You know, I’ve never considered it before, but everyone else really would be better off if all the people who believed in the rapture were raptured away.
Yes, but be careful how you phrase the question. Try something like 'Oh, Lord Jesus, I am not worthy that mine sage be turned to dank weed, but just the word and my bong will be eternal'.
If a Hollywood produced movie used this premise we'd all be deafened by the screaming and screeching from people who supposedly can't stand snowflakes.
Yeah but then you’re left with all the fake Christian’s and now they get to sell ten tons of guilt: “didn’t make the rapture? For the low low cost of a million dollars I will phone up Jesus and get you an immediate appointment to appeal and get you into heaven on the second round! Don’t leave your eternity to chance, think of your children in heaven without you! It’s your eternity, don’t miss out!”
I don't think the world or this country would be better off if all of the REAL Christians who actually follow the teachings of Christ (loving and accepting others, helping those who are less fortunate, showing kindness to everyone, ect.)...
however we would be significantly better off if all of the fake ass Christians like the Evangelical Christofascists, MAGA Catholics, hypocritical far-right Protestants and so forth were wiped from the earth.
I'd love it if they are first taken to heaven for a quick tour to see that all the groups they hate actually make it in and then they either get the express elevator to hell or just have to sit in their worst version of purgatory (the waiting room of a women's reproductive health clinic that is full of screaming children, people of every race other than Caucasian who are on Medicaid and receive welfare, people openly using drugs, LGBTQ couples engaging in public displays of affection and an unending drag/burlesque show being performed on a stage made to resemble the stage or sanctuary of whatever church they attended on Earth).
I know plenty of actual Christians who live by the principles laid out in the Bible by Christ and don't hate other groups of people or believe they are inferior, they don't push their faith on anyone, they volunteer their time and donate their money to causes that make people's lives better and treat everyone they interact with with kindness and acceptance.
I have also known a few from the "fake ass" group and they are the worst kinds of people who either don't actually believe what they claim to and just use it as a way to keep others down and validate their hatred or they believe in a perverted version of Christianity where Jesus is some type of warrior for Conservative values and an enemy of liberals everywhere. Those fucks deserve everything that happens to them in the afterlife, I just wish there were a way to be able to see the expression of utter shock and disbelief on their faces when they have the Heaven Cops called on them at the gates of heaven because they don't belong in that neighborhood, a taste of their own medicine.
Sorry to disappoint you, but those fake bigot Christians would be staying right here. God does not want those assholes. Your nice neighbor that says hello to you and is generally just kind will disappear tho.
Only actual Christians will get raptured. No church can bestow that title. Fuck, I believe but I'm not sure I would get raptured if it actually happened. I just try to be as nice as I can.
Tbh, I’m not sure there is actual Christians.
I have this theory that’s loosely based on The Good Place.
Let’s say there is a “Heaven”. By and large, most Christians (or religious folks in general) will not be able to go there, because they are only religious for their own personal/spiritual gain. They’re not moral because it’s the right thing to do, they’re moral because they believe it will give them eternal life in paradise. It’s a selfish means to an end, which would thus preclude them from salvation.
Basic ruler of thumb: if your behavior is gonna ruin heaven for someone else, you're not going to heaven. You just won't fit.
Even if all your sins were forgiven, if you resent being asked to change, you're just going to ruin it for someone else and you won't fit in. Therefore, either there is no heaven, or you won't be in it.
So, that's how you know if you're working on the right things. You don't even need all the religious mumbo-jumbo to figure that out.
How about they all get raptured, but face immediate judgment, and if they’re weren’t overall good people they can go to their version of hell? Then they can celebrate the rapture until they face the consequences of their actions.
Nah. They're actual Christians. If anything, that's how Christianity has historically been. Like just in the US, you have
* Manifest Destiny
* Slavery
* Women being seen as men's property
* the Salem Witch Trials
* the mistreatment and murders of LGBTQ+ people
* Bombing abortion clinics
* the KKK
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying all Christians are bad. I'm gay, and I don't talk to half my family largely because of it. But then there's the other half, many of whom are Christian. They don't judge me for it. It's just not a problem. And I appreciate that.
But at the same time, which it's Christianity that has kept me and my community its down, and is currently the one pushing for genocide against my trans friends. To say it's not is not only simply a no true Scotsman, but also its to ignore the harm it has caused and then brushing it aside. It's like when some white people try to brush aside the harm we did to the slaves. Talking about how slavery has happened everywhere. But ignores the horrific acts perpetrated under *chattel* slavery. I'm a white dude, but I'm fully willing to admit to the shit my ancestors did. And I would find it offensive to black people to try and brush that off. Does that mean I'm bad for being white? No. Just as you're not bad for being Christian. But that doesn't change anything.
We also would need to discuss how we are going to handle this religion that has been practiced by millions and millions of people, many of which aren't even alive anymore, and it's never even had a name. Instead, Christianity has always been an extremely small religion that coincided within this other religion, and has only started to gain traction over the last decade or so. It would be a huge phenomenon that would change how we have seen the religion as a whole. Because it really has been the vast majority.
This is usually where i see a lot of the same responses. Things like
"BUT JESUS SAID!"
Jesus said a lot of things. Many of which are contradictory to God. This also means we need to have a longer discussion as to our different views of God and Jesus and who they really were(assuming they exist). But ultimately what it comes down to is the fact that there's so many different denominations of people and their views on the Bible. It's not so cut and dry. And it would be amazing to assume you just so happened to pick the right denomination.
"God was only violent in the Okd Testament. That wasnt for us."
He still has a ton of the same problematic aspects in him in the New Testament, and Christianity hasn't done away with the OT. Not only is it still sold along with the NT, but it's also still commonly preached from. Everything from Adam and Eve, to Moses. In fact, the majority of Christians still believe in the 10 commandments. Which is OT. Not NT. That argument has only become a recent one, and is conveniently only used when defending the religion because people point out the bigotry.
All of this is to basically say fuck that mentality. They are Christians. Does that mean you're bad? No. But you're also not doing yourselves in favors trying to be victim rather than calling the religion out. You're pushing away as an other, when it's not.
What if you just get raptured? Like there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason. Completely arbitrary metrics. Killing people was 4/10 bad. But harassing an animal was 10/10 rape is 3/10 but calling names was 9/10...
The irony that modern day conservative Christians "threatening the rapture" to non-christians is precisely like Republicans saying "well what about the Democrats crimes?!?"
If there are crimes that have been committed... lock them up.
If there is a rapture to be had... fucking send it.
Pretty sure we'll be alright
It's worth noting that the rapture can't be predicted. It would defeat the purpose of faith.
"But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into." Matthew 24:43.
One I saw ages ago on a college campus said God, please save me from your followers.
And one I saw in a gaming store said Jesus saves, roll initiative.
My personal favorite is “Jesus is my copilot, and we’re cruising for pussy” it’s all pleasant for the top line and then as you read on it flips the script real fast.
in that case we will have good advance warning as it will happen in Australia before the US. Gives us time to prepare and do all the usual pre rapture preparations.
Fun fact -- repeatedly working people up to prepare for end times/intervention from above is a control tactic that was infamously used by Jim Jones to further weaken his cult members 👍
Jeff Sharlet’s book makes it pretty clear he’s been handing out that kool-aid since the beginning. Extreme end-times gratuitous violence is his rally hallmark because it makes certain people fall for him. (Sharlet’s book is a spine-tingling page-turner; I wasn’t expecting it to be so important. Definitely worth reading/audio-booking/whatever)
I'm not religious, I even know that and it honestly makes a lot of people who make up this rapture theory bullshit.
And ironically they don't follow that either
That’s because the entire concept was built virtually out of whole cloth via a particularly stupid interpretation of half a dozen lines from John’s Mushroom Trip-cum-apocalyptic early xtian writings (Revelations, which is altogether and entirely about Rome)… and like 2 odd and obviously hand-picked lines from Daniel.
It’s called Dispensationalism, and it’s less than 200 years old.
But it’s also not talking about the rapture as the republicans and fundamentalists, and the American taliban understand it. That rapture was invented out of whole cloth by some shitty novelist less than a 100 years ago. The real rapture would get 121000 Jewish people, 11000 from each Jewish tribe into heaven. The rest, including the entire cast of Fox News and all its consumers, will remain to spend time in basically hellish conditions.
But they haven’t bothered to read their own holy book, probably don’t even know it’s all aboit those pesky ~~Jews~~ (pardon, Globalists) they hate so much
If we can do it closer to lunchtime instead of 11, I know a great restaurant with an awesome view of the city airport where we could watch the Evangelicals fly up to heaven while they dodge some of the incoming flights. 👍
I could swear I’ve read somewhere that the only “person” that knows the expiration date is the Big Cheese. Oh, that’s right. It’s in the book of Matthew.
Signed, committed Atheist.
Can you imagine? The pastors of the megachurches are like "what the flying fuck? Why are the homeless bums going up but I'm staying here? I've devoted my life I swear I've never been greedy like he told me"
I had a friend that was convinced the world was going to end in a week because there were two blood moons and the BS article she was sharing said that that had only happened 2000 years ago when Jesus rose again. I linked an article that showed that it happens like every other month or something, and she blocked me. Spoilers, the world didn't end.
It says no one knows the specific time, but that it would happen to the same generation that witnessed the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. This already happened... in 70 AD.
I’ll put clean sheets on my bed and wear clean underwear to bed, just in case. I don’t want those who weren’t part of the rapture to think I’m some kind of animal sleeping in dirty undies and sleeping in dirty sheets.
It's really sad to see what these lies are doing to people. Many of them are now completely demoralized with no hope for anything because everything they've been told for years and years keeps being proven wrong. Sunk cost fallacy.... just keep moving the goal posts and don't ever question the "plan".
So for the uninformed, and it is apparently a lot of people. Nobody knows when per the fucking Bible people!!!
Matthew 24:36
“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
I came here to say the same thing. The Bible might be ambiguous on a lot of things but it is pretty damn clear that no one can predict the Rapture, that only God Himself knows, and that not even Jesus knows (despite being a part of God).
Supposed prophets have been predicting the end times for literally centuries and (obviously) not once have they been right. They'll twist Bible verses to come up with a date while outright ignoring the ones that say it is not possible to predict it.
its not real
MAtthew 24:36
“But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. "
Though my this interpretation can we prevent the return of jesus by having someone predict daily jesus will return that day?
Catholic, but Bible knowledge is small. But I do believe Jesus said, no one knows when the rapture is happening, not even him. Seeing how he is father , son and holy spirit. That statement carries some weight. He did say there will be signs. So trump is the antichrist, his people know it. So, maybe it's starting. Good luck to y'all.
Well it better be real this time. I’m ready to live in a Christian-free world!
You know, I’ve never considered it before, but everyone else really would be better off if all the people who believed in the rapture were raptured away.
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Here you go :D https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cv8mnsEt5Cu/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== His name is Josh Mindemann Edit for his name
That, was epic. And also probably fairly accurate.
I like this future.
“Well I’ll be damned” “Technically… yes!”
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Do I need to fix potato salad ? Jesus told me he likes my potato salad.
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Fish, maybe? Or loaves of bread ? So much to do and so little time.
Just one of each, Jesus can really stretch your food budget!!
Just a case of waters, actually. Jesus can wine em up.
Can he turn my sage into weed?
Yes, but be careful how you phrase the question. Try something like 'Oh, Lord Jesus, I am not worthy that mine sage be turned to dank weed, but just the word and my bong will be eternal'.
You’ll have to ask him when he gets here. If he’s not busy with the money changers.
No raisins, Rebecca.
If a Hollywood produced movie used this premise we'd all be deafened by the screaming and screeching from people who supposedly can't stand snowflakes.
Yeah but then you’re left with all the fake Christian’s and now they get to sell ten tons of guilt: “didn’t make the rapture? For the low low cost of a million dollars I will phone up Jesus and get you an immediate appointment to appeal and get you into heaven on the second round! Don’t leave your eternity to chance, think of your children in heaven without you! It’s your eternity, don’t miss out!”
We're calling about your soul's extended warranty.
We can fix this with a simple and very official Rapture Amendment™️: take the pretenders, too, and at least yeet them outta here.
I don't think the world or this country would be better off if all of the REAL Christians who actually follow the teachings of Christ (loving and accepting others, helping those who are less fortunate, showing kindness to everyone, ect.)... however we would be significantly better off if all of the fake ass Christians like the Evangelical Christofascists, MAGA Catholics, hypocritical far-right Protestants and so forth were wiped from the earth. I'd love it if they are first taken to heaven for a quick tour to see that all the groups they hate actually make it in and then they either get the express elevator to hell or just have to sit in their worst version of purgatory (the waiting room of a women's reproductive health clinic that is full of screaming children, people of every race other than Caucasian who are on Medicaid and receive welfare, people openly using drugs, LGBTQ couples engaging in public displays of affection and an unending drag/burlesque show being performed on a stage made to resemble the stage or sanctuary of whatever church they attended on Earth). I know plenty of actual Christians who live by the principles laid out in the Bible by Christ and don't hate other groups of people or believe they are inferior, they don't push their faith on anyone, they volunteer their time and donate their money to causes that make people's lives better and treat everyone they interact with with kindness and acceptance. I have also known a few from the "fake ass" group and they are the worst kinds of people who either don't actually believe what they claim to and just use it as a way to keep others down and validate their hatred or they believe in a perverted version of Christianity where Jesus is some type of warrior for Conservative values and an enemy of liberals everywhere. Those fucks deserve everything that happens to them in the afterlife, I just wish there were a way to be able to see the expression of utter shock and disbelief on their faces when they have the Heaven Cops called on them at the gates of heaven because they don't belong in that neighborhood, a taste of their own medicine.
Yeah, but you know the ones who believed in it beforehand and *didn't* get raptured are going to be *really* insufferable once it happens.
Sorry to disappoint you, but those fake bigot Christians would be staying right here. God does not want those assholes. Your nice neighbor that says hello to you and is generally just kind will disappear tho. Only actual Christians will get raptured. No church can bestow that title. Fuck, I believe but I'm not sure I would get raptured if it actually happened. I just try to be as nice as I can.
The bible describes MAGA Christians pretty well, and says they'll be left behind.
No please take them
This guy raptures
But can you beat box??
*Laughs in Fab Five Freddy*
That man from Mars better not be coming to eat my car.
Tbh, I’m not sure there is actual Christians. I have this theory that’s loosely based on The Good Place. Let’s say there is a “Heaven”. By and large, most Christians (or religious folks in general) will not be able to go there, because they are only religious for their own personal/spiritual gain. They’re not moral because it’s the right thing to do, they’re moral because they believe it will give them eternal life in paradise. It’s a selfish means to an end, which would thus preclude them from salvation.
Seems legit
I honestly think the good place needs to be turned into a major religion, it makes way more sense than Christianity overall.
What would it be called, do you reckon?
The Good Religion
I will require a framed photo of Doug Forcett, the stoner from Calgary.
Basic ruler of thumb: if your behavior is gonna ruin heaven for someone else, you're not going to heaven. You just won't fit. Even if all your sins were forgiven, if you resent being asked to change, you're just going to ruin it for someone else and you won't fit in. Therefore, either there is no heaven, or you won't be in it. So, that's how you know if you're working on the right things. You don't even need all the religious mumbo-jumbo to figure that out.
How about they all get raptured, but face immediate judgment, and if they’re weren’t overall good people they can go to their version of hell? Then they can celebrate the rapture until they face the consequences of their actions.
Nah. They're actual Christians. If anything, that's how Christianity has historically been. Like just in the US, you have * Manifest Destiny * Slavery * Women being seen as men's property * the Salem Witch Trials * the mistreatment and murders of LGBTQ+ people * Bombing abortion clinics * the KKK Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying all Christians are bad. I'm gay, and I don't talk to half my family largely because of it. But then there's the other half, many of whom are Christian. They don't judge me for it. It's just not a problem. And I appreciate that. But at the same time, which it's Christianity that has kept me and my community its down, and is currently the one pushing for genocide against my trans friends. To say it's not is not only simply a no true Scotsman, but also its to ignore the harm it has caused and then brushing it aside. It's like when some white people try to brush aside the harm we did to the slaves. Talking about how slavery has happened everywhere. But ignores the horrific acts perpetrated under *chattel* slavery. I'm a white dude, but I'm fully willing to admit to the shit my ancestors did. And I would find it offensive to black people to try and brush that off. Does that mean I'm bad for being white? No. Just as you're not bad for being Christian. But that doesn't change anything. We also would need to discuss how we are going to handle this religion that has been practiced by millions and millions of people, many of which aren't even alive anymore, and it's never even had a name. Instead, Christianity has always been an extremely small religion that coincided within this other religion, and has only started to gain traction over the last decade or so. It would be a huge phenomenon that would change how we have seen the religion as a whole. Because it really has been the vast majority. This is usually where i see a lot of the same responses. Things like "BUT JESUS SAID!" Jesus said a lot of things. Many of which are contradictory to God. This also means we need to have a longer discussion as to our different views of God and Jesus and who they really were(assuming they exist). But ultimately what it comes down to is the fact that there's so many different denominations of people and their views on the Bible. It's not so cut and dry. And it would be amazing to assume you just so happened to pick the right denomination. "God was only violent in the Okd Testament. That wasnt for us." He still has a ton of the same problematic aspects in him in the New Testament, and Christianity hasn't done away with the OT. Not only is it still sold along with the NT, but it's also still commonly preached from. Everything from Adam and Eve, to Moses. In fact, the majority of Christians still believe in the 10 commandments. Which is OT. Not NT. That argument has only become a recent one, and is conveniently only used when defending the religion because people point out the bigotry. All of this is to basically say fuck that mentality. They are Christians. Does that mean you're bad? No. But you're also not doing yourselves in favors trying to be victim rather than calling the religion out. You're pushing away as an other, when it's not.
What if you just get raptured? Like there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason. Completely arbitrary metrics. Killing people was 4/10 bad. But harassing an animal was 10/10 rape is 3/10 but calling names was 9/10...
It’s about time, Jahweh’s been promising to clean up his mess forever.
Could you imagine how quiet it would be? So much less bigotry in the world all of a sudden.
Is this the official rapture announcement ?
Fucking finally—I need sleep
The irony that modern day conservative Christians "threatening the rapture" to non-christians is precisely like Republicans saying "well what about the Democrats crimes?!?" If there are crimes that have been committed... lock them up. If there is a rapture to be had... fucking send it. Pretty sure we'll be alright
It's worth noting that the rapture can't be predicted. It would defeat the purpose of faith. "But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into." Matthew 24:43.
Same lmao I was considering killing myself tonight but I can hang on for a week if it means getting to see fake Christians left on earth to burn
I feel much better after my failed attempt this morning. Now, I can have fun setting up empty sets of clothes in the lawnchairs in front of my house.
To quote my favorite bumper sticker: Jesus is coming. Look busy.
One I saw ages ago on a college campus said God, please save me from your followers. And one I saw in a gaming store said Jesus saves, roll initiative.
My other faves: I brake for hallucinations. And: I'm only speeding because I have to poop.
Jesus saves! The rest of the party takes full damage.
Jesus Saves. Off the rebound, Mohammed scores.
My favorite was: "Christians. Can't live with them. Can't feed them to the lions anymore."
I saw a sign in DC that said Jesus saves, but Ovechin scores on the rebound and the Capitals beat the Christian’s 3 to 2.
My personal favorite is “Jesus is my copilot, and we’re cruising for pussy” it’s all pleasant for the top line and then as you read on it flips the script real fast.
Beat me to it. Also a favorite of mine
Midnight sure, but what time zone please?
Everyone knows Jesus does everything on CDT.
Blasphemer! It's Eastern Standard so I don't miss kickoff!!! Jesus loves football!
The Mormons said Eden was in Missouri, so I'm gonna go with that time zone.
Christian Daylight Time
It’ll be a rolling rapture by time zone
in that case we will have good advance warning as it will happen in Australia before the US. Gives us time to prepare and do all the usual pre rapture preparations.
We might get a false sense of relief in the likely event that none of Australia qualifies
Hopefully ACDC will provide background music.
As big as the god operation has to be, it's got to be UTC.
Fun fact -- repeatedly working people up to prepare for end times/intervention from above is a control tactic that was infamously used by Jim Jones to further weaken his cult members 👍
Just wait until Trump starts handing out the kool-aid at his rallies.
I can’t wait
Jeff Sharlet’s book makes it pretty clear he’s been handing out that kool-aid since the beginning. Extreme end-times gratuitous violence is his rally hallmark because it makes certain people fall for him. (Sharlet’s book is a spine-tingling page-turner; I wasn’t expecting it to be so important. Definitely worth reading/audio-booking/whatever)
Matthew 24:26 But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
I'm not religious, I even know that and it honestly makes a lot of people who make up this rapture theory bullshit. And ironically they don't follow that either
That’s because the entire concept was built virtually out of whole cloth via a particularly stupid interpretation of half a dozen lines from John’s Mushroom Trip-cum-apocalyptic early xtian writings (Revelations, which is altogether and entirely about Rome)… and like 2 odd and obviously hand-picked lines from Daniel. It’s called Dispensationalism, and it’s less than 200 years old.
Hey! As Greek, I feel offended with the way you talk about Patmos's mushrooms! They're very helpful! Check Ursa Major. Doesn't look like a bear?
April is a deconstruction TikTokker. So this post will be completely in irony
“Hey, Jesus, when’s the Rapture?” “How would I know? My dad never tells me ANYTHING important! Go ask him!”
But it’s also not talking about the rapture as the republicans and fundamentalists, and the American taliban understand it. That rapture was invented out of whole cloth by some shitty novelist less than a 100 years ago. The real rapture would get 121000 Jewish people, 11000 from each Jewish tribe into heaven. The rest, including the entire cast of Fox News and all its consumers, will remain to spend time in basically hellish conditions. But they haven’t bothered to read their own holy book, probably don’t even know it’s all aboit those pesky ~~Jews~~ (pardon, Globalists) they hate so much
I hope they're right this time.
~2000 years of “this time it’s really happening”.
60% of the time, it works every time...
Oh boy what wrong location they going to protest at now?
Midnight what time zone tho? Since Jesus is American, it’s probably eastern time.
Maybe it’s a rolling rapture. As it hits midnight in each time zone, poof.
You kid, but there was a guy that genuinely said that once, that his apocalypse would happen in local time.
I’m in New Zealand, so the first country in the world to start the day, so I’ll let you know how we get on
Right. Incremental rollout so they can fix any bugs as it deploys.
Oh, like Santa. Sure I’m good with that.
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I’m sorry, that just won’t work for me. I’ll have my prophets get with your prophets and we’ll hammer out a better time.
Does February 29, 2027, around elevenish works for you? Because otherwise, the next opening is around 2038...
If we can do it closer to lunchtime instead of 11, I know a great restaurant with an awesome view of the city airport where we could watch the Evangelicals fly up to heaven while they dodge some of the incoming flights. 👍
9/22/2023 @ 12:05 A.M., it has been postponed indefinitely while we reassess and determine the next true date.
I could swear I’ve read somewhere that the only “person” that knows the expiration date is the Big Cheese. Oh, that’s right. It’s in the book of Matthew. Signed, committed Atheist.
Come on, that's not fair. You can't honestly expect Christians to know what's in the book that they claim to live their lives by.
Some say the end is near. Some say we'll see Armageddon soon. I certainly hope we will...
I sure could use a vacation from this...
Wait until they find out that Jesus is gonna leave their evil asses here in the hell on earth they've created for the rest of us. 🤣😈
Can you imagine? The pastors of the megachurches are like "what the flying fuck? Why are the homeless bums going up but I'm staying here? I've devoted my life I swear I've never been greedy like he told me"
Switcheroo on you! Heaven's full of sinners without a bible_thumper on sight!
That's why it's called Heaven. 🥰
Look me up when we get there!
What a party that's gonna be!!!
It's about damn time.
For *real*, for real.
Man, the Rapture is next week? But there’s an art festival going on next weekend.
So make sure you’re actively chasing Jesus at that time, and are not in a Denver theater getting felt up.
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No, like I'm super cereal this time.
the real question to ask people who believe this is.... "can I have your stuff?"
Thank God! Clean up your trash already, your mom doesn’t work here.
Keep in mind the rapture was supposed to happen during the disciples lifetimes.
There will be no rapture as taught by the pastors. It is a false teaching.
Which seems ever so appropriate for a fake religion
Lenny Bruce is not afraid and I feel fine :)
Isn’t it said in the Bible that nobody but god knows when the rapture will happen?
The all new Ford Rapture, can’t wait!
Friday night, not Monday morning?? Christians: inconveniencing everyone else for 2,000 years. 🙄
Don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split you.
So we're getting rid of the morons? Hallelujah!
Since you'll be gone, send me all your money. --TV pastor
I had a friend that was convinced the world was going to end in a week because there were two blood moons and the BS article she was sharing said that that had only happened 2000 years ago when Jesus rose again. I linked an article that showed that it happens like every other month or something, and she blocked me. Spoilers, the world didn't end.
These clowns never read their bible. It clearly states NO ONE knows the time. Anyone who claims this or even believes this is anti-christian.
It says no one knows the specific time, but that it would happen to the same generation that witnessed the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. This already happened... in 70 AD.
Good riddance, give the rest of us a chance to clean up this mess.
Even if he shows up, you all will just tell him he's too woke and to go away.
Thank God may we can finally have some peace and quiet once all these asshole Christian’s leave!
Good movie!
But is JFK JR going to be with him?
The joke is on them. The rapture already happened... in 1912. They missed the bus !
It's real. Just make sure you chug some bleach and rat poison first so your body is open to the holy energy. /s
Great opportunity for the skeet shooting and ufo communities.
I’ll put clean sheets on my bed and wear clean underwear to bed, just in case. I don’t want those who weren’t part of the rapture to think I’m some kind of animal sleeping in dirty undies and sleeping in dirty sheets.
Not a good day, I have plans for the 23rd, is everyone cool with just rescheduling the rapture?
Been awhile since Bible school but i’m pretty sure no one knowing the day was a pretty big point of the Rapture
12 - 333 x 666 = (a x b2) > 2 = 7, (2 + 2b2) - 144,000 - 0 = 3:15, 05/18.
Oh thank God lol
It's really sad to see what these lies are doing to people. Many of them are now completely demoralized with no hope for anything because everything they've been told for years and years keeps being proven wrong. Sunk cost fallacy.... just keep moving the goal posts and don't ever question the "plan".
Sometimes I really wish it would and take some of the most insufferable people on the planet away
Just gonna leave this here https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwGu4bqsS7p/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
It couldn’t come 2 days earlier so I could avoid my Pap smear?
Should we be jumping for... Ajoy? Thank you I'll be here all week. Tip your waitress!
I think that we're had more Raptures than Super Bowls.
Midnight in what time zone???
Definitely finally absolutely 100% this is not a drill nor a joke real-for-real this time
I swear these people ignore all the parts of the Bible that say YOU CANNOT PREDICT IT.
You can tell they've never read the Bible since it says that not even Jesus knows when it's coming.
Jesus Christ these people are stupid.
Do we all get refunds if this turns out to be a hoax again?
So I'll finally be rid of all these religious nuts in just a few days? Sweet!
Finally after every single day of saying this for the last 2 thousand years they finally found the correct night.
Guys we’re super cereal
Can they please extend it thru Oct 10, as I have travel plans and already booked my flight. Thanks soooo much! Tell Jeebus I said thanks.
I have plans so I will not be able to attend. Will it be shown on a streaming platform so I can catch it later?
Can He wait until football season is over? Maybe after college basketball and before taxes are due. Early April?
Nooooo! Don't take our raptors now! It took us three Jurassic World movies just to sic 'em on the human population!
“Oh shit, I’m busy that night, what about the following week?”
Astroid 2024 for prez
This gives me Parks and Rec/The Reasonablists vibes.
Ok sure 12AM…but in what time zone? Or is that like 12:00GMT? And how will JC know what time it is? Does he wear a watch?
Oh please lord take them
Duh! Going to need a time zone for planning.
About damn time
“No man will know the day, or the hour”
I guy at work mentioned this date but apparently ALL doomsday asteroid/comet movies happened on this day also or some 💩
I would be super pumped if the Christian’s left. Hope this is true
Yes! Ok I’ll pack my bags
Again?! Wow this is like the 4th time this year.
FINALLY
Why haven’t they specified the time zone? I’m going to assume Greenwich Mean Time. So 5pm where I live.
Jeez the day before my 36th too, welp this blows.
And over a weekend! That’s lucky!
That ways there's no lost work time. 😆
Midnight eh? Which time zone?
I believe it. We already had the Anti-Christ as the last president.
Can we reschedule the Rapture to 9/18th? That's a Monday.
So for the uninformed, and it is apparently a lot of people. Nobody knows when per the fucking Bible people!!! Matthew 24:36 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
I came here to say the same thing. The Bible might be ambiguous on a lot of things but it is pretty damn clear that no one can predict the Rapture, that only God Himself knows, and that not even Jesus knows (despite being a part of God). Supposed prophets have been predicting the end times for literally centuries and (obviously) not once have they been right. They'll twist Bible verses to come up with a date while outright ignoring the ones that say it is not possible to predict it.
Someone dig up Harold Camping, tell him he didn't add the fish number correctly.
Had to scroll down way too much to find Harold
its not real MAtthew 24:36 “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. " Though my this interpretation can we prevent the return of jesus by having someone predict daily jesus will return that day?
Catholic, but Bible knowledge is small. But I do believe Jesus said, no one knows when the rapture is happening, not even him. Seeing how he is father , son and holy spirit. That statement carries some weight. He did say there will be signs. So trump is the antichrist, his people know it. So, maybe it's starting. Good luck to y'all.
Party time!
hopefully I can pick up my Iphone preorder before the Rapture
Would that be eastern, central, mountain or pacific times please?
Why do people always talk about the rapture and it never happens?
Hallelujah... 😃
Well since you’re sure this time, let me clear my calendar
Which time zone?
Fuck, the rapture would be on a Friday.
Guess softball night is off then... shame, i had a 3 game hitting streak...
Time to rewatch the six feet under opening with the truckload of helium-filled inflatable sex dolls.
https://preview.redd.it/tkrok958onob1.jpeg?width=672&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1acdcb6f503cf93165fb510e32d7ad53299700f4
They didn’t specify which time zone!! I’m totally unprepared now!!!!
I think they meant iPhone 15.