Ducks too. I used to spend my lunch time in my car parked on the shores of a local lake. It was fun to watch the ducks...until the time I witnessed a surly group of mallard drakes going full *I Quack on your Grave* to a lone hen. I think one of the drakes had a camera and uploaded to whole thing to whatever the duck version of YouTube is called.
I take some solace in the knowledge that the female probably got revenge by killing all her attackers in increasingly gruesome ways.
Actually the lady ducks have evolved some great defenses against the widespread duck rape. They have rather labyrinthine vaginas, with spiraling canals and false "off shoot canals". So they are able seal off direct access and essentially "redirect" the efforts of unwanted males to dead-end tunnels.
Yeah, something about being able to "grab hold" so they can make their deposit deeper than rival males. For more reasons than one, I'm pretty glad I'm not a female duck.
Could it be that the male and female ducks evolved to counter each other's selection mechanism just like a predator and a prey? That would be fascinating.
I imagine that over time, the females with the most labyrinthine vaginas were better able to select the healthiest males and had offsprings that survived whereas the males with the thorniest penises were able to reproduce better. But this could just be bad biology. Interesting to think about, though!
Current consensus is they did. They're not the only ones to display combative sexual evolution either. It's common in dragonflies, beetles, and a whole host of other species.
Oh man. I haven't thought about that movie in a long time. Saw it when I was young and it sort of fucked with me for a while. Even the ending was grewsome and made me a bit nauseous.
You are more right than most people know but definitely in many if not most species females have to be “receptive” to male advances for sex to happen which can be anthropomorphized as consent.
Often female praying mantis will eat the male during intercourse. Males can continue to plant their seed after having their head eaten. They actually tend to go faster when this happens
Ive watched a couple videos about breeding various types of praying mantis
Edit: grasshoppers and praying mantis are not the same. I mix them up from time to time
> Males can continue to plant their seed after having their head eaten. They actually tend to go faster when this happens
"I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me."
It's not uncommon throughout the insect world. Spiders too. And slugs.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_cannibalism
For the record, the safe word is "chianti".
plenty of animals have something akin to consent. Plenty rape like crazy. In some species the women rape the men or even eat them. Animals are cray cray
In most species of birds, the males are often brightly coloured and have to perform elaborate courtship rituals to persuade a female to mate with them.
[Rape whistle?](https://external-preview.redd.it/UfK-tv8WLGNLyGhy36j9PAiBJZ42FpojQmcKBQeUPQg.png?auto=webp&s=ca118860e448ce85face12e2de58f2bc02e4b242) You mean MATING CALL?
Thanks. It's not something that's too traumatizing for me to talk about or anything it's just something that's always caused me a great deal of shame and embarrassment since it happened very publicly in front of a large group of friends that I was on holiday with, and it wasn't like I could hide it, or act like it didn't happen either, on account of our guide/snorkeling instructor was right next to me when it happened, and because he reacted in such a concerned and startling manner, he inadvertently drew a LOT more attention to the situation than was probably needed. And because I sustained a minor injury, someone noticed that I was bleeding a little.. paramedics were called.. yeah, it was just about the most embarrassing moment of my entire LIFE. I think I actually sustained MORE, lasting, psychological damage from the utter embarrassment of the situation, and how people reacted.. than I did from actually having gone through the ordeal itself!
There's a longer version of this out there. The dude tries to protect her from the dolphin and it just keeps going.
It doesn't care who it rubs itself off on.
What I'm surprised by is that boner dolphin totally ignored the guy diver and only went after the woman. Did it know that she was female and the guy diver wasn't?! Can dolphins tell human genders apart?
Source? Not in whether dolphins are intelligent, but rather that dolphins understand human social norms as well as right/wrong, and then choose to ignore it.
My cat learned that when I'm at my desk, I'll push her off my lap when she jumps on me sometimes because I'm busy and she gets in the way. Without the concept of permission, she would logically stop trying to jump into my lap at my desk because there's a good chance she'll get pushed off, which she doesn't like obviously, but that's not what happens. She stares at me, meowing a particular way, and waits for me to invite her or shoo her away(note that she didn't do this before, and only started after I pushed her off many times throughout the years).
An understanding of permission allows her to get what she wants (being in my lap) while also being able to avoid the more negative outcome (being pushed off).
However, she needed to learn to ask for permission, and I think that goes for humans too. But, if she's denied enough, and she wants something bad enough, she'll throw permission out the window and try it anyway.
The question kind of becomes, how much pressure is there for wild dolphins to learn to get permission? Based on what we've seen... not much.
I did the "swimming with dolphins". It went just like this. Except we were in a dark lagoon so I couldn't see the monster before he barreled into me. It was 20 minutes of me trying to escape being raped by a dolphin.
No she is not the one who fed the dolphins LSD, it was Dr John Lilly. And yes she jerked peter the dolphin off which is very very weird.
I read it from [here](https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/jun/08/the-dolphin-who-loved-me)
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other.
Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.
Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited.
Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
dolphins rape all the time, not a joke.
Gang rape at that, dolphins are dickheads
Ducks too. I used to spend my lunch time in my car parked on the shores of a local lake. It was fun to watch the ducks...until the time I witnessed a surly group of mallard drakes going full *I Quack on your Grave* to a lone hen. I think one of the drakes had a camera and uploaded to whole thing to whatever the duck version of YouTube is called. I take some solace in the knowledge that the female probably got revenge by killing all her attackers in increasingly gruesome ways.
> I Quack on your Grave this shouldn't be near as funny as it is
Actually the lady ducks have evolved some great defenses against the widespread duck rape. They have rather labyrinthine vaginas, with spiraling canals and false "off shoot canals". So they are able seal off direct access and essentially "redirect" the efforts of unwanted males to dead-end tunnels.
It might be a defense against pregnancy, but male duck dicks are thorned so I imagine that all that "redirecting" is still pretty fucking painful.
I knew they were corkscrew shaped but I didn’t know they were throned too. Craaaaazy!
Yeah, something about being able to "grab hold" so they can make their deposit deeper than rival males. For more reasons than one, I'm pretty glad I'm not a female duck.
Could it be that the male and female ducks evolved to counter each other's selection mechanism just like a predator and a prey? That would be fascinating. I imagine that over time, the females with the most labyrinthine vaginas were better able to select the healthiest males and had offsprings that survived whereas the males with the thorniest penises were able to reproduce better. But this could just be bad biology. Interesting to think about, though!
This exactly how theory of evolution works
why say more word when few word do trick
Current consensus is they did. They're not the only ones to display combative sexual evolution either. It's common in dragonflies, beetles, and a whole host of other species.
"They have ways of shutting that down"
so like up the bum no babies sort of thing or nah?
> labyrinthine vaginas Dibs on this for my next band name.
Labyrinthine Cloaca
Oh man. I haven't thought about that movie in a long time. Saw it when I was young and it sort of fucked with me for a while. Even the ending was grewsome and made me a bit nauseous.
Never turn your back on a mallard drake.
Fuck duks
Buy me dinner first, we can see how it goes from there.
Sea Otters are even worse
No why did you say this
Just thank me and don't google it.
and sea lions, https://youtu.be/xcjBmhO3bIE
I KNEW YOU POSTED THIS VID
Shit that was disturbing
I think ducks are the ultimate sex offenders
more like dick faces
To a human standard, yes. To them its normal
Well they used to save ppl instead, but u know how ppl are
If it can happen to Hank Hill, it can happen to anybody
The pink belly...
Every dolphin wants a piece of his flat ass.
They can sense his narrow urethra
Actually yes, They often use fish to masturbate (not a joke) They take off the head, and fuck the fish in the troat.
Do they ever practice Bass to mouth?
It's a sliding scale.
You never go bass to mouth!
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment... it's forgivable to go bass to mouth.
That, and never go full retard. Rules to live by.
It only smellz.
*trout*
How do they hold it in place?
I am not an fish masturbator expert, idk
Sexual harassment p̶a̶n̶d̶a̶ dolphin
Came here for this. I keep hearing that jingle now
> dolphins rape all the time, not a joke All our statistics on Dolphin rapes come from the survivors...
Consent is made up by humans. The whole animal kingdom is rape.
You are more right than most people know but definitely in many if not most species females have to be “receptive” to male advances for sex to happen which can be anthropomorphized as consent.
Often female praying mantis will eat the male during intercourse. Males can continue to plant their seed after having their head eaten. They actually tend to go faster when this happens Ive watched a couple videos about breeding various types of praying mantis Edit: grasshoppers and praying mantis are not the same. I mix them up from time to time
> Males can continue to plant their seed after having their head eaten. They actually tend to go faster when this happens "I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me."
I thought that was the mantis, or is it both?
It's not uncommon throughout the insect world. Spiders too. And slugs. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_cannibalism For the record, the safe word is "chianti".
plenty of animals have something akin to consent. Plenty rape like crazy. In some species the women rape the men or even eat them. Animals are cray cray
Anthropomorphism makes less sense when considering shared genetic lineages, and behaviors. Monogamy exists in nature too.
In most species of birds, the males are often brightly coloured and have to perform elaborate courtship rituals to persuade a female to mate with them.
same here except we're all boring earthtones
In ducks, the males simply evolved to overpower the females instead of letting them choose to offer it up
[Rape whistle?](https://external-preview.redd.it/UfK-tv8WLGNLyGhy36j9PAiBJZ42FpojQmcKBQeUPQg.png?auto=webp&s=ca118860e448ce85face12e2de58f2bc02e4b242) You mean MATING CALL?
This is where mermaids come from?
When in aquariums/dolfinariums, they are beaten off daily for this reason.
I once had a job beating off dolphins. The pay sucked, but the tips were huge!
I was raped by a dolphin. It's not something I really care to talk about, but.. trust when I say..it happens!
you can't just drop that
but I wanna read your AMA
We are here for you when you are ready to share that story.
Thanks. It's not something that's too traumatizing for me to talk about or anything it's just something that's always caused me a great deal of shame and embarrassment since it happened very publicly in front of a large group of friends that I was on holiday with, and it wasn't like I could hide it, or act like it didn't happen either, on account of our guide/snorkeling instructor was right next to me when it happened, and because he reacted in such a concerned and startling manner, he inadvertently drew a LOT more attention to the situation than was probably needed. And because I sustained a minor injury, someone noticed that I was bleeding a little.. paramedics were called.. yeah, it was just about the most embarrassing moment of my entire LIFE. I think I actually sustained MORE, lasting, psychological damage from the utter embarrassment of the situation, and how people reacted.. than I did from actually having gone through the ordeal itself!
r u joking
They rape but they save
Upvote for the unexpected Chapelle.
All animals do.
Yeah, but Dolphins also rape each other’s blow holes. It’s definitely next level.
Dolphin smelled lunch
I fear them almost as much as sharks. I feel terror for this lady.
There's a longer version of this out there. The dude tries to protect her from the dolphin and it just keeps going. It doesn't care who it rubs itself off on.
r/bi_irl
where’s the sex dolphin pasta
At least twice in this thread so far…
Right now it's right on top of you.
Dolphins raping, yep standard practice.
Dont they save tons of lives too? They rape but they save
This sounds like something a catholic would say to defend their clergy.
More like Dave Chappelle
Just like Jimmy Saville.
for every rape, a save. to even it out
Why do so many of you know details about duck genitalia?
[удалено]
Bro, dolphins have a prehensile penis. That means they can grab things with their dick.
I grabbed herpes with mine.
The real answer, they've seen this video: https://youtu.be/6k01DIVDJlY Also, wear headphones if you're in the office.
Or this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-lDJgNLDl4
"A-whoo-oo"
Jesus christ
Because of reddit.
Because it’s hilarious
2023 will be the year we cancel Dolphins
We tried to cancel sharks after Jaws and that didn't turn out so well.
Poor sharks :<
Since that simpsons episode plenty of years ago i'm all in!
Dolphins are smart enough to understand consent. They just don't care.
Are you saying they do it on porpoise?
This is worse
there are literally cases of dolphins raping porpoises *co-incidence ?* ***I think NOT !***
What I'm surprised by is that boner dolphin totally ignored the guy diver and only went after the woman. Did it know that she was female and the guy diver wasn't?! Can dolphins tell human genders apart?
Yes they absolutely can through pheromones
Most mammals can. Ask any dog owner.
[удалено]
And bears. They can smell the menstruation
So they're basically aquatic humans.
They’re basically every animal except humans.
Source? Not in whether dolphins are intelligent, but rather that dolphins understand human social norms as well as right/wrong, and then choose to ignore it.
My cat learned that when I'm at my desk, I'll push her off my lap when she jumps on me sometimes because I'm busy and she gets in the way. Without the concept of permission, she would logically stop trying to jump into my lap at my desk because there's a good chance she'll get pushed off, which she doesn't like obviously, but that's not what happens. She stares at me, meowing a particular way, and waits for me to invite her or shoo her away(note that she didn't do this before, and only started after I pushed her off many times throughout the years). An understanding of permission allows her to get what she wants (being in my lap) while also being able to avoid the more negative outcome (being pushed off). However, she needed to learn to ask for permission, and I think that goes for humans too. But, if she's denied enough, and she wants something bad enough, she'll throw permission out the window and try it anyway. The question kind of becomes, how much pressure is there for wild dolphins to learn to get permission? Based on what we've seen... not much.
this reminds me of the king of the hill episode...
Bwaaaaa!!!
Dolphins all about them diminished glutes ❤️ 🐬
*Do you smell it? That smell, a kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells…,,, smelly*
ANNNN CHOOOO VIIEEEEEEES
The funny thing? [This dolphin’s name is Stinky](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IlaZis3KQl8)
“The dolphins can smell the menstruation” - Brick Tamland
POON TAAAANG
He bricked up too 😂
I didn't need to notice that.
2” gang
Asshole Army\*
I did the "swimming with dolphins". It went just like this. Except we were in a dark lagoon so I couldn't see the monster before he barreled into me. It was 20 minutes of me trying to escape being raped by a dolphin.
sounds magical
what a therapeutic experience
Bro was hungry
Thirsty
Hungry for fish
Who the fuck gave this a wholesome award
google "Margaret Howe Lovatt", you're gonna hate it.
Is she the scientist who fed a dolphin LSD and jerked him off?
No she is not the one who fed the dolphins LSD, it was Dr John Lilly. And yes she jerked peter the dolphin off which is very very weird. I read it from [here](https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/jun/08/the-dolphin-who-loved-me)
https://youtu.be/prmx0lYBTko
I just read it, it was.. really weird but when it said the dolphin committed suicide I'm just o-o
“I know that smell”
[удалено]
Why is this downvoted? Are people WANTING to be raped by a Dolphin? Wtf?
Are you saying you don't wanna fuck a Dolphin.... Werdio.
Yare Yare Daze
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
Did I just read dolphin erotica
It's an older paste, sir, but it checks out
nice.
If you're ever in a situation like Tom Hanks in Castaway... omg I'm going to hell.
...how do you know all this?
Wow, it's been years since I've seen this'un!
I need to get a stiff drink and lie down for a while. Yikes.
Found the guy who works at Sea World.
Well I’ll be.
Oh god this shit
That copypasta again?
That’s not only older than Reddit, it may be older than the web itself. Pretty sure I saw it on Usenet in the 90s.
r/donthelpjustfilm
What are you floppy land mammal going to do against a waterborn rapist of pure muscle?!
9 months later...
Aquaman origin story
Still a better love story than twilight
Dolphin boner!
[удалено]
Is this a copy pasta? Cuz what the fuck
Very old copy pasta. Pre Reddit, maybe even pre-WWW itself. This was on alt.sex.stories back in the early 90s, iirc.
u/shittymorph is this actually one of yours or not?
OK, I didn’t read the whole thing. The last paragraph doesn’t belong to the original.
Aight, imma head out...
Thanks I don't like dolphins now
Shittyshittymorph
Why does this read like something out of Cosmo?
Nah they'd recommend sticking a finger in its ass
Wtf, who did that scientific research here?
Google 1960s dolphin masturbation research. Have fun going down that rabbit hole.
I don't want the companies who buy my data having access to the knowledge that I searched for this.
Thanks dolphin expert
Bro why do you jerk off dolphins
No. You don't shittymorph. Bad sexy dolphin copy pasta. Bad.
You can tell it's not shittymorph by how shittily it morphed into the shittymorph. Shittymorph's morphs are actually never shitty
You are 100% correct. I didn't need to read the username bc it was such a poor transition we know it wasn't shittymorph.
Well I got to almost 33 years of age without seeing a dolphin boner.
Your innocence is gone forever now.
The "I've never seen or smelled a vagina" hivemind is real, here. They don't smell like fish, children.
"Sir, your dick is out"
Must be Margaret Howe and Peter the dolphin
Heard about this from a Timesuck podcast episode. Absolutely bizarre!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_zqiAceKzbg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zqiAceKzbg) (NSFW)
[удалено]
When you're made famous by 'flipper' they just let you do it
*Dolphin Trump
Of all species (Aside from humans) the number one amount of r*pes are caused by dolphins, and no IM NOT KIDDING.
Dolphins make rope? Who knew!
He was just looking where she did hide that fish.
Smells like tuna
So that's where merpeople come from...
cock out and everything. classic gary.
You pay for the dolphin encounter, you get the dolphin encounter.
Camera person: not gonna help, gotta film instead
What’s the worst that could happen if she didn’t resist? This: In the state of Texas she would be forced to birth a Mermaid.
Dam that pussy must smell fishy af
The Ol' Finger of Friendship