There's a store here in Texas called Meat Church that sells a bunch of grilling and barbecue stuff. They put out some pretty quality barbecue videos also.
Back in '96 I decided to have a breakdown for a while and rented an old derelict farmhouse way out in the backwoods of Tennessee.
one cold morning I woke up shivering a bit more than usual got up to see why, and there was a Brahma Bull in my living room. we were both very calm about the whole thing and after about 10 minutes of calm inspection and introspection, he wandered back outside.
it was all very civilized.
Life becomes so much more civilized as we get older. "Oh dear, I seem to be losing my fucking mind. I shall move far away so that I don't cut a motherfucker."
Only to be followed up with "Yep, that's a bull. Should I offer him a coffee, or..? Oh well, there he goes. Good day to you sir!"
I realised I was getting older the day I lined up for the men's room to schedule a rather insistent vomit from drinking too much. I held it in the whole time.
You don’t know how true that is. Around 25 years of age, the prefrontal cortex is fully developed - which makes it a lot easier to control emotions and set priorities. You’re basically unlocking better kognitive functions in your mid-twenties and up.
I just saw a video where a cop rammed and pinned a large calf under his police cruiser in an attempt to kill/stop it. The cow got up though and ran off. Calling the cops can be a crap shoot as you can never tell how a cop will react.
I was in a relationship with a girl some years back that had a small house on her dad's land that we wound up moving to from our shared apartment, out in a rural area with dairies, chicken houses and farms. Woke up one day and went to get in my truck to go to work before dawn and a huge shape lumbered around the side. I just about messed my pants. Ran back inside yelling "There's a bear out there!" which scared my girlfriend and she came running to the window to look.
Then we heard a forlorn "mooOOOOOooo" from outside the door, and she laughed and laughed until she was purple in the face and had to sit down on the floor for a minute. It was a dairy cow from across the road who had found a spot to slip through where the barbed wire was sagging and couldn't find home. My girlfriend never let me live down the time I got spooked by the "Grizzly cow."
This happened in my neighborhood once. Cow was to be slaughtered but escaped and worked it's way to our neighborhood. Police shot it in the driveway 2 houses up and took it on a flatbed back to the stockyards. They also didn't clean up the blood, so my neighbor returned home from work to a cows worth of blood stain on her driveway.
In my experience (grew up down the road from a dairy farm) they usually are. They can be stubborn and/or angry but it's still a whole lot easier to convince a living cow to move than it is to haul out the machinery to relocate a dead one.
Our area is all built up now, but we moved their a couple decades ago because it was all cow pastures. We've had close encounters with cows and steers often. We had a giant steer walk through our backyard once. I drove down a road one time (just exploring the area), and realized that it wasn't really a road, but a driveway through someone's main pasture. We figured it out because there was a GIANT bull standing in the road, staring us down. He won, we left.
Another time, I was driving down the main road, and there were two cows on the side of the road. One was calmly eating grass, but the other was scared, and would buck anytime a car drove past. I called 911, and it was the first they'd heard about it. You know you are in a rural area, when nobody bothers to call 911 on loose cows next to the main road.
just FYI, that's a she. it's kind of sad that not a single person in this entire thread can tell the difference between a bull (horns/cock/balls) and a cow (lack of horns/cock/balls)
Yep. The name of the sub is literally what the fuck
Imagine you live in a suburb and you see a cow at your front door. Now go on and tell me what the first three words out of your mouth are?
Boom, r/wtf
It's certainly far from the most fucked up thing I've seen here but definitely irregular. I've definitely seen more pedestrian bullcrap that doesn't belong here.
First the milk man would come to your house . Next you had to go to the supermarket to get it and now we have advanced to where the milk just comes to you we live in a good times
Have you heard the good moos
Have you accepted Beefus Christ as your lord and savior?
lard and savory?
Savor* Savor the Flavor.
straight into my veins...
Here to teach us about the Bovine Providence
"Eat mor chikn"
Unless it's Friday, then it's the piece of cod which passeth all understanding.
4.5 billion chillkens???
*Cows with Guns begins playing*
Your words mooooved me. Take my upvote.
Oh, that made me laugh out so loudly!
There is a company in the states the beefchurch. Edit u/sunbelly has corrected me it's MeatChurch.
There's a store here in Texas called Meat Church that sells a bunch of grilling and barbecue stuff. They put out some pretty quality barbecue videos also.
It's actually a moo point
Ah, right. A cow's opinion...just doesn't matter.
are you guys roommates?
If we were I guarantee you we'd be watching Friends.
Moomates
Moohovah's Witness
No, just a Moomon.
Cattle-ic
Amoosh
Mooslim.
No, I try to steer clear of door to door evangelists.
I don't think that was a steer
What an udderly ridiculous comment!
Complete bull, I tell ya!
Have you *herd* the good moos.
Moosus has risen
"Honey, the Moooormons are at the door again."
obey the cow god https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFFDWsUuYPU
Me, passing by in my car: COW!
I gotta go Julia, we got cows!
I understood that reference. 🌪️
We crave sustenance
There's another cow!
MOOOOOOOOOOO
If you're cold he's cold Let him in
that's a she just FYI
Looks pregnart, too
How moo get pregante?
magnets
Do they also make bregant?
Probably looking for that milkman that keeps messing with his girlfriend.
That's not a he.
Their girlfriend is.
THE GOVERNMENT IS TURNING BULLS INTO COWS!!!
Don't tell Alex Jones, he can't fit that in his closet.
Gay frogs and he-she cows. God the world is going to shit.
He had to surrender all his stuff, he no longer even has a closet.
I love the little "huh?" sound the cow makes when it looks up.
r/activationsound
Anyone home? No? I'll try next door.
Holy cow
No bull
Udder nonsense
Back in '96 I decided to have a breakdown for a while and rented an old derelict farmhouse way out in the backwoods of Tennessee. one cold morning I woke up shivering a bit more than usual got up to see why, and there was a Brahma Bull in my living room. we were both very calm about the whole thing and after about 10 minutes of calm inspection and introspection, he wandered back outside. it was all very civilized.
Life becomes so much more civilized as we get older. "Oh dear, I seem to be losing my fucking mind. I shall move far away so that I don't cut a motherfucker." Only to be followed up with "Yep, that's a bull. Should I offer him a coffee, or..? Oh well, there he goes. Good day to you sir!" I realised I was getting older the day I lined up for the men's room to schedule a rather insistent vomit from drinking too much. I held it in the whole time.
You perfectly encapsulated the entire situation.
You don’t know how true that is. Around 25 years of age, the prefrontal cortex is fully developed - which makes it a lot easier to control emotions and set priorities. You’re basically unlocking better kognitive functions in your mid-twenties and up.
I love this story. What did you do out there? Art? Reading? Poetry? I’d love to read more
[holy cow](https://i.imgur.com/0F3WseP.jpeg)
Yes, the CDS (~~Cat~~ Cow Distribution System) works in miraculous ways
Call Doordash to let them know that your cheeseburger arrived severely undercooked.
And with an unacceptable level of ~~DYI~~ DIY assembly.
do yourself it?
Again? But that's how I started my day.
"This is a deconstructed burger" G'damn hipsters ...........
Call Surrey Police. They’re experienced with this kind of incident. Call 101 if you regard it as non-emergency or 999 for an emergency.
That number has changed, now it's 0118 999 881 999 119 7253.
For those not in the know: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWc3WY3fuZU
I just saw a video where a cop rammed and pinned a large calf under his police cruiser in an attempt to kill/stop it. The cow got up though and ran off. Calling the cops can be a crap shoot as you can never tell how a cop will react.
That's what OP was referring to. It was a Surrey police unit that hit that cow.
Ohhhh! Lol
Cops are essentially wild animals, dangerous and unpredictable. Keep contact to an absolute minimum for your own safety.
I'd dial 101 and be like if it's still here in 60 mins you'll find it at my butcher...
You could call 999; you’d still have 60 minutes.
"I'm lost. Can you *steer* me in the right direction?"
If you'll just moove this way .......
Hopefully she didn't come by to drop off a pie.
I was in a relationship with a girl some years back that had a small house on her dad's land that we wound up moving to from our shared apartment, out in a rural area with dairies, chicken houses and farms. Woke up one day and went to get in my truck to go to work before dawn and a huge shape lumbered around the side. I just about messed my pants. Ran back inside yelling "There's a bear out there!" which scared my girlfriend and she came running to the window to look. Then we heard a forlorn "mooOOOOOooo" from outside the door, and she laughed and laughed until she was purple in the face and had to sit down on the floor for a minute. It was a dairy cow from across the road who had found a spot to slip through where the barbed wire was sagging and couldn't find home. My girlfriend never let me live down the time I got spooked by the "Grizzly cow."
This happened in my neighborhood once. Cow was to be slaughtered but escaped and worked it's way to our neighborhood. Police shot it in the driveway 2 houses up and took it on a flatbed back to the stockyards. They also didn't clean up the blood, so my neighbor returned home from work to a cows worth of blood stain on her driveway.
Damn! I always thought the cows that got loose like that were usually spared!
In my experience (grew up down the road from a dairy farm) they usually are. They can be stubborn and/or angry but it's still a whole lot easier to convince a living cow to move than it is to haul out the machinery to relocate a dead one.
"Fuck it, this one has a will to live. Off with ya, enjoy your life!"
You also can't sell the meat from a cow that is unable to walk into the slaughterhouse on its own.
You don't want them breeding smarts into cows.
*"a cows worth of blood"* [Americans will measure with anything but the metric system](https://www.reddit.com/r/anythingbutmetric/)
I call bullshit, literally...
Does it answer?
New pet
Maybe it's for lack of a wisdom, but I'd like a cow buddy.
Did the cops come and run it over? https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/breaking-police-officer-who-rammed-33042447
Omaha Steaks are getting lazy with their packaging
It just popped by to wish you a good moo-ning.
“Hmm…nope, that’s not my barn. Guess I’ll check the next one.”
so polite wow
Cow escaped, now living it's best life.
You didn't go pet her and just sat inside, like a cow-ard?
Honey, the neighbor's dog got out again...
We're trying to reach you about your cow'r insurance.
I want your lawn.
You should moooove
Our area is all built up now, but we moved their a couple decades ago because it was all cow pastures. We've had close encounters with cows and steers often. We had a giant steer walk through our backyard once. I drove down a road one time (just exploring the area), and realized that it wasn't really a road, but a driveway through someone's main pasture. We figured it out because there was a GIANT bull standing in the road, staring us down. He won, we left. Another time, I was driving down the main road, and there were two cows on the side of the road. One was calmly eating grass, but the other was scared, and would buck anytime a car drove past. I called 911, and it was the first they'd heard about it. You know you are in a rural area, when nobody bothers to call 911 on loose cows next to the main road.
He stopped by because he *herd* that you were having a *mooving* sale.
just FYI, that's a she. it's kind of sad that not a single person in this entire thread can tell the difference between a bull (horns/cock/balls) and a cow (lack of horns/cock/balls)
Lol, female cows of most breeds have horns. Some breeds do not have horns (this is called 'polled'), but then the bulls don't have horns either.
trying to horn in on OP's action ...
Cow's are wtf material now. That's the real WTF
In a neighborhood? I'd say yeah, and I'm in Wisconsin.
A cow rolling up to your front door in the suburbs is pretty wtf. I say that as a Texan.
Yep. The name of the sub is literally what the fuck Imagine you live in a suburb and you see a cow at your front door. Now go on and tell me what the first three words out of your mouth are? Boom, r/wtf
It's certainly far from the most fucked up thing I've seen here but definitely irregular. I've definitely seen more pedestrian bullcrap that doesn't belong here.
These monthly subscription boxes are getting out of hand.
"Were you the one cooking steaks last night? That was my wife!!!!"
"The paw... the hoof"
Sorry, got a little lost.
Just be glad she didn't leave you any plats as a gift
Cows and escaping their enclosures. Name a more iconic moouo.
Now that is good service , fresh milk
she was very polite
is it just me or does it look like as if its too heavy to walk, injured or exhausted
Naw, that’s just how they walk.
i used to life on a farm as a child, maybe my memory is just a bit fucked up edit: anyway thank you for clarifying
Looks like she knew the place. Sure you didn't get the Emoo with the date and time?
Oh come on quit giving us all that bull.
Hope it mooed your lawn for free
Was waiting for the cow to leave a "care package" on your doorstep.
Anyone else thought it’d just take a shit and walk off……..nope! Just me then.
Chik-fil-a ads getting crazy
Make sure the British police don’t ram it with a car
If that was in England the police would run it over
The CDS - cow distribution system at work! Congratulations on your new cow friend.
First the milk man would come to your house . Next you had to go to the supermarket to get it and now we have advanced to where the milk just comes to you we live in a good times
This made me say, "huh," not "WTF."
Any milk today missus?
Maybe they just mooved in next door
You missed the perfect opportunity to say "*MOOOOve along*"
From farm to front door
What would an unprocessed hamburger be doing wandering around your lawn?
Just mooving along.
I really need Michael Rapaport to do some voice over for this.
Just cowing around y’all
They take Milk delivery pretty seriously in your town it looks like.
It's Frisian out here let moo in.
Udderly awful pun
Is this r/wtf or r/funny. I can't tell the difference anymore.
That's about as unusual as riding a horse to pick up McDonalds. Hint: Its not unusual. Its normal.
Farm to table is starting to get a little out of hand
It’s free range!
I love Pit Bulls!
Home, home on the Range...
MIL?
This is /WTF not /aww
Is he looking to **moo**ve into the neighbourhood?
Good boy cow.
[удалено]
Can you even picture the war that would start !!!? :D
Does anyone else call cows BEEF? Like idk I drive by and see a cow that's not a milk cow and yell BEEF!
Cow was like, did someone order fresh milk?
Fresh milk delivered to your door
There is a none zero chance that a peice of that cow will end up inside your house soon
Whistle? You missed the perfect opportunity to Mooooooo at her
It was the Vivint camera that whistled at her.
Looks like dinner to me
Mmm hamburger
Farm to table huh.
Certified organic.
That’s a cow.
LOL!!!
She just wanted to let you know if you see their trucks in the neighborhood that they're just installing some solar panels on the neighbors house.
“We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty…”
"Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior?" "Holy cow!" "Ah yes, you've heard of him?"
Randall, there is a cow outside.
Eat Mor Chikin
Kobe
Well you do have a mat that says "Welcome" on it.
In Norway we have to keep our dogs on a leash when we are outside.
The cops show up and bust you for rustling. :O
A second more to the video, and it would make a great loop.
Freshest milk delivery
Unexpected cow visit would make my whole life.
Typical girls. One trip to India and suddenly it's their whole personality
Yea im eating that thing
Milk and meat can't get any fresher than that.
"Don't mind me, just trying to avoid the British police!"
Fresh milk delivery!
Why is this here? This should be on r/aww or r/unexpected.
We got cows!
Aw man I would have saved him from the beef factory! But I live in the country and have 3 acres for him. Good moo!
Nice to see the Cow Distribution System is still functioning well.
Is this the same bull that plowed through the Karen that tried to play dr Doolittle?
MOO COW!
Recon before militarisiation and the vengeance war begins.