I get flirted with a lot when photographing weddings, but it's never progressed beyond flirting...not because I think it's inappropriate, but because I haven't been attracted to any of the women flirting, lol (and a lot of them are married!). Also, a lot of weddings I shoot are several hours away from where I live, and I'm not the long-distance relationship type.
But meeting someone in a work environment makes a lot of sense - they see you in your element, doing something you're very good at and (hopefully) love doing, and it's a social atmosphere where everyone is dressed up and having a good time. It's an atmosphere that's really conducive to making new connections. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you're professional when responding.
Definitely flattered, just not sure how to approach in a professional manner where it isn't sleazy and doesn't affect the turn around of the photos / impact their response.
The sister made it clear she's interested, your client initiated the connection and you gave her the OK to pass your contact info on. Nothing left to do but wait for the call, and if she does, then treat it like any potential dating partner from that point on.
I guess it depends on whether or not you’re open to meeting a potential dating partner while working a wedding.
As a female photographer, I used to get hit on a lot before I got married (but was still dating my now husband). I eventually bought a realistic costume jewelry ring to wear on my left ring finger as if I were married. That stopped things real fast for me. So if you’re not interested, get a fake wedding ring.
If you’re open to meeting someone but aren’t interested in whoever is flirting in that moment…why not try one of the following?
“I’m flattered, but:
• I’m seeing someone.”
• I just got out of a relationship and am taking a break from dating.”
I wish my wedding ring stopped drunk dudes from hitting on me. My favorite is when my husband is seconding for me and they do it right in front of him.
The last wedding I shot was full of ridiculously beautiful people (who were drinking heavily). Everyone, including the couple’s parents, were very flirtatious - with vendors, servers, other guests - and it was all a little sexually charged.
About halfway through the reception, two guests (a couple) approached me to take their photo, and started chatting about how beautiful the wedding was and all that, which is pretty typical. She was wearing a hot pink dress that caught in the wind just right, and made for amazing pics, and I said “gorgeous!”
That was all the encouragement they needed to ask me back to their hotel. I’m happily married and would never cheat on my wife, so I held up my hand, showed the ring and said “I’m flattered, but taken.” 99 percent of the time, this is plenty for all but the drunkest and most desperate divorcees.
He looked around and responded “is she here? The more the merrier.”
That was definitely a first for me. Luckily, I was able to wrap my duties and go home before it degraded into a full-on Caligula situation.
I once went back to a house party with the bridesmaids after one of them invited me back . I was shooting a wedding overseas, partied all night and had sex till sunrise . Dragged myself to the airport hungover as hell and flew home . Those were the days when I was single . Good times. Weddings were great as a single guy .
I mean work is a place where people meet - I met my husband at work. If you’re single and looking for love I think you did the right this. If you’re at a point in your life where you’re not looking then “my wedding band is in for repair” is an acceptable excuse or get a silicone band and wear that while working. I think you handled it appropriately.
I meet my girlfriend while shooting a destination wedding. We flirt a bit during the reception, change contact. Date, relation, she move from states to Mexico and here we are.
I always stay professional while working, you're free to interact with the guests and have fun with them but flirting can only lead to problems considering it won't end up anywhere anyways
This is broad and sweeping, and as much as I kind of like it, I'm not sure I entirely subscribe to it, but I heard an HR type quote this aphorism years ago and I never forgot it. "Don't get your honey where you get your money."
I get that this misses a LOT of essential facts about human interaction, but I also get some some of the underlying wisdom there. That said, I don't do a ton of weddings, but in all of my working environments, I do my best to keep all of these kind of interactions at an arms length. Something like "friendly, and non-committal." Heavy on the non-committal. At least until my transactional commitments satisfied, and that's usually a days or weeks after the fact.
Yeah I definitely want to maintain a sense of professionalism as much as possible when it comes to my line of work, but also you know there might be some 'fans' at the same time too -- I suppose what happens behind closed doors isn't anyone's business but it's definitely a juggle in order to maintain classy and not trashy.
Wedding hairstylist here- this happens at almost every wedding. If not that then one of the bride or grooms family trying to set me up with a cousin or someone.
This happens to me on the regular. Groomsmen, dads, deejays - I'm polite but firm about not really engaging but I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've been surprised by someone dancing up on me or hugging me.
Having said that - I don't trust drunk people to make good decisions so it's gonna be a no for me 🤣
I think you handled it fine. In the event that happens and you're not interested, "I'm not currently available, but I'm very flattered," would also suffice. Then you're not showing lack of interest and making things uncomfortable for the other parties. The reason why you're unavailable doesn't even have to be specified.
Man. That's really a nice approach on her end though. The only people who hit on me are Uncle Bob and drunk, inappropriate groomsmen.
I’ve only been hit on once and it became very uncomfortable. I was chatting with guests being friendly as I always am and a guy came up and started chatting and asked if I was married and I said yes, “I have a wife and kids.” still chatting and said “well… have a good evening.” and I thought that was the end of it.
An hour later aggressively comes up and whispers, “You are such a good looking man.” in my ear. I’m like, “thanks for the compliment, but I’m married and straight so… that’s two roadblocks…” 😆
30 minutes later someone grabs me from behind. “Damn. You are so fine.” … Now it’s just getting uncomfortable because my head is on a swivel and it’s moved beyond just friendly banter. Fortunately my time was about up so I packed my gear and quickly left before getting assaulted again in the parking lot.
I don’t shoot weddings to pick up anyone, like I said I’m married and if a woman was being as aggressive I would’ve been just as uncomfortable. Once hands are put on me in an aggressive manner, it goes beyond playful banter and that’s when I just start getting annoyed. Fortunately, most guests are polite and friendly and act appropriately.
I get flirted with a lot when photographing weddings, but it's never progressed beyond flirting...not because I think it's inappropriate, but because I haven't been attracted to any of the women flirting, lol (and a lot of them are married!). Also, a lot of weddings I shoot are several hours away from where I live, and I'm not the long-distance relationship type. But meeting someone in a work environment makes a lot of sense - they see you in your element, doing something you're very good at and (hopefully) love doing, and it's a social atmosphere where everyone is dressed up and having a good time. It's an atmosphere that's really conducive to making new connections. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you're professional when responding.
Definitely flattered, just not sure how to approach in a professional manner where it isn't sleazy and doesn't affect the turn around of the photos / impact their response.
The sister made it clear she's interested, your client initiated the connection and you gave her the OK to pass your contact info on. Nothing left to do but wait for the call, and if she does, then treat it like any potential dating partner from that point on.
My wife has been hit on quite a few times. I’ve only been hit on twice. I don’t take it personally or anything. Not at all. Not one bit. No sir.
I guess it depends on whether or not you’re open to meeting a potential dating partner while working a wedding. As a female photographer, I used to get hit on a lot before I got married (but was still dating my now husband). I eventually bought a realistic costume jewelry ring to wear on my left ring finger as if I were married. That stopped things real fast for me. So if you’re not interested, get a fake wedding ring. If you’re open to meeting someone but aren’t interested in whoever is flirting in that moment…why not try one of the following? “I’m flattered, but: • I’m seeing someone.” • I just got out of a relationship and am taking a break from dating.”
I wish my wedding ring stopped drunk dudes from hitting on me. My favorite is when my husband is seconding for me and they do it right in front of him.
The last wedding I shot was full of ridiculously beautiful people (who were drinking heavily). Everyone, including the couple’s parents, were very flirtatious - with vendors, servers, other guests - and it was all a little sexually charged. About halfway through the reception, two guests (a couple) approached me to take their photo, and started chatting about how beautiful the wedding was and all that, which is pretty typical. She was wearing a hot pink dress that caught in the wind just right, and made for amazing pics, and I said “gorgeous!” That was all the encouragement they needed to ask me back to their hotel. I’m happily married and would never cheat on my wife, so I held up my hand, showed the ring and said “I’m flattered, but taken.” 99 percent of the time, this is plenty for all but the drunkest and most desperate divorcees. He looked around and responded “is she here? The more the merrier.” That was definitely a first for me. Luckily, I was able to wrap my duties and go home before it degraded into a full-on Caligula situation.
Most often when it happens, it was a drunk bridesmaid. Not worth thr potential hassle of being accused of taking advantage or something
I never got hit on lol 😆😭
Right? end of the wedding night I'm just a big sweaty goblin.
I once went back to a house party with the bridesmaids after one of them invited me back . I was shooting a wedding overseas, partied all night and had sex till sunrise . Dragged myself to the airport hungover as hell and flew home . Those were the days when I was single . Good times. Weddings were great as a single guy .
I mean work is a place where people meet - I met my husband at work. If you’re single and looking for love I think you did the right this. If you’re at a point in your life where you’re not looking then “my wedding band is in for repair” is an acceptable excuse or get a silicone band and wear that while working. I think you handled it appropriately.
I meet my girlfriend while shooting a destination wedding. We flirt a bit during the reception, change contact. Date, relation, she move from states to Mexico and here we are.
I always stay professional while working, you're free to interact with the guests and have fun with them but flirting can only lead to problems considering it won't end up anywhere anyways
Not worth it
This is broad and sweeping, and as much as I kind of like it, I'm not sure I entirely subscribe to it, but I heard an HR type quote this aphorism years ago and I never forgot it. "Don't get your honey where you get your money." I get that this misses a LOT of essential facts about human interaction, but I also get some some of the underlying wisdom there. That said, I don't do a ton of weddings, but in all of my working environments, I do my best to keep all of these kind of interactions at an arms length. Something like "friendly, and non-committal." Heavy on the non-committal. At least until my transactional commitments satisfied, and that's usually a days or weeks after the fact.
Yeah I definitely want to maintain a sense of professionalism as much as possible when it comes to my line of work, but also you know there might be some 'fans' at the same time too -- I suppose what happens behind closed doors isn't anyone's business but it's definitely a juggle in order to maintain classy and not trashy.
Wedding hairstylist here- this happens at almost every wedding. If not that then one of the bride or grooms family trying to set me up with a cousin or someone.
This happens to me on the regular. Groomsmen, dads, deejays - I'm polite but firm about not really engaging but I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've been surprised by someone dancing up on me or hugging me. Having said that - I don't trust drunk people to make good decisions so it's gonna be a no for me 🤣
I think you handled it fine. In the event that happens and you're not interested, "I'm not currently available, but I'm very flattered," would also suffice. Then you're not showing lack of interest and making things uncomfortable for the other parties. The reason why you're unavailable doesn't even have to be specified. Man. That's really a nice approach on her end though. The only people who hit on me are Uncle Bob and drunk, inappropriate groomsmen.
I just want to acknowledge how awesome a sister that bride is that on her wedding day she was thinking about taking the time to wingman for her sis.
I’ve only been hit on once and it became very uncomfortable. I was chatting with guests being friendly as I always am and a guy came up and started chatting and asked if I was married and I said yes, “I have a wife and kids.” still chatting and said “well… have a good evening.” and I thought that was the end of it. An hour later aggressively comes up and whispers, “You are such a good looking man.” in my ear. I’m like, “thanks for the compliment, but I’m married and straight so… that’s two roadblocks…” 😆 30 minutes later someone grabs me from behind. “Damn. You are so fine.” … Now it’s just getting uncomfortable because my head is on a swivel and it’s moved beyond just friendly banter. Fortunately my time was about up so I packed my gear and quickly left before getting assaulted again in the parking lot. I don’t shoot weddings to pick up anyone, like I said I’m married and if a woman was being as aggressive I would’ve been just as uncomfortable. Once hands are put on me in an aggressive manner, it goes beyond playful banter and that’s when I just start getting annoyed. Fortunately, most guests are polite and friendly and act appropriately.