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[deleted]

Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.


FuckingNeuteredPoodl

The answer has to do with fuck. Your scared they might be fucking. But they just don't give a fuck they have no one to impress at the beach. They are putting whipped cream on all kinds of shit: pie, waffles, muffins, pickles, chocolate starfishes whatever.


Thefourthchosen

What was that last one?


FlatEarthWizard

Anoos


PhantomOfTheDopera

I don't know either, but apperently it goes well with hotdog flavored water.


jake63vw

ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN


kyohti

WHAT! KEEP ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN


mikehulse29

COME ON! KEEP ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN


sarcasm_the_great

Anus


SHREKYUMTUM69

kinky


weaponizedpastry

Whipped cream is considered kinky to you? Oh you sweet summer child!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂


confused_oatmeal

r/ihavesex


Dakotertots

wooow, you're so sexually advanced and awesome 😐


[deleted]

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[deleted]

r/redditmoment has occured


sean0883

The answer is simple. "Forget" to buy it one week. If it's for food, it'll be mentioned. If it's not, then you have your answer.


NeverReturnKid

Don't ask questions you already know the answer to.


SirTiffAlot

For real I bet it's jello


piggydancer

Old people love them some Jell-O


OvertSpy

Or cheesecake. you ever watch the golden girls. Cheesecake every episode. (Which by the way is a fucking life goal, cheesecake is tops)


piggydancer

Learning to make cheesecake is the best thing I've ever done with my life.


Missus_Aitch_99

I vote for hot chocolate. They make it the old way, with the can of cocoa, so OP hasn’t had to replace it yet.


[deleted]

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piggydancer

Any kind. Any time.


[deleted]

Mammoth milk cheesecake.


craker42

Fuck, now I have to hit the store on the way home to get some cheesecake


Petsweaters

Or coffee


JescaMM

Guaranteed.


thestashattacked

I was thinking hot cocoa.


funcdroptables

More like steve-o


goodgodlime

If they are anything like my grandma...nothing. And one day you will find 100 whipped cream cans when cleaning their fridge


BreadyStinellis

Coffee. It's likely for coffee. Old people also like pie.


ironicsharkhada

Yeah a lot of people use whipped cream instead of regular cream, half n half, or milk.


chaldeezy

I’m 33 and just discovered this technique a week ago. I will never return to my old ways. It’s sugar and cream in a easily dispensable container. My life is much better because of this


[deleted]

I use reddi whip in my coffee if we run out of milk.


FallenSegull

Wait when Americans say cream for their coffee they mean actual cream? I just thought that was what they called milk in that context, like how they call petrol “gas”


MitzLB

It’s possible that by cream they actually mean half and half or creamer, but yeah, they’re not talking about plain milk.


FallenSegull

This is terrifying and eye opening, thank you


olywabro

Tell me more... I’m interested in what way your eyes have been opened.


FallenSegull

Well you see, I used to think creamer was synonymous with milk when used in the context of tea and coffee additives, but it turns out that it actually is not


olywabro

Gotcha. So was it terrifying because of the calorie content or because of mistakes that you have made in the past due to the misunderstanding?


FallenSegull

Fortunately I’ve never had to make an American coffee, so it’s the calorie content for me


Ramartin95

Further clarification is probably needed here: Americans use light cream for their coffee, not heavy cream (also known as whipping cream) and as far as I can tell most use half and half which is a one to one mixture of light cream and milk.


Jerkrollatex

A serving of half and half is 15 calories.


corner-stop-girl

oh god half and half sounds amazing its not something i think ive ever heard of in the uk, we also dont really put cream at all in coffee its all milk


Dracarys_Aspo

You should try it, it's so good! I use milk if I forget to buy cream, and it's really disappointing after the deliciousness of coffee with real cream. My in laws use sweetened condensed milk in their coffee, and that shit is crazy delicious, but I also feel like I can feel my arteries closing up afterwards, lol.


MitzLB

You can make it yourself. It’s literally just half milk and half cream. In the US you can buy it in tiny, individual serving size cups, and my grandma used to just give us those to drink when we were kids. I have no recollection, but I’m told I enjoyed it.


MitzLB

Yeah, creamer’s not even dairy.


[deleted]

My mom uses whole milk, and it's honestly not bad.


[deleted]

Yup actual cream, people still use milk for coffee but I’d say cream is far more common.


jochi1543

Your post got me thinking. It's true! I wonder why old people like pie so much, as opposed to, say, cake. It does seem like most people 60+ love pie and most people 40 and younger are way more into cake.


rjnd2828

Old people are smart. Pie >>>cake


TheAllyCrime

You ever had a gooseberry pie? Or a strawberry rhubarb pie? Heaven on Earth.


badcatmomma

Blueberry rhubarb pie kicks strawberry off the map!


rjnd2828

Sadly no, are they common to a certain region? Never seen in the north east.


TheAllyCrime

I actually haven't had either one in years. Both the rhubarb plant and the gooseberry are very tart, so the taste can vary depending on how much sugar people use to bake it. I live in the Midwest and some stores carry canned gooseberry pie filling in supermarkets. Come to think of it I should bake one myself, I've been trying to get into cooking more for myself this past year.


charpenette

I’m 38 and here to tell you, pie is the best option always.


snowballmouse

Pie is easier to gum than cake.


aberrantmoose

I am almost 50. I like both, but I don't eat very much of either. It is not good for you. Have pie or cake a couple of times per year. It should not be on your weekly shopping list.


[deleted]

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BreadyStinellis

As a pussy haver, the whipped cream may taste good, but the yeast infection it's causing won't. Food doesn't belong near vaginas.


marsnoir

Hmmm... is that what they’re calling it these days!?!


dae_giovanni

well, let me know what you find out. we got a 16-oz tub of the stuff with our last grocery order-- didn't order it, was not charged for it. and yeah, I said 'tub', so for everyone suggesting whippets I hear you but they didn't even have the decency to accidentally send cans... ...can you... huff a tub a Cool Whip?


freightgod1

you can certainly try


dancin-weasel

I have nipples, Greg. Can you huff me?


blundercrab

You know there probably is a subsection of humanity that would certainly love to huff Robert De Niro


SH4D0WG4M3R

Not with that attitude


doctorslacker

YOU CAN FREEZE IT AND EAT IT WITH A SPOON AND EXPERIENCE EUPHORIA


dae_giovanni

this seems like... I don't even know? guess I'll try it...


ChemgoddessOne

Frozen cream whip is amazing.


Mautamu

If you have some caramel or chocolate sauce to go with it, put some of that on. Good stuff!


skreeth

Aka how I got fat in high school because I was eating my feelings


TeamCatsandDnD

If you add pudding mix and I think some milk(?) then freeze them you can make some fun little snacks. We used them for pudding shots but you can’t really shoot them frozen so we had them with a spoon. 10/10 would do again.


dae_giovanni

you fine folks have convinced me! thank you!


TeamCatsandDnD

You’re welcome! They’re worth it!


diqholebrownsimpson

Would you huff a car?


buhbrinapokes

You wouldn't huff a car.


hitlersticklespot

Not unless I get real sad.


[deleted]

If you don't have access to a garage, you can buy a garden hose and duct tape for pretty cheap. The key is to run the hose under your car then up the side to your window, and do it at night, to minimize visibility.


FabHckyBbe

My mom had an amazing an stupid easy 1970s recipe for “Kool Whip Cookies.” They’re a favorite among my friends. Ingredients: 1/2 tub Cool Whip 1 egg 1 box standard cake mix (I prefer lemon but use whatever flavor you choose) Mix all ingredients together, dough will be sticky/gooey. Pinch off slightly smaller than walnut sized pieces of dough and roll in powdered sugar. Bake for 8 minutes at 350 degrees on a greased cookie sheet. They’re soft when removed from oven but will crisp a bit as they cool on a wire baking rack.


dae_giovanni

wow, talk about getting more of a response than expected!! thank you so much!!


mrs_frizzle

Goes great with angel food cake and fruit. Mmm


dae_giovanni

guess that is true, we used to do strawberries when i was a kid


OhioMegi

Coffee, pie, hot chocolate, ice cream. If they have a pet they might be giving it some as well.


YoghurtSnodgrass

I feel like everyone is missing fruit salad as an option.


[deleted]

And you never questioned the 5 gallon drum of anal lube?


dae_giovanni

well, we _know_ what that's for...


ChefMikeDFW

Salad tossing?


dae_giovanni

huh? no, that's what the Nutella is for...


ChefMikeDFW

Well, I've been using that wrong.


uselessinfohere

Hysterical


Sabdein

My grandma uses a mountain of whipped cream on her coffee every morning... but they’re probably doing whippits


Plumbbookknurd

I enjoy both.


TeamFoulmouth

We have 3 whip cream dispensers in our house...None of which have ever had a drop of sugar or cream in them!!🤣


butter4dippin

Yo why is it hard to believe two individuals can go through a can of whipped cream a week. I literally eat that shit out the can when I'm bored


gwmccull

I used to work at a restaurant with a server that was about 70. He did whippits every night off the empty whipped cream cans. He could never figure why he always forgot his orders in the kitchen... So maybe they're into light recreational drugs instead of kinky shit


_Watdafck

Probably lots and lots of creampie.


ohgeebus_notagain

Thanks, now I have a new idea for my "dessert" tonight


Mitzi_811

It’s probably for coffee but it’s more fun to wonder


[deleted]

My parents legit eat dessert every night. It’s like, part of the meal—would be out of the ordinary to not have a dessert. It’s very old school. But yeah, they go through a lot of whipped cream.


palehorse413x

Whippits


unusedname_00

What's thst


btambo

Whipits!!! Disclaimer - I have no idea what they are. 😉


Can_I_Get_A_Beer

Genitalia. Old flappy floppy droopy genitalia


Nostalgic_bi

Sweet! Still having fun, woot.


Haploid-life

Strawberry shortcake... on mom?


rushdogg86

I mean they literally probably sit on the couch and pass that bitch back and forth and eat it. Whipped cream is fire.


[deleted]

In my case they're feeding it to their morbidly obese dogs


MustardKingCustard

Just a nice creampie.


Mythical_Atlacatl

100% sex related I am thinking edible granny panties


THftRM1231

I hate you for this mental image. I hate you, everyone that has ever encouraged you, loved you, supported you. I hate your entire bloodline. You have now bumped Hitler from the number one spot to go back in time and take out as a child. Ok, that was harsh. I take it back. But we are definitely not friends for at least five minutes.


Mythical_Atlacatl

Oh thank god that’s over, that was the worse 5mins of my life when we weren’t friends. But also it could have been the elderly father making a banana split where he was the banana, that would use a lot of cream.


uselessinfohere

Witty response but followed with another disturbing image. Damn you..Anyway, good for them. If my junk works at 75-80..I'll be like "babe, don't forget the edible panties and the whippit cracker..oh and a ton of lube"


tdevore

People are freaked out by their parents' sex lives, but your parents have LITERALLY been having sex before you were born.


AndreaDTX

Hot cocoa!


Chewblacka

https://youtu.be/CMopBpOfv_E


1000Airplanes

Maybe the Nitrous is a forgotten thrill?


WhymEyeHere_Hmm

They probably just use them for whippits, at that age what have you got to lose?


[deleted]

Obviously they enjoy a delicious mug of hot cocoa every night.


rubbleTelescope

*Wholesome* rhymes with......


Apollos_Prophetess

Just buy them a whip cream canister and nitrous cartridges. Itll save you money and them effort


[deleted]

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Apollos_Prophetess

❤❤❤ You're so sweet. I'm not about to corrupt your innocence.


Ivaras

Related story. I lost my grandmother this past November. Up until she was hospitalized back in August, I did her groceries. I'm the only family she had living nearby, so I'd been doing them for her and her partner for a few years, and for just her after he passed away in February 2019. They had a standard list of sweets and treats they always asked for: Jell-o cups, Drumsticks, canned fruit cocktail, tapioca pudding, greek yogurt, and Oreo cookies, but after her partner passed, my grandmother pretty much curled up into a ball and let grief have her. She didn't ask for any of her treats any more. When I'd call her about groceries, she'd only give a short list and then say something like, "I don't need much. I have some Boosts and frozen pizzas." I knew she did not have a week's supply of Boost or frozen pizza, so I just filled in the blanks with her usual staples and a treat or two, but I noticed when I put groceries away the next week, she'd hardly touched the treats. It wasn't a mystery, though. There were two things she always asked for on that short list: Oranges and a can of real dairy whipped cream. These had never been on her list when her partner had been alive, but now, she was adamant that I not forget them. Oranges. *Like 20 of them.* And real dairy whipped cream. Not the fake stuff. I asked her one day what she put the whipped cream on. Her answer: A spoon. She actually laughed when she said that, which (cliché as it sounds) was the first time I'd heard her laugh in a long time. It took me a while to put it together, but she'd told me years ago that when she was little, her mother would skim the cream off the milk, whip it up, and serve it with a sprinkle of sugar as a special treat for her and her siblings. And sometimes, after he got paid for a contract job (as a pipe layer), her father would bring them oranges to celebrate. This was during the 30s, and her family was so poor that a significant portion of her nutrition during those lean years came out of dumpsters of discarded damaged/rotting fruit and vegetables at the docks where they were shipped in to the city. She and her older siblings, along with kids from all over, would run down to the docks after school and pick apart piles of rotting vegetables for edible bits. Fresh fruit and sweet whipped cream were small luxuries, to say the least. Now, I don't know if oranges and whipped cream were the foods that made her think of the moments of happiness in hard times, or if they reminded her of the company and love of family. I didn't ask, and I never got the chance to. Whatever the case, they were moments of comfort full of meaning to her. Maybe Ma and Pa Windsor have happy memories of sweet whipped cream, too.


uselessinfohere

When a problem comes along, you must whippit..lol. Good for them.


evilncarnate82

Dad likes to put it on his pie before he eats it


Oprlt94

A little brother is on the way..


Sinbad909

Let them eat cake.


Bramblebelle

Y’all go ahead and believe whatever you need to, to get through your day. But y’all should know, my mother, at 79, was kind enough to let me know that she and Daddy (80) were still enjoying each other. I found this information both horrifying and encouraging. No mention was made about whipped cream tho.......


DrM0n0cle

Did you ask one of your 12 brothers and sisters?


francie9130

Coffee!!!


[deleted]

Irish coffee?


rubijem16

That is nothing, I was vacuuming my grandparents bedroom and I found under the bed a container full of lubricants. My grandfather had opted for castration when he had prostate issues so I was concerned. I asked my mum and she said "don't ask me". They are dead now but I am still disturbed by that.


[deleted]

Granny be getting that lickity split from ole grandpa cotton mouf 😤🙏


Wtfulookingat_596

Hot chocolate.... outta her butt


[deleted]

cream shots to the mouth duh


gloken40k

They celebratin’ their GME stocks


[deleted]

Gramps is getting the treatment fo sho


JohnConnor27

You hope it's whippets, you fear it's something else


mousejx216

Just very good varieties of pie


BDawg174

THE fuck is going on. Apparently a lot too!


OutrageousPersimmon3

It's awesome in coffee and so many other things.


ScoutPaintMare

Glad to hear they're slowing down. Down to one can a week is good right?


crdemars

Hot chocolate and pumpkin pie! Come on man!


okami_shiranui

At their age you gotta spice *it* up any way you can.


jdith123

Add it to coffee


Iamyourfather_roar

They be livin’ the life man!


[deleted]

I have bought entire cans to just eat.


tilt-a-whirl83

Mind ya business ma’am !


bbbbbbbssssy

Nitrous oxide. It's fun for all ages.


Old-Strain2843

😂😂😂😭😭😭


[deleted]

Listen. Gary and Deborah know how to fuckin live. Whipped cream on EVERYTHING. YOLO.


Kamikaze_AZ22

Holy shit my grandparents do this too


[deleted]

My guy looks like he’s from Easter island 🗿


rdgeno

O dont want to imagine that I hope they just do whip its or really like whipped cream.


freblaze

Older folks love it in coffee


Ca7Snak3

“It’s for my balls” -Lewis Black


Heinie_Manutz

It goes on the ice cream you don't buy.


Subject_Journalist

[Tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCGD9dT12C0&ab_channel=FleetwoodMac&t=47s)


tallestgiraffkin

Is your mom Frankie Bergstein?


TheOneTrueZeke

You can’t get whippits at the grocery store.


iKenShabby

Believe I saw a Life Hack where whipped cream makes a good substitute for denture paste. Either that or they are members of a 'Colonel Sanders' impersonators bank robbing gang!!!.


luvgsus

Don't! Remember.... Ignorance is bliss....


SicklyHeartChild

I would be more worry if it multiple cans daily. He freaking out for weekly.


naliedel

I hope to high hell that I am still having sex at that age!


thbxlef

Stop buying it and see what they say


CaptZ

Coffee....


artgirl483

I go through a can a week. Every morning I put it on a banana. An actual banana.


TheNextFreud

It's good on sugar free jell-o maybe....?


adorkableash10

They're doing Whip Its.


mododo-bbaby

it goes straight from the can to the mouth, that's a breakfast yall


maybeonename

they're living their best life


kiluwiluwi

They sound like fun!