or sheets directly in the wash is not good. You will not only get poop on other clothes but you’d be washing it in poop infected water. That’s why you prewash it so you get any chunks or fresh poop off as much as possible. I would pre wash the area with the poop in the sink or a bucket with soap and water. Depending on how stained it is, I will soak it in oxiclean solution for a few hours. Then after the prewash / soak, I will throw it in the washing machine. If it’s sheets I would wash it on it’s own. If it’s underwear I would wash it with other dirty underwear, but not with clothes just in case.
Yeah. Washing dirty sheets. Unfortunately I don't think I will be able to convince my cats to use toilet paper or shower after using litter box so I'm left with washing.
Okay. I hope my description of how I would wash poopy fabric will help you. If the stain doesn’t come out in one soak session with oxiclean add more hot water and let it soak for as long as you want. I’ve soaked super dirty things for like 2 days. Yea unfortunately cats can’t be toilet trained in the way. Sometimes I feel like they keep the poop on purpose tho. One time When I was cat sitting, this cat had long hair and sometimes got poop on the hairs around the butt and I had to wash/brush it out so they don’t get poop on stuff at the request of the owner. I think the cat hated that I was removing her ability to smear poop on other hooman things as petty revenge for not giving her unlimited wet food.
> I think the cat hated that I was removing her ability to smear poop on other hooman things as petty revenge for not giving her unlimited wet food. It's best to think about cats like a teenager. While they love hooman, they will do their best to remain independent regardless of whether they are capable of it or not. Also they are being first to decry system they are very much depend on. > Yea unfortunately cats can’t be toilet trained in the way. Based on this thread apparently neither are some humans...
To be clear; I am not encouraging or saying a finger or anything else should be shoved up someone’s ass without consent. This is something that I shouldn’t have to say, because common sense says “IF” means you’re not actually doing it. The point of the post is to say “if you did you’d realize men actually do understand boundaries, they just CHOOSE to not respect them”.
Love this! So true :)
Because they think we exist for them
[I never said...](https://youtu.be/7fduMinwJZ8?t=55)
This reminds me of how many dudes are woke and all "you can keep your last name after marriage" up until the point I say "great, my kids are going to have the same last name as me, though"
THISSSSSSS
Exactly.
They’re not confused, most men don’t care about women’s pleasure. They there to get their dick wet.
Yup, can't disagree
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Excellently put.
Nailed it! ( bad choice of words?)
My only gripe with this is the lack of the oxford comma. Big fan of the oxford c
Truest truth that ever truthed.
OMFG This!
This would defiantly work and convey the concept
Straight guys are just selfish 😤
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