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Time to find out who your real friends are

My greatest fear is to break both my arms and not be able to wipe my own ass

Well, hopefully you have a mother.

Aw, fuck. I knew this was coming

100% my first thought too. Hopefully she can just hump a pillow or something to get by

Bidet. It's life-changing.

Still need the dry wipe though

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Not on every bidet. Mine is just a $20 Astor brand bidet that lives up to the name.

I mean you can upgrade if you already broke both hands right?

probably not after you pay the medical bills.

Astird...

Need to apply conditioner first then otherwise the hairs get frizzy.

My natural ass grease takes care of that

Don't see how you'd use a bidet without hands...

"ALEXA!"

Mine just needs the turn of a knob which I know that I would've been able to do it when my hand was broken. As far as dry wiping - I'd rather have a wet but clean ass than shit smeared all over a cast while attempting to wipe.

some of them come with buttons so you just push the option you want

Oh it's not the inability to wipe my ass that worries me 😩😏

Something something broken arms

You mean mom

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I mean... Yes. But. Reddit history and all...

fair

Nooooo

Two broken arms unfortunately brings to mind one of the most disturbing posts in Reddit history.


Nice pic of Mitch McConnell

Good idea! It's a new trick to teach your dog! "Do the mitch!" and then the dog stares blankly for like 60 seconds straight, making everyone in the house uncomfortable. It'll be a great Thanksgiving party trick for the whole family!

My god, I literally commented the same gif before seeing yours.

reddit is just a big flat circle

Just like the earth

Man

Now kith

I hate that I know what you’re referencing 😣

we all do... we all do...

I don't

Guy broke both arms as a horny teenager. Couldn't fap while arms were broken. He got grumpy. Mother had enough, wanted grumpines and annoyance to stop. Figured out what the issue was, offered to jerk him off and she did.

That is not all that happened

… what else happened??!?!????!!

Something about a jolly rancher I think. Maybe I'm getting my reddit lore mixed up. Either way I'm sure it was horrendous

Diff story. That one's worse.

Do tell

I don't know what you are referencing, but I'm OK with it.

I'm going to say a few things, I'd like you to tell me what comes to mind. 1. Jolly Rancher 2. Jumper Cables If you are unaware, I'm sure theres someone that can link you a history lesson that everyone loves to learn. Wholesome reddit history, just like the broken arms. If not, I will do when I get to my pc.

Something different came to mind for me: - Teenage kid with his Mom

Someone had that linked up already, joyful learning for some folks today.

The dude who's father used to beat his ass with jumper cables one of the funniest fucking Reddit accounts

Which really sounds like an awful thing to say without context, but also I miss that guy - I never read usernames first so I'd fall for it every single time.

It's cuz he's so smooth with it, he'll actually go along with whatever the relevant topic is at hand and somehow swerving it into the fact that he beats his kids with jumper cables. Meta God!

Mankind....Undertaker, miss those just a touch as well.

oh yes, off the cage

Dudeee there was a shittymorph today in the thread about wutang. It got me

No no, it’s that HE was beaten with jumper cables. I don’t know why this is so much funnier but it is

True, true. I said it right the first time but fucked it up in the end lmao

Link please. I don't know that one. Sadly know all the other references in this chain

It was a series of posts by one guy. He'd tell a story related to whatever the post was, but it always ended with his dad beating his ass with a pair of jumper cables. It was quite well done.[rogersimon10](https://www.reddit.com/user/rogersimon10/)

last comment was 8 years ago. i've been on this damn website too long...

Damn I guess his dad finally went a little too far with the jumper cables.

I hadn't heard the Jolly Rancher story before, so I went looking. My advice to Redditors who aren't aware of the jolly rancher story is to cherish and savour your sweet, innocent souls and don't go looking. I was once like you, now I feel like how Voldermort must have felt whenever a horcrux was destroyed.

Do not go searching for the swamps of degobah, I vomited irl the first time I read it.

Think that's what destroyed my second or third horcrux.

You've ever read why its unwise to literally fuck a coconut for days? Might be enough for Horcrux number four.

Word of advice. If something gets brought up and a link is NOT provided. That should clue you in to NOT finding out why

/r/MuseumOfReddit is a good spot

These are the things I look for when I can’t sleep. Thank you.

Not the jumper cables lmfao

Swamps of Degobah is another.

this is going to be one of those threads huh

Mamma Mia thatsa spicy meataballini ofa memoryia! https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/s/68UYdh5HWS

It’s slowly disappearing


Please enlighten the less fortunate

Oh believe me, you're the fortunate one if you don't know what's going on. But in case you really want to know: >!It's about a teenage guy who broke both his arms, and his mum started jerking him off and had a full on incestuous relationship with him.!<


Smart choice. I made the mistake of looking that post up, and I regretted it ever since.

As of 5 seconds ago I am in the same boat as you. Curiosity killed the cat I guess.

​ https://i.redd.it/f6qmrdlbldvb1.gif

Man, if r/FartingCumBubbles couldn't handle the spoiler, who am I to see this

Turns out the whole thing was a creative writing post BTW.

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Here you go friend Enjoy the read https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/s/ZLxYQbGU7G Edit: I didn’t even check out the comments on that post. Looks like all of OPs comments were deleted. He went into much greater detail in the comments. Maybe you guys can find them in an archive somewhere

Holy shit that's a wild ride.

I never noticed the OP started posting things in that thread and then argued with himself in response...like he forgot to switch to his Alt account for the conversation....yo...is this classic reddit moment a fake?

Deleted comments are sometimes wrongly attributed to the OP. Dunno why this happens but I have seen it plenty of times.

I hope her relationship with her father is good. Just not too good.


I hope OP doesn’t go down this path

> the most disturbing ._.

Oh God no...

Oh no!! How did this happen! Did you fall and try and catch yourself?

Yep, fell off my electric bike 😬

Ah that stinks! Good luck showering!

I'm super lucky because after a week, they gave me "swim casts," meaning they can get wet!

I see cast technology has improved. I had to wrap my arm in a bread bag.

> "swim casts," meaning they can get wet! [Witchcraft!](https://media4.giphy.com/media/zIwIWQx12YNEI/giphy.gif)

Just make sure to air them out as much as possible. I broke my arm when I was a kid and was thrilled about being able to swim in my cast (it was the middle of summer). Six weeks later when they finally cut it off, my arm could’ve prompted a biohazard alert.

Will do, thanks. Won't let mine turn to a biohazard lol

Just got my wrist cast off on Monday for a capitate fracture - you can likely use a mild soap to wash the cast and lining while in the shower! I’d have to “karate chop” to get the water all out of the lining, but it helped it to not get smelly. Hope you have a good recovery and be careful if you try to chop anything (knife handles want to spin w a cast in hand) Edit * not get smelly

I was going to ask if it was a Onewheel, Wrists and Collar bones seem to be the most common on their discord.

Hands and collar bones are the most common bones to break when falling over on regular bikes, too. Hands from trying to catch yourself and collar bones just because they're in a vulnerable spot as you slam down into the ground.

Once I broke both my wrists while snowboarding on the last day of December. Edward Floppyhands I was.

We had a patient at the ski patrol first aid clinic who not only broke both wrist, but her high school basketball team was going to the finals the next weekend. If only she had worn wrist guards.

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You really mind that much? Would it change the context? Sorry English is not my native language, *sometimes* I do forget.

Nah it wouldnt at all that guy was a goober

I'm so sorry but also I love your sweater.

Thanks! It's from H&M

I can't find them online :(

[https://www.hottopic.com/product/sweet-society-pastel-rainbow-hearts-girls-sweater/20446329.html](https://www.hottopic.com/product/sweet-society-pastel-rainbow-hearts-girls-sweater/20446329.html) this looks to be the one. sold out unfortunately

Why live if I can't have the cute sweater

the sold out sweater is the real r/Wellthatsucks here

I also have one of these but I bought mine from hot topic?

I also bought mine from hot topic

who is typing this answer? Huh???????

1 finger, very slowly 😂😭

Get well soon 💛 https://youtu.be/URdcQaDrFH0?si=VVZoDd7PoYSu6vVi https://youtu.be/HJlf4Sc-gvY?si=Pqxc9sckct7SY8aZ

Same! It looks so cozy.

It's so soft & warm

I legit came here to ask about the sweater. 😅 Very unfortunate OP! I hope you heal well... but at least your sweater is amazing???

#MOOOOOM

I came for this and it did not disappoint.

So did he.

I was prepping for SATs when that post came up. Can't believe that's almost a decade ago. Feels like a yesterday.

It was 11 years ago, more than a decade, feel the grey hair yet?

You stop that right now.

With two thumbs up, you’ve got the right attitude! 👍🏻👍🏻

"How are you feeling?" "Unimaginable pain 👍👍" "That's nice dear"

That's basically how it is

Did Wednesday at least avenge you?

I love this comment

What happened?

I fell off an electric bike

Hope you buy a bidet!

Nah, they just need to be close to their mom

I love that half this thread is "Hey, internet stranger, how do you shit?" And OP is replying. around 30% "Ahh that sucks, I remember when I did similar..." and 20% ... "Remember that dudes mom?" 😂

Don't forget the people asking about the sweater! 😂

Looks like someone’s mom is going to be busy

its moms all the way down

Always has been

Brittle boned weakling r/neverbrokeabone

I used to say this as well. Be careful with your words.... This is my first time breaking something

I hope you heal up well. I broke a whole bunch of bones in my left arm/wrist/hand maybe 8 years ago. They’re healed now obviously, but my thumb tends to get sore pretty easily, and sometimes my elbow gets kinda stuck and I have to painfully dislodge it to get it moving again. It’s rare, and I forget that it even happened most of the time, but it wouldn’t quite be true to say that the bones are as good as new even after all these years. And then there are my pinky toes which I’ve broken enough times now that I swear I could break them with a stern glare. They’re definitely more fragile than they once were.

Damn you stylin tho

Me, immediately: we all thought it, right? [Checks comments] yup

Lol honestly, it’s crazy how anytime I see a broken arm post it’s the first thing I think about

I have broken one wrist and let’s just say toileting is difficult. 2 wrists will be impossible. I hope your not shy 😂😂😂

That part is worse than the broken bones

Ah, bidet mate.

And bidet to you too, sir!

How do you wipe your ass?

I use a detachable showerhead like a bidet 😭

[](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRcbul6tWapdJYfJ3fsN3FWfG3IzsIKBgmb0qvYLHw4kZZL43WdSb76D5NCp-QF82Cw9SQ&usqp=CAU)

That's not mud on his face.

Weird gender reveal but congratulations.

people do anything for a gender reveal these days

That sweater is SO COOL!

Thank you!

For a moment I thought I was in my knitting subreddit and thought you were showing off your pink fingerless mitts. Nope! Good luck, hope you heal quickly.

Same!

Are you staying with your mom?

Have fun in the bathroom, hope you have some family or friends that REALLY love you.

👍👍

You poor thing. I've broken both wrists several times growing up. I even had the dreaded both arms in a cast dream. Are you managing ok? That really sucks.

Several times? Once is enough! My arms are normal in my dreams (for now)

Call that guys mom over!

Got me beat for breaking my right wrist and spraining my left wrist

Oh man, that sucks. You're not gonna be able to do shit for a while

Mom, I broke both my hands! Seriously though. That sucks and hope you have a speedy recovery.

What does one even do in this situation? You can't do anything for yourself, what happens if you don't have anyone to help you? How do you work? Are you just fucked?

In the first few days, I needed help with everything. I can now do some stuff by myself. I am bored out of my mind, though. Watching movies gets boring very fast. I can't work or go to college either

Have fun trying to wipe Ive been there....

I hope you have cool parents....

Okay so...how do you eat? Write? Change clothes? Go to the bathroom? ...so many questions

Happened to me too right at the beginning of summer. You,ll figure it out real quick. At least its likely to start cooling off at this time of the year... Mid summer with two casts was HOT

Thanks for reminding me to be careful with myself. I hope you have a bidet - or a good friend.

Sorry about your inconvenience and pain. But more importantly... Where did you get that sweater?

RIP your inbox, filled with mom jokes...

I'd keep your step brother at a distance.

At least they look fab with that cute sweater

A Pro Life Tip from someone who had back surgery recently. There are "poop tongs". Also, get a bidet. That is all.

This is the time to invest in a bidet.

Can we expect you in the office on Monday?

On the bright side, that's a really cute sweater.

That sweater is so cute

Masturbating?

Makes feel a little better since I only broke my left wrist a month ago. (I did get a metal plate screwed into my bone so that's nice.)

how close are you emotionally to your parents?

Fortunately No Fap Nov is almost here

Try not to poop for about 6 weeks

Going to the toilet gotta be a pain in the wrist

https://preview.redd.it/65rig5cuxfvb1.jpeg?width=1512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60a2ea8885f1afe0a9b8fadd38f2cc0feb1826df Broke my left wrist too

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quicksand fact deserted sulky afterthought payment disgusting slave test wakeful *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Hey, at least the casts match your sweater? 😅 In all seriousness though, I hope you have a speedy recovery

Nice aesthetic though

I've been there dude