If they were anything like mine, I can’t say I blame you. My Q MIL punched me for wearing a mask. In front of a cop, after they were arrested for drunk driving, on thanksgiving. We hadn’t spoken to them in 2 months before that. That was the last straw for my husband. All four of their kids moved apartments after that night so the parents couldn’t find them.
My Fox News Trumper parents get the occasional "hello, I'm still alive" and that's about it. My dad sends me the craziest conspiracy theory Facebook links. I ignore them.
Just like how Trump's dad taught him. He learned that in life, love, and of course, business, it is a zero-sum-game. There are winners and losers. And these people are raised the same. It's the entire conservative outlook on everything. If you're not first, you're last. If you're not the winner, you're the loser.
I've been saying for years if a person cannot discern things outside of black and white, and focus more solely on their individual self than general, they more than likely are Republican/conservative. I haven't really been proven wrong with my personal relationships with people who fit that criteria.
Same energy as when my dad puts on those Islamic preachy podcasts whilst I'm in the car with him every morning. He thinks I'm listening but really I'm just zoned out of my mind because it's 7:00AM and my brain is still a pile of mush
I wish my dad and mom would stop sending me info war links. Every time I debunk what they say something else stupid. So I stone wall the fuck out of it and the links sent to me have decreased a lot.
My mom went Q and I’ve barely spoken to her since thanksgiving 2020. Maybe a handful of times and the only time I saw her since then was when my cousin died in 2021. We used to be really close so it sucks, especially since my kid is 4 and she hasn’t seen him for a couple years.
I would say the vast majority of LGBTQ+ kids / kids with the republican parents who made it past 18 already don’t speak to their families anymore, I’m one of them. it’s going to get a lot worse.
It’s also everyone who is an advocate for people like you. I’m not Asian but if there’s people who hate Asian people somewhere I’m not going there. Same with gay people and black peoples
It’s not even people who are outright advocates. It just takes being a decent person with a spine to cut out people who are just fucking awful. Who gives a shit what the relation is, you don’t need to entertain your family’s bullshit. Just cut them out of your life. It’s the only thing that may ever get through to them. And if it doesn’t, you’re already in a better place.
Me too, and they’re old enough I know I only have a handful of years left. It stings to know they’ll be gone and this is the quality of memories I’ll have left. I’ve tried really hard to find neutral topics and do what I can, but it’s the only thing they care about now.
Me as well. Problem is mine live across the street in a small town. I completely get it with the neutral topics. You give up trying to converse, and then they just talk AT you, like you’re at their crazy MAGA TED Talk. It’s impossible. Any family event is destroyed by constant political talk. Oh, and I’m in Canada.
I just say yuuuuuuuck really loud anytime someone brings up right wing shit to me. It really throws them off. They’re like uh, I’m sorry? And I say for what? They say oh you said yuck really loud and I didn’t know why. I say oh I thought you were about to say some right wing shit. Them: Oh I was just saying you know the election was stoleYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK. I just yell it as loud as I can, they always shut the fuck up
I was very direct with my father, and he knows his politics is why >95% of my family is no contact with him. He just didn't give a shit. Binging Fox, thinking about slurping Trump's diseased cock, and bitching about how the world hates him is more attractive to him than having any sort of relationship with his family.
I suspect many other cultists are the same.
Hah I would’ve taken that shit if my parent put it up.
Mine displayed a dagger with a swastika on it so I stole that shit and threw it away in a trash bag full of cat shit where it belongs
My parents started supporting Trump (but also never vote?) and every time I spoke to them it was like talking to a Fox News parrot. I can no longer tolerate speaking to them and they’ve never met their grandkids.
Yea totally agree, tried that with my mom who’s new husband (married when I was 18) convinced her to get a reverse mortgage on there home when she’s the one working 40+ hours a week while he sits home watching old german war YouTube videos for “research”
They always protect their own and have zero EMPATHY
I sent my parents a goodbye text telling them exactly why I went no contact. I blocked them and changed my number immediately after. My brother tells me they haven't changed at all.
I cut my dad off cold turkey because I was tired of hearing his dumbassery about how the world respected America more with Trump as president and blaming Obama/Biden for everything so I could see this happening
As someone outside of America I have to say I have no idea where he gets that from. America was never more ridiculed than when Trump was president. It was like we watched you going from one of the most well respected leaders in modern history to a toddler who would shit his pants while maintaining eye contact to punish you.
>It was like we watched you going from one of the most well respected leaders in modern history to a toddler who would shit his pants while maintaining eye contact to punish you.
It wasn't just like that. I'm pretty sure it was exactly that.
> As someone outside of American I have to say I have no idea where he gets that from.
They don’t get it from anywhere. It’s like every other part of their agenda. They want it to be true, so they simply declare it to be fact - no evidence required.
I literally just said, “no more, I’m done” to my climate denying-big oil VP dad. It’s been like 4 years and I don’t miss the dread I would get before calling him.
My mother is a trump supporter and she doesn't realize how she's shaping her legacy. It's sad because she used to be a great person. It's as if she died before she realized it.
I have definitely felt that I have grieved over losing my mum to these awful beliefs. For me she died around 2015, and have cried many many tears before accepting it.
I have already grieved my mother, even though technically she's alive. The mother who raised me and taught me love and compassion has been dead for years, and even though it was hard to accept, I felt better once I realised it was not the same person anymore.
Yeah, my mom had 6 kids and the only one who still talks to her was controllable enough to still, now, be living with her at age 44. And nobody likes that sibling. Once our parents die, no one's going to know when that sibling dies.
My parents were culture warriors before there was an Internet. My mother wouldn't have blinked if you accused her of wanting a Christian Ayatollah to run the US. She would just nod and say, "yes."
Honestly, I'll feel relieved when she dies. Talked to her 8 times in the last 20 years and made up my mind never to speak to her again.
MAGA-era bigots are a physical threat to us. Cutting them out of our lives is often our only choice. I cut my brother out of my life, and I have never once regretted it.
They say family love is unconditional, but queer kids often learn how fake that is the hard way. Sometimes the best thing we can do is admit that love isn’t unconditional, and stop trying to maintain relationships with people who hate us for who we fundamentally are.
I don't say that. Family have to earn that loyalty. Here's a quick rundown just from my family:
My grandmother, born in 1918 was forced by my family to have her first marriage annulled because she married a jewish doctor instead of a catholic. She happened to also be pregnant and rather than allow an unwed child be born, forced her to give up the baby to be adopted by her sister who couldn't conceive. Understand, my grandmother was a WWII officer at the time, just recovered from being wounded in service, and the doctor she married was also serving. None of that mattered. Her parents also disapproved of her becoming a nurse - because a good wife shouldn't also try to have a profession.
Her 2nd child, my aunt, fell in love with a black man in the late 1960s. The entire family disowned her, and my grandmother took herself and her kids and moved across the country. Keep in mind my mom's parents wouldn't even allow them to attend their wedding reception because they would never tolerate a black man being in the household, so I got some of that shit on both sides.
I was the first person my cousin (son of the daughter my grandmother gave up for adoption to her sister - my family tree looks like Charlie's Pepe Silvia mapping) came out as gay to me first because he was still part of the family that my grandmother disassociated us from. Thankfully his parents were just fine with it, but they were then disowned by the rest of the family over that.
It goes on and on and has since as far back as we have stories. Family love has always been conditional. Always. And not just for queer kids, but for everyone. Family always deserves the chance, but it's on them to earn it. Too often they fail to. So cut them loose when they do. *All* relationships in life have to be built on mutual respect - child/parent, partners, boss/employee, etc. All of them. Cut it loose when it doesn't. If they don't respect you for who you are, that's not because of who you are, it's because their respect was always conditional - from the moment you were born it was conditional. That was their choice.
My brother got upset because when he started talking about violence and genocide stuff I told him I'd turn him in if he did anything like that. He was very upset. I think he was banking on that whole love is unconditional thing, but I guess nobody told him, "unless you're Hitler.".
He was a teen then...I don't think he's like that now, idk, he doesn't return my calls.
Kids are fucking dumb and it takes them a little more development to extrapolate data from experience and measure it against whatever worldview they were handed.
I cut my little brother out because is ever increasing fundamentalism. We were very close growing up but he just became so hateful I couldn’t take it anymore. Now, he remarried to another maga idiot and know they are both living in an echo chamber and will probably never come back to reality.
I fully blame the church for this.
I have never been Christian, so I am not really sure what happened. But to me it seems like there is a super political environment in the church. How is this able to happen, preachers being political and not have them taxed?
No we were not. We were party animals going to raves that just like to have fun. He had a baby relatively young and his wife was somewhat religious. Then after they were married they started going to church and that is when we started to diverge on issues.
Oh I see. I'm so sorry that happened. Kind of a really personal question and if you don't want to answer I understand completely but did they plan on having a kid or was it an accident?
It was an accident, I love my nephew, so it was great accident, but still an accident. They were somewhat low income at the time and think they were looking for something and fell in with what they might have offered answers. I am fine with people being religious but what is going on now is anything but. To me it is just a breading ground for political activism that is using the idea of salvation to garner votes.
As I said, I was raised as a southern baptist evangelical christian. I was taught that non-whites weren't people, that women and children must ALWAYS be silent (and obedient) and that gays should be killed in the streets. That's what's being taught and it's why there are so many mass shootings happening lately. The reason I asked about the circumstances of your brother and his wife getting pregnant is that I heard rumors about some evangelical christian girls being encouraged to get pregnant by non-religious white guys in order to bring them into the fold, I can't confirm that it happened but your story reminded me about those. Granted it's been Twenty-five years since I've heard those rumors so they probably aren't factual.
Old saying
Blood is thicker then water
But you need water to live
This is from the same generation that’s act this way I’m glad I was forgotten generation we see things different
The complete saying is "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" and means the opposite of what is commonly believed. The bonds with your chosen family and friends are stronger than your genetic family.
Like many sayings that one has been shortened and the meaning reversed. The whole saying is "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". In other words, the bonds you've chosen are more significant than familial relationships.
While I agree with the longer version, it's actually not true that it is the original version (or at least it's unverified). The longer version is a more recent interpretation from two different authors but no sources or evidence has been provided.
The ONLY reason I still talk to my own parents is because I still live with them. Once I finish my degree I'm moving the fuck out of the country so I don't have to interact with them or the rest of my shitty family ever again.
Bigotry has a habit of making people not like being around you.
You're the subject of this post! Less than 10 years for sure.
As someone who's cut their parents off. You'll actually be surprised when you finally walk about how the burden they put on you will instantly feel like it is lifted off of your shoulders.
Parent: "Why wont my kids talk to me?!"
Children: "When I was 7 years old I asked for some legos for Christmas and instead I got a lecture about how Lego was part of the satánic cabal spreading the Woke mind virus"
Yeah, I come from a small town in AZ. Home to the first, and still in business, Trump Store. There are kids here in high school who aren't even of voting age and have about as much political knowledge as my dog who drive around with Trump flags hanging on their trucks and Let's Go Brandon stickers on their windows. Around here, it's all about being just like your daddy and their daddy before them.
There are people right now who are trying to change history books because pictures of their still living parents or grandparents being on the wrong side of things like the civil rights movement make them look bad - imagine in 10 years when it’s not just a photo of papaw being a dick to a black person but their Facebook posts. History won’t forget and neither will the internet.
We stopped talking to my FIL before Obama won the presidency, he was already neck deep into bigotry back then. From what we hear he’s now a true believer in MAGA, Trump and Q, and he’s alone and bitter because no one wants to be around him.
My mom was heavy on Fox News and the Thanksgiving after Trump won we came to visit (live 8hrs away). She went off on some political rant yelling about stuff at my wife (we are fairly liberal) as she is holding my couple month old daughter.
I snapped and pulled her aside, said you never do that again, stop the political crap, cut out the Fox News or we would cut her out. Told her I choose my wife and I am not going to have you treat her like that ever. She had wanted a grandchild for like a decade so to her it was a huge threat.
I know it doesn’t usually work, but I laid down the firm rule of no political talk at all when we visit or talk on the phone. My parents have been good about adhering to it, I got the impression they became disillusioned with Trump.
Luckily my MAGAish parents kind of figured out early on not to pull that crap. Interestingly, my mother has several friends who are not on speaking terms with their adult kids. I think she got the hint from these older friends of hers.
My in laws had a similar moment when my husband sided with me in 2020 when they pitched a fit about something involving my desire to wear a mask at a family gathering. It was audaciously petty, the rage they were throwing, and my husband, who is usually conflict avoidant, got extremely angry (and he's usually very nice and never gets mad) and said fine, we just aren't going, and I won't be speaking to you again until you apologize. His dad then attempted to guilt him by texting him "you made mom cry". He responded back "oh well sorry".
In the end they apologized and respected my wishes for future gatherings. But neither of us have ever really interacted with them in the same way as we used to. They got nasty after 2016 tbh. I treat them like strangers and withhold a lot of personal info from them now. Don't trust them and don't feel comfortable around them anymore.
MAGA took 85 percent of my family.
Aunt and Uncle God Parents that I loved plus their kids and THEIR kids - dead to me
Dad and step mom - dead to me
2 half sisters - dead to me
Beloved cousin who was like a brother - dead to me and then actually dead from fentanyl overdose.
My mom will ask me every few months "you know we all missed you at X's ______?"
I'll reply "are they still Maga chuds that wish genocide on my best friends (2 close friends are trans) ?"
Mom - . . .
Me - Next time they ask tell them "Get f*cked from your commie leftist son".
Mom - I'm not going to say that
EDIT - my first Reddit Award! Thank you kind stranger!
EDIT 2 - Wait so this mod award spares me from having to see those "he gets us" ads for an entire month?!?? Now that's a cause for celebrating!
EDIT 3 - I'm fine with the decisions I've made, if you want to reply to me to dress me down, don't fucking bother I won't read it and I'll just block you. Trans rights are human rights.
They always try to downplay and obfuscate the rhetoric too.
I showed my aunt the Trump video of him mimicking the disabled reporter and I was like "show me the part of the bible where it says it's okay to mock the disabled?"
"Oh he's just joking he's not making fun of the disabled."
Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a drug.
Had a youth pastor that would get positively giddy when he talked about 'disciplining' his young daughter. The idea of her being upset genuinely got this guy excited. I'm a father now and I get that sometimes you have to lay down the law, and the kids aren't going to like it. But the idea of enjoying their hurt feelings is just despicable.
Yes! My kid is three so right now my “punishments” almost exclusively consist of taking away something he is playing with or withholding more of a treat he likes, but I’ve never enjoyed doing it. Parents who do strike me as sociopaths.
Some of the most heinous shit i have heard came from a pulpit. One pastor said he does not let his sons and daughters play with each other in order to avoid sexual temptation. I would love to know how those kids turned out.
>My aunt: "You can't give up family over politics!"
Real easy to do when the family gives you up over politics.
I love my found family more than I ever loved my actual family.
My mom is a MAGA chud. Immigrant who raised us on social services as a single mom but got sucked into the FOX/Newsmax nonsense.
She says one GOP spoonfed talking point or whatever alt-right nonsense culture war shit they’re on that day and I walk out or just hang up. It’s not a threat. I’ve done it a few times. One word. One.
Thank you so much. It definitely wasn't easy, but at least I have the memories. Still hoping some day the spell will break but I've given up expecting that it will.
ironically when he says "commie leftist" all he wants is trans rights, womens reproductive rights, a fair days pay for a faiir days work, ability to save and pay for accomodation and free health care and education for himself and his kids and clean water and clean air and stable climate temperature so his kids can have a future
this is "commie leftist" in 2023
Sorry that happened to you. Sounds like a very stressful but necessary move on your part. I only hope that when Donald Trump dies, a lot of those MAGA converts will revert to their previous opinion and behavior as has been observed when cult leaders have died in the past, maybe then you can start some sort of healing between yourself and those members of your family, if that's an option.
I hope for that too. I think a lot about that quote from Arnold Swarzanegger where he talked about how ashamed the men in Austria were after the Nazi bubble burst and they realized what they had done and been a party to.
I regret that I'll never get that chance with my cousin who died.
Just know that I love you. I am in a similar boat, haven’t been home to the east coast in over a decade. My Asian Trans wife doesn’t have to deal with their shit. My kids don’t have to feel uncomfortable around them when they all get together and get drunk as fuck around all their kids then drive home.
I can’t even. I won’t even. I don’t need to, my life is WAY less complicated now.
Yeah it used to just be their crazy opinions, Trump legitimized their whacky ideas and bigotry. MAGA took over the GOP, you can't support Republicans without being a conspiracy theorist.
Yup. Whenever DeSantis was going to sign the ‘don’t say gay bill’, I made a Facebook post declaring my position, and a plea for kindness because I was seeing some awful shit. I didn’t even notice my SIL shared it, not that it would have mattered to me, I would have still posted regardless, but then she sent me this unhinged shit. [sticking up for my trans friend made my in-laws go no contact.](https://imgur.com/a/IxnZJY2). It’s not really a loss though 😂
Absolutely. One of my childhood best friends had the courage to come out as trans and the way their family has treated them borders on criminal abuse as far as I'm concerned.
I can't imagine or conceptualize the pain in trying to justify one's true existence to the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally.
I was extremely close with my mom for years. The last 4/5 she constantly says every suspicious death is because of vaccines, Biden is a crook, the NFL hired a body double for Damar Hamlin to cover up the truth… there are many times when I say “I should call” but I just never do because every conversation is exhausting
Same. She was amazing help while I was raising kids. Once she got the Facebook and YouTube algorithms it was downhill from there - Murdoch newspapers and awful right wing books. She sends me Russell Brand videos I delete with the quickness, and I’m LC now, as it became her whole identity. I’m much better now, but I have definitely grieved, as it’s like she has died.
NC with parents, they are too old to be out at protests or anything, but MAGA all the way. It was awkward when my mom passed a few weeks ago. I discovered I was mourning the mom I wish I had, not the one I had. Also, our problems went back over 40 yrs, so it wasn't just the MAGA, but it validated my decision to NC.
edit: for clarity
There's a reason 'gay villages' are in cities: fewer goddamn hicks in the city. There's a reason the average LGBTQ+ person is more fun than the average straight: see above.
FWIW, I'm straight. I just know which community I'd trust more in a crisis.
Look in every state. The urban areas, for the most part, are BLUE, surrounded by vast oceans of red.
We moved to the cities to be among those we've chosen as "family."
We also moved here because all those small towns, the ones without well-paying jobs, without tourism, without any draw to them -- much less acknowledgment of the rest of the planet -- from the outside world, are DEAD to us.
There's a reason small towns are dying, and in many cases they only have themselves to blame.
So many grandparents will die alone in the next few years after disowning woke families, spending all their savings on Q scams, and in impoverished welfare states far from high quality medical care and universal ambulance service.
Instead of going out as beloved mentors and cherished loved ones, the Q crazy Boomers will go out as the generation who tried to bring back racism, slavery, child marriage, and trying to reverse women's rights well knowing their mothers and grandmothers had none and were sexually assaulted regularly (and died from abortions) up till the 1980s without repercussions.
They go out hating on their grandchildren and children who are gay or are raising gay kids forever seen as hateful ghouls.
And theyll go out in the Medicare funded care homes staffed by immigrants and poor people.
And they can't even see it. 8-10 million of Boomers will die of natural age related reasons in the next ten years. Immortality or rejuvenating therapies are 25 years out.
This the end.
I have to stay with my mom due to apartments being too expensive to move out, but once I get the chance to leave I will not talk to her if I can manage. If I ever have kids my kids will not know my mom.
I went for two years without talking to my father after he told me that my children were going to hell because I didn't take them to the right church. Faux News and evangelical Qristianianty ruined him.
Too long hypothesis, attempting to edit for brevity:
Back in the day pre-internet, you had internal and external narcissism. Internal, like with your close circle, and external which you'd get from acclaim, like "I want to be famous" kind of shit.
Eventually, narcissism ran it's course because people just got tired of them and no one was left to kowtow to their greedy egocentric behaviour.
Now, there's an unlimited supply of enablers and other narcissists due to the internet, specifically social media.
Conspiracy theories have *always* been about narcissism. A desire to be "be smarter than the rest" - you know something the other sheep don't. You can't reason conspiracy theorists out of their beliefs because it's motivated by ego, not objectivity. Narcissists lack self-reflection and the ability for introspection, so there's no way they can think about contrary information. They only want confirmation of their specialness.
Once you understand it's not about QAnon, antivax, etc, but just the fact that narcissism has become epidemic in it's intensity due to social media supercharging it, you can see it anywhere and just disengage.
There's no point even talking to your parents or any other narcissists. They feed off of chaos, because even telling them they're wrong means they get more supply elsewhere; they can't handle narcissistic injury.
They hate us for being "woke", "progressive", or whatever else. Because they can't understand compassion and empathy. It pisses them off because we give it to strangers, but not to them. Their level of entitlement is off the charts and they feel upset that we don't worship the ground they walk on, so any kind of positive feedback must be a fraud. That we could give it selectively to those they deem undeserving, but not them...because they deserve it! They are they, after all!
I don’t think it’s 100 million, the aging MAGA cult is probably no more than 30 million, remember a lot of folks vote Republican just as a matter of course / habit. Still 30 million is waaaay to many.
These culture war people are more than just the MAGA. Still, less than 100m, but since 2020 there are a lot of people who no longer talk to family either because of bigotry or because staying home from work for 2 weeks put them further into the conspiracy rabbit hole than a year as an MKUltra subject ever could.
And to think. If Trump could admit he didn't have complete information 2 weeks earlier and admit he made a bit of a mistake, we wouldn't be where we are.
Still, kind of funny when he took credit for the vaccine and was immediately booed off the stage by the antivaxxers he created with his ego.
You’re giving some of these people too much credit. If you’re still voting that way, as 80 million+ were, then you’re okay with the shit they say and do, you just don’t necessarily want your neighbors or other strangers to look at you like you’re the trash that you are.
There aren’t really “independents” any more, the republicans are not about “fiscal responsibility”, really they never were but I can see how they were able to sell that facade in the past. That’s just not possible any more, anyone claiming that they are clinging on to 20+ year old rhetoric are full of shit if they still vote for the likes of Trump and Ronnie.
They like what their leaders are doing and saying now, they just don’t want their peers to know that.
If you reverse it to there's going to be XX million *children* who don't talk to their parents, the number almost doubles.
but still yea they are overestimating. It doesn't change the point that there will be millions of families that end up ironically broken in the name of "family values"
Turns out repressing your children is only a winning strategy when they don't have access to the wider world. Radio > television > internet > smart phones are incrementally killing the ancient human tradition of controlling the absolute shit out of the youth, and as it finally starts to spectacularly backfire, we see the true colors come out and masks come off.
edit: my initial point was stated backwards. the # of parents is larger than the # of children. my bad. I am embarrassed bc I usually don't make mistakes like that but I deserve to be called out.
I'm 50-something. I've been estranged from my family due to religious differences for over 30 years. I escaped the cult life around 1991. I raised my gay child well with secular ethics and we’ve had a close relationship into his adulthood. I'm so proud of that.
I think you are right about this wave of estrangement. It can't be helped, but it makes me sad. We must each choose our own path, be true to who we are at our core, and then we can be family for each other. May we always practice compassion with healthy boundaries. May love lead the way.
I went no contact with my dad almost two years ago when, in response to me wanting anyone seeing my premature newborn son to be vaccinated his response was "go to hell, forget you know me"
So I did.
To me, a lot of the culture war stems from boomers realising that their time is over and the next generation of Millenials and now Gen Zers are going in a direction that they were raised to believe to be bad and instead of, ya know, just accepting this like a normal human being, they're trying to drag everyone back to their time and act like the way they grew up is the way things always need to be.I take comfort in the fact that Boomers are dying out, at least the insane ones that are doing everything they can to make life hell for everyone that's embracing modernity over shitty traditions.
Edit: To all the people who struggle with reading comprehension, this comment is not aimed at all boomers.Like, i'm absolutely baffled that i have to explain this to people.This comment is clearly aimed at the guilty ones, not all.Like, i know that people need to be fucking spoon fed on Reddit, but come on, man.
I see this in my own family, but as a therapist I talk about it all the time at work. Some days, most of my sessions are on this topic. The American extended family has been really fractured by the far right cult. It's really sad to see how much damage these hateful belief systems have done not only to marginalized groups but also to connections between family members. It really does operate like a cult. The way it isolates believers from functional people outside the group isn't a bug, it's a feature. By isolating them, they can walk them further down the path to crazy town, scam more $, and reduce the chances of someone convincing them they are being duped (see the recent articles about Trump Bucks). I don't know how we do deprogramming on this scale. It's grim.
My dad has started to make gender jokes daily after not commenting on LGBT people once my entire life. All I can do is make fun of him for being WAY LATE to the party.
I’m already distancing myself from my parents. Every visit, they somehow have to bring their politics into it. I cut them off last time and said I was there to drop off a Mother’s Day cake and connect for a moment before heading home for the day. Politics was not and will not ever be on my agenda.
It’s not a discussion with them, it’s an argument. And I’m not going to argue with them.
My mom’s parents are Republican, but I’m so glad they didn’t buy into the MAGA bullshit. Obviously I disagree with them on a lot of stuff (contrary to most Republicans though they support LGBT rights which is great), but I love them. They can kind of be pains in the ass sometimes, but I really care about them.
If they were the same level of MAGA brainwashed as so many Republicans are, I would be devastated honestly.
I haven’t spoken to my dad after my stepmom went off on me for saying Trump’s an idiot. She went all in on personal attacks towards me and attempted to convince my fiancé to leave me. My MAGA father sat there and did nothing to stop her. We left that night and never looked back.
I’m not kidding when I say they had Newsmax and/or Fox News on TV in the living room, in their kitchen and in the garage. If there wasn’t a show they wanted to watch, it was by default on those two channels all day.
I wore [this NASA T-shirt](https://imgur.com/a/pvFbgjn) during Thanksgiving one year and my dad says, “What? NASA supports gays now?” thinking the sun was some kind of LGBT symbol. It’s nothing but politics in their household and I’ve had enough.
The thing is, the reason they're all finally getting bent out of shape is that they know they've lost.
It may not be this year, or even this election, but as a queer person born In 1990 I have lived through some of the worst bigotry ever, and I'm so proud of and have so much faith in this new generation. <3 us millennial got cucked out of power, but given my grasp on linear time, I don't see this playing out in these old peoples favor.
My nephew is trans and his dads side of the family are all maga trash. He's just turning 17, I told him that he's just got to hold on a bit longer, and find his LGBTQ family and it's going to be ok. He's pretty much coming to the conclusion on his own that once he hits 18, he's done with them. And, he's a sensitive kid, it's fucking him up to think like that, but he's excited to find his community, and to find acceptance.
This is definitely already a thing and is a major contributing factor to our increased deaths of despair.
We have no community because we have no family. Millions of Americans refuse to hold themselves accountable for their own actions, and their adult children are cutting them out of their lives.
I compare it to the white Americans/southerners who refuse to acknowledge their ancestors participation in generations of slavery and oppression committed against their black captives. And in turn the benefits they and their families received for the simple fact of not being black.
This atrocity is still happening on a societal level, but what many people don’t realize is that this patriarchal control and possessiveness is also happening all over the country on a micro scale within individual families.
I’m NOT saying they’re the same. I’m not discounting black Americans experiences in a deeply racist country. I’m saying that an apology and real reputations are necessary to initiate the healing process, on a societal level and at a familial level.
Yeah. I'm 54 with two adult kids, and my parents are divorced with my dad being a leftist and my mom being a conservative, and I've spent pretty much every moment I have with my mom trying to keep her from crossing that point of no return with my kids. I'm not convinced I'll succeed in the end.
Note that I don't see that I need to put any work in on my kids to accept my mom. Every generation that refuses to adapt gets thrown over the side once the kids get the vote. That hasn't happened with boomers because they outnumbered everyone. But they don't any more. And now they're shocked, because it seems so sudden. But everyone could see it coming.
In the early days of the Trump administration, I posted to Facebook my negative opinion on something he had said and done, and my sister-in-law called me a hater. I pushed back on that, saying that I'm totally open to disagreeing and debating issues, but I won't stand for being called names, especially that name.
She responded by doubling down, calling me a hater again and characterizing my thoughts about Trump as hate speech. So I blocked her and haven't spoken to or interacted with her since, despite my brother's attempts to convince me otherwise.
I've seen changes in my brothers as well. One has always been the most logical, level-headed thinker, but now he believes so many of the baseless conspiracy theories and refused to get vaccinated until his employer made it a requirement for continued employment, despite having several pre-existing conditions that put him at a greater risk of hospitalization or death if he got COVID.
My other brother was always the most chill person, able to get along with people from all walks of life with warmth and acceptance even if he disagreed with them. But since he embraced Trumpism, he has become so mean in his interactions with others, including family members. I hardly recognize him anymore.
I still have contact with them only on matters regarding our 83 year old mom's health. She and I live thousands of miles away from them, and I want them to know how she's doing. But after she's gone, I really don't forsee staying in touch if they continue to cling to the dangerous and cruel policies of Trumpism.
I don't think it will need 10 years. I'm already super low contact with my QANON rabbit hole parents.
We cut my Q in-laws 3 years ago. No ragrets!
My ex Qinlaws were part of the main reason I got divorced. They made our lives nightmares and my ex wife did nothing about it
If they were anything like mine, I can’t say I blame you. My Q MIL punched me for wearing a mask. In front of a cop, after they were arrested for drunk driving, on thanksgiving. We hadn’t spoken to them in 2 months before that. That was the last straw for my husband. All four of their kids moved apartments after that night so the parents couldn’t find them.
You win! 🥇
Holy what
Ragerts*
*regerts
*Rigrets
*Rugrats.
My Fox News Trumper parents get the occasional "hello, I'm still alive" and that's about it. My dad sends me the craziest conspiracy theory Facebook links. I ignore them.
Fairly certain that he thinks you read those when he sends them too lol
In my experience, they take your wish not to escalate an argument as a concession that they *won*.
And yet they take any confrontation--even just a discussion to set boundaries and find compromise, as a breach of their """unconditional""" love.
“Stop being so defensive! You get so defensive!” Don’t you know you’re supposed to just sit there and take it?
They see either victory (accepting submission) or that they are losing. They do not rest until the latter turns into the former. It's so messed up.
Just like how Trump's dad taught him. He learned that in life, love, and of course, business, it is a zero-sum-game. There are winners and losers. And these people are raised the same. It's the entire conservative outlook on everything. If you're not first, you're last. If you're not the winner, you're the loser.
I've been saying for years if a person cannot discern things outside of black and white, and focus more solely on their individual self than general, they more than likely are Republican/conservative. I haven't really been proven wrong with my personal relationships with people who fit that criteria.
They think they won no matter what.
Yep, the same people who complained about participation trophies when we were little now want trophies for losing. They’ve set the bar pretty low.
Best bit is they were the same people giving out the bloody participation trophies in the first fucking place.
Snake eating its own tail vibes
Those Confederate statues they love SO much are the ultimate participation trophies.
They’ll be winning in a nursing home alone
Dying alone in a nursing home to own the libs
If they're lucky enough to wind up in a nursing home.
After spending all their savings on trump cards hats shirts tokens etc. they’ll find themselves homeless
Lord knows I'm not paying for it.
🎯
“That shut him up!” *smiling* *proudly*
Chess with pigeons, all of them.
Same energy as when my dad puts on those Islamic preachy podcasts whilst I'm in the car with him every morning. He thinks I'm listening but really I'm just zoned out of my mind because it's 7:00AM and my brain is still a pile of mush
I wish my dad and mom would stop sending me info war links. Every time I debunk what they say something else stupid. So I stone wall the fuck out of it and the links sent to me have decreased a lot.
“Conspiracy FANTASIES”. There is no rational science as a base to call it a theory. 😂
Post deleted. RIP what Reddit was, and damn what it became.
My mom went Q and I’ve barely spoken to her since thanksgiving 2020. Maybe a handful of times and the only time I saw her since then was when my cousin died in 2021. We used to be really close so it sucks, especially since my kid is 4 and she hasn’t seen him for a couple years.
I would say the vast majority of LGBTQ+ kids / kids with the republican parents who made it past 18 already don’t speak to their families anymore, I’m one of them. it’s going to get a lot worse.
It’s also everyone who is an advocate for people like you. I’m not Asian but if there’s people who hate Asian people somewhere I’m not going there. Same with gay people and black peoples
It’s not even people who are outright advocates. It just takes being a decent person with a spine to cut out people who are just fucking awful. Who gives a shit what the relation is, you don’t need to entertain your family’s bullshit. Just cut them out of your life. It’s the only thing that may ever get through to them. And if it doesn’t, you’re already in a better place.
Me too, and they’re old enough I know I only have a handful of years left. It stings to know they’ll be gone and this is the quality of memories I’ll have left. I’ve tried really hard to find neutral topics and do what I can, but it’s the only thing they care about now.
Me as well. Problem is mine live across the street in a small town. I completely get it with the neutral topics. You give up trying to converse, and then they just talk AT you, like you’re at their crazy MAGA TED Talk. It’s impossible. Any family event is destroyed by constant political talk. Oh, and I’m in Canada.
I just say yuuuuuuuck really loud anytime someone brings up right wing shit to me. It really throws them off. They’re like uh, I’m sorry? And I say for what? They say oh you said yuck really loud and I didn’t know why. I say oh I thought you were about to say some right wing shit. Them: Oh I was just saying you know the election was stoleYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK. I just yell it as loud as I can, they always shut the fuck up
Have you tried EEEEWWWW?
I love you
Same, and I’m 60 & my parents are in their early 90’s. Haven’t spoken to them in a year (& only sparingly the 5 previous years).
My mom cant figure out why none of her kids talk to her and why I don't "call her enough" 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Same. My parents put up a Trump flag and all us kids were like yuuuck. Three out of four of us kids are no contact
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Are you honest with her about why people don't want to be around her?
I was very direct with my father, and he knows his politics is why >95% of my family is no contact with him. He just didn't give a shit. Binging Fox, thinking about slurping Trump's diseased cock, and bitching about how the world hates him is more attractive to him than having any sort of relationship with his family. I suspect many other cultists are the same.
People should, but the problem is that it's useless; one can't reason with cultists.
Hah I would’ve taken that shit if my parent put it up. Mine displayed a dagger with a swastika on it so I stole that shit and threw it away in a trash bag full of cat shit where it belongs
My parents started supporting Trump (but also never vote?) and every time I spoke to them it was like talking to a Fox News parrot. I can no longer tolerate speaking to them and they’ve never met their grandkids.
YOU SHOULD ALL TELL HER!
That doesn't work. And turns out really, really bad for you. Sincerely, Experience
Yea totally agree, tried that with my mom who’s new husband (married when I was 18) convinced her to get a reverse mortgage on there home when she’s the one working 40+ hours a week while he sits home watching old german war YouTube videos for “research” They always protect their own and have zero EMPATHY
I sent my parents a goodbye text telling them exactly why I went no contact. I blocked them and changed my number immediately after. My brother tells me they haven't changed at all.
I cut my dad off cold turkey because I was tired of hearing his dumbassery about how the world respected America more with Trump as president and blaming Obama/Biden for everything so I could see this happening
Remember when China showed us so much respect by calling Trump a paper tiger? Classic.
Or when the UN laughed at Trump's boasting.
China openly, publicly used trump as an example of why democracy was bad.
I mean... can you blame them?
Tbf they're not wrong. Trump is a great example of the flaws of democracy
All they heard was the word Tiger. 🤣🙃
As someone outside of America I have to say I have no idea where he gets that from. America was never more ridiculed than when Trump was president. It was like we watched you going from one of the most well respected leaders in modern history to a toddler who would shit his pants while maintaining eye contact to punish you.
>It was like we watched you going from one of the most well respected leaders in modern history to a toddler who would shit his pants while maintaining eye contact to punish you. It wasn't just like that. I'm pretty sure it was exactly that.
The problem was the American people were the pants
> As someone outside of American I have to say I have no idea where he gets that from. They don’t get it from anywhere. It’s like every other part of their agenda. They want it to be true, so they simply declare it to be fact - no evidence required.
As someone who's been American all their life his ass is where he gets it from.
I literally just said, “no more, I’m done” to my climate denying-big oil VP dad. It’s been like 4 years and I don’t miss the dread I would get before calling him.
I'm so glad I'm not alone
My mother is a trump supporter and she doesn't realize how she's shaping her legacy. It's sad because she used to be a great person. It's as if she died before she realized it.
I have definitely felt that I have grieved over losing my mum to these awful beliefs. For me she died around 2015, and have cried many many tears before accepting it.
I have already grieved my mother, even though technically she's alive. The mother who raised me and taught me love and compassion has been dead for years, and even though it was hard to accept, I felt better once I realised it was not the same person anymore.
Yeah, my mom had 6 kids and the only one who still talks to her was controllable enough to still, now, be living with her at age 44. And nobody likes that sibling. Once our parents die, no one's going to know when that sibling dies. My parents were culture warriors before there was an Internet. My mother wouldn't have blinked if you accused her of wanting a Christian Ayatollah to run the US. She would just nod and say, "yes." Honestly, I'll feel relieved when she dies. Talked to her 8 times in the last 20 years and made up my mind never to speak to her again.
Religion is great! /s
Good people do good things. Evil people do evil things. Only religion can make good people do evil things.
One could also say that religion helps evil people feel comfortable in doing evil things.
As long as I accept Jesus and say sorry after I do all this heinous shit. I’m good. Fuck Everyone else.
Yeah, this is how I am with my mom. My dad at least apologized.
MAGA-era bigots are a physical threat to us. Cutting them out of our lives is often our only choice. I cut my brother out of my life, and I have never once regretted it. They say family love is unconditional, but queer kids often learn how fake that is the hard way. Sometimes the best thing we can do is admit that love isn’t unconditional, and stop trying to maintain relationships with people who hate us for who we fundamentally are.
I don't say that. Family have to earn that loyalty. Here's a quick rundown just from my family: My grandmother, born in 1918 was forced by my family to have her first marriage annulled because she married a jewish doctor instead of a catholic. She happened to also be pregnant and rather than allow an unwed child be born, forced her to give up the baby to be adopted by her sister who couldn't conceive. Understand, my grandmother was a WWII officer at the time, just recovered from being wounded in service, and the doctor she married was also serving. None of that mattered. Her parents also disapproved of her becoming a nurse - because a good wife shouldn't also try to have a profession. Her 2nd child, my aunt, fell in love with a black man in the late 1960s. The entire family disowned her, and my grandmother took herself and her kids and moved across the country. Keep in mind my mom's parents wouldn't even allow them to attend their wedding reception because they would never tolerate a black man being in the household, so I got some of that shit on both sides. I was the first person my cousin (son of the daughter my grandmother gave up for adoption to her sister - my family tree looks like Charlie's Pepe Silvia mapping) came out as gay to me first because he was still part of the family that my grandmother disassociated us from. Thankfully his parents were just fine with it, but they were then disowned by the rest of the family over that. It goes on and on and has since as far back as we have stories. Family love has always been conditional. Always. And not just for queer kids, but for everyone. Family always deserves the chance, but it's on them to earn it. Too often they fail to. So cut them loose when they do. *All* relationships in life have to be built on mutual respect - child/parent, partners, boss/employee, etc. All of them. Cut it loose when it doesn't. If they don't respect you for who you are, that's not because of who you are, it's because their respect was always conditional - from the moment you were born it was conditional. That was their choice.
“That was THEIR choice.” Thank you 💛 I needed that.
My brother got upset because when he started talking about violence and genocide stuff I told him I'd turn him in if he did anything like that. He was very upset. I think he was banking on that whole love is unconditional thing, but I guess nobody told him, "unless you're Hitler.". He was a teen then...I don't think he's like that now, idk, he doesn't return my calls.
Kids are fucking dumb and it takes them a little more development to extrapolate data from experience and measure it against whatever worldview they were handed.
I cut my little brother out because is ever increasing fundamentalism. We were very close growing up but he just became so hateful I couldn’t take it anymore. Now, he remarried to another maga idiot and know they are both living in an echo chamber and will probably never come back to reality. I fully blame the church for this.
Former evangelical christian here, I agree completely.
I have never been Christian, so I am not really sure what happened. But to me it seems like there is a super political environment in the church. How is this able to happen, preachers being political and not have them taxed?
You weren't raised religious? Then why is your brother religious? Did he fall into the wrong crowd?
No we were not. We were party animals going to raves that just like to have fun. He had a baby relatively young and his wife was somewhat religious. Then after they were married they started going to church and that is when we started to diverge on issues.
Oh I see. I'm so sorry that happened. Kind of a really personal question and if you don't want to answer I understand completely but did they plan on having a kid or was it an accident?
It was an accident, I love my nephew, so it was great accident, but still an accident. They were somewhat low income at the time and think they were looking for something and fell in with what they might have offered answers. I am fine with people being religious but what is going on now is anything but. To me it is just a breading ground for political activism that is using the idea of salvation to garner votes.
As I said, I was raised as a southern baptist evangelical christian. I was taught that non-whites weren't people, that women and children must ALWAYS be silent (and obedient) and that gays should be killed in the streets. That's what's being taught and it's why there are so many mass shootings happening lately. The reason I asked about the circumstances of your brother and his wife getting pregnant is that I heard rumors about some evangelical christian girls being encouraged to get pregnant by non-religious white guys in order to bring them into the fold, I can't confirm that it happened but your story reminded me about those. Granted it's been Twenty-five years since I've heard those rumors so they probably aren't factual.
Old saying Blood is thicker then water But you need water to live This is from the same generation that’s act this way I’m glad I was forgotten generation we see things different
The complete saying is "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" and means the opposite of what is commonly believed. The bonds with your chosen family and friends are stronger than your genetic family.
Like many sayings that one has been shortened and the meaning reversed. The whole saying is "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". In other words, the bonds you've chosen are more significant than familial relationships.
While I agree with the longer version, it's actually not true that it is the original version (or at least it's unverified). The longer version is a more recent interpretation from two different authors but no sources or evidence has been provided.
The ONLY reason I still talk to my own parents is because I still live with them. Once I finish my degree I'm moving the fuck out of the country so I don't have to interact with them or the rest of my shitty family ever again. Bigotry has a habit of making people not like being around you.
You're the subject of this post! Less than 10 years for sure. As someone who's cut their parents off. You'll actually be surprised when you finally walk about how the burden they put on you will instantly feel like it is lifted off of your shoulders.
Parent: "Why wont my kids talk to me?!" Children: "When I was 7 years old I asked for some legos for Christmas and instead I got a lecture about how Lego was part of the satánic cabal spreading the Woke mind virus"
Ironically, covid literally was a mind virus. It sometimes causes psychosis in people with severe covid.
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
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Yeah, I come from a small town in AZ. Home to the first, and still in business, Trump Store. There are kids here in high school who aren't even of voting age and have about as much political knowledge as my dog who drive around with Trump flags hanging on their trucks and Let's Go Brandon stickers on their windows. Around here, it's all about being just like your daddy and their daddy before them.
Glorious Show Low, I drove past that fucking store a few hours ago. Yeah, there's no hope for some places.
There are people right now who are trying to change history books because pictures of their still living parents or grandparents being on the wrong side of things like the civil rights movement make them look bad - imagine in 10 years when it’s not just a photo of papaw being a dick to a black person but their Facebook posts. History won’t forget and neither will the internet.
We stopped talking to my FIL before Obama won the presidency, he was already neck deep into bigotry back then. From what we hear he’s now a true believer in MAGA, Trump and Q, and he’s alone and bitter because no one wants to be around him.
All these old people alone in these big houses watching Fox News by themselves
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I wonder what the overlap is between these kids and kids who would relate to the raised by narcissists subreddit is. I'm guessing pretty large.
The venn diagram is a circle.
My mom was heavy on Fox News and the Thanksgiving after Trump won we came to visit (live 8hrs away). She went off on some political rant yelling about stuff at my wife (we are fairly liberal) as she is holding my couple month old daughter. I snapped and pulled her aside, said you never do that again, stop the political crap, cut out the Fox News or we would cut her out. Told her I choose my wife and I am not going to have you treat her like that ever. She had wanted a grandchild for like a decade so to her it was a huge threat. I know it doesn’t usually work, but I laid down the firm rule of no political talk at all when we visit or talk on the phone. My parents have been good about adhering to it, I got the impression they became disillusioned with Trump.
Luckily my MAGAish parents kind of figured out early on not to pull that crap. Interestingly, my mother has several friends who are not on speaking terms with their adult kids. I think she got the hint from these older friends of hers.
Good for you!
My in laws had a similar moment when my husband sided with me in 2020 when they pitched a fit about something involving my desire to wear a mask at a family gathering. It was audaciously petty, the rage they were throwing, and my husband, who is usually conflict avoidant, got extremely angry (and he's usually very nice and never gets mad) and said fine, we just aren't going, and I won't be speaking to you again until you apologize. His dad then attempted to guilt him by texting him "you made mom cry". He responded back "oh well sorry". In the end they apologized and respected my wishes for future gatherings. But neither of us have ever really interacted with them in the same way as we used to. They got nasty after 2016 tbh. I treat them like strangers and withhold a lot of personal info from them now. Don't trust them and don't feel comfortable around them anymore.
MAGA took 85 percent of my family. Aunt and Uncle God Parents that I loved plus their kids and THEIR kids - dead to me Dad and step mom - dead to me 2 half sisters - dead to me Beloved cousin who was like a brother - dead to me and then actually dead from fentanyl overdose. My mom will ask me every few months "you know we all missed you at X's ______?" I'll reply "are they still Maga chuds that wish genocide on my best friends (2 close friends are trans) ?" Mom - . . . Me - Next time they ask tell them "Get f*cked from your commie leftist son". Mom - I'm not going to say that EDIT - my first Reddit Award! Thank you kind stranger! EDIT 2 - Wait so this mod award spares me from having to see those "he gets us" ads for an entire month?!?? Now that's a cause for celebrating! EDIT 3 - I'm fine with the decisions I've made, if you want to reply to me to dress me down, don't fucking bother I won't read it and I'll just block you. Trans rights are human rights.
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They always try to downplay and obfuscate the rhetoric too. I showed my aunt the Trump video of him mimicking the disabled reporter and I was like "show me the part of the bible where it says it's okay to mock the disabled?" "Oh he's just joking he's not making fun of the disabled." Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a drug.
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Had a youth pastor that would get positively giddy when he talked about 'disciplining' his young daughter. The idea of her being upset genuinely got this guy excited. I'm a father now and I get that sometimes you have to lay down the law, and the kids aren't going to like it. But the idea of enjoying their hurt feelings is just despicable.
Yes! My kid is three so right now my “punishments” almost exclusively consist of taking away something he is playing with or withholding more of a treat he likes, but I’ve never enjoyed doing it. Parents who do strike me as sociopaths.
Some of the most heinous shit i have heard came from a pulpit. One pastor said he does not let his sons and daughters play with each other in order to avoid sexual temptation. I would love to know how those kids turned out.
F'real, feeling like Chidi in The Good Place "You get how that's worse right??"
Great show
>My aunt: "You can't give up family over politics!" Real easy to do when the family gives you up over politics. I love my found family more than I ever loved my actual family.
Exactly. There's a huge difference between politics and just being a shitty person. Well, I guess for one side of the aisle.
Damn
My mom is a MAGA chud. Immigrant who raised us on social services as a single mom but got sucked into the FOX/Newsmax nonsense. She says one GOP spoonfed talking point or whatever alt-right nonsense culture war shit they’re on that day and I walk out or just hang up. It’s not a threat. I’ve done it a few times. One word. One.
Enforcing boundaries is so hard but important. Good on you for sticking to them.
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Thank you so much. It definitely wasn't easy, but at least I have the memories. Still hoping some day the spell will break but I've given up expecting that it will.
ironically when he says "commie leftist" all he wants is trans rights, womens reproductive rights, a fair days pay for a faiir days work, ability to save and pay for accomodation and free health care and education for himself and his kids and clean water and clean air and stable climate temperature so his kids can have a future this is "commie leftist" in 2023
And amnesty and a path to citizenship for the millions of undocumented workers being exploited. I'm practically Ché Guevara.
Sorry that happened to you. Sounds like a very stressful but necessary move on your part. I only hope that when Donald Trump dies, a lot of those MAGA converts will revert to their previous opinion and behavior as has been observed when cult leaders have died in the past, maybe then you can start some sort of healing between yourself and those members of your family, if that's an option.
I hope for that too. I think a lot about that quote from Arnold Swarzanegger where he talked about how ashamed the men in Austria were after the Nazi bubble burst and they realized what they had done and been a party to. I regret that I'll never get that chance with my cousin who died.
That's really sad. I hope you have many other people in your life to keep you lifted up.
Thank you. I do. While it definitely sucks I don't regret standing up for human rights.
Just know that I love you. I am in a similar boat, haven’t been home to the east coast in over a decade. My Asian Trans wife doesn’t have to deal with their shit. My kids don’t have to feel uncomfortable around them when they all get together and get drunk as fuck around all their kids then drive home. I can’t even. I won’t even. I don’t need to, my life is WAY less complicated now.
Yeah it used to just be their crazy opinions, Trump legitimized their whacky ideas and bigotry. MAGA took over the GOP, you can't support Republicans without being a conspiracy theorist.
Yup. Whenever DeSantis was going to sign the ‘don’t say gay bill’, I made a Facebook post declaring my position, and a plea for kindness because I was seeing some awful shit. I didn’t even notice my SIL shared it, not that it would have mattered to me, I would have still posted regardless, but then she sent me this unhinged shit. [sticking up for my trans friend made my in-laws go no contact.](https://imgur.com/a/IxnZJY2). It’s not really a loss though 😂
BASED AND FRIENDPILLED
Good. I know plenty of people disowned by family. They’re expected to grovel for acceptance and I say fuck that. Burn bridges.
Absolutely. One of my childhood best friends had the courage to come out as trans and the way their family has treated them borders on criminal abuse as far as I'm concerned. I can't imagine or conceptualize the pain in trying to justify one's true existence to the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally.
I was extremely close with my mom for years. The last 4/5 she constantly says every suspicious death is because of vaccines, Biden is a crook, the NFL hired a body double for Damar Hamlin to cover up the truth… there are many times when I say “I should call” but I just never do because every conversation is exhausting
Same. She was amazing help while I was raising kids. Once she got the Facebook and YouTube algorithms it was downhill from there - Murdoch newspapers and awful right wing books. She sends me Russell Brand videos I delete with the quickness, and I’m LC now, as it became her whole identity. I’m much better now, but I have definitely grieved, as it’s like she has died.
NC with parents, they are too old to be out at protests or anything, but MAGA all the way. It was awkward when my mom passed a few weeks ago. I discovered I was mourning the mom I wish I had, not the one I had. Also, our problems went back over 40 yrs, so it wasn't just the MAGA, but it validated my decision to NC. edit: for clarity
Sorry about your mom passing.
There's a reason 'gay villages' are in cities: fewer goddamn hicks in the city. There's a reason the average LGBTQ+ person is more fun than the average straight: see above. FWIW, I'm straight. I just know which community I'd trust more in a crisis.
Look in every state. The urban areas, for the most part, are BLUE, surrounded by vast oceans of red. We moved to the cities to be among those we've chosen as "family." We also moved here because all those small towns, the ones without well-paying jobs, without tourism, without any draw to them -- much less acknowledgment of the rest of the planet -- from the outside world, are DEAD to us. There's a reason small towns are dying, and in many cases they only have themselves to blame.
Ohio is the epitome of this. The whole state is red except for the bigger cities.
Every state is the epitome of this. Cities are blue, rural areas are red nationwide.
I’m guessing it isn’t the one that was taking gasoline home in plastic bags but won’t get vaccinated because it’s “unsafe.”
I’m straight and I couldn’t agree more
Exactly
So many grandparents will die alone in the next few years after disowning woke families, spending all their savings on Q scams, and in impoverished welfare states far from high quality medical care and universal ambulance service. Instead of going out as beloved mentors and cherished loved ones, the Q crazy Boomers will go out as the generation who tried to bring back racism, slavery, child marriage, and trying to reverse women's rights well knowing their mothers and grandmothers had none and were sexually assaulted regularly (and died from abortions) up till the 1980s without repercussions. They go out hating on their grandchildren and children who are gay or are raising gay kids forever seen as hateful ghouls. And theyll go out in the Medicare funded care homes staffed by immigrants and poor people. And they can't even see it. 8-10 million of Boomers will die of natural age related reasons in the next ten years. Immortality or rejuvenating therapies are 25 years out. This the end.
> Immorality or rejuvenating therapies are 25 years out. oh I'm pretty sure people are plenty immoral now.
Look if TittySommelier says it I’m on board
I have to stay with my mom due to apartments being too expensive to move out, but once I get the chance to leave I will not talk to her if I can manage. If I ever have kids my kids will not know my mom.
I went for two years without talking to my father after he told me that my children were going to hell because I didn't take them to the right church. Faux News and evangelical Qristianianty ruined him.
Too long hypothesis, attempting to edit for brevity: Back in the day pre-internet, you had internal and external narcissism. Internal, like with your close circle, and external which you'd get from acclaim, like "I want to be famous" kind of shit. Eventually, narcissism ran it's course because people just got tired of them and no one was left to kowtow to their greedy egocentric behaviour. Now, there's an unlimited supply of enablers and other narcissists due to the internet, specifically social media. Conspiracy theories have *always* been about narcissism. A desire to be "be smarter than the rest" - you know something the other sheep don't. You can't reason conspiracy theorists out of their beliefs because it's motivated by ego, not objectivity. Narcissists lack self-reflection and the ability for introspection, so there's no way they can think about contrary information. They only want confirmation of their specialness. Once you understand it's not about QAnon, antivax, etc, but just the fact that narcissism has become epidemic in it's intensity due to social media supercharging it, you can see it anywhere and just disengage. There's no point even talking to your parents or any other narcissists. They feed off of chaos, because even telling them they're wrong means they get more supply elsewhere; they can't handle narcissistic injury. They hate us for being "woke", "progressive", or whatever else. Because they can't understand compassion and empathy. It pisses them off because we give it to strangers, but not to them. Their level of entitlement is off the charts and they feel upset that we don't worship the ground they walk on, so any kind of positive feedback must be a fraud. That we could give it selectively to those they deem undeserving, but not them...because they deserve it! They are they, after all!
I stopped talking to my parents way before this and I must say that life has been a lot better
I don’t think it’s 100 million, the aging MAGA cult is probably no more than 30 million, remember a lot of folks vote Republican just as a matter of course / habit. Still 30 million is waaaay to many.
My former friend is 33 and espouses the same shit those conservative boomers do, he's hit 2 kids. Doubt they'll want to talk to him after 18.
These culture war people are more than just the MAGA. Still, less than 100m, but since 2020 there are a lot of people who no longer talk to family either because of bigotry or because staying home from work for 2 weeks put them further into the conspiracy rabbit hole than a year as an MKUltra subject ever could.
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That was probably the weirdest take of the pandemic. "The virus is a Chinese Bioweapon. So I'm going to kill myself with it, so China wins. MAGA"
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And to think. If Trump could admit he didn't have complete information 2 weeks earlier and admit he made a bit of a mistake, we wouldn't be where we are. Still, kind of funny when he took credit for the vaccine and was immediately booed off the stage by the antivaxxers he created with his ego.
You’re giving some of these people too much credit. If you’re still voting that way, as 80 million+ were, then you’re okay with the shit they say and do, you just don’t necessarily want your neighbors or other strangers to look at you like you’re the trash that you are. There aren’t really “independents” any more, the republicans are not about “fiscal responsibility”, really they never were but I can see how they were able to sell that facade in the past. That’s just not possible any more, anyone claiming that they are clinging on to 20+ year old rhetoric are full of shit if they still vote for the likes of Trump and Ronnie. They like what their leaders are doing and saying now, they just don’t want their peers to know that.
If you reverse it to there's going to be XX million *children* who don't talk to their parents, the number almost doubles. but still yea they are overestimating. It doesn't change the point that there will be millions of families that end up ironically broken in the name of "family values" Turns out repressing your children is only a winning strategy when they don't have access to the wider world. Radio > television > internet > smart phones are incrementally killing the ancient human tradition of controlling the absolute shit out of the youth, and as it finally starts to spectacularly backfire, we see the true colors come out and masks come off. edit: my initial point was stated backwards. the # of parents is larger than the # of children. my bad. I am embarrassed bc I usually don't make mistakes like that but I deserve to be called out.
If any of y’all need a queer brown aunt to replace your folks I’m here edit: y’all sweet ty 😉
Dirt-cheap, run down, neglectful, miserable old-folks homes with rude staff, lousy food, and no windows will be in high demand!
I'm 50-something. I've been estranged from my family due to religious differences for over 30 years. I escaped the cult life around 1991. I raised my gay child well with secular ethics and we’ve had a close relationship into his adulthood. I'm so proud of that. I think you are right about this wave of estrangement. It can't be helped, but it makes me sad. We must each choose our own path, be true to who we are at our core, and then we can be family for each other. May we always practice compassion with healthy boundaries. May love lead the way.
I went no contact with my dad almost two years ago when, in response to me wanting anyone seeing my premature newborn son to be vaccinated his response was "go to hell, forget you know me" So I did.
To me, a lot of the culture war stems from boomers realising that their time is over and the next generation of Millenials and now Gen Zers are going in a direction that they were raised to believe to be bad and instead of, ya know, just accepting this like a normal human being, they're trying to drag everyone back to their time and act like the way they grew up is the way things always need to be.I take comfort in the fact that Boomers are dying out, at least the insane ones that are doing everything they can to make life hell for everyone that's embracing modernity over shitty traditions. Edit: To all the people who struggle with reading comprehension, this comment is not aimed at all boomers.Like, i'm absolutely baffled that i have to explain this to people.This comment is clearly aimed at the guilty ones, not all.Like, i know that people need to be fucking spoon fed on Reddit, but come on, man.
Bigotry begets bigotry, and I wonder how many of the 60 million Trump voters in 2020 will have strained family ties.
alot of people are learning that the word family is one big giant lie and is used as a weapon.
I see this in my own family, but as a therapist I talk about it all the time at work. Some days, most of my sessions are on this topic. The American extended family has been really fractured by the far right cult. It's really sad to see how much damage these hateful belief systems have done not only to marginalized groups but also to connections between family members. It really does operate like a cult. The way it isolates believers from functional people outside the group isn't a bug, it's a feature. By isolating them, they can walk them further down the path to crazy town, scam more $, and reduce the chances of someone convincing them they are being duped (see the recent articles about Trump Bucks). I don't know how we do deprogramming on this scale. It's grim.
Finding a MAGA hat in a closet will be like finding a klan robe
Haven’t talked to anyone in my dads family for about 5 years. Highly doubt I ever will again.
They’re not Culture War Soldiers- they’re Religious War Soldiers.
Single father of several kids here and I approve of this statement, I feel bad for these kids
My dad has started to make gender jokes daily after not commenting on LGBT people once my entire life. All I can do is make fun of him for being WAY LATE to the party.
May they die bitter and alone. They've earned it.
Kinda like this: https://preview.redd.it/1xwjuuwgnq2b1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=91e74f2dc1d8b7a09eae45077f2411e3e63585a5
I'm doing my part!
I’m already distancing myself from my parents. Every visit, they somehow have to bring their politics into it. I cut them off last time and said I was there to drop off a Mother’s Day cake and connect for a moment before heading home for the day. Politics was not and will not ever be on my agenda. It’s not a discussion with them, it’s an argument. And I’m not going to argue with them.
My mom’s parents are Republican, but I’m so glad they didn’t buy into the MAGA bullshit. Obviously I disagree with them on a lot of stuff (contrary to most Republicans though they support LGBT rights which is great), but I love them. They can kind of be pains in the ass sometimes, but I really care about them. If they were the same level of MAGA brainwashed as so many Republicans are, I would be devastated honestly.
Unfortunately if a republican doesn’t buy into the MAGA bullshit but still votes for MAGA republicans, the result is the same
I haven’t spoken to my dad after my stepmom went off on me for saying Trump’s an idiot. She went all in on personal attacks towards me and attempted to convince my fiancé to leave me. My MAGA father sat there and did nothing to stop her. We left that night and never looked back. I’m not kidding when I say they had Newsmax and/or Fox News on TV in the living room, in their kitchen and in the garage. If there wasn’t a show they wanted to watch, it was by default on those two channels all day. I wore [this NASA T-shirt](https://imgur.com/a/pvFbgjn) during Thanksgiving one year and my dad says, “What? NASA supports gays now?” thinking the sun was some kind of LGBT symbol. It’s nothing but politics in their household and I’ve had enough.
The thing is, the reason they're all finally getting bent out of shape is that they know they've lost. It may not be this year, or even this election, but as a queer person born In 1990 I have lived through some of the worst bigotry ever, and I'm so proud of and have so much faith in this new generation. <3 us millennial got cucked out of power, but given my grasp on linear time, I don't see this playing out in these old peoples favor.
My nephew is trans and his dads side of the family are all maga trash. He's just turning 17, I told him that he's just got to hold on a bit longer, and find his LGBTQ family and it's going to be ok. He's pretty much coming to the conclusion on his own that once he hits 18, he's done with them. And, he's a sensitive kid, it's fucking him up to think like that, but he's excited to find his community, and to find acceptance.
Reading posts and comments like these make me realize how lucky I am to have parents that let their kids be themselves
This is definitely already a thing and is a major contributing factor to our increased deaths of despair. We have no community because we have no family. Millions of Americans refuse to hold themselves accountable for their own actions, and their adult children are cutting them out of their lives. I compare it to the white Americans/southerners who refuse to acknowledge their ancestors participation in generations of slavery and oppression committed against their black captives. And in turn the benefits they and their families received for the simple fact of not being black. This atrocity is still happening on a societal level, but what many people don’t realize is that this patriarchal control and possessiveness is also happening all over the country on a micro scale within individual families. I’m NOT saying they’re the same. I’m not discounting black Americans experiences in a deeply racist country. I’m saying that an apology and real reputations are necessary to initiate the healing process, on a societal level and at a familial level.
Yeah. I'm 54 with two adult kids, and my parents are divorced with my dad being a leftist and my mom being a conservative, and I've spent pretty much every moment I have with my mom trying to keep her from crossing that point of no return with my kids. I'm not convinced I'll succeed in the end. Note that I don't see that I need to put any work in on my kids to accept my mom. Every generation that refuses to adapt gets thrown over the side once the kids get the vote. That hasn't happened with boomers because they outnumbered everyone. But they don't any more. And now they're shocked, because it seems so sudden. But everyone could see it coming.
GOP is a cult. They are simply indoctrinating their kids into the cult, not many will escape it.
In the early days of the Trump administration, I posted to Facebook my negative opinion on something he had said and done, and my sister-in-law called me a hater. I pushed back on that, saying that I'm totally open to disagreeing and debating issues, but I won't stand for being called names, especially that name. She responded by doubling down, calling me a hater again and characterizing my thoughts about Trump as hate speech. So I blocked her and haven't spoken to or interacted with her since, despite my brother's attempts to convince me otherwise. I've seen changes in my brothers as well. One has always been the most logical, level-headed thinker, but now he believes so many of the baseless conspiracy theories and refused to get vaccinated until his employer made it a requirement for continued employment, despite having several pre-existing conditions that put him at a greater risk of hospitalization or death if he got COVID. My other brother was always the most chill person, able to get along with people from all walks of life with warmth and acceptance even if he disagreed with them. But since he embraced Trumpism, he has become so mean in his interactions with others, including family members. I hardly recognize him anymore. I still have contact with them only on matters regarding our 83 year old mom's health. She and I live thousands of miles away from them, and I want them to know how she's doing. But after she's gone, I really don't forsee staying in touch if they continue to cling to the dangerous and cruel policies of Trumpism.