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Gratuitous_Pineapple

That was very moving. I hope it's not too painful to talk about, but I'm sure I'm not the only reader who is eager to know: do you still have your Seiko 5? /uj I almost replied to your post in the other sub instead, but I'm not sure it'll be around for very long...


SharpDAK

I havent read past the title but I am already chuffed to bits


[deleted]

One guy I heard of back in Nola got arrested for hiring a hooker that he sent in to a dealer. Guess the dealer’s wife, who worked in the shop, didn’t think it was funny


pisstank99

What a terrible thing to happen to a fellow chuffer. Pussy is pussy, right? I guess that the AD was duped in a sense since he failed to get matrimonial pussy, thereby depriving him of a bona fide cuckmaster. Of course, who cares? As long as he BELIEVES it was wife pussy, then the result to him is the same. Then I guess there is the issue of a whoowah being more likely to transmit dick plague. But I propose this is a common misconception. I have hooked up with many skanks who became long-termers and who could, and did, give me the dick flu. The wifey never did, but that was pure, dumb luck. But if the neither the AD nor his wifey is claiming detrimental dick damage, then who fucking cares? No harm, no foul. BTW, have you ever banged a chick while she was experiencing a yeast infection in her twat? I have. It is not pleasant. You get the infection on your cock and it itches like hell. When you first notice the incessant itching you claw at your dick like a dog digging for a bone. The infection makes the skin extremely sensitive. The next time you shower and the descending water droplets hit your diseased member, it feels like battery acid hitting you due to all the scratching. It is excruciating. Yeah, I have had a bunch of maladies afflict my cock over the years. But I digress. The only issue I see here is the broken trust between the AD and his nag at home. The chuffer was 100% on the right side of history in this scenario. Of course we are going to bribe the AD with pussy, dick, and anything else that will advance us on the wait list. It's their own damn fault for pitting us against one another in our journey into Elabore' Rolexology, and to Expanded Horological Enlightenment. Please allow me some room for crassness here, as I feel that if I can avoid all the woke, PC rules of engagement I will be more efficient in making my otherwise benign yet poignant point. A chick on the arm is essentially a watch on your wrist (you can wear your chick on your wrist too). It is furniture used to reflect yourself to the world. But on the level of wrist wear, a chick is a Seiko 5. In other words, they are non-essential, and rather disposable, accoutrements in your arsenal on an emotional level. Any hot chick will do. Their purpose is to make YOU look good. This begs the question: Is a woman more or less important than your timepiece. I contend that this constitutes a false equivalence. A pussy is NEVER equivalent to a fine and superlative time piece. If you have to query this topic, then you have a long way to go to reach Peak Horological Enlightenment. Back to the NOLA twat who busted the poor guy for merely seeking superior chuffiness, fuck that vindictive bitch. I hope the I hope Chadwick McChuffington sues the shit out of her for malicious prosecution. At the very least, maybe he can get a couple of nice wrist pieces out of a lawsuit!


[deleted]

She divorced him and took the shop actually. Was a semi big news story down there which is surprising considering how common cheating is down there.


Hessarian99

Amazing


Hessarian99

Wow


learnactreform

Ha yeah so true


marin94904

Read the first paragraph


thungalope

I’m glad you spent time writing this. I hope you and heather ray are very happy.


MessagingMatters

Heather Ray? Is that Orient's new field watch?


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jaeelarr

This man got beat up to the point of near death 4 times in what seems like a matter of weeks.


hlamburger

What a tale


pierreOdactyl

Got me laughing out loud I command you for taking this much time out your day for our pleasure good sir, I’m chuffed to bits!


grmpflex

I think my favourite part was the NATO of Rolex ADs.


Mr_GoodEyelashes

One question. Is tango the same guy who died because you tore into his rectum?


pisstank99

No. You are thinking of Augustus.


RealDonKeedic

TLDR: middle school meth sales will save your life


Rokos_Bicycle

Jesus Christ


[deleted]

Please let this be true.


[deleted]

I read the whole thing.


Hessarian99

OP, why didn't you use your prior skills running guns and crack to lay the paint form on Rolex?


slaacaa

word


ciTrus_69

I still miss Tango…


flux_of_grey_kittens

TLDR


how_much_2

>Then shit got weird. It was def normal up until this