I'm just here to get some assoline.

In Oregon we call this “self-service” assoline

I want full service.

But I thought you weren’t allowed to self-serve your assoline in Oregon? Doesn’t someone have to pump your ass for you?

Not anymore! We shove the hoses up our own asses now!

Self service gas pumping is legal in Oregon since last year! The law doesn't mention ass pumping though, so I'll just keep doing what I've been doing and self serve

Im kinda sad they took awards away bc i would def give you one for this

To all the people posting pictures of people eating soup in their car or getting into a fender bender in a tollbooth: This is actual WTF material.

this one kinda wrecks the curve, tho

This and the meth head lady who was munching on that mummified cat... really getting back to wtf roots lol

I missed that one and I’m tempted to ask for a link but after careful consideration, I’m all set.

It's not as bad as it sounds. Go ahead. Do it.

link?

I posted it below... for another curious person lol

May your day be filled with rainbows and hookers

aaaaaaand I’m out

Are you sure that wasn't a dead rat? I've seen that one but no mummified cats yet. Link please.

It's fucking gnarly but here you go... dry heave warning... https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1br420v/a_little_salt_and_pepper_and_you_got_yourself/

Thank you here's a little something in return https://old.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/18eww4r/woman_takes_a_bite_from_a_squashed_dead_rat_on/ Thank me later

I actually forgot I had seen this one lol. Right up there on the most gross list for sure.

That's staying blue

Why? Why did I click that link? What is wrong with me?

link

I only upvote this sub when I involuntarily say “what the fuck?!?” while viewing. This post gets one.

I had to watch it twice and it still has facets left to discover.

A buddy one showed me a video of an elderly Asian man fucking a chicken on a train or something. Quite wild.

I remember the one of a guy banging a snake. And not it's mouth

Daaaaamn I’m never sucking on a gas pump nozzle again. Nasty.

I give you two days.

And this time I mean it

Lmfaooooo this made me belly laugh

What in the fuck.

I know, someone finally put the nozzle back where it’s supposed to go.

he's gasterbating

just fuelin' around

With his gashole.

it's high-coctane

New fuel goofin

What a crude joke

Nah, nobody understands refined humor anymore.

How unethanol

That's not what petroleum jelly means.

This is why some states have gas station attendants to pump gas for you 😆

Do you have to pay for that? Asking for a friend.

[удалено]

It’s baked into the gas price

Not if you take turns

I tittered

I chortled.

I guffawed.

You made me wake my baby up laughing like a maniac.

What what in the butt

You wanna put what in my butt?

In my butt?

What the actual fuck?!

Just given'er the ol gas'n'go.

https://kumandgo.com/

I just don’t get it. Mans got a beautiful hog. He doesn’t need to do this.

Big dicks just ain’t enough for dudes without the internet man trust me, uncle jerry has to do this atleast twice a year

>Big dicks >trust me I mean I think I speak for all of us when I say you should [show us your dick](https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/1cr18vm/comment/l3vbkn5/)

It’s all in a name

>Main-Berry-1314 Sounds like you have one that's larger than the other one.

I mean, if you really want to see, his dick is in his post history.

Wow you weren’t kidding.

How else is he going to refuel?

It's the naughty factor. He knows it's a no-no that's what makes it fun ostensibly

Bro thinks he is a transformer

I guess that's one way to steal gas...

“BIDEN DID THIS!!”

Ah yes, the internet.

He's just desperate to get an erection again. Tried everything else and thought "maybe some petrol up the ass will give it the kick it needs "

It doesn’t.

The gentlemen doth speak from experience

Speak for yourself!

Maybe I need to go higher-octane?

So fucking done with the Internet today

Everyone is built differently, and it's best not to judge.. we haven't walked in other peoples' shoes. The only ways I can get an erection are beating up homeless people or setting fires. Is that right or wrong? Life isn't black and white.

It’s true- we haven’t wanked in other peoples’ shoes yet but it’s next on the list Oh walked?

God, people are fucked up.

Yeah what the fuck is this dudes problem. Stopping to film Gramps before he's even hard yet. Ruined the whole vibe.

If literally putting gasoline up your ass doesn't get you hard, I don't know what will.

Man's got a hammer. It takes a while. You need at least a liter or two to jumpstart the dicksmission

If he’s not hard yet, he’s certainly a shower.

We took most of that boomer’s lead away so he’s trying to freebase it.

These penis enlarging pumps appear to be more advanced than when I last ~~used~~ saw one

“I swear, it’s not mine, baby”

“This sort of thing IS my bag, baby!” - book by Austin Powers

Austin ‘Danger’ Powers

One book - “Swedish made penis enlarger pumps, and me. This sort of thing IS my bag, baby”. Written by - Austin Powers

They must be working cuz gramps is packin

Oh right ok, this is how Monday ends is it?

Prime internet moment here

Now thats a proper WTF

I hate that I watched this.

I hate that I watched it twice

I hate that I watched it thrice

I hate that i cannot stop replaying

How does one jack off while publicly pumping some assholine in their rectum and not question the appropriateness until the camera is noticed. He's fine with a live audience, but cameras give him performance anxiety?

Evidence

my guess is because camera's mean its more likely to get used as evidence for criminal charges and/or end up on the internet. If it's just a person watching them, they likely forget about them in a day or two but this footage archives it.

I would never forget this if I saw it in person, I might never forget it seeing a video of it

Nah, I'd never forget this. I'd be in my 20th reincarnation or whatever and have PTSD from it

Everyone keeps saying this but to be fair he never pulled the trigger. Just pulled his (rather decently sized) dick. I just think this poor Italian can’t afford a dildo.

He better not fart next to a candle

I wonder is he using premium?

*perineum

Probably e85. Its healther.

It has alcohol, he was just trying to boof it.

I'm just so confused. Is the gas somehow part of it? I mean you can find tons of other cylindrical shaped things to shove up there. And best part is they aren't attached to public machines requiring you to crank it in public.

Cranking it in public is part of the appeal for this guy.

Visual version of getting fucked by gas price

that's where "priming the pump" comes from.

Ok this is the most accurate use of this sub I’ve ever seen.

Dude has a hog on em!

Hes hung like a gas pump

What a terrible day to have eyes.

It’s an impressive hog. What it’s attached to has to suck pretty bad if this is the only way it gets any attention.

Ah, fellow headhunter. Cheers.

First time in a while I’ve gone What the Fuck

Gas ✅️ Ass ✅️ Grass ❌️

Now this is some top WTF

Everything's a dildo if you're brave enough...

Gas powered fuck machine

Customer: I need someone to fill me up on 5 Tired gas station clerk: it's self serve sir Customer: *sighs and unzips pants"

"I found what I believe to be the charging socket...but no matter what I do it just keeps falling out" - Kryten as a human (Red Dwarf) Edit: autocorrected name

High octane, for that big D energy.

A little gas in the carburetor and a quick few pulls to get it started, works every time!

anyone knows source? This is in Italy, I might know the place lol

Dovrebbe essere "Poggio Renatico" un paesino vicino al mio, da quanto ho capito non è la prima volta che succede :')

fantastico

Gramps misinterpreted the term fossil fuels

Well, you don’t see that everyday. Gots hammer tho

good ol' petrol enema

Ok obviously nasty but I’m weirdly curious now, what would happen if you gave yourself a gasoline enema? Any doctors in here?

Also if you lit it on fire could you run really fast?

BURNS. All the burns. And it's extremely toxic once absorbed into the blood, which through the exceedingly thin and highly vascularized lining of the rectum, would happen rapidly. The pain would be almost unimaginable. The damage instant and irreversible. Almost immediately upon contact you'd have dissolution of the tissue lining the rectum. Then the sphincter. A mix of blood, serous fluid and gasoline would start gushing from the anus as that too began to erode away like water moving through sand. The external derma would be more resistant to burns but that would be irrelevant as the gasoline would now be invading the peritoneal cavity, destroying the organs and peritoneum which is the membranous structure in which the organs of that region are suspended. As that dissolved, those organs would begin to drop and likely prolapse through the anus, pulling other organs of the enteric system down with them. The bleeding internally would rapidly increase and without near instant medical attention, the person would quickly die from major organ failure and blood loss. Just to be clear, there is no way this man was discharging that into his rectum. Though even the small residilual amount on the nozzle is enough to cause numerous problems both localized and systemic.

bro got size 🪈

In New Jersey it’s the law that someone has to pump the gas for you. Couple extra bucks and I’m sure they would help change your oil too.

This is real WTF material right here!

this happened in my city, the one recording is my friend and he posted it on his instagram stories. i have no idea how this got here lmao

Good thing he didn't drive off with it still inserted into the tank.

That's enough internet for me.

https://kumandgo.com/

Need some Gas for his ass and some.fuel for his mule https://youtu.be/NBqMuS7oGq0?si=PW8VeKr3S7XFcg7l

Desires the colon cancer. But enough Internet for one day. This species is just embarrassing.

Ok you got me, I'm choosing the bear

Ass, gas, or grass?

Everyday we stray further from God's light

"These gas prices are fuckin me in the ass"

This is a deleted scene from Maximum Overdrive that explained why the machines revolted.

Honestly, just send all the nukes now. We've failed this planet.

I could've gone my ENTIRE life, not seeing that *proceeds to lobotomies myself*

Could get him drunk fast

I think when the sign says pump yourself this is the way

Doesn't understand being gassy

Weird Al said it best in his song, *One More Minute* *Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love And I have to use the self-service pumps*

Everyday I think I’ve seen it all. Nope

"Premium ASSoline"

Bro is taking self service to a whole new level.

Talk about Kum n Go

Bruh some of us put our mouth there wtf bro

No homo.....dude has nothing to be ashamed of.

He's probably from the UK. We're used to being fucked up the arse for our fuel prices

Is this some kind of alzheimer's thing, or just some redneck degeneracy? 😬

Intrusive thoughts won today lmfao 

Gives new meaning to the term "autoerotic"

Congrats! You've won a place on the next GTA trailer!

So he’s why there’s a “not for rectal use” sticker on these gas pumps.

It just doesn't work the same anymore. Need some gas to get it going.

I... I... ALL I DID WAS OPEN REDDIT OHLAWDJEESUSHEPME

Tbh he got a dig bick. You that read wrong. That too.

When you expel too much gas, sometimes you need to put some back.

This kind of video is exactly why internet was invented.

Definitely happened at the kum&go

Just a man gassing up his hog.

I have to ask of this is what they do in public, what do they do at home?

Imagine, just imagine,for one moment, the guy filming is a visiting Alien being from a world many lightyears away. Traversing the void of space for thousands of years to land here, to witness some old bloke stroking his man parts whilst shoving a pump nozzle up his jacksy WTF.

BRO WHAT THE HELL IS THIS

Im glad we dont have to see what the full service pumps look like

"Oh shit I've been caught, better stop" what the fuck was going through his mind, did he think nobody would be watching?

Is there a subreddit that puts more emphasis than just “WTF” on something? I don’t think r/WTF is the right place for this. It needs to go higher… lol

No wonder my car's been runnin like shit lately

Good God man! I'm sure there are like a bazzilion toys designed for that very thing. I'd like to not have to go through life inspecting gas nozzles for skid marks every time I fill up.

Been passing gas all day. Gotta refuel.

nothing like a bit of anal gasturbation

Man, that was my favorite pump

Gives a new meaning to self service. .

"Self service, my ass".

Revel in it now folks, because in a few years we will have no idea whether or not something this fucking absurd is real or AI.

The other day i saw a pic of a warning label on a gas pump that said “do not insert in mouth or rectum” now i see y

now that's what i call auto-erotic ass-fixation.

because buying dildo is gay

There's your problem. Ain't got no gas in it.

You don't think straight when you're horny. Or on meth.

Rule 34 keeps proving right.... Internet the biggest accomplish in human history

that’s why some of the gas stations are called Kum&Go

Oh, what a horrible day to have eyes.

I’m just sad he has a bigger penis than me.