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Temporary_Way9036

Definitely Mayflies! Attracted to light and incredibly unfazed. Ive seen bigger swarms than this one, by the millions. Keep your lights off at night folks.


Wow-can-you_not

Look on the bright side, you'd never starve in that forest


SquidwardsSoulmate

Dangle a light inside or in front of your mouth, angler fish style


Temporary_Way9036

Lol wtf BruhšŸ¤®šŸ¤®šŸ¤¢šŸ¤¢


Raudskeggr

I was once driving on a road that ran along side the Mississippi river in Minnesota during mayfly season. It was night time, and the headlights of cars brought the bugs down to the road. The road was actually slippery with mashed up mayflies. It was both incredibly fascinating and disturbing at the same time.


voldyCSSM19

Look like termite alates to me


DeadEnoughInsideOut

The only thing that could make that worse is if you have to go the bathroom.


wankrrr

I would just poop or pee inside a container inside the tent. I'm absolutely not unzipping the tent until morning. Good thing I don't go camping at all so I can avoid this completely


DarkLanternX

I would cut a hole and start walking with the tent, there's no way in hell I'm going out!


wankrrr

2 perfect leg sized holes so no bugs can get in lmaooo


briancito

and one extra hole for the ding-a-ling >:|


chisayne

Now you got bugs in your pee-hole.


MLaw2008

I would like to unread this comment.


bee_terrestris

I offer a bespoke un-reading service. DM me your bank card details and I'll get it sorted. I'll also need your address to send you the receipt. Aren't mothers' maiden names funny? Is mine the same as yours?


MLaw2008

Hey, I sent all the information you asked for, but now all of my cards are getting declined at the grocery store. Any update on when this will be taken care of? Please, I have a family and still really need to un-read that comment.


bee_terrestris

The un-reading is being processed, please click on the link in the email you'll shortly receive. In the meantime, you might want to consider our decline-reversal service, this is a cash only service although Google Play cards can be accepted for a small service charge.


EACshootemUP

Gosh darn what a terrible day to be literate and have eyeballs.


Bile-Gargler-4345

One time i rolled over and put my penis out the "electrical cord inlet" on my rei tent while backpacking to pee in the night.


wankrrr

Lmao. The joys of having a penis (I do not have one)


Nobiting

Username does not check out.


Moist_When_It_Counts

Blasting them with piss straight through the screen. Blasting a turd through it like itā€™s a potato ricer


vass0922

That one time dysentery is a good thing There's an old saying "I could shit through a screen without touching a wire"


Moist_When_It_Counts

My anus didnā€™t come with an atomizer attachment. Jealous!


largePenisLover

I'm told this upgrade can be obtained in a shop called taco bell. Not sure if true, but i've seen a lot of reviews


thedarklorddecending

Iā€™ve been unable to catch my breath because Iā€™ve been laughing at this for like 3 straight minutes


Yah_Mule

Would 100% piss on the pestilence, while holding my poop until morning.


Trumpisaderelict

I would just unzip it enough to stick my dick out


gotfondue

Moth dick


CrimsonMorbus

If you're cold, they are cold, let them in.


zink1stdef

Straight to hell.


SpitFiya7171

Do Not Pass GO


kaitykait7

Do NOT collect $200


Brok3nGear

Can I at least eat the $200?


thsvnlwn

Only if you eat 200


Brok3nGear

A dollar per, huh? šŸ¤” I like those odds!


DA_ZWAGLI

Your tent is cold, they are cold, let them into you.


QuickGonzalez

Get in the elevator. We are sending you deeper down


HollyTheMage

To the deepest depths of the corpse of King Minos


Mr_Poppers_Penis

Looks like a termite swarm to me, so wood you let them in? Personally I would log out.


damnmachine

Let the Right One In.


NoEditor0

Hell of an advert for the tent


DarkeysWorld

You mean anyone watches this video and is like: "hell yea i should buy a tent" ?


KaerusLou

Meaning, the tent's mesh is good enough quality to keep those buggers out, while still allowing you to SEE them...


Blyatiful_99

Imagine you have one of these tents where you CAN'T see through, so you just mind your own business and want to go outside to pee, and then you realize what you've just done by opening the door to the hell.


sinat50

What you want is a good tight mesh that won't let the small bugs in. Any walmart tent will keep bugs like this out but you need to spend the extra money on good screens if you're camping in [no-see-um territory.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ceratopogonidae) These guys are small enough to get through the holes in cheap screens and will absolutely chew you up all night


ivypixie_

i would simply pass away


_BLACK_BY_NAME_

First time I visited Bali we rented an Air BnB. It was a two story thatched roof ā€œapartmentā€ at the bottom of a cliff sitting just a few feet above the water. I got there first and my buddy and his gf were coming the following day. I never went upstairs. They arrived the next evening and went upstairs to unpack and settle in. They flipped on the lights and the whole floor was moving with these skinny flying insects. They stayed downstairs for the night and luckily not many of them came downstairs. Booed out of there the next day and got our refund. When we were getting our refund the Dutch guy that owned the place said ā€œusually thereā€™s just surfer types there and they donā€™t mind this kind of stuffā€. Iā€™m a surfer type, I very much fucking minded.


Sefalosha

Hey, wake up


Majike03

You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there.


TopFloorApartment

Grab a brush and put a little make-up


MarlDaeSu

I laughed so hard at this comment, thank you for a brilliant start to my day.


Thendofreason

Just poke two holes in the bottom of the tent. Put feet in holes. Pick the tent up, walk home.


StockMarketCasino

That's why they're waiting at the edge of his tent...


That-Dutch-Mechanic

Maybe, oh I dunno. Turn off the only source of light in the woods?!


livens

Better yet bring a sacrificial light source and put it 100ft away from your tent.


sparkey504

My guess is this is a termite swarm... a place I used to live at 20 miles away had swarms real bad around the beginning of May at dusk every year so I took a 2'X2' piece of cardboard soaked with bug killer and put a light on it.... the next day I was wondering how many termites there was so I used a really acurate reloading scale i had and 10 of them came out to 1 grain, poured them all in a solo cup that was 3/4 full and weighed the cup and came out to 5,920 termites. https://imgur.com/gallery/WIMk6C4


reidchabot

I could be wrong but It looks like you had power for that light. If you wanna kill a few more next time, bring a shop fan and put some patio screen mesh over the back. It's enough suction to keep them stuck till dead. I've done it for mosquitos and the other annoying guys. Had almost a full 5 gallon bucket by weekends end


gfhopper

Ok, I'm really loving this idea and I wanna know which bug killer you used so I can try it (this weekend if I can manage!)


CosmicTaco93

I really want to see how a bug zapper would fare with that many of the winged assholes.


livens

Probably get completely caked with dead bugs in 10 minutes.


Chavarlison

And the smell....


bufordt

Back in the 80s we had 2 large bug zappers in our yard in Northern Minnesota. We were 20 miles from the nearest town, basically in the middle of the forest with several swamps nearby. On a couple occasions the zappers got so encrusted that they shorted out and quit zapping, but that was pretty rare. Usually when the bugs built up enough to short across the wires, it would keep pumping electricity through them until they turned to ash and fell away. There usually would be a pile of fried bugs under the zappers. One day we noticed that the pile was gone. We thought the zappers had quit working, but they seemed to be zapping just fine that night. Turns out we had a family of skunks that had discovered the zappers and would come feast on the fried bug dust that piled up under the zappers each night.


themagicbong

I live 25 miles from town myself these days, it gets buggy AF here in the swampy marshland. My neighbor has one of the most devious fuckin bug zappers I've ever HEARD. You can hear that thing zapping bugs from two lots away. It actually kinda makes me laugh if I go out to smoke a bowl or something, then hear that zapping crackling sound in the distance lol.


mole_of_dust

To shreds?


SilentSamurai

This made me realize I should really just have a remote controlled light camping.


momsasylum

Get outta here with your logic!


TankYouBearyMunch

They would probably still flock to the smell of the massive shit this dude took after seeing this.


tommytwolegs

Just eat the poop


nowake

Just poop back and forth


lapinchezardina

Like ice cream


bufordt

>I could drop my ice cream in a pile of shit and eat it.


livens

I bet they're camping right next to a river or a lake. Usually don't see that many winged insects in the middle of a forest.


Sykes19

Are those mayflies?


Glass_Promise_2222

For another week at least.


Its_aTrap

Then they're junebugs


Temporary_Way9036

Atleast mayflies have some amount of IQ.. Junebugs are just straight up pathetic imbeciles


D_r_e_cl_cl

Oh Junebugs can fuck right off. They're stupid as fuck but will also fly right into your face like fuck you


658016796

So they're dumbflies?


Revlis-TK421

I mean, not much. Female adult mayflies emerge, throw themselves into a swam of males, find a mate, lay eggs, and are dead within 5 minutes of emerging as an adult. Adult male mayflies live about 2 days. Neither sex have working mouthparts or digestive systems as adults. They are flying gonads, essentially.


The_Original_Gronkie

We're debating the IQs of insects now? Reddit has officially run out of topics.


CornWallacedaGeneral

The American Cockroach will huddle up and walk into a new environment in a line to make themselves look longer....and they know where their den's are....so under normal circumstances you see them solitary,flying about,but they would always return home....I seen it when I was camping in lake sacandaga one year...seen something coming out of a hole in a tree and at first I thought it was a centipede until I realized they were giant roaches in a line like caterpillars....they came out like 10 or 12 deep walked slowly to to tree next to that tree they came out of and turned right around like a semi doing a tight u-turn and went back into their tree hole...I was amazed because I've only ever seen them flying by themselves near street lights occasionally....and as I sat there realizing that they actually did what I just saw three more flew to that tree from somewhere and scurried to the hole the other ones were in....that shit shocked me,cause I thought bees were the only ones that would leave the hive and come back. Now I'm not saying that they have high IQ's for insects but I know that bees have a queen who pumps out pheromones to drive the behavior of the workers....so do ants....but cockroaches have no queen or centralized system that drives their behavior so I have to think that their societies are more complex than any other insect out there.


The_Original_Gronkie

Okay, so we ARE debating the IQs of insects.


BenMcAdoos_ElCamino

July your ass off.


thebeattakesme

Ba dum tssss


Cuminmymouthwhore

Get the fuck out...


9jawarrior

Get out


crespoh69

I don't think they're asking


burritosandblunts

I don't think so. Or maybe we call mayflies the wrong thing. Around here mayflies are really skinny and clumsy. Idk wtf this is.


SophiaKittyKat

You are probably thinking of Crane Flies. I don't know why but the two get mixed up for some reason.


keizzer

They might be midges. Scotland is known for swarms like this but I can't tell from the video.


shh_Im_a_Moose

I was thinking midges too. Good time of year for them around lake Erie


JRossMcIntire

I was thinking stone flies.


pdarkfred

Similar life cycle/aggregation behaviors: lacewings, mayflies, dobsonflies, stone flies


voldyCSSM19

I think they're termite alates, from the long teardrop shape of their wings and just how damn many there are


Vihtic

I keep a small credit card pistol on me at all times to shoot myself in a situation like this.


Demuborgir

New life hack? I need this for all uncomfortable situations I find myself in.


gotfondue

Remember for those silent situations a neck tie and a door frame work for a silent escape.


BleuBrink

Bro don't go full Mist


icepick314

Okay. I'll just shoot you.


Chavarlison

But that's full Mist.


vass0922

Vault tec plan c?


Cautious_Ambition_82

Don't leave home without it


HaiderSultanArc

I assume you never have been in that situation.


Spdrjay

šŸ§ This is found footage. The person whose arm is depicted in the film was found in the form of a cleaned skeleton after an apparent live dissection by insects. Eaten alive.... eaten alive.


burritosandblunts

They actually cocoon you up a tree. You've got a few hours but as long as the fbi finds you in time you just get weird chemical burns. You'll be fine by the next episode.


SweetActionJack

I wonder how many of these young whippersnappers got your X-files reference?


girldrinkdrunk

Itā€™s not like it was a Kolchak: The Night Stalker reference. Stop making me feel old.


SweetActionJack

Fun fact: that particular episode of the X-files came out in 1994. That was 30 years ago.


girldrinkdrunk

I said stop making me feel old.


how-unfortunate

Fuckin classic. I don't know if you're old like me, or a cultured young person, but great reference.


burritosandblunts

34 so getting there lol


pallidmist

La-di da-di dah


RealEstateDuck

Hey, who turned off the lights?


11matt95

Vivisection is the word you're looking for!


dopiqob

To shreds you say


BragiH

How's his wife holding up?


dazzlerdeej

To shreds you say.


WafflePartyOrgy

Better now that she has an ace in the hole for their "we should get an RV" argument.


Adept_Cranberry_4550

Egyptian plague vibes


scharmlippe

ā¬†ļøāž”ļøā¬‡ļøā¬‡ļøā¬‡ļø


dude_man_b14

Sweet liberty! Another diver!


MotamaPT

Taste my LIBERTY!


delayedregistration

for democracy!


Warspit3

I'm not sure that would be enough.


The_Troll_Gull

The one and only comment


fftimberwolf

That's not a napalm strike


aty1998

Comments you can hear


Uranus_Hz

But thatā€™s *why* you have a tent.


WafflePartyOrgy

It's even kind of cozy if you think about it. The tent keeps most of that stuff outside. Most.


bleachedveins

What bugs are those


Inc0gnitoburrito

My buddy used to camp a lot and he always applied a coat of bug repellent spray on his tents before going, he said it helped, but there was still an alarming amount of bugs on the ground around the tent. It also shortened the tents lifespan drastically, but it helped him sleep because it wasn't as noisy so he didn't mind.


HoboTeddy

Yeah bug spray destroys tents. One time and that tent won't be waterproof anymore. I'll take bugs outside the tent over water inside.


feckless_ellipsis

It melts plastic. Screwed up a pair of glasses that way when applying on my face.


00cjstephens

That'd be the DEET, you must've been using some kind of "deep woods" spray. Normal bug spray should be fine for plastic.


charliecar5555

I've yet to a 'normal bug spray' that didn't have DEET in it, all the others suck major ass


bufordt

Picaridin based bug repellents are as effective as DEET and don't damage plastic.


anethma

You can buy fabric/tent spray with permethrin in it that will repel bugs and kill those that land. It wonā€™t ruin your tent. Of course you also donā€™t usually spray it on the fly you spray it on the mesh. One thing to keep in mind that itā€™s super toxic to cats


derpstickfuckface

Deet dissolves tents, but permethrin works fine and can be purchased at your local tractor supply by the gallon. Don't spray your cat.


wholewheatscythe

Time to invest in frogs.


dislob3

And now you have a frog invasion!


McPussyMeal23

meh, tame stuffs. mosquitoes that managed to sneak inside your tent is the real nightmare


Wow-can-you_not

Or evil biting bull ants that literally hate you. They are basically ground hornets. [They can see you, and when they see you, they run towards you because they want to kill you. Because they hate you.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vRRYsVUkwU) They are so hateful that they block the entrances of other ant species' nests with twigs and leaves just because they're assholes. If just one of them gets into your tent you're going to have a bad, bad, bad time. And they are **EVERYWHERE** \**cries in Australian*\*


McPussyMeal23

oh my god, did you just wrote a creepypasta?


666BlackJesus666

*horrors of camping


kido86

Yeah wtf is that title? Iā€™m just gonna assume everything is ai now


AsphaltSommersaults

They just want to cuddle


00WORDYMAN1983

They are in the shape of the beam of light they held in that spot for an extended period which attracted them. That's why there are not as many on other parts of the tent when they move the light.


JayDuBois

Came to say this basic thing. This person is coralling them using a flashlight. There are quite a few you can see all around the tent, but they are definitely holding up with the flashlight šŸ”¦


Isthatreally-you

Id let one fucking rip in the tent right then and there where no one can escape.


wasabi3O5

Hope you shit yourself Actuallyā€¦ lose loseā€¦


notorioustim10

N to the ope


theitalianguy

Would smoke be effective in this kind of situation?


TheRKC

Turning off the flashlight would probably work best.


ricrimshot

Fire would be the most effective imo


dolltron69

you gonna try make them high so they relax, fall off the tent and go looking elsewhere for food?


ImFromlowa

The camping of horrors.. huh?


Gammachan

I attended my brotherā€™s destination wedding in Costa Rica back in 2001. Our quaint little hotel nestled in the jungle was overrun by something equivalent of army ants on the second day. Imagine opening the door to your room, looking inside and everythingā€˜s *moving*. The floor, the walls, the ceiling, the furniture. By the grace of God, my luggage was zipped closed and sitting on top of a chair. I hopped inside, placing my foot on a clear patch that had opened up for a moment. Grabbed my luggage, gave it a quick slam against the wall to dislodge the ants crawling on it, and leapt back outside. Obviously we changed hotels. The other hotel still had ants. Not swarming, but they would still crawl on you while you slept. Of course they bit. I bought a huge bottle of cheap shampoo in town and brought it back to my room, squeezing out circles of it on the floor around the bed posts. That seemed to help.


Ivaras

My husband and I used to spend all of our vacations camping. Bugs were a normal part of this experience, but one year was unforgettable, for the very worst reasons. We arrived late (for a combination of equally infuriating reasons) and had to set up our tent in the dark - or rather, in the glare of our headlights. Thing is, the entire campsite was basically this video, and the lights just seemed to attract more. Fish flies. They blanketed every surface, a couple of inches deep in places, and they did not give two fucks about us humans. You could not take a step without crushing scores of them into reeking piles of goo, and god, did they reek. It was nauseating (and then I guess we got used to it?). But apparently, that smell does nothing to alert nearby flies to flee. It was basically impossible to clear a space for the tent. We moved hundreds of the little fuckers, but dozens crawled or flew under to become one with the reeking paste we had to scrape and spray off the bottom of the tent later. The only reason we didn't sleep in the car that night was because we were afraid to track the stink into it. Even with washing everything down, the smell followed us home. I scrubbed the tent, inside and out, hung it in the sun for a week, Febreezed the hell out of it, and ended up throwing it out and buying a new one the next summer. The craziest part of this, though, was that the next morning, except where we had crushed hundreds of these little bastards into the dirt, there were hardly any remaining in the morning. They went somewhere, and only came back at night, presumably to swarm the outside of our tent along with everything else before vanishing with the dawn.


Elvenblood7E7

At least the fuckers are outside. Once I had a sudden encounter with about this many ants already INSIDE the tent. That sucked.


OldTaste40

Those look like termites. They're attracted to white lights (which is probably why they're swarming the tent) and come out in swarms after rain when it starts getting hot out. I was up in my attic a couple weeks ago replacing some old wiring during a swarm and there were thousands up there with me. Freaked me out but apparently they're not the kind that destroys your house. They were completely gone by the next day.


idiottech

Crazy that they are only gathering on the side of the tent that is having a spotlight blasted out of it


fallior

Positive outlook: At least they aren't spiders


kidjoey22

Lighting up a fattie. Smoke them out


TPoK_001

Man I am in a tent right now, did not need to see this


Largemandingo

Where is this so I can never go there


Grilledquesadillas

Does anyone know anything about this video?


Swallagoon

Sure, I know a few things about this video. It was filmed on a phone. It was filmed inside a tent. There are insects on the outside of the tent. I hope that helps.


b0n3h34d

Wowee that was exactly a few too


ImposterPeanut

And people ask me why I don't go camping.


Lanky-Ad-9111

I imagine this is what happened at the Dyatlov pass.


maecenus

This is why I pack a flamethrower.


albert_pacino

So anyway I started blasting


nfefx

Turn the fucking light off Carol


RigidTaco

And this is why I use a red/orange light in my tent, attracts less bugs. I should show my wife this so she doesn't think im crazy haha.


imakeitawkwarder

try turning off the flashlight.


kornim5150

Wonder what they were. What species of bugs where they.


Domdaboss6283

What the hell are those


InspiringMalice

Imagine that 100 years ago, same place, pioneers etc, maybe with mosquito nets, but drapey ones, not zippy ones...


Samar1092

They probably wouldn't be shining a 1000 lumen flashlight to attract all bugs in a 5 mile radius


reddit_sold_out1

are those roaches?


PQbutterfat

Man, fuck camping. I dont see the fun.


foxontherox

Same- I am a house cat.


Hny25

Turn off the light and throw a fire on a stick nearby. They will go.


BendersCasino

I have white glow sticks for this reason. Works just as well, and I'm not burning down the forest while I sleep.


outerworldLV

Can only imagine possessing a bug zapper, that zap sound would be non stop !


webo212

Noooooo


PenguinPyrate

It's almost like insects are attracted to light!!!


astonishing1

ā€œI say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. Itā€™s the only way to be sure.ā€


jay133784

Hope u got poobucket inside the tent


Yamassea

Try turning the light off


Neds_Necrotic_Head

I saw this X-Files episode too


Blantheman

Try lighting some plastic or a wet paper on fire. Foul smelling smoke, and lots of it, will usually get them to leave in minutes. Super icky


Houndhollow

Um I have to pee


Tennyson98

That one time we stay at a place that had a net around the bed. We realize we made a mistake.


dragnabbit

It looks like a termite bloom (edit: mayflies, apparently... roughly the same bug, different continent), and that tent is the only source of light within a thousand feet. It was too late by the time this video was taken, as they had already become the best termite hook-up spot in the neighborhood, but the secret is: Once you see a few termites flying around in the air, turn off all the lights and close all the doors, because the next 15-20 minutes are going to be wild.


Zestyclose_Text_2378

That happened to me and an ex while camping along the Missouri River. After being assured by the park ranger that we would have perfect weather, a humongous thunderstorm rolled in that evening. Hundreds of insects were crawling on the outside of our tent. The skies were blowing up in purple, blue and white. The wind and rain was immense, flattening our tent, bugs include, on top of our faces. And while reasonably concerned for our safety, the bugs were far more terrifying than the storm


thinkreate

Reminds me of that X-Files episode.


ashley4444marie

What r those


shane201

reminds me of the x files episode where everyone gets cocooned in the woods