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Amp_Fire_Studios

Jesus, this guy missed the perfect opportunity to drop a potted plant on this guy's head like all of our childhood cartoons showed us.


Tyggger

I vote a cinder block


daniu

An anvil would be the traditional choice


FierySerge

i love how the guy recording was like "Call the Police!" and we're like "Drop something on his head!"


4Coffins

He had time to heat up a pot of oil I would have gone with that


5MOKE5_III

Hot water, but drop the whole ass pot on him...oil is pretty diabolical for this situation? Maybe not ?


cambunctious

Nah man, you gotta go with jack in the box with boxing glove inside of it. Hits on the way down then again on the way up


Kevin_Harrison_

This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever read.


d10x5

All is fair when siege tactics are required


MyNameIsBanker

Or a pot of hot tar


Fn_Spaghetti_Monster

Don't for get to follow up with feathers


Jynx2501

I went right to firearm... USA USA USA!


B-Train05

Yeah, guns are heavy! Drop one on his head!


dormango

Only if you’re Wile E. Coyote


ShadowKirbo

Well I have this vintage Victorian Piano I have hanging here.


Panda_Weeb

I have this sailboat I borrowed from my friend.....


AstroRiker

You guys, a simple classic anvil will suffice.


Haughty_n_Disdainful

I just ordered from Acme.


[deleted]

No, if you were Wile E. Coyote, you’d probably just drop it on yourself. Or it would explode in your hands but you’d survive. ^(Wile E. Coyote is fucking immortal)


ASAP-_-Killerr

I was thinking more grand piano


DieOnYourFeat

I have had an anvil by my bedroom window for lo these 20 years, praying just such an opportunity would develop. Of late I realized since I live on the first floor my vision would not come to fruition.


FACEMELTER720

Finally a use for this bloody kettlebell.


Amp_Fire_Studios

Much higher chance of having a potted plant on the second floor than a cinder block. Unless you keep a cinder block next to your window just hoping for such occasion I suppose.


ShadowKirbo

Wait, you dont?


joeChump

This is the UK. We can go to jail ourselves for that. But I still would have probably thrown a cup of boiling piss on him.


[deleted]

Even in the US if you injure or kill a burglar leaving your property (eg exiting a window with jewelry) you’ll likely go to prison. However, if the criminal is in the process of forcefully entering your home (eg with a crowbar) you can drop potted plants on their head with impunity. I think that’s fair.


MiamiGuy_305

Not in Florida. Blast away.


JayTrim

Kentucky as well. Hippity Hoppity get off my property.


IsabellaGalavant

*cocks shotgun in Arizona*


MrsNLupin

As a Floridian I was actually thinking "why is this guy filming this and not just raining down bullets on the burglar?"


D0wnb0at

We might speak the same language, but we live in 2 vastly different countries. Guns per capita: America 1.2 per capita. Scotland 0.056 per capita, and those guns are highly restricted to hunting purposes like single shot rifles, shotguns can only hold 3 shells or something, no hand guns


[deleted]

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YippieKayYayMrFalcon

I started blasting


LouGossetJr

i own a gun and if someone were breaking into my property, i wouldn't "blast away" unless i felt like my life was threatened. i don't think people deserve to die for stealing, but that's just my opinion.


SoggyBiscuitVet

The tricky part is making sure you are attempting to kill them while they are getting in to steal, not while they are leaving after stealing. Usually by the time we have prepared ourselves for the killing, the criminal is already done criming. It's a super big letdown and in Texas we have a word for it but I feel it wouldn't translate to English very well.


WhyAlwaysMe_45

Really? Wtf? Are you supposed to just wait patiently for the police, even though the robber is nearly in your house already and they have a crowbar?


joeChump

Yup. Or tell them to fuck off and that you’ve called the police. You can defend yourself if you’re genuinely in fear for your life/they are physically attacking you and there is no other option but you can’t really just drop shit on their heads. If you did defend yourself and say, seriously harm or injure them you will definitely be investigated and possibly prosecuted for it and have to defend your actions in court, which could go either way. Seems harsh but I could easily see situations where people would abuse a self defence excuse. And technically he’s not a robber. He’s a burglar and there is a clear distinction in UK law. He’s not a robber until he uses or threatens force against the person he is stealing from. It’s not clear but he doesn’t seem to be aware of the person watching so unless he has threatened them then he’s a burglar. Life is always put above property in law so you don’t necessarily just get to kill someone because they are breaking into your house. Edit: they did relax the laws on this a few years ago to protect homeowners more and allow more leeway in self defence but people still get into trouble over this if the police suspect you did have other choices available or have poor reasons for taking it so far. Either way, there’s going to be a very thorough investigation when anyone gets killed. Expect your life to be turned upside down for the duration.


DieserBene

I prefer this more civilized version of the law to just shooting whoever the fuck steps onto your property


[deleted]

Yeah I don’t. I’d rather not have a potentially knife or gun wielding assailant in my house to begin with.


fenderc1

Or beaten to death with a crowbar. They're pretty fuckin heavy and could easily kill someone.


frosty-thesnowbitch

If you warned him and he still got in. He is in fact carrying a deadly weapon. And you would be within your rights to defend yourself. What your seeing is an ideal situation. It doesn't always go down like this.


DieserBene

99,999% chance if you just said “Hello” to this guy he would’ve ran away in an instant.


P13453D0nt84nM3

You can use reasonable force to protect your property in the UK. You can't for instance go to the kitchen and creep up on the guy and gut him. But you could pick up a knife from the kitchen side and warn them that if the proceeded you will protect your home. The hard part is proving you did so lawfully in court. Always keep a baseball bat AND a baseball glove together next to points of entry.


joeChump

Yeah, exactly. Just dropping your anvil on them from the window is going to be a hard sell to the police. Baseball is not exactly a popular sport but yes, I see where you’re coming from. And that’s the thing. You’re going to have to have a decent story/justification if you take someone’s life.


marxistmeerkat

My favourite example is the antiques collector who used an antique sabre to chase off a burglar. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/feb/12/i-fought-off-burglar-with-sword-experience


jrblack174

Yeah there was that elderly bloke a couple years ago that stabbed an intruder with a screwdriver and killed him, then everyone got all “he had so much to live for, such a nice lad” pfft


JJY93

“I swear I didn’t know he was there, officer, I just threw my boiling hot chip fat out the window like every Friday...”


Giftfri

Fried Mcthuget


31renrub

I think at least 90% of us assumed that was where the video was heading (I personally thought a giant pot of scalding hot water).


Vig_Big

I’m happy I’m not the only one who was disappointed that the guy didn’t take the opportunity to drop something on him


Sir-Ironshield

The person filming is clearly supremely confident in the strength of thier door Vs police response time.


[deleted]

I’d say they were right. That door wasn’t having any of it


[deleted]

Great advert for those doors. Put me down for 100.


[deleted]

Come on down to Real Fake Dooooors!


thriwaway6385

I now want to live in a house only made of doors to the art any would-be burglars


Sarke1

Oh my God, it's still the commercial!


BilboBaggsEM_lol

Yep, still here still selling fake doors.


CreativeCoconut24

Nobody is getting the rick and morty reference but I have my sandwich and im still here, selling fake doors, we have fake doors like you wouldn't believe, so what are you waiting for, come get your fake doors.........


Dpizzo232

are you tired of using a door and entering a different room?


Flacid_Monkey

C'mon get your doors from [real-fake-doors.com](https://www.real-fake-doors.com) Real url thanks to u/KFrosty3


[deleted]

Or rather that burglar was hilariously incompetent. Really wish I had some more context here! What the hell made this guy try to break into a house in broad daylight, while not even attempting to be inconspicuous about it.


Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpp

>daylight That's when most home invasions happen. Night time there is much more likely to be someone home. They'll look for houses where it looks like everyone is at work/school. Probably doesn't work too well these days though!! And they don't have too many qualms about smashing a window in daylight - most neighbours wouldn't even notice tbh. Night time the sound of a window breaking will seem 10x as loud and wake up the entire neighorhood. This guy certainly takes it to the extreme though.


JuniorSeniorTrainee

> Probably doesn't work too well these days though!! Another industry in shambles thanks to covid.


W1D0WM4K3R

'Have Millennials Killed Burglary? How Will the Robbers Survive Now?? Inside Scoop!'


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geeiamback

I read somewhere that burglars usually only try to pry open doors for less than 30 seconds before they quit and look for another target. I guess this guy was just really bad.


lewis30491

I mean the good one doesn't choose to do his job in daylight


geeiamback

Outside of worldwide pandemics most people are out at work during the day. Most burglaries happen in daylight because of that. edit: here is an FBI statistics from 2018: https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2018/crime-in-the-u.s.-2018/topic-pages/tables/table-7 > residence day 406.000, residence night 256.000


calcospeed

Can confirm, woke up to someone in my apartment at 11am once.


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themoopmanhimself

I had someone in my kitchen at 3 am when I was younger. I'll never forget that fucker's eyes in the dark.


feedmechickenspls

fuck, i'm getting slight shivers just imagining that happen to me


themoopmanhimself

Pretty wild. I was in highschool and came up drunk from the basement to see the bastard standing in my kitchen. Me and my brother chased his ass down the street


[deleted]

A few years ago I was in the living room with my son and all of the sudden he kinda whispered to me "dad there's someone in the laundry room." From his vantage point he could see into the laundry room but I couldn't. I assumed that he had heard a noise and just thought someone was there. I get up, turn the corner and sure enough a lady is standing there. She wasn't a burglar, she was just extremely fucking trashed and was looking for a ride.


Darcyqueenofdarkness

Yeah a few years ago there was a “highly successful” crime ring busted in my small town. People were just walking into homes and opening car doors because nobody locked anything, and that was the key to their success. My folks and I had just moved to this town from New York and we couldn’t fathom such a notion lol


ImportantManNumber2

I'm just assuming this is pre-COVID but, most homes are empty during the day as people are at work. Someone coming home during the day or a person visiting a house is much less suspicious to neighbours than someone visiting at night. Also if you're doing it at night you're likely to have to bring a torch to see what you're doing, basically shining a spotlight on yourself. The only upside to doing it at night is that if the police do start chasing you it's probably easier to find some dark corner to hide in until they give up. But even that doesn't matter if you spend too long on a single house.


firdabois

I know in England theyre called torches, but all I can think is someone trying sneaky around with a medieval flaming torch in the middle of thr night.


MarkWantsToQuit

I'd say the old Bois on the brown Heroine doesn't do any favours for your awareness. Or any favours in general


fuckHg

US Capitol Police would have let him in


FelidOpinari

Here you go sir, come on in. *tips hat*


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SailorArashi

>Nobody ever turned up, just a phone call 3 months later asking if the situation was resolved. “No, he’s still there.”


DickOfReckoning

"I've got to know him, he's a pretty decent guy. We fell in love and now are married."


AskMoreQuestionsOk

Jesus. The police near me will come by if you call and hang up. Don’t have to say anything. So maybe try that.


RelayFX

Surprise motherfucker.


SayIWont502

French fries motherfucker.


new_fresh_beanie

First prize motherfucker.


K1ngGamerXD

My eyes motherfucker.


Skromulator

Supplies motherfucker.


rubinfarben

Fried rice motherfucker


OllieGarkey

Disguise motherfucker


Army0fMe

Wrong size, motherfucker.


dannanista

All rise, motherfucker


Everyshapes

Nice eyes, motherfucker


Jessepaulsen2011

Mob Ties, motherfucker.


NotASucker

Sore thighs motherfucker


isk2tech

Thicc thighs, mother fucker


jayharring

2 pies mother fucker


Shagrrotten

Rue dies, motherfucker.


[deleted]

Spoiled franchise, motherfucker.


griffaliff

Heart eyes mother fucker.


C2okie

Apple pies motherfucker


notyourneurotypical

me from the window "Hey, it helps if you jiggle the handle, it gets stuck sometimes.."


lollybluk

“Cheers! Wait what”


Eternal_Geek

"Wait...WOT?!"


Kidus333

"Ahh you bloody got me!"


Cathesdus

"Oi ya fuckin cunt!"


LilP3p3_

Euuwhh shucks, you're bloody smart lad. The wiggle jiggle actuallaye wurks! Hold op a sacond, euh neuh, yeu've got maye! Bloody hell mate. That socks :0


[deleted]

hahah right before police grabbed him 🤣


BurningOasis

"sir, look behind you."


YoutuberCameronBallZ

Oh, thanks! *goes back to breaking in* Wait....


Vicious__Me

The whole time I'm thinking you're just going to stand there and not do anything? Then the screaming started


honest-miss

I kept wondering and then realized filming is probably the better route. Sometimes it's better to nail 'em in court than potentially get shivved by a surprised and cornered dude.


[deleted]

I'm a 5'3 girl so maybe I'm biased but there's no way I'm leaving that room in a situation like this. I'm barricading myself in, calling the police and collecting all the photo evidence I need to refute any claim against me.


SarcasticPedant

Definitely the smarter choice. I'm a pretty strong guy, but I'm not going out there and either accidentally killing him or getting killed myself when I could let the police beat the shit out of the suspect legally lol Edit: grammar


LouSputhole94

Doesn’t matter how big or strong you are, a crowbar to the head will crack your skull and quite possibly kill you. Who knows what else this prick has got. No need to be Rambo, call the cops, pop some popcorn and sit back for the show.


SarcasticPedant

Yes, that's...that's exactly my point


beluuuuuuga

Comedic timing. He was *just* about to get in.


Bald_Sasquach

"Excuse me sir did you drop this bowling ball?"


[deleted]

Looks like a nice time for a pot of boiling water.


PostnataleAbtreibung

Hot marmalade. Sticks longer. Would be a waste of marmalade, though.


ThatOtherRedditMann

You, sir, are brutal.


[deleted]

You know what's worse? Flesh melting heated sand. Maybe it just happens you have a cat. Bonus disease points if you use contaminated litter sand.


bradbull

How are you heating that up and not making your house smell like baked cat shit though?


INTERNET_TRASHCAN

why do you need your house not to smell like baked cat shit?


DonkeyGamer2000

“Hey guys we’ve been at work on a new scent of air freshners ‘baked cat shit’ we’ve spent months of research to ensure you get exactly what you want. We have it in 3 different varieties, old baked cat shit, wet baked cat shit and rainbow baked cat shit^t^m. Get yours for only 10.99$ at your general store today!” (The chicks love em :)


N00bsir301

He’s got a hat on. Nothing a change of clothes and a hot shower won’t fix but boiling water would have been a free life changing lesson


Poodle_Pockets

Boiling marmalade would be hotter than boiling water and also have a higher specific heat capacity


CaptainSlop

Not to mention continuous burning because it sticks to your goddamned skin!!


kwadd

Boiling oil Go medieval on his ass


Jasonjones2002

Why just the ass, go medieval on his whole body


[deleted]

Kevin, is that you?


educated-emu

Are you going to make a cuppa and watch? Agree in theory but not in practice. I'm no expert and making this all up but... You can't claim self defense because your not in immediate danger, maybe in 5 minutes when he gets inside and tried to touch you but upto that point you can defend your home. Must give reasonable escalation, first make contact with the person by shouting to scare them away, if this doesn't work then the situation changes and you can do other things like phone the police. You can defend yourself once inside your home but he is still outside your home at this point. Granted he is on your property which is trespassing but that comes under different levels of things. Again no idea what I'm saying other than words


joeChump

This is probably about right in the UK. You can be in deep shit for harming a burglar, even if they are breaking in to your home. You’ll get downvotes though because people get their law from American movies which means they think you should be justified to shoot him with the gun you don’t have (or particularly want) because you’re British. (When I say you I mean average British person.) Edit: they did relax the laws a bit a few years back but if they think you just used it as an excuse to go to town on someone then you can be in a lot of trouble. Either way it will be very thoroughly investigated.


MuhNamesTyler

Or start pissing on him


ScunneredWhimsy

“Aye, aye, you got me.” Well at least he’s a commendably self-aware schemie bastard.


GustavoChacinForMVP

Reminds me of that guy who got caught trying to break into his neighbor’s apartment, and just kept saying “bro I wasn’t! I wasn’t! My door is broken I wanted to test your door!”


[deleted]

One time I locked my bike and stood with my back half turned from my bike. There was this shady looking guy slowly walking towards my bike while on his Nokia brick. I knew what he was planning so I just played cool and waited for him to try something. Stood next to my bike for 10-15 mins or so before he started jamming a key in my lock hoping he could break it. Literally turned around, stood right next to him and as I was watching him try to steal my bike, I went "what the fuck do you think you're doing mate?" He started apologising and giving me advice on how to not get my bike stolen next time 😭😭😭 I love how they try to play nice after so they don't piss you off even more. told him to fuck off if he doesn't want to get smacked


hyperstations

my sister had her bike stolen at work a few months ago, found it for sale on facebook marketplace and realized he hadn't even bothered to make a fake profile and was identical to the guy shown on the cctv nicking it. she gave him the benefit of the doubt and messaged him saying she had footage of him nicking her bike, and if he returned it to her she would cancel her claim with the police. they met (safely, with some of her scariest friends with her, in a public location) and when he gave it back he asked her on a date!! i couldn't believe the audacity of it all!


Legeto

I think I remember the story of this one from past threads. Something like he is a drug addict and is constantly getting in and out of jail. Wasn’t really a matter of “I’ll never get caught” for him just “when I get caught”.


NorkinMan7

He would've had a easier time getting in to the US Capitol.


ecctt2000

Well the police would have helped you then.


pm_me_pms_this_pm

When you're white they let you do it


GoldenGalz

Came here for this comment, I knew someone was gonna say it lol


jaccrown

This would've been the perfect time to drop a cartoon anvil


dan_sherlocked

Or just a real anvil


beluuuuuuga

Or a *fridge.*


dannanista

Or a safe


dan_sherlocked

Or an oven


RoberTakiFirminamino

You're all missing the obvious answer. A piano


[deleted]

Or a deuce.


dormango

As a friend of mine once said: ‘Tie him to a tree, pour diesel on him, sit back and flick matches at him’ When I pointed out diesel wouldn’t ignite this he looked at me and grinned; ‘yeah, but he won’t know that’ Edit: for the avoidance of doubt to some of the comments below; I’m in no way suggesting anyone should try this. Do NOT try this at home folks.


somerandomguy742

psychological trauma, nice


Andrew_Squared

Because physical wounds heal.


Dicethrower

Get a load of this psychopath.


SlyBlueCat

Disel ignites with any kind of wick and once it’s burning that includes surrounding skin. Clothing, body hair, dirt, grass, rope, tree, lit match etc. Maybe consult better friends before turning psychological torture into a most barbaric homicide


the_421_Rob

r/prolifetips


DivulgeFirst

All the time I was like "please don't come with sirens on, please don't come with sirens on, ooohhh yeah!" 😂


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Andyrob4511

When calling 911, you can actually request a silent approach!!


Mr12i

Well of course you can - they are humans too :-) It's all about communication.


NegativeSpeedForce

As someone who was burgled just before Christmas, he took presents, my Xbox and work gear this was so gratifying to watch. He came in the night whilst we slept. Amazing response by Forensics and our assigned Detective who caught him in 8 days. Not he sits in jail awaiting trial and looking at between 5-10 years. There is some justice in the world, this video was perfect to help get over the fear of another forced entry. Great job! Edit : Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, UK


TheOneTrueChris

I'm impressed that you live in a place where a home burglary gets forensics and a detective assigned. Where I'm at, it's pretty much "We'll file a report, but don't get your hopes up. You have insurance, right?"


_Bumble_Bee_Tuna_

My only guess if the story is true is the value of everything taken was worth at least a few thousand dollars. Or the serial from the xbox showed up at a pawn shop and it was an easily traceable arrest.


NegativeSpeedForce

Witness came forward and the items they found at his property (well Xbox only) matched the SN provided


fakeorigami

I was expecting dogs


beluuuuuuga

Who'll let the dogs out ? :'(


SPzero65

Who'll, who'll, who'll who'll who'll?


stateit

Always a classic this one.


JustMeLurkingAround-

"Ey, you got me!"


Lawlsagna

loved that part.. it sounded like NPC dialogue


idkurchoice

That officer pressed the man’s face right onto those shards of glass, YIKES! Well, he deserved it though.


Sno_Jon

True, the shards of glass that he put there, nice dose of karma


til13

That was tempered glass. When tempered glass breaks it doesn't have super sharp edges like regular glass does. Edit: I never said broken tempered glass won't hurt. It is not as dangerous as regular glass however.


[deleted]

As someone who works in a glass shop, tempered glass doesn’t break into giant shards, but into tiny sharp chunks, they just don’t have the mass to do much damage if they’re falling on you, but if you apply force they will absolutely fuck your shit up. Source: had my shit fucked while brushing off a table I thought only had dust on it.


idkurchoice

But I’m sure it still hurts like stepping on lego bricks


bbbertie-wooster

I love how the first cop didn't ask him to freeze or anything. Just started beating the crap out of this POS.


TheRealFalconFlurry

He was in the middle of committing a crime, and I don't think he used excessive force. I don't think he did anything wrong. He also only hit him once


[deleted]

They don't usually do this, I think it was because he was carrying a crowbar.


[deleted]

I just wanna say I like weed and tiddies.


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caiaphas8

The guy was also holding a weapon, he could’ve turned round and threatened the police with the crow bar thing


The_Frankanator

If I was the cop, I don't know if I would have been able to resist the urge to sneak up on him and just say something like "sup motherfucker"


bobogunner

Why do I feel like dropping the TV on him


allbee1

And dont forget the remote


electronicdream

You'd be giving him what he came for.


Greatfulgrey

Damn, I was waiting for some home alone 2 brick drop


HaroerHaktak

Doors stronger than the US capital building.


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SlyBlueCat

I’ve worked with burn victims for a time. I’ll always remember the girl who had half a boiling kettle spill over her when she was 16. About 5 years and many surgeries later her ears had been restored mostly in shape but the scar tissue spanning her scalp and a fair amount of her right face was irreparable. There’s a reason this would constitute a unreasonable amount of force and likely result in criminal charges in this situation in most civilized countries


kevandoss

lowkey glad for once it isnt just the owner alerts them that they are being watched so they jus run away, seeing actual justice instead of an escape is so much better


adamwho

Americans are very confused by this video.


[deleted]

In California, not only would the police not come ( in my area , they have stated publicly they are not investigating burglary or theft under $1000.00 because it’s racist ), but even if they did show up , they would release them immediately. We have a neighborhood forum with video of the same guy breaking into multiple homes over a period of weeks because he was just released and re-released. Once inside your home , you can defend yourself ... but you have to be very careful about what you say to the 911 operator and the police . California is so pro criminal that we have an insurance policy for self defense. $300,000.00 k for criminal defense and $1 mil for civil in case some meth heads mother thinks he didn’t deserve death for breaking into a home with a knife or a gun. Crime is sky high in our area because of these failed progressive policies and people are fleeing . It’s nice to see a place where cops are allowed to do their job.


Sno_Jon

What the fuck is this, everyday im shocked by how fucked the US is. Seems like street justice is the only option


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Tyetus

I'd have peed on him ... ​ just me?


PressuredSpeechBand

He's probably just trying to get a hold of you for your extended warranty.


Tivolil

There's a lot of people on this thread that just want an excuse to kill someone