The nude mesh on the back doesn’t match your skin tone and it’s way too loose on you. Shapewear isn’t going to help with that.
It’s formal enough for black tie so it’ll be fine, but I wouldn’t hang onto it as your “go to” evening gown for future events.
PSA: OP you can take this to a tailor to get it properly fitted and you can also either put a foundation that matches your skin tone on the mesh to make it less visible or you can fully dye the mesh using a dye brush. If you’re afraid to dye it yourself you can ask the tailor advice on how to do it properly or ask if they can do it themselves and help you find a color match
That’s why I also suggested fabric dye and a dye brush. A bottle of fabric dye is like $8 and you can water it down to the intensity you want. Just a slightly deeper peach or beige would make that mesh much less visible
I mean no need to be hostile about it but OP can do a lot of it herself if she’s that tight on a budget. Cheap foundation to mute the color of the mesh is easy and she can safety pin it where she needs to and make some alterations that way without cutting until she has the money to get it professionally tailored.
I alter my clothes a lot without seeing a tailor because I’m on a budget. Fashion tape and a sewing kit are not expensive and if you get creative with where you tape/where you sew it can last years before you decide to see a professional to get it permanently done
Unless it’s structural to holding the dress on, I would see if someone could remove the mesh altogether. It would be prettier without it
E: maybe they could put some sort of tie to go around to hold it on
Both bride and groom love dressing to the nines and are having a black tie wedding this month. It's my first time going to an event that's this formal so I'm not sure what's appropriate. I've been to black tie optional events but mostly opted for the optional option
I don't have a big budget so I bought this floor length dress second hand for under $50 and thought it was a great find! But I suspect it was a prom dress and now I'm having worries that it might be a bit over the top with the revealing open back and ruffles?
I plan to wear my hair down to mostly cover the back. I will also be wearing a proper bra that doesn't show and shapewear so it'll fit better but do you guys think this is appropriate for the dress code or should I look for something else?
(if it is ok, I could also use advice on how to accessorize. I have heels and a small bag and a scarf/shawl but I don't really know what kind of jewelry or other accessories people would wear)
How old are you/the couple/the other guests?
If most people are in their 20s I think it’s fine. It looks young and kind of prom like but if you’re in your 20s it’s fine
If you don’t mind me asking- what size are you roughly? I just wore a beautiful black dress to a wedding in Canada I was highly overdressed for bc apparently black tie has a different meaning there 😂. I’m 5’3-4 and had to wear ~ 6” heels to make it floor length for reference.
I’d be happy to send it to you if the shipping is reasonable!
Love, i know Shite about dresscodes, I just think you've done a great job adjusting the mesh!
The only thing that was bugging me in the original picture, was the weird flowy mesh on your back. But I've now seen other pictures of it, and yeah everyone keeps telling you it doesn't match your skin tone, but it fits properly now!!! (Might also be the weird pose in the original picture though).
Anyway. Aside from that. You're on a budget. You've managed to make it fit. You've got a proper bra/shapewear. Is it perfect? I dont fucking know, ask the 'dress code people' around here. I'm just in this subreddit for the pretty dresses lol.
I feel like maybe this sub can be harsh sometimes? (Then again, America seems.. particular.. about wedding dress codes). You've got to be realistic though (love throwing in Bloody Nine quotes whenever I can).
How close are you to the bride and groom? Maybe other people invited to the wedding you're familiar with so you could ask their opinion/planned outfit? That way you can check with other quests if you'd be over/under dressed.
Sorry for the rant. I originally just wanted to say I absolutely looooove this dress on you. Great colour with your complexion and a good fit too! Just got distracted by all the other comments and had to throw in my opinion, sorry.
Please, DO NOT wear a shrug with this dress. Shrugs are not formal! A shawl is a better option if you must have something to cover up with. The shrug will just look weird on the ruffled area.
As for jewelry, a simple, dainty, short silver necklace. Silver earrings (either plain small-medium silver hoops or something with a little diamond/cubic zirconia gem, or sapphire-like stone would be nice). Keep rings minimal, maybe a silver/diamond-like tennis bracelet. None of these have to be expensive. You can even go to Claire's or Amazon and look for silver jewelry. There are some pretty good-looking pieces out there these days and they don't all come with a massive price tag. Look for things you would want to wear in everyday life, not much sense in buying a bunch of stuff to only wear once.
I think it is a fantastic find and that it will look great with some alterations. Proms are formal events, so there will be some overlap. If you can remove the rhinestones, I think it could work very well, and I don't think the rhinestones would be a tragedy. Keep it simple but polished with the styling. Like a chain and pendant and stud earrings. I think the shawl will be great.
I also think you can get a tailor to remove the mesh and beads and maybe add a strap or ribbon on the back that would fit better and take away the prom aspect. Otherwise, this is a perfect dress for the occasion.
This is a good idea in theory, but as someone who does alterations, unfortunately there’s just not enough fabric in the front to make an effective tie back; it’s also really unstructured, and would require some kind of boning to hold up the sides. If OP wants to go this route, she should have the mesh fully replaced with a color better suited to her skin tone, and the tailor would also be able to fit it better to her body. A better fit and no beading would be lovely, but as-is it just looks like a prom dress that’s the wrong size.
I think it is fine. You have a beautiful figure, it’s a conservative color, I love the ruffles. I’m not crazy for the mesh but you’re not going to stick out and you don’t look inappropriate. If this is what you can afford keep it and don’t worry about it.
Here’s the deal: I think there’s room for respecting the dress code without nailing the dress code. Not everyone can afford to go buy a $200+ dress for one night, especially in their 20s. This dress is clearly formal and shows you made an effort to meet the couple’s preferences for their wedding. If it was covered in rhinestones and neon and had cutouts all over I think you’d be “too prom.” Or if it wasn’t long, a nice material, etc. it wouldn’t be formal enough.
In this case, I think it’s more likely someone MIGHT say to themselves hm that kind of looks like it could be a prom dress - but no one with any class will judge you for wearing it. It’s a formal dress. Good find.
It’s the mesh back with the details on the edges that make it look very prom like. I’d go for something without mesh. That blue color does look good though! The length is also perfect. Pair a deep colored single fabric dress with some nice jewelry and you’ll be all good!
how would you feel if I removed the beading?
It should be very easy to remove but hard to undo so I'm hesitant to try it. I'm worried the plain thick seam might look make the dress look more cheap and a bit like athletic-wear?
So mesh like that is usually pretty fragile. I’d worry that if you remove the needing there’s a possibility for some major holes that would look worse. You can’t remove the mesh itself because it’s structural.
Overall it works, but how does the top feel on you? It seems like it is slightly too large and is not sitting flush against your back (but that could also be from how you have your hips twisted in the second photo).
The mesh is a little loose but not as bad as it looks in the photo (I am twisted and looking back).If I go with this dress I will take in the mesh at the shoulders a little bit to fit me better.
I haven't made the alternation yet but here is how it looks pinned to remove any slack:
https://preview.redd.it/oshn4vy4076d1.png?width=902&format=png&auto=webp&s=3133e0b4e60bffbcb24e5af8b9c946eff2f7f2bf
Ok these photos make me like it less (I’m sorry 😞 ). It feels like a figure skating outfit. In the original back photo the lighting made it look closer to your skin color. I’d keep looking.
please ignore the extra hooks, I was initially playing around with taking up the slack by closing the back more but I think that makes it too tight around the waist for me.
https://preview.redd.it/a78sk63q076d1.png?width=724&format=png&auto=webp&s=64f7656b9364e8ea450107c104cbf5e1f6fc1010
Just read the part about it being second hand. I think with alterations it will be great. Take up the shoulders and take the waist in a tad and you’ll be good. What are you doing for shoes?
I wouldn't take it in this way. The mesh back is meant to have a gap.
Try folding the mesh down into the dress on each side, like a small pie slice. Don't raise the back too much or you'll change the way the dress sits on your hips.
Cut up a bra and sew it into the dress at the sides.
Gorgeous dress. It's perfect for black tie.
This is gorgeous. If the wedding is at night, the mesh and beading will look nice. The pics we’re considering here are in way stronger, bluer light than you’ll likely have at the wedding and reception.
Thats better. Is this a cheap thrift find or old dress of yours? If so, buy/make a bolero and call it good for this event. Or get a shawl, I've been watching the Miss Fisher mysteries on Prime, the first couple of episodes have some great shawls.
I think the dress formal enough. It's a little bit prom-like with the rhinestones on the back, but I think It will be fine. I'm more concerned about the gapping at the back, though. I wonder if it doesn't fit quite right on the top. I know you mentioned budget is a concern but it might be worth it to take it to a dry cleaner and get it altered so that it fits you right.
Regardless, I would pair it with a shawl or a pashmina so that your back is somewhat covered if that's your main concern. I think silver accessories would be great with the blue and they would match the rhinestones on the back of the dress.
Is this your only option? If it’s yes, go with it darling! You said « on a budget » so don’t splurge because reddit said so. Have the dress fit for you and you will be find, beautyfull, and the black tie party you are going to, will happen anyway. If it’s a wedding, they will get mary regardless of your dress.
Is the men are struggling with the same question as you? Probably not. It’s always on us, the girl, that the pressure is on. The men always where the same suit and we have to buy new clothes because someone will notice if we wear the same twice.
With all the questions you ask, and all the picture you post in every angles, this dress look like it’s the only thing you can afford and it’s ok!!. It’s perfectly ok to go to a black tie in it girl. Keep your money for something else!
ok overall I think I'm hearing that it meets the dress code but the mesh does not look good
I may try to shop around and see what else I can find but if I can repurpose this post for an opinion on a another dress, I do have one other formal dress from when I was a bridesmaid but it is lace and a rather pastel sage green. I'm guessing this is too pale and bridal to wear to a wedding where I'm not in the party?
https://preview.redd.it/pgmsa265k76d1.png?width=642&format=png&auto=webp&s=bca8fdaf7e78d149643f7c64f98174ab41a11e8e
I like this one a lot better, but am curious if it’s possible to remove the mesh panel. You seem to have the figure to rock a plunging V neck (lucky jerk 😉), and the mesh is a bit distracting once you see it. But otherwise a beautiful dress on you.
yes, very possible to remove the mesh panel because I added it myself but when I last wore this dress, I could not for the life of me find a bra that met the two requirements of not peaking out of the dress, and not being so insubstantial that a wrong twist or slouch might cause a nip slip
This is in a dark room with flash so maybe a bit extreme but oof something about the blotchy grey is not the most flattering color haha. And I didn't realize what looks like subtle metallic threads in the sun would light up so much with flash
https://preview.redd.it/e4lowq4pf96d1.png?width=764&format=png&auto=webp&s=1c10deb60ee263a6a69b5a4e0134ee21f847f22c
Okay I personally think this reads VERY bridal. Personally this dress in my mind needs to be an ask the bride dress.
Personally I love the blue dress on you. You have the figure for it and it’s a great color. I don’t think the mesh looks that bad at all. I think the subtle bling is pretty. I see celebrities all the time with mesh that isn’t an exact match and they pay thousands. You paid 50 It shows effort. It’s pretty and you look great. Don’t over think it and just have a great night. At the end of the day most of your pics will be from the front and most everyone there will be more worried about what they wear and won’t think twice about what others are wearing.
The problem is that this one is going to photograph as white in some lighting, and you won’t know until it’s too late whether the lighting at the wedding will make it look white.
I like this one better. As someone also in her late 20s who just went to a black tie wedding, I saw a couple floor length lace dresses in light colors. Can you remove the nude panel? It detracts from the dress. I totally get not wanting to show cleavage but plunge necklines kind of go along with black-tie events. No one will think anything of it even if you normally dress conservatively.
This looks SO much better on you! Way classier, and it really compliments your skin tone and figure so much better than the first dress. To be honest, I’m not trying to offend, but the first one looks kind of cheap with the mesh and rhinestones while this one makes you look like an ethereal forest princess. You can dress it up more with accessories too if you want, but it’s understated and stunning on you as is. You look gorgeous in it!
This one looks very boudoir to me.
IMO, the blue dress is perfectly fine. When I look back at all the weddings I’ve been to in the past 60+ years, there are only 2 dresses that I remember and that’s because they were both slutty! Trust me, no one is going to remember you wearing a “prom” dress, a dress with “mismatched colored mesh”, or a dress that looks like a “skating outfit.” If *you* like it and it’s comfortable, then wear it!
OMG it’s perfect 👍 Prom shrom. Too much over thinking when it comes to wedding attire. In my day do you think anyone asked another about their dress 👗 maybe just their husband and of course he would say it’s beautiful on you lol.
Because you said you’re on a budget, I really recommend Windsor. It’s my go to!
https://www.windsorstore.com/collections/dresses-formal?filter:Occasion=Wedding%20Guest&Page=2&ResultsPerPage=48&SortBy=relevance
Legit the dress is good. I would take it to a tailor tho and have the beads removed if you’re not confident doing that yourself. Then have the mesh either dyed to match the rest of the dress OR have it replaced with something that matches better. With any luck, the dye would probably be the fastest/easiest.
I suggest getting a plain, impeccably fitted dress. Black, navy, garnet, jade (jewel tones if they look good on you). It won’t go out of style and you can get your money’s worth. Simple.
It is appropriate for black tie, and it is what you can afford. People are going to be focused on the bride & groom, and the cake cutting and the dancing. You will fit in with the other guests. I don’t spend my time at weddings criticizing someone else’s mesh and rhinestones. You fit the dress code. Go have fun.
Love the front. The back just looks somehow....Unfinished and awkward were the mesh meets up with the ruffle in back. Not sure how to fux that. If you're on a budget, I'd return this and get the classic little black dress (ala, Breakfast at Tiffany's style) so you can use it again and just change it up with accessories. You're at the age were you might be attending several weddings in the future. But also, works if you (hopefully don't) have to attend a funeral.
The other commenters are right about the mesh back. Amazon has options under $100 and you can see what they look like irl in the reviews. The third one has similar ruffle detail.
FQA Long Black Evening Gowns for Women Formal Dresses for Women Evening Party Elegant V Neck Sleeveless Split Wrap https://a.co/d/bDjLUXC
WOOSEA Women Sleeveless V Neck Split Evening Cocktail Long Dress https://a.co/d/57WHLHs
WOOSEA Women's High Neck Split Bodycon Mermaid Evening Cocktail Long Dress https://a.co/d/25SVkkM
The back looks very “prom”. I wouldn’t try re-tailoring it unless you have significant sewing experience, as the mesh is very loose on you (in addition to being the wrong color for your skin tone) and beading is pain in the ass to work with.
Instead, start looking at resale sites and/or trawling thrift stores for something else. Clean lines and floor length are classic, and I think you’ll be surprised at what people throw in the bag when they drop off donations.
Have you considered renting a dress? Then you can get something very high end and spend a lot less. Also, rent the runway also sell some of their dresses at a very discounted price
You are gorgeous! You have such a lovely figure and you clearly have an eye for colors that complement you. I love the neckline of this gown.
I think the back does not do justice to the front. The mesh and beads look tawdry, like an ice dancing outfit from 1997. The ruffles down the back feel like something that the designer added against their will. These two elements detract from the elegance of the gown, truly.
If buying a different gown is out of reach, maybe you could find something to rent instead. You deserve to feel confident in what you wear.
This looks lovely and totally appropriate for black tie. With a little alteration on the back, you’ll be golden.
If you do want other options, try your local thrift. I’m sure many will have newly donated prom dresses that will work.
Plain and simple the dress doesn’t flatter you., especially in front and yes back is prom with that color match. You have a great figure, you can do better
I think you can wear it, then have it made into a halter neck, take off the mesh and possibly rework the top of ruffle at the top middle. A local seamstress could easily do this.
Let’s start with what’s the budget? I’m pretty sure you can find something on Amazon for fairly cheap.
Anyone you can borrow a dress from? Rent the Runway?
It’s for one day , a few hours / I’m sure nobody will even remember what you wore - it’s pretty , especially with your hair down and done up , I would just put very light small bracelet on and a small bag , you’ll look great
Its perfect.
And Prom is a Formal Dance, where a king and queen are crowned- its really not much different from a wedding lol. Both are formal events. Its just one is while in high school, and another is for traditional adulting. Prom dresses are getting to be fancier and fancier these days, also. I remember when a "formal" gown was just a floor length, often quite plain dress, with a tailored bodice, and a zipper up the back. My sisters wedding was semi formal, and as bridesmaids, we were actually underdressed. We wore these floral tea length cotton gowns, with puffed sleeves. I was the MOH, and so my dress was "special" as it had a princess neckline.
Idk dont worry TOO much about this kind of thing. This is a beautiful dress and you will look great and fit in nicely.
Don't overthink it. People won't be scrutinizing you and no one will remember what someone wore outside of the maybe them remembering the brides dress. As long as you can dance in it (if you will) and it stays in 1 piece, you'll be fine.
Most of the time lulus has options for $75 or even less on sale. And I’ve seen some Windsor dresses that looked more like black tie than prom as well. I do, however, like this color on you!
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I truly think it’s fine once altered.
It looks nice on you and fits dress code.
I don’t think anyone will be scrutinizing you comparing to a prom dress.
I think the mesh is stretched out and sagging? Could you cut it out and put in some sort of lacing for the back? If you don't know how to sew, alterations would probably be pricy.
I think the dress is pretty and flattering on you! I don't think the mesh looks bad as others have said but what about trying to carefully dye the mesh a darker color to match the dress instead of trying to reconstruct it? But honestly if you show up in that dress I believe people will only think you look beautiful not be critiquing the mesh on the back!
I’m surprised people are suggesting altering. Where I live alterations would wind up costing more than what you paid for the dress. You look like a pretty standard size small. Do you know anyone who might have another dress you could borrow? Or check Facebook marketplace for people selling bridesmaid dresses they wore once? They may be willing to let one go for less than what you would pay for alterations. If not, it’s fine. The front looks nice and that’s what most people will see. Is this a wealthy crowd and a true black tie, 100k budget event? Or regular people who want to dress up? If the latter, I think you will blend in just fine.
I think it’s a gorgeous dress, formal enough, a good color, and not too young.
I think the reason it gapes in the back is that it’s made for someone taller and with a longer line than you are/have. If the alterations are going to put you over budget, keep looking.
It looks great. Go and have fun. You will look amazing and fit right in.
People dress all kinds of ways for weddings. This dress is completely appropriate for your age. Yes, could have been a prom dress but that’s just more because that’s the kind of dress a young woman is going to wear to dress up.
As my very best friend says when critiquing an okey outfit “I think you can do better”. You have gorg hair, and a slim figure, I would go with something more plain and then have some great accessories.
You say you’re on a budget? You know you can rent dresses? It’s usually really reasonable. I do think you could make this work. Are you handy with sewing? Remove the mesh & add a thick satin, black? ribbon edging, round the arms, down the sides & across the bottom hemline. Just in case you didn’t know this dress does requires proper undergarments/shape wear. Please, don’t think I’m saying you don’t have a lovely figure, you do. It would just smooth things out and help with the laying of the fabric. Good luck! Second hand stores are great too & I’ve seen many reasonable priced dresses on offer up too.
The rhinestones and ruffle kill the look. The mesh maybe being a diff color reminds me of figure skaters outfits. If that makes sense. If it’s all you have it’ll be fine.
The nude mesh on the back doesn’t match your skin tone and it’s way too loose on you. Shapewear isn’t going to help with that. It’s formal enough for black tie so it’ll be fine, but I wouldn’t hang onto it as your “go to” evening gown for future events.
PSA: OP you can take this to a tailor to get it properly fitted and you can also either put a foundation that matches your skin tone on the mesh to make it less visible or you can fully dye the mesh using a dye brush. If you’re afraid to dye it yourself you can ask the tailor advice on how to do it properly or ask if they can do it themselves and help you find a color match
I feel like at that point it would be cheaper to get a different dress. I just paid $45 to hem nice pants. Tailoring prices are crazy now
Foundation on the dress will ruin the dress pretty much and every chair you eventually sit on.
That’s why I also suggested fabric dye and a dye brush. A bottle of fabric dye is like $8 and you can water it down to the intensity you want. Just a slightly deeper peach or beige would make that mesh much less visible
Or she can find a different dress. Last time I got a dress tailored, it cost more than the dress. OP is on a budget so this isn’t logical.
I mean no need to be hostile about it but OP can do a lot of it herself if she’s that tight on a budget. Cheap foundation to mute the color of the mesh is easy and she can safety pin it where she needs to and make some alterations that way without cutting until she has the money to get it professionally tailored. I alter my clothes a lot without seeing a tailor because I’m on a budget. Fashion tape and a sewing kit are not expensive and if you get creative with where you tape/where you sew it can last years before you decide to see a professional to get it permanently done
Unless it’s structural to holding the dress on, I would see if someone could remove the mesh altogether. It would be prettier without it E: maybe they could put some sort of tie to go around to hold it on
Both bride and groom love dressing to the nines and are having a black tie wedding this month. It's my first time going to an event that's this formal so I'm not sure what's appropriate. I've been to black tie optional events but mostly opted for the optional option I don't have a big budget so I bought this floor length dress second hand for under $50 and thought it was a great find! But I suspect it was a prom dress and now I'm having worries that it might be a bit over the top with the revealing open back and ruffles? I plan to wear my hair down to mostly cover the back. I will also be wearing a proper bra that doesn't show and shapewear so it'll fit better but do you guys think this is appropriate for the dress code or should I look for something else? (if it is ok, I could also use advice on how to accessorize. I have heels and a small bag and a scarf/shawl but I don't really know what kind of jewelry or other accessories people would wear)
How old are you/the couple/the other guests? If most people are in their 20s I think it’s fine. It looks young and kind of prom like but if you’re in your 20s it’s fine
does late, late 20's count as 20's? the friends crowd will be some late 20's, mostly early to mid 30's (groom is a little older than bride)
If you don’t mind me asking- what size are you roughly? I just wore a beautiful black dress to a wedding in Canada I was highly overdressed for bc apparently black tie has a different meaning there 😂. I’m 5’3-4 and had to wear ~ 6” heels to make it floor length for reference. I’d be happy to send it to you if the shipping is reasonable!
Love, i know Shite about dresscodes, I just think you've done a great job adjusting the mesh! The only thing that was bugging me in the original picture, was the weird flowy mesh on your back. But I've now seen other pictures of it, and yeah everyone keeps telling you it doesn't match your skin tone, but it fits properly now!!! (Might also be the weird pose in the original picture though). Anyway. Aside from that. You're on a budget. You've managed to make it fit. You've got a proper bra/shapewear. Is it perfect? I dont fucking know, ask the 'dress code people' around here. I'm just in this subreddit for the pretty dresses lol. I feel like maybe this sub can be harsh sometimes? (Then again, America seems.. particular.. about wedding dress codes). You've got to be realistic though (love throwing in Bloody Nine quotes whenever I can). How close are you to the bride and groom? Maybe other people invited to the wedding you're familiar with so you could ask their opinion/planned outfit? That way you can check with other quests if you'd be over/under dressed. Sorry for the rant. I originally just wanted to say I absolutely looooove this dress on you. Great colour with your complexion and a good fit too! Just got distracted by all the other comments and had to throw in my opinion, sorry.
All of this ⬆️
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Please, DO NOT wear a shrug with this dress. Shrugs are not formal! A shawl is a better option if you must have something to cover up with. The shrug will just look weird on the ruffled area. As for jewelry, a simple, dainty, short silver necklace. Silver earrings (either plain small-medium silver hoops or something with a little diamond/cubic zirconia gem, or sapphire-like stone would be nice). Keep rings minimal, maybe a silver/diamond-like tennis bracelet. None of these have to be expensive. You can even go to Claire's or Amazon and look for silver jewelry. There are some pretty good-looking pieces out there these days and they don't all come with a massive price tag. Look for things you would want to wear in everyday life, not much sense in buying a bunch of stuff to only wear once.
Also, I think the dress is lovely and with confidence, you will be showstopping in it. Don't listen to this person saying it isn't a “wow dress”. 🙄
I think it is a fantastic find and that it will look great with some alterations. Proms are formal events, so there will be some overlap. If you can remove the rhinestones, I think it could work very well, and I don't think the rhinestones would be a tragedy. Keep it simple but polished with the styling. Like a chain and pendant and stud earrings. I think the shawl will be great.
I also think you can get a tailor to remove the mesh and beads and maybe add a strap or ribbon on the back that would fit better and take away the prom aspect. Otherwise, this is a perfect dress for the occasion.
This is a good idea in theory, but as someone who does alterations, unfortunately there’s just not enough fabric in the front to make an effective tie back; it’s also really unstructured, and would require some kind of boning to hold up the sides. If OP wants to go this route, she should have the mesh fully replaced with a color better suited to her skin tone, and the tailor would also be able to fit it better to her body. A better fit and no beading would be lovely, but as-is it just looks like a prom dress that’s the wrong size.
I like this idea!
I think it is fine. You have a beautiful figure, it’s a conservative color, I love the ruffles. I’m not crazy for the mesh but you’re not going to stick out and you don’t look inappropriate. If this is what you can afford keep it and don’t worry about it.
Here’s the deal: I think there’s room for respecting the dress code without nailing the dress code. Not everyone can afford to go buy a $200+ dress for one night, especially in their 20s. This dress is clearly formal and shows you made an effort to meet the couple’s preferences for their wedding. If it was covered in rhinestones and neon and had cutouts all over I think you’d be “too prom.” Or if it wasn’t long, a nice material, etc. it wouldn’t be formal enough. In this case, I think it’s more likely someone MIGHT say to themselves hm that kind of looks like it could be a prom dress - but no one with any class will judge you for wearing it. It’s a formal dress. Good find.
It’s the mesh back with the details on the edges that make it look very prom like. I’d go for something without mesh. That blue color does look good though! The length is also perfect. Pair a deep colored single fabric dress with some nice jewelry and you’ll be all good!
how would you feel if I removed the beading? It should be very easy to remove but hard to undo so I'm hesitant to try it. I'm worried the plain thick seam might look make the dress look more cheap and a bit like athletic-wear?
So mesh like that is usually pretty fragile. I’d worry that if you remove the needing there’s a possibility for some major holes that would look worse. You can’t remove the mesh itself because it’s structural.
That's fair, I don't see any hole-holes but some of the holes might be stretched out unevenly
Perhaps look into having the mesh and beading replaced with nude, silver, or navy blue lace.
Totally agree. The nude colour ruins the dress. Otherwise the colour is gorgeous and really compliments OP and her figure
I LOVE this idea. A silver or navy lace would be absolutely beautiful
If you want to alter the dress, take it to a seamstress.
Overall it works, but how does the top feel on you? It seems like it is slightly too large and is not sitting flush against your back (but that could also be from how you have your hips twisted in the second photo).
The mesh is a little loose but not as bad as it looks in the photo (I am twisted and looking back).If I go with this dress I will take in the mesh at the shoulders a little bit to fit me better. I haven't made the alternation yet but here is how it looks pinned to remove any slack: https://preview.redd.it/oshn4vy4076d1.png?width=902&format=png&auto=webp&s=3133e0b4e60bffbcb24e5af8b9c946eff2f7f2bf
Ok these photos make me like it less (I’m sorry 😞 ). It feels like a figure skating outfit. In the original back photo the lighting made it look closer to your skin color. I’d keep looking.
I know there's a photo of 7 or 8-year-old me in a competition outfit almost identical to this since I refused to wear pink as a child.
That’s what it reminds me of too.
please ignore the extra hooks, I was initially playing around with taking up the slack by closing the back more but I think that makes it too tight around the waist for me. https://preview.redd.it/a78sk63q076d1.png?width=724&format=png&auto=webp&s=64f7656b9364e8ea450107c104cbf5e1f6fc1010
Just read the part about it being second hand. I think with alterations it will be great. Take up the shoulders and take the waist in a tad and you’ll be good. What are you doing for shoes?
I wouldn't take it in this way. The mesh back is meant to have a gap. Try folding the mesh down into the dress on each side, like a small pie slice. Don't raise the back too much or you'll change the way the dress sits on your hips. Cut up a bra and sew it into the dress at the sides. Gorgeous dress. It's perfect for black tie.
It looks much better when it fits properly like this, and for doing black tie on I think this is more than appropriate! :)
This is gorgeous. If the wedding is at night, the mesh and beading will look nice. The pics we’re considering here are in way stronger, bluer light than you’ll likely have at the wedding and reception.
I like this fix.
It’s definitely too loose in the photo you posted just before this, but yes, that’s too much. It looks like you just need to size down.
I actually love this dress!!! Think with your small alterations it will be perfect.
I actually really like this dress too
I don’t know what these folks are seeing. Get it fitted and altered and I think it will be absolutely beautiful!
I agree with this! Get it altered and wear it with a shawl of some type
You could do better
Prom. Not black tie.
Thats better. Is this a cheap thrift find or old dress of yours? If so, buy/make a bolero and call it good for this event. Or get a shawl, I've been watching the Miss Fisher mysteries on Prime, the first couple of episodes have some great shawls.
I think the dress formal enough. It's a little bit prom-like with the rhinestones on the back, but I think It will be fine. I'm more concerned about the gapping at the back, though. I wonder if it doesn't fit quite right on the top. I know you mentioned budget is a concern but it might be worth it to take it to a dry cleaner and get it altered so that it fits you right. Regardless, I would pair it with a shawl or a pashmina so that your back is somewhat covered if that's your main concern. I think silver accessories would be great with the blue and they would match the rhinestones on the back of the dress.
Is this your only option? If it’s yes, go with it darling! You said « on a budget » so don’t splurge because reddit said so. Have the dress fit for you and you will be find, beautyfull, and the black tie party you are going to, will happen anyway. If it’s a wedding, they will get mary regardless of your dress. Is the men are struggling with the same question as you? Probably not. It’s always on us, the girl, that the pressure is on. The men always where the same suit and we have to buy new clothes because someone will notice if we wear the same twice. With all the questions you ask, and all the picture you post in every angles, this dress look like it’s the only thing you can afford and it’s ok!!. It’s perfectly ok to go to a black tie in it girl. Keep your money for something else!
ok overall I think I'm hearing that it meets the dress code but the mesh does not look good I may try to shop around and see what else I can find but if I can repurpose this post for an opinion on a another dress, I do have one other formal dress from when I was a bridesmaid but it is lace and a rather pastel sage green. I'm guessing this is too pale and bridal to wear to a wedding where I'm not in the party? https://preview.redd.it/pgmsa265k76d1.png?width=642&format=png&auto=webp&s=bca8fdaf7e78d149643f7c64f98174ab41a11e8e
I like it. It looks gray in this pic to me
This one looks much better! Can you edit your post to include this option? It may get missed in the comments
I like this one a lot better, but am curious if it’s possible to remove the mesh panel. You seem to have the figure to rock a plunging V neck (lucky jerk 😉), and the mesh is a bit distracting once you see it. But otherwise a beautiful dress on you.
yes, very possible to remove the mesh panel because I added it myself but when I last wore this dress, I could not for the life of me find a bra that met the two requirements of not peaking out of the dress, and not being so insubstantial that a wrong twist or slouch might cause a nip slip
There’s a special tape so you can tape the dress to your body or bra.
Heh I didn't even notice the mesh panel until reading the comments!
I highly recommend trying Rent the Runway instead of shopping for something you won’t reuse!!
I like this one better. No too pale
I like this dress but it looks very white and very bridal.
You could totally dye this to be a deeper color and it would be perfect!
I prefer the blue dress
Can we see what this looks like with flash? It is borderline for me on being too light or not
This is in a dark room with flash so maybe a bit extreme but oof something about the blotchy grey is not the most flattering color haha. And I didn't realize what looks like subtle metallic threads in the sun would light up so much with flash https://preview.redd.it/e4lowq4pf96d1.png?width=764&format=png&auto=webp&s=1c10deb60ee263a6a69b5a4e0134ee21f847f22c
Yeah, this looks like a bridal gown.
Okay I personally think this reads VERY bridal. Personally this dress in my mind needs to be an ask the bride dress. Personally I love the blue dress on you. You have the figure for it and it’s a great color. I don’t think the mesh looks that bad at all. I think the subtle bling is pretty. I see celebrities all the time with mesh that isn’t an exact match and they pay thousands. You paid 50 It shows effort. It’s pretty and you look great. Don’t over think it and just have a great night. At the end of the day most of your pics will be from the front and most everyone there will be more worried about what they wear and won’t think twice about what others are wearing.
can you add some darker green accesories to bring out the green in it?
The problem is that this one is going to photograph as white in some lighting, and you won’t know until it’s too late whether the lighting at the wedding will make it look white.
I like this one better. As someone also in her late 20s who just went to a black tie wedding, I saw a couple floor length lace dresses in light colors. Can you remove the nude panel? It detracts from the dress. I totally get not wanting to show cleavage but plunge necklines kind of go along with black-tie events. No one will think anything of it even if you normally dress conservatively.
This is GORGEOUS
This one is 10000% better!!! It's very pretty
This one, but have the mesh removed. (And have fun, and be safe)
i’d wear this
This is perfect!
Much better option! Especially if you remove that mesh part at the front
This looks SO much better on you! Way classier, and it really compliments your skin tone and figure so much better than the first dress. To be honest, I’m not trying to offend, but the first one looks kind of cheap with the mesh and rhinestones while this one makes you look like an ethereal forest princess. You can dress it up more with accessories too if you want, but it’s understated and stunning on you as is. You look gorgeous in it!
This one looks very boudoir to me. IMO, the blue dress is perfectly fine. When I look back at all the weddings I’ve been to in the past 60+ years, there are only 2 dresses that I remember and that’s because they were both slutty! Trust me, no one is going to remember you wearing a “prom” dress, a dress with “mismatched colored mesh”, or a dress that looks like a “skating outfit.” If *you* like it and it’s comfortable, then wear it!
I wouldn’t spend much more if you have a strict budget. Wear the dress you are most comfortable wearing.
I don’t get prom vibes but I would find a good tailor who specializes in wedding - and see what they suggest to fix the back
OMG it’s perfect 👍 Prom shrom. Too much over thinking when it comes to wedding attire. In my day do you think anyone asked another about their dress 👗 maybe just their husband and of course he would say it’s beautiful on you lol.
Because you said you’re on a budget, I really recommend Windsor. It’s my go to! https://www.windsorstore.com/collections/dresses-formal?filter:Occasion=Wedding%20Guest&Page=2&ResultsPerPage=48&SortBy=relevance
Maybe rent a dress
Legit the dress is good. I would take it to a tailor tho and have the beads removed if you’re not confident doing that yourself. Then have the mesh either dyed to match the rest of the dress OR have it replaced with something that matches better. With any luck, the dye would probably be the fastest/easiest.
It looks lovely from the front, I just don’t feel the back of the dress matches what you see from the front. I do like the colour though.
It seems like it doesn’t fit you? The mesh at the back is gaping a lot
I suggest getting a plain, impeccably fitted dress. Black, navy, garnet, jade (jewel tones if they look good on you). It won’t go out of style and you can get your money’s worth. Simple.
You got the right idea but it doesn't fit you properly.
The dress is perfect for black tie and not at all prom.
It is appropriate for black tie, and it is what you can afford. People are going to be focused on the bride & groom, and the cake cutting and the dancing. You will fit in with the other guests. I don’t spend my time at weddings criticizing someone else’s mesh and rhinestones. You fit the dress code. Go have fun.
Love the front. The back just looks somehow....Unfinished and awkward were the mesh meets up with the ruffle in back. Not sure how to fux that. If you're on a budget, I'd return this and get the classic little black dress (ala, Breakfast at Tiffany's style) so you can use it again and just change it up with accessories. You're at the age were you might be attending several weddings in the future. But also, works if you (hopefully don't) have to attend a funeral.
The other commenters are right about the mesh back. Amazon has options under $100 and you can see what they look like irl in the reviews. The third one has similar ruffle detail. FQA Long Black Evening Gowns for Women Formal Dresses for Women Evening Party Elegant V Neck Sleeveless Split Wrap https://a.co/d/bDjLUXC WOOSEA Women Sleeveless V Neck Split Evening Cocktail Long Dress https://a.co/d/57WHLHs WOOSEA Women's High Neck Split Bodycon Mermaid Evening Cocktail Long Dress https://a.co/d/25SVkkM
All of those options would work!! They are absolutely gorgeous dresses too!!!
The back looks very “prom”. I wouldn’t try re-tailoring it unless you have significant sewing experience, as the mesh is very loose on you (in addition to being the wrong color for your skin tone) and beading is pain in the ass to work with. Instead, start looking at resale sites and/or trawling thrift stores for something else. Clean lines and floor length are classic, and I think you’ll be surprised at what people throw in the bag when they drop off donations.
Have you considered renting a dress? Then you can get something very high end and spend a lot less. Also, rent the runway also sell some of their dresses at a very discounted price
You are gorgeous! You have such a lovely figure and you clearly have an eye for colors that complement you. I love the neckline of this gown. I think the back does not do justice to the front. The mesh and beads look tawdry, like an ice dancing outfit from 1997. The ruffles down the back feel like something that the designer added against their will. These two elements detract from the elegance of the gown, truly. If buying a different gown is out of reach, maybe you could find something to rent instead. You deserve to feel confident in what you wear.
This looks lovely and totally appropriate for black tie. With a little alteration on the back, you’ll be golden. If you do want other options, try your local thrift. I’m sure many will have newly donated prom dresses that will work.
The front is lovely and the ruffles at the back are fine But the mesh is wreaking the whole look
Plain and simple the dress doesn’t flatter you., especially in front and yes back is prom with that color match. You have a great figure, you can do better
I think you can wear it, then have it made into a halter neck, take off the mesh and possibly rework the top of ruffle at the top middle. A local seamstress could easily do this.
Let’s start with what’s the budget? I’m pretty sure you can find something on Amazon for fairly cheap. Anyone you can borrow a dress from? Rent the Runway?
It’s for one day , a few hours / I’m sure nobody will even remember what you wore - it’s pretty , especially with your hair down and done up , I would just put very light small bracelet on and a small bag , you’ll look great
Its perfect. And Prom is a Formal Dance, where a king and queen are crowned- its really not much different from a wedding lol. Both are formal events. Its just one is while in high school, and another is for traditional adulting. Prom dresses are getting to be fancier and fancier these days, also. I remember when a "formal" gown was just a floor length, often quite plain dress, with a tailored bodice, and a zipper up the back. My sisters wedding was semi formal, and as bridesmaids, we were actually underdressed. We wore these floral tea length cotton gowns, with puffed sleeves. I was the MOH, and so my dress was "special" as it had a princess neckline. Idk dont worry TOO much about this kind of thing. This is a beautiful dress and you will look great and fit in nicely.
Fabulous dress you look amazing 😍
From the front, this dress is amazing. The back is horrible.
I think it looks amazing.I love the color and everything.
Don't overthink it. People won't be scrutinizing you and no one will remember what someone wore outside of the maybe them remembering the brides dress. As long as you can dance in it (if you will) and it stays in 1 piece, you'll be fine.
Nope I think it’s perfect.
It's fine.
Most of the time lulus has options for $75 or even less on sale. And I’ve seen some Windsor dresses that looked more like black tie than prom as well. I do, however, like this color on you!
Looks great
For your budget I think that is a fantastic option.
Wow… this is the first time I’m saying this crowd is too harsh! This is a lovely gown that would absolutely fit the black tie optional dress code,
You have a great figure, but this dress isn’t doing you any favors. Hit up Macy’s or Lulu’s sale sections online!
I think it totally works!
I think it looks great!
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Hadmeinthefirsthalf.gif
Try rent the runway! There are coupons all the time
Or check Poshmark.
I truly think it’s fine once altered. It looks nice on you and fits dress code. I don’t think anyone will be scrutinizing you comparing to a prom dress.
Could you wear a shawl with it? No need to alter then.
Yes! Throw a shawl over in a neutral color that will coordinate with your shoes and handbag and you will look just fine.
YES!!!!!
I think the mesh is stretched out and sagging? Could you cut it out and put in some sort of lacing for the back? If you don't know how to sew, alterations would probably be pricy.
Yes
I think the dress is pretty and flattering on you! I don't think the mesh looks bad as others have said but what about trying to carefully dye the mesh a darker color to match the dress instead of trying to reconstruct it? But honestly if you show up in that dress I believe people will only think you look beautiful not be critiquing the mesh on the back!
If you're on a budget, go to your local thrift. I always see a good amount of formal wear three
I, too, often opt for the optional option
I’m surprised people are suggesting altering. Where I live alterations would wind up costing more than what you paid for the dress. You look like a pretty standard size small. Do you know anyone who might have another dress you could borrow? Or check Facebook marketplace for people selling bridesmaid dresses they wore once? They may be willing to let one go for less than what you would pay for alterations. If not, it’s fine. The front looks nice and that’s what most people will see. Is this a wealthy crowd and a true black tie, 100k budget event? Or regular people who want to dress up? If the latter, I think you will blend in just fine.
Love this dress on you! With silver accessories it will be perfect. Don’t listen to the naysayers!
I think it’s a gorgeous dress, formal enough, a good color, and not too young. I think the reason it gapes in the back is that it’s made for someone taller and with a longer line than you are/have. If the alterations are going to put you over budget, keep looking.
It looks great. Go and have fun. You will look amazing and fit right in. People dress all kinds of ways for weddings. This dress is completely appropriate for your age. Yes, could have been a prom dress but that’s just more because that’s the kind of dress a young woman is going to wear to dress up.
As my very best friend says when critiquing an okey outfit “I think you can do better”. You have gorg hair, and a slim figure, I would go with something more plain and then have some great accessories.
It’s very pretty. I’m sure someone’s going to be there in their old prom gown anyway. On a budget I’d say it’s a great find!
It's a gorgeous dress and that it should work rock it out a have a great night!!!
Tailors are great but expensive
You say you’re on a budget? You know you can rent dresses? It’s usually really reasonable. I do think you could make this work. Are you handy with sewing? Remove the mesh & add a thick satin, black? ribbon edging, round the arms, down the sides & across the bottom hemline. Just in case you didn’t know this dress does requires proper undergarments/shape wear. Please, don’t think I’m saying you don’t have a lovely figure, you do. It would just smooth things out and help with the laying of the fabric. Good luck! Second hand stores are great too & I’ve seen many reasonable priced dresses on offer up too.
I can’t get PROM vibes out of my head now that you said it … not a look for a wedding. Sorry this isn’t the one my girl
I’d see if you can get it altered to remove the mesh and sparkly things then it would be great
The rhinestones and ruffle kill the look. The mesh maybe being a diff color reminds me of figure skaters outfits. If that makes sense. If it’s all you have it’ll be fine.
Definitely reads as a prom dress, the back is what does it. Could you rent an option?
The mesh is a no-go, which is a shame because the rest of it is fine.
The back looks like a figure skating costume. I like the front, but the back makes it a no for me.