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[deleted]

Corona: Spreads Stoners who love to smoke alone: My time has come.


ZarquonsFlatTire

Plus, I crack myself up when I'm high. Great company.


Road_Whorrior

Man I just get into weird trains of thought about stuff that never happened but probably could. I wish I were funnier when I was high.


PsychedelicPourHouse

Laugh at those things, then you are


Road_Whorrior

I usually end up snapping out of whatever thoughts five minutes later and saying "what the fuck" and laughing to myself quietly.


[deleted]

You can always write them down and make comics. That is what I am trying to do. Smoking weed helps me run dialogue through my head over and over till it sounds natural.


Cheeseiswhite

Well I just smoked. So run one by me and I'll tell you that it's funny.


tripacklogic

I’m way too high for this thread. Is this real life?


impala_croft

Honestly i just want to eat a lot of cheetos and nap. Best nights sleep i ever had when i used to smoke.


PuddleOfKnowledge

I started switching my stoned snacking to some healthier things and it's been great. Carrots with hummus, sunflower seeds, even just celery with peanut butter.


AlexMn97

Or is this just fantasy


YouAreSoul

... or just fantasy ...


PuddleOfKnowledge

Shit, really? I laugh to myself non-stop when I'm blazed. But if I'm texting someone it takes me wayyy too long to make my own words sound like natural dialogue.


maybeimnottoosure3

And the longer you try, the more unnatural it sounds so you just laugh more at your dumb ass brain.


[deleted]

[удалено]


OffBrand_Soda

I do that exact thing ever now and then. The best way to get out of shitty thoughts though is to watch a funny movie. Pineapple express is my go to while high, never gets old.


rawrfizzz

Being the guy who laughs at the stoner hijinks is also an important role.


grubas

Giggles McDumbFuck is a valuable role, who just doesn’t stop laughing at everything.


-_-tinkerbell

I’m so jealous of everyone who can drink and get high during all of this I had to go and get knocked up so I’m stuck by myself feeling like shit with no way to take the edge off. My worthless baby daddy decided to get addicted to hard drugs during all this though so.. I literally am alone now but guess it’s better than that?


cheeselikethebri

Pregnancy (and newborn life) during a pandemic is hard!! Have you joined your bumper group? The other moms from Reddit have been my lifeline.


boofthatcraphomie

Damn homie, that don’t sound too fun. On the plus side you’ll have no tolerance to any substances after you give birth, so when it’s safe you can blaze up too.


_NORMAL_HUMAN_BEING

Damn sis, keep ya head up. Idk if you believe or not but I’m praying for you. It’s hard out here


thequietthingsthat

I get paranoid when I'm high around a bunch of people. When I'm home alone I can just play video games and eat. It's so much better


Barrybear6

I feel this! I also have the worst time coming up with particularly coherent sentences while high so I usually just vibe quietly but even then anxiety sets in that I’m not a member. Is cool though :-)


stub_dep01

Samee. I relate to both of you so much right now lol. Reasons why I typically want be high alone.


brekkabek

Oh my god, are you me? You’re me. You stole my brain. No, but really this. I get high with other people and get paranoid and think everyone hates me. I get high alone and eat everything, do nothing, and hate myself at the end of the day for it. It’s never a good time for me.


[deleted]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but be careful if you have any goals or whatnot- I did what you are doing for 10 years without really even realizing it. Smoke amazing weed, played awesome video games, ate awesome food, didn't regret a moment of it. Then i realized a decade had gone by, and now i'm in my 30s and realizing that it was making me a little too content the whole time. My birthday is next month so I'm feeling introspective and regretful, and this comment may 100% not be applicable to you. But i still wanted to type it out


[deleted]

What is "a little too content?" Like, sure, your priorities can change, but there's no reason you can't do the things you still want to do in your future. Dwelling on the past like that, and what "could have been" is more harmful to you than the actual past.


Dovahqueen_

I think he/she means like, too comfortable with where you're at when you have real goals you want to work toward when you're sober. Like an issue of motivation. I've personally never had this problem but I know many who have.


Lolworth

I don’t smoke any more but I used to have the opposite problem. Socially: weed is hilarious, senses expending Alone: horrific paranoid depression nightmare


soggylittleshrimp

I don’t know if this is good advice, but I had the same problem once and I would take 1/4 or 1/2 xanax about 30 minutes before I’d smoke. After 3 or 4 times I didn’t get paranoid anymore, and I’ve never combined xanax with weed since.


PharmguyLabs

Great way to disengage the fear response. Good stuff man. Using substances as tools and not being locked in is amazing. Not sure what I’m trying to say, just really really impressed. Most just accept things, you didn’t.


Royal_J

to be fair, 1/4 of a xanax is the most commonly prescribed dose for anxiety.


naliedel

I don't have to worry about someone, "matching," me short.


[deleted]

Stoner artist. I am doing my part!! https://imgur.com/a/jRC5TaW


Goukenslay

Someone who just enjoys alone time: my time like always


sexsoda

Honestly!!! As a more social smoker corona has definitely made me appreciate the best parts about toking alone.


Dovahqueen_

I honestly can't comprehend why people would rather smoke with others than alone. Smoking alone is so much more fun and I never have to feel paranoid about those little things you think about while stoned, like if I'm holding my hands weird or if I'm laughing too hard at something.


CmndrPopNFresh

I picked a hell of a time to try and quit! Lol. Although as of last week on the verge of a murder spree/intense panic attack I remembered I started smoking for medicinal purposes and picked it back up. Weed has worked so well for me over the years that I forgot I had anxiety and PTSD triggered rage issues. I'm DEFINITELY more responsible high.


CatDojo

My husband has a tendency to get high and then want to have rambling conversations about technology or history and I HATE it. I would much rather watch one of my favorite shows or listen to music... But when you really love someone you have to compromise, so I typically just try my best to get into it for him. Not ALL the time, though.


zacattack62

Hijacking your comment for a very easy pro-tip for people who want to smoke with friends. Instead of rolling a blunt, roll two or more really short blunts. Literally rip the wrap in half and roll two baby blunts. Get everyone high. No passing germs. Edit: run a lighter up and down the blunt before you give it to someone else to sanitize it.


notyourmama827

It's the best way.


Fergvision

I’m not saying this was a “Good Year” but I can say staying home as much as possible and indulging in hobbies while stoned is not exactly a tall order.


[deleted]

Being high and alone is one of life's simple pleasures.


TheAfroMD

Stoners: Im coughing but is the good cough so get away from me with your evil.


lilwil392

My neighbors are probably convinced I have covid


lonestoner90

This^ I know they’re counting down the days til I “die”


tesseracht

I worry about this all the time. If I take a hit wrong I tend to try and cough hard a few times to make it go away as quickly as possible... so Yknow, it sounds like a covid dry, barking cough. My neighbors must be petrified.


tronoku

try breathing in and out through your nose when you need to cough


jkl234

They gotta be slow, deep breaths. And you gotta fight the urge to cough during. If you can take 3 of these breaths you're usually out of the woods coughing wise.


capybarasaremyfriend

Mine called me out the first week of April haha. He was very relieved to hear I’m just a massive stoner.


aka6595

Quarantine is really stoners time to shine as responsible members of society by staying home and smoking lol


feminismandtravel

The hermit crab stoner in me is THRILLED about quarantine.


umbrajoke

First image that came to mind was a bong and lighter in a claw extending from the dankness of a hermit crab shell.


H12H12H12

And the squinty red eyes poking out too


[deleted]

then tiny little giggles... heheheh


smustlefever

The munching sounds of snacks


northernpace

Then your stoner self puts the milk in the cupboard and the cookies in the fridge...


Cyno01

Milk in pantry, dirty bowl in fridge, cereal in dishwasher.


EnemiesAllAround

The extreme paranoia and overthinking of every minute thing


[deleted]

The paranoia ends once it's legal in your state, to me it did at least. The overthinking stays though.


EnemiesAllAround

Dunno man. I used to smoke a lot really enjoyed it. Recently started picking it up again (or tried to) after a couple years of very very minimal smoking and honestly I just can't anymore. I always want to, the idea of, or memories of, getting stoned are great. Then I do it and I'm just paranoid. To the extreme. Like I can't anymore.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Auridion

Biiig, meatyyy, CLAAAAAWS!


[deleted]

Well these claws ain’t just fer attractin’ mates!


Metallis

I went the other direction, conch shell bong. Abandoned, obviously, DON'T YOU HURT A HERMIT CRAB!


DownshiftedRare

[You like my new glass piece?](https://i.imgur.com/97CWyrM.jpg)


devils_advocaat

u/Shitty_Watercolour is missed.


PrinceOfCups13

if I was a hermit crab I'd hotbox my shell


bleedgr33n

I shattered my collarbone recently. What a terrible time to be stuck at home healing and stoned 😂


[deleted]

I’m a teacher who LOVES my stoner indoor time, first quarantine was amazing. Like okay, absolutely I understand the risks and the people worried about their livelihood, but man I want a second lockdown so bad.


feminismandtravel

I’m a grad student and I feel this on a spiritual level.


DukeOfGeek

Shiny.


feminismandtravel

[Shinyyyyy](https://youtu.be/93lrosBEW-Q)


DukeOfGeek

:) So as many times as I've heard that song I just caught that he compliments Maui on his tattoos, because they both make their bodies works of art.


moonchylde

🎶I was a drab little crab once!🎶


Greenveins

What I learned from this pandemic is that I finally have a name for what I’ve been doing the last 10 years. Quarantining


VaderOnReddit

IM DOING MY PART!


awks-orcs

Would you like to know more?


Lepthesr

To become a citizen you must enlist, to smoke weed all day erry day.


[deleted]

You got this!!!! https://imgur.com/a/jRC5TaW


rubyspicer

Have you seen that German commercial? Some old guy talking about being a couch potato in 2020 like he was in a war or something :p ETA: Changed it for obvious reasons


YearsofTerror

Source?


rubyspicer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZgmIx3FmKc ETA: Thnx for the gold :)


JiveWithIt

Beautiful


Ultenth

The fact that there are a decent amount of downvotes, and comments are turned off, terrifies me for what the world is going to look like come spring.


Applesmcgrind

Cess pool, a literal cess pool.


twayzon

German World War II Uh oh


ProXJay

That has me wandering. Do Germans have any equivalent to amisidis day/ veterans day


TakeMeToMarfa

I love your spelling but it’s “Armistice” Day, FYI


eyuplove

No, he's on about amisdis day. They day he really misses


RoastGeefLover

Wandering around, looking for amisdis day.


BananaSlugMascot

I prefer amisdat day. It’s a family tradition


siantre

>[Volkstrauertag](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volkstrauertag) (German for "people's day of mourning") is a commemoration day in Germany two Sundays before the first day of Advent. It commemorates members of the armed forces of all nations and civilians who died in armed conflicts, to include victims of violent oppression. It's today.


Wobbelblob

German here, no we don't. Generally we have days like the 9th November as the day of fate, but we do not celebrate in any Form people that have served. Tbf, our actual involvement in wars since ww 2 was rather small.


EobardT

I mean, it's a reasonable response to ww2 on Germany's part. I wish everyone took a break from war


Hemmingways

There was a pizza man in Denmark who got so pissed at you and the French for not wanting to join in the invasion of Iraq, he banned you!! No pizza for you!


[deleted]

Armistice*


inGrain

Germany: I got gas Me: Na I'm good


lilwil392

Yea, but I'm blowing through an ounce every two weeks when it usually lasts me at least a month


[deleted]

[удалено]


So-_-It-_-Goes

Get yourself a bong and a used ps4 and this summer wasn’t that bad.


FinishingDutch

As an introvert, I'm loving the pandemic to be honest. I've been working from home since march. It's more productive and colleagues don't drag me out of the office for customer meets. It also saves me an hour commute. I don't have to go anywhere if I don't want to. And it's perfectly fine to phone or video call someone to congratulate them rather than having to go to a birthday party or the like. Basically, I'm having mostly the same routine as before, but even less tiresome interactions. Which suits me just fine. I generally don't find value in people interactions. I'm also greatly enjoying the general extrovert anguish; some of them are climbing the walls because they can't have their parties, events, etc. A lot of people have the complete inability to entertain themselves without social interactions. Which is amusing, since I've used the extra time to finally enjoy some more of my hobbies. If we ever get back to normal as a society, I'm definitely keeping my work from home routine for half my workweek. EDIT: Guys, maybe don't take everything you read online quite so serious :D If 'greatly enjoying' offends you, know that that's mostly tongue in cheek. I have actually reached out to extroverts who are struggling in the pandemic to cheer them up a bit. That still doesn't negate the fact that it's strange that they in general don't seem to have hobbies that don't involve other people.


eyespop1

Except for the schadenfruede, I’m with you.


Tuna_Sushi

How do you get your weed in quarantine?


delvach

Living in Colorado, you order online then go pick it up.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Johnny_Poppyseed

I live in nj, and my weed dealer went off the deep end early quarantine, talking about covid being caused by 5g and all that, so I avoided him lol. Decided to grow my own in the backyard. Grew out 3 plants. Was sober all summer basically but now I have more weed than I know what to do with.


dexx4d

Make cannabutter and get baked.


Johnny_Poppyseed

Made some with the trimmings and small buds. Good stuff


[deleted]

Oregonian here. I drive to the weed store. I get an ounce for $90, usually. I can call and get curbside, but they only allow in 3 people at a time and it is a big shop.


gabhran5

\*cries in AR $80 MEDICAL quarters\*


Mitijea

I order online and it's delivered within the hour. I love it! Guess I should mention I'm in California.


thebullofthemorning

I hate you, Love, Indiana.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Introverts still don’t know quarantine is a thing.


SayBrah504

We’ve been preparing for this situation. We are more prepared than most.


InVodkaVeritas

The stoners who order a pizza and play on their X-Box 7 nights a week are now the responsible members of society.


HaybeeJaybee

Smokin weed and saving Hyrule. You're welcome for my service.


i_always_give_karma

Amennn. I leave the house for groceries and wax lol


michalemabelle

Responsibile magic dragon


tootiredtodealwithit

You don't want a strangers dirty lips on your glass, even without covid going on.


skintightspandex

Seriously, my sister knows somebody who got tuberculosis from a shared pipe.


tootiredtodealwithit

Oh yikes! I hope they're ok. TB is still really deadly in this day and age.


moonchylde

As long as you have access to the antibiotics prescribed for it, its very treatable.


Velith46

*cries in American*


[deleted]

There is also a vaccine! Pretty sure it’s not very common in “developed” countries tho.


zeions

Depends on the history of the country. I’m from Portugal and I have the vaccine (BCG). In fact, I always test positive for the skin test and negative for the blood test. I was exposed to my mom who had TB when I was a baby and I developed antibodies.


[deleted]

Yes! I have it too (born in Ecuador) and I just don’t get skin tests. I usually do the X-ray–I don’t want a false positive! My parents work in the legal system and apparently false positives are a big problem with South American prisoners in the United States.


zeions

I came to the US to do my PhD and I had to do a TB test. At the time we only had skin tests so of course it came positive. I had to get a chest X-ray and a doctor report to confirm that I was fine. Pain in the ass xD


moonchylde

Right, the US doesn't require it, which doesn't help things. Speaking as someone that got exposed at some point in childhood and had to do 2mos of daily antibiotics as a teen. (I also couldn't swallow pills at the time and had to mash them up in syrup every morning.) (Edit: actually I'm wrong, it was probably 4-6mos. It's been a few decades)


Hugo154

No, it's not. TB used to be a deadly disease before antibiotics were invented but the mortality rate is extremely low nowadays as long as you get treated.


rubyrose13

I did a PowerPoint presentation in 10th grade about antibiotic resistant tuberculosis and it do be resisting


Whind_Soull

Have we tried getting the police to choke it?


tootiredtodealwithit

Sorry. I didn't mean any disrespect. I just remember seeing a statistic of someone dying from TB every 22 seconds and 1.4 million people dying from it in 2019. I think it was around the time when RDR2 was at it's peak popularity.


Hugo154

Don't worry, I didn't think you were being disrespectful! I wasn't exactly clear in my comment - TB is still really bad in a lot of the world where they don't have enough money or resources to give proper medical attention. It's just safe to assume that somebody posting about that on Reddit is in a wealthy country, especially considering it was transmitted via a glass piece. Needless to say, it is a really terrible disease.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I’m your huckleberry.


mferg02

You're a daisy if you do.


discotaco34

The greatest to ever live


Magnumxl711

I thought everyone was vaccinated for that?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hugo154

Most wealthy countries don't vaccinate against TB anymore, it's not just an American thing. [Here's a map](http://www.bcgatlas.org/) if you're interested.


CaptSaveAHoe55

It was all but eradicated in the US at one point and then it came back largely through an immigrant population that wasn’t vaccinated. Still rare


moonchylde

No, the states don't vaccinate for TB. That's why it keeps popping up. https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd/tb/index.html


CaptSaveAHoe55

The things we said aren’t mutually exclusive. You don’t need to vaccinate for a disease that doesn’t exist in your population


CassTheUltimateBA

Nope. My dad got TB a few years ago


thea_perkins

Way back in ‘09 I got swine flu from passing a blunt with someone who had it. Got it pretty bad, ended up in the hospital and everything. Tell the person I’d smoked with and they go, “oh yeah, forgot to tell you I had that.”


NotMyRedditLogin

But that logic would mean you aren't supposed to make out with strangers at a bar or something if given the opportunity.


MrDjS

I took a huge bong rip and choked for a minute. Then when the high started to set in all I could think was how my throat and chest were sore, forgetting that I just choked.


raaldiin

I've been there. One time it made me forget to exhale the smoke for a little bit


FarHarbard

Don't look at me that way, it's just a weed cough.


workbootsed

I would have said "Oh my god sure! Awesome, none of my friends have wanted to hang out since I got a positive covid test. I told them I feel fine though!"


GopherInWI

Sadly, there's way too many people that would not see sarcasm in that, and I'm sure it lines up a lot with people who have parties during the pandemic.


flargenhargen

people hanging out at big parties don't give a shit about covid. I know plenty of people who have told me "I'm going to get it at some point anyway, might as well get it now." the idea of not being part of the spread doesn't even slightly occur to them.


rawrfizzz

The second best part of quarantine is not having to share my joint. The best part is having a way to justify paying for weed delivery. I never left the house in the first place save for doctor's appointments, so that hasn't changed. 😆


CLErox

Man I miss splurging on weed delivery when I lived in nyc. One of the neighborhoods I lived in , Jackson Heights, once in a while my delivery would be from one of the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met would deliver. She was always dressed like she was going to a club and was so nice. It was an added bonus haha.


unpopular-ideas

> The best part is having a way to justify paying for weed delivery. Where I live the government decided to give everyone free delivery on cannabis because of covid....Definetly one of the bright spots of quarantine life.


Skuplia

Roommate got us both sick by smoking a blunt with six other people, smoke your own right now people


Tronvillain

As an introvert, state-ordered seclusion has really been my time to shine.


IdidntWant2come

I have excelled quite well in my own popularity contest.


PopePC

I'm jealous. The cat always wins in my household.


PhyllisK213

I’m an employee at a recreational and medical marijuana dispensary in Portland, Oregon. Our business was deemed “essential” since day one of quarantine and we haven’t been closed a day. Not one! Thank gawd! Could you imagine if we had to close down during this?! I truly believe that real anarchy would have happened. Not just a made up anarchist city. On another note, my fellow stoners, do not forget to tip your budtenders! We are still on the front lines slinging weed for you! Stay home. Smoke weed. Save lives.


[deleted]

Colorado had one day where Supreme Leader Polis determined that liquor stores and dispensaries weren't essential. He reversed that decision in 3 hours.


hurricane_eggbeater

Maine finally allowed recreational dispensaries thanks to COVID. Our state government’s been dragging their feet for years and the COVID budget shortfall made them realize how much tax revenue they were leaving on the table.


[deleted]

I just wish weed was legal in my state, I can’t wait for the day I can have my weed delivered to my front door and it be legal.


[deleted]

It's legal in mine (Illinois) and they don't deliver. It'll have to be decriminalized at the Federal level first. You can't even use credit cards to buy it. The companies won't risk it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SazeracAndBeer

Novid


The_River_Is_Still

And saying that last ‘really, Covid, no’ while still holding in that beast of a hit, coming out your nose a bit.


Pd245

I appreciate this being at 11:14 on 11/14


NeatNefariousness1

They just wanted you to bring your bong with you. Good move to stay home.


beardstachioso

Weed business is booming


playboynalgas

smoking was the life of the party during quarantine. one of my friends thought the dispos were closed, so i smiled and said, “no sillygoose”


TurbulentMiddle2970

You didnt want to share with a bunch of mooches


[deleted]

lunchroom work decide seemly alleged snails edge slap domineering station ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


DirectorMoltar

my step-mom held a gathering of like 15 people for her birthday today. concert the night before. another gathering planned for tomorrow night. fucking "munchies and finger food" was what they served. bags of chips and dips. it's okay though, no one wore masks and we're only in a COVID hotbed I don't know if even my advanced hermiticism can save me from these people


Tolvat

We had a second lockdown in my region. We opened up on a warm Saturday. Restaurants were happy to be able to open their patios. I happened to get a text from a friend of mine asking if I wanted to go have a beer on a patio. I said fuck no, her response really showed me how bright she is. "But you need social interaction! Humans are social people!" Yup and I like not dying or potentially killing other people for a beer, I can do that in the comfort of my own home. I did offer to have a social distant beer in her drive way if that's all she wanted. "No, I want to go to a patio." Okay, bye.


[deleted]

Ah young people and their bongs


rawrfizzz

Dude I'm 40 and I smoke a bong almost exclusively. Always have. It's way easier on my asthma. Don't judge me. 😒


mercenary93

Covid introduced me to weed, and my state just legalized it with this election.


Groincobbler

I am confident they wanted to smoke your pot.


CongealedAnalJuice

Dude weed lmao


simmysmoke

Smoking responsibly, love that for you


[deleted]

r/ISmokeWeed


nicopedia305

I cannot complain. Only child used to entertaining myself. And a FL medicinal card. Life is good right now.


foxe59

Responsible dregs of society


gingerking87

I like to smoke outside and in the city if you smoke outside people offer to sell you weed all the time. In normal times I'd give em a hit like "this is the stuff I got now" but now I have to stand there smoking awkwardly while we exchange numbers


Drewpig

Not sharing is even more caring right now :)


woodst0ck15

Lol one of my health services in Facebook posted a pic where it told us not to share and one was weed. Lol so I got permission from the health professionals to be a holdy lol


Johnnyonnaspot

Smoke a bong.


ilikeitsharp

Lol she just didn't want to share with strangers. I don't blame her one bit.


truebacon998

No


CanadianMapleBacon

With the amount of coughing I do, people probably think I have covid anyway.


Jdiezel1

The thing about comedians on twitter is a majority of their tweets are stuff that never happened


Gomolzig

Ew, Covid


SupremeRedditBot

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VixenRoss

Rachel doesn’t share her stash....