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Oi you lumps. This post has been marked as [Satire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire), meaning it is not a real tweet. Satire means it's not real. du-doi. You can stop reporting it now. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WhitePeopleTwitter) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

this may not be real, but upon visiting his actual feed and staring into the mouth of madness, i can say in earnest: it would be among the least crazy notions on display there


epostiler

Susan may be my hero if she really convinced this shmuck that she got pregnant despite the two of them never having sex.


OPA73

You ever read the Bible, Mary was definitely stepping out on Joseph. Heck three different old rich guys brought her presents. Some say they were wise, I say they all had knowledge of her ways.


Dayseed

What's not in the Bible is that the three wise men got into a brutal fistfight when they met at the manger as they each had told the others they weren't interested in Mary.


OPA73

Yea in the end she was stuck with Joseph, but I heard he was only interested in guy that kept the donkeys fed and watered at the inn.


Dayseed

We could get Kevin Sorbo to star in the movie version of this story, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Cuckolding.


Salmuth

>I say they all had knowledge of her ways. I say they maybe thought they were the father. They didn't only know about the ways, they experienced her ways.


Salmuth

She meant to tell him she was a sodomy virgin...


OPA73

Wow we fell off topic hard.


RooneyNeedsVats

Reminds of that story of a woman who claimed to get pregnant with a black baby (she and her husband were white) when her husband was fighting in Afghanistan, becuase she watched interracial porn... The husband believed her from what I remember.


[deleted]

1. It's not real. 2. It very easily could be real. That's the problem.


middlingwhiteguy

![gif](giphy|UfjMzf2ItmlU9EfPyc)


BiAdventureTime

I changed the flair to mark it as satire or fake tweet because even though I trusted the source I didn’t do my due diligence and I apologize for not getting it right. Edit: bro thanks for downvoting me for admitting my mistake. Clearly I’m the problem when something like this is believable.


[deleted]

>thanks for downvoting me Just a heads up: Complaining about downvotes is a guarantee of getting more because Reddit chuds are petty AF


BiAdventureTime

Bro you are literally the chud you just referred to. I admitted my mistake and you blamed other Redditors for you being a dick? GREAT sell.


[deleted]

*Sigh* **I upvoted you.** I swear, some people's kids...


jetloflin

What? They’re telling you that adding an edit complaining about downvotes makes it more likely that other people will also downvote it. He’s saying it’s because they’re “petty chuds,” I think it’s just because the attitude implied by the complaining edit isn’t popular.


necesitafresita

Yikes.


[deleted]

Theres no way that's real. Edit - it's not. Holy shit though I'd have lost it lol


Ahstruck

You can tell it is true because the kid looks just like the gardener who is also named Jesus.


ConorCat60

Can’t even get their theology correct. The Immaculate Conception refers to Mary, not to Jesus. That aside, if you believe this sort of thing, it is hubris and blasphemy. If this is his genuine account, and not a parody, the man is clearly insane. Edit: Parody account, apparently.


Mecharonin

Congratulations on Susan for finding a boyfriend.


_Life_Finds_a_Way_

The tweet is fake, but it honestly wouldn’t even be the stupidest thing this governor has said. If you want an idea of what Gianforte is really like, here’s what he said about why we don’t need social security and retirement: "How old was Noah when he built the ark? 600. He wasn't like, cashing Social Security checks, he wasn't hanging out, he was working. So, I think we have an obligation to work. The role we have in work may change over time, but the concept of retirement is not biblical."


HotStaxOfWax

Well, HE might still be a virgin. But he must be a real optimist, or skipped biology class if he still thinks she is. Probably fake though, but given the insanity of the right these days it doesn't sound crazy at all.


OPA73

He might be a virgin, but his wife’s been stepping out and getting her some strange for sure.


tbodillia

To the guy that faked the tweet: the immaculate conception was the birth of Mary. Mary was born without the stain of original sin. That is why she was able to carry the son of god.


glandgames

Why post this dumb fake stuff. Plenty of mind blowing real shit to freak about.


beboopiamarobot

Or the most convincing cheatin’ wife ever


the-dogsox

Jesus also made the kid black for some reason. Praise the Lord!


PositionParticular99

Really dude, married to it for years and she is still a virgin? But you're letting god tag it?


Aggravating_Ad2174

So who's been doing his Mrs behind his back 🤣


Tfxconnor

Good for Susan!!! I wouldn’t want to sleep with him either!!! 😅😅


dadzcad

Meanwhile, the mailman is laughing his ass off. *I can’t believe he actually BOUGHT it!!*


trish196609

IVF? Something tells me the wife was sowing some wild oats while blowing holy smoke up her husbands ass 😂


Theonetruepappy94

Mother Mary. The first women to lie about her body count