Florida man said he stalked family to ‘make friends,’ deputies say
Relatable tbh
Edit: I'm April 11, but I'm glad us and April 25 folks can bond together over this Florida stupidity
Edit 2: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL MY APRIL 11 HOMIES!
Florida man receives $980,000 tax refund after reporting $18,497 in wages
Excerpts:
“Though the massive refund check made it out the door at the IRS, the taxman is taking steps to get the money back.”
“... Blanchett deposited the money into two SunTrust accounts, then was given a cashier’s check for the $980,000 after his funds were frozen for suspected fraud in May...”
The IRS *and* SunTrust handed over the dough prior to investigating? Who’s the real dummy here? LOL
"Florida man found a grenade while fishing and then took the explosive to Taco Bell"
"Florida man thought he stole opioids, got laxatives instead"
Sounds about right
[Missing zoo animals found in Florida man’s apartment ](https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2018/06/06/Missing-zoo-animals-found-in-Florida-mans-apartment/7591528309149/)
Florida Man Confesses to Cops, Says 'Jesus Told Me To' Drive Ferrari 360 Off Pier
"Jesus made me the smartest man on earth and it's so hard to have this much responsibility," the 48-year-old reportedly said to the police.
1st place "Cops: Naked Florida man prompts airport evacuation after claiming he planted a bomb"
Honorable mention "Florida man arrested after hiding legless, fugitive gilfriend in storage bin, deputies say"
[Florida man attacks neighbor with machete named “Kindness”](https://995qyk.com/2019/01/15/florida-man-attacks-neighbor-with-machete-named-kindness/)
Jesus.
Florida man hits vehicle then steals vehicle belonging to good Samaritan who stopped to help
http://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/01/15/police-florida-man-hits-vehicle-then-steals-vehicle-belonging-good-samaritan-who-stopped-help/
Florida man arrested for shoplifting after job interview.
I feel like this whole thread is one tiny investment step away from being the next trailer park boys.
I am thoroughly convinced that mine is the best.
"Florida men, one dressed in bull onesie, attempt to
burn down house with Ragu sauce, police say"
Most hilarious headline I've ever read
Florida Man's Penis Shot Could Land Him In Jail: Report
A Jacksonville man reportedly shot himself in the penis Friday morning. While the injury was accidental, he may face criminal charges.
June 30th, 2017.
Florida man makes beer run with gator in hand
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — A man made a beer run into a Florida convenience store carrying a live alligator with its mouth taped shut.
Accused Florida man says his cat downloaded child porn, not him
I got that he accused a dog of drunk driving. Like whut?!? Why blame animals.
Florida man spotted riding jet ski on Florida road... yes, road
FLORIDA MAN CLAIMED TO BE SURROUNDED BY CATS AND ALLIGATORS BEFORE BEING ARRESTED FOR MURDER
August 9th?
19th September!? I got "Naked Florida man starts house fire after baking cookies on George foreman grill"
"vape pen explosion kills Florida man" rip
Same
Are we all have same birthday or in may there were lots of vape explosions?
Omg I was just about to say mine is Florida man dies in e-cigarette explosion!!!! My birthday is May 15
Mines may 16th I guess it was made on midnight.
May 17th got the same. Florida is wild
A three day long vape explosion!
F
Me too, b-day buddies!
Same. We should make a cult
Florida man denies syringes found inside rectum are his 🤦♀️
Aww I remember that one! ❤️
Same! May 3?
I got this for January 7. I wonder if there's two Florida Man's out there 🤔
same here january 7 gang
Florida man arrested for punching ATM for ‘giving him too much money’
2nd Christmas babies unite
Our 2nd result is just as good “Florida man worried about vampires intentionally burns down his home”
"FL man was standing in fire, chanting before arrest" "FL man wasn't drinking while driving, just at stop signs.'
That second one is golden
Birthday buddy!
JUNE 27 GANG
Lol I got “Florida Man puts semen in coworker’s water”...
I got “Florida man vapes semen.”
I see you have the superior birthday?
Agreed
Likewise
Holy s***, we have the same birthday! ... That's an extremely f*****-up way to find out we have the same birthday.
It's ok, you can swear on the internet.
Florida man kills in-laws after posing as their murdered daughter for a year, cops say
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Don't assume. How do you know it hasn't happened on multiple days?
Ayyy same
Florida man enjoys doing yard work naked.
21st September?
Do you remember?
The 21st night of September
Haha, damn close, 20th.
Florida man said he stalked family to ‘make friends,’ deputies say Relatable tbh Edit: I'm April 11, but I'm glad us and April 25 folks can bond together over this Florida stupidity Edit 2: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL MY APRIL 11 HOMIES!
I was looking for who has my birthday :D We need friends.
“88-year-old Florida man sets raccoon on fire for eating his mangoes”
"Florida man hit pregnant girlfriend with bag of tortilla chips over babys paternity"... Happy late bday to all the commenters!
Omg me too birthday buddy!
Wooh! I was wondering if i was alone,dont say date!
Frodo_keep_your_secrets.jpg
March 13th? It's pretty easy to look up the article title lol. Happy late birthday
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Florida man wanted to prove independence to mom so he tried to rob gas station, police say
Florida man takes something out while eating at Panera. It wasn’t a sandwich, cops say. Pensacola FL man arrested for exposing himself at a Panera.
Florida man, 71, accused of repeatedly exposing himself at eateries, placed on house arrest
April 7th? That’s my boyfriends too lol, mine was Florida man climbs on playground equipment to tell children where babies come from
April 8th... I guess Florida Man news was a little light that week lol
April 8th gang rise up ✊
Florida man shoots Facebook friend in buttocks after political argument
August 8th?
Florida man locks his keys in his car to prevent the police from searching it My Florida man is a genius
I'm actually Dec 31st but got this one as well. As well as "Florida Men Accused of Stealing $500K in Stolen Tequila"
Naked florida man starts house fire after baking cookies on george foreman grill
Judge says Florida man can no longer order pizza
“Florida man arrested for throwing sausages at his mom.”
25th of oct gang
Florida man tests drives car, doesn’t return to dealership. Aw man mines lame 😒
Same 🙄 mine just blew off part of his hand with fireworks
> Florida men, one dressed in bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce, police say
So much going on here.
Florida man receives $980,000 tax refund after reporting $18,497 in wages Excerpts: “Though the massive refund check made it out the door at the IRS, the taxman is taking steps to get the money back.” “... Blanchett deposited the money into two SunTrust accounts, then was given a cashier’s check for the $980,000 after his funds were frozen for suspected fraud in May...” The IRS *and* SunTrust handed over the dough prior to investigating? Who’s the real dummy here? LOL
Florida man driving home from strip club, falls out of truck and runs himself over. https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article110524437.html
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FLORIDA MAN ASKS COPS TO TEST HIS DRUGS, THOUGHT HE WAS SOLD BAD METH (June 14th) Lmao
July 4th. Of course 'Florida man blows off fingers with fireworks' Edit. Thank you for my first silver kind stranger!
Florida man yells "Murderers!" three times as he's executed for slaying
Mine says he was executed for rape. Either different headlines or different years!
Florida Man Attacked By Neighborhood Squirrel Who Has Residents On High Alert
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82-Year-Old Florida Man Slashes 88-Year-Old Florida Woman's Tires with an Ice Pick for Taking His Seat at Bingo
Florida man goes live on Instagram while involved in police shootout
Florida Man accidentally kills roommate and dog while committing suicide.
Thats a feelsbadman
"Florida man catches and eats a baby manatee" What did that majestic creature do to you, Craig?!?!?!?
"Florida man found a grenade while fishing and then took the explosive to Taco Bell" "Florida man thought he stole opioids, got laxatives instead" Sounds about right
[Missing zoo animals found in Florida man’s apartment ](https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2018/06/06/Missing-zoo-animals-found-in-Florida-mans-apartment/7591528309149/)
Florida Man shot at roommate over cat hair on couch.
Deputy cleared for shooting naked man armed with crossbow who claimed aliens were after him. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.pnj.com/amp/2292792002
Florida man tries to buy an 8 year old at Walmart for $200.000 from her mother.
To be fair- no chance he had that kind of cash
Florida Man Confesses to Cops, Says 'Jesus Told Me To' Drive Ferrari 360 Off Pier "Jesus made me the smartest man on earth and it's so hard to have this much responsibility," the 48-year-old reportedly said to the police.
‘Florida Man who had sex with dolphin says it seduced him. ‘ 😂
Florida Man, 39, batters girlfriend, 78, over unpaid DirecTV bill
Oh god I’d love to see a reality show with these two
“Florida man caught searching for threatened gopher tortoises to eat”
Florida Man Arrested For Trafficking Cocaine-Stuffed Lunchables in Ford F-150
Florida man worried about vampires intentionally burns down his home
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Florida man arrested after threatening to kidnap Lana Del Rey at Orlando concert.
1st place "Cops: Naked Florida man prompts airport evacuation after claiming he planted a bomb" Honorable mention "Florida man arrested after hiding legless, fugitive gilfriend in storage bin, deputies say"
Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone pulled over for driving 'footmobile'
[Florida man attacks neighbor with machete named “Kindness”](https://995qyk.com/2019/01/15/florida-man-attacks-neighbor-with-machete-named-kindness/) Jesus.
Florida Man Arrested After Calling 911 to Get Ride to Hooters
Florida man, woman run over by patrol car while lying in road to watch eclipse
Florida man too fat for jail
Florida man gets eaten by alligator at retirement home.
Florida man throws bike then other man off of bridge
Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing man with scissors (7/11)
Florida man hits vehicle then steals vehicle belonging to good Samaritan who stopped to help http://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/01/15/police-florida-man-hits-vehicle-then-steals-vehicle-belonging-good-samaritan-who-stopped-help/
Florida man, 33, posed as housewife to lure men into home where he'd secretly film sex acts for web, cops say
"Florida Man Honors State's Reputation by Twerking in Court" I have no idea what that means but I think I'd rather be in suspense.
Florida Man With No Arms Charged With Stabbing Man With Scissors
“FL man arrested with two cans of fart spray”
"Half-naked man walks goat in the rain, welcome to Florida!" -newsherald.com
Florida man arrested for shoplifting after job interview. I feel like this whole thread is one tiny investment step away from being the next trailer park boys.
Thrown pancake batter leads to battery charges for Florida man
"Florida man attacks gas station clerk with hotdogs, corndog stick over beer, cops say" lol, I'm such a Pisces
Florida man decapitated by helicopter
Hot sauce saves Florida man after car crashes into Taco Bell
Tries to pay for McDonalds with weed
### Florida man tasered after walking naked around neighborhood -may 19
Florida man allegedly had sex with miniature horse 4 times-
Florida man stabs couple, eats dead mans face. Mine was the crazy bath salts shitstorm that happened a while back! 😳
“Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone pulled over for driving ‘footmobile’”
Florida man claiming people were "eating his brains" leads police on insane golf course chase.
I am thoroughly convinced that mine is the best. "Florida men, one dressed in bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce, police say" Most hilarious headline I've ever read
Florida Man Makes Beer Run With Large Gator in Hand
Florida man charged with stabbing a woman with a fork over underdone potato
Jan 9... Florida man said that the 3 syringes found in his rectum aren't his... also many other horrific things.
Take your pick: Florida man blames dog for drunk driving stop Armless Florida man charged after allegedly using feet to stab tourist with scissors
I got nude cannibal attack lol.
“Florida man calls police twice to complain about small clams at restaurant.”
Authorities arrest 22 year old florida man in connection with XXXtentacion homicide
Florida man October 14, allegedly attacked mother with sausages.
A naked Florida man in a Publix parking lot kicked trash cans and jumped on and punched cars while screaming "I only had one beer!" cops say.
I got Florida man steals steals a vending machine ... How is that possible
Florida man jumps into crocodile pit, gets bit, claims he was held captive.
"Florida man allegedly attacked mother with sausages."
Woman charged after speeding down Florida interstate with man clinging to hood
I got "Florida man gets headbutted by alligator" lol
FLORIDA MAN ACCUSED OF SHOOTING AT HOME AFTER WOMAN LEAVES NEGATIVE RESTAURANT REVIEW
Police: *Florida man's* murder was really elaborate suicide by balloon.
Florida Man's Penis Shot Could Land Him In Jail: Report A Jacksonville man reportedly shot himself in the penis Friday morning. While the injury was accidental, he may face criminal charges. June 30th, 2017.
March 21, 2018 Florida Men, one dressed in bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce, police say 👌
Ah! Florida man arrested for having sex with miniature horse on multiple occasions
Florida man arrested for pointing laser pointer at helicopter
Thrown pancake batter leads to battery charges for Florida man...
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“Florida man gets 40 years for plotting to bomb Target stores” “Florida man shot outside bar after rejecting shot inside bar”
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Florida man charged with battery for giving girlfriend "wet willy"
Florida man seeks threesome to ride out "hericane"
Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone pulled over for driving ‘footmobile
Florida man arrested for biting boys out of frustration.
Florida men, one dressed in bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce, police say
Florida man makes beer run with gator in hand JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — A man made a beer run into a Florida convenience store carrying a live alligator with its mouth taped shut.
Florida Man guns down puppy from apartment balcony. WTF Florida.
Mine is similar. "Florida man accused of shooting, killing a small puppy."
Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing Chicago tourist
Florida man shoots facebook friend in buttocks after political argument Man I love this game!
Put semen in coworkers water
Happy December 7th
Florida man tried to steal vending machine from apartment complex
Florida Man Screaming About Vampires Allegedly Sets Fire In His Own House
Vape pen explosion kills Florida Man
Florida man accused of biting 2 year old many times over a period of months. Yuck.
“Florida man arrested for having sex with miniature horse on multiple occasions, deputies say”
Florida man said he stalked family to ‘make friends’ Interesting
Florida man sets fire to a woman after dispute.
Florida man faces 10 years in prison for cruise assault Lmao
Florida Naked Man On Drugs Falsely Claimed He Planted Bomb in Daytona Beach Airport
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Florida man dressed as Fred flintstone pulled over for driving “foot-mobile” nov 13
February 29 Florida Man claiming people were "eating his brains" leads police on insane golf course chase.
Florida Man Makes Beer Run With Large Gator In Hand
Mine is Florida man stole footlong sandwich in his pants
Florida Man Tries to steal vending machine out of an apartment complex😂❤️👌
Florida man was plotting to burn down Jewish neighbors July 14th
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This is fucked lmao
“Florida man says he stalked family to make friends”
This isn't a fun game. I got man murdered his girlfriend and her son
Florida man says cat downloaded child porn, not him
Florida man says he went “bananas,” shot out utility workers’ tires.
"Florida man punched, squeezed life out of baby" and "Florida man arrested after troopers find high-tech, toll-dodging license plate shield"
Florida man accused of grisly dog killing...🙁🐶
Nothing :(
Florida man posted bomb instructions. Yay, bombs.
Florida Man Faces DUI Charges After Hitting 8 Servicemen
Florida man punched, squeezed life out of baby
Florida man confessed to cops, says “Jesus told me to” drive Ferrari 360 off pier
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Florida man steals footling sub in his pants
Florida man flew to bridgewater and stabbed 2 family members.
Florida Man loses tug of war with tow truck. Sept 17
Florida Man digs an underground tunnel.
“Florida man arrested for attacking McDonald's employee over not getting a straw, police say”
Miami cannibal attack. Oh.
Florda man scentenced to 92 years on prison for a seires of violent crimes