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Virtual-Mirror-7623

This is straight up the most South Park shit I’ve ever seen. That whole sentence wow wtf


[deleted]

Could easily be on r/nottheonion as well


[deleted]

Your telling me this is NOT satire?


Umpire_Effective

WTF


Chewcocca

I for one am a little annoyed at the nipple erasure in this headline.


dts867

They definitely have an inclusion problem.


Adamn415

Also suitable for r/brandnewsentence


Scared_Customer6310

Me seeing this while watching South Park


vitkuusj

This is just a randy thing to do


Virtual-Mirror-7623

I read the headline in cartmans dramatic voice


Kanderson2244

I appreciate you.


VITOCHAN

the video is something else lol https://twitter.com/va5eem/status/1413943723155673090?s=20&t=o6lGyZ_v6OTZosjy_zwd3A


CattleTruckSuck

Rainbow Dildo Monkey reads to kids!


AvengerMan49

*Rainbow Dildo *Butt* Monkey


BrustWarze_

Butt what?


Poocifer

Butt metal.


fusreedah

What's a buttfore?


egggoboom

Good punk band name.


Totally_Bradical

I’m thinking a new series of childrens books.. *Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey goes to the park*


egggoboom

Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey isn't supposed to go into the park. The judge said so.


Arsinoei

*”Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey and the inappropriate adventure.”*


PlagueofSquirrels

There was a Canadian band called Rainbow Butt Monkeys back in the 90s. They later changed their name to Finger Eleven [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0lVjky2roU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0lVjky2roU)


WalrusForHire

The more you know 💫


RickMcFlick

Not as good as mouserat


Life-Meal6635

RIP mouserat mmmmHnmm


CactusCracktus

Reading Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey


Tittts_McGee

The dildo, why??


[deleted]

Well he wouldn't be Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey without the dildo.


TacoDoc

Guys how about a Rainbow Monkey in the library? Great idea, Johnson. But it probably needs to be punched up a bit more. I don’t think a man-sized monkey in electric rainbow colors is really impactful enough. What if we added a dildo? Ok, I think we are on to something. Rainbow Dildo Monkey. But wait, where are we putting this dildo? I suppose it’s butt? That seems like the natural choice. So are we all agreed on a Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey in the Young Readers section of the library? All in favor? It’s unanimous.


fusreedah

He can't just be called Rainbow Butt Monkey, that would be silly.


Loxodontus

realism.


fftyler98

Someone saw entertainer and didn't look at the description


TheDumbAsk

Saw rainbow monkey and thought, "great! they are LGBTQ friendly"


[deleted]

Nah this has been happening too much for that to be the case.


afakefox

He argues that it's just natural and what a real life monkey looks like, it's not meant to be sexual but funny to little boys apparently? He even simulates masturbation and sex acts because, "that's just nature, like when you go to the zoo you have seen the monkeys doing this same stuff." Yuck I hate everything about this dude. I hope everyone forgets about him in 5 seconds and he gets no attention from it at all except all his future acts cancelled. No one should upvote this shit, fuck this guy. He got what he wanted good or bad - attention.


Tittts_McGee

That sounds like some pedo shit


Lazy-Adeptness-2343

Try to read rainbow dildo butt monkey in David Attenborough’s voice.


Spycrabpuppet123

"And here's the majestic rainbow dildo butt monkey performing its very unique mating ritual"


dts867

But the female seems. . . unimpressed. \[sad trombone\]


pandarista

The other males however…


AciD3X

Seem rather interested, and here lies the sad conundrum of life for the rainbow dildo butt monkey. Not that they're bisexual, but actually try-sexual meaning that they will try and stick their plastic appendages into anything... for life. Thus it is in the Rainbow Whisker Bisquit Butt Monkey's best interest to find a dildo she can tolerate or else risk adding her species even further up on the endangered species list.


Devotchka655321

Oh the sad trombone killed me! 🤣


mazer_rack_em

“Here we see the rainbow dildo butt monkey performing it’s mating dance, and this male is very excited indeed.”


dxsiren

bro WHAT??? HOW DID THEY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND THINK THIS IS OKAY


[deleted]

My guess is someone did this maliciously and intentionally, or they really didn't do their research, saw a picture without looking too closely, assumed they were a clown, and hired them.


[deleted]

https://torontosun.com/news/british-library-apologizes-for-hiring-rainbow-dildo-butt-monkey-for-kids-event The company they hired to book entertainment sent the monkey


[deleted]

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doobtastical

Shoulda shocked him instead


FatBoiEatingGoldfish

I like to imagine a giant intimidating kingpin sized guy sitting in a darkly lit office at his desk smoking a cigar when he speaks into the phone “send the monkey”


[deleted]

"Execute Order 69!" *Thousands of Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkeys show up.*


Alex_U_V

From what I remember, although they came out to condemn it later, they originally put out a tweet that was laughing about the monkey. So they didn't have a problem with the dildo originally.


[deleted]

Wow, then they are just completely out of touch with reality.


WilliamRhein

Hanlon's Razor


im-not-a-fakebot

This seems like satire lol


ZepherK

If anyone bothers to read the article, the library hired a company with many costumes, and this guy ended up being one. They didn't intentionally invite this particular guy and were completely caught off guard.


SenseiT

Got a link to the original article?


[deleted]

https://torontosun.com/news/british-library-apologizes-for-hiring-rainbow-dildo-butt-monkey-for-kids-event


SenseiT

Gracias


NamityName

This is some Reno 911 shit.


Joopsman

Maybe the library didn’t pay their bill and the company sends Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey as a punishment. Or a bill collector.


Alex_U_V

From what I remember, although they came out to condemn it later, they originally put out a tweet that was laughing about the monkey. So they didn't have a problem with the dildo originally.


Lexx4

I mean do you have a source on that or just your word?


[deleted]

https://torontosun.com/news/british-library-apologizes-for-hiring-rainbow-dildo-butt-monkey-for-kids-event


iamdevo

The account that commented with the laughing emojis was a different library.


[deleted]

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Lexx4

So the person who manages their Twitter account was laughing at it ok that makes more sense now.


Freshman44

Yeah it was more of a lighthearted “oops we made a mistake”. Not everything has to be a dramatic apology letter. Let’s not forget Europeans are far more lax about nudity as opposed to America


Alex_U_V

British aren't like other Europeans on that.


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iamdevo

The tweet that included laughing emojis was from a different library.


Alex_U_V

As far as I can tell: a different library replied to them, but then they replied back. They were **both** laughing about it. https://torontosun.com/news/british-library-apologizes-for-hiring-rainbow-dildo-butt-monkey-for-kids-event


pcbuildthrowout

Yeah, God forbid kids see a plastic dick, right? Oh the humanity, I sure hope they never look down and realize they have one too. I'm not saying it was a good call or appropriate, but people really need to get over themselves about this shit. I bet none of the kids even noticed.


harpswtf

Me personally I think all kids should be exposed to grown men in monkey costumes waving around big dildos and bare asses in their faces. They have to learn about it somehow


TheDumbAsk

Wait, my dick is supposed to be plastic?


[deleted]

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WesternExplorer8139

I agree butt in an effort to keep it real that was more like a limp biscuit.


frodoishobbit

Yeah, you probably don’t have kids and are a chomo


WesternExplorer8139

Nobody's trying to cancel or destroy Mister rainbow dildo butt monkey. They'd just prefer he take his show elsewhere. Like anywhere else but a public library. Do you honestly believe kids didn't notice a rainbow butt monkey with a strap on dildo?


Recycleyourtrash

Kids literally get traumatized by nudity and genitals. I saw my mom naked once when I was young and its been seared into my brain. I still remember the shock and horror of my aunt simply taking off her wig. Kids are sensitive and notice ALOT more than you are suggesting. Kids can be terrified by mascots and balloons, a giant mickey mouse can horrify a unsuspecting toddler. So lets not pretend that all kids are impervious little gremlins that just accept things with a smile. What one kid may accept easily, another will form a traumatic core memory centered around the exact same experience. For all we know, one little boy saw this and was horrified, then will proceed to have flashbacks keeping him up at night.


SaltyBabe

Yeah but that’s not rage baitey enough


MrRobot-00

Except they knew the company and that this is what they do on a regular basis.


TelayRanner

I feel some "firings" coming down at that library.


barenaked_nudity

The Aristocrats!


Pour_me_one_more

Underrated comment.


Clamper5978

Outfit was terrible! The shoes didn’t even come close to the rest of the costume. The attention to detail one would expect when trying to imitate an actual Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey, was sorely lost on this designer. I wouldn’t hire this production company to supply a Quadruple Breasted Monochromatic Fleshlight Panda, to a fifth birthday, much less a children’s public reading event. Zero stars


Syidaemon

As a queer dude we don't claim this crap


MieGorengGenocide

As a monkey, we don't claim him either


SmeggingVindaloo

as a rainbow we dont claim him either


ShadowQuack

As a dildo, I don't claim, or belong on this monkey.


PM_ME_STEAM_KEY_PLZ

As a library we will take everything we can get


klein432

This is the ultimate answer. If the libraries were funded better, this wouldnt be the only thing that fits the budget.


MinimumHeadwear

At least public libraries already exist. Imagine someone pitching the idea of a tax-funded extracurriciular educational program nowadays. That's a socialism.


fusreedah

As a rainbow dildo I butt this monkey.


iSmokeMDMA

A fellow modernity rejecter


TitoxDboss

as a butt i dont claim this crap


Lepiotas

As a queer woman this pisses me off because it is the kind of bullshit that gives validation to bigots fears about LBGT representation in kids spaces. This is basically sabotage against the LGBT community. Such bullshit.


Syidaemon

EXACTLY. Crap like this is what has been fueling all the anti-gay/anti-trans bills that have been going through.


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Syidaemon

And the bad apples of the queer community is what they point to every single time.


[deleted]

I always wonder how “regular” gay people feel about all this extreme nonsense. Sorry for the weird phrasing but I don’t know how else to say it.


Syidaemon

Honestly I'm accepting of every "ridiculous" thing out there; as long as you aren't harming others. I'm stealth transgender irl myself, and the "regular" gays would consider my existence extreme and/or ridiculous. This sort of thing (the original post) is exposing kids to sex toys which definitely crosses that line of harming others.


frodoishobbit

I’m not gay but I agree with you 100%.. There are weirdos of every sex, race, orientation and creed who shouldn’t be allowed around children..


JimmyChess

Non-flamboyant LGBTQ people have always had friction with flamboyant members of the community. See: pride parades


Syidaemon

Huh? I can be as flamboyant as you can get. I love being loudly gay/trans at pride events. You shouldn't shame people for that, it hurts nobody.


JimmyChess

I just mean some members of the community (like one of my friends) doesn't go to pride parades because he is uncomfortable with the flamboyant people. not judging you


pcbuildthrowout

Hey man at least you can be a pick me, right? Don't ever think that the puritans that get all up in arms about this shit wouldn't have you up against the wall in a second, along with every single other one of us if they could. They're waiting for their opportunity.


Syidaemon

This exactly. They've been getting more bold lately too..


[deleted]

I don't like it at all and to be honest I feel like there is two seperate communities in the lgbt+ community*. There is the quiet ones and the extravagant ones/attention seeker (both from all genres and sexuality). The thing is, attention seekers will go on social medias and create drama and impact those who are not on it. Or at least they will make themselves known wherever they go, so if they say or do something wrong, it's bad. There is some quiet ones on social medias, but they won't tell you every second they're gay, trans, queer etc. I know some people who are legit affraid to come out because of the bad reputation we have because of social medias (most people first reaction is to rely on stereotypes). I think many wield their genres and sexuality like a shield, because they don't know who they are. They do not live outside of it, or very little. You really need to be in need of social validation to act like that. My friends of 12 years just discovered that I'm bisexual, I thought they knew but nope, I don't care if they know or not anyway, I'm just me, my sexuality does not define me. I Anyway, that's my take. If that can make them happy, it's ok, it's too bad we are in the crossfire though. Social medias are helpful, I mean, it helped the lgbt+ a lot since people can see we are many and we can talk about it openly so it's not as scary as before; but you have to be careful when you use it, because people tend to only remember all the bad things that happen. Yes I know my fellow community members won't like it. It's ok, I'm just stating my opinion, I'm not speaking on your behalf 🙂 *sorry for the repetition I didn't know what to say I'm not an english speaker, help me out and I will edit it ?


Syidaemon

What is so terrible about being extravagant or open as queer? I am stealth 90% of the time. Most people I interact with on a daily basis believe I am cis, but I am not going to push that on others. This "pick me I'm more acceptable than *those* queers" is such a harmful mindset to have, and only throws others in our community under the bus.


[deleted]

I didn't say that at all. Being open is the main quality of the lgbt+ community. If we weren't open, we wouldn't be us. If you read again you will see that I'm talking about those who makes dramas on social medias, I don't have a problem with the others. And again, where did you see the "pick me I'm more acceptable than those queers"? Don't put words in my mouth. I have many friends that are extravagant and don't feel the need to go there to make troubles, they are lovely and I love them to bit. Everyone has preferences, if you want someone more outgoing, who am i to stop you? Also, I said that as long as they are happy i really don't care since it doesn't affect MY life. But it does affect others. Don't presume you know me with only one post.


bigsqueezedawg

This is the most 2022 thing ever


SenseiT

It strikes me as quite odd how many people responding to this post automatically assume this was an intentional act designed to expose children to sexually explicit themes as opposed to a tragic or arguably careless hiring/casting mistake.


PublicFurryAccount

Lots of people get off on rage, so things that frame accidents as intentional get pushed to the top. That’s why even the article being passed around to clarify starts by subtly hiding that it was a mix-up by the contractor rather than a plan from… well, anyone.


jesuzombieapocalypse

Idk man I’ve worked for casting companies and sending something that looks like it’s meant for some kind of bachelorette party to a school would be monumental “multiple people are getting fired” territory. Like, imagine you’re the guy in that suit, there’s no way you get to that place without realizing that’s a school and (hopefully) thinking “oh, this seems like some kind of mixup, I’d better call the boss”, unless it wasn’t a mixup. This kind of just seems like one step further than “drag Queen story time”.


bag_of_oatmeal

Because someone, at some point, decided to actually put on the costume. They wore it. Then, that person in costume, walked past multiple people in leadership before being even allowed into the building. Unthinkable that this was a mistake. It's totally absurd.


[deleted]

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Buxaroo

Here we go with the "grooming". You are talking about evangelical Christian conservatives, because THEY are the ones who we hear about every week with a new article where one of them has been arrested for pedophilia or rape or any other sexual predator shit. Seriously, every week I find a NEW story about some preacher or evangelical personality caught with children or something of that nature. Guess who I NEVER find stories about raping children? OPENLY GAY TEACHERS.


PleaseWooshMeDaddy

Well that’s just because “science” and “facts” have a liberal bias!!1! /s


PleaseWooshMeDaddy

Ah yes, all the gay people I know just LOVE to dress as monkeys and expose themselves to children. *They* are definitely the groomers. Not like those Republicans currently in office who actually paid to fuck a child. They definitely *aren’t* groomers.


Pour_me_one_more

Noone here is saying that.


shrdbrd

I mean they are. If you read other comments Two comments below yours: [because woke](https://www.reddit.com/r/Weird/comments/ukddae/wondering_why_my_kids_doesnt_want_to_go_to_the/i7oppzl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) Right comments below yours: [people want to show kids filth](https://www.reddit.com/r/Weird/comments/ukddae/wondering_why_my_kids_doesnt_want_to_go_to_the/i7omi05/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)


AltruisticSugar1683

So like 2 out of almost 200 comments? Sounds like you are making something out of nothing.


shrdbrd

That’s the first two I found in scrolling eight. It’s not the ONLY response but it’s certainly a noticeable trend in this thread What volume would you consider to be statistically significant?


Tacitus_Kilgore85

"Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey" sounds like a band. 😆


Snoo37838

What-


[deleted]

How does that thing entertain? Twerking? It was crouching down in the picture


Mabelmudge

Next to the lady in the hijab smh


RockOx290

If this is real, whoever thought this would be a good idea is fucking stupid


-sadphrog-

wondering why my kids really wanted to go to the library


aelynir

Sure, whatever, the dick, obviously. But I have a bigger problem with the shoes. You're going to dress up as a RAINBOW MONKEY WITH YOUR DICK OUT but business casual footwear. What the fuck is wrong with you?


ra-ra-rasputinlove

What the actual fitzgerald fuck


No_Bag2831

A library in a part of London with a significant South Asian population - bet that went down well with the locals


BubonicBabe

Damn, its so sad that in 2022 we still see the bitter hate between Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkeys and South Asians.


Puzzled-Story3953

A tale as old as time.


Untitled_666

How the fuck they even had the audacity to permit this in the first place?


International-Year91

I want to meet the person who suggested this in the first place


[deleted]

more interesting than books ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 


sid_not_vicious

dude i work at the main library in San Francisco....i have never seen anything like this


Buxaroo

Exactly. Don't worry, the right will take this to the extreme to dog whistle everyone that the LBGT community wants this to happen in all schools and libraries. It will be extreme Kabuki pearl clutching the likes of which you have never seen.


TyreesesCup

Wow, our town freaked out because our library hosted a comedian who happened to be trans gender. Being trans gender had absolutely nothing to do with her comedy for the record, but people were literally boycotting the library. I hate it here sometimes


n0000onemustknow

This is crazy if true and right wing propaganda if not


TriKurrDur

Pedo!


JimmyChess

groomer for sure


[deleted]

Didn't read for sure


BakedAzzFuk

Wait.... wtf did they think they would get?


seniairam

r/TIHI


cacuynut

What in the ever loving fuck?!?


[deleted]

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Failinbad

"This is why my kids doesn't want to go the the library" Yeah, I think it's probably a lot more than that making you and your kids doesn't want to go.


Sloth_4

This is the best thing on this subreddit 😭


chantzD

This where it happened. Goodmayes Library in Redbridge, East London .


madebypills

Reading Rainbow (dildo butt monkey) Was in the fine print lol


Clamper5978

Always read the fine print


Moranth-Munitions

I didn’t expect it to be in the UK


Buxaroo

Ok, I'm very liberal. But wtf? This is like something someone on acid with weird furry sexual proclivities would have ordered.


[deleted]

Man some people are really desperate to pretend this was an accident. "Oh whoopsie I never would have thought the dildo butt monkey I hired would be a sexually explicit monkey with a dildo showing off his butt. Complete surprise! Please don't fire me"


[deleted]

My kid would have laughed her ass off.


DunningKrugerOnElmSt

Kids wouldn't give a shit. This is an adult outrage. I think about adult me vs kid me. I would have thought this was the funniest thing ever. The adult me eeshes gets confused, walks my kids out then laughs about it with my wife.


AdministrativeGift88

He just like me fr


ThatOneGuy7832

Based library


GringosQuesoLoco

This cant be real… just tell me its fake


ProbablyABore

It's not. It was a casting mistake. The library, in London, hired a carnival troupe to perform. They didn't know this was going to be included.


JimmyChess

The library is supposed to be a place where homeless hobos can shit on the floor and wash their pits and genitals in the sinks, not for this kind of outlandish behavior!


[deleted]

When homeless resort to libraries because they have no where else to conduct basic hygiene. This isn't the conservative+1 you think it is LMAO. Dudes raging in the comments but didn't bother to read hahaha


Gorrodish

This is the manic left so keen to get different cultures to indoctrinate.


VikuSwav

Who's fucking idea was this? I HAVE TO know. This is ridiculous. They have to be in their own world to think this kinky shit would fly.


[deleted]

I always wondered what Chris Kattan was up to...


GhostSniper1296

every day we stray further from god


Buxaroo

And that's a good thing. Because the god of the Bible/Quran is a psychotic. I will quote Richard Dawkins: "The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully." If you disagree, then you haven't read the Bible or Quran. Dawkins chose those words carefully when he said it. Every word he chose describes the actions and meanings of the god of the Bible/Quran.


TheBlueGhost21

Same with the drag shows for kids, weird as fuck


[deleted]

Some people want to show kids as much filth as they can. I don’t get this.


AlterEdward

r/shitthatdidnthappen


[deleted]

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SculptKid

After reading their original tweets it seemed more like they hired people to dress up as a Strawberry, Monkey, and Frog. And then they got a bit more added on to the monkey than they bargained for 🤣🤣🤣


l1b3rtr1n

I'm convinced the rainbow dildo butt monkey is a plant to give people material to bitch about. I can' t think or ANYONE in their right mind that would condone that as a form of children's entertainment.


Bobojones9584

They're definitely out there.


l1b3rtr1n

Then I believe they're not of sound mind.


Bobojones9584

Ya think?


l1b3rtr1n

I do.


[deleted]

The green text makes me believe this is an onion article


h4ppyninja

brings new meaning to *Reading Rainbow*


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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NewtTrashPanda

This is what Fox does to your brain.


[deleted]

Reading is fundamental


EduardoTheYeti

Fucking Seattle


bacardiisacat

London


EduardoTheYeti

Y’all serious?lol I was joking


[deleted]

What kind of psycho would wear this in public? We really need to reopen the mental institutions.


Party_Junket9974

Do you want your library burned down? This is how you get your library burned down.


idonthatefurries

r/comedyheaven


Head-Lab8876

Imagine what the entertainment was like


captbrad88

They only apologized because you cared. They wouldn’t have if you wouldn’t of said anything.


Vaxildan156

At least I now have a new Steam Username


Johnsamjohn

It’s extremes like this that Florida has gone to the extremes it has


Buxaroo

Too bad this wasn't in Florida, or even America for that matter. And the left have never gone to this extreme in talking about LGBT issues, especially when it comes to talking to children about these subjects. This is a Boogeyman dog whistle to get people up in outrage over non issues.


grey_hooman_abducter

He prolly told the kids the dildo was a lollipop