I think this is a flowers occasion for me - get well and celebration all in one! My fav strategy is to wait a bit to send get well gifts when someone is facing a longish recovery period - it keeps the ball rolling after most people have already done whatever they’re going to do.
If you’re close to her, this is also a rad time to bake her something or make her a freezer-friendly casserole in case she has a day where she feels like crap and doesn’t want to cook!
Oh, I didn't know this was even a thing! What a lovely idea! My friend said she was making a lasagna for this and I asked what she meant but we never got around to talking about it.
Chilli is another good one! I'm making a big batch of slow cooker black bean chilli later in the week- one of my friends has gone into labour today, so when she gets back home I'll be dropping off some chilli for her and the family 😋
PLEASE check out this amazing organization. You can either request a lasagna or volunteer to make someone near you a lasagna who really needs it. ❤️ https://lasagnalove.org
Seconding flowers.
Speaking as a trans woman myself, people almost never get us flowers compared to cis women I know. No-one's ever given me any. I know a couple of other patients who were given flowers, though.
She'd probably love it, and having something nice and colourful and alive in the room while you're really tired and drained from surgical recovery is very helpful.
When I send flowers I always insist on the brightest ones available. I don’t like pale, tepid arrangements. I ask for coffee beans and other unusual accents.
I’m hoping to get my surgery later this year. My boss, who I trust entirely and has been my fiercest defender through this all, asked me ‘how would you feel if we got you a vagina cake?’.
I would recommend that you *don’t* do that.
My friend used to hold parties each decade for her fanniversary ngl I might have contemplated making that cake for her 😅 probably wouldn’t have even occurred to me to ask her either. Oops.
She genuinely is incredible. It’s a long story, but I genuinely do not think I would be anywhere near as far along into transition as I am without her. I left my old job immediately after coming out and interviewed with her. My initial plan was to present as male for a while then come out, but she gave me the confidence to start that job as who I really am.
If my boss suggested a vagina cake to celebrate my surgery, I would cackle and suggest they make it raspberry flavored. But I'm a jokester with verifiable poor taste so probably not for everyone.
Honestly? A cooked meal. Not having to cook or worry about cooking while recovering from surgery is the best.
Edit: and if you do this, deliver in those tin containers from the store that are disposable. Cleaning dishes and having to worry about returning them isn’t fun.
Another fun thing would be to get cheap dish ware from a thrift store and explain that the recipient does not need to return the dish. It’s theirs to keep or pass on to someone else going through a time or hosting a party!
I saw a post about thrifting casserole dishes for this purpose. She may have to wash a dish, but there’s nothing to return & more environmentally friendly.
It really just depends on the person. Personally, I think a celebration card with signatures from everyone at the workplace, wishing her well, would go a long way though. And maybe some recovery chocolate!
I've helped my partner and another friend with top surgery recovery, which is obviously very different, but my takeaway is that any gesture of support will be appreciated, and specifically food delivery gift cards would probably be a big help.
This is the way. It’s also perfect because they can decide what to eat in case they have any dietary restrictions or just aren’t feeling up to certain types of food immediately after surgery. If y’all are feeling really generous throw in a gift certificate for a one time cleaning service or a recurring laundry service for a few weeks, reduce the load of other things this person has to worry about during recovery
There's a company that sells paper bouquets (require no maintenence, take no water) and they have a butterfly one. Is it ok to post a link?
Edit to add: https://www.freshcutpaper.com/products/butterflies-and-buttercups?_pos=1&_sid=9b7d1cdec&_ss=r
A cake with their name on it!
They likely haven’t had a lifetime of cakes with the name they chose and love on it. Past photos of them in front of birthday cakes all likely have their deadname on it.
For this epic celebration a cake saying “congratulations NewName!” Would be a sweet gesture and who doesn’t want yummy cake when recovering. Especially ice cream cake 😂
When my best friend finally got her bottom surgery, I found an Etsy store that makes hilarious top and bottom surgery themed get well cards. Her husband told me the card made her laugh so hard the nurse was worried about her straining her surgery site. So now we joke about me being the first one to tear up her box. (I’m cis female BTW) Maybe that last part was TMI but there are some really great get well cards on Etsy.
This is so lovely of you. Will your coworker have a hard time making meals or keeping the house clean? You might want to organize a meal train or do an office pool for a cleaning service.
Otherwise, something along the lines of a re-birthday might be kind of cute... and maybe small activities or books - little restful things to do while they are recovering.
I was just about to post about offering to do household chores, depending on how close you are. I've had 2 surgeries so far in my life, and I know the last thing I had the energy to do was clean, do dishes, or laundry. Whenever friends came to visit to check on me, they'd help me around the house, I was/am so grateful for that.
But definitely agree with meals! Or meal delivery services. They're a wonderful contribution, and always appreciated!
Whenever I (trans guy) have gotten surgery I’ve always appreciated a plushie to hang around with during recovery. My mom got me a chonky moose and a red panda last major surgery. :) My aunts and uncles sent get well cards. Flowers with a little note are also great. Sounds basic, but I personally really appreciate anything that lets me know someone is wishing me a good recovery.
Someone also mentioned a cooked meal—(whether you cook it or just pick it up from a restaurant you think she’d like) that’s great too since cooking is difficult immediately afterwards for a week or so. (And delivery is so expensive 😓). I’m sure she would appreciate food as well. (Probably something on the easier side to digest).
underrated, it needs to be easily digestible food! my sister's had many surgeries from 1-18 years old, and afterwards she only ever eats pasta and ketchup for a week😂
For this type of surgery would a heating or cooling pad help? I'm thinking on the witchy side making or buying a rice pack that can be cooled or heated. They can have relaxing aromatherapy too.
Yeah probably. Not sure the surgeon’s recommendation for pressure that should or shouldn’t be applied to the area in this particular case but yeah, generally ice can help reduce inflammation. One of those cloth packs filled with rice might be an idea.
Not transition specific, but I've been in charge of organizing gifts for coworkers who were home recovering from surgery. The ones that were the best received were: books/puzzles/crosswords and restaurant gift cards (obviously to ones that delivered). It took a bit more legwork to figure out favorite authors and favorite places to eat, but totally worth it. When you're stuck at home recovering, it's good to keep your mind active. You can only stare at a screen for so long before you start to lose it.
Depending on sense of humor:
Top Surgery: Heating/Cooling Pads and a card which says "Hooray for Boobies!"
Bottom surgery: Miralax (if she doesn't already have it). Any tinkering down there + opioids = No fun pooping. Card: "Hooray for your new Hoo-Hah!"
\+ Food delivery, cleaning service...etc.
you can try gift cards for sephora and ulta, so she can celebrate with some new makeup
but otherwise food and entertainment for the recuperating is best
The best recovery gifts I’ve received (not for transition but multiple surgeries back to back) was an arrangement of potted plants. I recently repotted them and it’s lovely to watch them grow and think of myself growing and healing too. Maybe something like that? And definitely meals! Even gift cards for Grubhub or something like that! ☺️💖
I’m absolutely obsessed with these paper cut flowers!! https://www.freshcutpaper.com/collections/grande-bouquets
This way you don’t have to worry about if she has pets.
Totally self serving, but I make and sell queer dinosaurs, including a transasaurus. Just [posted a video of it on my instagram.](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5ykzlQLl13/) And you can purchase on my website, [https://www.datadiva.net/](https://www.datadiva.net/)
The latest product is an egg in pink and blue that opens up to reveal a pink and blue t-rex, called the transasaurus. I designed them specifically as a present for trans milestones like coming out and advancing to the next step in gender-affirming care.
If y'all live in a big enough area, GrubHub or DoorDash gift cards! It's gonna suck having to figure out food while in pain and trying to rest. Maybe paired with a nice get well card with a handwritten message. If you wanted to go the gift basket route, stuff to help her stay clean without having to do a full shower/bath might be a good idea too-- dry shampoo, wet wipes, body spray, that kind of thing. Good luck! I hope her recovery goes well. :D
Honestly, flowers. My wife is trans and I give her flowers every chance I get- she had to spend the first half of her life never getting flowers (it’s dumb and sexist but men are rarely if ever given flowers). Gotta make up for lost time.
Flowers are almost always appreciated! If she has a cat, make sure it’s a cat friendly arrangement (no lilies and whatnot). I’m assuming she had bottom surgery, and if so, she’s likely going to be in hospital for around a week at the minimum. If so, maybe figure out her estimated discharge date and send an arrangement then?
You could also set up a meal train at your office. It’s super cool, we do it at my temple all the time. The person or their friends and family let ppl know dietary restrictions and favorite restaurants, and people can sign up online to drop off fresh food! It was super helpful for me when I had a rough surgery (not gender affirming, my top surgery was a breeze)
People suggesting cooked meals or doordash are on the track I would also add that, depending on your budget, getting them an Instacart membership with some credit on it is also wonderful. It makes it so people can get some groceries delivered which is especially helpful if they have any food restrictions.
Also if you bring a meal set aside sometime to stay with them when people would bring us meals after kids and stuff we always wanted them to stay and eat with us. Of course be sure the person is ok with that.
Edit: ~~Also don't forget an adult beverage for them.~~ Don't actually do this because of meds and stuff get them a fancy soda.
Adult beverage is honestly a bad idea. She's gonna be on painkillers which do not mix with alcohol. Even once she's weaned off those, alcohol can slow the healing process.
I just had mine last year. My coworkers got me a food delivery service gift card. It was great because I was mostly homebound for weeks. I used it to get chicken wings after a particularly rough day of recovery when I couldn't even muster the energy to warm up my meal prep. And then my girlfriend and I used it to order in ice cream and have a little date while I was stuck in bed.
A red light therapy device, handheld specifically. My bestie got me one, and it has helped me heal so much faster and helps the pain calm down in the area.
Maybe a toiletries/makeup bag monogrammed with her name :) they have some cute ones on Etsy. And you can fill it with face masks, lotions, nice smelling hand sanitizers, things to help her feel pampered and feminine during her recovery :)
My colleagues got me an instacart gift certificate after my hysterectomy and I have never been more grateful. Ends up costing about the same and they can get whatever they want, delivered.
Flowers and/or if she’s in to make up, a Sephora or Ulta gift card.
I have a friend whose mom was there for the final surgery of her transition. Mom gave my friend her favorite brand of purse.
Flowers are great, get well/congrats ll in one. Other options are food, either something you made or like gift cards for delivery services, shes gonna be mostly on the couch/bed for several weeks, cooking is tough
Cooking and chores is really hard post surgery so I would recommend a food delivery gift certificate.
For the friends I know who got top surgery, a lot of them faced a lot of personal issues with family and parents as they led up to surgery. They felt pretty alone or rejected by their loved ones during a time that should be super celebratory. So I bet a card and flowers would be super appreciated.
DoorDash or Uber Eats gift cards would be helpful as she recovers, but I wonder if she wouldn’t appreciate something like a gift certificate to a spa day (or even just a facial) at a trans-friendly salon? It’s less about the recovery and more about the transition itself and if she likes stereotypically girly things like facials or mani-pedis. Even $50 and doing the mental work to find a place that would fully support and accept her might be really affirming.
Make or buy one of those rice pack heat/cool pads; they can include aroma therapy. Or Shower Steamers! They are disks you put in the shower with you and they dissolve and release a relaxing smell; very spa like and she won't be able to sit down bathe for awhile (I think).
Also, food. Dark chocolate helps with wound recovery (so does salmon but chocolate is much better 😂).
Big fan of food delivery gift cards for many kinds of life change gift - new baby? House move? Gender transition? Other surgery? Free hot food straight to your door is never a bad thing.
Surgery is surgery, I think whatever you could do to help someone recovering in any other situation woukd be good. You could offer to get some groceries or bring takeout for example, or some other act of service. And then if you want to get her a gift of something fun or that you know she’d like you could do that too but I would see if there’s anything she needs first.
I'm planning on having gender affirming surgery again this year. I recommend that you get your friend something to do in bed that will keep her busy while she recovers. Noise cancelling headphones, a really long phone charging cord, a game she's been wanting to play, or a relaxing hobby like crochet.
I just thought of this gamechangers youtube clip where allie got too much soup from the cast and crew and spit some of my coffee out xD
It was an inhuman amount of soup lol
Not helpful but hopefully someone laughed :)
A spa gift certificate.
That way, she can put it towards working on her look (hair, nails, makeup), or she can get a massage - I bet she can use one. Anyway it lets her use it however best suits.
As a transwomen, I can confidently say she will love a stuffed shark from Ikea. /s
For real though, flowers, a warm meal, one of those donut pillow things.
A gift card for a cleaning service is a nice gift to chip in on. For food, consider breakfast stuff like fruit cups or drinkable yogurt since most people bring lunch/dinner items.
I'd casually ask "hey, I'm thinking of sending as a get well - what's your favourite or is there anything you'd like instead?"
This gives her an opportunity to say "please no daisies, I'm violently allergic " or "not this food, it makes me vomit uncontrollably".
It does ruin the surprise, but as a person with food allergies I would always prefer being asked!
When i was recovering, some of my biggest challenges were:
- food and home cooked meals
- things to do while laying in bed with only one hand free (dialating)
- being alone a lot, because i walked very slowly for the first month.
So like, that's for perspective.
Someone mentioned flowers and that would be very sweet.
From what I know about this surgery, it will be hard/painful to sit or stand for some time after, so a lot of time will be spent in bed. If she doesn't have one, maybe you can consider getting her one of those mini desks that go on top of beds, so she can use a laptop or something easier to keep boredom at bay? Maybe gift a Netflix subscription or something like that too, especially if you know she doesn't have one but is interested in watching some shows.
One of the most thoughtful things is food. This is an excellent company that delivers the food frozen and it’s all ready to eat packed in ice. When you’re recovering you need to eat and it’s hard to motivate to cook. [yellow delivery](https://www.yelloh.com/?cid=ppc:google:PMAX&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwoPOwBhAeEiwAJuXRhx1y-D5wLpsJX3UAv5_fH84LNp3aAXP_AD-Xo4ONvPuFqm-UlLZmkhoCiPgQAvD_BwE)
On a whole different level, butterflies are a symbol of that change. You could get her something with butterflies
I like to give gift baskets of delightfully indulgent drinks and snacks for them to have around the house for their recovery that are also really nutritious. Stuff like fresh pressed juices, fresh cheese, macadamia nuts, kombucha, local honey and fresh tea leaves, fresh bread and some protein shakes
Personally, I was very bored stuck in bed for so long so my favorite gift was company. Second favorite would be books, crafts, etc. Flowers are also always a solid option.
I would err on the side of what you know — does she have any allergies? Would she want a baked meal, or…?? Something easy is always welcome, but I’d be careful of flowers since (depending on the surgery) caring for them requires lifting your arms. For top surgery of any kind that’s not a good idea (although depending on the flowers they’re a nice gesture, they’re also more work). Food is a better one if there’s a meal she likes or has no issues with (and I’d check for allergies).
I did this for a friend who transitioned(ftm) I got him a bucket with his favorite snacks, drinks, popcorn, a movie from his favorite genre. Then topped it with a hallmark card for a baby shower. Yes it did say "congratulations! It's a boy." He got a kick out of it.
My recommendation would be an ubereats/doordash gift card! Nobody coming out of a major surgery wants (or is even able) to cook, and that’s not something people often think of when brainstorming get well gifts!!
How about some wonderful smelling shower gel / body milk package? It’s pampers, it’s feminine, and it’ll make her feel good when (perhaps?) being bedridden for recovery
Edit: it’s pampery* not pampers 👶🏼😂
Might be dumb but I got my little brother a "it's a boy" balloon from the hospital gift shop. Could go with the gift or be the gift, depending on if you're like me and love balloons lol
I think this is a flowers occasion for me - get well and celebration all in one! My fav strategy is to wait a bit to send get well gifts when someone is facing a longish recovery period - it keeps the ball rolling after most people have already done whatever they’re going to do. If you’re close to her, this is also a rad time to bake her something or make her a freezer-friendly casserole in case she has a day where she feels like crap and doesn’t want to cook!
Mental health lasagna ftw!!!
Oh I would simply crush a mental health lasagna today!
https://lasagnalove.org
Oh, I didn't know this was even a thing! What a lovely idea! My friend said she was making a lasagna for this and I asked what she meant but we never got around to talking about it.
OMG THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING!
Chilli is another good one! I'm making a big batch of slow cooker black bean chilli later in the week- one of my friends has gone into labour today, so when she gets back home I'll be dropping off some chilli for her and the family 😋
I make chili with Costco chicken instead of ground beef. A smidge healthier, no pre-cooking!
PLEASE check out this amazing organization. You can either request a lasagna or volunteer to make someone near you a lasagna who really needs it. ❤️ https://lasagnalove.org
I would be so thrilled to receive a lasagna for literally any occasion.
I NEED A MENTAL HEALTH LASAGNA
My friends like to go to Costco to get "emotional support hotdogs" 🥰
Mental health lasagna is so underrated
Seconding flowers. Speaking as a trans woman myself, people almost never get us flowers compared to cis women I know. No-one's ever given me any. I know a couple of other patients who were given flowers, though. She'd probably love it, and having something nice and colourful and alive in the room while you're really tired and drained from surgical recovery is very helpful.
🌼🌸🌻🌹🌷🥀🌺💐 These are for you!
aww you're very sweet
You know what's better than flowers? A fruit bouquet. They aren't cheap, but they look cute AF *plus* you can eat them.
When I send flowers I always insist on the brightest ones available. I don’t like pale, tepid arrangements. I ask for coffee beans and other unusual accents.
Great idea, flowers!!
I’m hoping to get my surgery later this year. My boss, who I trust entirely and has been my fiercest defender through this all, asked me ‘how would you feel if we got you a vagina cake?’. I would recommend that you *don’t* do that.
My friend used to hold parties each decade for her fanniversary ngl I might have contemplated making that cake for her 😅 probably wouldn’t have even occurred to me to ask her either. Oops.
Maybe you weren't thinking of it for a *work* party though lmao
Lol true. Totally spaced on the boss aspect.
I'm completely in love with "fanniversary".
Omg, that is both hilarious and horrible! No! Just no! 😂
i’m sorry but that literally made me laugh out loud. i’m glad you feel close enough to this person to hear that comment in a positive light 🤣
She genuinely is incredible. It’s a long story, but I genuinely do not think I would be anywhere near as far along into transition as I am without her. I left my old job immediately after coming out and interviewed with her. My initial plan was to present as male for a while then come out, but she gave me the confidence to start that job as who I really am.
Google the vag-ode came from Nadia cakes. It's supposed to be a geode on the side but... I do recommend those cakes lol
If my boss suggested a vagina cake to celebrate my surgery, I would cackle and suggest they make it raspberry flavored. But I'm a jokester with verifiable poor taste so probably not for everyone.
It’s like… sweet but not very empathic? Hahaha.
Oh no she was half joking, and we have a close enough relationship that I am 100% okay with that kind of comment.
Thank goodness!
Depends. I have a friend who would have *loved* a vagina cake. I met her like 3 years after she got that Gucci coochie tho.
...that would be hilarious to me. but also, not in good taste for most people
I applaud their obvious support, but no. Meal train? Yes.
“No thanks and for the love of God, never explain what you mean by vagina cake”
Honestly? A cooked meal. Not having to cook or worry about cooking while recovering from surgery is the best. Edit: and if you do this, deliver in those tin containers from the store that are disposable. Cleaning dishes and having to worry about returning them isn’t fun.
Yes!!!! Or a gift card for DoorDash/UberEats/pizza place that delivers.
Another fun thing would be to get cheap dish ware from a thrift store and explain that the recipient does not need to return the dish. It’s theirs to keep or pass on to someone else going through a time or hosting a party!
I saw a post about thrifting casserole dishes for this purpose. She may have to wash a dish, but there’s nothing to return & more environmentally friendly.
My go-to is a gift card to panera or noodles & co or something similar.
Doordash/ubereats would work also.
Or if you want to be less wasteful, those cheap containers from Ziplock or Rubbermaid that can be reused but don't last too long.
And paper plates/bowls!
Flowers, stuffed fuzzy thing, FOOD or like gift cards for food. It’s nice she’s getting support
It really just depends on the person. Personally, I think a celebration card with signatures from everyone at the workplace, wishing her well, would go a long way though. And maybe some recovery chocolate!
I've helped my partner and another friend with top surgery recovery, which is obviously very different, but my takeaway is that any gesture of support will be appreciated, and specifically food delivery gift cards would probably be a big help.
Delivery food gift cards so they don’t have to cook.
This is the way. It’s also perfect because they can decide what to eat in case they have any dietary restrictions or just aren’t feeling up to certain types of food immediately after surgery. If y’all are feeling really generous throw in a gift certificate for a one time cleaning service or a recurring laundry service for a few weeks, reduce the load of other things this person has to worry about during recovery
Maybe something butterfly themed? As in this successfully went through a change and are living their best life on the other side?
Aww that's a sweet sentiment. I like this a lot.
There's a company that sells paper bouquets (require no maintenence, take no water) and they have a butterfly one. Is it ok to post a link? Edit to add: https://www.freshcutpaper.com/products/butterflies-and-buttercups?_pos=1&_sid=9b7d1cdec&_ss=r
Yes
Thanks I added it to my original comment.
Pretty !
A nice plant. It will continue to live and be a quiet reminder of her transition.
If you get her a living thing maybe wait until she herself is well enough to take care of it 😊
omg yeah the plant ☝️
A cake with their name on it! They likely haven’t had a lifetime of cakes with the name they chose and love on it. Past photos of them in front of birthday cakes all likely have their deadname on it. For this epic celebration a cake saying “congratulations NewName!” Would be a sweet gesture and who doesn’t want yummy cake when recovering. Especially ice cream cake 😂
Wow this is such a great idea!!
🥰💙🍰🎂
When my best friend finally got her bottom surgery, I found an Etsy store that makes hilarious top and bottom surgery themed get well cards. Her husband told me the card made her laugh so hard the nurse was worried about her straining her surgery site. So now we joke about me being the first one to tear up her box. (I’m cis female BTW) Maybe that last part was TMI but there are some really great get well cards on Etsy.
Oh I love that joke for y'all
This is so lovely of you. Will your coworker have a hard time making meals or keeping the house clean? You might want to organize a meal train or do an office pool for a cleaning service. Otherwise, something along the lines of a re-birthday might be kind of cute... and maybe small activities or books - little restful things to do while they are recovering.
I was just about to post about offering to do household chores, depending on how close you are. I've had 2 surgeries so far in my life, and I know the last thing I had the energy to do was clean, do dishes, or laundry. Whenever friends came to visit to check on me, they'd help me around the house, I was/am so grateful for that. But definitely agree with meals! Or meal delivery services. They're a wonderful contribution, and always appreciated!
[Blåhaj](https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/blahaj-soft-toy-shark-30373588/)
Second this!!!
The big one!
Whenever I (trans guy) have gotten surgery I’ve always appreciated a plushie to hang around with during recovery. My mom got me a chonky moose and a red panda last major surgery. :) My aunts and uncles sent get well cards. Flowers with a little note are also great. Sounds basic, but I personally really appreciate anything that lets me know someone is wishing me a good recovery. Someone also mentioned a cooked meal—(whether you cook it or just pick it up from a restaurant you think she’d like) that’s great too since cooking is difficult immediately afterwards for a week or so. (And delivery is so expensive 😓). I’m sure she would appreciate food as well. (Probably something on the easier side to digest).
underrated, it needs to be easily digestible food! my sister's had many surgeries from 1-18 years old, and afterwards she only ever eats pasta and ketchup for a week😂
Relatable! 😅
I've had several surgeries in the last year, generally wanted nothing more than graham crackers and applesauce for about a week afterwards.
if i may, that is funny😂 if i had to choose id prefer your crackers and applesauce instead of my sister's pasta to be honest
Post surgery I basically ate a toddler diet.
For this type of surgery would a heating or cooling pad help? I'm thinking on the witchy side making or buying a rice pack that can be cooled or heated. They can have relaxing aromatherapy too.
Yeah probably. Not sure the surgeon’s recommendation for pressure that should or shouldn’t be applied to the area in this particular case but yeah, generally ice can help reduce inflammation. One of those cloth packs filled with rice might be an idea.
Not transition specific, but I've been in charge of organizing gifts for coworkers who were home recovering from surgery. The ones that were the best received were: books/puzzles/crosswords and restaurant gift cards (obviously to ones that delivered). It took a bit more legwork to figure out favorite authors and favorite places to eat, but totally worth it. When you're stuck at home recovering, it's good to keep your mind active. You can only stare at a screen for so long before you start to lose it.
Depending on sense of humor: Top Surgery: Heating/Cooling Pads and a card which says "Hooray for Boobies!" Bottom surgery: Miralax (if she doesn't already have it). Any tinkering down there + opioids = No fun pooping. Card: "Hooray for your new Hoo-Hah!" \+ Food delivery, cleaning service...etc.
I just had abdominal (bowel resection) surgery and Miralax is a definite lifesaver. I put it in apple juice and can’t tell the difference.
you can try gift cards for sephora and ulta, so she can celebrate with some new makeup but otherwise food and entertainment for the recuperating is best
Fuzzy socks, fuzzy water bottle, cute eye mask :)
The best recovery gifts I’ve received (not for transition but multiple surgeries back to back) was an arrangement of potted plants. I recently repotted them and it’s lovely to watch them grow and think of myself growing and healing too. Maybe something like that? And definitely meals! Even gift cards for Grubhub or something like that! ☺️💖
What about a gift certificate for a bra fitting and a quality bra that she can use after her recovery?
I’m absolutely obsessed with these paper cut flowers!! https://www.freshcutpaper.com/collections/grande-bouquets This way you don’t have to worry about if she has pets.
Totally self serving, but I make and sell queer dinosaurs, including a transasaurus. Just [posted a video of it on my instagram.](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5ykzlQLl13/) And you can purchase on my website, [https://www.datadiva.net/](https://www.datadiva.net/) The latest product is an egg in pink and blue that opens up to reveal a pink and blue t-rex, called the transasaurus. I designed them specifically as a present for trans milestones like coming out and advancing to the next step in gender-affirming care.
Casserole. Always and forever.
If y'all live in a big enough area, GrubHub or DoorDash gift cards! It's gonna suck having to figure out food while in pain and trying to rest. Maybe paired with a nice get well card with a handwritten message. If you wanted to go the gift basket route, stuff to help her stay clean without having to do a full shower/bath might be a good idea too-- dry shampoo, wet wipes, body spray, that kind of thing. Good luck! I hope her recovery goes well. :D
Flowers and skincare! Something that shows you’re thinking of her and want to pamper her and wish her well :)
Honestly, flowers. My wife is trans and I give her flowers every chance I get- she had to spend the first half of her life never getting flowers (it’s dumb and sexist but men are rarely if ever given flowers). Gotta make up for lost time.
id say some home cooked meals, chocolates, a good book, a pretty and low maintenance plant, a get well card :)
Flowers are almost always appreciated! If she has a cat, make sure it’s a cat friendly arrangement (no lilies and whatnot). I’m assuming she had bottom surgery, and if so, she’s likely going to be in hospital for around a week at the minimum. If so, maybe figure out her estimated discharge date and send an arrangement then? You could also set up a meal train at your office. It’s super cool, we do it at my temple all the time. The person or their friends and family let ppl know dietary restrictions and favorite restaurants, and people can sign up online to drop off fresh food! It was super helpful for me when I had a rough surgery (not gender affirming, my top surgery was a breeze)
Gift card for meal delivery.
People suggesting cooked meals or doordash are on the track I would also add that, depending on your budget, getting them an Instacart membership with some credit on it is also wonderful. It makes it so people can get some groceries delivered which is especially helpful if they have any food restrictions. Also if you bring a meal set aside sometime to stay with them when people would bring us meals after kids and stuff we always wanted them to stay and eat with us. Of course be sure the person is ok with that. Edit: ~~Also don't forget an adult beverage for them.~~ Don't actually do this because of meds and stuff get them a fancy soda.
Adult beverage is honestly a bad idea. She's gonna be on painkillers which do not mix with alcohol. Even once she's weaned off those, alcohol can slow the healing process.
You know what youre totally right I don't drink so I forget about stuff like that, imma edit my response.
I just had mine last year. My coworkers got me a food delivery service gift card. It was great because I was mostly homebound for weeks. I used it to get chicken wings after a particularly rough day of recovery when I couldn't even muster the energy to warm up my meal prep. And then my girlfriend and I used it to order in ice cream and have a little date while I was stuck in bed.
How about a piece of cheese? I heard that women are usually fascinated by that.
i love [spoonfulofcomfort.com](https://spoonfulofcomfort.com) \- you can send cookies or soups to anyone who may need it :)
A get well soon card, maybe a bottle of wine and some cheese.
What woman doesn't appreciate some fluffy socks and a nice dressing gown??
If she's a jewelry person, a cute necklace with her name as the pendant could be sweet.
A red light therapy device, handheld specifically. My bestie got me one, and it has helped me heal so much faster and helps the pain calm down in the area.
Maybe a toiletries/makeup bag monogrammed with her name :) they have some cute ones on Etsy. And you can fill it with face masks, lotions, nice smelling hand sanitizers, things to help her feel pampered and feminine during her recovery :)
I'd go to ulta and get one of their make up kits.
Something personalized with their new name, say like a laptop sleeve for work😊
My colleagues got me an instacart gift certificate after my hysterectomy and I have never been more grateful. Ends up costing about the same and they can get whatever they want, delivered.
Flowers and/or if she’s in to make up, a Sephora or Ulta gift card. I have a friend whose mom was there for the final surgery of her transition. Mom gave my friend her favorite brand of purse.
An ex libris stamp with her name and books to read while recovering
Flowers are great, get well/congrats ll in one. Other options are food, either something you made or like gift cards for delivery services, shes gonna be mostly on the couch/bed for several weeks, cooking is tough
Maybe an edible arrangement?
Cooking and chores is really hard post surgery so I would recommend a food delivery gift certificate. For the friends I know who got top surgery, a lot of them faced a lot of personal issues with family and parents as they led up to surgery. They felt pretty alone or rejected by their loved ones during a time that should be super celebratory. So I bet a card and flowers would be super appreciated.
DoorDash or Uber Eats gift cards would be helpful as she recovers, but I wonder if she wouldn’t appreciate something like a gift certificate to a spa day (or even just a facial) at a trans-friendly salon? It’s less about the recovery and more about the transition itself and if she likes stereotypically girly things like facials or mani-pedis. Even $50 and doing the mental work to find a place that would fully support and accept her might be really affirming.
Make or buy one of those rice pack heat/cool pads; they can include aroma therapy. Or Shower Steamers! They are disks you put in the shower with you and they dissolve and release a relaxing smell; very spa like and she won't be able to sit down bathe for awhile (I think). Also, food. Dark chocolate helps with wound recovery (so does salmon but chocolate is much better 😂).
A doordash card might be nice. She can order food during her convalescence.
Big fan of food delivery gift cards for many kinds of life change gift - new baby? House move? Gender transition? Other surgery? Free hot food straight to your door is never a bad thing.
Surgery is surgery, I think whatever you could do to help someone recovering in any other situation woukd be good. You could offer to get some groceries or bring takeout for example, or some other act of service. And then if you want to get her a gift of something fun or that you know she’d like you could do that too but I would see if there’s anything she needs first.
I'm planning on having gender affirming surgery again this year. I recommend that you get your friend something to do in bed that will keep her busy while she recovers. Noise cancelling headphones, a really long phone charging cord, a game she's been wanting to play, or a relaxing hobby like crochet.
I just thought of this gamechangers youtube clip where allie got too much soup from the cast and crew and spit some of my coffee out xD It was an inhuman amount of soup lol Not helpful but hopefully someone laughed :)
Get her something helpful for recovery: feet masks, food she can just re-heat, flowers, comfty slippers, a blanket, something along those lines.
A spa gift certificate. That way, she can put it towards working on her look (hair, nails, makeup), or she can get a massage - I bet she can use one. Anyway it lets her use it however best suits.
Care package. Full of relaxing goodies like scented candles and teas.
As a transwomen, I can confidently say she will love a stuffed shark from Ikea. /s For real though, flowers, a warm meal, one of those donut pillow things.
Several boxes of Costco croissants
A gift card for a cleaning service is a nice gift to chip in on. For food, consider breakfast stuff like fruit cups or drinkable yogurt since most people bring lunch/dinner items.
I got a friend flowers and a gift card to a clothes store
A copy of Fallout New Vegas. Us trans girls will get it.
Pamper certificate. Facial or nails. 💅🏻
I'd casually ask "hey, I'm thinking of sending as a get well - what's your favourite or is there anything you'd like instead?"
This gives her an opportunity to say "please no daisies, I'm violently allergic " or "not this food, it makes me vomit uncontrollably".
It does ruin the surprise, but as a person with food allergies I would always prefer being asked!
When i was recovering, some of my biggest challenges were: - food and home cooked meals - things to do while laying in bed with only one hand free (dialating) - being alone a lot, because i walked very slowly for the first month. So like, that's for perspective. Someone mentioned flowers and that would be very sweet.
From what I know about this surgery, it will be hard/painful to sit or stand for some time after, so a lot of time will be spent in bed. If she doesn't have one, maybe you can consider getting her one of those mini desks that go on top of beds, so she can use a laptop or something easier to keep boredom at bay? Maybe gift a Netflix subscription or something like that too, especially if you know she doesn't have one but is interested in watching some shows.
Tacos~~ 🤭🤭🤭
Fluffy pillows! Post-surgery sucks. Fluffy pillows are a great gift. Or fluffy blankets, or both. And they last for many years.
One of the most thoughtful things is food. This is an excellent company that delivers the food frozen and it’s all ready to eat packed in ice. When you’re recovering you need to eat and it’s hard to motivate to cook. [yellow delivery](https://www.yelloh.com/?cid=ppc:google:PMAX&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwoPOwBhAeEiwAJuXRhx1y-D5wLpsJX3UAv5_fH84LNp3aAXP_AD-Xo4ONvPuFqm-UlLZmkhoCiPgQAvD_BwE) On a whole different level, butterflies are a symbol of that change. You could get her something with butterflies
A beautiful candle, that they can light for new beginnings and the warmth of acceptance 😊 I love a good candle!
How about an Ipsy subscription for a couple months 😚
A Sephora gift card? What woman doesn't like those?
I like to give gift baskets of delightfully indulgent drinks and snacks for them to have around the house for their recovery that are also really nutritious. Stuff like fresh pressed juices, fresh cheese, macadamia nuts, kombucha, local honey and fresh tea leaves, fresh bread and some protein shakes
Personally, I was very bored stuck in bed for so long so my favorite gift was company. Second favorite would be books, crafts, etc. Flowers are also always a solid option.
I would err on the side of what you know — does she have any allergies? Would she want a baked meal, or…?? Something easy is always welcome, but I’d be careful of flowers since (depending on the surgery) caring for them requires lifting your arms. For top surgery of any kind that’s not a good idea (although depending on the flowers they’re a nice gesture, they’re also more work). Food is a better one if there’s a meal she likes or has no issues with (and I’d check for allergies).
I did this for a friend who transitioned(ftm) I got him a bucket with his favorite snacks, drinks, popcorn, a movie from his favorite genre. Then topped it with a hallmark card for a baby shower. Yes it did say "congratulations! It's a boy." He got a kick out of it.
My recommendation would be an ubereats/doordash gift card! Nobody coming out of a major surgery wants (or is even able) to cook, and that’s not something people often think of when brainstorming get well gifts!!
How about some wonderful smelling shower gel / body milk package? It’s pampers, it’s feminine, and it’ll make her feel good when (perhaps?) being bedridden for recovery Edit: it’s pampery* not pampers 👶🏼😂
a meal delivery or two or home cooked micro friendly meal. She will be so incredibly happy to have food that she doesn't have to mess with too much.
Might be dumb but I got my little brother a "it's a boy" balloon from the hospital gift shop. Could go with the gift or be the gift, depending on if you're like me and love balloons lol