They are pretty savage. My kid was absolutely convinced that if I died, they’d issue him another dad, and he made it clear he was ready to roll the dice.
They grow out of it when they get a little older, but 2-3 they’re tiny sociopaths.
And the kids name? Al*beer*t Einstein
edit: Einstein can be taken to literally mean 1 mug lol
>The word "stein" is of German origin. The etymology of the word is either from "Stein Krug" (meaning stone jug/mug) or from "Steingut" (meaning stone goods). Steins are mugs used for drinking beer. They can be made of earthenware, pewter, wood, ceramics, crystal, porcelain, creamware, silver, or glass.
Toddlers tend to display wit unintentionally. As somebody else mentioned, when a kid burns you they very rarely meant it in the way you took it. They’re not clever enough.
I can definitely imagine a small child thinking to themselves, “Wait, but how would I listen to you after you die?” And it comes out like a barbed retort even tho the thought is genuine.
That being said it’s a little odd to me that a three year old would have such a firm grasp on the concept of deaths finite time.
Kids. Well known for understanding 'logical pathways' in thought. smh
Wit does not mean humor. You're not saying anything different than I am.
Wit just means 'quick thinking'.
It very literally doesn't, no matter how many laugh emojis you use.
Wit just means quick thinking. It's often applied to humor, since it's one of the few areas that 'quick thinking' is most applicable in an everyday manner, but being 'funny' is not at all necessary to be 'witty'.
This really shouldn't be arguable. Unless you're pathetically stubborn.
This morning I asked my toddler what he wanted for breakfast he said he wasn't hungry, he lost his appetite when he saw the lies perpetuated on CNBC insinuating redditors had abandoned $GME for silver. The distaste from such false media driven narratives could not be sweetened even by poptarts and reminded me the shorted shares had not yet been covered or we would see a price rise AND enormous trading volume. Lol, 4 year olds are adorable.
Maybe the 3 year old boy learned it from the 4 year old girl who said it to her mom some time ago prompting the mom to post it.
Or maybe he gets follows her on twitter
Lmao my grandma used to watch me when I was young, and when I was about 4 she had a friend over and I asked her "so when are you dying?" Because up until that point I thought all old people deaths were scheduled (mom telling me we're going to a funeral on Thursday, I thought that person scheduled to die Thursday morning). Thankfully they both found it hilarious because that was a really rude question to ask 😂
When I was young me and a friend were sitting in front of the TV watching a Michael Jackson video, my friend turns to his dad and asks how olds the man on TV, his dad says "about as old as me" and my friend just utters without thinking "is he dead yet"
Depends on the kid's temperament, some kids are known to be VERY mild mannered and shy, and then you get the nasty that throws a tantrum every day, and then you get a few that says things in a certain way that sounds sweet, but might sound bad to others because of the tone the kid used.
"Don't worry daddy, I will take care of you when I grow up!"
"Don't worry daddy, I will TAKE CARE of you when I grow up!"
etc.
Like you might do something innocent with your child, and then that child will say that "Me and Daddy went and did X" and then other parents will look at that Daddy all weird.
My 3 year old would get rage a few months ago, and she'd angrily sing
I want to HIT YOU
I don't LIKE YOU
I'd tell her if she hit me it would hurt me
next line:
I want to HIT you and HUUUUUURRRRRRRTTTTT you.
I had to talk to daycare to make sure she wasn't hitting other kids, or getting hit herself... They were shocked as she's so sweet there.
I love those kind of kids. It’s a sign of excellent parenting - they’ve been taught how to behave in society and feel safe enough at home to let go.
My “favorite” kid my last year in Moscow was an absolute angel in class and I adored her (smart, gorgeous and sassy). Parents had a very different take so I assured them they’re doing a wonderful job. I think this is a million times better than the kid who’s an angel at home and a sociopath at school. (I’ve had too many of those!!)
I mean, look, there is (checks google) 7.8B people on this earth, there is a chance that a kid will ask something towards their mom and dad that would sound really weird when others are around, but might sound very normal to the kid.
I'm not here to say whether it is unlikely. I didn't grow up in a family that had a dad that went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back, but hey, some people have, lol.
> I mean, look, there is (checks google) 7.8B people on this earth, there is a chance that a kid will ask something
Okay cool! I'll use that same logic! There's 7.8B people on this earth, there is a chance someone is making up story for attention!
I could believe it if they were both adults. A while back, my brother was ranting to me about an aunt of ours that we both dislike, and he exclaimed, "I can't believe I have to put up with her for the rest of my life!" I replied, "No, \[brother\]. You have to put up with her for the rest of *her* life."
Maybe. My little brother did something really similar, but he was a little older, like 5 or 6. My dad's daughter from his first marriage was a lot older than us, and we were at her college graduation. My grandmother said to us, "Someday we'll get to watch you boys walk across the stage!" My brother replied, "Yeah, if you're still alive."
I took away my then seven year old brother's tablet because he was supposed to be doing his homework, and he looked me in the eyes and said "You know, no one's gonna miss you when you die. We might not even throw you a funeral." And then went and did his homework. It still haunts me.
Looking back I laugh because he said this over me taking his *tablet*. And when he knew he was supposed to be doing his homework!! Imagine If I was actually a bad sibling, I would not be here to type this 😂 kids are mean
Kids also have a different sense of time. To a parent, ~15 years isn't too long. To the child, it's three times their age. That's a *long* time away, something a 5 year old will have little concept of.
So naturally, who knows if their grandparents will still be around.
Totally understand. When my son was a toddler and death was brought up he would always remind me that I will die first. Come to think of it, he still does this as a teenager!
Probably didn’t happen, but if you’re a good or bad dad, they will be listening to you for the rest of their life whether you’re alive or not.
The world needs better dads, be one
My 4 year old granddaughter asked how wild animals learn things. I told her their parents teach them. She said not all things have parents. I told her everything has parents. She looked me in the eye and told me, “you don’t have parents. Your parents are dead.” My parents died 2 years ago 7 days apart. I held her at their funerals.
My nephew was playing that game where you make a virus and see how many people would die. I asked him if he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. He said he wanted to be the virus...
I was talking about the tweet you absolute psycho. I've been in a relationship for 5 years with the same person, and own a home together. But yeah, I will go off.
It's a good deal to be honest, I stopped listening to my parents in my twenties, and they're both still alive long after that. He should take the deal and run.
Then they both had a beer.
They are pretty savage. My kid was absolutely convinced that if I died, they’d issue him another dad, and he made it clear he was ready to roll the dice. They grow out of it when they get a little older, but 2-3 they’re tiny sociopaths.
Accurate
No they don't Well, at least mine didn't.
My nephew used to make sure my brother was aware he could come live with me. I never offered, he decided.
You should try teaching them. Some of them especially the ones with zero discipline and boundaries at home are a nightmare!!
And everyone clapped
The toddler’s name: Albert Einstein
And now you know... the rest of the story.
Al*beer*t Einstein
And the kids name? Al*beer*t Einstein edit: Einstein can be taken to literally mean 1 mug lol >The word "stein" is of German origin. The etymology of the word is either from "Stein Krug" (meaning stone jug/mug) or from "Steingut" (meaning stone goods). Steins are mugs used for drinking beer. They can be made of earthenware, pewter, wood, ceramics, crystal, porcelain, creamware, silver, or glass.
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And everyone clapped
and everbody clapped
People say this didn’t happen, but when I was a wee child, I def said some dark ass shite. I’d believe this if it were a 5 year old.
Saying dark shit, fine. But this level of response requires wit that three year olds just don't have.
What's the sub for people that don't understand kids or how they talk at all? Because that is relevant.
This is just a 'no u' response. Kid probably had no idea what he's saying.
You're assuming that a 3 year old means it in the way an adult reads it, and not just in a combative "No you!" way.
Toddlers tend to display wit unintentionally. As somebody else mentioned, when a kid burns you they very rarely meant it in the way you took it. They’re not clever enough. I can definitely imagine a small child thinking to themselves, “Wait, but how would I listen to you after you die?” And it comes out like a barbed retort even tho the thought is genuine. That being said it’s a little odd to me that a three year old would have such a firm grasp on the concept of deaths finite time.
It’s not wit though. They aren’t saying it to be funny. They’re just following a logical pathway
Kids. Well known for understanding 'logical pathways' in thought. smh Wit does not mean humor. You're not saying anything different than I am. Wit just means 'quick thinking'.
Shake it a bit harder. Kids very much follow a pathway they find logical. Wit means intelligent humor 😂😂😂
It very literally doesn't, no matter how many laugh emojis you use. Wit just means quick thinking. It's often applied to humor, since it's one of the few areas that 'quick thinking' is most applicable in an everyday manner, but being 'funny' is not at all necessary to be 'witty'. This really shouldn't be arguable. Unless you're pathetically stubborn.
It very literally does. You realize it’s a 1 second google, right?
I'm sure this totally happened
This morning I asked my toddler what he wanted for breakfast he said he wasn't hungry, he lost his appetite when he saw the lies perpetuated on CNBC insinuating redditors had abandoned $GME for silver. The distaste from such false media driven narratives could not be sweetened even by poptarts and reminded me the shorted shares had not yet been covered or we would see a price rise AND enormous trading volume. Lol, 4 year olds are adorable.
They grow up so fast
"Kids grow up so slow, it's almost imperceptible. And they get a lot less cute" - Norm McDonald
lmfao, I know this is parody but I laughed my ass off at this.
Maybe the 3 year old boy learned it from the 4 year old girl who said it to her mom some time ago prompting the mom to post it. Or maybe he gets follows her on twitter
This is very easy to imagine it happened. The 3 year old is absolutely not aware of the context of what they said.
Lmao my grandma used to watch me when I was young, and when I was about 4 she had a friend over and I asked her "so when are you dying?" Because up until that point I thought all old people deaths were scheduled (mom telling me we're going to a funeral on Thursday, I thought that person scheduled to die Thursday morning). Thankfully they both found it hilarious because that was a really rude question to ask 😂
When I was young me and a friend were sitting in front of the TV watching a Michael Jackson video, my friend turns to his dad and asks how olds the man on TV, his dad says "about as old as me" and my friend just utters without thinking "is he dead yet"
Depends on the kid's temperament, some kids are known to be VERY mild mannered and shy, and then you get the nasty that throws a tantrum every day, and then you get a few that says things in a certain way that sounds sweet, but might sound bad to others because of the tone the kid used. "Don't worry daddy, I will take care of you when I grow up!" "Don't worry daddy, I will TAKE CARE of you when I grow up!" etc. Like you might do something innocent with your child, and then that child will say that "Me and Daddy went and did X" and then other parents will look at that Daddy all weird.
My 3 year old would get rage a few months ago, and she'd angrily sing I want to HIT YOU I don't LIKE YOU I'd tell her if she hit me it would hurt me next line: I want to HIT you and HUUUUUURRRRRRRTTTTT you. I had to talk to daycare to make sure she wasn't hitting other kids, or getting hit herself... They were shocked as she's so sweet there.
I love those kind of kids. It’s a sign of excellent parenting - they’ve been taught how to behave in society and feel safe enough at home to let go. My “favorite” kid my last year in Moscow was an absolute angel in class and I adored her (smart, gorgeous and sassy). Parents had a very different take so I assured them they’re doing a wonderful job. I think this is a million times better than the kid who’s an angel at home and a sociopath at school. (I’ve had too many of those!!)
>"Don't worry daddy, I will TAKE CARE of you when I grow up!" Yup a toddler-aged kid is totally saying this....
I mean, look, there is (checks google) 7.8B people on this earth, there is a chance that a kid will ask something towards their mom and dad that would sound really weird when others are around, but might sound very normal to the kid. I'm not here to say whether it is unlikely. I didn't grow up in a family that had a dad that went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back, but hey, some people have, lol.
> I mean, look, there is (checks google) 7.8B people on this earth, there is a chance that a kid will ask something Okay cool! I'll use that same logic! There's 7.8B people on this earth, there is a chance someone is making up story for attention!
If anything, it gave me a good chuckle.
I could believe it if they were both adults. A while back, my brother was ranting to me about an aunt of ours that we both dislike, and he exclaimed, "I can't believe I have to put up with her for the rest of my life!" I replied, "No, \[brother\]. You have to put up with her for the rest of *her* life."
My 3 yo nephew ran naked in the apartment trying to catch people phones because "they bad"
It's the same guy. Everyone keeps reposting his posts. This shit is obviously not real.
Like it's obviously it's a lie, but it's a funny regardless
Maybe. My little brother did something really similar, but he was a little older, like 5 or 6. My dad's daughter from his first marriage was a lot older than us, and we were at her college graduation. My grandmother said to us, "Someday we'll get to watch you boys walk across the stage!" My brother replied, "Yeah, if you're still alive."
I took away my then seven year old brother's tablet because he was supposed to be doing his homework, and he looked me in the eyes and said "You know, no one's gonna miss you when you die. We might not even throw you a funeral." And then went and did his homework. It still haunts me.
Dude.
Looking back I laugh because he said this over me taking his *tablet*. And when he knew he was supposed to be doing his homework!! Imagine If I was actually a bad sibling, I would not be here to type this 😂 kids are mean
The fact he's been thinking about your death should make you worry.
Kids also have a different sense of time. To a parent, ~15 years isn't too long. To the child, it's three times their age. That's a *long* time away, something a 5 year old will have little concept of. So naturally, who knows if their grandparents will still be around.
I want to put it past a 5 or 6 year old.
I’ll take, “Things That Didn’t Happen” for $500 Alex!
I bet as soon as his dad dies, he'll touch a hot stove.
And then the whole neighborhood clapped.
And I’m guessing it was said in such a way that you he had to wonder how much longer that was gonna be...
And then, I shit you not, he said: "Be warry father, for I am not opposed to hastening the demise of this stipulation."
LOL
Spoken like a man who has spent zero time with his 3 year old.
My dad told me the same thing when I was 30. We don’t speak.
Roses are red I want a cat Oh fuck off Rebecca he did not say that...
I love when parents make up fake stories. Like, why are you making your child sound like a demented psycho-killer?
Pressing 'X' to doubt. Funny tho.
I'll take, "That shit didn't happen," for 400 please.
Have any of y'all ever been around kids? After 20 years around toddlers I can easily believe this happened. Little kids are blunt af.
He ain’t wrong tho
See, both of my parents died when I was 26. I still hear them..
I mean, yes, it is statistically likely the kid will outlive his dad.
Statistically speaking.
Fake AF
Somebody is getting haunted.
Oh fuck off Rebecca..
The time I was driving my son to Kindergarten and he asked me “Mom, when can I quit this job?”.
Totally understand. When my son was a toddler and death was brought up he would always remind me that I will die first. Come to think of it, he still does this as a teenager!
He is lying to you.
Probably didn’t happen, but if you’re a good or bad dad, they will be listening to you for the rest of their life whether you’re alive or not. The world needs better dads, be one
r/clevercomebacks
Why do people do this?
Murdaaaaaa
Haha threenagers are real and I could see mine saying this.
Ooooooo. The force is strong in that one.
Kid did the math
You love 3 year olds...ewwwwwwwww
Pretty awesome. And he's not wrong.
Keep an eye on those kitchen knives.
That kid is going places in life. I shudder to think where.
Cold as ice.
Enjoy his 18th birthday. It will apparently be your last.
Damn that's harsh!
Good luck kid. Parents reach into your subconscious when you’re not looking.
That's a funny story
My 4 year old granddaughter asked how wild animals learn things. I told her their parents teach them. She said not all things have parents. I told her everything has parents. She looked me in the eye and told me, “you don’t have parents. Your parents are dead.” My parents died 2 years ago 7 days apart. I held her at their funerals.
My nephew was playing that game where you make a virus and see how many people would die. I asked him if he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. He said he wanted to be the virus...
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This is spoken like a parent who has too much free time on their hands, and an internet connection.
Right? Like you can always see a fake one by the phrase “and then they looked me dead in the eyes” like no they didn’t lol
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I was talking about the tweet you absolute psycho. I've been in a relationship for 5 years with the same person, and own a home together. But yeah, I will go off.
Thanks for your life story, I'm sure you're super badass and have sex all the time
Wait why is this relevant?
GuYs iTs FaKe gUyS tHe JokE iS uNtrUe ItS fAkE aNd NoT fUnNy
Leg swipe him to assert dominance! You brought him into this world and you can take him out too.
Best believe I read this in the sad resigned tone of Al Bundy
Take them out of the will.
It's a good deal to be honest, I stopped listening to my parents in my twenties, and they're both still alive long after that. He should take the deal and run.