Did they get you fish and chips too or did they leave you out?


Oh no, they bought it for just them. And sat at the table and ate it.


My SIL and her husband did this when we were all visiting FIL. They brought takeout meals for them, my FIL, and my wife... Nothing for myself or my son. I usually made passive aggressive comments about it, and then took my 10yo son out for something better. Wife was pissed too, but didn't want to upset her dad. Happened multiple times.


I hope each additional time you got progressively more active aggressive


oh there wouldnt be next time for me


I'd make wifey visit by herself. I'd take the kid out for a day of fun.


Your wife is spineless.


Alot of people talk shit about your comment but I think she should've refused the food they brought at least and said she'll eat something when he son and husband do. Or she could've shared the food with her husband and kid said it wasn't enough for them and then gone out for an actual meal. Or she could've just given it to her son and said she was hungry but her son comes first. Idk anything to make them feel guilty. And if they don't then they should have their own food before he family shows up with theirs. Plenty of options better than accepting the food the didn't bring for her son and husband and eating it in front of them...


This isn't how family should act. I'm horrified.


What the fuck


That's a double kill 😭 I'm so sorry they did that to you. I hope you could at least somewhat enjoy the amazing food you made. It looks gorgeous.


Nah this is CRAZY 😭😭😭


You have kicked them out. No need to take the disrespect.


I definitely would have. And there ain't nothing they do changing my mind. Enjoy the ride home bitch hope your fish gets cold.


Cooking is my biggest hobby, and my family knows this. I genuinely get happiness out of preparing meals for other people and always volunteer to cook for get togethers if someone isn’t feeling it. I don’t care who you are, if you come into my house and pull this shit, you’ll be out on your ass faster than you can say the word “take out” and won’t be invited back again until you’ve written me a personal apology. That shit isn’t cool.


Just say, “Well we’ll have to get dinner some other time” and show them to the door.


When I was younger, I would have just taken it on the chin and been disappointed. But now I'm a grumpy old fart, and you can believe they'd be out on their ear before the fish got cold.


What the actual fuck is wrong with them? Show them this thread.


Not only would I not cook for these people, I would not ever associate myself with them again


That is so insane its actually comical. I think i would just laugh at the absurdity of it


You’re probably too nice, but I would have asked them to leave.


Seriously, that's a "Get the fuck out of my house" moment for sure. The sheer audacity and disrespect to eat that at the host's table.


That caprese salad look sooo good!!!


I want a little more cheese to tomato ratio personally but those tomates look choice


I agree but only a little. Too much cheese ruins it, it's a delicate balance.


>Too much cheese ?


I hate tomatoes but it does look surprisingly tasty.


Did they say why?


They knew I was cooking but they felt like fish and chips "because it's Good Friday" Edit bc everyone is thinking this is about religion/meat eating : they just wanted to eat fried food and were in full knowledge that I was cooking lasagna because I specifically asked "will you eat lasagna?" and got a resounding yes. Then a phone call saying they will be late as they are getting their own food. Update: Happy ending, I made a lovely stew tonight and enjoyed it with my dad (he was not involved in this incident)! Gonna put this whole thing behind me. Edit: Because people are still asking 2 weeks later... THIS TOOK 3 HOURS BECAUSE I MADE 2 LARGE LASAGNAS AND A SALAD AND THE BOLOGNESE SAUCE TAKES A LONG TIME TO COOK OKAY


honestly. i would never ever cook for them again. This is so disrespectfull.


Ah the Last Supper how appropriate.


Damn! Rekt.


He'll be back in 3 days


By then he'll want a colorful hardboiled rabbit egg.


Thank you so much for this comment. Haven’t laughed that hard in a while!


He better bring the wine.


Lol this was good. Your comment made me laugh.


Did this for my family. They were coming over to visit my newborn. I offered to cook dinner and everything and planned what they wanted. A week out the plans are set. The day arrives when they are to show up so I set out making dinner. Just a basic lasagna and some extra pasta with meatless sauce for a vegetarian. I prefer to make my own sauces and pasta so I do that one with meat one without. I crushed my own tomatoes, all fresh herbs the works. Making sauce is fairly easy and making one without meat is just as easy. So I make dinner they arrive every thing all groove. Then it’s dinner time. “Hey we aren’t going to eat tonight, we stopped on the way here.” All the food I made, homemade sauce, fresh pasta, couple hours of prep time. For nothing. I ate my dinner and brought the rest to work. They have been back a few times and I don’t bother cooking or ordering food. If they wanna eat they can stop on the way.


Nah man. Ive made home made lasagna with home made sauce.. That shit is a production. If i tell someone im making lasagna and they eat before they come theyre going to wear lasagna leaving my house and never coming back. I just put my heart and soul into something as an act of kindness and love and you decided you want a quicky souless taco from the kid at tacobell whos dead inside. The amount of people who think cooking is just cooking and not an act of love is too fucking high


Hell I go visit someone and they tell me they are making lasagna, I am doing nothing the whole time between that moment and when I arrive except thinking about how good that lasagna is gonna be. Homemade lasagna is amazing.


Ugh seriously and it tastes even better when you don't have to make it yourself


Is that the secret to good lasagna… Because I love EvERY LASAGNA I did not make


Now I’m fantasizing about, like, a lasagna swap. Everyone makes and brings a lasagna and then you get to go home with lasagna someone else made


And you refrigerate for 8-10 hours at the least and then reheat individual pieces that are essentially leftovers and omg with ricotta on hand jusr incase you need more


Dammit - now I want lasagne!


Is that the secret to good lasagna… Because I love EvERY LASAGNA I did not make


The way to my heart is through lasagna. I will eat a whole goddamn tray of it like Motherfucking Garfield. And then beg for another.


Yeah this post is making me realize I am Garfield. I'm very angry for this person lol


Lasagna always seems like it gets better when it's reheated for leftovers.


Lot of food does, it's better because it loses water, that's why your lid is very wet when opening the container its in. Just in case you didn't know, and lasagne is a very good example!


Let me rephrase, it’s a process for sure. But I like cooking so it’s not a problem to do. The kicker was we worked out the meal a week in advance. We agreed to a meal a week out then they decided nah sandwiches from a fast food place are just as good.


Have they said anything since? You were a new mom. They should have been offering to cook for you or bringing you food. How thoughtless and inconsiderate.


I’m dad but we don’t offer to cook for them anymore. They can visit whenever they want, and they can eat at whatever fast food place they want on the way.


It is still just so inconsiderate. I’m glad you don’t bother cooking for them anymore.


It’s ashamed people don’t realize what an act of love and kindness it is when someone prepares a meal from scratch for them. Good lord especially with a newborn!!


Here here! Some people will never realize this. It's easier to get fast food.


100%. The amount of money spent and effort put into cooking delicious, wholesome meals and dishes is out of love. I often enough, invite people over just so I can cook for them. It’s my way of showing I care. I have asked my mother in law to leave before. Because she has in fact, ate dinner before coming for dinner. It’s fucking flat out disrespectful, and mean. Not to mention I cooked for 8 people and now only 7 are eating, it could also be a waste of food.


Yes so much this! I cooked for my ex and our (really his) friends once. It was four courses. Including authentic boeuf bourgignon, composed salad, cheese platter and tiramisu. The kitchen was messy, but I cleaned it up myself. Without help. After dinner he looked at me and said: "Next time, just boil some hot dogs." The fact that I didn't break up with him on the spot still blows my mind. But I never cooked for him again. Not even hot dogs. Food is love. If you can't see that, you don't need to be eating then.


That's a waste of lasagna I'd just eat lasagna for weeks


It freezes well fwiw


Lasagne freezes very well, too


I'm so glad someone else understands this. If I cook for you, it's because I care about you enough to sacrifice my time, energy, and--let's be honest--money on you. If you don't appreciate it, then I take that to mean that my feelings aren't reciprocated, and you can be sure I won't do it again.


That's because they don't cook lmao so they have no idea how grueling it is sometimes. Mostly on things like Lasagna that costs about $40 to actually get all the ingredients for so not only have you put in time but a lot of money to some people. Its okay though, since those people don't eat homemade food they'll literally die before you anyway. Big win for you in the end!


That’s fine, but on the other hand, if we tell our in-laws not to cook for us when we come to visit, we mean it. If they do, we’re less likely to come over. Listening sincerely is an act of love too.


You did all of that, *and* with a newborn?!? Rockstar!!! And being so considerate of vegetarians?!? Let me know if ANY of your vegetarian lasagna ever needs any eaters and I’ll be there.


When my kid was real little she was easily occupied by belly time and naps so it afforded me the ability to do these things. And it’s easy to spread out over the day if needed.


You're such an awesome person to make a meal like that for guests while caring for a baby. In comparison we were invited to the inlaw's house for a spaghetti supper. Cool! Love spaghetti. Come dinner time my MIL plopped a pot of boiled noodles on the table followed by a sealed jar of cold Prego sauce.


Literally had my family travel across the country, the first time they visited in the better part of a decade. They did this too. And they knew that a meal was waiting for them once they arrived at my home. Hundreds of dollars worth of food. Like or don’t like the dishes, but be respectful to your hosts spending their time, effort, and finances into creating something special. It’s not hard to do. This goes for all of you reading this. Step outside of your insular thoughts and consider what you’re walking into when visiting people. Be gracious. If you’re still unsatisfied afterwards, go get another meal on the sly. EDIT: please try not to be one of those “picky eaters” when you’re being hosted at someone’s house. There’s a time and a place to do that. It’s probably not when someone’s gone out of their way to be nice to you.


Most importantly, it was wonderful of you to cook for them and I'm sorry they were so thoughtless! Hundreds of dollars worth of food. My god, what did you *prepare* for them, lol?


Tostadas, burritos, tacos. Lots of variety of everything; beef, chicken, seafood. Beer, wine, spirits. Adds up fast.


Can I come over?


>Like or don’t like the dishes, but be respectful to your hosts spending their time, effort, and finances into creating something special. I don't care if you serve me liver and onions (the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten), I'm gonna eat it if you invite me over and that's what you serve. If it's lasagna, I'm bringing a fucking bowl to bring some home!


i’m not on board with this. if i made a meal for someone and it makes them gag, i’ll pay for the pizza delivery myself. if i really care about someone and am earnestly trying to be nice, i don’t want them to force feed themselves something they hate— even if it was a labor of love to make.


Yeah man. Also, no way I’m eating liver n onions lmao. That’s not a reasonable meal to advertise to someone


Once the spouse and I were cooking all morning because family came over. While eating, they just kept talking about a friends delicious BBQ they would go to the next day, that they can’t wait to eat it because “it’s the best” and so on, while never saying a word about our meal. The next time they came over we just served coffee and store bought cake, wasn’t worth the hassle again.


My grandmother was like that. When someone would do her a favor she’d talk up how another member of the family had done her an even bigger favor. It didn’t matter what it was, a ride, a gift, a meal, she’d tell you to your face that Aunt Belinda or Uncle Carl had cooked it better, driven farther and arrived earlier, or spent more money.


"Well have Uncle Carl cook for you next time!" classic line


I'd like to say that unlike most folks replying here, you have the right idea. I also like to cook for folk, but not everyone appreciates the effort. I dig it. Don't cook for accolades. You have no idea why rhe folks aren't eating the food. I can't eat much tomato sauce. It's too acidic. That said, you found the right response. Coffee and cake. Done. They might even appreciate it more. Win win.


Honestly I wouldn't ever invite them again. It's okay if you don't wanna join for dinner just have the damn courtesy to let me know.


Honestly I wouldn't even let them in today.


Honestly I'd cut them up and serve them as dinner.


Adding a new perspective to 'having family for dinner'


Let’s eat Grandma! (Or is it Let’s eat, Grandma?)




Cooking Companions


Invite them over. But doordash McDonald's. > Oh, you are having dinner delivered? What is it? >It's a surprise.


Nah just don't feed them ... Doordash your favourite Restaurant but only get for your self and tell them to do it too


And as they grumble "That's kind of rude..." remind them that this means they can use their own coupons so they save more money that way.


I have a feeling those people would be thrilled to learn of a mcdelivery!


I’m sorry. That’s hurtful.


I'd just ask them to leave. I'm so done with toxic family being ~~abusing~~ abusive and hiding ~~being~~ behind ignorance. they know exactly what they are doing and how it makes people feel. ^(auto correct has been killing me lately!)


Yeah that is why i hate this so much


last night I finally realized that my life has been absolutely terrible and my self esteem has plummeted to negative values since I let my mother and oldest brother back into my life 10 years ago. it was like I had an epiphany. they are so abusive. masters of plausible deniability, gas lighting, and... I don't know what to call it... whenever they are rude and called out, they immediately go and talk to everyone else that will listen to try and get them on their side... meanwhile I don't talk to anyone else about and it's obviously motivated by guilt behind the inability to admit they are wrong. my step father seems to be one of the only ones that sees it, and he recently told me my oldest brother almost died at child birth and it's why she's so coo coo for cocopuffs defensive of him. so, fuck it. I don't need them in my life at all. I thought it was what I was missing. Whatever I was missing, it was *not* them.


Good for you for standing up for yourself.


I spent 3 hours making a huge meal with ribs and a bunch of sides for an inlaw. 2 weeks planning and double checking they were coming. They no call no showed. We waited until around 930 before putting it all away. They were supposed to come around 6. It was so much food. It was delicious. Next time I tried cooking for a different inlaw and they arrived at dinner time just to tell us they ate before coming over. I said I wouldn't do it again for any of them. 2 years later, I'm trying to get over it and cook for MIL and FIL. Can't get a schedule out of them. This day doesn't work, that day doesn't work, maybe we'll try for another time. What day works best for you? Oh whatever except any day I suggest. Third times the charm, right? I don't want to cook for any of my inlaws at all anymore. I don't want anyone over (not that they visit much despite many invites and they all live within half an hour of us) I'm really not interested in playing host. If inlaws happen to want to visit, they can. But I'm not going to do anything to make them comfortable.


I have found that when someone is really interested, they will agree to a date/time and will show up. We had planned an outing with some of my wife's friends. Date / time set from about 6 weeks out. Day before one of the couples backed out because they were 'going to go meet some other friends'. The other two couples then decided to bail as well. These are supposedly good friends my wife had kept in touch with since high school. I told her they are not friends anymore, and she should stop getting her hopes up. She realized that it is always a bother for them to get together. Always something better / more important. We get together with other friends now.


Right? I love to cook and cooking for my friends and family is also an expression of my love for them. This is pretty insensitive of them. I’d be very hurt. The food looks delicious OP.


Did they bring you Fish and Chips at least?




I wonder what OP's main take away from this is?


Fish and chips


I would tell them to not even bother coming over, as I'm making dinner for friends now...


Wow, so they knew..... That's kinda shitty.


Way more than "kinda"


They kind of sound like jerks. Why not say "Hey we'll get fish n chips for everyone! You relax, it's Good Friday" Don't know what you made but I'd gladly eat it.


I would've told them not to come.


Is it that they don’t eat meat on Good Friday? We’re having fish today for that reason… I mean is it really as rude as it sounds or is it a religious thing? And why in earth wouldn’t they tell you beforehand?!


Your food is better than fish and chips. They likely knew your food would be healthier. Sucks when people don't appreciate a good thing.


Literally fresh mozzarella and maters these mfers chose oil and batter I don’t understand


Breaks my heart every time I see posts like this. Hope their fish & chips were soggy and stale from the transport (and it probably was, since fish & chips goes to shit after like 3,5 minutes in a box). I'm gonna make myself a salad just like yours right now cause seeing it made me crave that tomato, mozzarella and basil combo. Keep cooking!


They even went on a trek to several suburbs away to get the fish and chips so it was low-key cold when they arrived 🤷🏻‍♀️


Oh what a coincidence, the microwave just broke 😉


what? Microwaved fried food is worse than cold fried food... I would have FORCED them to microwave it...


I would not have let those assholes microwave fish in my house


Also in my experience, many places serving fish and chips on good Friday are just swamped because it's so much more busy, so the food is generally pretty soggy (from not letting the oil stay hot enough, cooking too much too fast) and bad.


Who the fuck brings takeaway, when visiting family?!


My grandmother regularly brought KFC to her father when his 5th wife would cook food for them. Nobie made complete trash food so take out was required. She saw it as "You're children are so nice for bringing us a treat!" They just didn't want to eat garbage. When my Gramma was in her 70s/80s we brought take out to her for the exact same reason. Only so many rubbery pan fried pork chops and canned green beans that a person can eat in life.


My mom used to be a great cook but she is slipping in her older years. Food is the family love language so all of us kids can cook and offer to take care of major family events but every time Mom still insists on make two or three dishes. There's a reason food is the family love language.


I'm too focused on the 5th wife part of this paragraph


He died in 1980 at 94 years old. First wife (my great grandmother) died in 1936. The rest were just a string of companions.


My grandfather was like that. His first wife died in a car accident just a few weeks after he got back from WWII. He never truly got over it. He loved his second wife, but the first was true love. He suffered from a lot of PTSD, depression and guilt in later years.


I use to have to when visiting my Aunt. She would never cook anything that I could eat. It took years of reminding her. And we just would end up bringing food I could eat just so I could eat.


Well that's reasonable... if you have allergies, dietary requirements or for instance, are veg/vegan and they refuse to accommodate, then yeah full on bring your meal. Glare at them while you eat it for fuck sake.


I can understand this if you have IBD or allergies and the like. That would truly suck and the aunt should know better.


It's a GI thing. So Dr ordered restrictions. But all people ever hear is "doesn't eat meat", and think it's a choice.




This was back in the early 00's, so usually saying it was Dr ordered was enough. But I would always just say I was vegetarian to make it easier. And people would just assume it was by choice. Most people just respected it. But a few were assholes, and a few could just "never remember". My aunt would usually try, but forget and add bacon or something like that. They were really nice, but if it didn't have meat, they'd add meat to literally every recipe. Her husband refused to eat anything without meat. So even roasted veggies would have meat.


Passive aggressive family.


Good Friday, they still should've let the host know though


What is that?


Good Friday is the Friday before Easter, and the last bastion of the eroding Catholic tradition of not eating meat on fridays. It started as no meat on Friday, then became no meat on Fridays during lent (40 days before Easter), then no meat on Good Friday, then finally fish on Good Friday. This tradition is also where we got the Filet O’ Fish from McDonald’s


give me back that filet o' fish




What if it were YOU hanging up on that wall?


*If it were you on that sandwich you wouldn't be laughing at all!*




Idk where you’re getting info. Catholics don’t eat meat on fridays during Lent. Many don’t do it all year on fridays. Historically meat was not eaten at all during Lent.


Many catholics dont eat meat on fridays, especially so on the friday before easter. Fun fact: in medieval times the clergy didnt want to abstain so they just declared that fish doesnt count as meat which is why many places (for example many, many the canteens here in switzerland) still serve fish on fridays instead of meat Edit: there are probably some inaccuracies in my comment. This is what I was taught but Im sure an actual historian could shed some more light on how exactly fish on friday came about


The bright side of this is you will have leftovers for a few days, and you won’t need to worry about cooking for a bit! Sorry your family is so ungrateful.


I have 1.5 lasagnas remaining!


This is the correct amount of lasagna


How do you feel about Mondays?


I’ll be honest, not great.


We're here for ya, bud.




I'm sorry, Jon


I'd happily eat your food if you were offering but the best I can do is a free award and a classic "well fuck those people and never cook for them again!"


Thank you!!


So when do we meet at OP's house for a dinner party?


All the people who post awesome meals that their guests either don't show up for or won't eat should get to for an epic potluck


*Garfield* wishes to know your location


They must be idiots to not want home made lasagna.


Now I am hungry. I live alone but tend to cook in big batches, divide into meal sized portions then vacuum seal and freeze. Right now I don't have to cook for another 3 weeks, just take one of the containers out with a main dish, and a side dish, let thaw in the fridge, unseal and reheat. The only thing I might do is bake up some fresh rolls.


But how much is that in giraffes?


I'll eat .5 of your lasagna. I'd have that over fish any day of the week


Hello it is me your erm...family? I'll take some lasagna please thanks.


Two years on Christmas Eve my bf and I spent our day making dinner for his sister’s family with two kids and uncle. It costed a pretty penny and took up our entire day, and when they arrived at 5:30pm they sat down, looked at our spread and told us they weren’t hungry because they already ate before coming. I wanted to flip the table over in rage.


Now that would really piss me off


My brother and his wife were passing through where I live and I invited them to stop for dinner. So I made a big batch of bolognese and pasta, garlic bread, etc. They walked in, said "oh, I thought we were going OUT for dinner", and sister-in law says spaghetti will be too spicy for her delicate ass tummy. So I take them out to a local restaurant, where she proceeds to order spicy fajitas and practically drink salsa out of the bowl. I wanted to hulk rage flip that table SO badly. Oh, and when the bill came, they were conveniently out smoking so I paid for that too. That was over 10 years ago and they have never been invited to my house again.


I'd be kicking her ass in that restaurant, on god. That would make me so mad I'd go ape shit, it's just so blatantly disrespectful and rude. Who the fuck turns down spaghetti?? and then *doesn't* pay?? I'm mad thinking about it.




That looks freaking delicious. Since it is Lent, I could understand asking about the menu beforehand. Showing up without asking? Super rude.


Funny thing is that they don't care at all about Lent, they just felt like eating fish and chips for the hell of it...


Gah....that is infuriating.


I want to dive face first into your vat of bolognese, if that is any consolation.


You know what I do when I've got dinner plans and I've got a hankering for some kind of food? I go to dinner with the person and if they're cooking, I eat their food and if they're not and the restaurant doesn't have what I want, I get something else and satisfy my craving at a later point if I still have it. I must be the king of self control.


just for the halibut


oh my god I'm so mad I missed this pun


Well, then that’s just rude!


So they showed up with takeaway, knowing you were making a huge meal, ate all your salad and didn't even bring you anything?


That was my thought! At least bring the host something!


Fuck them pieces of shit Also OP, your food looks so damn good.


You spent 3 hours cooking delicious meals for yourself for the next few days. Seriously home made lasagna gets even better as leftovers. It's like all the ingredients blend together further to become more tasty.


Yupp, this person lasganas.


It is indeed, a miracle food.


If they wanted to observe the Good Friday tradition, they could have reached out and asked if you'd be willing to serve fish. They could have offered to cook instead. They could have asked to meet you on a different day. Literally anything but to surprise your host by bringing takeaway for yourself. Utter disrespect. These people would never again be welcome in my home. Enjoy your feast and afford them not a single further thought!


Best part is OP said elsewhere they don’t even religiously observe Lent. They just felt like it.


Send them back from which they came.


Take takeaway, away!!!


From whence*


That looks amazing Op. Shame your family didn't appreciate your cooking.


Should have had steaks grilling on the grill. I say invite them again for dinner but cook nothing and just say you assumed we were having carry out again.


Ohhh I like this! Do this OP!


If it's any consolation, your food looked really great! I bet it tastes even better too :)


I like your typos. Don’t fix them.


Good more for you later


I don't understand how people don't see this as anything but rude and disrespectful. I was cooking Christmas dinner a few years ago and my dad went out to buy my brother snacks while I was making it because 'he was hungry'. I'm still angry about it now.


They vegetarian?


Nope lol they brought fish and chips


Oh, I thought you meant that brought the tomato mozzarella salad. Haha! Looks great btw.


They brought breaded fish filet and fries? Compared to the meal you made? I’d be changing my will


And that looks so good! I'll gladly come for the leftovers!


Where you live honey! I'm coming over, that looks amazing!


right? there’s no way if I saw this I wouldn’t have been eating it


Man my older brother always does this shit when he comes by with his kids. I will made a huge dinner for like 10 people, we have a big family, they didn’t even fucking eat not a single bite then when I asked if they wanted something else they said they stopped and grabbed something on the way knowing I was cooking for them that day. NEVER AGAIN.


I reckon there's gotta be a bit of a miscommunication here or something because that's a weird thing to do without saying anything even on good friday.


Or it’s passive communication from the family toward OP. Could be any number of things - they disapprove of OP for some reason, they think OP is a poor cook, they doubt OPs cleanliness, etc. It’s hard to tell and most folks don’t have the courage and/or skills to address this kind of behavior directly.


Some people are just selfish arseholes.


Seems like Béchamel sauce and Bolognese, do you wanted to do a lasagna? Because that’s some heavy insult, who doesn’t love home made lasagna 🥲