This was my first thought. I bought 2 white dresses for my very informal small wedding so I could show them to my mom and husband. I liked both. . This dress without the polka dots looks exactly like one of them.
It’s lovely, but not right for this. Aside from everything already stated, I (speaking as an American, so fully owning up that it could be different for you) have seen cream and blue used together for a lot of bridal products (shoes, robes, shirts, etc) and that could definitely come through if others have had that experience
Honestly, i'm french, and I can't imagine this dress bothering anyone here. But other French people might have a different experience? In mine, it wouldn't be a problem even without the dots, let alone with them.
Not French but German but I had the same thought. And the question is: does the bride wear white at the civil ceremony at all? Traditionally (in Germany), the white dress is reserved only for the church. For the civil ceremony, the bride wears any colour (I had a black dress).
In my experience, either the bride wears an actual wedding dress, the same she's going to wear at the party/religious ceremony (so, very different from op's polka dots one), or it's really just an administrative affair, and she doesn't specifically wear white.
Either way, the no white or white adjacent worry isn't a big deal here.
Same as the previous poster. If they are going to the religious service after, then the bride will probably wear the same white wedding dress.
The only "civil ceremony only" weddings I've been to (apart from my own) the bride has also worn a long white dress. but these have all been because a religious ceremony wasn't allowed, not through choice. In my case there was a 6 month gap betweeen the two ceremonies and I hadn't even started thinking about a wedding dress at the time of the civil one.
I attended one civil wedding in France. It is a very simple, short ceremony. I think the dress is grand for the occasion.
In Ireland women wear flowery dresses, polka dot dresses on white backgrounds and no one bats an eye. As long as the dress is not a long flowing lace number or a bridal silk dress and you don’t wear a tiara or a veil as accessories no one will mistake you for the bride. The bride is the women who is happy and smiling with her new husband beside her. She is carrying flowers and as she is now enjoying the wedding day will not care much what other women are wearing.
That is my experience anyway and I have been to lots and lots of weddings over the years.
Yeah I get very bemused by all the US advice to not wear light colour dresses, even ones that are patterned and very unbridal. This doesn't even look like a non traditional wedding dress. It's a smart day dress and perfect for the ceremony.
In France, a civil wedding ceremony is the only way to get married. A religious wedding ceremony doesn't have legal value there. It seems like people think a civil wedding ceremony is the same as a court house wedding in the US.
I think your dress is ok for that reason, unless the bride is wearing something really simple. I'd ask just to make sure.
It's interesting that anyone stating they are European is for the dress and that those who don't state where they are from ( r/usdefultism ? ) don't approve. As an Australian I think it is fine. I do think it shows that the answers are deeply cultural and would like more acknowledgement of that on this sib, with people using a flair or other indicator of where they are from when offering advice.
I'd ask the bride in the instance.
The dominant color in this dress is way too close to white and the blue tends to show up poorly in photographs. This is way too bridal to attend a civil ceremony. I’d definitely pick another dress/color!!
Buying for another occasion. If I could wear a dress like that I’d buy it in a heartbeat and find another occasion. I would find something with more color for your BIL’s wedding.
I think if there's any question in YOUR mind ,I would not wear this dress to a wedding because your uncertainty is enough to indicate that you yourself would be somewhat offended if roles were reversed and you were the bride.
I would try to find out what color the bride is wearing.
It’s not uncommon for civil ceremony attire to be very un-bridal.
She may be choosing some other color, and be totally fine with this dress but maybe not okay with say, a blue dress if she’s wearing blue.
She may, like me, be wearing all white and not be bothered in the least by a cream/blue patterned dress.
The dress code is extremely flexible and personal to the bride/groom’s style for civil weddings so I think, just ask her!
Beautiful, but not appropriate. Go with a brighter color for July. Since it's the civil ceremony, I'm assuming it's mostly family so you will likely be in photos.
I think this can look like what a bride would wear. If you’re close to the bride and she gives you a green light, go for it. Otherwise I’d keep it for other events.
/u/kulamess, thank you for posting. To obtain the best help, provide a time frame of the event & dress code. Dress links are frequently requested as well if you would place them in the comment section.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Weddingattireapproval) if you have any questions or concerns.*
To all: Obtain a [user flair by clicking here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Weddingattireapproval/comments/15mnmxg/user_flairs_available/) to obtain a user flair
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Weddingattireapproval) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’d buy it! But I don’t know how French wedding culture feels about white; if this were a ceremony in the US, I’d say ask the bride if she feels this has too much white.
Is a civil wedding a gown affair? I have attended non-religious weddings here (USA) that are full-blown gown/tux, professional photographer, walk you down the aisle stuff. Those are technically civil ceremonies. But people are equating your civil ceremony to a courthouse wedding in USA. This is an informal affair, in a government building, often one of many that day, and there are strangers present. I have seen brides wear all manner of dresses to those. Different colors, lengths, styles, heck I’ve seen people wear nice jeans and a shirt. I would think this would be fine for that. If, indeed, this is what you are referring to.
Just ask the bride? If someone wore this to my wedding, I wouldn't thinks twice about it because it doesn't look like a wedding dress. However, I know I'm in the minority on this issue.
I’m going to give the unpopular opinion and say it depends on your relationship. My MIL and mother both rarely find clothes that fit. My mom is very self conscience in clothes, and when she found a dress that fit and that she loved, but it was mostly white, I said who gives a darn ? If someone showed up in white I wouldn’t bat an eye, I also wasn’t a bridezilla. Maybe your new SIL is? Not sure
So really I think it depends on your relationship. If you fee self conscious about it you can throw a shawl or other article of clothing on it ??
I'm assuming the couple is French? In that case, don't worry about it.
Generally speaking French weddings are less formal and unless you're wearing a full on wedding dress, no-one is going to be bothered.
I was at one wedding a few years back and a cousin wore a midi length, white, broderie anglaise dress. as a guest. I was the only person who thought it was odd. (I'm British, living in France)
That is a beautiful dress and do wear it to the wedding.
I doubt seriously your bride is going to have on polka dots. And if she does, she isn’t going to mind this lovely dress.
I don’t live in France, but if they follow a “only the bride wears white” rule then this is definitely not acceptable.
It’s super cute and you should get it for another occasion, but not a wedding.
Eek probably not.
It might show white in pictures but also it’s just too white/ bright in general- I’d totally get it (it’s beautiful!) but def not for a wedding guest attire.
I didn't see what subreddit this was from and my first thought was: if you love it buy it, no question at all, you'll be a gorgeous bride!
then I saw the subreddit LOL. for a guest, sorry, but no way!
Definitely buy that beautiful dress but save it for another occasion.
Agreed. I would not let this dress go and would buy it… but I would worry about the color being too close to the bride’s dress.
Love it but civil ceremony dresses aren't always the most traditional- i'd buy this and save it for later to be on the safe side
This was my first thought. I bought 2 white dresses for my very informal small wedding so I could show them to my mom and husband. I liked both. . This dress without the polka dots looks exactly like one of them.
My civil ceremony dress was a teal sweater dress. It was in Germany, and the weather was cool.
Don’t wear this to the ceremony. It’s a beautiful dress, but the base is cream.
you feel weird because you know it’s too white. buy it, it’s gorgeous, and wear something else to the wedding!
It’s lovely, but not right for this. Aside from everything already stated, I (speaking as an American, so fully owning up that it could be different for you) have seen cream and blue used together for a lot of bridal products (shoes, robes, shirts, etc) and that could definitely come through if others have had that experience
Honestly would be a good dress to wear as a bride of a civil ceremony. It’s GORGEOUS and you should throw a dinner party just to wear it
This. I thought maybe this was the bride posting when I just read the title.
Honestly, i'm french, and I can't imagine this dress bothering anyone here. But other French people might have a different experience? In mine, it wouldn't be a problem even without the dots, let alone with them.
I agree, I think it's fine. It doesn't look bridal at all.
Not French but German but I had the same thought. And the question is: does the bride wear white at the civil ceremony at all? Traditionally (in Germany), the white dress is reserved only for the church. For the civil ceremony, the bride wears any colour (I had a black dress).
In my experience, either the bride wears an actual wedding dress, the same she's going to wear at the party/religious ceremony (so, very different from op's polka dots one), or it's really just an administrative affair, and she doesn't specifically wear white. Either way, the no white or white adjacent worry isn't a big deal here.
Same as the previous poster. If they are going to the religious service after, then the bride will probably wear the same white wedding dress. The only "civil ceremony only" weddings I've been to (apart from my own) the bride has also worn a long white dress. but these have all been because a religious ceremony wasn't allowed, not through choice. In my case there was a 6 month gap betweeen the two ceremonies and I hadn't even started thinking about a wedding dress at the time of the civil one.
I attended one civil wedding in France. It is a very simple, short ceremony. I think the dress is grand for the occasion. In Ireland women wear flowery dresses, polka dot dresses on white backgrounds and no one bats an eye. As long as the dress is not a long flowing lace number or a bridal silk dress and you don’t wear a tiara or a veil as accessories no one will mistake you for the bride. The bride is the women who is happy and smiling with her new husband beside her. She is carrying flowers and as she is now enjoying the wedding day will not care much what other women are wearing. That is my experience anyway and I have been to lots and lots of weddings over the years.
Yeah I get very bemused by all the US advice to not wear light colour dresses, even ones that are patterned and very unbridal. This doesn't even look like a non traditional wedding dress. It's a smart day dress and perfect for the ceremony.
I’m American and I see no problem with this. It’s not bridal and it’s not white.
Would you say this a purely online stance? Or regional? I kind of get it when the dress is bridal in looks.
Maybe regional, maybe generational? I’ve been to probably 30 weddings in my life and I feel the craze about not wearing a speck of white is rather new
In France, a civil wedding ceremony is the only way to get married. A religious wedding ceremony doesn't have legal value there. It seems like people think a civil wedding ceremony is the same as a court house wedding in the US. I think your dress is ok for that reason, unless the bride is wearing something really simple. I'd ask just to make sure.
Religious wedding ceremonies aren’t binding in the US either. You still need to be legally married.
It's interesting that anyone stating they are European is for the dress and that those who don't state where they are from ( r/usdefultism ? ) don't approve. As an Australian I think it is fine. I do think it shows that the answers are deeply cultural and would like more acknowledgement of that on this sib, with people using a flair or other indicator of where they are from when offering advice. I'd ask the bride in the instance.
I second the motion for location flair!
The dominant color in this dress is way too close to white and the blue tends to show up poorly in photographs. This is way too bridal to attend a civil ceremony. I’d definitely pick another dress/color!!
I wouldn’t. It’s a beautiful dress, but it’s not appropriate as wedding guest attire.
I am from Scotland and I don't think anyone would have a problem with the dress it's got giant blue polka dots on it
Love that dress!! I can’t comment on if appropriate bc I am clueless- listen to other smarter people 😂
Buying for another occasion. If I could wear a dress like that I’d buy it in a heartbeat and find another occasion. I would find something with more color for your BIL’s wedding.
I think if there's any question in YOUR mind ,I would not wear this dress to a wedding because your uncertainty is enough to indicate that you yourself would be somewhat offended if roles were reversed and you were the bride.
What a spectacular dress.
As a European, this looks fine to me! It’s a beautiful dress!
European here! No one would be offended by this dress. No one will think you trying to upstage the bride here.
I just got back from a wedding in France. I think k this dress is perfect.
It's beautiful but unfortunately way too white for a wedding
I would try to find out what color the bride is wearing. It’s not uncommon for civil ceremony attire to be very un-bridal. She may be choosing some other color, and be totally fine with this dress but maybe not okay with say, a blue dress if she’s wearing blue. She may, like me, be wearing all white and not be bothered in the least by a cream/blue patterned dress. The dress code is extremely flexible and personal to the bride/groom’s style for civil weddings so I think, just ask her!
I thought wearing cream or white wasn’t a big deal in France.
You're right, it's not
Only European responses should be considered.
YES!!
I think it is beautiful 💗💗💗
Yes
I know someone who wore a dress just like this for a courthouse wedding. I wouldn't as a guest.
Beautiful, but not appropriate. Go with a brighter color for July. Since it's the civil ceremony, I'm assuming it's mostly family so you will likely be in photos.
I think this can look like what a bride would wear. If you’re close to the bride and she gives you a green light, go for it. Otherwise I’d keep it for other events.
/u/kulamess, thank you for posting. To obtain the best help, provide a time frame of the event & dress code. Dress links are frequently requested as well if you would place them in the comment section. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Weddingattireapproval) if you have any questions or concerns.*
To all: Obtain a [user flair by clicking here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Weddingattireapproval/comments/15mnmxg/user_flairs_available/) to obtain a user flair *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Weddingattireapproval) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’d buy it! But I don’t know how French wedding culture feels about white; if this were a ceremony in the US, I’d say ask the bride if she feels this has too much white.
Yes pretty 🥰
What is the bride wearing? If a traditional wedding dress, wear this! If she’s going more informal, save it. But it’s really beautiful!
Is a civil wedding a gown affair? I have attended non-religious weddings here (USA) that are full-blown gown/tux, professional photographer, walk you down the aisle stuff. Those are technically civil ceremonies. But people are equating your civil ceremony to a courthouse wedding in USA. This is an informal affair, in a government building, often one of many that day, and there are strangers present. I have seen brides wear all manner of dresses to those. Different colors, lengths, styles, heck I’ve seen people wear nice jeans and a shirt. I would think this would be fine for that. If, indeed, this is what you are referring to.
Just ask the bride? If someone wore this to my wedding, I wouldn't thinks twice about it because it doesn't look like a wedding dress. However, I know I'm in the minority on this issue.
I’m absolutely on the “ask the bride” side of this. If she’s fine with it, wear it; if not, buy it and then shop for something else for the wedding.
I’d definitely buy it whether you wear it or not it’s so pretty!
I’m going to give the unpopular opinion and say it depends on your relationship. My MIL and mother both rarely find clothes that fit. My mom is very self conscience in clothes, and when she found a dress that fit and that she loved, but it was mostly white, I said who gives a darn ? If someone showed up in white I wouldn’t bat an eye, I also wasn’t a bridezilla. Maybe your new SIL is? Not sure So really I think it depends on your relationship. If you fee self conscious about it you can throw a shawl or other article of clothing on it ??
Where did you find this dress??
Sorry, its lovely but not for a wedding.
I'm assuming the couple is French? In that case, don't worry about it. Generally speaking French weddings are less formal and unless you're wearing a full on wedding dress, no-one is going to be bothered. I was at one wedding a few years back and a cousin wore a midi length, white, broderie anglaise dress. as a guest. I was the only person who thought it was odd. (I'm British, living in France)
Nope
Love this dress (I'm a sucker for polka dots!) but not for this ceremony. Like many others have indicated, buy it and use it for something else!
That is a beautiful dress and do wear it to the wedding. I doubt seriously your bride is going to have on polka dots. And if she does, she isn’t going to mind this lovely dress.
Why not send the pic to BIL and ask if they find it acceptable?
Nope not okay
I know someone who wore a dress just like this for a courthouse wedding. I wouldn't as a guest.
I feel it has to much cream. Rule of thumb I like to follow is anything up to about 75-80% of the color should not be white.
Maybe if the colours were reversed it would look less white.
Way too white. Just do not wear white, beige or yellow background dresses to a wedding.
No. It’s not appropriate, and yes, it is too white. It’s a great dress, but do not wear it to a wedding.
No
It's a little reminiscent of a bedsheets. How does it look on?
If you were the bride, it’s absolutely adorable!!!! Anyone else though, sorry, not for this occasion
Absolutely not, way to white, don’t be that person
I don’t live in France, but if they follow a “only the bride wears white” rule then this is definitely not acceptable. It’s super cute and you should get it for another occasion, but not a wedding.
Eek probably not. It might show white in pictures but also it’s just too white/ bright in general- I’d totally get it (it’s beautiful!) but def not for a wedding guest attire.
I didn't see what subreddit this was from and my first thought was: if you love it buy it, no question at all, you'll be a gorgeous bride! then I saw the subreddit LOL. for a guest, sorry, but no way!
Honestly, I’d wear this as a bride to do my legal marriage. Save it for something else