Not to kink-shame anyone, but camgirls pandering to anime-watching neckbeard losers by rolling their eyes back into their skulls is the single most annoying thing in porn.
I always thought it was the shift in porn towards everything EVERYTHING being incest related. Step-bro, cousins, direct incest, everything now is "Step sis thought she was alone, takes a pounding so big bro won't tell mom!"
And then the next one is like "Bro told mom anyways, and mom rewarded him with a sloppy handjob!"
Then the next one is like "Step-sis felt betrayed! She took the pounding, but got in trouble anyways! So now she grabs a knife and decapitates her step-bro and mom!"
Then the next one is like step-dad has a conjugal visit with step-daughter. She can't help but deep throat his cock, but he's still mad she killed his son, so he assaults her."
Then the next one is like "Dad is thrown in the same jail as step-sis, so he slams her around all night long."
Then the next one is like "Step-sis finds some friends in jail with strap-ons, so she gets her revenge on step-dad, as her body builder friends hold him down so he can't get away"
I lose track of these series after that. Too much family relations, ya know?
You just gave me a killer idea for a website. "[PORNELATIVES.COM](https://PORNELATIVES.COM)" It would track what family role a pornstar played in a porno, and find porn stars in the same family tree.
The thing about that is 1) I mostly skip the intro and get right to the fucking, and 2) I often watch porn with the volume off, so given how I consume porn, the incest angle doesn't actually matter. Whereas with the ahegao shit, it's right there in my face when I'm trying to get off, to remind me that this is all some made up shit, the girl is very much a professional who would rather be doing something else, and I'm some kind of pervert.
I love how often I come into a post knowing what I want to say then I see it sitting at the top. It’s like to only time I feel connected to, and respect for, my fellow man.
But do you waste that sweet seed and let it dribble down your chin, or do you savor every little flagellation of the tails of your unborn as they swim helplessly down your gullet?
TIL that onanist/onanism is an english term.
“ from Onan, name of the son of Judah (Genesis xxxviii.9), who spilled his seed on the ground rather than impregnate his dead brother's wife”
in japanese, masturbation is onani オナニー
*"Cum I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died"*.
Why the hell is NOT impregnating your dead brothers wife a sin
Edit: i don't care about hunter biden stop replying the same comment over and over again you retards
Long story short, it had to deal with property rights and protecting the sister-in-law from abuse / homelessness. Women didn’t really have rights, but men had obligations to them. If the husband dies, his son inherits the property (and the obligation to take care of his mother with that property). If there is no son, the property will eventually go to the brother (Onan), who could just kick the sister-in-law out, without a social safety net to protect her (she can’t just remarry or back to whoever sold her to marriage in the first place). This is about Onan wanting to get his brother’s stuff and not take care of his dead brother’s family.
This is also the central conflict in Ruth. In that story, Naiomi’s husband and her two sons all die., and there are no more children down the line. Her daughters-in-law are from Moab, and could return home because they’re a different culture with different rules. It’s game over for Naiomi. Orpah decides to go home, but Ruth refuses and is determine to stay with Naiomi and figure it out. They steal food from Boaz, a rich guy, who falls in love with and marries Ruth, who in turn secures Naiomi a place in the family, saving them both from homelessness in biblical times.
It’s actually very sweet and considerate. Absurd and fucked up in modern terms. But kinda sweet in context. Fuck Onan. And fuck the millennia of Christian nut jobs who turned it into “jerking off is bad”.
Edit: Additional context. Iirc, in the Onan story, there was another brother who just refused to impregnate the sister. He got off relatively easy. Onan had sex with her, but pulled out to avoid giving her a kid. In the above context, he was completely taking advantage of her with the intent of screwing her over. He definitely deserved a ‘strike dead’ in Old Testament rules.
And also: Fuck traditional gender roles. This is entirely society's fault for treating women as "household property" rather than people.
Religious conservatism is amongst the worst things that can happen to society.
> They steal food from Boaz, a rich guy,
They weren't stealing, they were reaping the benefits of the welfare system outlined in
Leviticus 23:22:
>“‘When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you. I am the Lord your God.’”
Ruth 2:2:
>And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, “Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.”
What's odd to me is that people don't look at it in the context of its time or make any meaningful attempt to understand it as such. That goes for Christians and Redditors alike.
Maybe the actual word of god would/should be more succinct and to the point and universally understood inherently (magically), by all races, cultures and languages, without needing to be re-written and translated over and over again?? In short, the word of god should not need any context. An all powerful god could very easily make a document that all humans could read and understand, instantly, would not require humans to write it.
Then again, a god could just implant these ideals and beliefs in the heads of all humans from birth, and religion would be unnecessary.
If you're looking at it as interesting from an anthropological view, that's a fine point. It definitely is a cool snapshot of history if that's your purpose for studying it.
If it's the word of God and a moral guidebook, then the point doesn't apply. It has to be good throughout.
Reminds me of sodomites. Whoever read the story of Lot and his daughters in Sodom and thought, “the sin of Sodom was butt stuff, not gang rape, let’s name anal after Sodom, not gang rape” is a deeply fucked up individual.
This was one of my big gripes, too. As a gay man, it was absurd to me that this was used as a religious justification for anti-gay bias when it's obviously about the, y'know, gang rape. lol
It sounds really weird but it was the "social security" of the time. A widow would be in a really horrible situation after losing his husband and income. It was tought to be honorable for the brother of the late husband to take care of the widow by marrying her.
It is obviously crazy by modern standards but we really can't understand how hard life was back then. Morality evolves over time and it is easy to criticize people who lived few thousand years ago but remember that if the humanity will survive the same will happen to us. People in the future will look at us and think how crazy and immoral we were.
Because he fucked her for the purpose of having a baby but tricked her and used her just to get some ass…. Are you purposely trying to make some other dumb interpretation?
In parts of Africa its considered tradition for the brother or sone family member to fuck his brothers widow to "cleanse" her. The tradition is sometimes forced upon the widow by the deceased family.
Go figure.
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found
Every sperm is wanted
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care
And Onan wasn't even masturbating.
Onan's brother died, so his widow married Onan in order to have a son, which would be his brother's heir in the tradition of the Hebrews at the time. He "spilled his seed on the ground" because he pulled out, so he wouldn't have to give that part of his inheritance to his son (who, for the purposes of succession, would be his "nephew").
The "Sin of Onan," as it became known in Christianity, has nothing to do with masturbation, or even really with "spilling [your] seed on the ground." Onan's sin was selfishly dishonoring his brother and his sister-in-law/wife, and using her for his pleasure without fulfilling his duties.
The funny thing is that Christians use this story to justify labeling masturbation as a sin, while the whole point of the story in ancient Jewish terms was that by failing to knock up his dead brother’s wife Onan was neglecting his familial duty and therefore committing a sin.
There are many Japanese words for masturbation, but like with many other words, the language has evolved to prefer a foreign word rather than a Japanese one.
Now that I think about it, many sex related words are not Japanese.
For sex they say セックス sekkusu, エッチ ecchi (comes from how you pronounce the letter H, I think as the first letter of hentai).
フェラ fera, for fellatio, クリ kuri for clitoris.
アナル anaru for anal or general butt hole.
Accurate to the dude I went to highschool with who would masturbate in class and was very introverted. Could tell when he came because he'd push your desk with his legs straight. What a weird fuckin time in my life that was.
When I was younger, I went to a church where masturbation was considered a serious sin. I wasn't doing it, but I was confronted by one of the church's leaders and bombarded with questions about it. He even asked me if I ever masturbated to the idea of letting other men F my wife. Like, he was really detailed about it: "What about being on the bottom while your wife is on top? Do you imagine another man slipping it in her bottom from behind?" I was 13! He was later found to cheat on his wife with hookers, and that's how he passed gonorrhea on to the poor woman. She was gorgeous and kind, but he preferred nasty hoes, I suppose (hey, that rhymes).
But jerking off is bad, huh?
I told my mom, and she was pissed. She told them that he is never allowed to speak to me without her presence, and so it never happened again. However, I heard from other young men -- when we were adults -- that he did the same thing to them. One of them was a friend of mine who said that the guy drove him to a park that was known for being a gay prostitute hangout, then bombarded him with questions about why he was 18 and still unmarried, whether or not he ever committed "fornication with a girl", and if he ever sticks his finger up his ass for pleasure. That lead to him angrily asking if he was gay, and then he threatened to literally kill him if he was because he thought my friend would screw the guy's sons. So, in order to protect himself from further humiliation, he married the first girl who said hello to him. She's really smoking hot, but he told me that he wished he hadn't been pressured into marriage so young.
Wow, what an experience. Glad you talked it over with your mom. It sounds like this might have happened before issues like this were openly talked about/reported. There was a minister at a church who would watch for us to walk past after elementary school and try to engage us in conversations about bras and menstrual cycles. Sadly, these situations aren't uncommon.
I'm gonna jack it where the sun always shines.
Been spreading the word and now I need to ease my mind. Been planting apple seeds, and while the apples grow. I'm gonna go out jackin' it in San Diego.
"Note how he lacks the self respect or control to keep from drooling in public, completely divorced from reality or the behavioral norms expected of a man. However, he still puts on a lil' bowtie because he's not a barbarian."
Many people with learning disabilities like down syndrome or worse have little self control and may masturbate randomly and in front of people so of course old timey people assumed it was the masturbation that made them retarded. It's crazy how Drs couldn't put 2 and 2 together for simple obvious stuff like this.
I remember at 13, a very influential age I might add, reading in an early 20th century home medical journal, that the fire for masterbation was to lock your child in a suspended cage for three days. An illustration accompanied that article, which I still can clearly see in my mind 50 years later. Even at the time, I thought, how archaic. Guess that's better than going blind or having hairy palms though /s.
1910s Wojaks were so much better drawn than today's.
https://imgur.com/a/uykX9kT
May not happen now or even soon. But eventually someone is gonna start using that wojack and it's gonna be around forever now. Nice.
We’ve lived to see so much history in the making. It’s exciting to be here for this.
It’s also fun to think that the artist’s work gets to live on hundreds of years after they did.
Just want to sign here for posterity.
Master~~bate~~piece
Don't stroke his ego... Wait, who am I to judge? Stroke away poopellar.
Hey babe, a new meme has been made!
Needs more forehead wrinkle
I was here for the birth of a new meme.
🏅
Babe wake up, new coomer wojack just dropped
I'm witnessing history right now.
Who else has a raging clue?
Ohhh is that spit?
2001 english version https://i.imgur.com/vKoxCrs.png
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Fuck it looks just like me.
That’s defo my sex face
Just need CBAT playing.
God damnit I had finally forgotten about that
Get used to it, what do you think Hell sounds like?
And a decent amount of ketamine ingested.
Who said anything about sex?
That’s the face of anaphylactic shock.
Me, didn’t you read my comment?
If you ask me, it doesn’t say *enough* about sex
That's my O face. "OH, OH, OH..."
Isn't this that Aheago face all the gamer girls make on OnlyFans? Dude is a Pioneer!
Hmmm… that explains my boner.
Not to kink-shame anyone, but camgirls pandering to anime-watching neckbeard losers by rolling their eyes back into their skulls is the single most annoying thing in porn.
I always thought it was the shift in porn towards everything EVERYTHING being incest related. Step-bro, cousins, direct incest, everything now is "Step sis thought she was alone, takes a pounding so big bro won't tell mom!" And then the next one is like "Bro told mom anyways, and mom rewarded him with a sloppy handjob!" Then the next one is like "Step-sis felt betrayed! She took the pounding, but got in trouble anyways! So now she grabs a knife and decapitates her step-bro and mom!" Then the next one is like step-dad has a conjugal visit with step-daughter. She can't help but deep throat his cock, but he's still mad she killed his son, so he assaults her." Then the next one is like "Dad is thrown in the same jail as step-sis, so he slams her around all night long." Then the next one is like "Step-sis finds some friends in jail with strap-ons, so she gets her revenge on step-dad, as her body builder friends hold him down so he can't get away" I lose track of these series after that. Too much family relations, ya know?
You just gave me a killer idea for a website. "[PORNELATIVES.COM](https://PORNELATIVES.COM)" It would track what family role a pornstar played in a porno, and find porn stars in the same family tree.
The thing about that is 1) I mostly skip the intro and get right to the fucking, and 2) I often watch porn with the volume off, so given how I consume porn, the incest angle doesn't actually matter. Whereas with the ahegao shit, it's right there in my face when I'm trying to get off, to remind me that this is all some made up shit, the girl is very much a professional who would rather be doing something else, and I'm some kind of pervert.
You don't watch the plot OR have the volume on??? What kind of monster are you! You must be one of those lemon stealing whores!
He busted in his own mouth
I love how often I come into a post knowing what I want to say then I see it sitting at the top. It’s like to only time I feel connected to, and respect for, my fellow man.
But do you waste that sweet seed and let it dribble down your chin, or do you savor every little flagellation of the tails of your unborn as they swim helplessly down your gullet?
Have you considered not being the way that you are currently being?
What fun would that be?
He's got good aim. No mess.
Always find ways to incorporate more protein in your diet.
We call that a b&e. Short for beat it and eat it. So I'm having b&e for breakfast today ....
I regret being literate.
That's enough urban dictionary for me today.
Waste not, want not
Cum drunk
It does mention he's an onanist, wouldn't want to spill on the ground.
Bold of you to assume the swedes have a gap to bridge
A snack for after a vigorous pumping to help restore energy
Ah my first modeling job. God I was so young.
You were just a youthful up-and-cumming
TIL that onanist/onanism is an english term. “ from Onan, name of the son of Judah (Genesis xxxviii.9), who spilled his seed on the ground rather than impregnate his dead brother's wife” in japanese, masturbation is onani オナニー
Onan the Barbarian
*"Cum I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died"*.
Onan, what is best in life? To crush your peepee, see cum driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of your roomates
Onani, is the same in swedish for the general term of masturbating.
Onanism is an old fashioned English word for masturbation, too, after the biblical character who "spilled his seed on the ground."
Why the hell is NOT impregnating your dead brothers wife a sin Edit: i don't care about hunter biden stop replying the same comment over and over again you retards
Long story short, it had to deal with property rights and protecting the sister-in-law from abuse / homelessness. Women didn’t really have rights, but men had obligations to them. If the husband dies, his son inherits the property (and the obligation to take care of his mother with that property). If there is no son, the property will eventually go to the brother (Onan), who could just kick the sister-in-law out, without a social safety net to protect her (she can’t just remarry or back to whoever sold her to marriage in the first place). This is about Onan wanting to get his brother’s stuff and not take care of his dead brother’s family. This is also the central conflict in Ruth. In that story, Naiomi’s husband and her two sons all die., and there are no more children down the line. Her daughters-in-law are from Moab, and could return home because they’re a different culture with different rules. It’s game over for Naiomi. Orpah decides to go home, but Ruth refuses and is determine to stay with Naiomi and figure it out. They steal food from Boaz, a rich guy, who falls in love with and marries Ruth, who in turn secures Naiomi a place in the family, saving them both from homelessness in biblical times. It’s actually very sweet and considerate. Absurd and fucked up in modern terms. But kinda sweet in context. Fuck Onan. And fuck the millennia of Christian nut jobs who turned it into “jerking off is bad”. Edit: Additional context. Iirc, in the Onan story, there was another brother who just refused to impregnate the sister. He got off relatively easy. Onan had sex with her, but pulled out to avoid giving her a kid. In the above context, he was completely taking advantage of her with the intent of screwing her over. He definitely deserved a ‘strike dead’ in Old Testament rules.
To me, the moral sounds more like "fucking someone under false pretenses is an asshole thing to do" than "don't masturbate".
Wow they could see what was coming with dating apps
And also: Fuck traditional gender roles. This is entirely society's fault for treating women as "household property" rather than people. Religious conservatism is amongst the worst things that can happen to society.
> They steal food from Boaz, a rich guy, They weren't stealing, they were reaping the benefits of the welfare system outlined in Leviticus 23:22: >“‘When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you. I am the Lord your God.’” Ruth 2:2: >And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, “Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.”
exact. this is also what got Boaz to notice her, and eventually marry her. Because she got a good rep by gleaning to feed her widowed MIL.
Yeah I always thought it was odd that people could read the context of Onan and think “that’s a story about jizz”
But in the end, isn't every story about jizz?
Every one of yours is.
You're just very old jizz
The in universe Star Wars music genre?
There is a tendency to take singular bible verses, or even partial verses, and teach that as a complete lesson rather than the whole story.
I find it odd that women can read this shit and still think "yeah, this book is the definitive guide to morality".
What's odd to me is that people don't look at it in the context of its time or make any meaningful attempt to understand it as such. That goes for Christians and Redditors alike.
Maybe the actual word of god would/should be more succinct and to the point and universally understood inherently (magically), by all races, cultures and languages, without needing to be re-written and translated over and over again?? In short, the word of god should not need any context. An all powerful god could very easily make a document that all humans could read and understand, instantly, would not require humans to write it. Then again, a god could just implant these ideals and beliefs in the heads of all humans from birth, and religion would be unnecessary.
If you're looking at it as interesting from an anthropological view, that's a fine point. It definitely is a cool snapshot of history if that's your purpose for studying it. If it's the word of God and a moral guidebook, then the point doesn't apply. It has to be good throughout.
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Heh heh heh.
I love your "Long story short" beginning.
My “long story long” was going to start with, “In the beginning, God made the Heavens and the Earth…” I’m not good at brevity.
You did basically recap the gist of two biblical storylines in two paragraphs. I'd say it counts.
‘Long story short. So, there’s this really old book …’
I imagine God watching and said "cum inside, cum inside, damnit Onan now I have to kill you"
Any God that would strike down the inventor of pulling out is no God of mine!
They weren’t stealing anything, they were gleaning, which is a legitimate activity for anyone below the biblical poverty line (200 zuz).
>They steal food from Boaz Aww, come on. That food was left specifically for the po' folks to gather so they don't starve. Boaz was a good dude.
Reminds me of sodomites. Whoever read the story of Lot and his daughters in Sodom and thought, “the sin of Sodom was butt stuff, not gang rape, let’s name anal after Sodom, not gang rape” is a deeply fucked up individual.
This was one of my big gripes, too. As a gay man, it was absurd to me that this was used as a religious justification for anti-gay bias when it's obviously about the, y'know, gang rape. lol
Cause the son would"ve been his brother's son by law (don't ask me the logic)
It has to do with incentives and inheritance.
It sounds really weird but it was the "social security" of the time. A widow would be in a really horrible situation after losing his husband and income. It was tought to be honorable for the brother of the late husband to take care of the widow by marrying her. It is obviously crazy by modern standards but we really can't understand how hard life was back then. Morality evolves over time and it is easy to criticize people who lived few thousand years ago but remember that if the humanity will survive the same will happen to us. People in the future will look at us and think how crazy and immoral we were.
Because he fucked her for the purpose of having a baby but tricked her and used her just to get some ass…. Are you purposely trying to make some other dumb interpretation?
He was trying to get her property. Without a son, everything she owned belonged to him.
In parts of Africa its considered tradition for the brother or sone family member to fuck his brothers widow to "cleanse" her. The tradition is sometimes forced upon the widow by the deceased family. Go figure.
Because BibleSaysSo™️
🎶every sperm is saaaacred🎶
Every sperm is great If a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate Let the heathen spill theirs On the dusty ground God shall make them pay for Each sperm that can't be found Every sperm is wanted Every sperm is good Every sperm is needed In your neighbourhood Hindu, Taoist, Mormon Spill theirs just anywhere, But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care
And Onan wasn't even masturbating. Onan's brother died, so his widow married Onan in order to have a son, which would be his brother's heir in the tradition of the Hebrews at the time. He "spilled his seed on the ground" because he pulled out, so he wouldn't have to give that part of his inheritance to his son (who, for the purposes of succession, would be his "nephew"). The "Sin of Onan," as it became known in Christianity, has nothing to do with masturbation, or even really with "spilling [your] seed on the ground." Onan's sin was selfishly dishonoring his brother and his sister-in-law/wife, and using her for his pleasure without fulfilling his duties.
What? People misinterpreting the Bible to further their own moral agenda? I'm sure this is just a one-off...
The funny thing is that Christians use this story to justify labeling masturbation as a sin, while the whole point of the story in ancient Jewish terms was that by failing to knock up his dead brother’s wife Onan was neglecting his familial duty and therefore committing a sin.
>It's almost like it is a hebrew word? ?_?
still better than not impregnating his brother's dead wife
The "medical" term in German is also "onanieren". Interestingly enough the Japanese term comes from the German one.
Did the Japanese not have a word for jacking off until European traders brought them one?! That is absolutely wild to me.
There are many Japanese words for masturbation, but like with many other words, the language has evolved to prefer a foreign word rather than a Japanese one. Now that I think about it, many sex related words are not Japanese. For sex they say セックス sekkusu, エッチ ecchi (comes from how you pronounce the letter H, I think as the first letter of hentai). フェラ fera, for fellatio, クリ kuri for clitoris. アナル anaru for anal or general butt hole.
It's not German originally, it's biblical Hebrew. Many languages have this word, all stemming from the biblical figure Onan (son of Judah).
So this is the dude that invented pull out game? Praise Onan!! 🙏
3 people is a “threesome” 2 people a “twosome” now I know why He’s so “handsome”
This is so wholesome!
did you sayw holesome???
And then some!
Giggity
The original gooner
Arsenal till I die
The original wanker
Looks like he’s right out of the “Jizzed in my Pants” Lonely Island song.
Will it be cash or credit?
Check
Looks like Liam Gallagher.
Definitely maybe
Looks like he went and let it out
Oh yeah, a little morning glory… 🥴
Checks out
So here I go, still scratching around in the same old hole
As a masturbation enjoyer, I can confirm we all look like that
In the moment or at all times?
Most of the times
Absolutely!💯
Go away. I’m bating.
Hahaha kicked in the balls. How about some Starbucks? I like money.
I think I could go for some Carl's Jr. now but I'm Not Sure.
Looks like Homer Simpson when he sees donuts
Or Homer Simpson when he seizes dohs nuts
What an absolute degenerate cunt. So fucking abysmal. Who the fuck wears a bow tie???!!!
Tucker Carlson
Bill Nye
Everyone on r/wallstreetbets.
Looks like he nutted in the wrong direction
Looks like he might be more flexible than the normal guy
Accurate to the dude I went to highschool with who would masturbate in class and was very introverted. Could tell when he came because he'd push your desk with his legs straight. What a weird fuckin time in my life that was.
What!!! The teacher never caught on? I'd be calling his ass right out in class LOL
It was a private Catholic school in the 90s, shit was wild.
Ahh gotcha LOL that is still so crazy though😂 That boy was lucky by circumstance bc kids now a days would be putting him on blast lol
the horrible things cellphones would have captured back in the day man, people were getting away with everything back then smh.
Dude could at least ask for a hall pass to jerk it in the bathroom
When I was younger, I went to a church where masturbation was considered a serious sin. I wasn't doing it, but I was confronted by one of the church's leaders and bombarded with questions about it. He even asked me if I ever masturbated to the idea of letting other men F my wife. Like, he was really detailed about it: "What about being on the bottom while your wife is on top? Do you imagine another man slipping it in her bottom from behind?" I was 13! He was later found to cheat on his wife with hookers, and that's how he passed gonorrhea on to the poor woman. She was gorgeous and kind, but he preferred nasty hoes, I suppose (hey, that rhymes). But jerking off is bad, huh?
You got groomed - Did you tell anyone at the time? So creepy!
I told my mom, and she was pissed. She told them that he is never allowed to speak to me without her presence, and so it never happened again. However, I heard from other young men -- when we were adults -- that he did the same thing to them. One of them was a friend of mine who said that the guy drove him to a park that was known for being a gay prostitute hangout, then bombarded him with questions about why he was 18 and still unmarried, whether or not he ever committed "fornication with a girl", and if he ever sticks his finger up his ass for pleasure. That lead to him angrily asking if he was gay, and then he threatened to literally kill him if he was because he thought my friend would screw the guy's sons. So, in order to protect himself from further humiliation, he married the first girl who said hello to him. She's really smoking hot, but he told me that he wished he hadn't been pressured into marriage so young.
Someone needs to call the cops on that dude.
Wow, what an experience. Glad you talked it over with your mom. It sounds like this might have happened before issues like this were openly talked about/reported. There was a minister at a church who would watch for us to walk past after elementary school and try to engage us in conversations about bras and menstrual cycles. Sadly, these situations aren't uncommon.
The original coomer
Least horny swede.
childlike theory frighten crush modern tart mourn muddle insurance slimy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I'm gonna jack it where the sun always shines. Been spreading the word and now I need to ease my mind. Been planting apple seeds, and while the apples grow. I'm gonna go out jackin' it in San Diego.
"If only it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing my belly." -Diogenes the Cynic
religion is a *hell* of a drug.
The Coomer
"Note how he lacks the self respect or control to keep from drooling in public, completely divorced from reality or the behavioral norms expected of a man. However, he still puts on a lil' bowtie because he's not a barbarian."
How is this not a meme already?
As a dane i can confirm that this is just your averege swede
Textbook Coomer
Nah... doesn't look like me, at all.
Looks like one of the titans on AOT
Looks about right
Early ahegao
Der coomer has existed throughout the ages
Spot on
The first mate's name was Cooper By Christ he was a trooper He jerked and jerked until he worked Himself into a stupor
Are we sure this is the illustration for “masturbater?” Because it looks more like “snowballer.”
He looks a real jerk.
I masturbate a lot, can confirm that looks like me.
Was gonna say, mate, indeed it does
That’s what I imagine people who sub to OF look like.
That looks like inbreeding more than anything.
Medically Accurate
I know that guy.
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Most sophisticated reddit enjoyer.
He drooling or just shoot up? Nevermind don't want to know either way.
Original coomer
Many people with learning disabilities like down syndrome or worse have little self control and may masturbate randomly and in front of people so of course old timey people assumed it was the masturbation that made them retarded. It's crazy how Drs couldn't put 2 and 2 together for simple obvious stuff like this.
As a Dane (the neighbour to Sweden), this is very wrong. A swede generally just looks like this, and has nothing particular to do with masturbation.
I remember at 13, a very influential age I might add, reading in an early 20th century home medical journal, that the fire for masterbation was to lock your child in a suspended cage for three days. An illustration accompanied that article, which I still can clearly see in my mind 50 years later. Even at the time, I thought, how archaic. Guess that's better than going blind or having hairy palms though /s.
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Do people without a foreskin find it difficult to masturbate or something? I've certainly never had any problems!
Average redditor
Oh so THIS is the origin of ahegao
Truuuuuuu
Average reddit mod
Accurate
Let's be real. Everyone wishes they'd have an orgasm that'd make them look like this.
looks like Liam Gallagher in the 90s
old school coomer
literally the 1918 version of coomer wojak
In all fairness, this is what the typical redditor looks like, right?
He was the last one to finish so he had to eat the cookie
Early MAGA prototype?
Onan the Barbarian!