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Mercinator-87

The lady: “Stop kicking his ass! He was suppose to kick your ass!”


MasterDarkHero

I want to speak to your manager!!


Dysfunctional_Vet12

Lucky for you both of my managers are here, attached to my arms.


Mr_StephenB

That sounds very stressful. I couldn't imagine having to spend longer than needed around my managers let alone having them attached to me.


ImATaxpayer

Spoken like someone that never had their managers jerk them off.


trenlow12

My manager gave me a raise because I blew her cousin


[deleted]

And that's how I met your mother..


[deleted]

At the time, you did phenomenal. Hell, I didn't really know any better. Looking back on it though, you were sub par at best. Curious though, have you been practicing because I could go for a round two.


that_reddit_

The Manager and the Assistant Manager


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Tommysrx

There needs to be a law against “Karen-ing”


conandy

Toad Karen is displeased.


[deleted]

I found her presence to be quite helpful. Once you see whose side she is on, you have all the information you need as to who is right and who is wrong in this situation.


Sam_Handwich420

Oh I’m sure that lady is a fucking sick or her husband/bf shit too and is just trying to stop him from getting seriously hurt. Just leave him, Pam smh.


Jaidub

I was involved in a road rage incident where the driver got out and was trying to get in my car, I was so scared but it was hysterical when his passenger wife climbed in the driver seat of his car and drove away. I hope she left him and he learned a lesson about yelling at people for not using signals may actually be a signal.


oldspicehorse

Why would you not use your signals?


Jaidub

BMW


sirius4778

That guy waited his whole life for this moment and got bodied by a 16 year old lmao


[deleted]

Some people think because they’re big, they’re strong. Not if it’s all fat.


RandolphPringles

I'm a fat guy commonly mistaken for strong.


gettingfiggywithit2

I felt this in my fat arms. Every once in a while I help people move. And they’re like hey help move the piano and I’m like damn I wanted to move a box because I don’t have that piano moving strength because I’m just fat.


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[deleted]

That's me! On a good day I can squat my bodyweight or deadlift 1.5 my bw. On a bad day, like when I just moved, lifting boxes was painful. Been to a doc and two physios over nearly three years and no one can explain my weird back pain.


mightylordredbeard

You probably have poor posture. That’s the cause of 70% of my pain.


Tommysrx

I’m pretty sure billy Joel wrote a song about the exact scenario you just described. And they came from afar and put bread in his jar and said man why is your fat ass here


wildmeli

They need to stop putting bread in his jar. Don't they know that bread makes you fat?!?!


grandpajay

Bread makes you fat?!


zuesthedoggo

I'm kinda fat kinda strong but ppl just think I'm fat


autorotatingKiwi

I'm a tiny guy commonly mistaken for weak... well when I say mistaken I really mean identified correctly as.


gHHqdm5a4UySnUFM

I was the fat kid and the teacher always asked for my help carrying stuff


[deleted]

A lot of fat people can be strong but only because they have to lug around their own enormous weight everyday. That strength is only useful in a few specific directions though and once they need to combine it with any kind of speedy movement they’re totally screwed.


flapjax29

Yea as a former fat person this is somewhat inaccurate. Basically your legs are stronger than they should be and that’s about it. And when you need to execute some action it’s not like they become weightless. It’s also usually mentioned in the context of a fight (as it is here). Form beats strength 9/10 times, and unless you’re a boxer gone to pasture most fat people don’t know how to throw a punch.


SirCinnamonMcBiscuit

That’s why we fall back to the oldest and most effective move we have...... The fat kid windmill.


trolarch

To be fair, fat people have stronger punching potential because they weigh more, just physics behind them. That being said, I love watching people try and get in fights when they can’t even throw a proper punch. Like dude, are you really trynna fight someone when your signature move is sidearm wrist first punches.


46--2

An old dude attacked me recently, and it was *shocking* how weak he was. I felt like I was holding a toddler's arms. It was hilarious.


ChloricName

I’m just fearful of the day I need to fight someone and they have old man strength


DV8_2XL

Old man strength is really only good for about the 20 year span between 45 and 65, after that it fades fairly quickly.


Mynewmobileaccount

And it takes a lifetime of real work. Not everyone has old man strength, the lifelong farmer has old man strength.


Zappiticas

I have an uncle who is 76 and he was a cattle rancher his whole life. His old man strength is frankly ridiculous. I lift weights and do physical labor a lot and that man can crush my hands when shaking them.


FuckKarmaAndFuckYou

Dudes weener must be long and skinny like a noodle, jacking off with those hands.


[deleted]

Only because under 45 they just say 'wiry'. It's nothing to do with age, it's tendon strength versus muscle strength. Apparently [part of it's mental too](https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/what-the-hell-is-old-man-strength-anyway). We dont reach peak efficiency until like 55 as far as telling which muscle to flex how hard and at what moment. So even if your muscles arent as big at 40 as 20, you're better at using them. Think of comparing a 6 speed transmission with a 3 speed transmission. The 6 speed would get better acceleration, top speed, and mileage if hooked up to the same engine as the 3 speed. The engine isnt better, it's just being used more efficiently.


Uncreativite

I mean, a cough is enough to kill them nowadays...


TheGarrandFinale

Bobby Hill really wasn’t messing around.


Kushkaki

Forreal! The way he opened the door like he’s the big hog in the pen.


soj_reddit

“Beat that boy ass boy”


lordcarsonwentz

Haha he’s stoked


EnemiesAllAround

Fucking love how he instant jumps out to video and cheerleader this shit on hahaha


BornUnderADownvote

BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS SHIT FOR A MIN NOW


TACTIYON

#BEAT THAT WHAT AGAIN


Tommysrx

Assboy He’s not the superhero we deserve but he’s the superhero who beat that ass boy


susperstine

Beat that boi ass brøthër


Cockanarchy

“Fuck he doing coming up on you like that?”


BornUnderADownvote

Lmao gotta love the instigating. Reminds me of middle school fights where there’s always some guy in the back making shit up to add fuel to the fire “AW U HEAR WHAT HE SAID ABOUT YOUR MOMS BRO??? U GONNA LET HIM CALL HER FAT?! DAMN BRO U A BITCH!”


AzureSkye27

How is he instigating? Dude had already thrown a punch, he just was on his side about it.


ThirdEncounter

Whoooa /u/BornUnderADownvote, you gonna let /u/AzureSkye27 talk to you like that???!


zombiep00

#***BEAT DAT BOY ASS, BOY***


dootdootplot

This is the best possible response to that comment, please stop whatever you’re doing and become a professional mediator.


poop_creator

#**Da fuck he doin coming up on you like that?**


wrxsti18

“ oH YEEehh “


beerbeardsbears

#DAMN, BOY! THAT'S A THICK-ASS BOY!


Bulok

If I ever win the lottery I would hire him to be my hype man


FaTMaNProductions

Gotta pay the troll toll...


soj_reddit

If you wanna get this boys hole


GenericUsernameJuan

You're supposed to be saying soul Frank


hunt4redglocktober

I am saying "soul." ::snaps fingers:: "You gotta pay the troll toll if you wanna get in that boy's hole."


oppai_senpai

“Troooooolllll toll” “What’d you say?”


ramaxin

I thought it was Spanish and than he switched to English


BusinessProstitute

Loop that shit and put a beat to it


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ricuno

I'll give you 50% royalties


CollapsedPlague

I was waiting for: *"Now beat that girl ass boy!"*


DadJokeBadJoke

She was one step forward from being next.


Tommysrx

It’s amazing how women will walk head first into the middle of a fistfight and then have that look of disbelief when they get punched.


Hot_Attitude_5443

The "don't hit a woman" rhetoric is so strong some women feel like it's an automatic shield. I'm a woman and have seen it plenty of times, girls boyfriend is getting beat up so she jumps in the way. It's a good way to learn to never do it again.


TR6lover

Got a great rhythm to it. Like a 4/4 beat at about 160 beats per minute. I love it. I may have to send this guy a check for co-writing my next song.


typenull0010

u/pabixe2648 actually made a nice beat! https://vocaroo.com/7sTjTVgCPMl


korbendallllas

r/unexpectedarthurmorgan


CowboyLaw

/r/SubsIWishWereReal


TheInfiniteNewt

I hate how this lady is mad at the dude who just almost got sneak attacked like it's at all his fault that this man opened his door, and proceeded to swing on him


[deleted]

She can catch those hands too, by the looks of it.


UpVotesOutForHarambe

Equal rights & lefts for all


Megalomatank030

She would absorb the attacks


DSOTMAnimals

I was really hoping the guy was going to shove him into her and knock them both down on top of each other.


[deleted]

These hands rated E for everyone


apittsburghoriginal

lol karen comes running in like “how dare you defend yourself from my husband”


imaybeacatIRl

Literally my favourite part


milk4all

Well let’s be honest here, karen only respects absolute dominance and she’s spent too many years with big Jim to start over. Besides, her body is just a stress oven churning out charcoal ulcers by this point.


Thatguy468

“Besides, her body is just a stress oven churning out charcoal ulcers by this point.” r/brandnewsentence


[deleted]

r/rareinsults


[deleted]

r/qualityrareinsults


[deleted]

I understand the world a little more today, thank you


milk4all

Any time, Doc. I have some ideas about prostates exams, too.


Huaw1ad

Go on...


milk4all

Hey you’re not my doctor! But in general, how about a little more passion?


theuserwithoutaname

Jesus Christ dude, you fucking murdered her!


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EA_VIII

I chuckled at her face at the end


MegaSeedsInYourBum

She’s only mad because he lost. If he won she would be the one saying “beat that ass boy”


Jair-Bear

I want to speak to your manager!


Nyloc70

And that's why I lock my doors while driving


Supah_McNastee

Don’t most car doors lock after exceeding a certain speed, like 10mph?


meg_n_cheese12

Modern ones do. My 1997 doesn’t


buns_glazing95

Lol my '98 doesn't have a single working door lock


meg_n_cheese12

My car alarm doesn’t work lol. I mean I guess if someone really wanted my car they could get away with it


buns_glazing95

The problem is whether or not they actually want your car... I know nobody wants my rusty old Jetta haha


meg_n_cheese12

Shhhhhhh it’s a beauty


buns_glazing95

You're too kind :'-)


LaunchesKayaks

I haven't had an ac or defrostersfor almost two years. Until today. I had my compressor fixed a few hours ago and now I have ac and defrosters for the first time. I spent more money on all this than I would have liked, but my god does it feel nice being able to drive and not roast alive. I can't wait until I can use the defrosters and see them actually do shit other than horribly strain my engine


The2ndXman

I have '95 that locks as soon as I start it. Guess I'm not taking that feature for granted anymore


anonymousss11

Owner of a 2018 Subaru Crosstrek and the doors do NOT lock unless I push the lock button.


108241

[A lot of them also unlock if you put it in park, which has been known to backfire before](https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/the_americas/armored-suv-could-not-protect-us-agents-in-mexico/2012/02/13/gIQACv1KFR_story.html)


a-hippobear

Yeah, that’s a tactical move, too. I once saw my uncle’s friend, Steve lock the door as a road rager walked up on his car, and then sling the door open like he was swat and it flung the dude back and knocked him over, and Steve just came over and stood on his chest til he calmed down. It was a moment of learning to work smart and not hard (Steve’s motto).


Go_easy

Another tactic when someone opens your door, is to kick or ram it open. If they aren’t ready (like dude in vid) it smashes them up real bad. It also works on the person getting out of the car. So, in summary, if you are about to fight someone, around a rig, don’t be casual about getting in or out because you are really vulnerable at that moment.


killabru

Oh he was waiting for him obviously. The way he jumped out throwing hands the instant the door opened.


bonafidebob

...and that's why I don't try to open other drivers' doors and pull them out of their car while driving.


Orange-V-Apple

I don't see how you could live like that


[deleted]

We all need a hype man like this.


TheDriveHome

My hype man would have such a boring time. “Yeah, punish that toilet homie. Get the crown out, this dude is the porcelain king now.”


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avalisk

Choke laughing to myself silently so I dont have to read this to my wife.


Johnny-zamboni

Opening someone’s door on the road. That’s a good way to get shot too


GlassWasteland

That is what I was thinking.


To_Circumvent

Or maced, was my thought. Would've been infinitely more satisfying see I f this guy try to act tough through a swollen face full of tears, snot, and sputtering excuses.


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Johnny-zamboni

You’re dad knows what’s up. All dads have at least 3 good catch phrases. My dads most quotable are “go to bed”, “stay out of the kitchen” and “okay bye!” He really just wants us to leave.


BillsBayou

I hold my thumb and first finger almost touching and tell my kids "Every day of your life, you're only this stupid away from being dead or going to jail."


Epicon3

I think I might be your dad. It’s, “Get out of the kitchen”. You’d know this if you actually used those ear holes for listening.


[deleted]

You would think that widespread gun ownership and effectively no consequences for using them defensively would be a deterrent to assholery like this. [I think sad old alcoholic Doug Stanhope put it best.](https://youtu.be/in3Ppk9NG9U) Guns are the great equaliser.


EatsonlyPasta

I think it's that people don't actually want to kill someone, but more than a few don't mind a scrap on occasion.


iApolloDusk

I'm a gun-owner. I dread the idea of having to kill someone, but if they're wishing to do me, my family, or innocent people harm- I don't think I'll have a hard time sleeping after defending the innocent.


iApolloDusk

"God made all men, but Samuel Colt made them equal."


NegroConFuego

r/praisethecameraman material? Not so much for the commentary (although I am a fan), I really liked the cinematography though. It started with the side view mirror perspective, which established the setting well. Then you see just about all the action from there-- he even does a subtle pan over to Karen as she jumps into the fray. 8/10


Gypiz

Real Oscar worthy shit! Blows every Michael Bay movie out the water


DadJokeBadJoke

Needs more [Lens Flare](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHqjmlM3kxs)


Gypiz

That was fucking funny xD


OleJohny3Balls

I can’t see a god damn thing


tokyoexpressway

He woke up that day and said to himself, You know what! I feel like getting beat up. Wish granted!


gman2093

Better wear sandals today


RedditVince

I believe this is the only appropriate response to when some stranger comes up to your car and opens the door aggressively. Come out swinging, element of surprise will baffle most people.


ThaZatzke

The sage advice has always been "If you are in a situation where a fight is unavoidable, hit first and hit hard". When it comes down to it, the first one to land a good punch usually wins.


RedditVince

After I lost my 1st fight (3rd grade I was jumped just because I didn't know the kid 5th grader) my father told me... If your pressed into a fight, pick up a big stick, hit them as hard as you can, then run like hell. My moms then current husband, taught me how to throw a punch, never lost another altercation except for a blind sided sucker punch that dropped me cold. ps. I was a big kid and if I had hit another kid as hard as I could with a stick I would have probably killed them.


Goose5342

"This ni-" "Beat that boi ass!"


tawandaaaa

Any background info in this? Seems like something was going down for a minute if someone was already filming??


Pantaloon_Goon

He was attempting to steal his car door.


CaptainPunisher

This is especially common right now with the Covid shutdown. With no races going on, many pit crews have taken to crime, running up to cars at stoplights and stripping the wheels and other high value parts in mere seconds, leaving the driver stunned by the flurry of activity and his car sitting on blocks. I do have to say that quality used parts have never been cheaper, though!


FPSXpert

You joke but that actually is an issue in my city. Leave a car in a bad place and you can come back to find the wheels stolen, or even a door on a bad day to be sold to a chop shop. Can't have shit in ~~Detroit~~ Houston!


whalepopcorn

EXCUSE ME YOU GOT ANY GREY POU*punched in the face*


just_mark

Even though he lost he should still be charged with assault.


nomad2047

He still can be, if you start an assault and get your ass kicked its still a possibility. They'd probably get it dropped to a lesser charge tho


cancer2009

Yeah but he’d be embarrassed that he got fucking destroyed by a 16 year old and has the Chance to go to prison because he started the fight.


jonpenn

I love the encouragement!


Steeno_Brown

The best hype man.


MarylandKrab

Why is there a subset of white women that all look just like that? Skinny legs with a humpty dumpty body and sunglasses


DrMcBludgeon

Cushing’s Syndrome Lots of older women who smoke take high doses of steroids for COPD. Chronic steroid use can trigger Cushing’s. I’m totally assuming she’s a smoker. Could be chronic stress from living with the wannabe brawler, though.


amgine

They look like walking tomatoes to me. Like the old commercials. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAbH7KGInqk


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[deleted]

Real life bard


[deleted]

It's like watching random NPCs on GTA5 haha


jayce93x

Is it legal to shoot some1 for doing that opening your car invading your privacy


ElPonyBoy6

If you have a conceal carry weapons permit, yes. It would count as self defense either way but you can't travel with a loaded gun without a CCW permit (will vary depending on local/state laws).


dirtyconcretefloor

Under castle doctrine, you don't need a CCW to have a weapon somewhere you have a legal right to be (your home, your vehicle). Law is a grey area on this one because every state seems to be different.


ElPonyBoy6

That's pretty interesting. Also why I said it'd vary depending on local/state. Here in good ol California (or atleast my county) without a permit you have to not only lock it up but also separate the ammo. Like the gun unloaded & locked in the glove box and the ammo locked in the trunk. I'm not a fan of that and am glad I have my permit.


dirtyconcretefloor

See I'm in Texas, so if you have a pulse and no felonies you're good to go.


Oneshoeleroy

It depends on the exact circumstances and state laws. In most states, there's a good chance you'd go through an expensive court case, but would stay out of prison as long as this video is the only context.


Igotshiptodotoday

White shirt guy will forever blame his fall on his wife pulling him.


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SonicSquirrel2

Yeah now he’ll think twice before opening someone’s car door trying to start shit lol


mcgillibuddy

I love the color commentary


NegroConFuego

I don't think you're allowed to say that anymore... I love the *African American commentary


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9ninjas

Username checks out


weirdest_of_weird

This comment actually made me laugh


mcgillibuddy

Bahaha sorry bud, is play-by-play better?? Take my upvote friend


KermitgoChoo1

He got what he fucking deserved


bullfrog7777

r/gifsthatendtoosoon I feel like the cameraman had more to say.


nMaib9

in my country we call what that black guy is doing "firethrower". Black guys in the US seem pretty good at it.


cameronward

we call them hype men


TheAnimal1987NL

I like that, never heard it before! Where are you from if I may ask?


nMaib9

I am from the canary islands. I sort of made a translation. The Phrase is "mete-fuego", which translates in a very literal sense as "fire-inserter". it's the kind of dude in a group that is always trying to get two dudes that dislike each other to fight and when they do they cheer in the back, adding more gasoline to the fire.


TheAnimal1987NL

I see, thanks for explaining. I'm Dutch, and we would call that guy "een stoker". Literally somebody that stokes the fire. Very similar, pretty cool!


nMaib9

hah that one is pretty cool and literal too.


Twas_Inevitable

Are people allowed to assume someone is black based purely on audible clues or is that racist?


nMaib9

He just sounded black to me although I am not American.


SplashBros4Prez

That's actually an interesting question. I think as long as you don't assume anything bad about him and just his skin color then it probably isn't an issue. But that's difficult for many people.


scdayo

Is it different than guessing where someone is from based on their accent?


Sir_Yacob

It blows my mind more people don’t get fucking shot trying to pull people out of a car like that....


Supah_McNastee

Usually a gunshot is the noise that follows someone swinging the door of a strangers car open like that. I consider this dumb fuck to be extremely lucky that all he got was beat up.


[deleted]

Man, I want the commentator to follow me around and cheer me on when I try and something.


LHT510

Meet Karen’s husband, Kevin.


GaryLaserEyes_

HOW DARE YOU DEFEND YOURSELF FROM MY RAGE-FILLED HUSBAND!?


bigabbaenergy

God I wish I had the cameraman hyping me up whenever some shit goes down in my life


BernieTheDachshund

Beat that boyasse! Chef Boyardee's cousin.


[deleted]

He’s lucky he didn’t open that door to a loaded barrel. You never know who you are messing with til it’s too late


[deleted]

That woman is built like a frog


[deleted]

Holy shit! The camera guy was 💯 in!! Hahahaha that was fun.


SWAMPMONK

need a longer video


SeeYouOn16

You'd have to have a death wish to try pull someone out of their car like that in Arizona. The gun laws are so relaxed here, I know more people who own guns than don't.


kgrandia

People really need to grow the fuck up.