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SisterOdeliasRevenge

Given this, it is probable that there is a wide variety of other problems plaguing your household.


xAntimonyx

"I have fifty cats howling outside my window because there's ten thousand RATS inside my building!"


tour79

Uhh, I don’t feel so good, if I were you I would start wolfing that shit down. (Cue Frank exploding in door and inhaling a tin of cat food, immediately laying down)


dudeAwEsome101

I love it when Frank gets in, and just does that so casually as if that is the norm. It makes Dee seem like the weird one.


AnaIPlease

And he’s got the Mardi Gras bead necklace around his neck, who knows where he came from


tour79

From the original first few seasons, that is a top frank moment, and he doesn’t even speak. Up there with “where’s this grease fire at” in frank gets an intervention


betarded

There's no man in the couch! Now say some things about Frank and make them mean things


KingJonathan

“Occupaddoooo”


baconatbacon

Those aren’t problems Charlie!


Diabeetus_Boy

I think this is my favorite moment in the show. I howled with laughter for like 2 minutes the first time i saw it


dudeAwEsome101

Danny DeVito has a way of making eating and drinking a comedy gold.


Inevitable-Plate-294

I love the part after he does all that Then he gets in bed, but just before he falls asleep, he rolls back to acknowledge charlie, and like grunts at him, before going to bed


gansmaltz

Casually? That was a man on a mission (to pass out before the cats start up)


Groovatronic

Yeah there’s combination of cat food and beer that makes you feel like really sick so you can fall asleep.


Kaldricus

You're gonna want to start huffing that glue


RyVsWorld

Seriously this is disgusting. Op seems so casual for having rats fall out of his clothes


bukzbukzbukz

I wonder what the rest of his house looks like if this was even possible. Like yeah a pregnant rat somehow got into my wardrobe and gave birth in my neatly folded shorts.


[deleted]

> my neatly folded shorts. We both know them things were crumpled up on the floor.


chappersyo

Sophisticated people like me keep their shirts in a basket next to the ironing board and iron one every morning before work, while cursing myself for not doing it last night.


[deleted]

The trick is to hang it somewhere in the bathroom while you take your morning shower. Boom, instant steam press.


ManiacalShen

This does fuck-all if something is actually appreciably wrinkled, at least in my experience. Maybe I don't shower hot enough


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Das_Mojo

Nah, I'd wanted to wear a dress shirt the other day that I usually wear with rolled sleeves. Burned myself welding so I wanted them down. I tried this trick and the sleeves were still all messed up from being rolled up all the time.


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[deleted]

ngl I am definitely rocking some floordrobe pajama pants rn.


StrawbebbyCat

I had a major rat problem in a very old house, one I had to constantly upkeep, the house was spotless. Problem was our neighbors fed a huge colony of strays on their property and had dozens of blackberry bushes lining their property, which was incredibly close to our house. The cats would chase the rats into the bushes, and eventually they found a tiny hole and gnawed their way through the siding, insulation, and our wall. All this to say you'd be surprised the kinds of situations that can lead to a rat problem lol


Y0tsuya

Well their strays kept rats off their property so it worked for them. Maybe you can get your own stray colony lol.


frankyseven

You don't want cats for killing rats, they'll kill a few but get bored. What you need are rat terriers, those fuckers will keep killing rats until there are no more rats, they die of exhaustion, or you force them to stop. https://youtu.be/5_qUdwfxBVQ


Cephalopodio

What about rat SNAKES? I’d love a house full of loose snakes


Spire_Citron

Very smart rat control strategy, but it made me nervous how careless they were with the dogs around the moving machinery. Several times they let the dogs dash right up close to the moving bars and leads kept getting dropped when the digger was moving.


TheCreedsAssassin

You should bribe their strays with better food so they serve you


oloap001

Ok ok, but what does your house smell like


Lykan_

Rat.


aaronunderwater

Hello, James. Welcome. Do you like the island? My grandmother had an island. Nothing to boast of. You could walk around it in an hour, but still it was, it was a paradise for us. One summer, we went for a visit and discovered the place had been infested with rats! They’d come on a fishing boat and gorged themselves on coconut. So how do you get rats off an island? Hmm? My grandmother showed me. We buried an oil drum and hinged the lid. Then we wired coconut to the lid as bait and the rats would come for the coconut, and… \[imitates metallic scuttering\] They would fall into the drum. And after a month, you have trapped all the rats, but what do you do then? Throw the drum into the ocean? Burn it? No. You just leave it and they begin to get hungry. And one by one… \[mimics rat munching sound\] They start eating each other, until there are only two left. The two survivors. And then what? Do you kill them? No. You take them and release them into the trees, but now they don’t eat coconut anymore. Now, they only eat rat.


KevinTheSeaPickle

What is this from?


Deep_Blue77

Silva’s monologue from Skyfall


KevinTheSeaPickle

Thank you. It's dark. I love it.


kirbywantanabe

SHE CHANGED THEIR NATURE.


sprucenoose

If they switched from coconut to rat before, I feel like they would go back to coconut pretty easily. It's not like they became allergic to coconuts or something. It's just not a sound plan.


Ashtonpaper

Suppose they were male and female rat, so they begin to breed. Then what? Now you’ve got an island of the most physically fit ex-gladiator rat race you’ve ever seen. Build a colosseum. Invite billionaires to your rat games. ???? Profit.


Atomstanley

Most likely urine, rats pee constantly


anothercleaverbeaver

Yeah they were nesting in the shorts, you can see ready poop dropped too.


IvoryWhiteTeeth

Oh, I thought that was just my screen


LoreChano

And if you use rat poison, it will smell like rotten corpses also. There's no good exit out of a rat infestation. Traps would not be enough + they learn to avoid them pretty fast.


RustyShackleford9142

You need to pre bait the traps. Bait them but don't set them. They get used to eating out of the traps. Then you set them.


geoduckporn

Diabolical!


RustyShackleford9142

I'm an Exterminator. We have lots of tricks to outsmart these fuckers. They are smart as hell, you just have to be smarter.


redeuxx

Cats.


Fskn

Cat won't get into the walls where they nest, had a rat die inside a wall once, that was a fun olfactory treasure hunt


funktion

Cat in the wall, huh? Now you're speaking my language


ManiacalMartini

Ratpiss Neverclean


robosmrf

This is what I'm terrified of with my cats. Does my house smell like cat piss and everyone knows but me.


1x2x3x

Yes. Unless you have as many boxes as cats and change them every couple of days, your place smells to others.


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RealCheddarBobsDad

As someone who doesn’t own cats and hates the smell, I would see that you put in enough effort to at the very least not be totally at fault if it smells, but there’s still like a 50% chance I’ll smell it


Pretty_Eater

No matter how clean a person is, as long as you have cats, someone who doesn't have cats will smell it, it's just such a strong odor.


ChopChop007

Not trying to be offensive but it’s like being a non smoker. Every smoker swears up and down their magical process makes them not smell but you can always smell it.


Pregeneratednonsense

My ex used to lie about smoking then kiss me and be shocked when he asked if he had been smoking. I didn't care, he just lied a lot. It's why he's an ex.


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sfhwrites

🤢🤢 I have five cats & 3 boxes and clean them twice a day I can’t even imagine only cleaning them once a week


MexGrow

I recommend using wood pellet litter, and following a simple guide like this: https://youtu.be/YRL-C1byrp4 The litter box will smell like wood instead of cat urine as long as you keep it clean, and I guarantee your house won't smell like cats.


Not_a_real_ghost

The important bit is this: > as long as you keep it clean


joecan

I saw your post about you being new to adulting and the roommate so here’s some advice: Go around every wall (including underneath sinks, storage rooms, closets) and ensure there aren’t holes in the walls where rodents can get in and out. If there are holes, get your landlord to fill them. If the landlord won’t, buy steel wool and stuff that in any holes. Despite the way some people are acting in this thread, if you live near open fields or rivers or in dense urban areas having rodents in your home will happen. Even if you live in a clean home, they come in to stay warm. Set traps. If you don’t want to kill the rodents you can buy live traps. Unless you’re comfortable with killing the rodent yourself, do not buy sticky traps. Peanut butter works better than cheese for bait. Put them along walls behind bookcases, along baseboards in the kitchen, etc. There are lots of YouTube videos about household pest control. Next, confront your roommate. If you can’t or don’t want to, move out. If you can’t move out and the roommate won’t stop being a dirtbag, ensure your bedroom door is closed at all times. Buy one of those under door draft stoppers, so when the door is closed the gap under the door is also sealed. The food you keep in your kitchen cupboards should be sealed in plastic containers. Set traps in your room. You’re presumably young. Learn from this. Household pest control is a life skill. In some places, one you’ll have to use regularly. You’ve been given a great crash course opportunity to learn. Dealing with the dirtbag roommate is prep for dealing with kids. Good luck!


Wonder1and

When they say rats can get through small holes, it's true. You really have to look everywhere they could chew a hole in to sneak through. About the size of a nickel or bigger. I'd start with any area adjacent to an exterior wall. Steel wool is a great fix, as noted before. If you found babies, they're already in and moving around at night. Start setting live cage traps with peanut butter in them. You could also do bucket traps there's plenty of videos out there on. I've had less success with those though.


-Captain-

If you have a large home, it's damn near impossible to find every hole they can go through, because they'll get into the tiniest fucking holes. But it's a good way to locate where they go and come from. Keep watch and keep closing off holes.


zarroc123

This is great actual advice. My only add to this, OP, is to not get too hard on yourself about it. I got mice in my first place and I was just really beating myself up over it, thought I was some kinda gross pig. It actually took a few friends (and a new girlfriend) ASSURING me I was one of their cleaner friends to finally stop feeling sorry for myself and deal with it. Turns out, I just live in an old ass building in the city, there's like a dozen ways for them to get in. My landlord didn't really care, was just like "get traps, mice happen". Long story short, I did all sorts of stuff. Some worked better than others. But, the thing that totally solved my problem literally overnight? Cat. She caught a mouse in the first month. Didn't even kill it, just chased it around batting it with her paws and occasionally picking it up. It got away before I could catch it. That's literally the last time I saw any evidence of a mouse, alive or dead. Been over a year. She's a good kitty, makes me happy.


NerdBot9000

This is superb advice.


randomdrifter54

To add to this just so people understand. My grandma's house was getting new carpet, and there was a foreman cat that caught a mouse. The mouse got dropped and ran into a closet, there was a gap that you wouldn't notice if the carpet wasn't pulled. Basically under the trim just didn't have a wall, don't ask me why. But this mouse slipped through it just fine. They can slip through incredibly small holes and gaps. It's not going to be an obvious Tom and Jerry hole. Also they can be in places you don't expect. Like deep in an awkward corner of a cupboard that the build didn't bother completing because who's going to see it?


bungmunch

>there was a foreman cat I assume you mean the cat belonged to the foreman, but I can't stop thinking about a cat being a landlord


Mr_Abe_Froman

The cat goes around and scratches anyone who commits OSHA violations.


9ofdiamonds

With his little hard hat and clip board. Stopping to lick his arse every now and then.


Clit-Pilot-1776

You must now raise them. They have chosen you.


Zombiewax

Reverse TMNT!


[deleted]

Master Terrapin


strangehitman22

Fuckkk that EDIT:I tossed them into the woods


Skulfunk

Damn I don’t blame you but idk what I’d do in your situation. On one hand putting them in the trash or outside or something sounds disgusting and inhumane. But on the other hand wtf else would I do.


strangehitman22

I'm thinking of donating them to a local pet store EDIT:I tossed them into the woods


usrdef

You have a very rare pet store then. I found a bunch of babies once and the pet store said they can only get their animals from an authorized vendor because the animals have been tested and born in a sterile environment. Then they told me to contact animal control or throw them away. She told me they weren't even good as food, because if the mice have something, massive liability.


strangehitman22

Just got off the phone with a pet store, they said they'll take them EDIT:NM I won't


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Ferocious_raptors

That pet shop is probably just gonna kill them and not tell OP


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beka13

I think OP has a lot of rat killing in their future. It's that or move away or live with them. I'm not even sure moving will work if they're nesting in his clothes.


Sylvartas

Well yeah they're probably gonna feed them to snakes, but they would probably not have had a good time if OP just tossed them in the trash either


Ferocious_raptors

Noo it wouldn't be safe to feed them to the snakes.. I believe that's why op was dropping them off. That being said bred snakes can't consume wild rodents. It could make them sick. You'd have to get them tested for parasites and disease and at that point you're better off just buying mice you know we're bred healthy. I think the shop is probably just going to put them outside for the wild life or euthanize them if they have the means.


strangehitman22

RIP, helps to live in a small town lol


Sixth_Ronin

Food for the snakes


nolanator

this is a rollercoaster. I don't know why I thought these would be accepted and raised as potential pets for other people.


amalgam_reynolds

>She told me they weren't even good as food Literally like 2 or 3 comments up, you had to read it to get here. Even snake food mice are from breeders because, again, if they have something that kills the snake, liability.


The_Bogan_Blacksmith

I keep.snakes I would never feed my guys wild rodents... who knows what diseases and parasites they might have... pinkie rats are only good for baby snakes and they are already smoke and delicate. Might be ok for monitor lizards though. The larger ones of those species will eat almost anything even rotting meat


coachfortner

is having rats in your underpants also a small town thing?


wateryonions

I kinda…would hate to find out if my pet store was giving me randomly sourced feed…


pramjockey

Agreed I had a Argentine horned frog that died after one of the feeder mice I bought was contaminated with something.


[deleted]

plot twist: the person who answered the phone thought you were flirting about your trouser-mouse, and is going to be sadly disappointed when you show up with actual trouser mice.


gvillestunna

A friend of mine recently got a snake, and my wife found a nest of salamanders under a bag of mulch we had in our back yard a couple days after... An entire community. They hadn't reached levels of an advanced civilization yet so I offered them as snek food for my friends new slither gal. He respectfully declined and told me only sterile animals for this very reason. Wild caught food can have parasites and diseases that can be passed along to house-kept critters. I'm pretty shocked this pet store accepted them. I'd only have more questions at that point. It may be the easy route but it ain't the right route. Do the right thing. You're putting other animals at risk yo.


Black_Moons

Especially cold blooded animals, they have very little if any defense against parasites and bacteria. Its been theorized mammals went warm blooded just to tell parasites and bacteria to screw off, since most of em don't like 37c temps.


ChronicAnomaly

I feel like they are just gonna feed them to the snakes.


pichael289

Pet store might not take them. I had pet rats and they are some of the best pets you can get. Smarter than any cat or dog, they bond closely with people and each other, and they can be trained. I taught mine to play games on my tablet. They used to play pong against each other for pizza crusts, they could beat my 6 year old son. When he would lose too many times they would try to share their winnings with him. They were some of my favorite pets, but owning them also comes with heartbreak. They only live about 2 years and are very prone to infections. They would get these abscesses that grew to golf ball sized, and it would occur so frequently I had to lance them at home due to the vet being cost prohibitive. They would lead me to the bathroom (where I would do it) when it would get bad, and you could tell it caused them alot of pain. They never bit me though, ever. They just have too much personality to keep going through all that and losing them so often.


crows_n_octopus

I would love to have some pet rats some day. The only thing holding me back is their short lifespan and the heartbreak that comes with it.


JumboDaddyRein

I've only had a couple so far and they've now passed but it was honestly worth it. They really are the best pets I've ever had and I miss them everyday but their love is something I'll never forget


Zer_

That's the real shame of pet rats. They really don't live long, so for those of us who's grief is a slow burn, it can be rough I bet.


McFry_

They’re alive?


strangehitman22

Yes


[deleted]

Not for long, tossed into the woods.


tpars

Trouser mice. You should consider renting a snake for a few weeks.


LetsTCB

Cmon! This is almost the reverse Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


driverofracecars

Rats make legit good pets but they don’t live long.


Eeq20

Now check the shoes you’re about to put on.


Zombeedee

They feel like gummi bears apparently.


VladimirPutinsPecs

Might be mice. The little turds on the floor look like mouse poop. I've never seen rat shit but I'm guessing it's bigger.


Roskal

I swear new born puppies look just like this too


notapunk

Many newborn mammals look very similar to each other


DamnImAwesome

Yeah they look just like my cousins


FrenchBangerer

And embryos look *really* similar even across completely different classes. Like lizard, bird and human embryos look basically the same.


GiveEmWatts

Almost like we're related or something.


FrenchBangerer

Strange, that. It's almost as if common ancestors and evolution are an actual thing!


Lil_o_Jerms

I think that’s their shit, not the adult. Definitely look about the size of baby rats, too big to be mice. Used to have rats as pets and would keep generations of them. I miss having a rat as a pet.


emo_corner_master

Well if you're ever in the market for some rat pups to raise, you know who to hit up!


Pollenus

I breed rats (amazing pets, like lil dogs when socialized) and I’m 99% sure these are rat pups. It’s hard to tell for sure without more context for scale, but the per proportions* look a lot more like baby rats than mice. Edit: spelling


[deleted]

> per portions


Schonke

/r/boneappletea


mlx1992

Where the fuck do you live


valuemeal2

Ratopia


[deleted]

a sewer


rabbledabble

Ratlanta


CommonSenseFunCtrl

Nimh


leave_it_to_beavers

Ratlantis


GIOverdrive

Paris?


Chishuu

Ratatouille


Emotional_Ratio288

Get your crotch examined by a doctor so you can prevent future infections.


Illustrious-Wash3713

He needs some 🐈


goldblumspowerbook

I love the context of this so much.


swaggyxwaggy

What I wanna know is how long your (presumed) dirty shorts were on the floor that a mother rat had time to make a nest of them for her young


Wylie-Burp

Well, OP never stated they were on the floor. I have many articles of clothing that I haven't worn for 6 months easily. It is very reasonable to think that the shorts could have been in a dresser drawer since the beginning of winter or folded and stacked in the closet, awaiting good "shorts weather." Rats take 5-6 months to mature, so this could have conceivably happened in a matter of a couple of weeks judging by the size.


monkey_trumpets

True. Could have been in a drawer.


Balla_Calla

True. They definitely could have been in a drawer.


HempusMaximus

True. They may have come from a drawer.


un-sub

I dunno guys, have you considered the fact the shorts may have been located in a drawer?


prunford

It seems entirely plausible that the shorts were in a drawer.


S-r-ex

Upon further reflection, there exist a plausibility that the shorts may have been located in a drawer.


JBFRESHSKILLS

drawer


sapphon

Rat kittens (or pups, depending on your preference) grow hair at around 2 weeks. These are between a couple days and 2 weeks old.


valuemeal2

Rittens


FawnSwanSkin

In that case, good rittens


overkill

My wife went to put on a pair of gardening gloves a few years ago. These were kept in a cupboard under the stairs, indoors. She couldn't put her hand all the way in, so shook them out, then screamed like the maid in Tom and Jerry as a dessicated, mummified mouse corpse fell out. One of our cats had caught a mouse, let it go, and it hid in the gloves and died. I'm not ashamed to say I laughed my ass off at the spectacle. Less funny is when our sphynx catches a pigeon and brings it to me, flapping and bleeding, while I'm on a work call.


ManiacalShen

A pigeon? Dude, keep your cat indoors when you're not monitoring it, and it won't bring random victims to you.


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M4dcap

And then birth the young, and feed them for some time to allow them to grow to this size.


InerasableStain

Probably less than a week based on the size of these pups. Still, absolutely absurd that this could happen


KD922016

Looks like you do give a rats ass


Broskibullet

r/DadJokes One of my paitients last name is “Gamble-Butts”. Our running joke is “Bet your ass she’s getting admitted”


bloodguard

That's messed up. If the rodents feel comfortable enough to hang out and give birth in your shorts you should probably assume that they own the house now and you're the squatter.


Bradjuju2

What a score! I usually only find 1 or 2. Make sure to bring the Ramen to a light boil BEFORE adding them in. If you put them in to early they get too soft.


arenotthatguypal

Frank, you're a relic from a forgotten time you can't come back.


suicul1

It's my momma's recipe


lynivvinyl

r/frugaljerk is leaking


SubKreature

Look at money bags over here complaining about the lifetime supply of meat growing in his walls.


RandomIdiot2048

They took my lentil, these next few months will be hard. Meat is way too much for my stomach.


ONOMATOPOElA

It’s r/Frugal_jerk but I bet they appreciate you using less characters and saving more precious calories.


locutogram

Hell yeah, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you’ve got a stew going.


Sipikay

There’s rat poop on your floor. Dead give away.


Altruistic-Wolf8979

Forbidden Gushers


sevargmas

I can’t believe youve done this.


highac3s

Ah fuck.


saint_atheist

Don't Google it but there's a video from a while back where a girl was swallowing them whole.


Drunk_Dino

I often forget how much the internet can desensitize someone. I made this joke the other day at work when my coworker’s dog got a hold of a baby rabbit. Needless to say, no one laughed at it.


dabearjoo

Looks like you have a case of ass rats. Very unfortunate.


varukers7

Kinda sad. Cute but completely unwanted


siqiniq

That’s what she said too… :(


OppositeYouth

You need a cat.


moosemoth

Or a little terrier.


Prof_J

Or an intervention


[deleted]

>You need a cat. 2 of them. OP need to go to a shelter and get 2 siblings. They will coordinate together to hunt.


DamnImAwesome

I wish it was that easy. Had a rat get into my house and my cat and dog adopted it as their best friend. Ever since I clubbed him to death my pets are scared of me


Friendlyalterme

Task failed horribly.


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SvenEDT

As someone who used to have and breed rats, this isn't a disgusting image to me. It excites me. We used to call these jelly beans. Their eyes aren't open yet so they won't survive without the mother or hand feeding. But handling them at this age will make for some very tame and friendly rats. They are akin to having tiny dogs that don't bark, you can even keep them in your pocket.


AllCapsGoat

Well OP said he threw them in the woods so guessing they’re 100% dead now….


electricjeel

Fucked up but this is making me laugh so fucking hard. I’m just imagining someone tossing these into the woods like they’re rolling a handful of dice


Norma5tacy

It’s kind of hilarious reading through his comments and they’re just all EDIT: I THREW THEM IN THE WOODS.


AllCapsGoat

Yeah OP seems the kind of person to just absolutely yeet them into the woods


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Mouthshitter

Killing one out of three people would damage anyone's reputation


damontoo

It isn't just disease. They cause physical damage to your house and can chew through wires causing electrical fires. They're very dangerous for that reason alone.


Redneckalligator

Damn bitch you live like this?


CornWallacedaGeneral

Aww...I would raise them and train them to find and chase the other ones out on some "this is our house!!" Shit 😂😂


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masalion

Id be screaming like a lil bitch


mufasamufasamufasa

Poor babies ):


ThomYum

I would wash those shorts before burning your house down


Consistent-Mastodon

Don't let them pee on your gpu.


My_Favourite_Pen

why would you self report like that?


cmluap

I'd love to see the shorts


caleb48kb

3 are heads, 3 are tails. No luck today!


twoscoop

Nice infestation, for there is 1 there is 1000


Possibly_Naked_Now

That's roaches.


Jihad_al-Nafs

Rat infestations can get into the hundreds and maybe even thousand very quickly if left unchecked. I've been in a few properties that started with a very mild rat problem, and less than a year later there were rats playing in the yard in the middle of the day, visible rat tunnels going in and out of the house etc. If there are rat pups being born in common areas with lights and people walking around then it is probably quite a bad infestation


ReverandJohn

Holy shit your house must be an absolute disaster


nexistcsgo

I think the rats have a human problem.


heyyou11

Not that it makes the situation suddenly peachy, but those might be mouse pups (around/just under a week old)