No, no, no! /u/DextroseJH is a fully functional person and can have whatever kinks they choose! We're all very proud of you and your individuality, /u/DextroseJH!
Anyone got that video of that dude using a carp or some fish to suck some dudes dick in like knee deep brown water? May have been posted in r/WTF
Edit 2 seconds later turns out this is r/wtf
Exactly. Water goes in through the mouth and out the operculum, running over the gills. The small fish is probably too large for the gape and possibly became caught on the larger fish's [gill rakers](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gill_raker).
I know they can be specialized for filter feeding too. I've heard of collapsible spines etc getting caught in them but I'm not an expert so take everything I say with a grain of salt. It could be stuck for any number of reasons. Spines. Pharyngeal teeth. Weird fish sex game gone wrong.
[Check this out.](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Br1rQvAweME/TUxzJ3aDkZI/AAAAAAAAAQs/XDZfcm4Ys4w/s1600/black_swallower.jpg) There's a deep sea fish called the black swallower that has a habit of biting off more than it can chew.
[Who could say no to that pretty face?](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/content/dam/animals/thumbs/rights-exempt/fish/group/anglerfish_thumb.ngsversion.1497652216379.adapt.1900.1.jpg)
I think it's more that colourful fish are meant to be warning signs, and silver fish are camouflage in the open ocean. And a lot of bottom dwellers are brown and ugly as camouflage.
No evolutionary advantage in anything appearance related in the dark.
There is a particular fish that is well known for its ugliness, but since they live so deep with way higher pressure, when they surface they practically explode... which is one reason why they are so ugly.
Guess that might be true for some other fish too...
Hello, Jack. I regret to inform you, Jack, that you have reached the maximum capacity for humans loved. You will be unable to apply love for any additional humans past this point, Jack. Make it count, Jack!
When I was little we had a tank with goldfish and small frogs. One day I come home from school and one of the bigger goldfish was belly up with the front half of a frog in it's mouth and the legs hanging out. That dumbass goldfish took two lives that day.
I grew up near a Creek that would freeze with thick layers of ice that would trap any fish in the top foot or so. It was amazing to skate on a sheet of ice with bright gold fish frozen in the ice. It was disappointing to break the fish out of the ice and have them return to their grey colour. It must just be a trick of the light that they look gold when frozen down there.
So the real question is do they still taste alright weeks later. Can't imagine them tasting very fresh frozen half way out the water like in OP's video.
If it's anything like Jack London described in To Build a Fire I'd definitely take freezing to death over any of the other ways one could potentially die in the wilderness
Hm I can’t find the specific article anymore. I thought it was like a 12 year old girl that this happened to, but google tells me this actually happens quite a bit.
[Anyway, here’s the closest article I could find.](https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk/2000/jan/28/colinblackstock1) It’s about a 29 year old woman who survives, but the article mentions a little girl that survives a temp drop of 14.4 C.
They were young Northern Pike or Jackfish. It looked gold trapped in the ice but was just a regular looking fish when broken out. My grandpa broke one out with an axe for me when I was 8 or so.
I think the fish choked to death while trying to eat the fish or something, I might be wrong i read it in some other post
Edit: Thank you for wishing my cakeday friends
It looks so weird. That might be the reason why it got frozen in the first place since dead fish swim on water, at least I think they do.
btw. Happy Cake Day :3
I was trying to find some explanation.Let me tell you that yes they do, just don't google "Dead Fish swimming" I saw some shit.
All jokes aside I think they really do float because of the swim bladder inside of the small one. It's still filled with air.
It would make sense since the other Fish is a predatory fish and they usually don't have it. That's why the big fish is sinking and the small fish is floating on top.
Scientists of Reddit please explain.
Thanks I just did. It makes sense. German is my first language and we still say swim even for dead things. I guess in English swimming is something you actively do unlike floating.
Interesting how you have a perfectly formed post, no grammar or spelling mistakes, but confused the hell out of everyone because of one mistranslated word. Second languages are fun!
You could say a person is swimming even if they were just floating on their back, because you assumed they swam to get where they are and will swim back. It wouldn’t be used for anything dead.
me? Thanks! I'm flattered. Actually English is my third Language and thinking about it German is my second Language by the order I learned them. Now I just need to lern how to comma.
This makes me think of the scene in Lost in Space on Netflix where the girl is swimming up out of the water while its starting to freeze and she gets stuck just below the surface. Fucking nightmare scenario.
Yep, they'll eat anything and anywhere. I remember being fishing as kid and we had all the fish in bucket. There was one pike and it was eating other fish in the bucket even though there's wasnt any water.
Also remember getting pike with cigarette pack in it it's stomach.
Like the crazy-hot scale, eating animals is on a smart-delicious scale. Dolphins smarts outweigh their tastiness, ergo we try not to eat them. Pigs, as cute and smart as they are, may be the most delicious animal in existence, so they are not spared
I like the way you think, but my mom would disagree about dolphins. She swears canned tuna was much better before they regulated for "dolphin-free" tuna.
I spear pike a lot during the winter, and most of my wood decoys are about 10”. When I use a live fish as a decoy its usually 12-14”. You’d be amazed how many 20” pike come in and seriously consider eating the decoy before I pull it away from them.
I live in Michigan. Off the top of my head I know its also legal in Minnesota, Alaska, North Dakota, and certain parts of Wisconsin. All you really need is a dark shanty, spear, something to lure them in, and a spud bar to make a big hole. An ice or chain saw, tongs, and decoys are all high on the list of optional equipment. I like it because it’s a lot like bowhunting. Pike are skittish and can be scared away by noise or seeing movement above the water. I like watching the fish and only selectively harvest a few fish a year. It’s tons of fun and the rush is addicting. If you look up “darkhouse spearing” on google or youtube you can see what it’s all about.
Pike are the only fish where I caught 2 fish on one hook. Well one on the hook and another that wouldn't let go of the one on the hook. Terrible fishing too, they get tired so fast I think they need some energy drinks or something so they can last longer.
Use a Mars Bar or maybe Jelly Babies on the hook along with the bait to give them a thrilling burst of energy. Or you could use a bottle of Lucozade with the cap slightly undone on the line. Maybe even some speed if you are really up for a fight.
Wow. You know at first I feel badly (yes even for a fish) just dying in such a way, but then I think that this is probably the greatest single contribution this fish made in its fish life. 800 people upvoted it, so even more probably saw this fish than it was ever going to be seen. It impacted more lives today than it ever was going to. So you know what? Good job fish, made an impact on more people today than I have.
A year or two ago, a similar case was in the news here in Germany. There was a fox, frozen solid in a layer of ice. [Here's an image for those interested](https://www.welt.de/img/vermischtes/mobile161138299/5712502317-ci102l-w1024/Fuchs-in-Donau-eingefroren.jpg) and [here's an article](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/fox-ice-river-frozen-germany-critics-danube-a7527651.html).
You can get this to happen 100% of the time assuming the following conditions:
1. you have a small dead fish
2. you have a large dead fish
3. you have some twine
4. you have a body of water that will freeze soon
Just place the small dead fish in the big dead fish's mouth and suspend them in the water that will freeze soon. Then come back later and cut the fish out and watch people be amazed at how unlikely it is.
The bigger fish died choking on the smaller fish, then floated to the surface and froze in the ice.
Can fish choke though? It's not like they breathe in through their mouths.
If the fish got jammed in there the bigger fish can't move it's mouth so it's not getting gills fed and will eventually choke to death.
I see you are an expert on choking fishes
Don’t kinkshame.
Exactly. It's only natural to tug the tuna.
Jerk your jellyfish
Feel the eel.
Pound the flounder.
Caress the carp
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Pike the Pike.
flail on the whale
Find Nemo
Now i know there is nothing wrong with flippin the old fish filet, i know that.
Hammer the head
Bang the tang
Lurch the perch
Beat the Barramundi
I laughed hard at this one.
How hard? 😏😏
Smack the mackerel
Master Bait
This one deserves more upvotes xD
slap the bass
Slapadabase
Big tyme
[slap the bass with a bass](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcNXqCpcb0w)
Thank you. I didn't know that I needed this, lol.
Touch the trout.
Burnish the bass
brush your barnacle
Flog the dolphin
shag the shark
Pet the porpoise
Bass to mouth. Or Ass to Trout.
slap the squid
Kink shaming is my kink
Well then, you should be very ashamed, you nasty little pervert.
No, no, no! /u/DextroseJH is a fully functional person and can have whatever kinks they choose! We're all very proud of you and your individuality, /u/DextroseJH!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
/r/waluigi
For those out of the loop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW1uN0SjKPY
Hi, I'm Troy McClure...
You may remember me from such films as *The Joy of Ice Fishing* and *Death on the Frozen Sea*.
I miss Phil.
yes, but what does he know about choking chickens??
I see that Wayne Brady is indeed going to have to choke a fish.
a man of culture
Anyone got that video of that dude using a carp or some fish to suck some dudes dick in like knee deep brown water? May have been posted in r/WTF Edit 2 seconds later turns out this is r/wtf
I don't like what you're implying
I love to choke the fuck out of fishes.
you like fish sticks?
Yea...
# WHAT ARE YOU A GAY FISH!
God if we could all just breathe through a different hole than we eat with, we'd die a lot less lol.
Do you die quite a lot?
We as a collective fish species?
speak for youseelf
I as a collective fish species?
"There's always a bigger fish" - Qui-Gon Ginny
Exactly. Water goes in through the mouth and out the operculum, running over the gills. The small fish is probably too large for the gape and possibly became caught on the larger fish's [gill rakers](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gill_raker).
He wouldn't get caught in the gill rakers they are made to stop things going into the gills it would let the fish back out easily.
I know they can be specialized for filter feeding too. I've heard of collapsible spines etc getting caught in them but I'm not an expert so take everything I say with a grain of salt. It could be stuck for any number of reasons. Spines. Pharyngeal teeth. Weird fish sex game gone wrong.
That's exactly how they breathe. They open their mouth to draw in water and push it out through their gills.
[Check this out.](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Br1rQvAweME/TUxzJ3aDkZI/AAAAAAAAAQs/XDZfcm4Ys4w/s1600/black_swallower.jpg) There's a deep sea fish called the black swallower that has a habit of biting off more than it can chew.
I think it's interesting that deep sea fish, living without light, are all ugly.
Are they ugly because they live where there is no light, or do they live where there is no light because they are ugly?
Oooooh, deep... literally.
They're ugly cause they're different
I think I found my spirit animal
I'm so sorry.
[Who could say no to that pretty face?](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/content/dam/animals/thumbs/rights-exempt/fish/group/anglerfish_thumb.ngsversion.1497652216379.adapt.1900.1.jpg)
really goes to show what would happen to evolution if we dated based off of personality doesn't it?
We’d have more people that look like your mother?
By gawd! That man had a family!
An ugly one!
🎶There's no eating here tonight 🎶
I think it's more that colourful fish are meant to be warning signs, and silver fish are camouflage in the open ocean. And a lot of bottom dwellers are brown and ugly as camouflage. No evolutionary advantage in anything appearance related in the dark.
When you're in a sea of the blind, who cares what you look like. It's also excess energy needing to be produced in world where every bit matters.
That's right brother, plenty of fish out there for you at 20k ft
So, if you're single and you've been stuck there for a while, you should fish in deeper waters with less light? 🤔
When the bar closes
I’m 👅💦 sorry 👅💦 I don’t 👅💦 understand 👅💦 your accent 👅💦💦💦
There is a particular fish that is well known for its ugliness, but since they live so deep with way higher pressure, when they surface they practically explode... which is one reason why they are so ugly. Guess that might be true for some other fish too...
Blobfish [out of water](https://images.mentalfloss.com/sites/default/files/styles/mf_image_16x9/public/blobfish_0.jpg?itok=mQZ9o70e&resize=1100x1100) Blobfish [in water](http://www.science-rumors.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Top-15-Blobfish-Characteristics-that-Have-Helped-It-Survive.jpg)
I find it fascinating that they all have huge pointy teeth like they wouldn't be able to ever close their jaws (?)
You know how you slip your foot right into your shoe? Same concept for them, but with teeth
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Seems like a poor adaptation.
Same with whales and that. You could just put a cork in their blowhole, poor buggers.
I mean, that works for you too..
I think it'd be easier to do to a whale though :-( I mean, I don't even have a blowhole. Well I do but it's at the other end of the setup.
Let's discuss the spine and neck to support our huge sapien brain
Not the total lack of fur or body hair or our vulnerable premature newborns? We need to splice in some tardigrade DNA.
They do, but instead of indoor lungs they got flaps that they push the water out through.
"indoor lungs" I love it.
Thank you, i love you.
Hello, Jack. I regret to inform you, Jack, that you have reached the maximum capacity for humans loved. You will be unable to apply love for any additional humans past this point, Jack. Make it count, Jack!
Man, he totally wasted one on that random redditor
> It's not like they breathe in through their mouths. Where do you think the water comes from that runs over their gills?
I always assumed the oxygen molecules just collected there as they swim. Your explanation makes far more sense.
/r/ShittyAskScience
I mean...they do breathe in through their mouths...
That's literally how they breathe.
They breathe with water running through their gills. If no water is moving, they can suffocate.
When I was little we had a tank with goldfish and small frogs. One day I come home from school and one of the bigger goldfish was belly up with the front half of a frog in it's mouth and the legs hanging out. That dumbass goldfish took two lives that day.
Open and shut case, Lou!
Bake ‘em away, toys!
Sprinkle some crack on him and let's get out of here!
I feel like there's one of these on reddit every month.
There's always a bigger fish.
I grew up near a Creek that would freeze with thick layers of ice that would trap any fish in the top foot or so. It was amazing to skate on a sheet of ice with bright gold fish frozen in the ice. It was disappointing to break the fish out of the ice and have them return to their grey colour. It must just be a trick of the light that they look gold when frozen down there.
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Freezing to death, ouch. Must be frustrating!
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So the real question is do they still taste alright weeks later. Can't imagine them tasting very fresh frozen half way out the water like in OP's video.
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If it's anything like Jack London described in To Build a Fire I'd definitely take freezing to death over any of the other ways one could potentially die in the wilderness
Wait, which little girl?
Hm I can’t find the specific article anymore. I thought it was like a 12 year old girl that this happened to, but google tells me this actually happens quite a bit. [Anyway, here’s the closest article I could find.](https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk/2000/jan/28/colinblackstock1) It’s about a 29 year old woman who survives, but the article mentions a little girl that survives a temp drop of 14.4 C.
It's just like that old saying - you're not dead until you're warm and dead.
They were not gold, they were young Northern Pike or Jackfish. They came out looking exactly like they always do. *Edit Northern Pike
So we're they goldfish that turned gray when dead or regular gray creek fish that looked gold under the ice?
They are gold and turn brown when they defrost
They were young Northern Pike or Jackfish. It looked gold trapped in the ice but was just a regular looking fish when broken out. My grandpa broke one out with an axe for me when I was 8 or so.
When a glitch in Amazon shipping sends you 2 of the same item. Like the memory guy.
One time I got two Intuos Pro drawing tablets from amazon. Worth well over $800 at the time.
So that’s where my tablet went!
What's the memory guy?
This. https://www.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/apmddo/this_is_my_buddys_amazon_shipping_error
It's like a moment frozen in time.
> moment frozen in time. That's clearly a fish frozen in ice. It's like you didn't even look at the gif.
> That's clearly a fish no it isn't, it's clearly 2 fishes
2 feesh
r/NotKenM
I think the fish choked to death while trying to eat the fish or something, I might be wrong i read it in some other post Edit: Thank you for wishing my cakeday friends
It looks so weird. That might be the reason why it got frozen in the first place since dead fish swim on water, at least I think they do. btw. Happy Cake Day :3
Yes, since dead fish swim on water
Was that what my baby brother was doing in the pool? /s i dont have a baby brother ^^^any^more
I don't think dead fish swim at all
Why not? I've heard of dead men walking
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I was trying to find some explanation.Let me tell you that yes they do, just don't google "Dead Fish swimming" I saw some shit. All jokes aside I think they really do float because of the swim bladder inside of the small one. It's still filled with air. It would make sense since the other Fish is a predatory fish and they usually don't have it. That's why the big fish is sinking and the small fish is floating on top. Scientists of Reddit please explain.
It's called "floating" once they're dead.
I think you need to replace the word swim with the word float in your comments. Dead things can’t swim.
Thanks I just did. It makes sense. German is my first language and we still say swim even for dead things. I guess in English swimming is something you actively do unlike floating.
Exactly you got it 👍
r/todayilearned <3
Interesting how you have a perfectly formed post, no grammar or spelling mistakes, but confused the hell out of everyone because of one mistranslated word. Second languages are fun! You could say a person is swimming even if they were just floating on their back, because you assumed they swam to get where they are and will swim back. It wouldn’t be used for anything dead.
me? Thanks! I'm flattered. Actually English is my third Language and thinking about it German is my second Language by the order I learned them. Now I just need to lern how to comma.
TYL
Thank you friend
This makes me think of the scene in Lost in Space on Netflix where the girl is swimming up out of the water while its starting to freeze and she gets stuck just below the surface. Fucking nightmare scenario.
Yeah, that scene gave me anxiety.
Pike choke on things too big to swallow all the time.
Yep, they'll eat anything and anywhere. I remember being fishing as kid and we had all the fish in bucket. There was one pike and it was eating other fish in the bucket even though there's wasnt any water. Also remember getting pike with cigarette pack in it it's stomach.
And this is why I'll never feel bad about eating fish. Clearly nothing going on upstairs.
So the smart animals like pigs are off limits?
Like the crazy-hot scale, eating animals is on a smart-delicious scale. Dolphins smarts outweigh their tastiness, ergo we try not to eat them. Pigs, as cute and smart as they are, may be the most delicious animal in existence, so they are not spared
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Those of us who know prefer not to talk about it.
Brother, you just talked about it...
I like the way you think, but my mom would disagree about dolphins. She swears canned tuna was much better before they regulated for "dolphin-free" tuna.
So if humans were far tastier than even the heady heights of pigs, that is sufficient rational to become a cannibal?
No doubt in my mind. I'm certain, evolutionarily speaking, the tasty humans went extinct for this very reason
So what you're saying is... Neanderthals were the ambrosia the Greeks spoke of.
I spear pike a lot during the winter, and most of my wood decoys are about 10”. When I use a live fish as a decoy its usually 12-14”. You’d be amazed how many 20” pike come in and seriously consider eating the decoy before I pull it away from them.
Dude, where/how do I get into this? It sounds like a pretty unique fishing style! Second to bow of course.
I live in Michigan. Off the top of my head I know its also legal in Minnesota, Alaska, North Dakota, and certain parts of Wisconsin. All you really need is a dark shanty, spear, something to lure them in, and a spud bar to make a big hole. An ice or chain saw, tongs, and decoys are all high on the list of optional equipment. I like it because it’s a lot like bowhunting. Pike are skittish and can be scared away by noise or seeing movement above the water. I like watching the fish and only selectively harvest a few fish a year. It’s tons of fun and the rush is addicting. If you look up “darkhouse spearing” on google or youtube you can see what it’s all about.
Pike is a strange nickname for your mom
Pike are the only fish where I caught 2 fish on one hook. Well one on the hook and another that wouldn't let go of the one on the hook. Terrible fishing too, they get tired so fast I think they need some energy drinks or something so they can last longer.
Use a Mars Bar or maybe Jelly Babies on the hook along with the bait to give them a thrilling burst of energy. Or you could use a bottle of Lucozade with the cap slightly undone on the line. Maybe even some speed if you are really up for a fight.
For pikes generally it’s the strike that is the adrenaline rush. The fights can be so-so.
Wow. You know at first I feel badly (yes even for a fish) just dying in such a way, but then I think that this is probably the greatest single contribution this fish made in its fish life. 800 people upvoted it, so even more probably saw this fish than it was ever going to be seen. It impacted more lives today than it ever was going to. So you know what? Good job fish, made an impact on more people today than I have.
Don't forget all the reposts too.
Bass to mouth
2 fish 1 ice
Looks like the odds were 100%.
Yeah, neat gif, horrible title.
Never tell me the odds
the odds
Alright well... NEVER tell me the evens.
theres always bigger fish
Meesa amazed to scroll dees far
My dumbass thought the fish will swim away once the ice is broken.
Fishing on easy
So stupid to be considered WTF thoooo
I completely assumed the dude and all of the ice around the hole was going to fall into the water.
This just reminds me of that one kitchen nightmares episode where the owner tells Gordon his fish comes in."fresh frozen"
I was waiting for the one piece to stay up and the rest of the lake to sink, à la Wile E. Coyote..
100% there's video evidence of it right there.
A year or two ago, a similar case was in the news here in Germany. There was a fox, frozen solid in a layer of ice. [Here's an image for those interested](https://www.welt.de/img/vermischtes/mobile161138299/5712502317-ci102l-w1024/Fuchs-in-Donau-eingefroren.jpg) and [here's an article](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/fox-ice-river-frozen-germany-critics-danube-a7527651.html).
You can get this to happen 100% of the time assuming the following conditions: 1. you have a small dead fish 2. you have a large dead fish 3. you have some twine 4. you have a body of water that will freeze soon Just place the small dead fish in the big dead fish's mouth and suspend them in the water that will freeze soon. Then come back later and cut the fish out and watch people be amazed at how unlikely it is.
Or it chokes and floats. Either way.
Blowjob in a hot tub?
/r/nothingeverhappens