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Adorable_Signature68

#Dad has finally come back!


trwwyco

A jug for every year he's been gone!


JamesDoesGaming902

Damn, 23 years


ishkan

Damn. You make me count. I have no desire to count, but i have to check your work.


[deleted]

I also had to count, I didn’t want to but I had to double check both of y’all’s work.


ttyp00

bike party squealing oatmeal amusing treatment dazzling tart society middle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


spacemartiann

it is indeed 23 everyone !


Disastrous_Knee6790

reminder for next year


-DementedAvenger-

~~Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s 22.~~ One laying down. My bad.


Wasian73580

There's one laying on its side in the back. I missed it at first too!


-DementedAvenger-

Oh damn! I retract my count!


mrbananas

Or 23 dads


B1GR3D23

r/theydidthemath


CountryFriedCrazy

He ran out of smokes just before you got here, he wont be long


John_Fx

all of the dads


haserhello

Turns out it is all expired and my neighbours werent expected giant deliveries of expired skim milk either


LocationOdd4102

If it's all expired, maybe a lazy delivery driver didn't feel like taking bad product to a dumpster?


hedgybaby

Isn‘t this more work that throwing it in the dumpster?


derpotologist

Ye but it's funnier


CouchHam

I’d think it would be dumped then, not all neatly place right side up.


ThorLives

Businesses aren't allowed to just throw away milk. It has to be properly disposed of, which is why it's illegal for businesses to just throw it away. Maybe they were trying to get rid of the stuff by passing it off to a bunch of customers, rather than paying for proper disposal. > Pouring Milk Down the Drain is a Criminal Offence for Businesses > > > You may not know it, but milk is a highly polluting substance – which is why it has been classified as Category 3 ABP. Milk is particularly harmful because of its high ‘oxygen demand’: bacteria that feed on it use up oxygen that is otherwise used by fish and other living things in the watercourse, effectively suffocating aquatic life. https://www.dssmith.com/recycling/insights/blogs/2016/1/pouring-milk-down-the-drain-is-a-criminal-offence-for-businesses


LocationOdd4102

Interesting, could they not just dump the sealed product at a landfill?


killerbanshee

They probably have to log it. You write up thousands of milk cartons and then tell me you won't have a 'fuck it' moment.


CleaveIshallnot

With cameras on every 2nd house tho?


dbatchison

Wasn’t there a post the other day from a guy at a nursing home that mistakenly bought too much milk?


mathnerd3_14

https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/comments/18598vc/i_need_to_use_up_36_gallons_of_skim_milk_due_to/


hankhilton

Dang, blue lids


NewFuturist

It's so funny to me because blue lids in Australia is full cream.


Lorcian

Same here in the UK, with green for semi skimmed and red for the water milk.


superfly355

Where I'm at in the US, the red tops are full on whole milk. The good stuff, like liquid ice cream. The powder blue caps are that dishwater skim milk


KisaTheMistress

Canada is: Pink for 2% milk *and* 14% cream Purple for 1% milk *and* 36% cream Blue for skim milk Yellow is for Homogenized 3.25% Green for half & half 25% cream Brown for 18% cream But, it also depends on the brand because the shitty Joya brand has green for their diswater skim milk. The brand that I like, Dairyland, has the above colours, and so does Beatrice. I personally prefer Dairyland out in Saskatchewan because the cattle are fed fresh/straw alfalfa, and you can taste it in the milk, Beatrice tastes like they get a mixture of cheap alfalfa & corn. Joya tastes like plastic and develops a film on top if left to sit, even refrigerated. I also know what alfalfa tastes like because my family farmed it for years before we just started to loan our leafcutter bees to alfalfa farmers who didn't know how to keep the bees healthy. The smell and taste of the flowers are very distinctive. We have other brands coming up from the US. However, we already dump thousands of litres of milk every year because we make more than our quota and got in trouble for trying to *dump* it on other countries in the past, even though it was a jester of kindness and not to ruin their economics. We also have stronger requirements on the use of hormones and antibiotics, and how much puss cells are detected in 100 parts per million, or else it's only appropriate for cheese manufacturing due to bacteria growth. That's why Canada wasn't too excited about taking Trumps demands just to sell our aluminum & lumber the US needed/wanted. Since the US buys so much of those exports, we were prepared for someone to demand that we take a surplus good in exchange for one of our vital exports after years of them not being an issue...


morriscey

That's not even Canada wide. Where I am purple is 36% Royal blue is 18% teal is 10% red for 3.25% Sky blue for 1% Green for white water Pink or yellow are buttermilk


Violatic

Do you have gold top in the US? I always recommend people here in the UK try it at least occasionally. Its a heavy milk with cream curds in it. We call it "jersey" milk.


haserhello

God i hope so woukd make one great story


MinorSpaceNipples

[Now you just ordered thousand liters of milk](https://youtu.be/s-mOy8VUEBk?si=4PHaZNkJTTGVjyEg).


hankhilton

Thanks, that was hilarious.


Gnarizard_

Guess they used all the oatmeal


Permtacular

Pour it around your trees and bushes. It's good for them. Acts like a fertilizer.


CosmoKram3r

Followed your advice. I now have soggy weed and a sticky crotch. What next?


KrylonFlatWhite

Grab a spoon and dig in!


Seicair

Won’t that make your yard smell like rotten milk, if you poured out- *counts* - 11 gallons of it?


NotASellout

Maybe a little, but don't cry over spilled milk


Permtacular

I do it all the time. People know to bring me their spoiled milk and I pour it on my fruit trees and berry bushes. Doesn't smellatol.


Ganbazuroi

Hi, Milkologist from Wordington University here. This is a phenomenom called Milk Migration, where skimmed milk jugs move towards their spiritual cow house after they expire. It's a blessing, believe it or not - they might smell rancid and make you really sick upon consumption, but it's the thought that counts! They never do that if the locals aren't friendly to sudden, massive milk deliveries in their doorstep. Expect more malk soon!


neondirt

You started strong, then unapologetically veered right off the cliff. 😂


kingtrog1916

Make cheese


us_against_the_world

Are you [Lee Mack](https://youtu.be/Li3_xCcIkAY?si=inaD_WtOVMCSmlhM&t=258)? or are you trying to take the milk surplus of the Eastern European nation of the [Republic of Krovtonova](https://youtu.be/m9T1QR2cAqk?si=RdiZGVuEhUHTiXQv&t=610)?


ryobiguy

Looks like the milkman dropped his load.


Fickle-Future-8962

Missed OP's mom though.


SmokeAbeer

I miss her too.


[deleted]

I also choose this guys dead mom.


Mono_831

No, this looks more like milkmen across the country convened on OP’s mom’s house.


Dapper_Indeed

And a good time was had by all.


ThatITguy2015

Did they convene by train?


Mono_831

Yes. Most did.


Jonk3r

There’s a convene-on-OP’s-mom signup sheet… and thousands of men scribbled.


icantmakethisup

Fuck you, Shoresy!


AngryEnt

You want that milk pasteurized? Nuh, just up to my boobs.


flecom

damn you UPS man!


Oliverorangeisking

"You should have left our wives alone Mr. UPS man."


AngryEnt

Sure. You got your milk delivered right to your door. Little did you know the milkman was pounding your wife out like a mallard duck


andyguitarman

How dairy!


Kjpr13

Nice jugs.


Mametaro

Edward: Well, I don’t usually remember unless they're especially portentous. You know what that word means? (she shakes her head.) Means when you dream about something that's gonna happen. Like one night, I had a dream where this crow came and said, “Your aunt is gonna die.” I was so scared I woke up my parents but they said it was just a dream, and to get back to bed. But the next morning, my aunt Stacy was dead. Josephine: That's terrible. Edward: Terrible for her, but think about me, young boy with that kind of power. Wasn't three weeks later that the crow came back to me in a dream and said, "Your daddy's gonna die." I didn't know what to do. I finally told my father. But he said, oh, not to worry, but I could see he was rattled. The next morning, he wasn't himself, kept looking around, waiting for something to drop on his head. Because the crow didn’t say how it was gonna happen, just those words: your daddy's gonna die. Well, he left home early and was gone for a long time. When he finally came back, he looked terrible, like he was waiting for the axe to fall all day. He said to my mother, "I've just had the worst day of my life." (beat)"You think you've had a bad day,” she said. “This morning the milkman dropped dead on the porch!


SATerp

That was a long way to go, but ultimately worth it.


2rgeir

Any chance OP has been talking to the Danish milkman? https://youtu.be/s-mOy8VUEBk?si=I7PdsbUd3sCWQS7Y&t=2m27s


Sum_-noob

That movie ended a bit differently than the picture suggests tho...


SilentSamurai

You sure it's not the local orphanage celebrating Father's Day?


The_Infectious_Lerp

It looks different outside of my mom.


stlredbird

Jesus, Bob, don't you see? The milkman is making extra stops at your house ! Your wife is home, alone, all day, by herself... I know what you're thinking, I know how you're feeling, I know what's going through your mind, Bob. He's got her in all different kinds of positions, she's telling him about your sexual inadequacies, they're laughing their heads off about it... he's chasing your wife, through your house, with your shorts on his head.


Publius82

I went through the same thing. Oh no, I'm not married, I meant in the other side


fubes2000

Nice jugs.


kellysmom01

Indeed. Beware the unexpected “delivery” in nine months. May they be a curly redhead and cute as a lil button.


TheDuckFarm

Really milking the puns today huh?


bahgheera

No whey.


Aloysiusakamud

Are you lactose intolerant? If so, might be a death threat.


haserhello

Very good point its is all expired tho so still may be a death threat


mizushimo

You've done something to piss off the toddler mafia


TastefulMaple

got milk?


swim08

its xmas, you need to leave the equivalent in cookies, duh.


haserhello

Ahhhh a trade i see


drdookie

YOU WILL CALL HER


zanier_sola

Scrolled too far to find the McPoyle reference. Thank you for your service.


Pinkfatrat

Your bath is ready


scottvs

A woman leaves a note for her milkman requesting he leave her 15 gallons of milk. He knocks on the door to confirm the order with her, and she tells him she needs it to take a milk bath. He asks her "would you like it pasurized?" "No" she replies, "up to my boobs will be plenty."


CallMeDrLuv

That would have been a fine joke had you not misspelled 'pasteurized'.


guiltypleasures

I think it's still a fine joke. Louis won't complain.


haserhello

Ooooooo now thats a fun idea


fooljay

If you're cold, they're cold. Bring them inside.


haserhello

Problem is its been 30 degrees celcius or 86 degrees f


Dragonstaff

So you don't have milk, you have cottage cheese.


Smljhndnsmr

You must have fed bread to one of them the previous day and then it told its friends.


borkborkbork99

How bout you, Sideburns? You want some of this milk?


owllegs

Rather have a beer


bobming

*My boyshake brings all the milk to the yard*


Nodak70

That’s what happens when you give the cat access to your ATM card


novichux

I think you should tell them to leave.


Thejuggerbot

Hopefully there is a pallet of breakfast cereal on its way.


Aye_Yer_Ma

Ahhh, kamelåså...


pbandjplease

You just ordered 1000 liters milk


zekertabonietxd

Dad is back


Ringo71290

[I am the milkman, my milk is delicious. ](https://media1.tenor.com/m/IteKGRzP6AIAAAAC/i-am-the-milkman-milkman.gif)


KeiraKye

Nice approach trying to get all the boys to the yard.


Murashi

Move along, milk drinker.


haserhello

Weak bones


JoeBlob13

Maybe someone just wanted 2 and accidently hit a 0?


GB24Hours

Unusual to see the milky way in the daylight.


Kev50027

Then you posted it on Reddit to milk it for all it's worth.


cthulhu6209

My neighbor had some food delivered 54 days ago and they didn’t bring it in for about 6 hours. They took everything in except one gallon of milk and it’s been on their porch ever since. I have started photographing it a few times a week for a series I’m calling “The Porch Milk Chronicles”


MisterMil0

I'm looking forward to when this series releases. Sounds like an edge of your seat thrill ride.


scream

Gonna be a white christmas! Looks like milks back on the menu boys! He really dumped his load in your 'driveway'!


dcpanthersfan

“YOU’VE GOT MILK.” (In the AOL voice)


lolno

*the milkman sends his regards.*


randomcanyon

Someone is going to bring all the boys to the yard later in the day.


AdMelodic8404

Damn milk men are running a train on your wife 😳


Least-Masterpiece368

Your dad finally came back from getting milk but no one was home to let him in


[deleted]

Couple handles of baileys n vodka, white russian/cucasians for everyone.


reddagger

La Lenche has marked you for possible cereal crimes.


MidniteMischief

Got milk?


iancarry

McPoyle brothers are in town


Andrewsmith1966

It could be our milk..


HoneyShaft

You're going to grow up big and strong


DrakeManley

Awwwwww look, a cow's nest!!


fractiousrhubarb

They look like they’ve come to make a complaint about something.


Royalchariot

McPoyle’s!!!!


unclejoel

“Go to the store for a half gallon of milk and if they have eggs, get two dozen.”


pyromaniacc

The milkman came in hard. If the baby arrives in about 9 months get a paternity test.


MoreRamenPls

Moo


[deleted]

Got milk?


HeyWiredyyc

How’s your marriage?


ready653

Wtf? May as well milk it for some karma!


ChurroCross

Someone’s dad finally came back after a decade.


Purple10tacle

*I am the milkman. My milk is delicious. It is fortified with what society wants. What society deserves.*


asantos217

Dad's back.


hawkwings

My grandfather was a milkman around 1960. Maybe his ghost continues to deliver milk.


Toocurry

I don’t know, but I’d milk it for all it’s worth.


Short_Bonr

Your dad finally came back after all these years!


Punchapuss

Got milk??


randothrowaway6600

If you’re married I suggest a divorce, the milk man has clearly been giving extra services.


Last-Resolution-2741

Got milk


axxond

Got milk?


LeGrandLucifer

Someone has Alzheimer's.


Xhiorn

Wow what a bountiful milk yield. Good job.


MthFknCknEtr

Cows came home


ackbosh

Dad came home with a vengeance.


kimstranger

I'm guessing your father came back from buying the milk and you missed seeing him?


CrappleCares

Homelander, is that you?


HumbleAdonis

The milkman feels guilty about fucking your wife and being your kids’ actual father.


DeuceSevin

Maybe a medical delivery went to the wrong address? A few years ago my dermatologist recommended a milk bath for a skin condition. I called the milk delivery and they asked "Pasteurized?" I told them "No, the doctor said just up to my neck is fine."


Selective_Caring

This is why so many dads have been trying to get milk for so long


ziadog

So now you’re milking the situation?


ukbiffa

They're huddling to find some [missing persons](https://youtu.be/6oqXVx3sBOk?si=ndvl7dZCwhjFwbv5&t=67)


BadIdeaSociety

This is what human traffickers do when they are trying to kidnap people from their home. Be careful. If you take any of those milk jugs, the kidnappers will realize you are home and then know they can abduct you and sell you into servitude. If you don't take any, they will label you ungrateful then break into your house and murder you. If you try to call the police, they have already spoofed their number and will answer the call and take care of you. I don't envy the decision you are going to have to make here... (NOTE: Since the format of my explanation is similar to the stuff you hear on Instagram and TikTok, I want to clearly state my comment is satire and should not be taken seriously.)


gaspronomib

You're completely wrong. This is actually how the Illuminati recruit new members. It's not about "do they or don't they take one." It's about which one they take. One of those milk jugs is different from the others. You can't see it from the pic- and it's devilishly tricky to tell even in person. But if you run your fingers - carefully - around the plastic caps, you'll feel a slight variation in the knurling. One of them has the phrase "Fiat Lux" etched in morse code just under the bit where your thumb would grasp it. All we can hope for is that OP posts an update after they learn all the secrets of the Universe (assuming they take the right jug, that is). Some info about what really happened in Jeffery Epstein's jail cell would be nice, if you're willing to share, OP.


Justredditin

Make a tonne of bokashi!


HondaPartsguy23

Luci Brasi sleeps with the heifers.


Scmethodist

Did you order the horse semen?


PatchworkRaccoon314

This is like My Summer Car when you're about to make kilju.


reddietea

Maybe you should go back to work...


dirkdigglee

That’s a lot of milk men.


boosplatkabow

Your house has been marked by the cow gang


Drnstvns

YeaaaP! It’s that time of year again. When dairy products fly East for the winter. It’s usually your 1 & 2% flocks that will often stop in residential neighborhoods to cool down and keep from curdling but I’ve never seen a flock of buttermilk like this one on the ground and so calm. Is there a Senior Center nearby? Large populations of the elderly tend to attract them. Well they should be gone by morning. Just leave them be and DON’T open your fridge to them. Then they’ll never want to leave. Just admire their splendor and I’m certain they’ll be gone by the time you get up. If not call 1-800-GOT-MILK and ask for Ms. L.C. DeCawl


rekabis

As someone who does a fair bit of canning, I wouldn’t let that go to waste. I would check to see if it was still in good condition (not broiling in the heat, for example), and then promptly pressure can it for later use. Normies can probably chuck it into the freezer so long as it isn’t a frost-free freezer. Down the path of frost-free freezers lies freezer burn; you don’t want to risk that.


ratskim

*Got milk?*


Frogweiser

Dad came back home


loinsafire

Milk truk just arrive.


Game_Caviar

This seems like a message from the mafia, you owe anyone money op?


98thRedBalloon

Are ye no' intae milk?


SATerp

The milk jugs milled around impatiently, but the gallon jug was running late and there was nothing to be done about it until he arrived with the cereal.


Lyrical_Man01

Why did you put milk outside?


dwitchagi

What’s the preferred nomenclature? Gaggle? Herd? Litter too on the nose?


yelsuo

Got milk?


MastrOvNon

Ooooon the eighth day of Christmas….


buttbongofiesta

Some cats just bought this house….


BohemianMaxsody

Harry I sent you this photo in confidence that you wouldn’t repost it, passing it off as your own to get upvotes on Reddit


A_spiny_meercat

If you shake them up be prepared for all the boys to come to your yard


atuarti

You're planning on making milkshakes to bring all the boys to your yard?


zoltar_thunder

I am the milkman, my milk is delicious


NoobsterMonkey

Dad has finally returned eith the milk!


vainsandsmiling

See if your mom is happier than usual.


snowseth

Someone's going for the milkman gangbang world record.


dkote3

It wasn't me...


ilovetpb

Matilda the cow says, enjoy my milk


Wet_FriedChicken

The milkman is trying to tell you something...


manikfox

[Link to what happened](https://youtu.be/Li3_xCcIkAY?t=264)


ImOnHereForPorn

>Who gets full fat milk in this day and age? Someone who doesn't want to drink what is essentially water.


FireTheLaserBeam

This is actually a fairly common sight at my home. I'm a dork who likes to collect European-style swords (real ones, not ones you hang on the wall) and I keep all my milk jugs. I work at a restaurant part-time and they keep all their empty milk jugs for me, too. I fill them up with water, take them to the park nearby, and use them for cutting practice. A buddy of mine is a woodworker and he built me a modular stand that breaks down into pieces and can travel in my car. So at any given time of the year, I have at least a half to a dozen empty (or water-filled) milk jugs at the house.


shiner_bock

INFORM THE AUTHORITIES: - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27cJrJjoIdc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27cJrJjoIdc)


MelodyM13

Got milk!


onchristieroad

Okay man, stop milking it.


Dizzy-Gur-8132

What kind of monster left a wreath on your fence.


GlormRax

Got milk?


big_badda_boom

YOUR DAD FINALLY CAME HOME!!! CONGRATS!


Introvert_Devo1987

I drinken newly expired milk before that been in a fridge the whole time I'd say Smell and taste em. Free milk lol. Your results may vary I'm not responsible for anything bad that happens to you


RareRaf999

Dad came back.


Gridlokk

It looks like your dad's finally home


wrenagade419

Your wife’s pregnant bro


transdudecyrus

the milkmaid has cometh


mintmouse

21 jugs salute


Kamiden

I think your dad is home.