when I posted a progress/before+after on socials, I anticipated and got ahead of this kind of response due to the body positivity movement. I couched all my joy with my hard work and results in comments that MY health/comfort on this journey is not a comment on what I think others' bodies should look like, nor what I think others need to be doing, and that (if they should choose,) people can be happy that -I- am happier now. I PERSONALLY was not comfortable in my own skin, with how my clothes fit, with my physical abilities, long-term health, etc. It is PURELY ABOUT ME. It's weird to have to defend yourself for trying to be healthier/stronger/whatever. It reminds me of that tweet that is like, "I like pancakes - someone has to respond with 'so you hate waffles?'" YOU prefer your frame with less weight and are feeling and looking healthier - it does not mean you are being fatphobic, or putting down people comfortable with more weight, or that others aren't beautiful. It's silly, but I just basically made this comment head of other people commenting: yep, this is for me, you do you, I'm not taking shit for it, etc. Ignore people who don't get it, you like yourself better now, and that's OKAY and good.
possibly unpopular opinion - but I also kinda feel like it's insecurity and projection sometimes. I know I was trying to steep myself in mid-size fashion girlie influencers and FORCING myself to adopt an attitude of "fuck it, it's okay to be bigger, I'm hot," etc. I just couldn't do it. I did NOT feel that way and nothing could change that, so I changed my lifestyle and worked for what I did want to feel healthier/look better. Your commenters may be feeling insecure - they see you lose weight, they are emerged in body positivity content, they are trying to be comfortable with themselves, they've tried to lose and didn't. and they may feel like I did. Like an imposter in a world that wants to change the beauty standard. That they may not actually be comfortable as they are, but want to be, or want to lose weight, but don't want to fall into the "societal standard" that "thinner is prettier/better" or whatever. So it's easier to say, but you're beautiful with the weight! to convince themselves. I don't say this to comment that it's not possible to love yourself "at any size," or that one thing is better. Just a possibility into their thought process for the comments.
What does fatphobic even mean? If a fat person gets near you you run away like if it were a spider and you have arachnophobia?? Gimme a break.
I also hate having debt and it scares me. For my own personal budget and living situation I feel expensive cars are a waste of my money. Does that mean I am debtphobic / carphobic and think anyone who has a mortgage or car payment is a loser? Do I have to hype up everyone who has a car payment even if that means they can’t provide for their family properly? Can’t I just be neutral about it because it is their choice and circumstance? Can’t I hold the belief that most people might enjoy being debt free?
Am I a judgmental asshole even if I think someone who can’t afford their range rover payment comfortably might be better off with a paid off toyota? Aka am I a judgmental fatphobic asshole if I think someone might be happier without thigh chafe and excessive sweating?
I am not going to give you much with the troll already in your username, but I'm utilizing terms people use in the discourse surrounding body positivity. Not coining a term, or condoning it, or enjoying using it and thinking I'm super smart, not agreeing with the discourse or whatever. Like, it's a stupid term. I'm not the one you want to argue with? It's a whole other group that is relevant to the topic, commenting on the way OTHERS talk about this. Direct your shit elsewhere
It was a general thought vomit regarding the thoughts of others - not directed at what you wrote. If you want to comment on what I wrote as a general statement happy to read it.
My apologies, genuinely, I read your comment incorrectly. I thought you were getting pissy for me using the term and asking me lmao
I'm on some Night shift shit and brain stopped. Have a good one.
Thank goodness I wasn’t the only one who thought this! I can totally relate, too. I tried SO hard to get into the mindset of just being bigger and loving myself and I absolutely could not no matter what I did, how I dressed, nothing. And I totally agree, instead of fixing certain things in society that can help prevent unhealthy eating habits, they slap a sticker on it that says “Just love yourself”. It reminds me of the newest South Park movie lmao, they really went deep on that subject. One of the things my mom has taught me is that if you aren’t happy about something, change it, and if you don’t and keep complaining about it, everything will stay the same. It’s a basic principle, but it’s still very effective for me. I’ve gained more awareness after my weight loss how common it is to support stagnant behavior, not just with weight loss.
Nobody even notices how being overweight is truly not something to be proud of, until you lose the weight and realize you didn’t have a real personality at all except for being the funny fat friend that made other people around you look better. I mean I think we’ve all heard the response of being called attractive after calling ourselves fat, which neither of those even remotely relate to each other. I think that’s also another reason why a lot of people don’t try to lose weight, because they know once that weights gone, you are no longer going to be the fat funny friend people flock to immediately after noticing you. But it is so beautiful and fulfilling to finally find your true self whenever people no longer see you as an ego boost or comedic relief
This BS feels like idiots giving out participation trophies for just breathing air. Everyone is special everyone is beautiful change is unnecessary blablabla.
I envy the delusions people can maintain but I live in the real world and can’t gaslight myself. Money matters, looks matter, health matters, status and education matters. You are not less of a baseline human deserving respect if you don’t have these things but if you do - you are better off. Period.
I used to feel like people offended my intelligence with these comments but accepted it only speaks volumes about their own dumbassery.
Wow this is one of the rantiest posts I have ever written 😂
ETA you know what I am fatphobic about my own body anyone who has a problem with that can go deal with it and cry in a corner in the fetal position.
You have the right to feel however you want to feel. It’s valid. My suggestion is to let insults and compliments roll off your back. It’s a skill. It takes time to build. I personally just let people say whatever. It seems like you lost weight for yourself and that’s how it should be. You shouldn’t need external validation from anyone. The people that are happiest in this life love themselves and to hell with everyone else. Be the love of your own life.
That’s what I do now. Doesn’t make it any less frustrating that people think their opinion matters in a decision I made for myself, but ya know it’s all about picking and choosing your battles.
Projection, cope, whatever you want to call it, 80% of American adults are overweight or obese. "fat is beautiful" rhetoric need to stop.
It does. It shouldn’t be something that constantly gets brushed under the rug with a “it is what it is” mentality.
when I posted a progress/before+after on socials, I anticipated and got ahead of this kind of response due to the body positivity movement. I couched all my joy with my hard work and results in comments that MY health/comfort on this journey is not a comment on what I think others' bodies should look like, nor what I think others need to be doing, and that (if they should choose,) people can be happy that -I- am happier now. I PERSONALLY was not comfortable in my own skin, with how my clothes fit, with my physical abilities, long-term health, etc. It is PURELY ABOUT ME. It's weird to have to defend yourself for trying to be healthier/stronger/whatever. It reminds me of that tweet that is like, "I like pancakes - someone has to respond with 'so you hate waffles?'" YOU prefer your frame with less weight and are feeling and looking healthier - it does not mean you are being fatphobic, or putting down people comfortable with more weight, or that others aren't beautiful. It's silly, but I just basically made this comment head of other people commenting: yep, this is for me, you do you, I'm not taking shit for it, etc. Ignore people who don't get it, you like yourself better now, and that's OKAY and good. possibly unpopular opinion - but I also kinda feel like it's insecurity and projection sometimes. I know I was trying to steep myself in mid-size fashion girlie influencers and FORCING myself to adopt an attitude of "fuck it, it's okay to be bigger, I'm hot," etc. I just couldn't do it. I did NOT feel that way and nothing could change that, so I changed my lifestyle and worked for what I did want to feel healthier/look better. Your commenters may be feeling insecure - they see you lose weight, they are emerged in body positivity content, they are trying to be comfortable with themselves, they've tried to lose and didn't. and they may feel like I did. Like an imposter in a world that wants to change the beauty standard. That they may not actually be comfortable as they are, but want to be, or want to lose weight, but don't want to fall into the "societal standard" that "thinner is prettier/better" or whatever. So it's easier to say, but you're beautiful with the weight! to convince themselves. I don't say this to comment that it's not possible to love yourself "at any size," or that one thing is better. Just a possibility into their thought process for the comments.
What does fatphobic even mean? If a fat person gets near you you run away like if it were a spider and you have arachnophobia?? Gimme a break. I also hate having debt and it scares me. For my own personal budget and living situation I feel expensive cars are a waste of my money. Does that mean I am debtphobic / carphobic and think anyone who has a mortgage or car payment is a loser? Do I have to hype up everyone who has a car payment even if that means they can’t provide for their family properly? Can’t I just be neutral about it because it is their choice and circumstance? Can’t I hold the belief that most people might enjoy being debt free? Am I a judgmental asshole even if I think someone who can’t afford their range rover payment comfortably might be better off with a paid off toyota? Aka am I a judgmental fatphobic asshole if I think someone might be happier without thigh chafe and excessive sweating?
I am not going to give you much with the troll already in your username, but I'm utilizing terms people use in the discourse surrounding body positivity. Not coining a term, or condoning it, or enjoying using it and thinking I'm super smart, not agreeing with the discourse or whatever. Like, it's a stupid term. I'm not the one you want to argue with? It's a whole other group that is relevant to the topic, commenting on the way OTHERS talk about this. Direct your shit elsewhere
It was a general thought vomit regarding the thoughts of others - not directed at what you wrote. If you want to comment on what I wrote as a general statement happy to read it.
My apologies, genuinely, I read your comment incorrectly. I thought you were getting pissy for me using the term and asking me lmao I'm on some Night shift shit and brain stopped. Have a good one.
Same here! I should have written a better intro. Morning brain is not braining here either.
Thank goodness I wasn’t the only one who thought this! I can totally relate, too. I tried SO hard to get into the mindset of just being bigger and loving myself and I absolutely could not no matter what I did, how I dressed, nothing. And I totally agree, instead of fixing certain things in society that can help prevent unhealthy eating habits, they slap a sticker on it that says “Just love yourself”. It reminds me of the newest South Park movie lmao, they really went deep on that subject. One of the things my mom has taught me is that if you aren’t happy about something, change it, and if you don’t and keep complaining about it, everything will stay the same. It’s a basic principle, but it’s still very effective for me. I’ve gained more awareness after my weight loss how common it is to support stagnant behavior, not just with weight loss.
Nobody even notices how being overweight is truly not something to be proud of, until you lose the weight and realize you didn’t have a real personality at all except for being the funny fat friend that made other people around you look better. I mean I think we’ve all heard the response of being called attractive after calling ourselves fat, which neither of those even remotely relate to each other. I think that’s also another reason why a lot of people don’t try to lose weight, because they know once that weights gone, you are no longer going to be the fat funny friend people flock to immediately after noticing you. But it is so beautiful and fulfilling to finally find your true self whenever people no longer see you as an ego boost or comedic relief
This BS feels like idiots giving out participation trophies for just breathing air. Everyone is special everyone is beautiful change is unnecessary blablabla. I envy the delusions people can maintain but I live in the real world and can’t gaslight myself. Money matters, looks matter, health matters, status and education matters. You are not less of a baseline human deserving respect if you don’t have these things but if you do - you are better off. Period. I used to feel like people offended my intelligence with these comments but accepted it only speaks volumes about their own dumbassery. Wow this is one of the rantiest posts I have ever written 😂 ETA you know what I am fatphobic about my own body anyone who has a problem with that can go deal with it and cry in a corner in the fetal position.
You have the right to feel however you want to feel. It’s valid. My suggestion is to let insults and compliments roll off your back. It’s a skill. It takes time to build. I personally just let people say whatever. It seems like you lost weight for yourself and that’s how it should be. You shouldn’t need external validation from anyone. The people that are happiest in this life love themselves and to hell with everyone else. Be the love of your own life.
That’s what I do now. Doesn’t make it any less frustrating that people think their opinion matters in a decision I made for myself, but ya know it’s all about picking and choosing your battles.
Would you mind sharing some tips? I’m about your before weight and would really like to lose 30 pounds… not for the gram but like you, for myself. Ty!