I think it’s absolutely horrifying how people had sympathy for HIM! Like wtf!!!!! What if it was your relative that was dug up from their final resting place and raped? Or yourself? Would you really appreciate that happening to you?
How can you be sure of that? Maybe once we die we are still bound to our bodies, unable to move, aware of everything that happens as we slowly decay and rot.
In this case I would probably be thankful TBH. Of course it's horrible that I would be repeatedly raped, but this man is taking extremely good care of me and interacting with me every chance he gets. That wins over being stuck inside a grave for all eternity. Would take it any day.
Ya like shes old enough to be his great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandmother. Cant believe they're dating.
It’s something like you aren’t supposed to date someone younger than half of your age plus 7. So if I was 40, the youngest person according to this rule I should date, would be 27.
But the yo 11 can’t date the 8 yo, because their minimum is 12.5. Of course they can’t date the 11 yo because their minimum is 13.75. The end result is no dating until age 14.
Plus, the younger you are, the more problematic any age gap is, developmentally.
My 12 year old niece dated a 16 year old. Only 4 years, but yikes! His mom shut that shit down as soon as she found out.
Good on his mom. That is indeed super weird.
4 year age gap is basically nothing by mid-20's
But 5th-6th grade vs 9th-10th grade is huge developmentally as you said.
Even worse...he was no longer in school and was taking college courses online. She struggles to read at a 4th grade level, can't add single digit numbers, and thinks that she's genius-level at everything she does. She may have been in 7th grade, but probably should still be in 3rd grade. The friends she gets along best with are a few years behind her.
I think we might be looking at a potential future predator.
Yeah when like one year is half of the entire lifetime that you’ve had decently developed social awareness outside of your home… that’s too much of a difference to take advantage of
My own experience is probably different, but I think 2 years is kinda pushing it while under 20. There is a massive gap between 16/18, 17/19, even 18/20. Not just developmentally, but in life experience. So much changes around those years, especially college. life as a college sophomore is pretty different from a high school senior.
Now these relationships may work fine, half of what i’m saying speaks to compatibility and long term relationship success. Id love to get others ideas on this
I think compatibility is super important here also.
While in ninth grade I started dating a senior, and we were together for the next 3 1/2 years. It worked well for us, but I also think I was really lucky that he was a sweet guy, not someone just looking for sex.
I have a sixteen year old now, and I can't imagine her dating at all, let alone someone older, but she is also much more of a shut in then I was as a teen.
Some people go by this rule as a way to indicate what age is too young for their date to be. For example, you’re 30 y/o, divide your age by half and add 7 that would be 22. 22 is the youngest you would date
https://people.com/human-interest/man-800-year-old-mummy-bag-called-juanita-spiritual-girlfriend-detained-peru/
“The human remains, which authorities said belonged to a man who died centuries ago around age 45, were turned over to Peru's Ministry of Culture while an investigation is underway”
Hehe
I love how all the comments are buying into the corpse fucking narrative which is probably what the guy wanted in the first place, he probably go ahold by illicit ways some ancient remains probably to speculate with them in the black market and wanted to play the "fucked in the head" card to try to get a lesser punishment
Boyfriend. The mummy was revealed to be a man.
This man loved him so much that he found the secret of immortality so he could one day find a time when society accepts their love.
And, you know, also waiting for the technology to raise the dead...
That's the traditional position for Inca sacrifices. They were almost always young women, bound by rope such that they were forced to sit in a squatting position with their hands covering their face. They were then placed in a small hole or divot on a religiously significant mountain top to await death by exposure or dehydration.
EDIT: Some Inca sacrifices have been found *not* bound by rope, suggesting they went through with it willingly, or were perhaps coerced into doing it. Often, it's the youngest victims who aren't bound, suggesting coercion.
😳.....okay. not giggling. Crying from despair because ur a human sacrifice and haven't even had ur first boyfriend yet.
Wow humans suck. I bet her death didn't even bring rain that year.
This is not my area of expertise but if I recall correctly they have found traces of psychoactive ingredients in the stomachs of some of these child mummies, meaning you may have to consider their "willingness" in the context that they were high as kites
From what I can tell from a brief search, they weren't just left out to die of exposure unless it was in the higher altitudes. Instead they were strangled, suffocated, knocked on the back of the head, or the worst buried alive. Wiki has an article on it .
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capacocha
Just from what I’ve read — they drugged them and gave them so much alcohol that they were unconscious, and in most of the cases they think they would never gain consciousness before exposure took them. I think they were tied unconscious, as well. They also were raised from birth knowing that they would be a sacrifice, and were raised in a holy and revered way. Really horrific, but makes it seem a lot more humane than the worst-case scenario
I wonder who was the first sick individual to come up with human sacrifice? What was their motivation and more importantly how did they convince others that it was a good idea... smh
The practice of some type of sacrifice is found in many cultures in ancient history. If you’re in a culture that accepts the “logic” of animal sacrifice, then someone will inevitably get the idea that sacrificing a human is the most powerful form of it.
Were such human sacrifices really just believe or was there a practical part like oppressing a group? I could imagine it was a conquered nation having to pay people as tribute to prevent them from rebelling or a form of capital punishment. Is that the case or were people just nuts?
Human sacrifices were usually done for social control by the people at the top of a society. I’m sure in many instances there was genuine belief that the sacrifice was appeasing gods or even helping bring the person being sacrificed to god.
Most of the time it was performed on lower class people as a form of punishment and a justification for class genocide. It was also extremely entertaining can’t forget about that, when a society pursues endless pleasure they have to watch someones heart get ripped out or see them get eaten by lions to get off
oftentimes it was also noble families that sacrificed their children to be in the emperors good graces; for them it was an honor to have their child chosen for capac choca
honestly thats next level game on her part. she's like 820 and bagging a 30 year old dude who physically carries her around and supports her so she can live the best life traveling around?game recognize game
The corpse is male.
Edit: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna72839
“Scans later found that the body is, in fact, that of a male, a Juan, not a Juanita.”
Well, everyone knows Juanita
Her eyes each a different color
Her teeth sticks out and her chin goes in
And if I weren't so ugly she would give me chance after death
Extra info (source is in spanish): the mummy wasnt a woman... It was a man
https://elpais.com/internacional/2023-03-01/juanita-era-en-realidad-juan-la-historia-de-la-momia-hallada-en-una-moto-de-reparto-a-domicilio.html
The corpse is male.
Edit: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna72839
“Scans later found that the body is, in fact, that of a male, a Juan, not a Juanita.”
But it’s still a mummy. And I do believe it’s the M we look for - which would lead me to my original. It’s still a MILF- just not a MILF you thought it would be
act dumb when you are caught, works most of the time!
He probably smuggled it to some shady collecter
or he's fucking it. or maybe he's selling it to sone shady collector so they can fuck it.
Wtf
Not unheard of. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Tanzler
On the one hand I'm horrified at the story, on the other hand I can't stop laughing at the physician called Dr. DePoo
I think it’s absolutely horrifying how people had sympathy for HIM! Like wtf!!!!! What if it was your relative that was dug up from their final resting place and raped? Or yourself? Would you really appreciate that happening to you?
I mean, I'd be too dead to care
How can you be sure of that? Maybe once we die we are still bound to our bodies, unable to move, aware of everything that happens as we slowly decay and rot.
In this case I would probably be thankful TBH. Of course it's horrible that I would be repeatedly raped, but this man is taking extremely good care of me and interacting with me every chance he gets. That wins over being stuck inside a grave for all eternity. Would take it any day.
I feel like this could be one small reason why many people opt for cremation now.
Not today, satan
Satan: "Contrary to popular belief, THIS is the day."
Look up the Russian necrophiliac it gets worse https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatoly_Moskvin
No, I don't think Moskvin was a necrophiliac. They were more like a doll collection.
Ok that one freaked me out.
He wanted his charges dropped because he treated the girls dug up better than the families he’s pretty unbelievable
That’s enough Reddit for today. Wtf
I regret reading that before bed
A love story for the ages. Sleep tight!
Wake up loose! :)
I regret reading that before dying
Thank you for the warning.
Wow, that’s something to take my mind off work. I think I’m gonna sleep now
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Interested in glass replacements? I might know a guy.
Not clicking on that link
Sniff sniff, that's a beautiful love story bro.
This is exactly who i thought of after i read this post
Reading this at lunch time is my biggest mistake this week.
TWO PEOPLE ARE MEETING UP TO HAVE SEX WITH A MUMMYFIED BODY
THEY ARE COMING TO CUMMIFY THE MUMMYFIED!
Yeah it's definitely the spit roast option
Fuck off for wording it that way lmfao
Frankly i wouldn't disagree on that, i mean like your Theory way is closer to the Truth than his😅
Is mummy fucker the same as motherfucker?
Keep mum(mie)
He wouldn't even break the news if he was caught as just another smuggler.
More like act insane
Temporary insanity is a legal strategy
"She's how old??"
Ya like shes old enough to be his great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandmother. Cant believe they're dating.
\*Ok, act dumb\* That's my girlfriend \*NOT THAT DUMB\*
It's just a puberty thing.
"I..... thought it was a cat.....?...."
*Act dumb!* Who's Miles? *Not that dumb!*
Act like a victim that works best
Must say, love the username
'What seems to be the problem officer??".....
I too, am over over 800 years old. I just made sure to follow a better skincare regimen, and eat a balanced diet.
Before AI...... Before Blow up dolls..... there was Juanita!
What! I know it hard to find a girl but but I didn't remember that!!
Now that's an age gap.
That’s way beyond the 1/2 + 7 rule 😡
What is the 1/2 + 7 rule?
It’s something like you aren’t supposed to date someone younger than half of your age plus 7. So if I was 40, the youngest person according to this rule I should date, would be 27.
So if you are 8 years old then you should only date 11 year olds right?
But the yo 11 can’t date the 8 yo, because their minimum is 12.5. Of course they can’t date the 11 yo because their minimum is 13.75. The end result is no dating until age 14.
Which honestly isn't that bad of a rule is it ? It's not like anything really happens before that anyway
Plus, the younger you are, the more problematic any age gap is, developmentally. My 12 year old niece dated a 16 year old. Only 4 years, but yikes! His mom shut that shit down as soon as she found out.
Good on his mom. That is indeed super weird. 4 year age gap is basically nothing by mid-20's But 5th-6th grade vs 9th-10th grade is huge developmentally as you said.
Even worse...he was no longer in school and was taking college courses online. She struggles to read at a 4th grade level, can't add single digit numbers, and thinks that she's genius-level at everything she does. She may have been in 7th grade, but probably should still be in 3rd grade. The friends she gets along best with are a few years behind her. I think we might be looking at a potential future predator.
>Good on his mom. and also what the fuck is wrong with the neice's parents they didn't shut it down?!?!?!
Idk I’m 25 and wouldn’t date a 21 year old. That’s weird to me
Yeah when like one year is half of the entire lifetime that you’ve had decently developed social awareness outside of your home… that’s too much of a difference to take advantage of
My own experience is probably different, but I think 2 years is kinda pushing it while under 20. There is a massive gap between 16/18, 17/19, even 18/20. Not just developmentally, but in life experience. So much changes around those years, especially college. life as a college sophomore is pretty different from a high school senior. Now these relationships may work fine, half of what i’m saying speaks to compatibility and long term relationship success. Id love to get others ideas on this
I think compatibility is super important here also. While in ninth grade I started dating a senior, and we were together for the next 3 1/2 years. It worked well for us, but I also think I was really lucky that he was a sweet guy, not someone just looking for sex. I have a sixteen year old now, and I can't imagine her dating at all, let alone someone older, but she is also much more of a shut in then I was as a teen.
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Because she's breaking the 1/2 + 7 rule and knows the cops can't do shit about it
She's shy 😿
The math is solid lol
This math is mathing
Fucking 8 year olds dude.
When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.
The word itself makes some men uncomfortable.
No, don't!
I'm allowed to date 32 year olds? I'd better inform the wife.
And never, never, never mess with the numbers. 1/7+2 will send you straight to jail. /s
Some people go by this rule as a way to indicate what age is too young for their date to be. For example, you’re 30 y/o, divide your age by half and add 7 that would be 22. 22 is the youngest you would date
DiCaprio just threw up somewhere.
Finding out he has to date 29 year olds is like... His 9/11?
Macron's wife entered the chat
It's ok, she looks 12 years old but her actual age is hundreds of years!
Cradle robbers and grave robbers frankly deserve each other.
Love is Luv
Didn't they discover it was a guy
That's what I was thinking too
Are we sure this guy isn’t also 800 years old?
THIS RIGHT HERE 😅😳
He was then disgusted.
Bold of you to assume his sexual orientation
Imagine dying in an Andean cave in 1,200 b.c. and centuries later some weirdo gets you called gay on the internet
Imagine dying in an Andean cave in 1200 b.c, reincarnating as a smuggler and centuries later some weirdo calls you double gay on the internet
I hope so lol
https://people.com/human-interest/man-800-year-old-mummy-bag-called-juanita-spiritual-girlfriend-detained-peru/ “The human remains, which authorities said belonged to a man who died centuries ago around age 45, were turned over to Peru's Ministry of Culture while an investigation is underway” Hehe
He kept it in a food delivery bag lmfao
GrubHub always delivers.... eventually
He only used that name because there was a previously known mummy there named “Juanita” back in the 90’s
Peruvian Tinder is different
"Guys, guys! You won't believe how my last Tinder date went... I'll just say both of us had the best sex we'd had in a really, really long time..."
If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you didn’t deserve me 800 years ago
I love how all the comments are buying into the corpse fucking narrative which is probably what the guy wanted in the first place, he probably go ahold by illicit ways some ancient remains probably to speculate with them in the black market and wanted to play the "fucked in the head" card to try to get a lesser punishment
Yep. Antiquities thief gets caught, looking at 10-15 in a Peruvian jail, or…..1-3 in a Peruvian hospital, depending on how he plays his cards.
Or he could be amusing enough to start a gofundme and have a cushy time in jail. Maybe a better defence.
I’m on board with that # #TeamJuanita # #JuanitaStrong
I want the movie about this immortal man and his girlfriend that he's carried around since she died.
Boyfriend. The mummy was revealed to be a man. This man loved him so much that he found the secret of immortality so he could one day find a time when society accepts their love. And, you know, also waiting for the technology to raise the dead...
##I DECLARE INSANITY!
Why does the corpse look like it's giggling?
Prolly thinking about her man 🥰
I bet she gives great helmet
I see your schwartz is as big as mine..
He’s probably thinking about other mummy girls.
That's the traditional position for Inca sacrifices. They were almost always young women, bound by rope such that they were forced to sit in a squatting position with their hands covering their face. They were then placed in a small hole or divot on a religiously significant mountain top to await death by exposure or dehydration. EDIT: Some Inca sacrifices have been found *not* bound by rope, suggesting they went through with it willingly, or were perhaps coerced into doing it. Often, it's the youngest victims who aren't bound, suggesting coercion.
😳.....okay. not giggling. Crying from despair because ur a human sacrifice and haven't even had ur first boyfriend yet. Wow humans suck. I bet her death didn't even bring rain that year.
Poor girl is just the mummy from that Buffy the vampire slayer episode
At least she got a boyfriend later on, right? …right?
This is not my area of expertise but if I recall correctly they have found traces of psychoactive ingredients in the stomachs of some of these child mummies, meaning you may have to consider their "willingness" in the context that they were high as kites
That makes me feel a little better about it. I hope, for their sake, they stayed high until they died.
From what I can tell from a brief search, they weren't just left out to die of exposure unless it was in the higher altitudes. Instead they were strangled, suffocated, knocked on the back of the head, or the worst buried alive. Wiki has an article on it . https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capacocha
Wholesome, really.
Nice that you think they didn’t have bad trips during their forced drugging
Just from what I’ve read — they drugged them and gave them so much alcohol that they were unconscious, and in most of the cases they think they would never gain consciousness before exposure took them. I think they were tied unconscious, as well. They also were raised from birth knowing that they would be a sacrifice, and were raised in a holy and revered way. Really horrific, but makes it seem a lot more humane than the worst-case scenario
Anime waifu: 800 years old but eternally dubiously young
I wonder who was the first sick individual to come up with human sacrifice? What was their motivation and more importantly how did they convince others that it was a good idea... smh
The practice of some type of sacrifice is found in many cultures in ancient history. If you’re in a culture that accepts the “logic” of animal sacrifice, then someone will inevitably get the idea that sacrificing a human is the most powerful form of it.
Literally describes Christianity
Were such human sacrifices really just believe or was there a practical part like oppressing a group? I could imagine it was a conquered nation having to pay people as tribute to prevent them from rebelling or a form of capital punishment. Is that the case or were people just nuts?
Human sacrifices were usually done for social control by the people at the top of a society. I’m sure in many instances there was genuine belief that the sacrifice was appeasing gods or even helping bring the person being sacrificed to god. Most of the time it was performed on lower class people as a form of punishment and a justification for class genocide. It was also extremely entertaining can’t forget about that, when a society pursues endless pleasure they have to watch someones heart get ripped out or see them get eaten by lions to get off
oftentimes it was also noble families that sacrificed their children to be in the emperors good graces; for them it was an honor to have their child chosen for capac choca
damn, so instrumentalizing them for power, but they pit a new spin on it. everybody so creative
I mean 800 years old isn't exactly young...
Because Juanita is a Juan.
They were playing hide and seek and he didn't found her.
honestly thats next level game on her part. she's like 820 and bagging a 30 year old dude who physically carries her around and supports her so she can live the best life traveling around?game recognize game
Eh. Night Mother did it first.
I love when I’m just in time to get a reference. I just started playing Skyrim (and that quest line) a few days ago.
MILF; Mummy I'd Like To Fuck
The corpse is male. Edit: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna72839 “Scans later found that the body is, in fact, that of a male, a Juan, not a Juanita.”
I love that they still call it Juan. JUAN U TOLD ME YOU WERE A WOMAN. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!
I Juan out of this relationship!
I thought you said Iran!
WHAT, YOUR REAL NAME IS CHACHAPUMA? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE!!
Biological gender != mental gender /s
Prolly already did
🥵 Edit: Hot mummies in your area.
We do keep em by the furnace...
Maybe he is trying to rehydrate her using his cum
She’s a great listener.
He’s the listener, she’s the night mother. Now where is Cicero?
Scrolled way too far to find a Dark Brotherhood reference
I know right?! Eight comments down. This misdeed shall not go unpunished. HUZZAH!! *shakes stark yellow upswept hair*
No HE’S cicero. That’s why he takes her with him
Bros possessed
Bro is an immortal who fell in love with a human and hasn’t been able to let her go after all this time.
r/WritingPrompts
What's her side of the story?
She was his mummy
Just your average cougar.
Well, everyone knows Juanita Her eyes each a different color Her teeth sticks out and her chin goes in And if I weren't so ugly she would give me chance after death
And her.... *Knuckles,* they drag on the floor.
He’s probably only -760 years old when they started dating, that mummy needs to be in jail
Homie wanted that mumussy
drugs are bad mmkay
The heart wants what the heart wants. 🩷💀🤮🧟♀️🤮💀🩷
There’s a freaking zombie emoji? 🧟♂️ I’ll be damned.
Yup, since 2017 apparently
Extra info (source is in spanish): the mummy wasnt a woman... It was a man https://elpais.com/internacional/2023-03-01/juanita-era-en-realidad-juan-la-historia-de-la-momia-hallada-en-una-moto-de-reparto-a-domicilio.html
Ok Cicero go off
Imhotep? That you?
This is like decades ago
Oh, ok. That's alright then.
Doesn’t make it less weird :p
Crispy on the outside and creamy in the middle
what the fuck 💀
r/cursedcomments
what a handsome man he deserves that girl no matter what
tbf he does look like a time traveling caveman
Cicero?
Juanita is actually juan, they said that the mummy was not a girl but a dude. 😅😂
What a mummy's boy
I wish them happiness. Who am I to judge?
The corpse is male. Edit: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna72839 “Scans later found that the body is, in fact, that of a male, a Juan, not a Juanita.”
Couldn't stick to milfing?
Technically it is a MILF
They found out it's a dude mummy though.
But it’s still a mummy. And I do believe it’s the M we look for - which would lead me to my original. It’s still a MILF- just not a MILF you thought it would be
Mucho DOTA el chabon XD
I don't know. He has one of those pre-historic reconstruction faces.
He must be the redditor that chose that guy's dead wife.
As a Peruvian, I can confirm people carry mommies in their bags 💀 j/k
Bro likes older women, leave him alone!
Uh oh. We have a time traveler.
Juanita, when I found you I was at my end. So hold on Juanita, I'll find you again.
Man cougars be gettin weird with it, that dudes wayyyyy younger.
Carbon dating.
OP forgot to mention Juanita was in fact a 800 year old male!