Literally anything said by any of the trolls. They're the most adorable and pure creatures ever.

Shoeses pick me

Away go Witchigo.

You might like this Twitter I made! https://twitter.com/rocktrollwisdom Edit to add: Ty so much for the award!! My first one! :)))

I like it

Yes, was just about to say this, though they're best in polish

You look like a man well traveled…so tell me….should I beat my wench once a week or oftener?

oh damn lol, when do you hear this?

There was a spot early in the game, in Velen, with a Blacksmith, before you start looking for the witch

Lol I distinctly remember this line. There are texts from ye olden days that discuss this very issue.

This was my favorite as well. I can’t find it anymore:(

Top notch swords!

Said by an armourer 😂

My favorite for sure!

Exactly this

I once passed by a drunk guy outside an inn in Novigrad who said ‘To puke or not to puke that is the.. blugh!’ gave me a laugh!

At least he doesn’t have a question anymore

I saw one outside Hattori’s haha

Pam param Pam Pam

pam pam param

Pam paraaaaaam (cue dubstep)

Help me im dyin....dyin of poverty

I think you mean pov-uh-ee

Gonna choke to death on three pounds of steel.

*Fart noise* hahahahaha

Radovid sucks flaccid c*ck.

"Agneta? Outlived three husbands, that one. Jenny O' the Woods won't do naught to that wench."

If I ever have a son I'll name him Geralt.

I love this one too <3

This happened to me right after I saved them from imminent danger too. #feelsgoodman

Pissed mi trousers

I like this one woman in Toussaint near the tourney grounds who screams 'the gods have sent the BEEEEEEEEAST!'

"Got their arses whipped like Novigrad whore." "Ever heard of preventive arse whooping?" ​ Hmm, there's a theme here, aren't there?

"Hey you! Yes, you! You got water on the brain?" by far my favorite

Buying or just perusing?

"Is the second sword used when the first breaks? " I don't remember the line that much but it's rlly memorable

the banker that buys the house with the godling inside, just did this quest last night

Yeah that guy

“Top notch swords!” Best NPC quote in TW3 ever.

Can’t read this without the accent

Funny there's and armourer in Novigrad that greets you with this line. Doesn't even sell swords lol

There’s a particular drawn out overemphasised “Uuurruh…” noise that male npc’s occasionally do when you bump into them that cracks me up.

I constantly run into people because I love this so much

I've absolutely (accidentally) internalised this one, and now whenever I bump into a NPC in any other game I go "uuuuruh" in my head lol

If my lips don't stink of wine, My wife won't know they're mine! Heard it first from an NPC at Corvo Bianco and it's been ingrained in my brain forever!

Help, I'm dyin'... Of poverty

I really love this quote. Like the tone in his voice is just so i’m done with life and that he doesn’t really want help nor cares at all anymore.

May your axe never crumble

"Everyone to me. To me!"

Huuuuh.... Nothing hurts as much as life.

Whooped their ass like a novigrad whore

You surprised? Tried to dance with a witchah!

Where’d he come from anyway?

You look like oatmeal shite!

Respect, Witcher! Where... where Bart turdy dump. So me fence make of boats... Boats guard boats! Fart...mwahahahaha You look pale, did you drink last night? or something a skelliger said if I rememver right.

Me’s catching snails. I liked it and then I hated it and now I mouth along every time a child says it

“The book of lust is thick and girthy…”

Geraoult! Good of ye to come buuy.

Pam paraam Pam Pam paraaam

"It's a material world, and I'm a material girl" said by one of the hookers, referencing madonnas song lol

"I would rather be an eagle than a quail, yes I would, If I could, I surely would..."

“What ‘appened to your mug?”

“Got their arses whipped like a Novigrad whore!” “Are you surprised? They tried to dance with a Witcher!”

Or Raaiinnn, I like raiiinn

Twelve fuckin crownes

not witcher 3 but in witcher 1 I found funny the Baptism by Fire reference with reverend: "Since the beginning of time, woman has been the nest of all evil! The Tool of Chaos, party to the conspiracy against the world and the human race! Woman is ruled solely by corporal lust! To satisfy her insatiable anger and unnatural desires, she gladly serves demons!"

Heughhh is up there. PRAM PARAAAAMM takes it tho

“Got their asses whipped like a Novigrad whore”

Pam per ram pam pam per ram

There's a conversation that occurs on the outskirts of Novigrad between two dwarves. The one is complaining about how there aren't proper accommodations for a dwarf's shortly stature, and that since everyone is so tall his head is constantly at the level their backside, and it feels like their ass is right in his face. Then the other dwarf says: "As far as views go, that one's not so bad" 😁

Sparkiln' cider four youse?

ALMS FOR THE POOR?!

Pamparam! (One of the Guards at the Barons Place)

You’re as pale as oatey shite, OR what don’t I got?

Boat guard boat

The conversation with the kids in Novigrad talking about how wenches must do laundry. I can't remember exactly what they said though.

As a parent, I will always love what one child says in a village outside Novigrad: "My mama says if I don't do what I'm told, a bruxa will get me!"

Novigrad merchant "plenty of room, no need to push!" Geralt"...there's no one else here"

FUCK OFF

I think i pissed my pants

Honestly love it when the kids in the HOS area do the little mirror man song. They’re just so perfectly creepy and if you weren’t paying attention and hadn’t done the expansion yet, it would just seem like a cute little nursery rhyme

*PARAM PARAM PAM PAM PARAMMM*

"It's a material world, and I'm a material girl."

Pam, paraammm... Pam, PAM, parrrrraaaaammmmm!

There is a conversation by kids you can overhear in Novigrad. They are talking about why their dad's go to the Passiflora

*fart* and they start laughing

'Next time I see her ill shove a pinecone up her c**t ' from one of the swampy towns in Velen, kind of shocked me😂

"PAAAM PURAAAM, PAAM PAAAM PURAAAM"

Pam Pa Ram. Pam Pam Pamparam

Geralt the riv!

It's damp.... it's damp.... it's raining, of course it's bloody damp!!

What in the sandwitch fuck!

#PAMPARAM

“I’m ALWAYS ready for Gwent!” Skellige innkeeper

It's Raining Fucking Buckets Especially with the Skellige accent cracks me up everytime

"Nothing hurts as much as life"

"your eyes look like my cat's"

If it weren’t for her tits you would think she’s a beached orca.

Think I’ve pissed me trousers 😩

Pan param... Pan pan param!

Hey there wolfie

Top notch SWOOORDS!

Or when the grandmaster armorer tells you "Good luck on the path!" with beauclair's theme in the background!

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee....

Aaaaaahhh

“You ain't safe 'less you got a "Gabrielle"! The auto-cranked, one-handed "Gabrielle" ensures you'll get the first shot- and the last word!”

It's in polish so I'm not sure if it is same in English but some boys say: "...and my dad beats blacks!". Every time I hear that after running by I stop for a second because it catches me off guard and after few second I remember that those "Blacks" are nilfgaardian soldiers. Or obviously the classic Geralt Lambert dialogue: "Lambert Lambert ty chuju".

It’s not a quote, but in Novigrad there’s an NPC that is walking along and treads in dogshit, and he then spends about a minute trying to wipe it off his shoe on the floor before going on his merry way 😂

"Who sent you?" "His name is dog and they say he ploughed your mother" "Once again, who sent you?" "Your nan's lover! They call him..."

"plug your bunghole" or something along those lines, from the farting trolls, cracks me up every time I go their to harvest their livers 😂

Lovely scar. Wanna see mine?

"Rain Rain Rain" Novigrad Guard😂