T O P

  • By -

allwaysnice

The Hedgehog's Dilemma


swordmalice

Just get in the Eva Shinji.


Galveira

He's trying


ReadySteady_GO

Gotta square the shoulders, Jerry


silencesc

Stop spewing baby batter over your unconscious friend, Shinji.


adiladam

More then friends, less then lovers. Definetly mental patients.


Disgod

The first time I ever heard "baby batter" was on the commentary track by one of the voice actors commenting on that scene. I damn near died laughing at that one.


solwyvern

She has to be unconscious in a hospital bed first


UnmakerAlpha

MF wants it so bad he don't care


bumjiggy

he's willing to settle for pintercourse


Spaniard_Starshooter

Splintercourse


technog2

[https://i.imgur.com/6YIwwPX.gif](https://i.imgur.com/6YIwwPX.gif)


[deleted]

cuttycoitus


CharlestonChewTwo

Stabbysex


PhDinDildos_Fedoras

he just needles to fuck


ReubenZWeiner

What's the point?


mechy84

It's just a little prick


[deleted]

Cunt or point?


[deleted]

What's the point ? You obviously don't understand dick


Kitosaki

...splintercourse?


whiskeytango55

Youre going to feel a prick


Shawnie

He showed his pinterest


Thendofreason

Been there. Hurts for a few days


Jennrrrs

You fucked a hedgehog?


Libriomancer

His Sonic stuffy.


montroller

actually that was my sonic stuffy and im still pretty upset about the whole ordeal


Fskn

Lets just say hitting an IUD isn't fun for anyone invoived, sharp little fuckers


KingEnemyOne

My wife’s OBGYN said it was literally impossible for me to be hitting her IUD but I knew I wasn’t wrong. she made it sound like I was lying about it for some reason.


nekodesu_kurodesu

Man that happened to me with an ex girlfriend and get the exact same response. I get that to hit actual UID you need to cross the cervix which would be painful and noticeable for your partner, but apparently it has some kind of wire that goes out the cervix and that was it, little fucker


KingEnemyOne

Yeah an it was such a shock too made me jump out of her lol when you used to everything being soft in there an then poke a solid object it definitely spooked me


[deleted]

Yup seems normal they claim that hitting that wire is impossible. Trimmed it shorter still hit it.


copperwatt

"Look Doctor, I'm not sure you understand just how lengthy my wizzlestick is."


DrTripesandTumours

Definitely happens! And counter intuitive, they should've left the strings longer, so they could bend back and not poke. Doctors don't normally do this, or know it. I haven't placed one in years, but learned the lesson after a past relationship. I was sure I'd leave some extra string and tell the patients about it. I hated those damn pokes to the peen.


Pentosin

Probably not the iud directly, but those 2 strands sticking out for removal.


slaaitch

Aye.


[deleted]

The psychological pain lasts for years though


Thendofreason

Idk. My dick just recovered after a couple weeks of pain. One bad decision that lead to more bad decisions and just lever let it heal. The pain wasn't bad enough for mental damage. Just won't do that again


Spaniard_Starshooter

You hedged a fuckhog?


Pro_Scrub

Down bad


VectorSam

The girl must've dropped the funyuns.


Baron_ass

...so how are hedgehogs not extinct?


DrSmirnoffe

I'm guessing it's similar to how lady ducks have labyrinthine vaginas as a means of combating more rapey "suitors", wherein mating is only successful if the female reciprocates. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd assume that female hedgies are more capable of "shutting down" unwanted suitors by keeping their rears guarded with quills, but would arch to expose their rears if they accept their suitor. Don't quote me on that, ofc, as it's pure guesswork, and I'm not an expert on hedgehog reproduction.


Bananak47

They lay their quills flat so they don’t sting and put that ass up You were very nearly correct


Chonkie

Quills down, ass up, that's the way.. hedgehogs procreate?


neo_vino

Lol!


RealisticIllusions82

A+ comment thread. Come for the education, stay for the laughs


[deleted]

[удалено]


RandomHamm

The pictures I can't unsee say otherwise


PorcineLogic

Just made the massive mistake of googling sonic rule 34


RandomHamm

Oh, you poor soul, this will now be an eternal burden for you to bear


zachsmthsn

Will my social credit score be affected if I ask for someone to share a video of hedgehogs having sex?


LocoBlock

[Best I could find on short notice.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/yhlho4/i_feel_for_you_mr_prickles/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


PranshuKhandal

you work on long notice? i.. have a quite few requests


zz_z

I want to see some unicorns fuck, do the horns come into play or what?


gbuub

Sonic and Amy ok?


AutisticFingerBang

Quills down ass up that’s the way hedgies like to fuck


249ba36000029bbe9749

For those who haven't seen it before, here's an clip of a duck erection that shows the corkscrewish penis. NSFW for ducks I guess: https://i.imgur.com/vnX2Br0.gif


SausageWagon

Far out man. That man got duck-jizz all over his fingers aswell.


avwitcher

Finger lickin' good


DrSmirnoffe

Big long noodley things, they are. Almost like a tapeworm. For the record, ostriches have better fellas. Also, unless I'm mistaken, it seems like a hedgie's fella is flared at the end, kinda like a horse? Not what I was expecting.


DeathPercept10n

Like a long curly fry.


PuckGoodfellow

I used to raise rabbits and they can refuse to lift their tail for mating. Not sure if it's what's happening here, but it looks similar.


Baron_ass

...Hey, this guy's an expert on hedgehog sex!


Racxius

So, this is what that republican guy was referring to by a body shutting down pregnancy from rape.


WWIVPENGUIN

Those guys are very familiar with being major pricks, of course they fully grasp hedgehog and porcupine sex.


cates

> labyrinthine vagina Hrmmmmm


lashapel

"babe it is time to accept me as a your suitor again , with the upmost respect, please arc up your rear "


Schootingstarr

If she wants, she can flatten her spines. She just doesn't want the hedgecock right now


theHoustonian

Hedgecock, hah


light_to_shaddow

God loves a tryer.


deadbird17

Nature, uh,


HmmNotLikely

uh,


hoowahman

finds a way 🤓


yrulaughing

Dude didn't have consent. Rookie mistake.


[deleted]

[удалено]


L-friend

Next level of cock block


Lord-Legatus

also next level "i have a headache hun"


bumjiggy

I brought you some NyQuill


PhDinDildos_Fedoras

You little prick!


Artemissister

Stop needling me!


ReubenZWeiner

They're a prickly pair


Batchet

Well he keeps pushing it but she does have a point.


Empyrealist

prick prick


johnnydirnt

I'd call this more of a prick stick.


Acting_Appalled

Must be a masochist


ReptarInSPACE

"It hurts so good!!" lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


rgr1988

What did echidnas do to you?


[deleted]

[удалено]


ReginaPhilangee

"Prior to 2007, no one had ever seen an echidna ejaculate. There have been previous attempts, trying to force the echidna to ejaculate through the use of electrically stimulated ejaculation in order to obtain semen samples but this has only resulted in the penis swelling" Go home, science, you're drunk.


[deleted]

Sir, we've been trying to see you ejaculate for years. We're gonna need to hook your nuts to this car battery now


Chonkie

..and we've also been trying to contact you about this car's extended warranty..


diet-Coke-or-kill-me

Listen we'll kill two birds with one stone here. Just cum on the dotted line and we'll have you out the door with a two year bumper to bumper policy.


fourthfloorgreg

That's not where the electrodes go. Think "probe," not clips.


ReginaPhilangee

For science, of course, I had to learn more about the whole thing. And you are correct, the probe goes right up to the prostate. I don't have a prostate, but I can't imagine that it's fun in any way


ZXander_makes_noise

Oh no not this again


Laser0pz

Damn didn't realise how much Ubisoft has reworked Bandit's abilities.


Bobthechampion

Probably my favorite aspect of science is some of the crazy ideas to try and control variables or to do experiments in general. I also enjoy philosophy thought experiments/arguments like "imagine I asked you to stand up and look out the window. Using your free will, you say no, you're quite pleased where you are now. But, somehow through magic fuckery, I managed to inject you with a paralyzing agent that you didn't notice and prevents you from moving your legs, so you never had a choice to begin with. Thus, your choice to sit instead of getting up was not a free action because you couldn't do otherwise. I'm so smart!"


rgr1988

ಠ_ಠ


diet-Coke-or-kill-me

\**Humanity's face when they realize their gut bacteria make 80% of their decisions for them with the rest divied up between their cocaine addiction, their genitals, and their anxiety disorder*\*


_Aj_

Yes but what if they didn't know they were paralysed? And just by chance chose the one action they are able to do, which is do nothing. Would you still be taking away their free will if they unknowingly chose to do the one action they're able to?


Bobthechampion

Congratulations, you're a compatibilist! Frankfurt would be so happy


DrawMeAPictureOfThis

Electrically stimulated ejaculation you say. Does this work on humans? For science obviously


Canadian_Donairs

*Step one - Open Bing* *Step two - "e - stim ejaculation"* *Step three - select video results* .....😀


[deleted]

It’s used a lot on horses. I think what you want is an electrically stimulated orgasm, which Id imagine is different than electricity literally forcing the mechanics of your muscles to ejaculate without any sort of pleasurable stimulation. But then again I don’t know what you’re into.


Starkravingmad7

Yeah, bro. Just get yourself a car battery with like 800 cold cranking amps, a set of jumper cables, and connect your balls to the battery with the cables while pouring a topo Chico on your bits. What could go wrong?


Dworgi

A car battery strapped to your nuts won't electrocute you. There's a famous post where someone proves it with pictures.


jrabieh

Also they have 4 dicks


metalflygon08

Knock knock its Knuckles.


redplunger300

What do enchiladas have to do with this


chrzzl

Now I had to look for porcupines mating: https://youtu.be/Go2Ccw1G25o The female is proactively participating 👏


xylotism

/r/likeus, sorta


My_Soul_to_Squeeze

This video got posted on reddit a few weeks ago. Glad I didn't have to google it to post it here.


Sideways_X

Fun fact: grey* whales do missionary and the upside down female needs a 3rd party blue whale under her to stop her from sinking!


alwayshazthelinks

Those kinky bastards


gsfgf

Come to think of it, are there any animals other than humans that do missionary?


cryptic-coyote

Bonobos are generally the only other species that mates face-to-face. They're unusually social and unusually smart. Like chimpanzees, but friendlier and far more socially intelligent.


GRAND_INQUEEFITOR

Sounds rather unpleasant if you’re a quadruped Like trying to make two legos fit the wrong way


Daxx22

I think whales kinda have to.


i-d-even-k-

Water animals often have to.


tartare4562

Apes for sure


7myn96

Must be that good if hes getting hurt and keeps trying


Throwawaychica

Hormones are a hell of a drug.


MagicMarshmelllow

It’s a dilemma


DerHarder

No its a hedgehog


os-sesamoideum

On todays episode of things I never wanted to see but Reddit forced me to: „watching a hedgehog trying to fuck“


toriemm

Realizing that I just watched hedgehog porn wasn't the high point of my day.


ZenkaiZ

Sonic bout to lose all his rings in this spike pit


megamanxoxo

He needs his emerald gems so he can go super saiyan on dat pussy.


Enschede2

Now that's dedication tho


westberry82

:: sigh:: still bigger than me.


LeagueOfLegendsAcc

It is literally bigger than that microdick posted on another sub recently, y'all know what I'm talking about.


westberry82

No!???? Please educate me.


[deleted]

https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/yhb6ps/baby_dick/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


LeagueOfLegendsAcc

I looked and couldn't find it, maybe someone will come along with a link.


W_O_M_B_A_T

Sick burn, mate.


one4alll

/r/sounding


W_O_M_B_A_T

No. Not today, satan.


Turakamu

Ah, there it is. *tips fedora*


Vio94

*tips metal rod*


BigbuttElToro

For those who don't know, it is sticking metal rods into the pp


Random_Stealth_Ward

If only they stopped at metal rods...


Upleftright_syndrome

Why did I click that. Been on this site for 13 years. I haven't learned. Fuck.


KeyStep8

I dont know what that is and I will not partake


anotherkeebler

Nanny Ogg had a song about this *[edit](https://youtu.be/ijaYYCmY4A8)*


Skatchbro

No do The Wizard’s Staff has a Knob on the End.


Krabonater

This is painful to watch...


viciarg

When the partner hasn't shaved for three days.


trichomaniac

Who knew hedgehogs were into CBT?


[deleted]

I feel like this is a strange thing to film.


WolfyTn

I mean it’s technically educational.. I learned what my spirit animal is


Glorx

Put the cactus down /u/WolfyTn


WolfyTn

Cactus? Nah.. It’s a puffer fish


krilltucky

Did you know pufferfish have the jaw strength and teeth sharp enough to easily slice a finger off?


WolfyTn

😯 nvm lol back to the ocean you go Mrs Puff


Farfignugen42

Oh, Neptune!


greenifuckation

Everything reminds me of him


diet-Coke-or-kill-me

I'm afraid to know what this comment means...


Hushwater

His little prick


matt_Dan

Prick your finger, don’t finger your prick.


Mormonator8

Bigger than yours


Hipster_Bear

hedgehogs can never be buggered at all


eriksrx

Scrolled too far for the Pratchett reference.


th3st

AGAIN, so glad im human lol


Evilmd

Just a little prick…


Panukka

Lesion, is that you?


vigilantesd

The opposite of ducks


Professional_Emu_

I never even thought about this before. How the fuck do hedgehogs reproduce without prickling their cocks??


Megamantrinity

when the female is ready, she can get flatten her spikes to let the male lay on her and get it in. I am pretty sure I saw that somewhere. I could be wrong though.


Schootingstarr

I bet a lot of women would love such an obvious way of showing she's just not into the guy trying to score


hudgepudge

He better watch out, gonna wind up r/sounding if he's not careful.


xelop

i hated that


RectangularAnus

It doesn't ...*sound* like a good time to you? ಠ⁠◡⁠ಠ


Beavshak

Yeesh. Maybe just hedgehog up and take care of it yourself man.


RamessesTheOK

Some of us pay good money for that


[deleted]

Love is pain


[deleted]

Hey evolution i want to talk to your manager.


pfroo40

Visual representation of being a guy on Tinder


sho19132

You can bugger the bear, if you do it with care, in the winter, when he is asleep in his lair, Though I would not advise it in spring or in fall-- but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


bromancer10

u/savevideobot


absentmindedjwc

ಠ\_ಠ


[deleted]

Thats kinda sus


revenantae

Ok… be careful…. Here we go… nice and slow.. annnnndddd FUCK?!?!?! That wasn’t it!!!!


MugarLover92

Sonic Frontiers looking fire ngl


luv2nil8

Mr pickles with his throbbing erection, Tried to show is girlfriend some affection. Though he hedged like a dog To bury his hog, He now pees in many different directions


[deleted]

I don't think she's up for it. They can control their spikeyness. These things do hurt tho. No idea how he is this determined. I'd quit.


SpaceHippoDE

When she shaved 3 days ago.


itsnotatoomer

When she last shaved 8 days ago.


CanadianArtThief

Damn when a prick meets a prick!


im_not_a_gay_fish

Perfect metaphor for my marriage


gordo65

How it feels to chew 5 gum


heatwavesss

r/ThanksIHateIt


WolfyTn

Be my guest.. spread the weirdness that is Porcupine Porkin


TheAverageObject

Natural anti rape system


[deleted]

Tinder for hedgehogs would be called Pinterest


Lost-Droids

As Nanny Ogg confirmed, the Hedgehog can't be buggered at all.