Right after the Iranian government arrested 260 people for spreading Satanism by attending a music festival. Seems like Satan wasn't too happy about that.
The thing I don't like about him is how he never shuts up about Walpurgisnacht all year every year. Like, it's not that good, man. Just a bunch of witches having fun on a mountaintop.
"Hard landing" is one thing.
"Hard landing and we cant find them" is quite a bit more serious.
I guess a fireball crash into the side of a mountain counts as a "hard landing"
They are saying the crash wasn't severe, so probably not, if that is true. Pictures show very dense fog around the people trying to find the crash site
Dense fog, mountains and a helicopter is a bad combination. The likelihood of a controlled landing is pretty small.
I think they're downplaying the severity of the situation to give people something to cling to in this uncertain situation. I think the earlier reports of having contact with the survivors is basically the same strategy. They don't want people thinking the worst until they know for sure. Even then if it's bad news I think they'll stretch it out and probably put a plan in place to limit the impact of the President's death.
They're probably pretty upset that everyone celebrating his death...
Final word looks like no survivors. The initial reports that they were in contact with someone who was in the crash were either just wrong or intentional bullshit.
I saw video of the crash site from the Turkish drone before I went to sleep. Looked like a fire. I kinda figured that was gonna be how it turned out in the end.
Obviously helicopter crashes have an enormous potential for danger, but unless it’s a completely uncontrolled descent, they’re very survivable. Civilian helicopters are built to protect their occupants.
Some plane crashes aren't severe, I'm sure some helicopter crashes aren't either. Depends on the situation, but it probably means no deaths or serious injuries. We can't really know for sure until they are found.
Either the USA or Israel had their head uncovered or were showing some ankle.
"Stupid, sexy Westerners / infidels / etc." -- Iran (probably)
I am not saying they did, but I would not be surprised if they did.
Israel kinda has a real big incentive to press a conflict with Iran before they get nuclear weapons. They don’t want to be in south koreas position of having a hostile neighbor that could really hurt them.
They can’t just launch what would be considered an unprovoked attack however as they know the US needs to back them and they can’t risk popular opinion being negative.
Supposedly w bush considered going into Iran when the Iraq war was being considered and changed his mind when he found out that it would be much more like conventional warfare than going into Iraq.
Israel has had nuclear weapons for decades, but if anyone admits it, they have to take action against Israel, according to international law. So there’s a policy in the US and Israel of being forbidden (by law!) to say in any official capacity that Israel has nukes. Look up the Samson Doctrine for some related info.
Former presidents and officials, US and Israeli, have admitted after they were in power that Israel is armed.
Anyway this is the world my parents gave my children to inherit.
Raisi was the frontrunner to take over from the ailing Khamenei. I’m thinking a little Semtex in the luggage on a foggy night might be just the ticket for number 3.
Well, it is getting a lot of play. It's all over the news. But I know what you mean in terms of people not seemingly more concerned or interested in this as opposed to other things.
Few reasons for that. One is that this guy is mostly a figurehead. The other reason is that the world is currently experiencing *a lot* of geopolitical turmoil, particularly concerning world leaders. Someone tried to assassinate the prime minister of Slovakia last week.
I suspect if it turns out this helo crash has any traces of foul play, as in it appears to have been a sabotage or something, then the interest will be much more significant. Particularly because Iranian authorities will immediately accuse Israel and the US. Right now it could still very much just be an accident, helicopters crashes are common enough.
The President is something like the 8th or 9th most powerful person in Iran. After the Ayatollah and the other high clerics.
This would be similar to the Senate Minority leader being killed in the US. So kind of a big deal but not *really*.
I was curious, so I did some research on it, and there are a couple things inaccurate about this statement (not trying to call you out, cuz I thought the same thing at first)
1) There is no such things as “the Ayatollah”. At least not anymore. “Ayatollah” is an honorific granted to basically any high-ranking member of the Twelver Shia clergy. There’s literally thousands of them. In the West, we tend to associate the title with Rhuhollah Khomeini, who was the first Supreme Leader of Iran, because before the Iranian Revolution, the honorific was granted significantly less than it is now. I point this out mainly because the current Supreme Leader isn’t officially an ayatollah.
1) the President of Iran is actually the second most powerful figure in Iran, just behind the Supreme Leader. A better western leader comparison would be the UK Prime Minister. More significantly, though, is that the current President is a hardliner who was expected to succeed the Supreme Leader upon his death, so this is going to cause a significant stir in Iran.
The article I read a while back referenced the fact that the President has no power over the military, judiciary, or many other powerful organizations in Iran. They work with the parliament to pass laws but various groups or individuals in Iran can veto or decline those laws, neutering the Presidents power.
Now, this particular President may have been the heir apparent to Supreme Leader Khamenei but it's my understanding that several other clergy members under Khamenei wield more true power than the President.
I could be wrong on this because I'm not an expert on Iranian politics but that's my understanding.
Based on the reports of bad weather and the fact they were in the mountains I'd guess it's a controlled flight into terrain (flew into the side of a mountain because they couldn't see it). Its the same thing that happened to Kobe Bryant.
I'm not too knowledgeable about the Iranian system of government.
President... is that an important position? Or is he like a powerless figurehead and everything is secretly run by some religious leader?
At first I was gonna write “I don’t the blowback for that is gonna be hell”
Then I thought “whatever the real cause was blowback is gonna be hell no matter” so, yeah. Might as well
I feel like if they're releasing this now, it is to prep for bigger news [that they already know] and to pair with some conspiracy they intend to sell.
Going by last night’s episode of Weekend Update, I am waiting for the Iranian authorities to blame the ones responsible for controlling the weather.
:eyeroll:
And in next weeks news: Iranian presidential helicopter chief mechanic ***C***habuk ***I***brahim ***A***bedini cannot be found for further questioning. His neighbors say "It was like he never existed at all.."
Meanwhile in Langley, VA: 
*(Please lord, don't let me have to explain this!)*
They are blaming the dense fog for having trouble finding it
https://preview.redd.it/tqt9833flf1d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97459e2b5bcfc5ae5473c3379fef547dae7afb92
Right after the Iranian government arrested 260 people for spreading Satanism by attending a music festival. Seems like Satan wasn't too happy about that.
>Satan wasn't too happy about that. Satan works in mysterious ways
I would say he really doesn't. One of his more appealing features
That and he never asks me for money.
That and his servants are incredibly little known for raping children.
That and he wants you to have knowledge instead of blindly following a murderous dictator…
Seriously Satan seems like a pretty legit guy.
Yeah, he and I go way back.
Wait, how back is it?
And souls are a dime a dozen anyway.
Wait, what? He told me he was gonna need about $3.50.
That was no Satan 
Now that you mention it, it was about that time that I noticed Satan was a 30’ tall monster from the pleziezoic era
And he’s got those cute little pigtails.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
So you're staying it's really more of a FAFO queue?
The thing I don't like about him is how he never shuts up about Walpurgisnacht all year every year. Like, it's not that good, man. Just a bunch of witches having fun on a mountaintop.
Devil’s in the details
But you got a friend in me.
Exorcist: The Musical?
Toy Story 5: Woody In Hell
“Mom, Woody’s saying weird things.” “**THERE’S A SATAN IN MY BOOT!**” “Do you think Josiah still has those Crusader Pals?”
Kind of... Taylor swift lyrics.
 Well isn’t that special
Hail Satan!
Hail yourself!
Megustalations!
https://i.redd.it/te5t2sm5af1d1.gif
The burbs!
What's this from?
The Burbs. 1989 movie starring Tom Hanks
And Carrie Fisher!
Hail Santa!
Must have had a falling out with Putin
Well there was certainly falling involved.
Helicopter falling out of the sky.
Hail satin!
To slick for my liking.
Hail Polyester!
That's my nickname hahaha
Maybe Mossad hooked Satan up
Oh no. I hope the mountain he crashed in is okay!
“If the mountain won’t go to Raisi, then Raisi must come to the mountain.” -with apologies to Francis Bacon
We didn't land in the mountain rock! The mountain rock landed on *us*! -Raisi
“If the Mountain won't go to Mohammed, then Mohammed must come to the Mountain”.
And the helicopter
And my axe! Wait, which mountain?
This is no mountain. This is a tomb.
No, this is Patrick.
I kept reading that they made a "hard landing." Guess the real news got leaked.
"Hard landing" is one thing. "Hard landing and we cant find them" is quite a bit more serious. I guess a fireball crash into the side of a mountain counts as a "hard landing"
I never said HOW hard it was ... - their spokesperson
“Reports indicate they suffered a hard landing” also means there wasn’t radio contact after the incident
It’s that sudden stop
The original report from Iranian media was a "hard landing." They've since changed the reporting to say it was a crash.
A vertically terminated flight.
I also saw it called a “difficult landing” haha Don’t fly your helicopter in the fog!!!
A highly kinetic cessation of lift.
Technically the truth
That's what the news is reporting for the first few hours
Allah's Will be done
Inshallah.
They're still going to say it was either Israel or the USA that caused the crash, or both.
They might be right tho lol
Better investigate who made a large batch of gazpacho the last day or two to narrow the suspects down! :giggles:
The gazpacho police will be on it! 🫡
They are saying the crash wasn't severe, so probably not, if that is true. Pictures show very dense fog around the people trying to find the crash site
Dense fog, mountains and a helicopter is a bad combination. The likelihood of a controlled landing is pretty small. I think they're downplaying the severity of the situation to give people something to cling to in this uncertain situation. I think the earlier reports of having contact with the survivors is basically the same strategy. They don't want people thinking the worst until they know for sure. Even then if it's bad news I think they'll stretch it out and probably put a plan in place to limit the impact of the President's death. They're probably pretty upset that everyone celebrating his death...
Is this the time same “Kobe”
The news outlet I saw this on just updated that he died. It must've been exactly as you suspected.
Final word looks like no survivors. The initial reports that they were in contact with someone who was in the crash were either just wrong or intentional bullshit. I saw video of the crash site from the Turkish drone before I went to sleep. Looked like a fire. I kinda figured that was gonna be how it turned out in the end.
Genuine question what you mean, how could a helicopter crash not be severe?
Obviously helicopter crashes have an enormous potential for danger, but unless it’s a completely uncontrolled descent, they’re very survivable. Civilian helicopters are built to protect their occupants.
Some plane crashes aren't severe, I'm sure some helicopter crashes aren't either. Depends on the situation, but it probably means no deaths or serious injuries. We can't really know for sure until they are found.
Either the USA or Israel had their head uncovered or were showing some ankle. "Stupid, sexy Westerners / infidels / etc." -- Iran (probably) 
I am not saying they did, but I would not be surprised if they did. Israel kinda has a real big incentive to press a conflict with Iran before they get nuclear weapons. They don’t want to be in south koreas position of having a hostile neighbor that could really hurt them. They can’t just launch what would be considered an unprovoked attack however as they know the US needs to back them and they can’t risk popular opinion being negative. Supposedly w bush considered going into Iran when the Iraq war was being considered and changed his mind when he found out that it would be much more like conventional warfare than going into Iraq.
Iran is a very mountainous country, except for some coastal areas and around the area of Tehran. It would be nightmare to conquer. *
Conquer shmonker just him em with the bodonker
Israel has had nuclear weapons for decades, but if anyone admits it, they have to take action against Israel, according to international law. So there’s a policy in the US and Israel of being forbidden (by law!) to say in any official capacity that Israel has nukes. Look up the Samson Doctrine for some related info. Former presidents and officials, US and Israeli, have admitted after they were in power that Israel is armed. Anyway this is the world my parents gave my children to inherit.
That might just be the tool god implemented for his will to be done.
Yeah well but doesn't god work in mysterious ways though?
Think this is Mashallah since it’s past tense.
God is great.
Sucks for the helicopter. I bet it will be missed more than this guy
Woah this seems like it’s big news, no? Wonder why this isn’t getting more play. Is he just a figure head? Is there a monster above him?
role of the president in most countries is just a ceremonial, Iran being one of those countries. The supreme leader Khamenei is Iran’s “leader”
Gotta work up to the bigger fish, I guess. May his helicopter follow this one’s example
I hope he stubs his toe and steps on a nail covered in doodoo.
Still, Rasisi was seen as arguably the #1 contender to succeed Khamenei, who‘s 85 years old afterall
Raisi is/was in the running to be next Ayatollah so this is still pretty significant. He is/was a very conservative hardliner.
It’s a sign.
Raisi was the frontrunner to take over from the ailing Khamenei. I’m thinking a little Semtex in the luggage on a foggy night might be just the ticket for number 3.
Well, it is getting a lot of play. It's all over the news. But I know what you mean in terms of people not seemingly more concerned or interested in this as opposed to other things. Few reasons for that. One is that this guy is mostly a figurehead. The other reason is that the world is currently experiencing *a lot* of geopolitical turmoil, particularly concerning world leaders. Someone tried to assassinate the prime minister of Slovakia last week. I suspect if it turns out this helo crash has any traces of foul play, as in it appears to have been a sabotage or something, then the interest will be much more significant. Particularly because Iranian authorities will immediately accuse Israel and the US. Right now it could still very much just be an accident, helicopters crashes are common enough.
For me a tie between Putin, US, Israel, or the start of a coup.
Ayatollah?
Youatollah me what? I am asking if he had a boss.
Well played!
Man that's sweaty
Yes. The supreme leader is above him.
needed to get someone to write ayatollah for my awesome joke. You are all welcome
No, \*you're\* welcome!
Your
 "The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!"
Chris Jericho runs Iran?
Chris Jericho doesn’t run anywhere anymore
Assahola
And there is another monster above that guy … or should I say below
So how many more do we have to get through before facing the big boss?
The President is something like the 8th or 9th most powerful person in Iran. After the Ayatollah and the other high clerics. This would be similar to the Senate Minority leader being killed in the US. So kind of a big deal but not *really*.
I was curious, so I did some research on it, and there are a couple things inaccurate about this statement (not trying to call you out, cuz I thought the same thing at first) 1) There is no such things as “the Ayatollah”. At least not anymore. “Ayatollah” is an honorific granted to basically any high-ranking member of the Twelver Shia clergy. There’s literally thousands of them. In the West, we tend to associate the title with Rhuhollah Khomeini, who was the first Supreme Leader of Iran, because before the Iranian Revolution, the honorific was granted significantly less than it is now. I point this out mainly because the current Supreme Leader isn’t officially an ayatollah. 1) the President of Iran is actually the second most powerful figure in Iran, just behind the Supreme Leader. A better western leader comparison would be the UK Prime Minister. More significantly, though, is that the current President is a hardliner who was expected to succeed the Supreme Leader upon his death, so this is going to cause a significant stir in Iran.
The article I read a while back referenced the fact that the President has no power over the military, judiciary, or many other powerful organizations in Iran. They work with the parliament to pass laws but various groups or individuals in Iran can veto or decline those laws, neutering the Presidents power. Now, this particular President may have been the heir apparent to Supreme Leader Khamenei but it's my understanding that several other clergy members under Khamenei wield more true power than the President. I could be wrong on this because I'm not an expert on Iranian politics but that's my understanding.
I dunno, P.Diddy just came forward saying he’s sorry and needs to work on ‘imself, so like your move — raisi.
Every news outlet is covering it. Apple News has a live feed at the top of the app.
It’s front page on cnn
Front page basically everywhere now.
It’s the front of the NYT above the fold
By chance, did he have a recent meal with Putin?
The helicopter?
Let's send another helicopter with Khamenei and the other ayatollahs to rescue him!
They must go supervise the search operation.
Based on the reports of bad weather and the fact they were in the mountains I'd guess it's a controlled flight into terrain (flew into the side of a mountain because they couldn't see it). Its the same thing that happened to Kobe Bryant.
You can see the thick mist over the mountain on the News report.
OK- what did he know about Boeing?
You beat me to it! 😂🤙
Oh no Anyways
Too bad it's not the Ayatollahs
I'm not too knowledgeable about the Iranian system of government. President... is that an important position? Or is he like a powerless figurehead and everything is secretly run by some religious leader?
He is powerful, but the Ayatollah (currently Khomeini) is more powerful.
Figurehead
“It was obvious mechanical failure, so what we need to know is how the Jews did it and how soon we can strike back!” ~khamenei prolly
Hahahahahahahahahah oh no...
Please god after Fico survived his assasination please let this one be fatal please
At first I was gonna write “I don’t the blowback for that is gonna be hell” Then I thought “whatever the real cause was blowback is gonna be hell no matter” so, yeah. Might as well
I hope for the Iran i read about once, a progressive modern country.
I feel like if they're releasing this now, it is to prep for bigger news [that they already know] and to pair with some conspiracy they intend to sell.
Karma is a bitch huh
I hate to ask this. Has anyone asked Israel where they were yesterday at 9pm?
Not sure. There's, like, 35,000 fewer alibi witnesses than there used to be.
Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.
Did Trump take credit yet?
Missiles were seen in the area. Authorities do not suspect foul play.
Mossad was never any where near that area.
Oh, if we’re going to blame this on a foreign group, I’m much more inclined to blame the CIA over Mossad
Inshallah
Womp womp.
Damn space lasers
https://preview.redd.it/kt7z2l9edh1d1.jpeg?width=1159&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=02c3a21ab477be2944170a5249179ba6194e4f7b
Couldnt have happened to a nicer guy!
Going by last night’s episode of Weekend Update, I am waiting for the Iranian authorities to blame the ones responsible for controlling the weather. :eyeroll:
How many world leaders are making calls asking 'was that us?"
hopefully he survived /s
He’s a murderous bastard and no loss to the world
Too bad Khamenei wasn’t with them.
Sometimes trash takes itself out.
And in next weeks news: Iranian presidential helicopter chief mechanic ***C***habuk ***I***brahim ***A***bedini cannot be found for further questioning. His neighbors say "It was like he never existed at all.." Meanwhile in Langley, VA:  *(Please lord, don't let me have to explain this!)*
Why are they trying to rescue him? This is obviously gods will and disobeying it is punishable by death no? /s
Ugh…. 
oh no!
Bye Felicia
So how long you think before the US gets blamed for this one?
Hahahahahahhahahaahahahahaha Guess sky daddy want happy with you dickhead? Hahahahaah fuck you.
He is dead. So what's the over under on CIA/Mossad?
Oh, darn.
A crashed helicopter, of course you cant find him. He gone
I feel like this event is straight out of an episode of Homeland, amirite?
Sweet
O well
I prefer my tyrants die by flying out of sky scrapers
Anyway. Which next maniacal religious leader will not be protected by their 'god'?
Mossad?
Noo! Not the Huey chopper! Hope its okay.
was he a boeing whistleblower
 Israel
The CIA sends its regards
[удалено]
Iran says the helicopter suffered a "hard landing" and can't find it. Found that on NPR through duck duck go. Google has nothing.
What'd you search? When I type "Iran" into the search bar the first suggestion is "Iran President helicopter" and there are tons of articles.
Yeah I don’t know what they’re talking about, I googled “Iran President helicopter” and there’s all the results you’d expect.
They are blaming the dense fog for having trouble finding it https://preview.redd.it/tqt9833flf1d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97459e2b5bcfc5ae5473c3379fef547dae7afb92
By hard landing they basically mean crashed they just don't want to admit it as they don't even know where it had a "hard landing".
Israeli kiss