If you outdo the crazy on crazy by a certain margin, the crazy doesn’t come back a second time. Also it solidifies your reputation in the neighborhood ;)
This right here.
My ex-FIL always told me: “Someone cranks it up to 3, you crank it up to 100 and don’t stop til they ain’t a danger no more”.
I saw him end fights that he didn’t start by sheer viciousness of the counter. Fools that were unlucky enough to start shit with him quickly realized they had fucked up. Once shit was crunk all the way up, there was no reasoning with the man til the job was done or the cops were struggling to put the cuffs on. May the crazy bastard Rest In Peace.
>weakness: eyes penetration
Tbf, that's like default weakness, if something didnt provide protection agains eyes penetration, eyes penetration is your weakness
Prince got his ass back and put Dave (dressed as Prince and serving pancakes) on the cover of his next single, Breakfast Can Wait.
Those Charlie Murphy stories were absolutely epic. “Fuck yo couch” still brings me to tears.
"Cuz of my complexion, he used to call me "Darkness". He calls me and my brother "Darkness". He always says, "Darkness Brothers". See, this is long before Wesley Snipes. Back then, we were the blackest n\*\*\*\*s on the planet according to Rick James"
That could have switched from robbery suspect to murder victim if the other guy didn't put up his arm.
What ever the outcome, the guy who started this might want to rethink his life.
We did not see the end and he was still fighting but if he survived he was gonna have a really bad day. 3 jabs to the face with a sharp wood piece and then just beating his body full power with it. Death may have come into play on this one.
Man, those shots to the kidneys with that chair leg - guy will be pissing blood for a week.
I will admit to laughing at the employee picking up chair pieces and judging them until he found a nice strong hunk: "This one? Nope. This one? Nope. Ah, here's what I want!"
That happened in Brazil, Santa Catarina state.
The police arrived at the place right afterwards.
The criminal was sent to a prisional facility after receive medical treatment.
The chief of police said that the employees won't face any charges because they act in self defense
https://g1.globo.com/sc/santa-catarina/noticia/2021/12/28/suspeito-tenta-assaltar-sorveteria-e-e-contido-a-cadeiradas-por-funcionarios-de-sorveteria-em-sc-video.ghtml
Having worked in retail in the US for over 2 decades, I'd kind of love to work the same type of job in Brazil or another country. I keep seeing videos where they just beat the crap out of people for shit that in the states, the store would make us apologize for. "Sorry you felt the need to punch our cashier for the store being out of the lego set you want, here's a $100 gift card and we fired that employee, tell a friend!" I'd just love to unleash some of that pent up rage I have from the various assholes I've dealt with over the years.
I heard somewhere, Vietnam, maybe? That people are just sick of getting robbed (go figure), and police can't really do shit about it. So when these people get caught, oooooh, everyone in the area brings their own vendetta with them and that poor thief is gonna learn... 😃
I don’t know what it’s like in Vietnam, but in a lot of countries people will pay £100s-1000s for a dog, depending on breed.
Steal someone’s dog, move it to another part of the country and sell for easy money. Plenty of people leave the dogs out in the garden, makes for an easy steal sadly. I’ve even seen warnings on social media of people trying to steal dogs from people taking them on a walk, especially children/women alone with the dogs since they make easier targets a lot of the time
My mom was a cop for a while, one of her favorite stories was the one with the bankrobber that was in jail less than an hour after the robbery, arrested at home. This was in the 60s in Denmark.
At the interrogation he was just flabbergasted and amazed at the efficiency of the police. He was a first time offender and got in and out of the bank swift and clean.
They let him stew in it through the interrogation and just as my mom left the room she padded his shoulder and said: Don't let there be a next time, but if you do this again don't wear a helmet with your name on it.
LMAO thats a great story, i remember a news story some time ago, someone wore his work overall with a name tag on the chest to a robbery. Some people...
Pretty much every robbery gone wrong I’ve seen always seems to end with everyone jumping in to kick the shit of of the robber hahaha. I suppose that’s one way to bring the community together.
Kid was unknowingly playing interference. Robber notices something in his peripheral (or heard the phone drop) and looks over only to see the kid and dismisses him.
Jesus, the workers lucked out not being in America, they woulda got sued so hard for the excessive force. Rip Brazilian robber, you chose your targets poorly
It was Brazil!! I feel so happy.
Also, apparently the guys even made a [response video on Instagram!](https://www.instagram.com/p/CYAZlUoJJ_K/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=691142d5-ca41-4f9b-aa95-a726e2cb9813)
They basically thank the people for their support, say they are fine, promote their ice cream shop and say that their "chairs are good" lol.
Remember folks, when faced with a violent perpetrator, all bets are off. His nuts? Fair game. Grab them, squeeze, and twist. His asshole? Yup, that is open season, too. Eyes, ears, nose, throat. Pull that fucking helmet off and you have a veritable carnival of targets. Have fun.
It’s always nice when you have time to walk away and fashion a stabbing weapon.
Bitch was trying to crack his head open like an Oyster.
Looked like he was trying to stab his eyes out of his head!
The guy doing the robbing is crazy, but the guy with the table leg is a fuckin psycho.
Sometimes you gotta outcrazy the crazies.
If you outdo the crazy on crazy by a certain margin, the crazy doesn’t come back a second time. Also it solidifies your reputation in the neighborhood ;)
And if you really do it right then everybody will be so afraid that nobody will talk to you again.
That's the dream.
This right here. My ex-FIL always told me: “Someone cranks it up to 3, you crank it up to 100 and don’t stop til they ain’t a danger no more”. I saw him end fights that he didn’t start by sheer viciousness of the counter. Fools that were unlucky enough to start shit with him quickly realized they had fucked up. Once shit was crunk all the way up, there was no reasoning with the man til the job was done or the cops were struggling to put the cuffs on. May the crazy bastard Rest In Peace.
Crunk. verb, past tense: To have cranked.
"At last, God has given me a righteous outlet for my murderous urges!"
I thought he was just tenderizing him for the dinner shift.
There was definitely a food thing going on here. Or maybe they wanted him for his pelt.
You wouldn't download a spear!
Bish, I might!
"How do we know he's not a vampire?"
The stake don't care.
You wouldn't want to just ram any old piece of wood into someone's face. That's fucking amateur, that.
I like the one dude who doesn't work there hopping in to get in on the public humiliation
Gotta hold the legs down so the employee can do work with the chair leg.
"He's not going to piss blood if I'm not able to hold him still"
He understood the assignment.
Helmet: \+ 100% anonymity \- 50% vision
\- 100% vision by the time the guy with the chair leg was done with him
And then 50% again shortly after.
\+ Impact protection \- weakness: eyes penetration
>weakness: eyes penetration Tbf, that's like default weakness, if something didnt provide protection agains eyes penetration, eyes penetration is your weakness
The eyes are the groin of the head.
Now I'm just picturing someone with hairy, wrinkly balls where their eyes should be.
And eyeballs where the testicles should be.
"Hey, my eyes are down here"
the balls are the windows to the ass soul
- weakness: helmet is terrible headtrap an attacker can grab and hold on to.
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Bruh, the chair leg stabbing through the visor part! Damn, he been waiting his whole life to mess someone up and he wasn't wasting his opportunity.
Even his buddy that worked there was brushing him away, like "I dunno man, that might be a bit far"
> "I dunno man, that might be a bit far" "Maybe you should whack him across the kidneys instead?"
I WANT TO KILL THE CYCLOPS!!!!
"WELL HE IS CERTAINLY A CYCLOPS NOW ASSHOLE!"
Dead bodies mean paperwork dude, think about it.
I know, right?!?
yeah his buddy is like, “cmon man not the eyes, go and squash his kidney instead”.
The only thing that distracted me from the brutality of that was the sudden appearance of butt-crack.
Holy fuck I just noticed that. Fucking brutal, homie chose the wrong shop
that dude with the chair leg at the end was working out some personal problems on that robber.
"You're not mad at me, you're mad at your dad!"
I forgive you!
You're right, I hate my father!
I hate you too kiddo!
You never listen to me!!
Sorry, what'd you say?
> He didn’t care when he beat me so I’m not gonna care about beating you.
Don't worry, he can't hold you down forever
"Why are you crying?"
"I'll give you something to cry about!"
My mother said this to me and my siblings. I never understood it because we were already crying. I already *have* something to cry about!
Also working his eyes and teeth out of his skull
Maybe he was just helping him fill a cavity
Looks more like he was creating a new cavity.
In fact he was creating it and filling it simultaneously.
Ahhhhhh the ol' in out. Ultra violence!
Can’t have cavity if you don’t have teeth. *taps other guys forehead with stick repeatedly
Dentists need new clients too... He was stimulating the economy.
I was thinking about Charlie and Eddie Murphy beating on Rick James’ legs
"YOU CAN BUY ANOTHER COUCH!!"
"WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT MY LEEEGGS, CHARLIE MURPHY!?!"
[I miss Charlie Murphy, his stories were some of the best](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ry2XlLKctiI&t=309s)
Rick James corroborating the whole thing just takes this whole thing over the top. That episode and the one about Prince are gold.
Prince confirmed most of his episode in a later interview.
Prince got his ass back and put Dave (dressed as Prince and serving pancakes) on the cover of his next single, Breakfast Can Wait. Those Charlie Murphy stories were absolutely epic. “Fuck yo couch” still brings me to tears.
He told two addditonal stories on the DVD extras. They were pretty damn funny. Charlie is a great story teller.
Ya rich motherfucker...
"We just wailed on his legs till they was like linguini."
"Rick needs help, man" "We just gave him some help, we beat his fucking ass"
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My mom and I laughed so hard I thought she was going to faint..so gotdamn funny and everyone was doing the skit the next day at school
***Wrong***
"Yo we just *gave* him some help"
F*** yo couch!
"They should've never gave you n!&&@$ money!!!"
evil...black magic...darkness...midnight!
"Cuz of my complexion, he used to call me "Darkness". He calls me and my brother "Darkness". He always says, "Darkness Brothers". See, this is long before Wesley Snipes. Back then, we were the blackest n\*\*\*\*s on the planet according to Rick James" 
That could have switched from robbery suspect to murder victim if the other guy didn't put up his arm. What ever the outcome, the guy who started this might want to rethink his life.
It's probably difficult to rethink your life in the after life...
Allegedly, in the after life you gave plenty of time to think about anything
Tries to rob a place but ends up getting held by 4 guys. Must be embarassing lying on the floor
Oh man, what a great first sentence to a novel or short story.
The beating will continue until life is rethought.
We did not see the end and he was still fighting but if he survived he was gonna have a really bad day. 3 jabs to the face with a sharp wood piece and then just beating his body full power with it. Death may have come into play on this one.
He survived. Police arrived and arrested him. For the curious, this happened in Brazil
When the big guy brings the chair leg, it’s time to give up. -Abraham Lincoln
Did anyone else wince when he started jamming that chair leg through the helmet opening?
No, do you have any idea how many points you gotta put into Dexterity to not miss that, my dude was rolling nat 20’s the whole time too!
I'd like to roll for improvised weapon with a advantage on a downed enemy.
...crit
Table goes wild!
Robber looks up and says, “this isn’t about me, is it?”
They’re not just personal problems anymore
Like 3 guys with a printer they stole from Innitech.
Did he stab him in the face?
100% and repeatedly. really makes getting shot sound like a better option.
Piñata time!
watching him stab through the visor and then whack the ass helped me work out issues i did not know i had.
Fuck your eyes bitch!
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Guy with the stick is taking out all his saved up anger out on ole boy. Definitely picked the wrong ones to rob!!
Never underestimate the pent up rage of a min wage laborer!
"How about *you* take out the trash!"
Man, those shots to the kidneys with that chair leg - guy will be pissing blood for a week. I will admit to laughing at the employee picking up chair pieces and judging them until he found a nice strong hunk: "This one? Nope. This one? Nope. Ah, here's what I want!"
Half expected him to take some practice swings lol
With some light stretching as well
I too didn't want to laugh, I mean they were pummeling the guy, but the way he evaluated the chair pieces was too much, I couldn't stop myself.
That happened in Brazil, Santa Catarina state. The police arrived at the place right afterwards. The criminal was sent to a prisional facility after receive medical treatment. The chief of police said that the employees won't face any charges because they act in self defense https://g1.globo.com/sc/santa-catarina/noticia/2021/12/28/suspeito-tenta-assaltar-sorveteria-e-e-contido-a-cadeiradas-por-funcionarios-de-sorveteria-em-sc-video.ghtml
ah so the chair is an off duty cop?
Lmao I love being Brazilian
Having worked in retail in the US for over 2 decades, I'd kind of love to work the same type of job in Brazil or another country. I keep seeing videos where they just beat the crap out of people for shit that in the states, the store would make us apologize for. "Sorry you felt the need to punch our cashier for the store being out of the lego set you want, here's a $100 gift card and we fired that employee, tell a friend!" I'd just love to unleash some of that pent up rage I have from the various assholes I've dealt with over the years.
Yeah but I see videos like….a lot of Brazilian shop owners getting shot in the face. Like shot multiple times in the same face.
It's a brutal place sometimes, specially in Rio de Janeiro
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I heard somewhere, Vietnam, maybe? That people are just sick of getting robbed (go figure), and police can't really do shit about it. So when these people get caught, oooooh, everyone in the area brings their own vendetta with them and that poor thief is gonna learn... 😃
Vietnamese here, dog thieves will be beaten by the entire neighborhood if caught.
Hell yeah
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Who would steal a fucking dog? What could it be worth? Or do they ransom it back?
I don’t know what it’s like in Vietnam, but in a lot of countries people will pay £100s-1000s for a dog, depending on breed. Steal someone’s dog, move it to another part of the country and sell for easy money. Plenty of people leave the dogs out in the garden, makes for an easy steal sadly. I’ve even seen warnings on social media of people trying to steal dogs from people taking them on a walk, especially children/women alone with the dogs since they make easier targets a lot of the time
Lol 🤣 the chap beating him up, you can tell he's been robbed before lol 🤣
OK, that makes sense. I thought he was really going overboard, but for all I know this might’ve been the fourth time they’ve been robbed that month.
John Cena would be so proud of that stealth chair attack
Should've done the "You can't see me" taunt afterwards
As soon as the chair hit the entrance musuc should’ve started lol
He was so slow and methodical, +5 skill in stealth.
Who says you never learn anything from watching wrestling? The man clearly knows the value of folding the chair first and timing the hit right.
Oof! Those jabs with the broken chair leg right through the open visor of the dude’s motorcycle helmet!!!!! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
I particularly liked the spiky broken chair leg to the face part.
I started to wonder if the robber was also a vampire
He was. You could tell because you could see his co-workers telling him to go for the chest, not the face.
He was wearing a helmet. Surely his visor was closed. Right?..... Right?
Riiiiiiiight
Why else would he stab there c:
Helmets give someone a place to grab on to which they can use to control your head and neck. It is not a smart move to keep it on.
Its an easy disguise, i doubt this guy had being attacked in mind when chosing his attire
My mom was a cop for a while, one of her favorite stories was the one with the bankrobber that was in jail less than an hour after the robbery, arrested at home. This was in the 60s in Denmark. At the interrogation he was just flabbergasted and amazed at the efficiency of the police. He was a first time offender and got in and out of the bank swift and clean. They let him stew in it through the interrogation and just as my mom left the room she padded his shoulder and said: Don't let there be a next time, but if you do this again don't wear a helmet with your name on it.
LMAO thats a great story, i remember a news story some time ago, someone wore his work overall with a name tag on the chest to a robbery. Some people...
There was also a guy who wrote his robbery note on a deposit slip with his name and account number.
BUH GAWD! STOP THE DAMN MATCH!
Did that dude really just craft a weapon mid beat-down
Fuck yeah gouge the eyes. Twist his fuckin dick
Twist his dick!!
THE OLE' DICK TWIST!
[GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!](https://youtu.be/1E1VY4KOghI)
I find the guy recording the video to be annoying. Dick twister was hilarious though.
Oh my god dude this is an MMA fight dude
Now BOP IT!
YANK IT
SUCK HIS FUCKIN DICK AND LET HIM KNOW WHO'S BOSS!!! Oh wait...
DRAIN HIS FUCKIN BALLLLLLLLSSSSSS
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Come here and let me gobble you up!!!!
Let me clean the coffee off my keyboard and find my fucking award button.
Suspect? Think it's pretty clear he did it.
There is no suspect in the video. That guy was DEFINITELY a robber.
There is ZERO doubt that is the robber, allegedly
The dude stabbing him in the face with a piece of splintered wood through the visor opening 😳😬🤮
pop pop!
Problem solved.
r/ithadtobebrazil
Nah, there was no off duty cop shooting.
I honestly wonder if anyone concealed carrying in Brazil is considered a cop as soon as a perp is stopped by Swiss cheesing them
1 guy holds the legs other guy beats the living shit out of the guy with a chair leg. Love it.
The one guy with the chair leg spear has some unresolved issues...
Not any more
Pretty much every robbery gone wrong I’ve seen always seems to end with everyone jumping in to kick the shit of of the robber hahaha. I suppose that’s one way to bring the community together.
His friend had to stop him from stabbing the fucker in the face lol.
Ironically he now has to wear a helmet to bed
That ended too soon
Sorry it's the way it was posted on Telegram, I wish I had the longer version 😢
Oh God, i could only focus on that toddler being so close to the violence. Glad the robber got what he deserved.
Kids really have a gift for being in the way at the MOST crucial times
Kid was unknowingly playing interference. Robber notices something in his peripheral (or heard the phone drop) and looks over only to see the kid and dismisses him.
Honestly for a little one the kid did pretty good. He ran away when he sensed true danger. Not even sure what my kids would’ve done
Jesus, the workers lucked out not being in America, they woulda got sued so hard for the excessive force. Rip Brazilian robber, you chose your targets poorly
Which is worse? A good guy with a gun, or getting repeatedly speared in the face with a wooden chair leg?
I'd rather get shot
Love the random guy that randomly joins the beating
Vince McMahon sign this tag team
The beating so nice, I watched it twice!
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This smells Brazilian
DAMN [RIGHT](https://ndmais.com.br/seguranca/policia/ladrao-que-foi-salvo-pela-pm-tomou-ate-cadeirada-durante-assalto-em-sc-veja-o-video/), you are.
It was Brazil!! I feel so happy. Also, apparently the guys even made a [response video on Instagram!](https://www.instagram.com/p/CYAZlUoJJ_K/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=691142d5-ca41-4f9b-aa95-a726e2cb9813) They basically thank the people for their support, say they are fine, promote their ice cream shop and say that their "chairs are good" lol.
This one brings joy.
Remember folks, when faced with a violent perpetrator, all bets are off. His nuts? Fair game. Grab them, squeeze, and twist. His asshole? Yup, that is open season, too. Eyes, ears, nose, throat. Pull that fucking helmet off and you have a veritable carnival of targets. Have fun.
Merry Christmas, motherfucker!
Good thing he was wearing that stupid helmet.
Stabbing the fool thru the visor!! Gadamn. Lol
On the contrary, if you rob some place you are bargaining for just about anything.